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Chapter Text

Kaz 

Kaz felt the air in his room shift, sensing her presence before he saw her. Carefully, he placed his shears down beside his gloves on the vanity beside the basin before lifting his eyes to meet her steady gaze in the small mirror that hung on the wall.

"Inej", he murmured, holding her gaze. Terrified that in the mere seconds it would take for him to turn and face her, she would disappear into the night like a passing shadow that had never really been there.

"Kaz", she took a tentative step towards him, and only then, when he was certain that she was real and not a ghost or figment of his imagination, did he turn to her.

His eyes scanned her, searching for any injuries. Nothing visible. The sun had darkened her skin. Her usually neatly braided hair was shorter; it hung salt curled to her shoulders. She looked free.

I've missed you. How long will you be here? Why did you come to see me? Do you miss me?

Words sat on his tongue, begging to be said so that he might hear her answers. But he knew he was a coward. And he didn't know what her response would be - it had been a long year of wondering when she might visit him- if she might visit. Now that she was here, standing before him, all he could bring himself to say was, "What business?"

He didn't miss the slight rise of her chest or the furrow of her dark brows, appearing almost annoyed, as if after all this time, this was how he greeted her. He also didn't miss her gaze dropping to his bare chest, his bare hands, only to return to his eyes a mere moment later.

"I can help you" was all she said, her eyes this time going to the shears that lay on the vanity as she took another small step forward.

I can help you. The words carried so much weight. Too much weight. He wondered if she remembered that night in the Ketterdam suite's lavish bathroom. If she ever thought about what might have happened if he hadn't drowned in his own memories, in his own demons. If his lips had been able to make the journey from the juncture between her shoulder and the column of her neck up to her lips. If he'd have stopped there. If she would have wanted him to stop there.

He couldn't stop his eyes as they flicked to that spot, the spot that his lips had touched so briefly. He didn't have any saints to pray to. He didn't believe in her saints. But still, he prayed that she hadn't noticed how his eyes betrayed him. He pushed the images of her, of them, away and nodded, taking a single step to the right allowing her to move silently past him.

He could feel the air hum as she flattened her palms on the counter and effortlessly lifted herself so that she was now seated beside the shears and his gloves. Wordlessly he stepped forward and turned, so his back was facing her, allowing himself the tiniest breath of release, as though just by turning around, he was regaining the smallest sense of composure.

He heard her shift slightly, looking for a suitable position. She was careful not to touch him. He knew how close they were. He could feel the heat of her body warming his back. But he stared ahead, noticing the crows, still perched on the sill outside, freshly fed in front of the window he never locked.

She started cutting his hair. He could feel the tendrils trace down his back as she cut them. He wished they were the tips of her fingers.

"I wanted to say thank you."

"What for?"

"The warning device", the comforting snip of the shears paused. 'This will give you time to evade the izmars'ya. 3-mile radius.' That was all the note had said. Kaz himself had slipped the device and note onto the desk in her cabin when she was last docked at 5th harbour 3 months prior - perhaps he should have been at the Van Eck mansion with Inej, Jasper, and Wylan, listening to her adventures and sipping Kvas, not limping around the shadows, leaving notes scrawled with names and routes for her to find, finding notes she had left in his room and office at the Slat with secrets he might find useful.

She hadn't sought him out in her few brief visits to Ketterdam since she'd become Captain Ghafa. He hadn't sought her out either.

"And the notes," the snipping resumed. As if she had also taken a moment to think about the fact they hadn't seen each other since the morning of her first departure.

Why was she only thanking him now?

"What business?" His voice was sharp, sharper than he had intended, but he couldn't stop himself from turning around to face her. She had left two weeks after he had gifted her 'The Wraith', and she had introduced him to her parents. They hadn't had a moment alone in those two weeks partly because Kaz was a coward and partly because Inej had been busy preparing for her life without him. He had missed her leaving dinner. He had also purposefully not been in his room the night before she set sail- He knew she would climb through his window, just like he knew she would wonder where he was. He was sat in her old room in the slat, on the narrow bed. Alone. Instead, he said his goodbyes, gloves on, as she boarded her ship at dawn.

His eyes found hers as he tried to will himself to say, 'why did you come to see me now?'. Instead, he simply repeated, "What business?"

"I've heard Nikolai, I mean, Sturmhond is looking for a thief", so she did know. He'd often wondered if she also knew the true identity of the famous privateer Stumhond. She continued, "The job is yours if you want it."

It was only then that he realised how close they were. That his leg was pressed against hers.

Inej

Inej felt the tremor run through Kaz. His eyes closed. She could feel him slipping away. She put the shears down and willed herself to still, to shrink back as best she could. But she hadn't been the wraith for quite some time, and there was little space left for her to give him. Instead, she kept talking.

"I've saved 234 children. I count them every night before I go to sleep. I could tell you the names of every single one of them. Where they come from. How they were stolen. Which ones had homes to go back to. It helps. I think. I do think of the Menagerie less. It's their faces that I see in the dark, not the faces of the men who paid for my time." She wasn't making much sense, just speaking words as they came to her. The shaking seemed to be stopping.

"Go on", he whispered. So she continued.

"I haven't told my parents about the years I was gone. I don't have the words to say. I took them back to Ravka on my first voyage. They sailed with me for the full month. They still travel, but I've memorised their route. They thank the saints each night that you brought me back to them." His eyes snapped open. "Did you hear Queen Zoya is Suli? My parents think that she is a gift from the saints. I met her, at the Palace, with Nina. Nina goes by a new name now and is betrothed to the Fjerdan Prince. I wish I could go, but I don't think having a Suli criminal at a Fjerdan wedding would be inconspicuous."

"You're not a criminal anymore, Inej. You're a captain" He hadn't moved his leg. It felt warm against hers.

"If you take this job, I will be a criminal once more" She picked up the shears and motioned for him to turn around again, this time to the side. He did. "The job is to steal the heart of Sankt Feliks" she didn't wait for his next question. "The reward will be diplomatic immunity".

The silence stretched on for what felt like hours, only broken by the steady snip of the shears.

"Other side," she said. He complied—more silence.

"Front, please" She saw him swallow as he turned to face her. He stood a millimetre further back so that this time their legs didn't touch, and he wasn't looking at her. He was staring into the middle distance.

Scheming face, she smiled to herself as she finished cutting his fringe. He still wore his hair shorter on the sides and longer on top. She had always liked it that way.

"I'll need Wylan, Jesper, and Nina at least. Possibly a few more Dregs" a slight pause "and the best spider I can find".

Inej wanted to grab him by the shoulders, shake him and scream, tell me you need me - not the spider, not the wraith, just me. But she didn't. Surely they were beyond this. She knew he cared for her; he had started, just barely, to remove his armour for her. Now they were here—one step forward and three steps back.

"You need me," she said simply. She saw his eyes flash. Did she imagine his gaze dropping to her lips? "Nina can't do it", she continued, "She is too deep in Fjerda to risk it."

He sighed. Inej knew he was thinking about how they had relied so heavily on Nina last time they had done a job together. She knew Kaz hated having to rely on anyone. Besides, Nina could practically speak to the dead. Who else could authenticate the heart once they had found it? Maybe there would be some way to get Nina's help down the line, but she was not an option right now.

"Okay - so we go without Nina. For now. But we need to get Jesper and Wylan to agree. Did Sturmhond provide any leads?"

She knew his relationship with Jesper and Wylan was tense - Jesper had said as much the last time she had visited the Van Eck Mansion. Kaz didn't answer their invitations. He had reverted to his what business questions and Wylan wasn't keen on the criminal element of Kaz's requests, not now that they didn't need it.

"No. But Sturmhond is on his way here to deliver the message in person" He looked puzzled for a second. She knew what his next question would be before he opened his mouth.

"Then why are you here?" Because I can't quite let you go, Kaz.

Kaz

The silence was back. He reached past her, noticing her still as his bare arm brushed the outside of her covered leg, ever so slightly. The water didn't rise. He picked up his gloves, reached for his cane that was resting against the wall beside the basin, turned away from her and limped toward the desk he still kept in his rooms. He mainly used the office downstairs, it used to belong to Per Haskell, and he couldn't quite shake the feeling that it wasn't entirely his yet. He knew he had earned the right to use it, that he was the rightful leader of the Dregs. But still, he kept his desk upstairs as well. The desk up here was covered with an odd combination of important papers and notes that he didn't want wandering eyes to see and long, dull treatises that he would read into the early hours of the morning, willing them to bore him to sleep. He rarely did sleep.

He picked up his discarded shirt from the back of his desk chair. He could feel the tickle of stray hairs on the back of his neck and his chest. He brushed them away, put on his shirt, looking back to Inej as he slowly did up the buttons. Then he put on his gloves. She flinched.

"I'm here because I want to hear what Sturmhond has to say. These are my saints, Kaz - not yours. Besides, I think we both know that Jesper and Wylan will only agree to this if I'm on the crew. And," she paused for effect, "You will need a ship". She slipped from the vanity and was now standing a few feet away from him.

