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Twenty ornate invitations had found their way under the doors of everyone in Class 1A. In gold lettering was written, “You are invited to the Union of Momo Agnes Yaoyorozu and Goblin Slayer.”
Yaoyorozu herself stood outside Kirishima’s door wringing her hands. She was waiting for him to wake up to ask him a very important question.
Soon enough, Kirishima opened the door. His long hair was in his face and he was visibly exhausted.
“Eijiro,” she said. Kirishima stared at her, shocked at the use of his first name.
“Uh, hey Yaoyorozu. Do you need something?”
“I do,” Yaoyorozu said. “I am wondering if you’d be my maid of honor for my wedding.”
“Hold up…what?” It was far too early in the morning for this.
Yaoyorozu forced a little smile. “Would you be my maid of honor? I just think it’s great that you’re…y’know…”
“Gay?” Kirishima said.
“Yes…gay. I want to support you by letting you be my maid of honor.”
Kirishima groaned. “I don’t really know what to say. I guess…I’ll think about it…”
“Great!” Yaoyorozu said. “I have a dress prepared for you and everything.”
Kirishima retreated into his room without another word.
“I can’t believe that! What am I supposed to do, I don’t wanna be her maid of honor, but I don’t wanna disappoint her either.”
Kirishima held his head in his hands sitting on the floor of Bakugo’s warzone of a room. Bakugo paced around aimlessly.
“I wanna see you in a dress,” he said. Kirishima hid his face.
“What the hell? I’m not her ‘gay best friend’ or whatever. This is crazy.”
Bakugo looked at him intensely. “I already told you what I think about it. You’d look good.”
“That’s not the point,” Kirishima said with a sigh. Bakugo sat down next to him.
“Look, I don’t wanna go to this fucked up wedding either, okay? If you do this, it might be the least bit fun for the both of us. I couldn’t care less about her Roblox lover. But you know it’ll be expensive as hell and I’ll find a place for us to get away.”
“You’re right, I guess. I hope it’s worth it.”
“What, is that even a question?” Bakugo said. “But don’t expect me to dress nice.”
“Huh? If I gotta wear a dress, you gotta put some effort in too, dude! You can borrow my clothes, even,” Kirishima said.
“In your dreams,” Bakugo laughed. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready, anyways?”
“Ugh. Fine.” Kirishima plodded out of the room to find Yaoyorozu.
Aoyama stared at the exquisite invitation that he had found conspicuously placed under his door. Yaoyorozu’s wedding would be simply divine, he thought. He imagined himself as the maid of honor standing next to Yaoyorozu in her white gown, dazzling the families with his very own twinkling. Once the image was in his head, Aoyama couldn’t let it go. This was his time to shine, and he couldn’t just let it pass.
Aoyama unearthed an ornate chest that he had hidden under the floorboards for such an occasion. He didn’t know if the world was even ready for such twinkling, but he knew he certainly was.
He pulled out the garment, remembering its humble beginnings as one of Coco Chanel’s little black dresses. Now, it had been spectacularly bedazzled with sequins, reflectors, jewels, and shards of broken glass. It was so bright that Aoyama could barely look directly at it.
“How twinkly!” he said to himself. “I will be the shiniest maid of honor yet.”
Meanwhile, Kirishima dejectedly sat in front of Yaoyorozu’s gilded mirror. She had washed all the gel out of his hair and currently had him in a frilly Lolita-type dress. Yaoyorozu inspected his face thoroughly.
“I think we should be able to just do a light contour with a nude-tone lip. Yes, that will be fine.”
“No offense, Yaoyorozu,” Kirishima mumbled. “But I really don’t want to wear makeup.”
Yaoyorozu looked shocked. “What? But you’re…I thought you’d like makeup.”
“Not really,” Kirishima said. “My face is fine as it is.”
“Apologies, I didn’t mean for you to think you didn’t already look…fabulous. Can we at least cover up your scar?”
This better be worth it, Katsuki, thought Kirishima.
The floating clothes of Hagakure burst through the door at that moment.
“Yaomomo! I just got this new face mask and- Kirishima! OMG, you never told me you liked makeup! Can I join?”
Kirishima opened his mouth to object but Yaoyorozu spoke before him. “Of course, Toru! I could use your help, anyway.”
“Yay!” squealed Hagakure. She ran over to Kirishima. “We’re gonna make you so beautiful, gay bestie!”
“I need to go to the bathroom!” Kirishima blurted out. The two girls stared at him and Yaoyorozu gestured for him to go. He gratefully ran outside the room and called Bakugo on his phone.
“What do you want?” Bakugo said.
“Katsuki, you gotta help me. I’m being tortured!” Kirishima whispered into the phone.
“Just tell them to stop. It’s not that hard.”
“Yes it is! Just come and say you need me for something. They won’t argue with you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bakugo said, but Kirishima hung up. He stepped back into the room.
