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"I cannot go with you to the next world to find a new home...at least, not yet."
Lumine couldn't stop hearing it. Even when her brother and Dain disappeared. Even when her and Paimon left the underground domain. The words echoed in her mind, a harsh mantra that encouraged tears to blur her vision and leave her a little breathless.
He had been right there. She could have touched him. She should have been faster. Forced him to stay.
"Don't look so sad! We found him once, right? Paimon thinks it'll be easier to find him a second time!"
Lumine wanted to believe her friend. She wanted to smile, say Paimon was right, and keep adventuring like nothing was wrong.
But she was so...tired.
Outside the domain it had grown dark. Their campsite wasn't far - Lumine could easily make it back and get ready for bed even with all the new bruises and cuts from the fight.
"I think," Lumine took a slow breath. "I think i'd like to be alone for a little bit, Paimon. You can go back to camp without me."
Paimon scrunched her face, not liking the idea. Her mouth opened to say just that, until she got a good look at Lumine's glistening eyes and loosely crossed arms. The girl looked like she was barely holding herself together.
"Okay...but if you need Paimon, just bring out the sugar-frosted slime, because you know -"
"You'll be able to smell it. I will, Paimon. Don't worry."
They both pretended not to hear the crack in Lumine's voice and parted ways. Paimon gave one look back at the crestfallen girl, her eyebrows furrowed and guilt nagging, before flying back to camp.
Lumine didn't know where she was going. Funny, because now that she thinks about it, she never knew where to go. Ever since waking up in this world, it was one guess after another trying to find out where her brother could be. Every mountain climbed and lake swam, everything she did was out of blind hope that her brother might be on the other side of it. And now here she was, months later, empty handed and left with more questions than when she started.
"You're with Dain?"
Lumine kicked a rock from her path out of frustration. How could he have asked that? After seeing each other for the first time in who knows how long, and he asks about some random guy she met not even two weeks ago? Not even a hello. Not even a "I missed you". Nothing.
Was her brother even trying to find her? After what happened, Lumine doubted it. Whatever he was facing with the abyss order and the seven, it sounded like he may of even forgotten her for a time.
It made her feel stupid. Foolish. Here she was, running around, asking for help and putting up posters with him, and what was he doing? Playing god? Fighting a war he didn't have to? Well, Lumine couldn't assume that. He was the prince after all, so he did have a big part in whatever was going on. But why didn't he tell her anything? Why did he have to leave so quickly?
Lumine stumbled over her feet. So lost in her head, she forgot to look where she was wandering. She didn't suppose it mattered. Wherever she went, Paimon would find her. Or someone else, who would then ask her to do something for them before they'd give her directions back.
She just so tired.
Her legs felt weak. Numb. She found a flat rock jutting on the cliff's edge and nearly fell on top of it. Every limb felt heavy. The tears pricking the corners of her eyes burned. Failure, rejection, exhaustion - all of it crashed and filled her at once, leaving Lumine both gasping for air and letting out one broken sob after another.
Tears rolled hot down her face, tickling the skin underneath her cheek. She did not bother to hide her cries - she shouldn't have to. She deserves this. Everyone who can hear her can damn well go somewhere else.
She just wanted her brother. She just asked for this one thing, and constantly being faced with dead ends and more questions crushed her hope day after day. Lumine felt selfish sometimes, asking her friends for help. She understood they were busy and had jobs to do. But she couldn't help feeling bitter about all the times she had to stop searching for Aether to help them. And what does she get in return?
"I'd like to help, but i'm busy with..."
"I'll keep an eye out for him if you do this for me."
"Your twin brother? Oh, right, I almost forgot you were looking for him."
A blinding rage clutched Lumine's heart - all of her friends had done next to nothing to help her. After everything she'd done for them. After everything she sacrificed - every bruise, every rescue, every damn delivery she made. And what does she get? Nothing. A flimsy promise to keep an eye out for him, if she was lucky.
Was it selfish of her to expect more? Finding her brother was her own problem, and now that she knew he was working wth the abyss...the others might try harder to find him, only to try and end him instead of them reunite.
The sobs had died down. The moonlight had cast everything around Lumine in a milky glow, giving a serene and ethereal scenery. But Lumine could only focus on her hands that lied in her lap. Empty. Cold.
Her shoulders drooped under what felt like the weight of the world. Her grievance teared her apart at the seams, but other's expectations patched her up again - albeit roughly, but good enough to fake it. Good enough for her to get by and say nothing was wrong. Like she didn't feel like her heart was being crushed under an icy hand and threatening thoughts that Aether would never come back to her.
Everyone expected her to pull through this. To wake up tomorrow morning with a smile and a "Let's get going - there's still so much of this world to explore."
But archons, she doesn't know if she can do it this time.
No, you have to. A soft voice in her head called. Aether is still out there. You need to find him again.
Lumine knew the voice was right. That she needed to keep looking. But for how long? How many more questions is she going to receive instead of answers? How many people are going to offer a half serious promise, and leave her to do it herself?
She closed her eyes. The picturesque of the lake in front of her disappearing. Behind her eyelids, Aether's face appeared again. This time, he gave a brief smile, looking different then when they had met at the abyss.
"We will be reunited."
"When?" Lumine wanted to ask, but her voice died in her throat.
Aether turned away, face blurring, figure fading.
Lumine reached out, her fingertips grazing the ends of his cape. Don't go.
He disappeared. The tears did not. The weight of loneliness and grief did not.
"Please, Aether," Lumine opened her eyes and stared up at the crescent moon above. "Please come home soon."