"So you're on the crew?" He knew she had implied that she would be earlier. But he was half hoping that she hadn't really meant it. Kaz wasn't sure he could survive this new wall that he had built between them if they were in close quarters for too long - if he wouldn't just rush towards the stone, moss-covered from the year they had spent apart and grab fistfuls of it, climbing back over it, back to her. He wasn't sure if he could protect her.

"Is that a problem? I am, after all, the best spider" He turned back to his desk, rifling through the papers just so he would have something to do. Why was he acting like this? It had been a long, lonely year. But that was how Kaz liked it. Right? He had expanded operations into 3 new clubs, increased revenue by over 32%. Pekka Rollins hadn't returned, and he had also been growing his revenue in new, less criminal affairs. Pull yourself together, he told himself. It has been a prosperous year with few distractions - without Inej.

But he did need the best spider, and she did have a ship.

"No, it's not a problem."

He heard her cross the room. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her stood by the window. Ready to leave. Again.

"Why didn't you say goodbye to me?" Her voice, quiet, but he knew this sentence would play over and over in his mind tonight. As he lay on his bed, wishing for sleep to take him, all he would hear was the hurt in her voice. In this moment.

"I did say goodbye to you," and he had. A brief nod as he stood and watched her ship depart.

"You know what I mean." Silence. "Never mind."

He knew in a second she would be gone.

"Inej" what are you doing, Kaz? he thought to himself. Be quiet. Let her go. She stilled. "I.." How could he tell her that the reason he had built the walls and put his armour back on was to protect her? As he had stood with Inej and her parents, he shook her papa's hand- without his gloves on. It had taken everything in him not to keel over, but he hadn't. They were talking animatedly in Suli, and Kaz had spotted a young boy watching them. He had dismissed it, that is at least until several minutes later, he had seen Rotty, a high-ranking member of The Black Tips, slip a note to him. He excused himself and followed the young boy down an alley. The message had read, "We hit them through the Wraith". On his arm was a tattoo of five birds - the Razorgulls.

The gangs were forming an alliance to take down Kaz. To take down the Dregs. And they were going to use his Wraith to do it. After this, Kaz had stepped back from her, offering information and allies that he knew would help get Inej out of Ketterdam faster. Away from him. He couldn't be sure if this was a direct result of the fight with Van Eck, the fact that Van Eck had known she was his tell - had he told anyone? Or, they might have simply seen Inej's hand in his own as they stared over 5th harbour. Either way, he wouldn't let the target remain on her back. Not because of him.

"I know you feed the crows." She whispered, her voice cutting through him, sharper than any of her precious blades, "they wouldn't still be here if you didn't. And, for what little it's worth, I'm here because I've missed you." The slightest pause. He remained silent. "But, I meant what I said. Without armour, Kaz Brekker, or not at all."

He watched her slip away and regretted his silence, his cowardice, that he hadn't told her the truth.

Inej

Inej took her time going to the Van Eck Mansion. It was late, but she knew Jesper and Wylan would still be up. She ran along the tiled rooftops, smiling at the familiar sensation of weathered tile against her rubber slippers. She didn't feel as much like a ghost these days. She could still slip by unnoticed. She still stole secrets and used her blades. She was still the wraith. But she felt freer as if every soul she saved from a lifelong indenture blessed her with a peace that she had never felt before. She was glad she had told Kaz the truth of her visit. She sometimes thought she might hate him. But she knew that wasn't true. She didn't hate Kaz. She only hated how much Ketterdam felt like home, how much he felt like home.

She entered through the front door and found Wylan and Jesper tangled up on the striped sofa in the first-floor library. Jesper was reading Wylan poetry. Filthy poetry. Inej held back a laugh as she realised he was changing the lines ever so slightly in a bid to make Wylan blush. It was working. Wylan spotted her first. He coughed and poked Jesper, begging him to stop.

"How is he?" Jesper asked, sitting up as straight as he could manage with Wylan still draped over him.

"The usual"

"He's been like this since you left."

"I don't really want to talk about it, Jes. There's a job coming up. Sturmhond will be in Ketterdam. Tomorrow. Will you join the crew?"

"Sturmhound", Jesper exclaimed excitedly at the exact moment Wylan practically shouted "No". Jesper turned to Wylan, and they spoke in hushed tones, arguing with each other.

"I'll leave you both to it", She murmured and slipped out of the room. She made her way up the grand staircase. Wylan and Jesper kept the same room ready for her each time she visited. She liked that she could expect this, so much of her life was constantly moving and changing, and this was her sanctuary when she visited Ketterdam. It was a far cry from the Slat.

When she opened the door, the first thing she noticed was the curtains, shifting ever so slightly in the wind from her open window. The second thing she noticed was Kaz sitting on the edge of her bed.

"You asked me once what my tell was. Do you remember?"

"Yes, you said your tell is that you are a cripple."

"I lied" Inej shut the door. The room darkened without the light from the hallway. The only light left was the soft glow of the moon through the window.

"You're my tell", He continued. "Van Eck took you because he saw it. He saw that my only real weakness is you. When the sirens quietened, and the Kruge hit our accounts, the Dregs were the only gang with the means to wait out the fear of Plague. I heard that the other gangs had formed an alliance to take the Dregs down- to take me down while Ketterdam stood quiet. They were planning to hit me by hitting you. It would have worked as well" He paused at that last quiet admission. It would have worked. "Do you see Inej? I put a target on your back, and when I realised, I weighed up the odds. Even if the odds were stacked at 1/100 that we would rescue you, I couldn't live with that 1% chance we wouldn't." He was almost glaring at her. His gaze was so intense it felt like he was trying to will her to understand. "Do you see?" He said again.

She drifted forward until she was sat beside him. His eyes followed her across the room. His face was so close.

"What if it wasn't your gamble to take, Kaz. What if was mine?"

"I couldn't lose you too." Jordie. His name unsaid hung in the air between them. Slowly, she placed her hand palm up on her knee beside his. His eyes left hers only to look at her hand, at her peace offering. He placed his hand on hers, holding it still for a long minute before he intertwined their fingers. He had come without his gloves. Without his armour.

They sat like that in silence for a long while.

Kaz

"It's late," he said. "I should go back to the Slat", but he remained. He couldn't bear to pull his hand away. There was so much still to be said. He wanted to tell her everything. About Jordie and the years before and the years after, before he had known her. He wanted her to know Kaz Rietveld as well as Kaz Brekker.

"What does the R stand for. On your arm?" For the briefest moment, he wondered if she could read his thoughts.

"It's a reminder of why I started this. My family name. For Jordie."

"Rietveld" she breathed. He nodded. "Kaz Rietveld". He hadn't heard his name spoken aloud since he had been a small boy.

He twisted his body so that he was facing her. His hand was still intertwined with hers on her knee. The waters hadn't risen yet.

He reached up with his other hand. Inej remained perfectly still, her eyes watching his every movement. He brushed a strand of hair off her face. How often he had imagined what it would be like to hold her silky hair between his fingertips. To run his hands through it. He let the strand drop and softly, ever so softly, traced the tip of his finger down the side of her cheek. His finger lingered. Too quickly, he felt the waters rise around his ankles. He forced his eyes to stay open, to look at Inej. Beautiful, brilliant, warm Inej. Her shoulders had risen ever so slightly with his touch. "Inej", he whispered. But the waters were rising faster now. And he could feel himself slipping away. She's here; she's alive. I'm alive. But the thought of Jordie was too close in his mind, and suddenly he felt as though he was no longer sat on the bed. He was in a sea of bodies, the stench of decay clouding his senses, his eyes squeezed shut so he couldn't look down and see his own decaying body. So he wouldn't see Inej's bloated body floating with the rest.

"Kaz", he could hear her, so softly, her voice like a rope thrown into the sea for him to cling to so she could drag him out. "Kaz", the waters receded. "Kaz", he opened his eyes and pushed himself away from her.

"I went to see Pekka Rollins" He snapped his gaze back to hers.

"What?" He rasped, "When?"

"Before I left. He won't be coming back to Ketterdam again." So his wraith was the reason why Pekka had left Kerch with his son and a skeleton staff in tow. Kaz had managed to acquire a couple of Pekka's establishments- but he couldn't help himself looking back every now and again, wondering when he might reappear. It seemed as though the answer was never.

"Why?"

"Because I still believe you can be more than the next Pekka Rollins. You told me no peace or forgiveness was waiting for you. I disagree. You've earned a lifetime of peace, Kaz. You saved me. You came back for me. You avenged me. You paid off my indenture. You found my parents and gave me my freedom. You saved the Grisha. You gave Ravka a chance. You gave us all a chance, Kaz. Please, please give yourself a chance."

"The Queen's Lady Plague", he watched the realisation flash across her face. "Pekka took everything from us. We were on the streets during the firepox outbreak. There was nowhere to go. We both caught it. I woke up on the Reapers barge. Everyone was dead. No one could hear me. Ask me how I swam to the shore, Inej. Ask me"

"How?" She whispered

"I used Jordie's body. I didn't have the strength to stay afloat on my own. I couldn't save him." She closed her eyes. He knew she was making a silent prayer to her saints. He wondered which one. He knew he should comment on it, make a snide remark to annoy her, so he could end this conversation, give himself some respite from these memories. But he didn't.

After a moment, she opened her eyes again. "That's why," she said. Kaz nodded once.

