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"You are my destination, and as your shelter
I will be the one to rescue you."
-Tadhana, Up Dharma Down
\\
When Laura applied for her internship months ago, she only considered the hospitals near her apartment. The work itself is already a hefty list and she doesn’t want to add commuting long distances to said list. That’s why when she got accepted at Bridgeport Hospital, which is just a short walk from her place, she quickly seized the opportunity.
No need to rush in the morning, she said to herself.
Well, except now.
Laura runs through the sterile white halls of the hospital. A quick glance at her watch shows 8:56am. Shit, her shift starts at 9:00am. Laura runs faster to the directions of the elevators, dodging patients and doctors. She didn’t mean to oversleep, but there was a Harry Potter movie on HBO last night and turns out it was a marathon and she may have watched it all until the wee hours of the morning.
She skidded to a stop in front of the elevator and quickly presses the up button.
8:58am
She presses the button again. And again, and again, almost breaking her finger in the process. When the door slides open Laura quickly shuffles in and presses the 8th floor button. She prays to every existing god that she knows to have mercy on her and to not make it stop at every floor.
A minute later the elevator stops at the eighth floor and Laura jumps out as soon as the door opens. She runs to the left and turns quickly to the giant glass doors of the Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation Department. Laura makes her way to the front desk and lets out a sigh of relief because the head therapist, LaFontaine, isn’t there yet.
"Hey." She greets Danny, another intern, as she puts her bag down under the desk.
"Hey, you look like a mess." Danny greets her back, not taking her eyes of the phone.
Laura runs a hand through her hair and puts it in a quick ponytail. "Where’s Lafontaine?"
"Just went to the canteen real quick." Danny replies, her eyes still glued to her phone.
"Who are you texting?"
Danny finally tears her eyes away from her phone and grins at Laura. "You remember Kirsch?"
Laura raises her eyebrows. "Kirsch?"
"Yeah, tall guy who plays football. Was here yesterday?"
"Ohhh." Laura remembers now. Kirsch is this tall quarterback who calls Laura little nurse hottie even though she explained to him that she’s not a nurse but a therapist. And he reminds her of a golden retriever, she doesn’t know why, must be the eyes. Kirsch sprained his ankle during a game and has been taking therapy for the past weeks and it was his last day yesterday.
"Wait," Laura narrows her eyes at Danny. "Are you guys seeing each other?"
Danny's face turns into a deep shade of red. "No! Just, erm, getting to know each other! You know, since he's still staying at home he's bored so he gave me his number. So you know, we could catch up.. And stuff.."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Danny."
Danny opens her mouth to reply but is cut off when LaFontaine enters the room, clipboard in one hand and a paper bag of food in the other.
"Morning Laura, morning Danny. Hey, why is your face all red?"
Danny mutters something about the heat even though the air conditioning in the room is on full blast. Laura stifles a laugh and she walks further in the room, her eyes scan the surroundings. The rehab facility is pretty big. There’s the front desk by the entrance and two sofas across it. Behind the front desk is Perry’s office, she’s the head of the department so she gets her own space. The rest of the room is full of equipments that are used for the therapy. There are bars in the east corner, the north side is full of mirrors, on the west side are three hospital beds with leather cushions, and in the middle are some 4 step stairs, ramps, a stationary bicycle, and aerobic balls.
The room is surprisingly empty.
"Hey LaF," Laura says making her way back to the desk. "Where's everyone?"
"Betty is sick, she called me this morning. Sarah Jane has the morning off but she'll be here in the afternoon, and Natalie is on leave for a week."
"So it’s just the three of us today?"
LaFontaine opens the drawer and grabs two folders. "Yep, luckily we only have these two for the morning." They put the folders down and check their clipboard. "And one of you is going to have an even luckier morning."
"Why?” Laura and Danny ask in unison.
"Because," LaFontaine says, gesturing to the folders in front of them. "One of these is only going here for an initial checkup. So however gets said patient, will have a free morning. After the checkup, that is."
Laura and Danny look at each other for a second. Then they both lunge forward to the folders, Danny's long limbs gets ahead of Laura and she quickly grabs the folder on top. Laura sighs and grabs the one below, muttering a quick prayer to the gods for the second time this morning.
"Ah fuck," she hears Danny say beside her. "I got Ben." She grumbles, tossing the folder at the desk.
Laura laughs, Ben isn’t bad. Well he isn’t that bad, he's just, a very difficult patient. He loves the 1950's and hates the youth. As much as possible all the other interns avoid him. Laura couldn’t blame them though, who wants to be subjected to three hours of back in my day and you youths are nothing but trouble.
"Well Laura, looks like you’re the lucky one." LaFontaine says with a grin while Danny grumbles profanities under her breath. Laura opens the folder and scans the file, it’s empty since the patient is only going to be diagnosed later. The only blanks that are filled up are the name and age. Carmilla Karnstein, 24 years old.
“What happened to her?” Laura asks.
“She called yesterday. Had a car accident a couple of days ago and now she’s having difficulty walking.”
“Oh my god is she okay?”
“Yeah, she’s really lucky actually. She should be here any minute now.”
The door opens and they all turn towards it. A man in his sixties wearing a green sweater and brown khakis walks into the room and glares at them through his glasses.
“Hello Ben,” LaFontaine greets him with a smile. “Ready for your therapy? Danny here will assist you today.” Danny puts on a fake smile and walks towards him, leading him to the middle of the room as Laura and LaFontaine watches. Danny’s trying to help him in his stretching as he rants to her about the perils of facebooking and twittering.
Laura absent mindedly opens her folder again and her eyes drift to the name. Carmilla Karnstein. Laura traces the name with her fingers, she’s so preoccupied with the paper in front of her that she doesn’t hear the door open again.
“Hello, what can I help you with?” She hears LaFontaine ask.
“I’m here for the checkup?” A low raspy voice says. “I’m Carmilla.”
Laura whips her head so fast that she’s surprised she didn’t break her neck. She looks at the woman in front of her and her jaw drops. Carmilla Karnstein is absolutely, insanely, gorgeous, even with a cut lip and a small bruise on her forehead. She’s wearing black shorts that barely cover anything and knee high socks, leather boots, and a black top. Her curly hair goes just below her collar bone and she has these really high cheekbones, and oh god, her jaw looks like it’s been carved by angels. Laura feels herself staring and she knows it’s rude but she just can’t bring herself to look away. Luckily Carmilla is talking to LaFontaine and Laura takes this chance to stare at her some more.
“Laura.”
LaFontaine’s voice makes Laura jump. She quickly tears her eyes away from Carmilla and looks at LaF.
“This is Carmilla.” They say, gesturing to Carmilla. Laura nods and gives a small wave.
“Hey,” She says, her voice shaking slightly. “I’m Laura. I’m gonna be checking you out.” LaFontaine snorts and her eyes widen with the realization of what she just said. “Oh god. I didn’t- I didn’t mean like that. I mean you came for a checkup, and I’m gonna be giving you the checkup.” Laura clarifies. Carmilla’s just looking at her, lips pulled up in a smirk and Laura’s sure that she’s as red as LaF’s hair right now.
“Well Carmilla,” LaF says. “Laura’s going to be diagnosing you. Once you’re done make your way back here and we’ll talk about your therapy schedule.”
Carmilla nods and Laura gestures to one of the empty beds. “Right this way.” Carmilla walks to the bed and Laura notices that she’s limping. She sits down with a grimace and Laura takes out her pen and opens the folder.