“You’re back! We thought you had died for a second!” Hagakure said.
“Yes, that was a rather long bathroom break. I also invited Mina to come over to help, too,” Yaoyorozu said with a smile. Kirishima was silent.
“Ooh, can I braid your hair?” Kirishima felt Hagakure touch his hair. He instinctually hardened a little. Suddenly, he heard Bakugo stomping down the hallway and yelling his name.
“I should probably go-“
“No, wait!” whined Yaoyorozu. Kirishima muttered something about needing a shower but it was drowned out by a frantic Hagakure.
“No way, Yaomomo! It’s Bakugo! He’ll probably kill us.”
“I suppose you’re right…” Yaoyorozu replied.
“He’s not like that-“ Kirishima said as the two girls shoved him out of the room and slammed the door. He fell over against the wall. Bakugo stood over him.
“The hell?”
“I told you,” Kirishima said. “I was being tortured.” Bakugo swept him up into his arms.
“You look cute.”
Kirishima laughed a little. “So where are you gonna take me?”
“Wherever I want.” He carried him off to his room.
--
Iida approached Midoriya stiffly.
“Greetings Midoriya,” he said. “Would you accompany me to a yard sale? I am trying to find clothes for Yaoyorozu’s wedding.”
“A yard sale? We could just go to the mall or something…” Midoriya said in confusion. Iida shook his head.
“No. I prefer ‘thrifting’ as it’s called. One will find many high quality clothes for a very low price. So, will you accompany me?”
“Huh!” Midoriya chuckled. “I never knew you liked thrifting. Especially since you’re from a family of Pro Heroes. I guess I never considered that it could be a hobby rather than necessity. But it makes perfect sense; no matter your economic status it is really useful to-“
“Stop this muttering!” Iida said. “I can ask someone else if you are unwilling.”
“No, I’d love to! Let’s go!”
The two found a large yard sale in the town outside of the UA campus. Midoriya had never been to a wedding before, and truthfully didn’t really know what type of clothes to wear to one. He followed Iida around, hoping to find some inspiration. Iida inspected the musty clothes as a housewife would a watermelon. He had been fixated on an old cowboy jacket for quite some time when Midoriya finally spoke.
“Um, Iida,” he said. “What should I wear?”
“Hm!” Iida framed Midoriya with his fingers as if he were taking a photo. “I believe you’d look strapping in that suit over there.”
He gestured to a child-size Spongebob pajama set embroidered with the name “BENJAMIN” in cursive.
Midoriya, slightly offended that Iida thought he was that small, shrugged. “I can ask Todoroki. I bet he’d know.”
“Was my suggestion not satisfactory?” Iida asked.
“No, it’s just…Yaoyorozu’s my friend and I really wanna look good for her special day! I think maybe a second opinion would be good.” Midoriya started to walk back toward the campus.
“Very well! Just know that Todoroki likely has expensive taste, so be prepared!” Iida called after him. He picked up a silk blouse and began to test its durability.
---
The day finally arrived. The wedding was held in an elaborate banquet hall filled to capacity with guests. Curiously, all the guests were on the bride’s side.
Aoyama stood at the doorway, ecstatically thanking everyone who walked through. Bakugo shuffled through dressed in a black and red suit (belonging to Kirishima). Kirishima, of course, was wearing the frilly dress Yaoyorozu had picked out for him.
“Ah, Kirishima you look simply magnifique! Merci for attending the wedding, I appreciate it so,” Aoyama said, curtsying.
“Uh, why are you thanking me? It’s Yaoyorozu’s wedding,” Kirishima replied. Aoyama said nothing and winked.
“There’s too many people here,” Bakugo growled.
Behind them, Midoriya and Todoroki were standing in matching suits. When Bakugo caught a glimpse of them, he lunged forward. Kirishima held him back.
“What the hell?” Bakugo yelled. “What are you two idiots doing wearing the same outfit as me?”
“Sorry Kacchan…I was just trying to match Shouto!” Midoriya said.
Kirishima laughed. “I guess we all shop at Men’s Wearhouse!”
“Shut up. This is your’s anyway,” Bakugo said.
The four all walked into the banquet hall. Kirishima and Bakugo were seated at a table with Ashido and Jiro. Jiro looked pained.
“Oh, hey Kirishima!” Ashido said cheerfully, but she quieted down once she noticed Bakugo beside him. She turned to Jiro.
“Why’s he gotta be here too, right? Also, the table runners totally clash with the drapes. It’s giving me a headache!”
Jiro sighed. “Whatever…”
A computer on a 6 ft tall stand was wheeled into the center. Iida struggled with an HDMI cord before a static image of Goblinslayer’s Roblox avatar appeared on the screen.
“You gotta be kidding me,” Bakugo said. “Let’s get out of here, Ei.”
