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Tranquility sculpted the atmosphere, the soft whispers of the wind and quietude of the secluded room being the only thing that the boy, who was perched on the side of the mattress, could allow into his system.
The boy was taut, sitting upright as he subconsciously rocked to and fro, amber eyes studying what lay ahead of him.
Snowfall cascaded outside of the partially opened windows, allowing some form of air to circulate within the normally ablaze room.
It was quiet.
The boy’s mind was not as hushed, mind spiraling back to another eon, to which thousands and thousands years of misery were never put to rest. They constantly tore at him, the snarling and vicious memories, and though he was granted freedom from that suffering countless times, he would never forget.
How could one forget? Adepti falling one by one, yaksha’s ends and blood spill continuing for as long as he remembered. And he couldn’t stop any of it.
The snow, it had ceased momentarily.
So had his mind.
Another night, he suspected, of reliving those memories in silence and guilt. For who could he tell? He was merely a yaksha, blood sworn and bound. He was never going to be free. Never. He was..
“...Alatus?”
The whisper of his authentic name emerged from the darkness beside him, and it was only then that Xiao realized a gentle hand was resting upon his back, careful and cautious.
Xiao turned sharply at the touch, eyes trailing up to meet the burgundy ones of the other boy who was examining him, hand slowly moving in tiny circles on his spine.
“What are you doing up, Kaedehara?” Xiao inquired abruptly, reaching up to take Kazuha’s hand and remove it away from his back in reassurance, bringing his legs back up onto the mattress.
Kazuha bustled slightly, adverting his gaze as he toyed with his bandaged fingers.
“I should be asking you that.”
Xiao blinked slowly, releasing a huff of cold air. He watched as Kazuha admired the snow, the way the light of the moon partially reflected off of his eyes. He reached out, taking the bandaged hand without a word, unwrapping the bandages as he pulled the boy forward closer to him.
Kazuha remained silent, only allowing Xiao to continue with whatever he wanted to do, and after a few heartbeats of silence, he turned to face the yaksha with a soft smile.
“The snow is gorgeous, isn’t it?”
Xiao glanced up briefly, before returning to his work.
“Mmm,” Xaio complied, resting Kazuha’s hand on the bed as he leaned over to the nightstand constructed beside them, grabbing a few spare bandages before he picked up the latter’s hand again.
Kazuha winced momentarily, as Xiao started re-bandaging his fingers.
“You know,” the blonde haired boy started once more, voice as hushed as a zephyr, “it holds peace— the snow, if you’ll believe it or not. Anytime I watch it fall, I feel a type of calm resonate in me.” He finished softly, out stretching his newly bandaged fingers, hand almost instinctively sliding up to caress Xiao’s cheek, who turned his face moderately to the side.
Xiao was quiet, breathes deep and shallowed. His posture had relaxed more than he would probably allow on a daily basis.
“Xiao, why do you shy away at my touch? You know I hold no remorse towards you, qīnài de,” Kazuha whispered, thumb dragging across the shorter boy’s cheek as he drew closer.
Xiao shook his head, reaching up to hold Kazuha’s hand. “I am not free,” he muttered solemnly, forcing an infinitesimal grin.
Kazuha’s face fell into one of confusion. “How come? Morax freed you from your bondage many moons ago, you’re free as the wind, you are no longer enslaved by your burdens,” Kazuha reassured, only causing Xaio to make a small sound in the back of his throat.
“I promised the Geo Archon I would protect all of Liyue to my own capability in mutuality. I am not mortal, I bear no witness nor worship any god. The wind collects my guilt, swear it be on Barbatos.” Xiao said simply and at last retuned his gaze to the boy, normal piercing eyes glistening with an overwhelming emotion.
Kazuha’s smile quivered, and he shook his head, eyes squeezing shut.
“If you worship no god, bear no witness, then Xiao, listen to me,” Kazuha brought his opposite hand up to the yaksha’s face as well, now cupping it with both hands.
“Let your heart be free.”
Xiao’s physique faltered, and he released grip on Kazuha’s hand, reeling back momentarily as his face morphed into one of pure distress.
The wind whipped outside, lapping at the snowflakes as they fluttered to the ground.
“But, Kaedehara,” Xiao tried desperately, scrunching his eyebrows before he was cut off.
“You’re free. You’re at Wangshu Inn and I am here, Xiao. You have no calling, no duties, no past grievances to make up for. You are free,” Xiao began to tremble at the words, and after a few small breaths, he glanced back to the mattress, where an indent was prominent.
“Can we lay together, again?”
Upon Xiao’s request, Kazuha hesitantly let both his hands fall from the adepti’s face, returning to where he had been laying previously, tucking himself underneath the covers, eyes wandering up to Xiao, who did the same. Once both were comfortable, Xiao released a deep breath, now shielded away from his memories and past remembrances.
They were all soothed, pacified momentarily. All that mattered was that he was here, in the present moment. All that mattered was that he hushed Kazuha, for Xiao believed the boy held more concern for Xiao then Xiao held for himself.
“Shǎguā,” Xiao let a smile carve itself into his features, genuine though small, “it’s okay.”
Xiao extended his arms, to which Kazuha took the invitation with a shaky inhale, reaching and wrapping his arms around Xiao’s waist, bringing himself close. And only then, when he was buried within Xiao’s arms, did he let his breath go.
“You worry me,” Kazuha sighed, shutting his eyes.
“I know,” Xiao replied quietly, slowly brushing his fingers through Kazuha’s hair, fingers sliding through the one specific red strand that Xiao would braid on occasion.
“Forgive me, for that.” The adeptus added, reaching down to pull more of the sheets over Kazuha.
“Kazuha,” Xiao whispered, tilting his chin down, “you are so kind to me, and while you are within my arms, my pain ceases. My mind is calm,” Xiao finishes slowly, sighing.
“So please, whether it—“
“Xiao, whether it is one day or one year, or one lifetime, I will happily oblige to your wishes. You deserve happiness.” Kazuha peered up at the boy, a soft red dusting over his cheeks.
Xiao felt a smile creep onto his face, one that hardly ever appeared.
He would be at peace, if not for himself, for Kazuha. They deserved to bathe in happiness, together, as long as the archons may bless them.
And maybe, throughout Xiao’s thousands of years of suffering, that in itself would be enough.