“So how and when did you notice the pain?”
“Are you even qualified to diagnose me, cutie?”
“Excuse me?”
Carmilla shrugs. “Shouldn’t the diagnosis be done by someone, I don’t know, professional?”
Laura let’s out an irritated huff, because what the hell this girl is really rude. “I’ll have you know that even though I’m still an intern I’m qualified enough to diagnose someone.”
“What if you give me the wrong diagnosis?” Carmilla asks, tilting her head to the side.
“I won’t.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes!” Laura snaps. “Now if you’re done questioning my credibility can we please go back to the questions?”
Carmilla smirks again and Laura reads the question.
“How and when did you notice the pain?”
“Probably after my car accident.” Carmilla replies in a bored voice.
Laura nods and writes car accident in her messy handwriting. “Did you feel pain or hear a ‘pop’ when you injured your knee?”
“How would I know I was too busy trying not to get myself killed.”
Laura sighs, Carmilla is being very difficult, she wonders if Danny wouldn’t mind switching with her. She asks Carmilla a few more questions, and she answers half straightly with a bored voice, the other half is answered with sarcastic remarks.
“Okay now lie down.” Laura orders, gesturing to the bed. Carmilla raises her eyebrows.
“Didn’t know you were that kind of girl, sweetie.”
Laura feels the blood rush to her face. “Will you just lie down!” She says exasperatedly, pointing to the bed.
Carmilla lies down and puts her hands on her stomach. Laura puts her hand on Carmilla’s knee and presses gently, making Carmilla flinch.
“Your ligaments are loose.” Laura mumbles, writing it on the folder. “Also,” She observes, pulling down Carmilla’s socks by an inch. “Your knee is really, really swollen.” She pulls the sock up and writes more on Carmilla’s file. “I’m going to perform the posterior Lachman test on your knee.” She hears Carmilla mumble whatever and Laura resists the urge to roll her eyes. Her right hand wraps around Carmilla’s leg, just below the kneecap, while her left hand holds her thigh, above knee cap. Laura feels her breath hitch because wow her skin is really smooth and she suddenly wants to run her hands over it.
Laura grips Carmilla’s thigh and pulls. She feels Carmilla flinch and she repeats the action, Carmilla flinches again and her mouth is set in a straight line.
“Do you even know what you’re doing?”
Laura ignores her. “Does it hurt?”
“No, actually I enjoy it when people pull my swollen knee, whaddaya think?”
Laura writes more on Carmilla’s file. She scans the symptoms that she wrote: swelling, discomfort, pain, difficulty walking, and loose ligaments. She puts her hand on her hip and thinks. Loose ligaments are usually because they’re torn, which can result in the same symptoms that Carmilla’s experiencing.
“LaF!” She calls them, gesturing them to come over. LaF walks towards the pair and Laura hands them the folder. LaFontaine scans the file as Laura explains her diagnosis. “Her posterior cruciate ligament is damaged. I’m not sure what the grade is but it’s definitely loose.”
LaFontaine checks Carmilla’s knee. “It’s a grade two, it’s not torn, just loose. Great job, L. Apply ice and put a brace on it, I’ll get the crutches.”
Laura grabs the ice pack from the mini fridge and heads back to the bed. She presses it gently to Carmilla’s knee, making her jump slightly from the cold. “I’m going to keep this on your knee for a few minutes to help reduce the pain and the swelling. Then I’m going to put a brace which you’re going to keep for a few weeks.”
Carmilla doesn’t answer. Laura looks at her and sees that she’s put on her earphones and isn’t even listening to a word that she said. Laura yanks her earphones away and glares at her. “Seriously?!”
“I was bored.”
“Well if you would just listen to my diagnosis then you wouldn’t be bored.” Laura shoots back.
“I’d rather wait for the real doctor.”
Laura takes a step back. She takes several deep breaths because she is so close to ripping Carmilla’s head off and that would not look good on her record. Carmilla may be gorgeous, but she’s really frickin rude and Laura is getting more and more annoyed with her.
“Okay, Carmilla.” She says calmly. “I’m going to put a brace on your knee and LaFontaine is going to come back with your crutches.” Laura walks over the cabinets behind the front desk and rummages for the braces. There are only two left, one black, and one hot pink. Laura grabs the pink one and grins, Carmilla is being awfully rude so it’s time for a little payback.
She walks back to Carmilla and holds up the brace. Carmilla glares at it, a look of disgust on her face. “Are you fucking serious?”
Laura shrugs. “There wasn’t any left.” She says innocently. She grabs Carmilla’s leg and slides the brace up, lining the hole up with the front of Carmilla’s knee. Laura checks the brace a few times and steps back. Carmilla’s all black persona is now ruined because of a hot pink brace on her knee. Laura couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of it.
“What the hell is so funny?” Carmilla’s glaring at her and Laura shakes her head.
“Fuck you.” She hops off the bed and winces when her feet lands on the floor. She starts limping towards the front desk.
“No wait!” Laura says, she rushes to Carmilla’s side and puts a hand on her elbow, steadying her. “You have to use the crutches!”
Carmilla yanks her arm away and almost falls down. “Piss off, I can walk by myself.”
Laura puts her hand on Carmilla’s arm again, stopping her from taking another step. “I said,” She says in her most stern voice. “You have to use the crutches.”
Carmilla looks at her for a moment, leveling her glare. She yanks her arm again, still glaring at Laura. “No.”
Laura’s face is flushed and her jaw is clenched, the other hand which isn’t holding Carmilla automatically closes into a fist. LaFontaine walks into the room, crutches under their arm. They look back and forth between Laura and Carmilla with a confused expression on their face. “Uhh,” They say, handing the crutches to Laura. “Here are your crutches Carmilla. Laura will teach you how to use it and we’ll see you next week for your first session, yeah?”
“I know how to use them.” Carmilla says, grabbing the crutches and positioning them under her arm.
“I’ll see you next week.” Laura mumbles, looking down at the floor. Carmilla ignores her and starts limping towards the door. LaFontaine opens it and says goodbye, she steps out of the room and they close the door. Laura slams Carmilla’s folder on the table, startling LaFontaine.
“Ugh! Stupid, annoying, asshole!”
“Yo Laura, are you okay?” LaFontaine asks, concern etched on their face.
Laura removes her ponytail and runs a hand through her hair. “Yeah, just pissed.”
“She seems nice.”
“Nice?” Laura snorts. “She is the most annoying girl I’ve met.”
LaFontaine nudges her shoulder and holds out a pack of cookies. “Hey, think of it this way.” They say as Laura grabs several cookies. “At least you’re kinda done for the day, unlike Danny.” Their gazes both drift to Danny who is now helping Ben walk around the room, a look of utter annoyance on her face.
“Yeah.” Laura replies, nibbling on a cookie.
She hopes that Betty gets assigned to Carmilla because Betty is a bitch, even bitchier than Carmilla, and Laura wants to see Carmilla have a taste of her own medicine.
\\
Laura sips her coffee as she glances at the clock. Carmilla’s due to arrive any minute now and all the other interns are busy, which means that she’ll get stuck with her again. Seriously, Laura would rather do calculus or memorize one million digits of Pi rather than treat Carmilla.
“Hey,” Danny says, plopping down at the seat next to her. She grabs her phone and shoots a quick text to Kirsch, probably. They’ve been talking nonstop for the past week, and he even stopped by the other day. But they’re just friends according to Danny. Whatever.
