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“My darlings?”
Silence bared its hideous, sharp teeth at her. Vicious and torturous. Cruel and mocking. Far, far colder than the raging blizzard outside.
“May I come in?”
Her fingertips itched to open the door, but she waited patiently. Ducking inside the bedroom without their permission would be disrespectful and intrusive, an outright insult to everything she’d taught them over the years.
Tick-tock, tick-tock.
Once again, imposing silence fell upon the hallway… until a breathless cough answered her call. A pained groan soon followed. Worry gnawed at her bleeding soul like a leech did to an open wound, sucking the life out of her greedily.
“Mama?” Cassandra muttered inside the room, sounding confused.
Alcina breathed out, relieved. “Yes, darling. Can I come in?”
“Uh, sure. Give me a moment.” Another fit of coughing could be heard within the room. “Wake up, you snorebugs. Mother’s waiting outside.”
These daughters, seriously. So much for not liking cute nicknames anymore… Huffing a soft chuckle, Alcina shook her head fondly. Amusement gave way to endearment when she heard Daniela groan at her sister.
“Who are you calling a snorebug? You’re just as bad. Maybe even worse.” During the warmer seasons, Daniela’s voice was cheerful and full of life. But now? It was a far cry from its former, true self— way too nasal and hoarse. Completely drained. It pained Alcina to no end. “Wait… Mother’s outside, you say?”
An affirmative hum could be heard from outside the room, then a squeal.
“Ma—!” Her voice didn’t just crack, no. It shattered into a million pieces before she could even finish the word. After coughing quite a bit, she tried again. “Mama!”
Taking her youngest’s excitement as her cue to enter the bedroom, Alcina gently opened the door and ducked inside.
Illuminated only by the crackling fireplace beside the large bed, her girls’ room was considerably dimmer than the hallway outside. Yet much, much warmer. However, the steady flow of warmth emitted by the flames proved insufficient to her cold-blooded daughters, who were huddled up underneath a dozen blankets or so.
Crimson lips curved into a fond yet worried smile. “Oh, my darlings… How are you feeling?”
“Better now that you’re here,” Daniela said in a small, raw voice. Her ears fluttered a little, red at the tips. “Beli found out about our condition.”
Alcina blinked twice, confused. “Condition?”
Was there something she truly didn’t know about her daughters’ health? The mere thought frightened her.
Daniela nodded sleepily, cuddling a bit closer to Bela. Her eldest was still asleep. “Something about the seasons. And affection, I think.”
“Wait, let me...” Cassandra separated a bit from Bela’s side with narrowed eyes and elbowed her, eliciting a growl from her sister. “Wake up already, nerd. Mother’s here.”
Grumbling something akin to “tch, ‘m not a nerd, you brute...” under her breath, Bela brought a hand to her sweaty face. Letting out an exhausted groan, she rubbed her temples and sat up, her bones cracking in the process.
The cacophony made Alcina wince.
Obviously displeased with the sudden —and most likely unwanted— change in position, Daniela wiggled under the blankets and snuggled next to Bela once again. Cassandra did just that as well, but a tad more subtly.
Amused by her sisters’ antics, Bela rolled her good eye and scratched Daniela’s scalp gently. A satisfied purr filled the room.
“Hello, Mother.”
Alcina smiled. “Hello, darling.”
“Tell her about your discovery,” Daniela muttered, headbutting her sister’s shoulder. “The seasons thing. It makes a lot of sense.”
Bela tilted her head. “What… Oh, that. I, um, well...”
Taking a seat next to the bed, Alcina nodded encouragingly at her eldest. Bela took a deep breath, seemingly reassured by the small gesture.
Despite the sheer nervousness rolling off in waves from her trembling body, Bela’s voice did not shake as she said, “Well, as you already know, we loathe winter. Our blowflies cannot stand the cold at all. If we’re exposed to it, our metabolisms slow down drastically and our insects go into a hibernation-like state. Prolonged exposition causes both crystallisation and calcification. To make things even worse, we cannot produce body heat on our own. At least not naturally.”
Alcina hummed, well aware of that.
“However, there’s something more to it… And it doesn’t have to do with our weakness to the cold.” Sensing her sister’s growing distress, Daniela headbutted her lovingly and started purring again. Cassandra moved a bit closer to her. That seemed to do the trick. “Winter is— Mother, it’s just depressing. We cannot go out in fear of freezing to death, everything is covered in layers and layers of snow, the cold is unbearable even when there’s a fireplace nearby, the flowers are dead, most animals hide away because of the drop in temperature, the townsfolk don’t decorate the village with pretty and shiny lights because they still worship Mother Miranda for some reason I will never understand instead of some god-like manthing whose existence may well be a fraud...”
“And fruit doesn’t taste the same,” Daniela agreed sadly, nodding against Bela’s shoulder. “It sucks.”
Cassandra groaned and smacked Daniela upside the head with the strength of an exhausted newborn. “Of all the things you could’ve possibly complained about...”
That made Daniela giggle.
With her mouth slightly agape, Alcina looked at her daughters one by one. When was the last time I heard them laugh? And most importantly, what is Bela trying to tell me?
“I agree with Dani there.” The redhead stuck her tongue out at Cassandra, who huffed in mock annoyance. “And, well… Our behaviour also changes. For example, Cassandra and Daniela go from hectic to pettish during winter—”
“Says you.”
Bela rolled her eye in a blatant ‘sure, sure, whatever you say’ manner. For a brief moment, she flashed a tiny smile. “—which had me worried. It’s so unlike them, don’t you think?” Alcina nodded again, not trusting her voice. Her mind was reeling. “There’s also this… kind of helplessness...”
