Work Text:
Hey, baby I just asked your daddy
If I could take your hand
He said, "Boy, over my dead body"
Guess I ain't his kinda man
“Wanna get married?” The question comes out of the blue one night just as Billy is underneath him while he rides his cock like a horse and rather than making him cum, it makes Steve pause, dark eyes peering down at him. “Excuse me?”
“I said-” Billy rolled his eyes as he sat up a little, balancing himself on his arms and not moving his hips from where they sat lined up with Steve’s thighs. “-do you wanna get married, Harrington?”
“That’s kind of a loaded question to say with your dick in my ass, Hardgrove.” “What can I say? I pride myself on being extremely fucked up.”
“I’m well aware.” Steve rolled his eyes in tandem afterwards (an all too familiar reaction) before he just looked down at Billy again. “Do I dare ask where this question is coming from?”
“Maybe it’s coming from my heart for some weird reason, princess.”
“You aren’t usually the type for domestic shit, Bill.”
“Well, I didn’t get this shiner from your Daddy for nothing.”
“What the fuck are you doing visiting my parents? You know they hate me, let alone you.”
“Just wanted to show you I was serious, you know, like all good Christian kids.”
“You’d dance with the devil before you stepped foot in a church.” “Touche.”
But I love you and you love me
So, baby I got a plan
We'll push my truck off of Red Top Bridge
Right below the Jackson Dam
They don’t really get back around to talking about it for the next few days, but the wheels are turning in Steve’s head faster than any hamster wheel on the planet and before long, he’s slamming pamphlets down in front of Billy’s face at his apartment, standing back still in his Family Video uniform as he peers over at them.
“What’s with the papers, Princess? Did you commit a white-collar crime or something?” “I have a plan. For getting married, that is.”
He says it so nonchalantly that it takes Billy a moment to register his words, before his own papers (fucking bills, the government needs to be dismantled for how much tax his broke ass needs to pay) drop from his hands and he's looking up at Steve confused. “Excuse me?”
Hey, they'll be draggin' the river
Catchin' nothin' but an ol' catfish
They'll be draggin' the river
That'll show that son of a bitch
“Look, we both equally hate our parents, so much so that I actually want to do this. Not just because of the fact that I love you and all that soppy crap, but this will really make sure my parents leave me alone and it gives you a good excuse to pull the rug out from your parents and get Max the fuck outta here. I can’t stand seeing that kid with any more bruises.”
“So, what are you proposing we do, oh suddenly endowed with great ideas?” “Hear me out. We do a ruse. A fucking no holds barred, really convincing ruse.”
“I’m listening.”
It's been rainin' for the last two weeks
So the water's up good and high
We'll just wait 'til it's good n' late
So there ain't nobody passin' by
“We take that old truck you’ve been working on the last 3 months in the garage next to your car and instead of taking it to the dump, convince everyone you got it working before we dump it off the Red Top. The water’s up higher than it’s been in almost a decade thanks to the recent rain that’s been pissing down here for the last couple weeks.”
“People know people here, Steve baby. Someone will see us and Hopper will be on our asses by the time it even starts sinking.”
“Well, we’ll wait till it’s late. Dustin should still be awake at midnight.”
“Dustin? You mean that straggler that follows you around like you hung the moon?”
I'll call my cousin
He'll pick us up, take us to the Greyhound Bus
We'll be standin' in front of that preacher
By the time they're lookin' for us
“He’s my friend and you know it, despite being the shortstack he is. He’s part of it. I already talked to him and he’s all in. He’d pick us up in his Dad’s truck and take us to the airport to fly out to Nevada so we can get married and fly back here to Hawkins before anyone notices. Plus, Robin and her family are over in California on vacation, so I’ve asked if she could sneak away and be our witness. We can just say that the car got stolen while we were in the next county grabbing some alcohol that wasn’t here and the rain got so bad we couldn’t contact anyone and had to stay overnight, as storms and even snowfall if we’re lucky are forecast for the rest of the month.”
And they'll be draggin' the river
But they ain't gonna find a thing
They'll be draggin' the river
I'll be wearin' me a diamond ring
Billy had to admit, Steve was wildly creative (and strictly accurate) at details. This could actually work. Somehow, someway, this might actually be able to happen.
The authorities, their parents and their friends alike, would be too panicked and convinced that they’d somehow fallen out of the car and into the dam and the adjoined river that they wouldn’t possibly notice if Dustin snuck them out of town to the airport and back.
Plus, if he could swing it, he might be able to steal his mother’s credit card and buy a set of rings while in Nevada, as he could barely afford his rent, let alone a diamond.
Steve fucking deserved a nice diamond.
I know that it might sound crazy
Just a little bit too extreme
But to get some of your sweet lovin'
Baby, I'd do anything
“It sounds insane-” Billy starts off after a moment of silence once Steve’s finished laying out the details to him in...well, detail. “-but I’m all about insanity after what this fucking town has put me though. When do you want to do it?”
“Next week, somewhere.” Steve doesn’t miss a beat, eyes grinning even if his mouth is only in a small, nervous smirk. “As soon as possible. I think we could swing it. Do you?”
“I fucking do, baby.”
Sooner or later
They'll find my letter sayin' that we're alright
We'll be rockin' at the Red Roof Inn
This time tomorrow night
He didn’t know just how the fuck it happened, but Steve’s plan went off without so much as a breath of something not being right in the world. As predicted, the hunk of shit he’d been working his life away on to get started back up sank like a stone when him and Steven pushed it off the bridge that night, having left skid marks on the bridge before Dustin scooped them up and drove their pre-packed bags and change of clothes to the airport located in the next county over from them, both settling in for the few hours’ flight to Vegas in the relative mind that down below them, people were sleeping easy, unaware of what just occurred.
And they'll be draggin' the river
Sayin', "Lord, what a cryin' shame"
They'll be draggin' the river
We'll be runnin', they'll never see it comin'
As predicted by both, people, both not friends and some of the friends they’d made in that backwater piece of shit town were, subsequently freaked out about two of it’s local resistance missing with their car in the water and mounted a river wide drag and search, the dense forests with their mangroves and mud banks a complete 180 from the bright blinking lights and champagne tinged tongues of Vegas where they and Robin were sharing drinks at some quiet, yet packed small bar away from the casinos, newly purchased gold bands adorning their fingers and their hair covered in confetti and glitter and red from alcohol and laughing, smiling even.
They'll be draggin' the river
They'll be draggin' the river
But they ain't gonna find a thing
As quietly as they left, they returned to town like nothing happened after bidding goodbye to Robin, who would be in the state for the next couple of days before also returning to Hawkins, reacting like the panic left in their disappearance was nothing.
What? Their car was in the river? How? No, they weren’t here. They were caught in that massive storm and had to stay in a hotel for the night. They tried to call both sets of parents, Billy and Steve’s workplaces as well as the police station using the hotel phone, but there was no reception. So sorry for worrying everyone. Must have left the garage unlocked, the lock’s been broken for a while. The apartment was too small anyway, they were thinking about moving in together in the future, but it looks like that’ll have to happen now. Not a big deal.
As they leave the police station hand in hand that night after being interviewed by Hopper (who was understandably concerned given how much of a father figure he’d become over time to Steve and took one look at their hands and said nothing), both just look at the other and smirk before they get in Steve’s car and drive off back to Billy’s apartment.
Too bad they couldn’t have gotten a honeymoon out of this while they were thinking about the whole wedding thing. Oh well, maybe next time they spontaneously disappear. That can always be arranged.