“Are you done?” Laura asks hopefully. If Carmilla comes in right now then Danny will be the one to assist her and Laura won’t have to put up with three hours of her bitching.
“Yes, but I took the rest of the day off.” Danny answers as she gathers up her things in her bag.
“What! Why?” Laura starts to panic. Danny can’t go. Danny has to be the one stuck in assisting Carmilla, or Betty, or SJ, or even Perry, anyone but her.
“Sorry, L.” Danny glances to her right and sees Betty walking towards them. “Okay Betty’s coming so I really gotta go. Bye!” She grabs her bag and bolts out of the room, leaving Laura alone at the front desk.
Betty sits down in the seat that Danny vacated. “Where the hell is she going?”
Laura shrugs. She was 99 percent sure that Danny went off to meet Kirsch, but there’s no way in hell that she’s telling Betty that. Things are already weird between Danny and Betty because they dated in the past and suddenly they were assigned to the same hospital. No need to add oh your ex might also be seeing someone new, did I mention that he was also her patient? Cool huh.
“Are you done?” Laura asks Betty, hope in her voice. Betty shakes her head. “No, I still have these two.” She says, gesturing to two folders in front of her. Laura looks at the one folder in front of her, the one that says Carmilla Karnstein on it.
“Wanna switch?”
Betty raises an eyebrow at her. She grabs the folder in front of Laura and reads it. “Hm, Karnstein, 24, PLC injury, accident, blah blah.” She slams the folder shut and looks at Laura. “Okay, spill.”
Laura frowns. “Spill what?”
“Don’t play coy with me Hollis. Who’s this Karnstein and what’s the deal?”
“Nothing!” Laura answers defensively. “Why would you think that there’s something?”
Betty rolls her eyes. “Oh please, Laura you like everyone. And everyone likes you. So why, why are you avoiding this Karnstein?”
“Because she’s annoying. She’s rude, and she doesn’t respect me.” And there’s also the fact that she looks like a goddess and it distracts Laura, but Betty doesn’t need to know that. She crosses her arms over her chest and looks down. Just thinking about Carmilla makes her blood boil, maybe she should start taking up yoga.
As if on cue the door opens, Laura keeps her eyes down and Betty stands up. “Hi,” She hears Betty say. “Name please?”
“Karnstein.” A familiar raspy voice says. Laura tries to keep her eyes down. Don’t look, maybe if I ignore her she’ll go away.
“Here,” Betty sets down the log book in front of Carmilla. “Just log in and we can get started.” Carmilla bends down and starts writing. Laura lifts her head a little and takes a peek.
Bad idea.
Carmilla looks just as gorgeous as ever and Laura gulps. It’s unfair, really, no one should be allowed to look that good. She has her face scrunched up and it’s kinda adorable, she’s writing with her left hand and Laura feels herself staring again.
Betty clears her throat and Laura jumps a little. She turns her head and glares at Betty who gives her a smug grin. No! Laura screams internally. Now Betty will think that she has a crush on her patient. Carmilla straightens up and closes the log book.
“Thanks,” Betty says, the smirk still present on her face. “Laura will take care of you now.”
Laura stands up slowly. “Well come on then.” She says, gesturing to the same bed they used last week. She shoots one last glare to Betty and begrudgingly makes her way to the bed, Carmilla trailing behind her with her crutches.
Carmilla hoists herself up the bed. Laura picks up her crutches and sets them against the wall. She opens the folder and checks the scheduled activity for today. Quadriceps sets, straight leg raises, and open chain knee extension against gravity.
“So we’ll start with quadriceps sets. Our goal today is to restore your normal knee extension and your leg control.”
Carmilla doesn’t answer.
Laura glances up from the folder and lets out an exasperated sigh. Carmilla has her earphones on again and she’s fiddling with her phone. Laura yanks the ear buds out and glares at Carmilla who just gives her a smirk.
“That bunched up face you do when you’re angry is hilarious, buttercup.”
“Okay, that’s it.” Laura says angrily. “Once you are in this room you are not allowed to put your earphones on. Are we clear?”
Carmilla just shrugs. “I’ll try.”
Laura grabs the earphones before Carmilla could put them back and she puts it on the pocket of her scrubs.
“What the fuck?!” Carmilla looks pissed. Well serves her stupid gorgeous face right.
“That bunched up face you do when you’re angry is hilarious, buttercup.” Laura imitates her, narrowing her eyes and dropping her voice an octave lower.
Carmilla flips her off and Laura grabs a towel by the end of the bed. She puts it under Carmilla’s left knee. “The sooner we finish the sooner you can get of my hair.”
“What I want you to do is to tighten the muscles on top of your thigh by pressing the back of your knee flat down to the mattress. Try to hold it for at least three seconds, if you can go for six.”
Carmilla presses down her knee and grunts. Laura’s mouth suddenly goes dry as she watches Carmilla’s muscles tighten. She focuses on the mattress and tries not to look as Carmilla flexes her thigh. Laura mentally goes through the internship contract in her head, trying to remember if ogling patients was against the rule. Carmilla clears her throat and Laura looks at her.
“Aren’t you supposed to be counting?”
Laura straightens up and fixes her gaze at the wall behind Carmilla’s head. “Of course, go on. I’ll count.” She replies meekly, not taking her eyes of the concrete.
Carmilla clears her throat again.
“What?” She snaps, looking down at Carmilla.
“Shouldn’t you be observing my knee?”
Laura huffs. She looks down at Carmilla’s knee and gestures for her to continue. Carmilla tightens her muscles again and Laura starts counting. She focuses on counting and not at Carmilla’s thigh in front of her. She gets to five when Carmilla lets out a huff and falls back on the bed. That was the longest five seconds that Laura has ever experienced.
“Did it hurt?” Laura asks, checking the knee for any more swelling.
“Like a bitch.”
Laura frowns. “Carmilla if it hurts so much don’t force yourself.”
Carmilla puts a hand over her chest. “Aww, feeling concerned for me already? How sweet.”
Laura resists hitting her with the crutch.
\\
They manage to finish the rest of the exercises without arguing. Carmilla is surprisingly a tolerable person when she’s not being a bitch.
“Okay,” Laura says as Carmilla gets ready to leave. “Next week we’ll try stretching and some gait drills.”
Carmilla mumbles okay under her breathe and takes a step back. Her knee suddenly gives up and it sends her tumbling backwards.
“Shit!” Laura lunges forward and wraps her arm around Carmilla’s waist and Carmilla automatically grabs her wrist. After a few seconds her breathing stops for the nth time today because holy cow Carmilla is so close she could smell her perfume and see the golden flecks in her brown eyes. Her cheeks flush red as she also realizes the position they’re in. She’s bending forward and she has her arm around Carmilla who’s bending backwards, holding her wrist. They look like they were dancing and she dipped Carmilla. She slowly looks at Carmilla who’s gazing at her with an unreadable expression on her face. She’s literally so close that Laura could count her long, thick, lashes.
“Hey.” Laura says, not taking her eyes of Carmilla.
“Hey.”
“Wow, when’s the wedding?” Betty’s voice brings Laura back to reality. She straightens her back, keeping her arm around Carmilla. She hands Carmilla her crutches and looks at anywhere but her face.
“Are you okay?” Laura asks, focusing her eyes on Carmilla’s boots.
Carmilla chuckles. “You’re so small. How the hell did you carry me?”