“Yeah, nothing feels interesting or thrilling anymore. Not even hunting or playing with the maidens,” Daniela supplied helpfully, a pout on her face. “There’s no point in doing stuff, it all feels pointless. A waste of time. It’s almost as if… as if the world lost its colors overnight.”
Cassandra took a deep breath, scowling at nothing in particular. She rested her chin on Bela’s shoulder and said, “Everything is so tiring for no reason. Waking up? Getting out of bed? Swarming through the castle’s hallways? Ugh… Just ugh...”
Alcina’s racing thoughts came to a halt, eyes widening in surprise.
Those symptoms… Please, don’t tell me...
“However, this only happens to them during winter—” Alcina didn’t miss the connotations of her wording. Nor did her sisters. “—so I decided to investigate a bit. I found nothing at first; I almost gave up. Enter the Duke blabbering about some fascinating books he’d found in Buzău last month, but keeping their contents a secret.”
Ah, yes, their trusted merchant never changed.
“I got curious, so I bought them all.” A shy smile curved her daughter’s lips. “They turned out to be a compendium of… well, mental illnesses. Written by trusted doctors from all around the globe. I went through their contents and found something that matched our, ah, symptoms.”
Alcina’s heart thundered between her ears as Bela groaned, rubbing her temples again. Suddenly, a plethora of possibilities rushed through her mind, each a thousand times more worrying than the prior one. What if this was no simple depression? What if she couldn’t help her daughters? What if—
“It’s called Seasonal Affective Disorder, more commonly known as winter depression.” Bela frowned and pursed her lips, tilting her head a bit. “Though the books did say some people go through it during summer… It’s just rarer, apparently. I don’t understand how that even works—”
Cassandra cleared her throat. “Off-topic.”
Rolling her functional eye once again, she decided to exploit Cassandra’s not-so-secret weakness to kindly shut her up— Bela scratched the brunette’s scalp and waited. A moment later, her smile morphed into a victorious smirk upon hearing Cassandra’s quiet purr.
“Anyway… There’s nothing to worry about, this disorder is temporary. Unfortunately for us, it’s caused by shortened daylight hours and a lack of sunlight. A bit troublesome considering where we live.” Bela smiled again before yawning loudly. Daniela echoed the sound, tears spilling from her tired eyes. “But that’s alright. It’ll go away on its own, but it’s going to take… a lot of time.”
Temporary. It won’t last forever. They’re going to be alright.
Relief immediately flooded Alcina’s heart and mind. Most of her gnawing concern disappeared right away, vanished into thin air. So did the tension in her shoulders. Leaning against the backrest of her seat, she exhaled slowly.
Yes, a huge part of her was still worried about her daughters. Alcina guessed that, as a mother of three bug-spawns with issues of their own, the whispers of concern would never be snuffed out in their entirety. Especially not after all they’d been through together. Not that she minded, of course; she’d do anything for her darling girls.
However, this she could handle. She wasn’t new to this, after all.
As brilliant and dedicated as her sweet Bela was, her daughter was depressed and anxious to the bone. They’d danced to this song many times in the past; the steps were muscle memory by now. Alcina was prepared for this.
“That’s my clever girl,” Alcina praised her eldest with a fond, bright smile. Bela’s ears reddened and fluttered in a matter of seconds. “Good job, my dear.”
An idea crossed her mind then, one that would hopefully soothe her aching daughters and keep them warm at the same time. It was the least she could do. Her chest swelled with protectiveness and love at the thought.
“Say,” she murmured, her voice a deep and soothing purr that made her girls smile. “What if I run you three a bath?”
Daniela perked up, pulling away from Bela a bit. “In your bathtub?” she asked, her eyes sparkling with childlike excitement. “Like when we were younger?”
“Yes, my dear.”
Whilst her youngest squealed in delight, Bela fell back onto the mattress without a word.
The movement startled Cassandra, who raised an eyebrow and tapped Bela’s cheek a few times. Nothing happened. “And she’s out.”
A soft snore proved her statement right.
Daniela giggled and mumbled a tired “hah, what a baby” under her breath. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep as well, smiling and purring up a little storm against Bela’s shoulder in the process.
Chuckling to herself, Alcina got up from her seat and approached the sleeping girls. She gently stroked Daniela’s hair. Fondness shimmered in her eyes at the adorable sight. Her eldest and youngest cuddling like newborns… It sure tugged at her heartstrings. She looked at Cassandra and smiled, “I’ll be back soon, darling. Until then, sleep well.”
“Actually… Do you mind if I go with you, Mother?”
“Oh? I thought you were tired.”
“I am,” Cassandra admitted in a small voice, leaving the bed as carefully as possible. If her sisters noticed her absence in their sleep, they didn’t show it. Nor did they move when Cassandra grabbed one of their many blankets and wrapped it around her shivering body to fight off the cold. “But I want to stretch my legs for a bit. Is that alright?”
Alcina could tell that something was bothering Cassandra greatly right away. Her façade was almost non-existent when it came to these things. Besides, her middle daughter never asked questions of the like; they made her look small and fragile, according to her. Weak.
Cracking a reassuring smile, Alcina smoothed her daughter’s unruly hair a little. Her heart soared when Cassandra leaned into her touch. “Of course, my dear. Why don’t you fetch Bela’s shampoo while I go for Daniela’s, hm?”
“Right away, Mother.”
Holding her blanket against her body a tad closer, Cassandra entered the adjacent bathroom. Though it was dark inside, she could tell it was neatly organised. As expected from Bela. A pleasant, flowery scent tickled her nostrils in a matter of seconds— lavender with vanilla undertones. That smelled just like Bela’s shampoo. Bingo.