"Pekka being gone doesn't stop the other gangs from planning their move, Inej. I've done all I can this past year to strengthen the Dregs, to keep the others weak. But you know how quickly the tides can turn - especially if we're away searching for the heart of Sankt Feliks."

"Yes," she replied, "but they can't get us if we're not here."

He wondered if that was pity in her eyes. Pity for Jordie. Pity for him. He hated the thought of her pitying him. His mind felt like it was being pulled in a hundred directions. He had never felt so out of focus. He wanted to reach back out to her, but he wasn't sure if he could. He'd already pushed himself so much tonight. Despite that, he could stop his fingers from reaching out and resting on the soft fabric covering her forearm. He stilled for a second and then began tracing the smallest pattern, right over the spot where her Menagerie tattoo used to be.

"Kaz", she whispered again. He wished he could bottle the sound of his name on her breath so he could play it over and over again. He would never listen to anything else.

She pulled at her sleeve, her fingers brushing his ever so quickly. He didn't recoil; he just moved his strokes to the space above her knee, concentrating on her warm body and beating heart. He noticed her breathing had quickened. Her eyes were slightly glazed. He wondered if he would be able to see his own glazed eyes mirrored in hers. She pulled her sleeve up, and on her arm where his fingers had been moments before was a tattoo. Not the menagerie tattoo that she had cut off. Not the tattoo which had been replaced and subsequently removed following their trip to the Ice Court. No, this tattoo was very familiar, akin to the own on his arm—the crow-and-cup.

"Why?"

"To remind me of home."

"The Dregs?"

"No, Kaz. You."

His fingers itched to move back and trace the outline of the tattoo on her skin. So he let them. The waters didn't rise. But he knew this was as far as he could go tonight.

Chapter Text

Inej 

It was almost lunchtime when Inej made her way down to the dining room; the faint smell of waffles and lull of quiet conversation had risen to her room, waking her. She was alone and half disappointed that Kaz wasn’t there, half relieved that she would have a moment to steel herself for the day ahead. Pushing open the door, the first thing Inej noticed was Kaz, who sat at the end of the table, a cup of coffee in hand and his eyes trained on hers. He was wearing the same clothes he had been wearing yesterday. You would have to look for them to notice the few faint creases that lined his usually pristine shirt, the same one he had been wearing the day before. He stayed, Inej thought, forcing the corners of her lips to remain in their straight line. Trying not to focus too much on what that might mean.

The second thing she noticed was that 5 more people were sitting around the table. Jesper, Wylan, Sturmhond, Anika and someone she didn’t recognise. The room had fallen silent upon Inej’s entrance until Sturmhond stood and crossed over to her. 

“Inej, my dear. I’d heard you were en route to Fjerda - only the saints know how you beat me. Do you have a squaller on your crew? Do I need to update my ship? This is very bad for my reputation, you know.” He winked at her. Inej knew Sturmhond’s secret, and she had been planning to go to Fjerda with Nina, but as she prepared to board The Wraith, Nikolai had appeared at the Docks and asked that she arrive ahead of him to set the wheels in motion. She had said a heartfelt goodbye to Nina and spent the journey back to Ketterdam, readying herself to return for the first time in a year.

“A good captain never reveals their secrets” she smiled warmly at him as he sat back down. She glanced around the room again. “Morning Jesper, Wylan, Anika, Kaz” she tilted her head slightly at the face she didn’t recognise. 

Sturmhond spoke again, “This is Serin. He’ll be joining your crew.” Inej smiled at Serin as she walked over to the empty seat between him and Kaz.

“Have I missed much?” 

The room was silent for a few moments until Wylan piped up, “No”, he said, “we were waiting for you.” They were waiting for me. Warmth ran through Inej. She was no longer just Dirtyhand’s Wraith, waiting patiently for orders to be given to her - she was Captain Ghafa. She smiled.

“Does this mean that you’re both joining the crew?” 

“We’ve not agreed to anything yet, just waiting to hear the proposal.” She shot a quick look at Kaz. The slight tilt in his lips confirmed her thoughts - Wylan and Jesper weren’t going to turn this down, and the fact they were even entertaining this meeting meant they were in. 

Kaz finally spoke, his eyes flicking between her and Sturmhond, “so, what does the queen of Ravka want with the heart of Sankt Feliks?” 

“I’m afraid that I’m not at liberty to discuss matters pertaining to the Ravkan crown, but I can tell you that it would be best for everyone, Kerch included, if we were to locate the heart and deliver it to Queen Zoya.” 

“Okay.” Kaz answered bluntly, “where do we find it and why us? Surely Ravka has thieves that would be better suited to such a task.”

“We do. The problem is that it is so much harder to find trustworthy thieves.” Sturmhond flashed Kaz a grin as Inej stifled a laugh; she had never been described in such a manner before. But it was true. Despite them all being barrel scum, the deal was the deal, and if the deal was ever broken, it was always the other party that broke their word first. She couldn’t help but think of Van Eck and her conversation with Kaz the night before. You’re my tell. Another quick glance toward Kaz told her his thoughts were wandering a similar path to her own.

Sturmhond continued, “We believe that the last known location of Sankt Feliks is in the northwest region of the Wandering Isle. Along the coastline, a series of caves that can only be entered during low tide. We believe the clue to finding the heart is in those caves. No one from the Ravkan delegation can go - the Wandering Isles remain under military control. We need a thief to slip in and out, unnoticed.” 

He rolled out a map on the dining table and pointed to spots along the coastline that faced the Bone Road. Inej had sunk a few slavers ships near the Bone Road - it was a treacherous route, filled with pirates and huge rocks that would break a ships hull before you had spotted them through the waves. Many ships would choose to go around the Bone Road, spurred to seek alternative paths by the hushed whispers of sea monsters that filled the taverns. Such a journey round could add several days onto a journey. The Wraith had managed safe passage through the Bone Road once, but it wasn’t a journey Inej had ever hoped to repeat. 

They poured over the map for hours, identifying the best routes to the caves, who would be best tasked with which role, and what supplies they would need for this journey. Sturmhond explained the cave system, and he and Inej plotted the best spot to drop anchor. Inej could only hope it would be as simple as entering the cave and the heart would be right there - but past jobs and intuition told her that this was likely the start of a faint breadcrumb trail and the caves of the Wandering Isle would likely only be the starting point. She wasn’t sure how long this job would take, how long she would have with Kaz on her ship. 

It was strange, working in this way. Inej had spent many evenings with Kaz, pouring over maps and planning. Still, he usually held most of the plan in his head, sharing the minimum amount of information only as and when it was required. However, this time, they were all interjecting with thoughts - even Anika had managed to get in a few words. 

It was dark outside when Sturmhond stood and faced the group, “well, it seems we have a plan. This has been splendid - Wylan, Jesper, thank you for your hospitality. Mr Brekker, it is always a pleasure, Anika, Serin; thank you for joining the crew. Captain Ghafa, good to see you - you’re welcome on my ship anytime”. 

He winked at Inej before walking to Kaz, who remained seated. “The deal is the deal,” he said, shaking Kaz’s leather-clad hand. 

“The deal is the deal”, Kaz responded with a single nod, and Sturmhond turned to leave with a flourish. Kaz remained impassive, but Inej didn’t miss him slip a folded piece of paper into his pocket. 

Kaz

Kaz swiftly pocketed the note from Sturmhond. It had been a long day, and the plan seemed solid enough, but he was already running it through in his mind, testing it for holes and rifling through how it might go wrong. Kaz knew he wouldn’t sleep tonight; instead, he would continue running it over again and again until he had constructed several alternative routes this job could take. He needed this to work. If it did, they would be awarded immunity - slaving was illegal, but it would be easy to stop the Wraith on another charge. She was, after all, sinking boats and killing citizens from Novyi Zem, Fjerda, Shu Han, Ravka, The Wandering Isle and Kerch. Immunity would make that harder. It would also open up so many possibilities for Kaz and the Dregs. He forced thoughts of Kruge and stature into his mind, but all of his thoughts screamed was Inej, Inej, Inej. Something had changed yesterday - he had opened the door, and he wasn’t sure he could close it again, and for the first time in his life, he knew with absolute certainty that he didn’t want to close it.

He watched Inej slip after Sturmhond into the hall.

“Anika, I need you to find Pim and tell him to meet me in my office. Jesper, make sure we are loaded up on ammunition. Wylan, prepare anything you think might be useful from your lab. Serin, stay here. Meet at 5th Harbour at 8 bells tomorrow.” - he wasn’t sure if he could trust Serin yet. His knowledge of Sturmhond’s secret did offer him some protection. However, until Sturmhond had shown up with Serin, he had planned to have Grevil (a relatively new but malleable member of the Dreggs) join them as their final crew member. Everyone nodded, mumbling acknowledgement of their tasks as they left the room. 

Kaz made his way down the cobbled path that sat alongside the Geldcanal. He blocked out the hum of overexcited masked tourists who were getting ready for a night of debauchery and instead focused on the constant tap of his cane. His leg ached. He hadn’t meant to stay in Inej’s room last night - but it had been late as they sat in companionable silence, and then she had fallen asleep. She had looked so delicate, her eyes closed and her breath even. He had moved over to the armchair by the fireplace and watched her - it felt too intimate for him to remain sat on her bed with her asleep. The distance helped him breathe easier, though he did instantly miss the warmth of her body near his, even if they weren’t touching. He’d only intended to stay there for a short while, but he too had fallen asleep, lulled by her soft, rhythmic breaths. 