It takes a moment for Laura to answer because Carmilla actually laughed and it’s a really beautiful sound. “Uhm. Krav Maga?” She replies lamely.
Carmilla snorts. “I underestimated you.”
Laura doesn’t say anything. Carmilla starts making her way to the door and Laura rushes to her side, her hand hovering awkwardly behind Carmilla in case she falls again. Not that she’d want her to fall so she could catch her again, that’s unprofessional. When they reach the front desk Betty suddenly becomes very engrossed in the folder she’s reading.
LaFontaine smiles at Carmilla. “How’s Laura treating you Carmilla? She alright?”
Carmilla chuckles again and Laura bites her lip to stop herself from smiling. “She’s alright.” Carmilla says, casting Laura a smirk. “When she’s not having a temper tantrum.”
“I do not have temper tantrums.” Laura says, glaring at Carmilla.
“Whatever you say, creampuff.”
As soon as Carmilla is out of the room LaFontaine turns to Laura. “Laura you know you have to be nice to the patients. I mean I get that you don’t like her-” Betty suddenly snorts and the two of them look at her.
“What do you mean Laura doesn’t like her she was practically on top of her a few minutes ago!”
“That was an accident.” Laura quickly answers back. “She fell and I caught her. No big deal.”
“Yeah?” Betty asks, crossing her arms over her chest. “Well how do you explain the fact that your face turns red as a tomato whenever she’s around?”
“I don’t- it’s not! It’s because of the heat okay!” Laura exclaims, using the same lame excuse that Danny used last week.
“What is with all the shouting?” Perry suddenly pops her head out of her office door.
“It was me,” Laura stammers, fixing Perry with an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, won’t happen again.”
Perry nods. “Thank you. LaFontaine, a moment please?”
LaF nods and turns to Laura. “Now Laura, be nice okay?” They make their way to Perry’s office, shutting the door behind them.
Laura sits down on the seat next to Betty. She doesn’t like Carmilla. She would never like Carmilla. Carmilla is a rude, disrespectful jerk.
A rude, disrespectful jerk who has brown eyes that glint like topaz, really high cheekbones, and a pretty laugh.
Laura groans and rests her head on top of the desk.
She does not like Carmilla.
Not one bit.
\\
"So did you watch the new episode of Masterchef yesterday?"
Laura grunts a no as she scrolls through her tumblr dash. Betty's lounging on her couch, feet up the coffee table, flipping through the channels.
It's been a while since Betty went to her place and Laura realizes that she's missed the other girl’s company. The two met when they became roommates during their freshmen year in college. During their second year, Betty rented an off housing apartment with Danny while Laura went with a solo dorm. Now on their third year, Laura decided to forgo the dorms and rented a small studio apartment instead. She loved living alone, but sometimes it can get really lonely so she's definitely thankful for Betty's company tonight.
"Who's this guy that Danny's always tweeting?"
Laura opens her twitter in another tab and she sees Danny's account on her feed immediately.
@DannyL: cupcake craving satisfied!! Thank you @KirschTheZeta!
She glances at Betty across the room. Betty’s frowning at her phone and Laura guesses that she's looking at Danny's profile.
"That's Kirsch," Laura says carefully. "The quarterback that used to go to rehab, remember?"
Betty's mouth forms a wide O as she realizes who Kirsch is. "What the hell are they going out now?"
"No, I don’t think so."
Betty's mouth forms a thin line and she glares at her phone. Laura sighs and rests her elbows on the table.
"Why are you upset? You're the one who broke up with her."
"I know, it’s just- it’s weird."
Laura nods and goes back to her tumblr. Relationships are messy and complicated. Well actually anything relating to love is messy and she'd rather not dabble in that business. She doesn’t have any deep grudge against love, Laura just thinks that it’s kinda scary. When you love someone you let them have total control over you. You show them all your fears, and weaknesses, and strengths, making yourself completely vulnerable. It’s like giving them a fully loaded gun and trusting them not to shoot you.
But sometimes they still do.
"Anyway," she hears Betty say. "Look who i found-" Her sentence is cut off when Laura's phone rings. Laura picks it up and glances at the screen.
Dad
She sighs and debates on letting it go to voice mail. After three more rings she stands up and heads to the door, giving Betty an I’ll be back look. She steps out the room and presses the green answer button.
"Hey Dad."
"Hey honey," Her dad says and she could hear the TV in the background. "You busy?"
Laura leans at the door, her back hitting the cold wood. "Not really. Why?"
"Just checking on you. How's the internship?"
"It’s good. We have a lot of patients and it can get really busy, but it’s okay."
"Great to hear that Laur. So, when are you coming to visit? You do have the weekends off right."
"I miss you too dad, but I don’t really have time right now. Maybe in a few weeks?"
"Laura," Her dad's voice takes on a stern tone. "Are you still doing that writing gig?"
"Yes dad, I’m still writing part time." Laura braces herself for the lecture.
"Honey I told you to stop with the writing. You’ll get distracted with your priorities. And what are your priorities again?"
"Get into med school." Laura answers in a monotone voice. She doesn’t even try to sound convincing anymore.
"Yes, get into med school." Her dad says proudly. "And how are you going to get into med school if you keep on getting distracted with the writing?"
Laura grits her teeth. "Dad, I need to pay my rent somehow."
She hears her father sigh at the other end of the line. "Well if you’d just let me send you money-"
"Dad please. My tuition is already expensive enough, at least let me pay for this one thing. I promise I’m not getting distracted."
Her dad doesn’t answer and Laura counts up to five before he speaks again.
"Alright, but remember. Priorities."
"Yeah, listen dad, I gotta go."
"Okay honey bye-"
Laura ends the call and leans back, her head hitting the wood. After a few seconds she turns around and opens the door. She enters her room and finds Betty at the same spot she’s left her.
"Who was that?"
"My dad." Laura grumbles as she tosses her phone at the table. She sits back down in front of her laptop and absent mindedly clicks around.
"Making sure you haven’t shifted to journalism yet?"
"Yeah. What’s new?"
Betty nods and turns her attention back at the screen. Laura clicks around her different tabs, her blank word document in the background. She was supposed to write her article, but her dad’s call suddenly drained all her energy.
"Anyway, you'll never guess whose twitter I found." Betty says in a sing song voice.
Laura furrows her brows and looks at her. "Who?"
Betty smiles smugly at her. "Carmilla Karnstein."
Laura narrows her eyes at Betty. "Is that even allowed? I’m pretty sure there’s a rule about stalking patients."
"Whatever," Betty shrugs. "Her twitter is private anyway."
“Good.”
“She only follows like ten people what the hell. And her profile picture is a cat.”
Laura groans and glares at Betty. “Please tell me you didn’t send a follow request.”
“Don’t worry I didn’t.”
“Good.”
“I’m actually waiting for you to do it.”
“I’m not gonna follow her!” Laura hisses, looking down at her nails. “That’s weird. I don’t even like her!”
She’s not looking at Betty but she knows that the other girl just rolled her eyes.
\\
It’s 12:00am and she still hasn’t started on her article.
The article is due in four weeks and Laura has a lot of time to do it. But she doesn’t like to cram, she likes to immediately start writing, not leaving the room until the first draft is done and sent to her boss. It usually goes that way.
Until now.
Her boss had given her the ultimate freedom for her next project. This next one is your ultimate work of art L, he said. I’m giving you the freedom to write about ANY topic you want. The only catch is, it has to be connected to yourself. Go crazy, kid.