Cassandra paused for a moment, having spotted two bottles near the bathtub. She raised an eyebrow as she examined them. Shampoo and conditioner, but of course. With an amused smirk, she grabbed them and returned to the bedroom. Apparently, in the minute she’d been away, Daniela had somehow thrown herself over their poor, unsuspecting sister. Bela’s expression was the epitome of exhausted calmness.
Her smirk softened into a smile. “What a pain.”
With a huff, Cassandra approached the ornate door. As she walked away, two blowflies broke from her cheekbones and flew towards the bed. They landed on one of the many pillows and laid next to Bela and Daniela, buzzing merrily as they did.
Just in case.
Upon exiting the room, she found Alcina waiting for her in the hallway, Daniela’s lemon-scented shampoo in hand already.
“That was fast.”
“Her room is a mess. I found it on her vanity.”
Cassandra rolled her eyes, a smirk on her lips. “Well, that’s Dani for you.”
“I wouldn’t have her any other way,” Alcina chuckled. Nodding at Cassandra’s room, she smiled. “Go fetch yours, dear.”
Ignoring the blatant worry in her mother’s eyes, Cassandra sprinted a little and entered her bedroom. She immediately shivered, grimacing. The fireplace was out —after all, she had no intention whatsoever to sleep there, not when Daniela and her had successfully hijacked Bela’s room— and it was damn cold inside, so she hurried towards the adjacent bathroom and grabbed the bottle of mint-scented shampoo.
In four long strides, she was back outside.
“That was fast,” Alcina joked light-heartedly, beginning to walk down the hallway.
“Yes, well, I’m a very efficient person.”
“That you are, my dear. You are my efficient little one.”
Silence soon fell upon the two, both a blessing and a curse. Though it grated on Cassandra’s nerves and ears to no end, especially now that she was struggling to put her thoughts and emotions into words, it gave her enough time to think things properly.
Opening up to people, her mother and sisters included, was an absolute nightmare for her. It was complicated, messy, and a downright pain in the ass. She didn’t understand how Daniela could be so straightforward most of the time.
After a while, she finally found her voice.
“Mother?”
The raw hesitation in her daughter’s tone made Alcina pause mid-step. It didn’t sound like her fearless, strong-willed, confident Cassandra at all.
In the blink of an eye, the excruciating worry from before was intoxicating her system once again.
“Yes, darling?”
Her daughter’s claws pierced the thick blanket a little. Cassandra seemed to be completely unaware of this, though, as she was focused on the many paintings scattered across the walls. She looked… haunted.
“Can I tell you a story?”
Oh, that definitely sounded… unsettling. Cassandra was no storyteller; she lacked the patience and tact for it. Furthermore, whenever they all gathered in the library to read the afternoon away, Cassandra vehemently refused to read aloud because of her visual dyslexia. Performing snippets of Bela’s old plays was alright with her, but narrating a story? Not even Daniela’s pleading could make her determination waver.
Moreover, when it came to communication, Cassandra was the embodiment of act first, think later.
Yes, her daughter definitely lacked the tact for that.
“Of course, my dear.”
Looking away, Cassandra nodded and licked her lips. Her talons kept perforating the poor blanket until...
“Long ago, in the Romanian countryside, a girl was born into a… a relatively well-off family, yes. Not quite rich, but definitely not poor.” There was a pause marked by an audible gulp. Discomfort oozed from Cassandra’s shivering body. “The mother adored her newborn, yet the father… Well, it was hatred at first sight. A girl; his firstborn was a girl.” Her voice wavered a bit, growing a tad venomous. “He didn’t want anything to do with the baby, so he let his wife name her. And that she did; from that day onwards, the girl was called Mihaela.”
For a brief moment, Alcina’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. Surprise, alarm, confusion… Her emotions were racing at speeds unknown, completely out of control.
All because of a name she knew far too well.
“You could say that Mihaela grew up without a father. He refused to raise her, to look at her… But he did talk about her. Behind closed doors. Said she was a disappointment, complained about her temper,” Cassandra continued, looking at the shampoo bottles nestled in her arms with newfound interest. She refused to meet Alcina’s piercing, worried gaze. “It’s no wonder she assimilated some of his… behaviour… over the years. In any case; the father still wanted a son. Desperately. So the couple tried again… and again… and again. It appears that his wife couldn’t get pregnant that easily.”
Alcina hummed, furious at the manthing. “Any idea why?”
“Stress and fragile health, the doctors said,” Cassandra answered quietly. “Because of that, her pregnancies often resulted in… yeah. The man didn’t take that well. But, eventually, they managed to conceive another child. This one did grow, did live to full term. The baby was a strong, healthy, and active one even before birth. The man was enthused, which hurt Mihaela deeply. Her mother reassured her, of course, but the girl was bitter nonetheless. She was going to be replaced, she thought. That… That changed later on, a few months after her third birthday, when her sister was born.”
“Let me guess,” Alcina drawled, unable to keep her scorching anger off her voice. “The manthing didn’t want that baby either.”
Cassandra’s nose wrinkled up in disgust, but she nodded nonetheless. “Correct. The mother was in charge of naming the baby once again. This time, however, she consulted her options with Mihaela. Together they came up with a fitting name for the newborn; Irina.”
Yet another name Alcina recognised…
She didn’t know what to think, what to feel.