He had woken to a sharp cramp in his leg. The sun spilling into the room through the curtains told him it was morning. He hadn’t wanted to wake Inej, unsure whether he wanted her to know that he’d stayed the night, so he had quietly climbed out of the window. It was awkward work, with his leg and him trying not to alert Wylan and Jesper to his presence. He could imagine Jesper’s satisfied smirk “sleep well?” He’d ask, following the question with an over-exaggerated wink. Kaz had every intention of returning to the Slat, but of course, the moment he dropped down to the ground was just as Sturmhond arrived at the Van Eck mansion. 

A slight tilt of Sturmhond’s head, followed by a cheery grin, told Kaz that he knew exactly who’s room Kaz had just climbed out of. Kaz ignored him and instead brushed over his clothes, straightening them as best as he could before following Sturmhond to the door, which had been opened a moment later by a surprised Wylan and Jesper. He immediately asked Wylan to send a messenger to the Slat requesting Anika and Grevil join them at the mansion- but Sturmhond interjected, informing Kaz that one of his own would be joining them shortly. 

He was slightly surprised that Sturmhond had come here and not the Slat, but technically, Inej had set this job up, and the Van Eck mansion was a lot more inconspicuous than his office. 

When he stepped into his office, Anika and Pim were there, waiting for him. He fired off orders to Pim, placing him in charge of the Dregs while he was gone. He dismissed them both and spent several hours relishing the quiet of his office as he neatened up several ledgers and wrote out some additional instructions for Pim. When his candlelight faded down to a flickering glow, he put down his ink. He needed a wash, a clean shirt and a glass of whisky.  

Kaz ignored the hellos and unimportant questions from various members of the Dregs as he walked up to his rooms, it took a lot for him not to pause and massage his leg on every step, but eventually, he made it to his door. Slipping inside, he peeled off his coat and gloves and headed towards his small bathroom. He shook off his shirt, wet a clean rag and began washing the two days worth of grime off his body. 

“Inej,” he said as she stepped into his line of sight through the mirror. Her cheeks were tinted pink as he turned to her. 

“Saints Kaz, put a shirt on.” He flashed the smile he saved only for her as he watched her eyes dip between his own eyes and his bare chest. 

“It’s nothing you’ve never seen before”, he responded carefully. It was true; he had cleaned in front of her before, a few times, in fact. But this felt different, intimate. Their small truths from the night before had changed things. Inej remained silent, but he was sure her eyes remained on him as he turned his back, finished cleaning and walked over to his dresser, picking out a fresh shirt and slipping it on. He turned back to face her as he buttoned it up. 

“What did you and Sturmhond discuss when you followed him out this afternoon?” 

“Jealous?” She asked with a smirk, “I was actually asking after Nina - whether she could be in Ravka when we return with the heart - I know Jesper and Wylan would love to see her.” 

“And me”, Kaz murmured before he could stop himself. Inej looked at him, shocked. But it was true, he would like to see her, it had been over a year, and despite himself, he had sent her several letters in Fjerda. 

“What did Sturmhond write in his note to you?”

“I’ll tell you once I’ve read it.” She smiled and walked back to sit on the windowsill. “Is the Wraith ready for departure tomorrow?” 

“Yes, Specht will be joining us - he readied the ship this afternoon. We’ll be operating with a skeleton crew, and I’ve set the rest up with boarding for the duration of the job.” 

How long would this job take? Weeks? Months? Kaz wasn’t sure. The plan only took them to the caves, and Kaz was confident that the heart wouldn’t just be sat in the cave. He felt buzzed with nervous energy at the thought of being on The Wraith, with Inej, for an unknown length of time.

“You stayed last night,” she said quietly. It wasn’t a question. Of course, Inej had probably realised he’s stayed the moment she had walked into the dining room that morning. 

“Yes”, he replied simply. He couldn’t help but focus on how the moonlight danced on her face. She tilted her face further towards it and closed her eyes. Beautiful, he thought. His fingers twitched at his side, longing to brush through her hair or touch the soft skin on her cheek. 

“I can feel you staring,” Inej murmured, turning slightly and opening one eye to look at him. He shook his head, moving over to join her on the windowsill. He stretched his bad leg out in front of him, wincing as he rubbed his hands over it. “Is it bad today?” She asked, concerned. 

“Yes, I slept in the armchair.” 

“Why?” Kaz wasn’t sure if she was asking why he had slept in the armchair or why he had stayed the night and not gone back to the Slat. He decided to go with the former; it seemed easier to answer given that he wasn’t quite sure why he hadn’t gone back to the Slat. 

“Because it felt wrong to sleep on your bed without your permission.” She smiled at that, placing her hand in the space between them. Kaz closed the gap with his own hand, stilling for a second as their fingers brushed, but then their palms met, and he found himself focusing solely on the warmth of her hand in his. The waters were at bay. 

“Would you have slept in my bed if I asked you to?”

“Yes”, he could feel his cheeks warming as the word tumbled out of his mouth too quickly before he could stop it, “I would have kept my distance, though.” 

She nodded, her eyes closing for a second before she whispered, “what if I asked tonight..” she trailed off. He looked at his legs. He wanted to go back to the Van Eck Mansion and lay down beside her - far enough away that they wouldn’t accidentally touch during the night, just to fall asleep to the sounds of her breathing again. Despite his uncomfortable position on the armchair, he hadn’t slept so well in years. He looked back at Inej. She was watching him closely, her brows furrowed slightly, trying to decipher his thoughts. She nodded once with understanding, squeezing his hand softly before letting go. She stood, ready to fly out the window, to dance across the rooftops back to the Van Eck mansion, alone. “I’ll see you tomorrow, 8 bells.” The realisation that he didn’t want her to leave hit him like a brick. He looked at his bed - it wasn’t quite as large, but it was big enough that they would have enough distance. 

“What if I asked you?” he whispered, refusing to meet her gaze. “It’s not as comfortable here, but..” This was difficult for them both. He closed his eyes and waited for rejection; he imagined the inevitable ‘no’ would feel like she was slicing him open with one of her precious blades. 

“I’d say yes too,” she whispered back.

Chapter Text

Inej 

The sun was just beginning to rise when Inej woke. She could hear the scratch of Kaz’s pen from his desk - he had probably been up for hours. She knew he would find it difficult to leave for an extended period of time, particularly now he was truly in charge of the Dregs. She stretched out, still wrapped in the thick wool blanket, inhaling the scent of Kaz. He had insisted she take the blanket last night, he had lain down as far away from her as he could in the small bed, looking decidedly undone in his sleep clothes, what was likely only several inches of space felt like miles. They hadn’t said much to one another after it had been decided that she would stay - they had simply started getting ready to sleep in compatible silence. She was just about to pull the blanket off her when Jesper barged in. 

“Kaz - have you seen Inej? She didn’t come home last night.. oh… hello Inej.” He looked sheepish. Her skin felt like it was on fire. She was perfectly decent, still in her clothes from the day before. But Jesper couldn’t know that, could he? Saints he didn’t think she’d.. that they’d.. She pulled the blankets off and stood up quickly. 

“Morning”, she replied, trying to sound as indifferent as possible. Although Kaz looked up to catch her eye, he remained silent, likely waiting to see what she would do. “It’s barely 6 bells, Jes, what are you doing here?” 

He looked sheepish. “We didn’t hear you come in last night before we fell asleep. Wylan was up early, gathering his equipment and wanted to ask you about space onboard. But you weren’t there.. we were worried.” He was bouncing on the balls of his feet, curious but also cautious. She knew he would have already clocked Kaz’s pale hands. She was pleased Kaz had already been up - she wasn’t fully sure what they were, but she wasn’t ready to share it with anyone else yet. 

“It took longer than expected to prepare the Wraith and set my crew up with boarding. I had to bring a couple of them here - it was late. I needed the rest.” She tried not to sound defensive. Kaz dipped his head down, returning his gaze to his ledger. What is he thinking? Did he want her to tell Jesper that she was here because she slept better knowing he was close by? Did he want her to try and explain what this was? 

Jesper’s brows were furrowed, Inej wasn’t sure that he bought her story. She walked to stand beside him, her knives placed back in their rightful spots. On Kaz’s desk, she spotted the opened letter from Sturmhond. She was desperate to know the contents. But Inej was nothing if not patient, she would find out from Kaz later.

“Come on Jesper, we better get back to Wylan before he starts to think you’ve gone missing too!” He chuckled, looping his arm through hers. 

“8 bells” was all Kaz said as they left the room. 

Jesper had grilled her all the way back to the Van Eck mansion, she had stuck to her story though - she wondered how much of his questioning was because he didn’t believe her or because he wished she was lying. 

“How many cabins are on your ship again?” 

“4 cabins and a large sharing cabin, plenty of space for my usual crew.”

He hummed, “have you given any thought to where people will be staying?” She had to stop herself from rolling her eyes, knowing exactly what Jesper was getting at. 