And she is literally going crazy right now. It’s easy to pick a topic, but something connected to her? Should she write about school? Her favorite band? Her childhood house? Her sexuality?
Laura groans and rolls over, burying her face in the pillow.
Maybe she should write about annoying asshole patients at her internship.
\\
Laura hears Carmilla sigh loudly for the fifth time. They’re sitting in the middle of the room next to each other and she was supposed to be watching her stretch, but instead Laura spent the last hour staring at the wall as if it holds the answer to all her problems. Laura turns to her right and looks at her.
“What?”
“I’m confused, cupcake. It’s already been an hour and you’ve not commented on my behavior yet. I think it’s a new record.”
She ignores her and resumes what she was doing, the wall was better company than Carmilla, it didn’t judge her and she’s really not in the mood for the other girl’s snarkiness today. A few seconds passed and she hears another loud sigh.
“Okay,” Carmilla shuffles closer to her. “I’m probably going to regret this, but what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Laura grumbles. “You wouldn’t care anyway.”
“Try me.”
Laura sighs. Maybe spilling her problems to a gorgeous rude stranger is a better way to pass the time than stare off into space.
“I like to write.”
Carmilla raises her eyebrows but doesn’t say anything.
“I mean, like I love it, I’m really good at it. When I was eight I wanted to be a journalist.”
“So why aren’t you?”
“My dad.”
“Ahh.” Carmilla adjusts her position, putting her feet in front of her, she starts stretching her leg.
“He wants me to go to med school.”
Carmilla glances at her. “Do you want to go to med school?”
Laura doesn’t answer. Does she? Three years ago she wants to be a doctor, because that’s what her dad wanted. She never really thought about what she wants, as long as her dad is happy, that’s the important thing, right? “I don’t know. And it doesn’t matter anyway.”
Carmilla frowns. “Of course it matters. You’re the one who’s studying.”
“No it doesn’t.” Laura shakes her head. “I mean, I don’t really have a choice. He’s set on making me go to med school. I love my dad, I really do. But sometimes he’s just so difficult. I can make decisions for myself. I-I’m not his little girl anymore.” The last sentence hitches and Laura bites her lip. She is not going to cry in front of Carmilla.
“I’m sorry.” Carmilla puts her hand on Laura’s knee and she almost jumps from the tenderness of the action. Carmilla is actually really kind and Laura realizes that she’s very easy to like, once you get through the layers of sarcasm and insults.
Laura smiles sadly at her. “Thanks.”
“What are friends for?”
Laura doesn’t stop the grin that spreads across her face. “We’re friends?”
Carmilla rolls her eyes and smiles a little. “Well I let you probe my knee every week, and I don’t just let anyone do that. Miss Hollis you’re pretty special.”
Laura knows that she’s smiling like an idiot, but she doesn’t care. “Don’t think flattery will get you excused from your exercises, Carmilla.”
“Just thought I’d try.” Carmilla replies teasingly. She continues her stretching and Laura counts as she unconsciously shuffles closer to Carmilla.
\\
“You’re recovering really fast Carmilla. You could actually leave the crutches now.” LaFontaine says as they examine Carmilla’s knee.
“What can I say,” Carmilla drawls, her eyes drifting to Laura. “I have a pretty good nurse.”
Laura’s face blushes and she hears Betty snort behind her. She pretends to fix the folders at the desk while trying to stop herself from smiling like a dork.
LaFontaine stands up and walks Carmilla to the door. She throws a see you later, cutie to Laura as she passes the desk. Laura nods in response, watching Carmilla’s leave. LaF closes the door and they walk towards Perry’s office. As they pass by Laura they wink at her and say something that sounds like crushes on physical therapy patients. Betty laughs and Laura’s just thankful that they at least waited for Carmilla to leave before they started the teasing.
\\
"Hey," Carmilla greets her as she walks to the desk. The crutches were gone but she's still wearing the pink brace. Laura grins at the sight of it and Carmilla just rolls her eyes.
“Quadriceps or the stationary bike today, you pick.” Laura says as she grabs Carmilla’s folder.
Carmilla puts her hand under her chin and pretends to think. “As much as I enjoy you ogling my thighs-“ Laura smacks her on the arm. “I want to try something different today.”
“Bike is it then.”
\\
"You’re doing that bunched up face again." Carmilla comments as she pedals.
Laura is standing next to her with her arms crossed over her chest. She glares at Carmilla and sticks her tongue out.
"Hey, didn’t your mother teach you that it’s rude to do that."
"My mom is dead."
Carmilla’s face falls, she pedals slowly. "Oh. Oh god Laura, I’m so sorry."
Laura shrugs and her heart skips a beat, it’s the first time that Carmilla has called her by her name, and she realizes she likes the way it sounds in her low, raspy voice. She nudges Carmilla’s shoulder with her own. "Don’t be. You didn’t know, and it was a long time ago."
"Grief is the price we pay for love." Carmilla says wistfully, a far off look in her eyes.
Laura furrows her brows. “You sound like you also lost someone.”
"My mother is also dead." Carmilla answers casually as if she’s discussing something simple like the weather.
"Oh. Sorry to hear that." Because what else can Laura say to her.
Carmilla chuckles. "Don’t be," she says hollowly. "She was a bitch anyway."
Laura looks at her, confusion laced in her features. Carmilla puts her hands back on the handle bars and starts pedaling again, this time at a slower pace.
"I grew up without a father. I never met him, I never even knew what he looked like. But I think I looked a lot like him because every time mother would look at me, all she sees is him." Carmilla takes a deep breath and Laura thinks she's about to cry.
"Anyway, it’s a typical movie plot. Dad leaves, kid looks like dad, makes mother angry, she beats kid for it."
"Why didn’t you leave?" If Carmilla’s mother abused her surely she could’ve called child services or something.
"I couldn’t- if i did, they'd separate me from my brother."
"You have a brother?"
"Yeah, Will. He's also dead. Got stabbed in an alley by a drunken asshole five years ago."
"Oh. I’m sorry, again." Laura didn’t know what to say. Carmilla has one hell of a past, and Laura suddenly understands why she's like that, closed and rude, because anger is easier to handle than grief. She has these baggages that she carries all by herself and it makes Laura angry, because Carmilla doesn’t deserve all these shit that’s happened to her.
Laura looks at Carmilla whose gaze is fixed on the handlebars. "Tell me more about Will."
“What about him?” Carmilla says so quietly that Laura almost doesn’t hear her.
"What does he like? Dislikes? Favorite food? Those kinds of stuff. Do you look alike?"
Carmilla laughs a little at Laura’s sudden flow of questions. "He's a year younger than me. Yeah, we both have the same shade of hair, and the same nose, we were always mistaken as twins."
Laura puts her hand on Carmilla’s shoulder. Carmilla flinches slightly from the contact but doesn’t shrug her off.
"He liked to draw, was pretty damn good at it too. He loved Pop Tarts. His favorite flavor is smores- no wait- it was strawberry I think?" Carmilla pinches the bridge of her nose and takes a deep breath. "God. I can’t even remember. What kind of sister am I?"
"Hey," Laura coos softly, she could feel her heart breaking for the girl in front of her. "Carmilla, don’t beat yourself up. He wouldn’t want to see you like this.”