“Things went downhill from that moment on. Money became an issue because of the father’s alcoholic tendencies. He also gambled recklessly on occasion, which often resulted in him being debt-ridden.” Cassandra licked her lips again. Her voice turned wistful as she hummed. “Screams filled the house for hours on end. Vases and furniture shattered under the manthing’s wrath. He blamed his wife for, and I quote, giving him two useless girls who do nothing but whine all day long. She told him that it takes two to make a child… He didn’t take that well either. After that, the woman’s health declined rapidly, leaving her bedridden for weeks at a time, so Mihaela was left to raise Irina on her own.” Alcina noticed how Cassandra cracked a small yet proud smile as she said, “I think she did a good job, all things considered.”
They finally arrived at Alcina’s bedroom.
“Oh, I’m sure she did,” Alcina played along, determined to confront her daughter once the little ‘story’ came to an end. Opening the bathroom door, she quietly asked, “What happened next?”
Cassandra followed her inside. “Well, you know what they say… The third time’s a charm. Despite the woman’s deplorable health, the man tried to have a son again. The doctors told him not to, said it’d put his wife’s life in danger, but he didn’t listen.” A shadow crossed Cassandra’s face. Her features twitched. “He didn’t care about her and their daughters. All he wanted was a son; that was his one goal in life, it seemed. That and neglecting and screaming at his daughters for no good reason.” Cassandra left the bottles of shampoo on the basin and rubbed her temples. Sweat was running down her face. “Mihaela was about to turn five when it all happened; her second sister’s birth and their mother’s death. A life for a life.”
The bathtub’s taps nearly snapped in half underneath Alcina’s fingertips.
“The man, now a widower, wanted nothing to do with his newborn daughter. He… He actually blamed her for the woman’s death. Anyway. Seeing that they were responsible for their sister, Mihaela let Irina name her… Huge mistake, if you ask me.” A bit of humour dripped from her voice in spite of her solemn expression.
“It cannot be that bad.”
“Mama, she named her Lois.”
Despite her initial shock, Alcina chuckled airily. “Let’s pretend I didn’t say anything, hm?”
Cassandra snorted, head twitching from left to right. Her mother’s laugh seemed to soothe her a bit. “Lois resented her sisters for that as she grew up. Complained about it an awful lot, too.” Her smile morphed into something sour and resentful. “If their father hated Mihaela, he utterly despised Lois. The girl tried to do everything right, but it wasn’t enough. It never was. Soon enough, his screams turned into...” Cassandra’s fists clenched and clenched until her talons perforated her skin. Though the wound healed in a matter of seconds, the scent of blood filled the bathroom just as quickly. “One day, he tried to sell his deceased wife’s belongings… and Lois fucking lost it because, unlike her sisters, she hadn’t had the chance to meet her mother. In her eyes, those belongings were all she had left from her. That and her sisters. So she… she lost her temper and started screaming at her father. She insulted him and listed all of his flaws right to his face. The man retaliated far more aggressively than ever before.”
Cold dread travelled down Alcina’s spine slowly.
“Mihaela and Irina eventually managed to calm the beast down, but it was too late. Their sister was on the floor, bleeding and whimpering and gasping for air. The girls knew how to sanitize and stitch wounds, but they couldn’t fix broken bones, I’m afraid. After that, Lois became meek and docile.” There was another pause marked by a gulp. “When Mihaela turned twenty-two, their father finally got rid of them. He offered the sisters to the village’s new priestess, Mother Miranda, for a few thousand Lei.”
Alcina tried to imagine herself selling her daughters off to a complete stranger for a few thousand Lei, but her mind drew a blank. The mere thought made her sick to her stomach. Who in their mind could do, let alone consider doing, such a horrible thing? To their own flesh and blood at that?
Her claws itched out a bit, but she retracted them back quickly. There was no point in getting angry now, not when her daughter was baring her heart to her.
Besides, the damned manthing was most probably six feet underground by now. That improved her mood ever so slightly.
“The sisters were ecstatic at first, understandably so. Anything was a thousand times better than living in that old house with their father… But the damage— his damage— had already been done.” Cassandra cleared her throat and walked toward the bathtub, dipping a hand into the warm water that kept filling it slowly but surely. “Mihaela was a furious wreck with no filter whatsoever. Irina was clingy and dreamy… But quite delusional. Lois was an anxious mess who seemed to breathe and live for praise and affection. They were tearing at the seams and nobody could put them back together… Nobody tried to, anyway.”
Alcina swallowed hard, but subtly.
Things were getting too familiar way too fast for comfort.
“Life with the Priestess wasn’t bad… It was peaceful, even. But, unfortunately, nothing lasts forever.” Another shadow crossed Cassandra’s face, far more prominent than the prior one. Water dripped from the gaps of her fingers. “Mihaela was seething one day; something about her lover cheating on her with another maiden, if I recall correctly. In her rage, she snapped at their Priestess… Hadn’t it been for Lois, she’d have probably died right then and there.”
Alcina frowned. “What do you mean, darling?”
With a huff that bordered on a snarl, Cassandra punched the water. Her reflection shattered for a moment. “Lois begged the Priestess for forgiveness.” Her voice increased an octave as she said, “Mother Miranda, please don’t hurt my sister. I’m sure she didn’t mean any of it; she’s blinded by her emotions, you see. You can punish me instead if you’d like, but please don’t hurt my sister.” Her shoulders shook as she exhaled. She slowly brought a hand to her face. “Mother Miranda did just that. Without even blinking, she gouged Lois’ right eye out. Just like that. Just because she could. Just because she wanted to.”
Well, that certainly proved Alcina’s suspicions right. It also solved the mystery that revolved around the missing eye.
Her sweet, self-sacrificing Bela was...
“What did Lois do after that?” Alcina asked, filling three pots with hot water. She left them by the tub once they were filled to the brim. “And her sisters?”