“Well, there’s my cabin, then a cabin for you and Wylan, then one for Kaz and the last one Specht will have. Anika and Serin will be perfectly comfortable in the sharing cabin - it won’t even be half full. Most of my crew are remaining in Ketterdam.”

“I see.” Said Jesper. She didn’t have the energy to ask what he saw. Instead, she pushed open the door to the Van Eck mansion and floated up the stairs to prepare her things. 

Kaz

When Kaz reached Berth 22, everyone was already on board, even Jesper. It was Specht who greeted him, Inej was busy with her crewmates. He tried not to stare at her back as she pulled on the ropes, her muscles dancing, their movements were visible even beneath her shirt and waistcoat. He focused his attention back on Specht. 

“Boss”, Specht had greeted him, looking slightly uncertain with his choice of wording - technically Inej was his boss now. But Kaz didn’t correct him.

“Specht”, he replied with a curt tip of his head. 

“You’re in one of the cabins, here I’ll show you.” Kaz followed him through into the teak cabins of the boat. Everything was well maintained and pristine, it felt like a sharp contrast to the leaning walls of the slat. It felt like Inej. Specht left him alone in the middle of a small cabin, two twin beds pushed against each wall, a small circular window in between with a wooden table below. 

“Cosy isn’t it,” Jesper appeared in his doorway, leaning casually against the frame, his purple trousers clashing horribly with the stained orange wood. Kaz didn’t say anything. Jesper continued, “Wylan and I are next door, Inej is right opposite, and Specht’s cabin is down the corridor, by the stairs that lead to the shared cabin and the store.” 

Kaz remained silent, unsure what the knowing look on Jespers face meant. Had Inej said something to him?

“Just thought you might like to know where everyone is, you know…” Kaz glared in response to Jesper’s over-exaggerated wink. 

“I’m not sure what you’re implying, Jesper.” 

“Of course you don’t.” Jesper was grinning as he turned and sauntered away from Kaz’s room. It was going to be a long journey. 

Chapter Text

Kaz

The last time Kaz had been on a ship with his crows had been their return voyage from the Ice Court. When Nina had started the harsh Jurda Parem withdrawals, when he had asked Inej to stay, and when Matthias was still here. 

Kaz stood, gloved hands resting atop the railings, watching Ketterdam recede further and further into the horizon. It would be different this time. They would all make it — they had to. He let his mind drift to thoughts of Nina. Their few missives had been short, to the point. But Kaz knew grief, and despite his near-refusal to acknowledge any weaknesses, he did consider Nina to be a friend.

Heading to Wandering Isle on The Wraith. I have suspicions we will be in Fjerda shortly. Keep an eye out. 

When the time comes, we might need you. Please be ready. 

K

He had sent the note to her just before they had departed; Inej had said that she would be too deep in Fjerda to risk exposing her alias and helping them, but, Inej didn’t know yet that Kaz and Nina had kept in touch. And Nina was still as loyal as ever to the Ravkan crown and to her friends. Besides, Kaz knew the ‘please’ would be a nice touch in encouraging Nina to help them. She would receive his note, and she would be ready for whatever was coming. Kaz was confident that what was coming would be their most dangerous job yet. 

As Ketterdam disappeared entirely from view, Kaz turned his sights to the ship, watching the small crew work in unison, watching Inej at the helm, giving orders, the wind licking her hair and her grin palpable. He needed to head inside to find Wylan, Jesper, Anika and Serin. To go over the plan, twist it, bend it, and see what it turned into. But, he realised with a start, the journey would take days, and until they knew what was in the caves, they couldn’t know where the journey might take them next. Yes, Kaz had his suspicions - the Druskelle had always had a strong presence in the Wandering Isle, and they were likely to have explored the caves already on their search for Grisha. But then again, the Isles were under Marshal rule. It was a possibility the heart remained, protected by military guard. If they knew what it was. Right now, though, there was nothing he could do. For the first time in as long as Kaz could remember, he had time. Time to think, time to plot, time without worrying that one of his crew was in danger and needed him. He pushed himself away from the railing and towards the cabin. Perhaps Jesper would be in the mood for a game of cards. 

Inej

Inej stood with her hands on the wheel of her boat. Her crew working around her, operating as they always did, pushing forward together, towards the same goal. While a lot of her initial crew had come through Specht’s recommendations, a few had been people saved from the slaver’s ships over the past year. People who would have been indentured as she was, to pleasure houses, to gambling dens, to upstanding merchants, to the fields, to a million different people or places. The slavers web had been much more extensive than she had first thought. It reached every corner of every country - even Ravka. She might have saved hundreds of people with her crew and be feared by the slavers that still hunted the sea, but she knew this progress they were making was a small dent. She wanted to do more. She knew she could do more. She would burn the whole saints-forsaken system to the ground. 

She watched Kaz, lost in thought before he crossed the deck towards the cabin. Kaz was on her ship, Jesper and Wylan were on her ship. She missed Nina. She wanted to talk to Nina about Kaz’s changing tides, tell Nina that he had held her hand, that he had kept her nightmares at bay. She pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind; here, she was not some lovesick teenager - she was Captain of the most feared ship on the True Sea. 

It was almost nightfall when Inej jumped down from the Crow’s Nest, trading places with Lin, a young Shu girl who had been headed for the pleasure houses. Inej knew Lin loved the height almost as much as she did, which is why she had asked her to join the smaller crew on this journey. It had been a busy day - with a smaller crew came more work. She headed to the cabins, eager to see what Kaz, Wylan and Jesper were up to. Likely just going over the plan. Specht passed by her, a simple tip of his hat telling her he was tapping in for the evening. They had agreed that Inej would captain the days, and Specht would step in on the nights. 

Inej smiled as she opened the door to Wylan and Jesper’s cabin. They were sat with Anika, Serin and two of her crew who were on break, all watching Kaz pull a coin from thin air, trying to guess how he was doing it. She took in the sounds of laughter, the slight dips of the ship as it traversed the waves, the glimmer in Kaz’s eye as he looked at her - her two worlds colliding. 

“There are slits in the tips of your glove. The coin hides in there.” The room stilled for a second before all eyes were on Inej. Only Kaz had noticed her in the doorway. He held her gaze as he slipped his gloves off his fingers, achingly slow. Inej knew her cheeks were heating under the intensity of his gaze, but everyone else in the room seemed oblivious, except Serin, who was watching her intently. Inej realised with a start, when Anika gasped loudly, that she had probably never seen Kaz gloveless. She wondered if Anika had believed the rumours about claws or horrible scars and was surprised at the pale softness that laced his fingers instead.

He repeated the trick and grinned wickedly at Inej for the briefest moment. Inej frowned back in response. She had been so sure that was how he’d done it. She wanted to ask him. She also wanted to ask him about Sturmhond’s note. But that could wait. Right now, she wanted to sit in the company of friends and enjoy a sip of the whisky Jesper had just pulled from his travelling case.

She took a sip of the bottle as Jesper passed it to her. “No one is allowed to drink too much tonight.” She said sternly before giving the bottle to Kaz. 

“Aye aye, captain”, Jesper had responded with a cheeky wink, grabbing the bottle back from Kaz, who had only hesitated for a moment before taking a sip, took another swig and passed it on to Anika. 

“I’m serious!” Inej responded with a laugh, “a rocking boat and too much drink do not go well - trust me.”

They laughed, sharing stories of drunken antics as another hour passed. The little light that had been coming through the small window had long gone. There was only the flickering of a lone candle on the bedside table, offering them any release from the night’s darkness.

“I should check on Specht.” Inej found herself saying, not entirely wanting to leave but also knowing that tomorrow would be torturous if she didn’t get enough sleep. Murmurs of agreement filled the room as they all followed her out, leaving Jesper still sat on the floor, with Wylan’s head on his shoulder and soft snores echoing around the room. 

She walked onto the deck, taking a moment to let the cool night breeze settle against her skin before crossing to Specht, who was watching the horizon through a looking glass.

“Are you well?”

“Yes, Captain, all good here - you should get some rest. It’s going to be another long day tomorrow.” 

“I know. I’m heading to bed now. Knock twice if you need anything. I’ll be on deck to relieve you first thing.”

He nodded in agreement, scanning the horizon once more. Inej walked over to where Kaz was standing. She knew he had followed her out onto the deck. She stood beside him, mirroring his position, hands resting atop the railings. 

“Tell me how you made the coin appear.” He laughed softly at that, pocketing his gloves before showing her slowly how he hid the coin between his fingers. She tried it several times, but her fingers weren’t as fluid. When Kaz did it, it truly looked like the coin came from nowhere. He laughed at each of her attempts, and she pocketed the knowledge that she was one of the few people who knew what his raspy chuckle sounded like and how his voice was softer and lighter when he spoke with a smile. 

“How did you know about my gloves? The slits?” He had asked her after she had given up on the coin and handed it back to him. He turned back around out to face the inky sea.

“Six storeys up an incinerator shaft. It would have been hard not to notice.”