Carmilla looks at her, lips pursed and eyes wide. “Yeah,” She whispers. “You’re right.” She looks so small, even though she’s taller than her, and Laura just wants to wrap her arms around Carmilla until all her problems go away. But the world doesn’t work like that, Laura learned a long time ago.
“I’m sorry.”
Laura furrows her brows. “For what?”
“I should be the one comforting you.”
“We all need comfort sometimes, Carm. We can’t always be the strong one.” Laura bites her lip. She glances around the room and sees that everyone else is busy and nobody is paying attention to them. "Are you tired?"
"Exhausted."
"Wanna get out of here?"
Carmilla looks at her with an amused expression on her face. "Miss Hollis are you asking me to ditch my therapy?" Laura rolls her eyes and gestures Carmilla to follow her. Carmilla climbs off the bike and limps next to her. "You’re almost done anyway. We’ll just go back before your session ends." They walk out the room and Laura goes straight to the elevators, Carmilla trailing behind her.
"Where are we going?"
Laura presses the down button. "The canteen. I really need cookies, and you need some too. Cookies fix everything."
Carmilla snorts. "You’re making me eat hospital food on the first date? You’re such a romantic."
"Hey! There’s some really good food in there." Laura says, glaring at Carmilla. "And this is not a date!" She quickly adds, her face turning red as a tomato.
"Sure cutie.” Carmilla winks at her. “Who knew that my sob story would be the key to getting out of therapy?"
Laura looks at her and gently punches her in the arm. “Thank you for that, for the opening up stuff.”
“Not a big deal.” Carmilla mutters as she shrugs and looks down the floor. Laura smiles because she knows that it is a big deal because it means that Carmilla trusts her, and that thought makes her stomach flutter.
\\
“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Laura says, observing Carmilla’s not fully healed lip. “How did you get in a car accident?”
Carmilla shrugs, she eats a cookie in one bite and takes a sip of water. “It was nothing serious, I just hit a post. I was actually more pissed than hurt.”
“How the heck did you hit a post?”
“I was applying my eyeliner and I didn’t see.”
Laura sighs loudly. “Of course you were.”
\\
She watches as LaFontaine removes Carmilla’s brace, a million thoughts running through her head. Carmilla literally had been abused for years, and the only family she cares for died. She’s been through so much and her pain is deeper than the ocean, drowning her and filling her lungs to the point that she can’t breathe.
Carmilla doesn’t deserve to drown.
Laura wants to save her.
Laura is going to save her.
That’s what friends are for, right?
\\
Danny suddenly stops Laura as she was about to go to the bathroom.
"I’ve been hearing things" Danny says with a smirk.
Laura sighs. She wouldn’t be surprised if the whole hospital knew Carmilla’s name by now.
"Whatever Betty told you, it’s not true."
"So it isn’t true that you went to the canteen the other day with your patient?"
"Erm."
"That’s what I thought."
"Wait," Laura’s eyes widen. "You’ve been talking to Betty!"
Danny rolls her eyes. "Don’t change the subject, Hollis."
Laura grins, she knows that it’s impossible to for them to get back together. But if they’re talking then they’re a step closer to being friends, and maybe Laura can hang out with the two of them again without it ending in a shouting match.
Danny clears her throat. "Anyway, why didn’t you tell me about your crush?"
"She’s not my crush!" Laura says defensively, putting her hands on her hips. Seriously, Betty and LaF keeps on dropping the G word ever since they went to the canteen. It’s not like they slept together for gods sakes, they just ate cookies.
Danny raises her eyebrow at her.
"I’m serious, Danny. You know Betty, she likes to exaggerate stuff."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Laura."
"Ugh!" Laura moves past Danny and marches to the bathroom. Maybe it was actually better when Danny and Betty were ignoring each other.
\\
It’s a bad day for Laura.
Her dad called again last night, still making sure that she has her priorities straight. She loves him but he’s really starting to get on her nerves. She’s not a kid that needs to be checked up on.
“Bad day?”
Laura jumps in her seat and looks at Carmilla.
“Yeah. Bike or stretching?”
“Stretching.”
They walk in the middle of the room and sit down across from each other. Carmilla immediately starts stretching and Laura counts. After two reps, Carmilla fixes her gaze on Laura.
“What’s with you?”
Laura sighs. Carmilla has this weird trait where she can sense if Laura’s in a bad mood, or maybe it’s just really obvious because Laura looks like a kid who just discovered that Santa isn’t real.
“Dad problems?”
Laura doesn’t answer, Carmilla takes this as a confirmation.
“Well if you just told him-“
“I can’t.” Laura says. “He’s not going to be happy. It’s going to literally break his heart.”
“But you’re the one who’s not happy.” Carmilla points out.
Laura smiles sadly at her. “That’s life, I guess.”
“Doesn’t have to be like that, cupcake.”
“Easy for you to say, you don’t have anyone-“ Laura quickly stops as she realizes what she’s said. “Oh god, Carm, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean it.”
Too late.
Carmilla’s jaw clenches and her eyes go dark.
“Carm-“ Laura reaches out for her.
“No,” Carmilla’s voice is icy and it makes Laura drop her hand to the side. “You’re right. Who am I to give you advice, I mean since I don’t have anyone to tell me what to do since my entire family is dead.”
“Carm, that’s not what I meant.” Laura pleads, her voice shaking. She curses herself and her inability to keep her mouth shut.
“Whatever.” Carmilla grumbles as she stands up. She stalks off the room leaving Laura in the middle of the floor.
Laura smacks herself on the head as she feels her eyes water. Her chest heaves as she tries to hold back her sobs. Oh god, what did she just do? Carmilla opened up to her and trusted her, and she just fucked up. What if she doesn’t come back? Her knee is almost healed and she could actually continue her exercises at home. She doesn’t even know where Carmilla lives, or her number, Carmilla could literally walk out of her life as if they’d never known each other.
The thought of never seeing Carmilla again just makes her eyes water more.
\\
Her screen lights up as a new email pops up. Laura tears her eyes away from the crack on her wall that she’s been staring for the past hour. Above the email of her boss, reminding her that her article is due in two weeks (which she ignored) is an email from her school.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Academic term enrollment
Greetings students!
A new school year is starting in three weeks and the administration would like to remind the students about the deadlines in enrollment…
Laura scans the rest of the email. She’s read the same email a hundred times in the past three years that she’s almost memorized it, the only thing that changes are the dates.
For shifting students deadlines are as follows:…
Laura freezes. She reads the paragraph stating the deadlines and requirements for shifting students. The deadline is next week, a week earlier than the regular students. It’s a fairly easy process; all she needs is her transcript, three copies of the shifting form complete with parent’s signature, and a photocopy of her dad’s ID. Laura slams her laptop shut before she could get any more ideas.
She’s not going to shift. That’s stupid, she’s already on her fourth year this coming school year. She’s going to med school, just like her dad wanted.
She falls asleep convincing herself that she made the right decision.
\\
The door opens and Laura quickly looks. Her face falls when Danny walks in. She’s been waiting for Carmilla to arrive for an hour now, her apology speech (which she practiced in front of the mirror five times and has a copy on her phone) ready to be said.
“Not happy to see me, Hollis?” Danny teases as she sits down on the chair and takes out her phone.
Laura stares at the clock on the wall. She was due to arrive any minute now.
The door opens.
Laura quickly turns again. It’s Betty. The disappointment must be obvious in her face because Betty shares a look with Danny, who just shrugs. Betty sits down next to Danny as Laura paces in front of the front desk. She could feel their eyes burning at her back and she pretends not to notice.