“Shh! The ceremony’s about to begin!” Ashido hissed. However, the two had already departed. Jiro held her face in her hands.
Yaoyorozu emerged at the back of the room, led by her wheelchair-bound father. Hagakure pushed him down the aisle with her.
“She’s stunning!” Ashido whispered.
She approached the altar and lifted her veil as she faced the screen. The light glimmered off of the tears in her eyes. A priest stood between them.
“We are here to witness the union of Momo Agnes Yaoyorozu and Goblin Slayer…”
As he droned on, Bakugo pushed Kirishima into a cramped closet.
“What the hell, dude? You can’t find anywhere better?”
“I can’t stand the waiting anymore. It’s driving me crazy,” Bakugo said. “Damn. You look great.”
“Ugh. Okay. C’mon, Katsuki, hurry up and take it off!” Kirishima said.
“Hell no. I’m enjoying it.”
Meanwhile, the priest looked over the crowd and said, “Does anyone object to this union?”
Jiro sprang out of her seat. “Yeah, I do! Momo, why? You’ve never even seen him, and you don’t even know his name! I’m fed up with denying my true feelings too, because the truth is, I’m in love with you! Please don’t do this, Momo. You deserve so much more.”
The room seemed massive as the silence settled in. Yaoyorozu bit her lip and turned toward Jiro. She wiped her eyes and opened her mouth to speak, but an electronic Text-to-Speech voice filled the hall.
“Babygirl, do not listen to this lesbian. We were meant to be. I love you more than her.”
“I…” Yaoyorozu looked around the room. She looked at a hopeful Jiro and all her friends, and then she looked to the empty groom’s side. She then looked at Goblinslayer’s avatar expectantly.
“Kyoka, I apologize. I just can’t do that.”
Jiro stared with her mouth hanging open. She felt Ashido’s hand on her shoulder.
“Sorry girl, but you can’t stop true love!”
Kaminari sidled up to their table.
“I was wondering…since you’re a lesbian and all, would you and Yaoyorozu wanna…?”
Jiro evaporated.
“Alright, now if no one else objects…you may kiss the bride!”
A heart emoji appeared on the monitor and Yaoyorozu jumped up in joy. She placed a glass bottle on the floor and rolled the computer stand over it.
“I didn’t know Momo’s Jewish…” Asui mused from somewhere in the back. Cheering erupted from the crowd.
Midoriya suddenly got up. “I wonder where Kacchan is. I want to take a picture with him before we leave.”
“Might not be a good idea,” Todoroki said, but Midoriya was already off. He walked through the hallways and heard quite a clamor from inside a storage closet.
“That’s odd,” Midoriya said to himself. He opened the door and then slammed it shut. Bakugo evidently was busy.
As Midoriya attempted to flee the scene, Bakugo burst out of the door.
“What the hell, Deku you damn creep! How long have you been wanting to see that, huh?! I’ll kill you!”
“I-I didn’t mean to- I wasn’t trying-“
“Calm down, Katsuki! It’s not a big deal,” Kirishima said, still inside the closet. “Sorry ‘bout that Midoriya.”
Midoriya wandered away in somewhat of a daze. Bakugo stood aggressively outside of the closet.
Kirishima sighed. “Come back, I wasn’t finished!” Bakugo stomped back inside and slammed the door.
Aoyama was crying in the crowd as they danced around Yaoyorozu.
“Oh thank you, thank you everyone! I can’t believe this whole affair was all for moi!” No one paid him any attention.
Iida had taken up the duty as bouncer, just in case anyone tried to crash the wedding. He didn’t really know why anyone would want to do that, but you never know.
A thin blond man with a dark mustache approached the banquet hall. Iida jumped into action.
“Halt! What is your name, sir?”
The man looked around shiftily. “Um, is it important?”
“Well, I need to confirm you are on the guest list.”
“My name is John Doe.”
Without so much as a glance to the list, Iida turned aside. “Welcome! Are you with the bride or groom?”
John Doe shrugged. “I’m the groom’s brother. We’re American, you know.”
As he walked off, Iida noticed his mustache was peeling at the edges. He zoomed in front of him and tore it off.
“Aha! I should’ve known it would be you, Monoma! Please exit immediately, you were not invited.”
Monoma blanched and then laughed loudly. “Whaaat? Class A turning their fellow UA students away at a friendly gathering? Truly this is a new low! For shame!”
Iida adjusted his cowboy vest. “I will notify the proper authorities if you don’t leave.”
“Now threatening to call the police! What is my crime, simply existing? You Class A fools are something else!”
Monoma continued to heckle Iida as he was escorted out of the building.
Ashido threw her arms around Yaoyorozu. “Yaomomo! What’re you gonna do now that you’re married?”
“I don’t know…” Yaoyorozu said somberly. “Probably divorce.”
THE END.