“Mihaela and Irina were frozen in place. Too shocked to do anything. Too scared to help their sister. And Lois… Lois simply got to her knees, blood dripping down her face, and thanked her.” Cassandra cleared her throat, grimacing as she did, and said in that slightly high-pitched voice from before, “Thank you, Mother Miranda! Thank you for sparing my sister. It’s just as they say; your kindness truly knows no bounds.” A sigh danced off her daughter’s lips. “Everything after that is a blur of colors and noises. It’s… too confusing. And thinking back on it hurts so much.”
Taking a deep breath, Alcina opened her arms. “Come here, my darling.”
“The sisters died,” Cassandra whispered as she sank into her mother’s warm, loving embrace. Her entire body relaxed. “But life gave them a… second opportunity. Many things changed, most of them for the better, but there’s something I’ll never understand.” There was a dramatic pause. “Somehow, the youngest awoke first and became the eldest. Like, it doesn’t make any sense to me.”
Alcina laughed. “Of all the things you could’ve possibly complained about...”
Shaking her head against the crook of Alcina’s neck, Cassandra huffed in mock annoyance. “Mother, please don’t use my own words against me. It is unbecoming.”
“Don’t tell me what to do, young lady,” Alcina chided softly as she scratched her daughter’s head. Shy purring echoed throughout the bathroom in a heartbeat. “Darling… Why do you remember so much about your past?”
Cassandra pulled away a bit, enough to look her in the eye. “You can thank the Season Disorder thing for that. I... I cannot sleep without seeing stuff from before. And I hate it, Mama. I hate it so much.”
“Is that why you wanted to come with me?”
“Yeah,” she admitted in a small voice. “It was too cozy, I would’ve fallen asleep if I hadn’t gotten out of there in time.”
Alcina nodded, resuming her gentle scratching. “Do your sisters know about this? Or experience it as well?”
“I doubt it,” Cassandra said as she hummed approvingly. “They never talk about dreams, but they do mention voices.”
“Voices?”
“You know, the ones they always hear?” Cassandra clarified quietly, wrinkling her nose up a bit. Her breathing was getting shallower, a bit more erratic. “The pessimistic ones that keep feeding them lies of all kinds. They get worse in winter. Louder. They— Bela and Daniela— get very pessimistic because of them. They just stop being themselves and it’s awful. Sometimes I cannot even recognise them!”
Sighing wistfully, Alcina nodded. “I see.”
“I cannot hear the voices. Not now, not ever,” Cassandra whispered, looking at her sisters’ shampoo bottles with a troubled expression. “But I can remember things from our past even though I don’t want to. It’s weird and so unfair… But it feels kind of right? It means we’re all fucked up, I guess.”
Alcina clicked her tongue. “Language, my dear.”
“Right, right… Sorry about that.”
While Alcina considered her next words carefully, silence dug its sharp and eager claws into the air around them. None of them spoke a word for what felt like ages.
This cannot go on, Alcina decided. When will they learn that the world is not just black and white? That they’re allowed to have moments of vulnerability? That it’s okay to have doubts and insecurities?
“Cassandra, my darling, please look at me.” Her daughter took a deep, deep breath and faced her with a grim expression. Almost as if she were heading to the gallows. “There’s my brave girl. Listen to me now, okay? You and your sisters… You three are flawed, yes, but that does not make you a failure. Not at all. You are perfect just the way you are.”
Sniffing a bit, Cassandra shook her head. Tears started welling up in her eyes. “You say that because you’re our mother.”
“Oh, draga mea, do you seriously think Miranda told us such things back when she was still alive and in charge?” A victorious smile curved Alcina’s lips when her daughter shrugged. “But you are right. I am your mother… and I am so, so proud of you three.”
Cassandra’s ears fluttered a bit as curiosity and hope shimmered in her eyes. “Really?”
“Really,” Alcina whispered back. “I mean it when I say that I wouldn’t have you three any other way. There is nothing wrong with having flaws; everyone has them. They shape us into what we are, into who we are. You three are my whole life, dear, and I love you just the way you are. Flaws included.”
“Even if said flaws are…” Cassandra scowled and snapped her fingers, trying to find a way to put her thoughts into words. “Self-destructive and exhausting?”
Alcina smiled warmly, placing a hand on Cassandra’s cheek and wiping a lone tear away. “Do you think Bela and Daniela are defective because of their flaws? That they are exhausting or unbearable?”
Golden eyes widened in surprise. “Of course not, Mother!” Then, in a much softer voice, she added, “It’s actually so frustrating… All I can do is stand there, unable to do anything for them. I cannot string those voices up or slice them into pieces with my sickle and claws. I just… I can only sit by and watch as the damn voices tear them apart. They keep hurting them and I cannot do anything about it! I’m… I’m useless, Mother…”
“That’s not true, darling. Your presence means a lot to them.” Alcina tilted her daughter’s head a bit when she looked away from her. “It does. When did my strong, confident girl get so insecure?”
“When she realised that she cannot protect her sisters,” Cassandra answered weakly, shame oozing from her pores. “No matter how hard I try, there’s always something that… that I cannot fight for them. And seeing them in pain hurts, Mama. It hurts so much.”
“I know, darling.” Gently, she kissed her daughter’s forehead. “I know.”
Cassandra’s claws twitched as she sniffled, leaning into Alcina’s hands with a small pout. Tears kept flowing down her pallid cheeks, unrestrained. Small hiccups tore through her lips as she wept her heart out for the first time in years.