The door opens.
Laura jumps.
It’s LaFontaine.
Laura’s shoulders slump and she’s on the verge of tears now. What if Carmilla never really comes back? She’ll never see her again and just the thought of it makes Laura sick.
“Okay,” Betty suddenly says, startling Laura. “I can’t take this anymore.”
Laura looks at Betty.
“I wasn't going to say anything because she’d probably beat me up if I did, but you like you’re about to cry and lock yourself in your apartment for a week. I know where Carmilla is.”
Laura’s eyes widen and she stares at Betty.
“Your bae is outside, smoking.”
Laura couldn't believe what she just heard. Carmilla’s here? Outside? Wait, she smokes?
“Why the hell is she outside her session started an hour ago! I mean, she can be mad at me fine, then someone else will just treat her. I’m not the only PT here!” Once the realization that Carmilla hasn't left hits Laura, she becomes angry, because really? Not showing up to your session to smoke? Real professional, Carmilla.
“Oh my god, Laura are you really that oblivious?” Danny says as she looks at her disbelievingly.
Laura furrows her brows.
“Oh my god, you have no idea.” Danny laughs and Laura glares at her. “She’s just as whipped as you are.”
“What?”
“You are literally the most oblivious person in the entire planet. The girl comes back even though you fucked up big time. She could literally come back from the dead for you and you still won’t get it.” Danny says with a huff.
“Nah,” Betty disagrees. “I think Carmilla is the most oblivious one. I mean Laura literally looks at her with sex eyes and she still doesn’t notice.”
“Yeah,” Danny argues back. “BUT, Carmilla also looks at Laura the same way, I’m surprised Laura hasn’t melted yet.”
“Okaay.” Laura interjects them before world war three erupts. Carmilla likes her? She fucked up. She fucked up and Carmilla could’ve stayed away from her forever. But she didn’t, because she apparently also feels the same way and the thought of it gives Laura a little glimmer of hope. She looks at LaFontaine, her eyes pleading. “Can I?”
LaFontaine nods. “We have a slow morning today. Go.” Laura squeals and gives them a quick hug. She turns to Danny and Betty.
“Go to her right now before she gives herself lung cancer, Hollis.”
Laura runs out of the room in a dash.
\\
She sees Carmilla as soon as she steps out of the Hospital. Laura stops and catches her breath, she made it out in three minutes flat and her legs feel like jelly. Carmilla’s leaning against a tree on the right side of the building, cigarette butts are littered across her feet. Laura slowly walks towards her. She’s five feet away when Carmilla speaks.
“Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” Carmilla’s voice is colder and raspier than usual.
Laura shrugs. “So do you.”
Carmilla doesn’t answer, she puts the cigarette to her lips and takes a long drag. Laura feels her breath stop because what the heck, she can make something unhealthy like smoking look really hot.
“Listen, Carm, I’m really sorry. What I said was out of the line-no- It wasn’t just that. It was wrong! I’m so wrong, and oh god. I understand if you never want to see me again- I mean I was so stupid, I wasn’t thinking and-“
“Cupcake,” Carmilla interrupts her. She drops the cigarette on the floor and stubs it with her boots. “I get it.”
Laura furrows her brows. “What? “
Carmilla takes two large steps forward and she’s in front of her. Laura suddenly stops breathing because Carmilla is very, very, close and she could smell her.
“People say stupid things when they’re angry.” Carmilla says softly as she slowly grazes the back of her hand against Laura’s cheek.
“Yeah,” Laura whispers, her heart is pounding and the skin that Carmilla’s touched feels like it’s on fire. “I really am sorry.”
Carmilla smiles at her and takes a step back and Laura immediately misses the warmth.
“I’m late for my therapy.” She says with a grin.
Laura smiles and holds out her hand, Carmilla takes it and intertwines their fingers together and they fit perfectly well, like pieces in a puzzle and she feels her heart skip a beat.
Laura doesn’t let go.
And she never wants to.
\\
That night Laura settles down at her chair, laptop in front, hot chocolate at her left. She’s determined to finish this article today even if that means not sleeping. She positions her fingers on top of the keyboard and she begins writing, the words flowing out of her head and into the screen.
According to Lao-Tzu, being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
I was never a courageous girl; I was the one who’s scared of the dark, the one who refuses to go in the haunted house across the street with her friends, and the one who’s always afraid to try something new. I never questioned it, why risk yourself when you can stay on the safe side? As long as I was free from danger, I was happy.
Then I met someone. That person made me realize, am I really happy? Am I doing this because I want to or because I’m forced to? That person made me question every decision that I’ve made in my life. I was confused and angry, why was this person making me realize things that I never thought of before? Who does this person think she is, waltzing in my life and breaking down the walls that I’ve built to protect myself from all the perils of the world. Then it hit me.
This person gave me strength.
But do I have the courage?
Yes.
\\
Laura wakes up to the sound of her phone. She picks it up and sees three texts from her boss. She swipes to unlock it and reads the texts.
3:02am: AMAZING AS USUAL L.
3:03am: Great job, like seriously, I am not paying you enough.
5:00am: Laura,
I’m terribly sorry for the last two texts. Your article was just so fantastic and I got really excited. Anyway, there’s a nationwide journalism contest, it’s pretty big and the cash prize is a huge amount. The deadline is next week and I think you’d be interested. You should submit your article. I’m attaching the details of the contest.
Laura doesn’t think twice, she grabs her laptop and proofreads her article ten times, making sure it was spotless.
She presses the enter button and hopes for the best.
\\
It's Carmilla's last day of therapy today.
When she first came in Laura has been waiting for this day, the day that the rude patient who doesn’t know how to respect other people would leave. But as the weeks flew by, she’s realized that she’d trade anything for just one more day with Carmilla. Yeah Carmilla is still a sarcastic asshole but there are times when she’s really sweet and nice. Like the time she nonchalantly bought hot chocolate for Laura because last week you talked my ear off for three hours complaining that you ran out and I don’t want to hear another word about it anymore. Danny and Betty began singing something that sounded like Laura and Carmilla, sitting in a tree.. and she was too happy to even glare at them.
LaFontaine gives her an apologetic look as comes back from her lunch break.
"Sorry, L" They say, handing her a stack of folders. "We’re short today."
Oh no.
Laura quickly scans the folders, finding the one with her familiar messy handwriting on it, the one that says Karnstein on it, but she’s met with unfamiliar names. Her heart sinks and her shoulders slump as she realizes that she’s not the one who's going to be treating Carmilla on her last day.
Laura makes her way to the desk and sits down. Talk about bad luck.
Betty sits down next to her and begins fixing her things.
"Where are you going?"
"I took the afternoon off."
Laura was about to reply when Carmilla suddenly walks into the room. She walks over the desk and Laura hands her the log book with a frown.
"What’s wrong?"
Laura gestures to the folders in front of her. "Uhm, I’m kinda full today."
Carmillas face falls. "Oh. So you’re not going to be the one to treat me?"
Laura shakes her head. "No, I can’t-"
"Actually she can."
Laura and Carmilla turns to Betty, who’s looking at them innocently.
"These are mine." Betty says, grabbing the stack of folders in front of Laura.
"Wait, betty-" Laura couldn’t let Betty take her load just so she could spend time with Carmilla, especially when she has plans this afternoon, it’s not fair.