“I forgot you’d worn them.” She couldn’t tell what he was thinking; she wanted to know if he minded that she had worn them and if he was okay with her knowing the secret intricacies of his gloves. But, if he wasn’t okay with it, she couldn’t go back and stop herself from using them, it was in the past, and it had been a necessity. The best she would be able to offer him was a “this action will have no echo.” She hoped he was okay with it. 

“I never asked if you were okay with it… were you?” 

He scoffed, looking almost angry. “They were almost molten when you gave them back to me, Inej. I wouldn’t have been okay with you not wearing them. It was the least I could give you.” Another net, another admission. 

“It feels like a lifetime ago.” She said quietly in response. It had been over a year, perhaps almost a year and a half since they had been in Fjerda. So much had changed since they had last been in this position, staring out at sea together. 

He turned to face her, one hand still holding the railing loosely, the other held out in a silent offering. She took it. Kaz Rietveld. Without armour. 

She had just been about to ask him about Sturmhond’s note when she heard the first scream. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 5

Kaz

Kaz’s head whipped in the direction of the scream but he couldn’t make out any cause. The ship's deck was now shrouded in blackness, most of the lanterns were unlit, he knew that Inej only kept the essential ones, the few that lead the way to the inner deck, one at the helm and one at the stem, lit. It allowed the wraith to be almost undetectable but also meant they did not have to worry about running out of wax or paraffin if their journey took longer than expected. This did mean that it was almost impossible to make out anything, or anyone in the darkness of the night. Minutes had passed, but Kaz couldn’t shake the feeling that something was very, very wrong. The wind that had been whipping through the sails had stilled, the sea had turned calm. It was too quiet. 

“I know screams, Kaz”, Inej whispered to him, “that one wasn’t good… I can’t see anything from here. I’m going to find a better vantage point, I need you to find Specht.” She had stepped closer, her voice barely audible, a knife already in her hand. Kaz also knew the sounds of screams well, he was usually the master of them.

By the time Kaz had nodded, the wraith had already disappeared. 

He pulled his gloves on and grabbed his cane from its rest against the railings. He kept to the darkest part of the shadows, the tap of his cane barely a whisper as he made his way to the helm of the ship. He still couldn’t see anything, not on the ship, or in the black seas surrounding. Had the Merchant Council sent a fleet of Izmars’yas after them? No. Inej’s warning device would have sounded — and the ship would have been destroyed long before anyone had time to make a sound. Although he wouldn’t put it past them trying to take out Dirtyhands, the Wraith and Wylan Van Eck all in one go. Kaz knew that while Wylan was the wealthiest merchant, he was still struggling to gain the respect of the rest of the council as their youngest member. He knew that his association with the Dregs, and with Jesper, didn’t help his case. But this wasn’t that, and the council wouldn’t dare go after them with anything but an Izmars’ya. So not the Merchant Council. This didn’t really help narrow it down, they had a lot of other enemies - the Tidemakers, the other Ketterdam gangs, the Druskelle, the slavers from all corners of the World… What if it is someone new? Someone who has caught wind of our mission? The ship was still too quiet, no one had come out of the cabins. Kaz would find Specht and then go and find Jesper. It was too dark to make out anything on the masts, but he knew Inej would be up there, waiting and watching. 

A hand reached out to grab his wrist, Kaz, lifted his cane, ready to attack, before realising the hand belong to Specht, his eyes wide and frightened and a single finger pressed to his lips. Kaz knew he was glaring as Specht immediately let go, mouthing “sorry”. With his other hand, Specht pointed to the shadow of a figure making its way into the inner deck, the cabins. Someone who wasn’t supposed to be here was on the ship. 

“Did you see where they came from?” Specht shook his head. “Stay here, stay hidden. Keep your eyes on the water.”

Kaz slipped inside, following the shadowy figure. He was silent on his feet, quick and ignoring the dull ache in his knee that seemed to worsen with every step. All the doors in the small corridor were closed. A pale flickering light escaped through the cracks of two doors - Wylan and Jesper’s room, and Inej’s room. There had been no light shining from beneath Inej’s door when he had followed her out onto the deck no more than an hour ago. They’re here for Inej. Kaz didn’t hesitate as he gripped the door handle, twisting it slowly and pushing the door open. 

The room was empty. Ransacked. Crumpled, ink-stained pages of missives covered the floor. Her drawers were open and clothes were strewn about. What are they looking for? He gave the room a quick sweep, checking that no one was hiding under the small bed, or in the closet. He was bending down to pick up one of the crumpled pages when he heard a muffled moan from across the hall. 

Jesper

Jesper’s back rested against Wylan’s. He hadn’t seen the attacker, he had been dozing, three whiskies relaxing him with Wylan’s head resting on his shoulder. He had been hit in the head. Thick blood was oozing down his face, the gag in his mouth preventing him from calling for help. When he had woken up, he had shifted and grunted and tried to elicit some kind of response from Wylan, anything to let him know that Wylan was okay. But there had been nothing, only silence and the cold weight of him resting against his back, bound together with rope. It had been after one last desperate attempt to shout for help that Kaz had opened the door to his room - for a split second Jesper had seen shock and fear cross Kaz’s eyes before it had been replaced by a cool nothingness. He had marched across to them, his limp more pronounced than usual, and ripped the gag from Jesper’s mouth.

“Wylan” Jesper had croaked. Kaz had nodded once, before stalking round to check on Wylan. “Is he…” 

Kaz cut him off - “he’s breathing, but he’s out cold.” Kaz had then pulled a blade from his pocket, slashing through the bindings and freeing them both. Jesper stumbled as he rushed round to grab Wylan’s hand in his own, his fingers tracing over his pulse point, his sigh deep as he felt the soft throb of Wylan’s pulse. 

“I didn’t see anyone, it was like a ghost.”

“They didn’t bind Wylan’s hands the same way.” They had known he was Grisha. A secret so few people knew. 

Jesper couldn’t hide the panic in his voice, “who are they? What are they after?”

“I don’t know what they’re after” Kaz didn’t know. Panic rippled through Jesper’s chest. If Kaz was admitting that he had no clue what they were up against.. well.. saints help them. Kaz tore a strip off the blanket on the bed, handing it to Jesper for him to press against his head. The bleeding had slowed, the cut starting to clot. 

“I can’t leave Wylan like this, Kaz.” Jesper had whispered, he had lifted Wylan to the bed and was sat beside him, stroking his copper curls out of his face with his free hand. Kaz had nodded and Jesper saw the flash of fear cross his eyes once more.

“I don’t know what they’re after” Kaz repeated. His hand gripping the crow head of his can so tightly, that Jesper was sure if his gloves had been off, his knuckles would be pure white. It was disconcerting, seeing Kaz so shaken, he could tell Kaz was running through the possibilities in his head. It had maybe been a quarter bell since the scream. The scream.

“There’s more than one of them.” Jesper stood, grabbing his revolvers, one in each hand. His mind was racing. “The scream, the scream was at the same time they attacked us. And it wasn’t me or Wylan who screamed. It sounded so close though.” He leant down and placed a soft kiss on Wylan’s forehead. “Can’t let you go out there alone, Boss.” If he’d have blinked, he would have missed the barest look of appreciation that shot through Kaz’s face, disappearing before it had really shown itself. 

“We need to go down to the shared cabin. Anika, Serin and the rest of Inej’s crew are likely down there.” Jesper nodded, following Kaz out into the corridor. He closed the door, drew in his breath and gathered as much strength as he could before he forced the wood of the door to weld itself into the wood of the walls surrounding. He might need to save the rest of the crew, but he would be damned if he let anything else happen to Wylan. He knew that if anything happened to him, one of the others would get Wylan out, even if it meant tearing down the wall. 

He followed Kaz down the corridor, flinching with every creak of the floorboard underfoot, the creaking worse as they approached the stairs that lead down into the shared cabin. 

“No mourners,” Kaz whispered, his hand ready to push the door in front of them open. 

“No funerals,” Jesper replied as they burst into the cabin. 

Inej 

Inej had found the source of the scream. The small body, twisted in ways that looked impossible, that rested against the railings of the Crow’s Nest, belonged to Lin. Inej clutched the small, broken, body, pushing back the tears that threatened to fall. She might have saved Lin from being subjected to a lifetime of being used like nothing more than a doll, a doll to grant others’ pleasure... But instead, she had granted Lin a death sentence. She was only a child, younger than Inej had been when she was taken, and now she was gone. Petyr, Marya, Anastasia, Vladimir, Lizabeta, Alina, Petyr, Marya, Anastasia, Vladimir. As Inej repeated the names of her saints, her hands clutching her knives, the tears still threatening to fall, she saw a shadow slip into the cabins. 

The Wraith slipped down the masts and into the cabin in mere moments, she moved like liquid, flowing into the spaces that the shadow inhabited seconds before. She followed the shadow down into the shared cabins, noting the light that slipped through the cracks under Jesper and Wylan’s room, and her own. They’ll be fine. Inej slipped through the door of the shared cabin to find two fingers, clad in black cloaks, each with a gold pin on their chest. The sun in eclipse. Inej knew what that symbol meant, not just from being a child growing up in Ravka when General Kirigan had been the leader of the Second Army, but from the stories that had reached Ketterdam and taverns in most ports across the True Sea of late, rumours of the Darkling’s return, and his disciples. But the disciples had been disbanded.. that any chance of the Darkling returning had been thwarted as Zoya had taken the crown? Then why are there two of them standing in front of me? She lunged to the left as one of them made a grab for her, her knives ready as they danced around each other, taking every opportunity to jab. Her crew, Anika and Serin, were all bound and gagged at the back of the room. Jesper, Wylan, Kaz and Specht were the only ones missing. And Lin. A small voice in the back of her mind reminded her. With renewed fervour, she hoisted herself up onto the beams that ran across the top of the room, her body weightless as she jumped onto the shoulders of one of the attackers, the tip of Inej’s knife digging into his throat. 