Hmm, I wonder if that Seasonal Affective Disorder thing has strengthened this feeling of helplessness. I’ve never seen her this distraught before, Alcina reflected whilst brushing more of Cassandra’s tears away. They were cold to the touch. Bela and Daniela mentioned it, after all… Then again, they might experience certain symptoms differently due to their own, pre-existing issues. I’ll have to look into this later.
“Ah, should I go fetch my sisters?” Cassandra asked in a quiet, broken voice, clearly desperate to change the subject. “The bath’s going to get cold at this rate.”
Cracking a warm smile, Alcina rose to her full height. “I’ll go, don’t worry. Besides, I can always carry them if they fall asleep on the way here.”
Cassandra snorted, rubbing her eyes. “That’s true.”
“I won’t be long, darling.”
The moment Alcina ducked outside and left for good, Cassandra focused on the blowflies she’d left in Bela’s bedroom. Those within her buzzed merrily as she reached for the other two, connecting their subconscious again and seeing life through their eyes.
Her sisters had moved once more; Daniela was now spooning Bela, her chin resting upon the blonde’s head. Bela, on the other hand, was hugging a bunch of pillows. Cassandra didn’t really know if they were purring or snoring… Or doing both at the same time. That certainly was a possibility.
After a few minutes, the door creaked open.
“Darlings?” Alcina asked while carefully stepping inside the room. “Still asleep, hm?”
Thankfully, her mother didn’t seem to notice the blowflies laying beside Bela and Daniela when she approached them. Good, she thought, that’d have been embarrassing.
“The bath is ready, my dears.”
Bela remained asleep somehow— Cassandra wholeheartedly believed that she could sleep through the damn apocalypse should it ever happen.
Daniela stirred a bit, though, groaning as she did. “Five more minutes?”
Alcina chuckled. “I’m afraid not, darling. Unless you want to bathe in cool water, that is.” That made her sisters growl. “Come on, girls, Cassandra is waiting for us in the bathroom.”
With a muffled groan, Bela opened her eye and scanned the place. Her expression turned sad when she noticed that she was actually hugging a bunch of pillows. “When did she leave?”
“Shortly after you two fell asleep,” Alcina said, unable to fight back a smile. “Cheer up, little ones. Your sister wanted to help me out, is all.”
Hopping out of the bed with a loud yawn, Daniela rubbed her eyes and grumbled, “Sure, sure. You don’t have to defend her, Mama, really. If she wanted to leave us that badly she could’ve just said so, geez. No need to sneak her way out.”
Panic hit Cassandra like a blizzard upon hearing that.
“Dani, don’t be silly,” Bela scolded softly, wrapping herself up in a cocoon of blankets before leaving the bed. In all honesty, she looked just like a sick maggot. Her ears even dropped a bit. “You know Cassandra, she probably wanted to… stretch her legs or something. You two have too much pent-up energy at times, I swear.”
Dammit, she thought, Bela knows me too well.
“You are right, draga mea.” Bela cracked a bright smile at that, looking a tad less miserable for a moment. “Let’s not keep your sister waiting.”
When the three of them exited the bedroom, Cassandra ordered the blowflies to return to her… Though she did stop them a few times to check on her family, who were complaining about the cold. Their mother simply laughed along with a fond glint in her eyes, shaking her head at their antics.
Another minute or two went by until Daniela finally stormed into the bathroom, Bela hot on her heels. Their teeth chattered as they stepped inside. Their mother entered last and immediately headed towards her.
“I saw the blowflies,” Alcina whispered into her ear. “I think Bela noticed them as well. How sweet of you, darling.”
Her cheeks went up in flames as she looked from Alcina to Bela, who was looking at her subtly. Or at least trying to. “I— It was nothing. Just in case they… started having a nightmare or something, is all. Don’t read too much into it.”
Bela’s smirk was hard to miss.
“Ooh, the water’s still hot! And it smells like your soap, Mama,” Daniela exclaimed, eagerness dripping from her voice. “C’mon, let’s hop inside already!”
Daniela’s statement seemed to trigger something within her all of a sudden. A memory floated before her eyes; an ill-looking woman helping a little redhead, probably no older than two, into a gray bathtub. The girl submerged her hands in the water and blew at the bubbles she’d collected, giggling as she watched them sway left and right.
The woman turned around, reaching a hand out towards her. Her palm was facing up as her fingers curled in a way that could only mean come here. A minuscule part of her wanted to comply for whatever incomprehensible reason.
“—afraid of the water now, Cassandra?”
Bela’s voice brought her back to reality abruptly.
Dammit, she thought as she looked at her sister, I fucking hate when that happens.
Though the blonde was staring at her with a smirk on her lips, definitely proud of whatever bad jibe she’d just uttered, Cassandra could see the raw concern swirling within her eye and the fondness that dwelt underneath.
“If you don’t hurry over—” She waved at the space between her and Daniela with a lazy hand. “We’ll have to start without you.”
Cassandra huffed as naturally as possible, ignoring both Alcina’s and Bela’s worried gazes like the plague. “In your dreams, Bela. I was praying for my poor scalp, that’s all.”
“Sure you were.”
Undressing quickly, Cassandra got in the bathtub —her tense, tired muscles relaxed right away thanks to the hot water— and sat between Bela and Daniela. In the meantime, Alcina grabbed the discarded clothes and blankets before nodding at the door.
“I’m going to fetch you some nightgowns. I’ll be right back.”
They chanted, “Thank you, Mother!” in unison, which made them giggle.
Cassandra hummed as she reached for one of the three pots Alcina had left by the bathtub. “It’s been a while since we last did this, huh?” she commented in a small voice, carefully pouring some of the water on Daniela’s head.
Behind her, Bela did the same to her.