Betty fixes her with a stare and Laura closes her mouth. In all the years she’d known Betty, she’s learned not to question anything when Betty has that look. Betty turns her attention to a lady in her sixties who just came in.
"Hi I’m Betty, I’ll be the one assisting you today."
The lady signs in the log book and Laura watches with disbelief as Betty escorts the woman to one of the empty beds. She makes a mental note to buy her friend her favorite pizza after work.
"So," Carmilla says, leaning forward the desk. "What’s on the agenda today?"
"Bike, quadriceps, and hip and core." Laura says in one breath because Carmilla is suddenly close again and she tries to focus on anything rather than Carmilla’s intense stare.
"You didn’t even open the folder."
Yeah she may also have memorized Carmilla’s schedule, for purely professional reasons of course.
"Shut up and get on the damn bike."
\\
Perry is signing the papers that Carmilla needs to so she could be officially discharged from the therapy. Laura and Carmilla are waiting in front of the front desk, their hands intertwined.
“So,” Laura says, ignoring Danny and Betty who are pretending to text in front of them. “Any plans before the summer ends?”
Carmilla shrugs. “I might visit Austria, I haven’t been there for a while.”
“Oh you’ve been there before?”
“I was born there.”
“What? Really?” Laura gapes at Carmilla. “That explains the slight accent.” There are a lot of things that she doesn’t know about Carmilla, Laura realizes. They really need to have a proper conversation that doesn’t include stretching and stationary bikes.
LaFontaine exits Perry’s office and hands Carmilla a stack of papers. “Here you go Carmilla. You’re good to go. Just remember, if you feel even a slight pain or discomfort in the future, come back here.”
Carmilla stands up and shakes their hand. “I will. Thanks.”
“I’ll walk you out.” Laura says, dreading the fact that she will never see Carmilla walk through these doors again.
Carmilla opens the door and Laura steps out. Once they’re at the hallway Carmilla turns to her. “I guess I’ll see you around then.”
Laura nods. “Yeah, I’ll see you around.”
The two of them stare at each other. Carmilla doesn’t make a move to leave and Laura doesn’t want her to. Laura sighs, she tries to memorize every inch of Carmilla’s face because it’s going to be a while before she sees her again. Carmilla must be thinking the same because she’s just looking at Laura with that adoring expression that Laura’s only seen a few times.
Carmilla takes a step back and smiles at her. “Bye.”
Laura nods.
Carmilla turns around and starts walking away. She’s taken about three steps when Laura calls her name.
“Carm! Wait!”
Carmilla turns around and Laura rushes towards her. She stands on her toes and presses a kiss on Carmilla’s cheek by the corner of her lip. Laura’s lips linger for a few seconds until she pulls back. Carmilla gives her a shy smile, ducks her head down and Laura is fairly positive that she’s blushing.
“I should go.”
“Yeah.”
Carmilla walks to the elevators and Laura doesn’t move from her spot. As Carmilla waits for the elevator to open, she turns to Laura and gives her a flying kiss. Laura laughs and pretends to catch it. Carmilla grins and gives her a thumbs up. The elevator opens and Carmilla enters, leaving Laura alone at the empty hallway. She opens the door and steps back in the room, a big smile on her face.
Betty teases her because jeez Hollis, you literally have heart eyes, that girl must be something. Laura doesn’t deny it.
Carmilla really is something.
\\
Laura stares at the screen of her phone. She takes five deep breathes and presses call. After three rings she hears a familiar voice.
“Hey, dad. There’s something I want to tell you.”
\\
“Alright class, just grab your copy of the syllabus and you can go. I’ll see you next week.”
Laura stands up and gathers her things, she makes her way to the front and grabs a syllabus from her professor’s table. She walks out the room and grabs a quick text to Betty.
Where are you? My class is over.
Betty answers two seconds later
Class. Wait.
Laura puts her phone in her pocket and walks out the building. Her eyes drift towards the med building across the quad. It’s surreal, going back to school and not being part of the Department of Medicine and Surgery anymore. When she got her schedule a few days back and saw Department of Arts and Letters, AB Journalism, under her name, she almost fainted. Her dad had not been happy but she thinks he finally realized that that decision is not really for him to make.
She’s still staring at the med building when she suddenly collides with a body, Laura drops her things with a loud oof and staggers a step back.
“Sorry.” She mumbles, bending down to collect the papers from the ground.
“Careful, don’t make me go back to therapy. I don’t want to wear that horrible brace again.”
A familiar raspy voice makes Laura freeze. She slowly lifts her head, her eyes locking with the same brown eyes that’s she’s been dreaming about for the past weeks.
Carmilla is standing in front of her, with her perfect cheekbones and perfect hair, those black boots, and a familiar smirk plastered on her face.
Laura suddenly forgets how to speak, she’s just staring at Carmilla, her mouth wide open. It’s been two weeks since she last saw her and Laura didn’t think it was possible, but she’s gotten even more gorgeous. Carmilla chuckles and bends down, she begins collecting her papers.
“So,” Carmilla says, standing up. She offers her hand to Laura who takes it and hoists herself up. Carmilla glances at the papers in her hand. “Journalism 101, huh?”
“Yeah,” Laura finally finds her voice. “I still have a hard time believing it honestly.”
Carmilla nods and they start walking together. After a moment of silence Laura furrows her brows.
“Wait, do you go here? I’ve never seen you around.”
“No I just like to walk around at random universities in my spare time, hoping to bump into my cute therapist while I’m at it.”
Laura ignores the compliment glares at her.
Carmilla laughs, and it still sounds like angels singing. “I just started, I’m currently taking up my masters.”
“In what?”
“Philosophy.” Of course.
“Congratulations, by the way, for the award.”
Laura blushes. A day after her internship ended, she received an email saying that she had one first place and her article would be featured in the contests blog, and it would be published in several independent writing magazines, along with a very generous cash prize.
“Thanks.” She says shyly. “That’s also another thing I have a hard time believing.. Wait, did you read it?!”
Carmilla rolls her eyes. “Obviously.”
Laura groans and she blushes harder. “Oh god, oh god. I am so embarrassed.”
“Seriously?” Carmilla laughs again and grabs Laura’s hand. “Your article has won an award and has been literally read by famous writers, and you’re embarrassed by me reading it?”
“Well duh it’s about you, of course I would be embarrassed.” Laura mutters, looking at anywhere but her.
Carmilla suddenly stops walking, tugging on Laura’s hand. Laura turns around and looks at her, face still flushed. Carmilla gives her a soft smile and Laura’s stomach does that fluttering thing again. She takes a step closer, their faces only a few inches away and Laura stares because Carmilla’s brown eyes are like gold in the sunlight and it’s the most beautiful thing that she’s seen. They both lean at the same time and when their lips finally touch Laura swears she sees stars. Carmilla’s lips are soft and gentle, and Laura doesn’t know how she’s survived two months without kissing her. Carmilla pulls away after a few seconds and rests her forehead against hers, that soft smile still on her face.
Laura puts her hands on Carmilla’s waist and takes a deep breath. A few weeks ago, she told herself that love is a messy business. It ruins your favorite movies, songs, and places, completely destroying you in the process. And yet, people are addicted to it, like a drug, always looking for it. She didn’t understand why they would make themselves vulnerable for one person if the consequence is just pain and heartbreak.
But looking at Carmilla, whose currently beaming at her like she’s the only person that matters in the whole world, Laura thinks.
Yeah, I get it now.