That was when the other started to laugh. 

“Oh, honey…” Her voice was laced with acid as a gust of wind threw Inej back into the beam. Grisha. The impact of the beam against her back winded her as she fell to the floor with a thud. The floor around her felt wet, her eyes heavy as she watched the door open, Kaz and Jesper lunging into the room. 

She tried to pull herself up off the floor as she watched Kaz and Jesper fight the two attackers, the Squaller effortlessly diverting each bullet that Jesper fired. It was then Inej noticed the faint silver embroidery around the edge of the black cloak - the other had red embroidery. A Squaller and an Inferni. Petyr, Marya, Anastasia, Vladimir, Lizabeta, Alina. They were both too distracted by Kaz and Jesper that they didn’t notice Inej stand back up. Inej knew the only reason they weren’t already dead is that they were likely looking for something they hadn’t found yet, and the Inferni couldn’t risk setting fire to the ship. As the Inferni knocked Jesper to the ground, she pulled Sankt Marya from its strap on her thigh and threw it, willing its aim to be true. The Inferni crumpled to the ground beside Jesper as Sankt Marya punctured his neck. 

There was a brief moment of silence before Kaz lunged at the Squaller again, his cane raised in front of him, the crows head bloody from the few hits he had already gotten in - his face bruised and swollen from the fight, a thin gash across his cheek. With a flick of her hands, winds pushed Kaz back until he was beside Inej, both of them fighting to move forward against the stronghold of the wind. Inej watched as the Squaller pulled the knife out of the Inferni’s neck, wiping it slowly on her black cloak before turning to Inej and Kaz. 

“Where is the heart?” 

“We don’t have it.” Kaz spat.

“Lies.” 

“We don’t!” Inej insisted, “but we know where it is, if you let us go, we can get it for you.”

“Foolish girl, murderer, as if I would let you go. You have 10 seconds to tell me where the heart is before this knife lands in your chest.”

“I swear we don’t have it.”

“Where is it then?” 

Inej was silent. She could feel Kaz looking at her, she knew the wheels would be turning in his mind, looking for a way out. 

“Ten, nine, eight, seven, six…” The Squaller began counting down. Inej turned to face Kaz, shaking her head slightly. If the Darkling’s disciples were looking for the heart, this was bigger than them. She willed Kaz to remain silent. 

“Five, four, three, two..”

“The wandering Isles” Kaz blurted. Inej could see his chest rising and falling. No. His eyes were wide, locked into hers but she couldn’t read them. All she felt was white-hot rage.

“Why thank you, sweetheart. I’m afraid you shouldn’t have trusted me though.” She threw the knife. Inej felt the wind recede but the knife didn’t hit her. It took her half a moment to register Kaz’s body lying in front of her, that he had jumped into the line of fire. No. Inej didn’t think as she threw two more of her blades at the Squaller, leaving fine lines of red in their wake where they sliced the retreating Squaller’s skin. 

Inej felt it the moment the Squaller had left her ship, the rocking of the ship picked up with the return of the winds. Inej crumpled on the floor next to Kaz. Not daring to remove the dagger, not daring to touch his white, now clammy skin. How dare he. How dare he make these decisions without her. Telling the squaller where the heart was, jumping in front of the knife. Saints, even the ship, the indenture, her parents. Yes, she was grateful, but it was always on his terms. The tears that she had held back started to flow. She was crying for Lin. She was crying for Kaz. Her Kaz. She was crying for the future she had started to imagine, with Kaz. 

Jesper had started crawling towards them. 

“Is he..?” Jesper’s face was white. She recognised the look in his eyes, the shock. Kaz was infallible, he had been to hell and back several times over. 

Kaz was shivering now, mumbling almost incoherently. She could make out her own name on her lips. Her tears came harder. 

“Did he just say Serin?” Jesper asked, his eyes wide as though he had just noticed everyone else in the room, bound and gagged. 

“I think so..” Inej strained harder to listen to his weakening rasps, “Yes. He just said it again.” She tried to force down the hope blossoming in her chest as she watched Jesper shoot up to his feet, marching over to free Serin and the rest of the crew. It was then that she noticed Serin’s hands were bound slightly differently to the rest of the crew, more rope had been used and the bindings pulled much tighter.

She let the hope bloom. 

Chapter Text

Jesper

The moonlight was peaking through the porthole windows. It was still dark outside. They were not yet even a full day into their journey. After the Squaller had left, her wind carrying the limp Inferni alongside her, everyone had stayed, frozen in place with panicked eyes looking at Kaz. Jesper had untied them all, but only Serin had moved at that prompt-the rest remaining almost frozen lifeless themselves-watching and waiting for Kaz to stand and walk out with his cane clacking on the ship's wooden floor. But Kaz lay there. The blood starting to pool around his mid-section, his hair clinging to his forehead, his breaths were shallow and his mumbling was now completely incoherent. It was only when Inej screamed for everyone to leave that they all slowly stood.

Inej had been franticly talking to Serin in hushed whispers as the others left up the stairs to the corridor and deck. Unable to wait any longer, Jesper caught Inej’s eyes and mouthed Wylan. Inej had blinked twice before inevitably realising that Wylan hadn’t been among them. She nodded sharply and mouthed go. Jesper took the stairs two at a time. 

It had taken him a few long seconds molding the wood back into a door and for the brass handle to reappear. But Wylan was awake when Jesper opened the door to their room. He was sat up in the bed with one hand holding his head. 

“Oh thank the saints” he had said as Jesper crossed quickly over to him.

“Are you okay?” Jesper had asked, his eyes scanning every inch of Wylan, looking for any visible signs of injury. Luckily there was none.

“I think so…” Wylan had responded. He reached to cup Jesper’s face, alarmed at the dried blood sitting on his skin. His fingers tentatively reached up to trace the clotted cut on Jesper’s forehead. “Are you?”

“I’m okay now that I know you’re okay.” He pressed his lips against Wylan’s softly and drew back to look into his eyes, smiling to show that he really was okay. He couldn’t explain the relief he felt to see Wylan awake. Now he just needed to know Kaz was awake. To know there were no more injuries. 

“Kaz…” Jesper started and then stopped. How could he explain what had happened in the galley below?

“Kaz?” Wylan questioned back, lurching up straight, concern apparent in his eyes.

“He’s hurt. Inej is with him now. And Serin.”

“Serin?”

“He’s Grisha.” Like him. “So were the attackers.” Like him. 

“I thought so. The last thing I remember is feeling like all the breath had been sucked from me. It felt wrong, like something only a Grisha could do.”

“There was a Squaller and an Inferni. Inej took the Inferni down but the Squaller escaped.”

 “You know, they aren’t bad because they’re Grisha.. They’re bad and Grisha. There is a difference.” Wylan could obviously see the self-loathing in Jesper’s eyes. In every fight they had been part of over the past few years there had always been a clearer distinction between ‘them’ and ‘us’ and between ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. But now? Maybe it was the passing of time that had made Jesper feel more introspective, because now the line was starting to feel more and more blurry. 

“I know.” Was all that Jesper had replied.

Specht

Anika had bumped headfirst into Specht as she led the others out onto the Deck. She was frantic.

“Where is Inej?” He had asked calmly, a hand on each of Anika’s shoulders to steady her against the reborn lulling of the ship. 

“She’s still in the galley with Kaz and Serin.” 

“Is she okay?”

“Inej is fine…But Kaz.. Kaz was hit pretty badly.” 

If there was one thing Specht was sure of, it was that Kaz would be okay. He had successfully infiltrated the Ice Court and lived to tell the tale. He had conned all the Merchants in Ketterdam and survived. Kaz would be okay.

“Okay. Anika. I need you to keep everyone in the corridor for five more minutes.” He turned to look at Rooli- one of the ships crew members. “Rooli, I need you to get a sheet and come with me to the deck.”

Anika nodded once, turning to speak to the remaining four crew members. Rooli disappeared into the Captain’s quarters and returned with a large white sheet before she followed Specht onto the deck. 

“Is everything okay?” She had asked once they stepped out into the cool air. The sun was beginning to rise from the edge of the sea, providing the sky with a heavy orange tint. 

“Red sky in morning” Was all Specht responded. It was an old mariners' rhyme. He left the Sailors take warning part unspoken. But Rooli understood and nodded a dark expression in her face. 

Specht led Rooli to the base of the Crows Nest. 