“Six or seven years, maybe...”
Daniela purred when Cassandra massaged her scalp, hands sticky with shampoo. She threw her head back. “We should do this more often,” she said in a dreamy sigh. “Remind me why we stopped doing this again?”
“Bela thought it was childish.”
“Cassandra thought it was childish.”
For a moment, Bela stopped washing her hair. “I’m sorry?”
“You’re excused,” Cassandra drawled smugly.
“I don’t think it’s childish.” Daniela stopped them before they could start bickering, her voice a happy whisper that contributed to the peace and quiet of their bath. She moved her right arm back and forth, swaying the bubbles lazily. “It’s very nice. Makes me feel all fuzzy and warm inside. I’ve missed doing this with you two.”
Bela’s hands started working on her hair again, her claws scratching Cassandra’s scalp as they moved up and down. “Yeah… I agree with you.”
“Then why—”
“I didn’t want you to think I’m clingy or overbearing,” Bela blurted out, cutting through her question without hesitation. “I was scared, okay?”
Cassandra sighed. Those damn voices… I’ll get back at them someday, I swear.
“I wouldn’t have judged you.”
None of them uttered a word after that… At least not until Cassandra was carefully pouring the remaining of her pot’s water on Daniela’s head to rinse the shampoo off her hair.
“Thank you, Cass,” Bela muttered before doing the same thing to her. “That means a lot to me.”
“Don’t mention it,” Cassandra whispered back, running her fingers down Daniela’s hair to untangle it a bit. She worked through them slowly, afraid of tugging too hard because of her twitchy fingers. “I know Dani usually washes your hair, but…”
Daniela turned around and beamed. “You can do it, Cassie! I’m gonna go check on Mother, make sure everything’s fine.”
“Careful not to slip on the way out,” Bella called, working on Cassandra’s tangles almost masterfully.
The redhead rolled her eyes at them before getting out of the bathtub. With the grace of a newborn deer, Daniela walked towards the door and grabbed one of the three bathrobes that hung from the clothes rack beside it. Then she snatched a towel and started drying her hair.
When she finished, she hung it up again —if only a bit carelessly— and opened the door.
They heard their mother’s voice, imposing and unrelenting, right after.
“—five thousand Lei, I won’t accept less than that.” There was a pause followed by a deep inhale. “Because the wine I produce is of extremely high quality. It is worth every single Lei. If you cannot afford that quantity then… Well, I guess we will have to cut our partnership short...”
Daniela smirked and exited the bathroom quietly, closing the door behind her with a faint click.
“And there she goes. I hope she doesn’t cause Mother any trouble; business calls always make her cranky,” Cassandra said, unable to fight back a smile. Grabbing the last full pot, she faced Bela. “Okay, turn around.”
“This is Daniela we’re talking about,” Bela said, turning her back on Cassandra. “Of course she will. Mayhem is her thing, after all.”
They shared a conspiratorial giggle before Cassandra carefully spilled some water down Bela’s head. Her hands trembled slightly as she placed the pot back on the table.
After pouring some lavender-scented shampoo on her hands, Cassandra started washing her sister’s hair. She could hear her heart thundering between her ears.
“Did you really think I’d judge you?”
Bela tensed up almost imperceptibly. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
Humming softly to herself, Cassandra examined the blonde’s back. Dozens of scars marred the pallid skin, all of them uneven and irregular. Bullets, the cold, knife swings… They’d all left their mark on Bela’s flesh for eternity.
Damn that Winters, Cassandra thought bitterly whilst glaring at the crack-like ones that crisscrossed the entirety of Bela’s back. If we hadn’t needed him to overthrow Mother Miranda, I would have strung him up and made sure he died a slow, painful death.
Because, at the end of the day, those scars were nothing but a reminder of her inability to protect Bela from yet another manthing.
Guilt clawed at her heart. If only I hadn’t let him go when I had the chance to finish him off… Then maybe Bela wouldn’t have gotten hurt at all.
“Was it… Was it the voices?” she whispered, looking away from her sister’s back. “Did they tell you I would judge you?”
Bela’s gulp was nothing but audible. “Yes.”
Cassandra exhaled slowly through her nose. Hope and helplessness bubbled within her chest, contradicting and confusing. “You can always… talk to me, you know? If you want. When things start getting out of control. I don’t understand your situation as well as Dani, but I… can lend you a hand. Or an ear. Whichever you prefer.”
“Hah, that’s rich coming from you,” Bela mumbled, sounding downright miserable again. “I know there’s something bugging you, but you refuse to talk about it. You like to act all tough even when things aren’t going your way.”
“Guess we’re a bunch of hypocrites, huh?”
“Yeah, we are.” Bela shifted a bit, enough to look at Cassandra with her good eye. “Really now, what’s wrong? I haven’t seen you this troubled since… you know...”
Reaching for the basin again, Cassandra sighed. “I… remembered stuff from our past life. I dream of it whenever I fall asleep.” Bela’s eye widened before she closed it hastily, shielding it from the lukewarm water. “The memories are fragmented and out of order, but they’re there. And I hate it so much.”
“You want nothing to do with it,” Bela whispered, nodding a bit. “Is that it?”
“We’re happy now.” Putting the basin down once more, she grabbed the bottle of conditioner. “I have no need for those memories.”
Bela hummed. “Don’t use too much.”
“So bossy and ungrateful,” Cassandra said, all bark and no bite. “It’s just that… Remembering things is horrible. I cannot do anything besides watch as shit unfolds—”
“Language.”
“—and, yeah, knowing that we three have always been sisters is nice and all, but there’s stuff I don’t want or need to remember.”
Bela shifted again, ears fluttering a bit like those of a curious cat. “Such as?”
Cassandra took a deep, shaky breath. Her hands trembled further, woven into Bela’s hair. “How you lost your damn eye.”
“Oh...”
“Yeah.”
Her sister cleared her throat. “Was it— Did I do something stupid? Is that how I lost it?”
Taken by surprise, Cassandra barked a laugh that turned into a cough. “Why are you asking me that?” Bela shrugged a bit. Fondness bubbled in her chest at the question... not that she’d ever admit that aloud to Bela of all people, obviously. “Of course you did. It’s like a talent you’ve always had, doing stupid things without thinking about the consequences.”
Cassandra didn’t bother to dodge Bela’s slap. She even cackled when the blonde said, “You brat” through gritted teeth.
“Enough about me,” she said, pulling her hands away from Bela’s hair. “What’s bugging you?”
Bela raised one eyebrow. “I’m alright.”
Despite all her efforts, Cassandra laughed again. “Sure you are. Does ‘This only happens to them in winter’ ring a bell to you?” Bela immediately looked away. “Hah, I gotcha.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Who’s the one trying to act all tough now, hm?”
Silence fell upon them as they glared at each other. Then, with a huff, Bela submerged her head into the water to rinse the conditioner off.
When she re-emerged, Cassandra smirked and splattered her. “I’m waiting...”
“Seriously, I’m alright now.” Bela carefully got out of the bathtub and walked toward the clothes rack, far more graceful than Daniela had been. She grabbed the remaining bathrobes and offered one to Cassandra, who’d followed her out. “Being with you and Dani helps a lot.”
“I can sense a but coming. Spit it out.”
Bela looked at the door and whispered, “It’s scary, okay? Hearing an ominous voice inside your head that keeps telling you how annoying and useless you are. How your family hates you and will leave you behind if you screw up. How they’re actually putting up with you out of pity and not love.”
“You know that’s not true.” Cassandra frowned as she reached for the towel to dry her hair. “You know that, right?”
Toying with the robe’s fluffy belt, Bela shrugged. “In theory, yes.” She clicked her tongue. “But the voices… They’re persuasive.”
“Define persuasive.”
“They scream a lot,” Bela explained, grimacing a little. “And they rarely shut up. It’s like I’m never alone. I try to fight them, but nothing ever works. They can be quite convincing from time to time.”
Cassandra hummed and passed Bela the towel once she was done drying her hair.
“My offer still stands.” Even though she’d looked away, opting to stare at the mirror instead of her sister, she could feel Bela’s eye on her. “Admittedly, I’m a shitty conversationalist. We all know that very well… But if you ever need someone to talk to, you know where to find me. I won’t judge you.”
Bela’s ruffling slowed down a bit as a stream of emotions rushed through her face. It finally settled on gratitude.
“C’mon, let’s go annoy Daniela.” Cassandra left the bathroom in record time, not wanting to hear Bela’s words of thankfulness.
Much to absolutely nobody’s surprise, Daniela was half-asleep on their mother’s lap, humming quietly as Alcina noted something down in her journal. However, she perked up almost immediately when they stepped inside the bedroom.
Alcina smiled at them.
“I was beginning to think you’d drowned in the bathtub,” Daniela mumbled sleepily, rubbing her eyes. “What took you so long?”
Cassandra smirked. “Bela’s conditioner.”
A bony elbow nudged her all of a sudden, digging perhaps a tad too painfully into the skin right below her ribcage, but it was definitely worth it.
“Smells nice.” Daniela sniffed the air. “Vanilla?”
“Ugh, finally someone who appreciates it. Thank you, Dani,” Bela complained as she walked towards the black nightgowns that Alcina had prepared for them, changing clothes in the blink of an eye. “Cassandra is just so ungrateful at times.”
Despite the mocking words, Cassandra heard the underlying fondness in Bela’s voice loud and clear. The gratitude she’d tried to escape from before was there, too, hidden at plain sight from Daniela and Alcina— though, judging by the knowing glint in their mother’s eyes, she was probably aware of what had transpired in the bathroom. Her hearing knew no bounds at times, after all.
“And you’re just plain rude,” Cassandra bit back, putting the nightgown on and hurrying to her mother’s side.
“I assume you three will be sleeping with me tonight?” Alcina asked as they stared at her bed with sparkly eyes. “Unless you want to return to Bela’s room, that is.”
The mere thought of abandoning their mother’s warm bedroom to venture into the castle’s cold, lonely hallways made them shiver. They shook their heads effusively and waited for her to lay on the middle of the large bed.
“I was just joking, my darlings.”
“Not funny at all,” Daniela grumbled with a pout, climbing all the way up to their mother’s left side. She immediately curled up under her arm, borrowing her warmth and purring happily. Her lips curved into a small smile. “Now this is much, much better.”
Cassandra and Bela shared a pointed look for a brief moment before making their way toward Alcina’s bed, occupying her right side. Bela snuggled next to their mother whilst Cassandra hugged her from behind, breathing in the soothing scent of her sister’s shampoo and conditioner.
“Are you feeling any better now, girls?” Alcina asked, resting her hands on Daniela’s and Cassandra’s heads. Her claws scratched their scalps gently, eliciting satisfied purrs from them. The brunette felt Bela’s body going limp in her arms.
And she’s out… again.
Daniela smiled while Cassandra nodded. “Yes, thank you, Mother.”
Cassandra closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of Bela’s lavender shampoo again.
Maybe the flowers aren’t dead just yet.
As she drifted off into a dreamless slumber, she heard their mother whisper,
“Anything for you, my little loves.”