“Wait here” he called as he began the ascent, sheet in hand. Specht had found Lin after Kaz had gone into the galley. He thought he had seen a twinkle in the horizon, perhaps another ship. He went to the Crows Nest to get a better view and it had been there he had seen Lin. She had been too young to know such horror. He had only hoped that her death had been quick. He hadn’t wanted to carry her down to the deck and have the others see the fate that might have bestowed them. So he had said a quick prayer to Inej’s saints - he wasn’t much of a believe himself, but he knew Lin had been taken with Inej’s stories on their long voyages, always hanging on every word that came out of Inej’s mouth with her eyes wide as saucers - and then continued to scan the horizon. He had heard the screams and the yells and the horrible howl of the wind coming from the galley, but there had been nothing he could do. Someone had to see if anyone else dared to board The Wraith. Luckily, no one had. The twinkle that Specht thought he had seen had disappeared. There was no-one coming, not friend or foe. After a while, Specht watched a woman in a cloak float through the darkness, her limp accomplice floating alongside her. Grisha.

He made quick work of wrapping Lin’s body before lifting her stiff frame carefully and beginning the climb down. 

“Is that..” Rooli had started.

“Lin.” Specht confirmed.

Rooli took a moment to compose herself before reaching to place a hand on Lin’s covered body. 

“Saints be with you.” 

Together, they carried Lin to the helm of the ship to wait for Inej’s instructions. 

Inej

Two days passed before Kaz woke. Inej, unable to sit still in wait, had asked Jesper to repair the broken beams of the galley and any other damage the intruders had caused. The crew, Anika and Wylan had helped tidy the ransacked rooms and they had all held a small funeral for Lin. Serin had agreed to preserve the body so that they could take Lin home. 

Inej had found Stumhond’s note in the pocket of Kaz’s waistcoat as she had unbuttoned it for Serin to see the wound. It had been short and to the point, not in keeping with Sturmhond’s usual extravagant fashion. It had simply told Kaz that Serin was a trusted Heartrender and might prove useful. It had proved useful. Inej hadn’t allowed Serin to heal Kaz fully, in the excruciating moments Serin had placed his hands on Kaz’s bare chest, Kaz had started screaming. Crying out for Jordie. For Inej. 

She hadn’t wanted the rest of the crew to hear - she knew that Kaz wouldn’t want that. And so Inej had instructed Serin to only do enough for Kaz to make it through and then Kaz could decide if he needed more once he was able to do more than mumble incoherently. 

They were already operating a skeleton crew, and with Lin gone, Inej was having to be both captain, nurse and lookout.  Jesper and Wylan were able to stay with Kaz most of the day, Inej was only relieved that there hadn’t been any further serious injuries - there was still a treacherous rote ahead of them. Inej tried not to think about crossing paths with the Squaller again in the Wandering Isles. They hadn’t given exact details about where the heart was, but it was enough that Inej was expecting another run-in. They would have to be more prepared next time. Kaz would know what to do.

Eventually, it was Jesper who rushed out to find Inej, in the crows nest, when Kaz woke. With her first smile in two days, Inej slipped down the ropes, pulling Jesper in for a quick, tight hug before she made her way back to Kaz. 

Chapter Text

Everything hurt. His body felt hadn't felt this bogged down since... Since he'd crawled from the filthy shallows of the Ketterdam shore.

Kaz moaned, blurred shadows were the only images that graced him in the small seconds he managed to open his eyes against the unusually harsh candlelight.

"Kaz, it's Jesper."

"Is he..." another voice chimed in, softer and more lilting. Wylan.

"I don't know... Kaz, can you hear us?"

He nodded, or at least tried to. It felt as though he had been subject to a hell of a beating by some monstrous animal in Hellgate. No. The rocking boat...The Tidemaker...The knife...Inej. Inej.

The blurred shadows morphed into two familiar faces. They were safe. It was okay, Jesper and Wylan were safe, but, the knife... Inej.

"Inej" Kaz groaned before darkness came again.

--

He opened his eyes. The room was darker, the candlelight dimmed, the stars revealing nightfall through the small porthole.

He made a few feeble attempts to sit up, groaning in frustration at the agonising realisation that he just couldn't move.

"Don't try." Inej.

"Inej" he managed to scratch out, scanning for her in the darkness, begging his neck to crane higher until he found her.

"Shh," she whispered holding a cup to his mouth "here, drink, you'll feel better".

He choked down a few sips of the water, it did help smoothen what felt like glass shards stuck in his throat.

"Why can't I move?"

"Serin managed to block the nerves in your body to keep you still- to help the healing. He said the pain block would wear off first but it would take a little longer for your body to remember that it can move. Give some time - the knife was so close to your heart, I thought... we thought..." she trailed off, her voice shrinking.

"Inej"

"I'm here." she entered his view. Her face gaunt, her eyes bright and swollen. He wanted nothing more than to lift his hand and catch the tear as it rolled down her sunken cheek.

"Inej." She drew closer, her fingertips wiping her face as she did so.

"I'm sorry Kaz...", she whispered, "...I think.. I think I've just realised that you're only human"

He let out a low chortle. "Well, I don't think being forced frozen and wrapped in bandages is my best look, it's certainly not fit for the bastard of the barrel."

"Kaz, you nearly died."

"But I didn't." He held her gaze for a moment before testing a slight turn of his neck. "I think the block is wearing off. What's the damage? How long have I been out?"

"The ship? Well, the ship can be fixed." Her eyes closed softly and he knew the damage was worse than just the ship. She continued, "You've been out for a few days, we've diverted West, and we'll stop in Novyi Zem for supplies."

He forced his body to sit up slightly, and Inej sprung into action, reaching for another pillow for him to prop his back against and stepping back once more to observe him. He winced, his chest felt as though it were being squeezed from the inside.

"I'll get Serin." She quickly turned, stopping only when he let out a harsh no.

"Just... stay. Please." Nodding, she perched on the edge of his bed. He wanted to reach out and take her hand, but there was a strange coldness surrounding her. Besides, he wasn't quite sure his hand would listen. "Inej, what is it?"

"What's what?" She averted her gaze.

"You're holding back. What is it?"

"I'm happy you're alive" He raised his eyebrow and waited. He knew she was happy to see him awake, but he could sense her need for more. He had felt it when she questioned his tell what now felt like years ago but in reality was little under a week.

"I just... I'm angry at you Kaz." He let his mind flit through the hours prior to the fight, the card game, the drinking, the unspoken promise that they would spend the night in Inej's rooms, close enough to hear each other breath, but far enough that they couldn't touch. Then, the scream, the darkness, the Grisha, the countdown, and the knife... He felt like a fraud, he could sneak into the Ice court but he couldn't figure out why the woman he loved was angry with him.

She must have taken in his blank expression because she continued, "The wandering Isles, Kaz, you told them where the heart is, they were wearing the sun eclipse pins Kaz, they are his followers, which can only mean... and if it means... then this is bigger than me, this is bigger than both of us and the Slat and Ketterdam... He nearly destroyed Ravka..."

Oh. Oh.

"Inej, I..."

"No," she cut in, "don't apologise to me. And you jumped in front of me. How could you be so foolish?!"

"Foolish? I..."

"Do you honestly think I can't dodge a single knife? Is that how little you think of me? And the net..."

"You needed the..."

"Stop talking! I'm not finished." Her eyes drilled into his, rapt with anger.

"And the ship, and the indenture, and everything else you've done without my asking. Kaz, I...". She bristled, turning to look through the porthole. "I thank you, but I need you to stop holding the final say. I am not only your Wraith, for you to order to complete your bidding as you see fit - I cannot just be that to you."

"Inej" he rasped, testing her waters quietly, "I... I didn't mean to..." He was fumbling, trying to find the right words, and failing like a penny trickster botching a simple card trick on West Stave. "I have never seen you as just my Wraith to order around." Inej faced him once again, this time her eyebrow raised in mock. "At least not for a long time." He shifted, sitting fully, ignoring the sharpness in his chest once again, and edging closer to Inej.

"Inej, I am sorry. With the indenture, I thought I might meet the Reaper and couldn't bear that you survive and your indenture falls into Heskell's hands." She gave a slight nod so he continued.

"The ship, I wanted to give a gesture, a token of my appreciation... I got Jesper some new revolvers, and Wylan an old flute that once belonged to some musician he likes."

"A ship is not the same as a flute."

"I know, the flute was surprisingly more expensive."

She let out a short laugh. Her laugh.

"Go on," she said.

"Would you have been able to stay silent if our roles were reversed Inej?" He found himself inching even closer, his hand snaking towards hers and resting an inch away. His eyes bore deeply into hers, also coming to rest a mere inch away. "If a knife was pointed at me and you thought you could stop it from being thrown?"

"I know you wouldn't want me to speak." She countered softly.

"Would that stop you?" She held his gaze firm. "Would it?" he rasped.

She shook her head once.

"We've lost so much already, Inej."

She considered for a moment before nodding her head slowly. "Don't do it again, please."

"I can promise that I won't make any decisions on your behalf in normal circumstances, Inej, but, I can't promise that I won't exhaust every single option if it keeps you alive. If it keeps you by my side. Don't ask me not to. Please."

When her warm eyes were looking into his soul, when her breath was almost brushing his lips, he found these admissions could slip from his tongue easier. She nodded again and he found himself wondering how quickly the waters would rise if he closed the inch now. Inej stilled and he knew that her mind had wandered down the same path.