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Ginny hated the sun. She hated the way it laughed in the eternal blue sky, the way it laughed into her face, hated its warm rays stroking her freckled-kissed skin. She wanted to scream at it, punch it, kick it, tear it from the sky, punish it for its audacity to shine this brightly above her. How dared it be the same when nothing was the same anymore. How dared it be unfazed when her world had crumbled into dust around her.
She felt the sunbeams tickling her nose, but she didn't enjoy it. At least, that was what she told herself. It felt wrong to sit here and enjoy the hot summer's day when Fred wasn't there to enjoy it with her.
Her fingers brushed over her swollen, bruised knuckles. They had taken a lot more damage than the tree had, but Ginny couldn't bring herself to care. It was just another thing, neither good nor bad, it just was. It didn't matter. Nothing really mattered anymore. Not since Fred was gone.
She heard the birds sing their sweet song in the trees and felt nothing. She touched the soft grass on her skin beneath her palm and felt nothing. She smelled the beautiful flowers around her in the garden and felt nothing. She caught the scent of vanilla and-
I don't wanna seem the way I do
But I'm confident when I'm with you
Lately all I feel is bad and bruised
Tired of tripping on my shoes
“Hi.”
Ginny's eyes snapped open. Luna was standing above her, hair long and dirty blonde, eyes wide and pale blue and smile sweet and slightly dreamy as Ginny remembered.
“Hi.” Her voice came out flat and neutral as it so often did these days. She couldn't bring herself to care. Luna would understand.
Luna lowered herself into the tall grass next to her and tilted her head towards the sky. “That cloud over there looks like a Wrackspurt.”
The faintest hint of a smile tugged at Ginny's lips. Sometimes she forgot how differently Luna saw the world and sometimes she forgot how much she loved it.
She had missed her.
After the battle, they had come straight home. School was closed, obviously, because the castle was in ruins, but they were hoping to get everything – or the most important parts, at least – rebuild before September. Luna had come home, too. They met up sometimes, but Luna was spending a lot of time with her Dad. Not that Ginny could blame her; nowadays she was often by her mother's side too. But when she wasn't with her or her brothers, she spent most of her time alone. Sometimes she liked that, sometimes she didn't. Sometimes she was glad when George came outside to call her to dinner, in his quiet voice that he had soley spoken in since Fred's death, sometimes she wanted to yell at him to leave her alone. But she was always glad when Luna was there. In her presence she felt a sort of ease, a calm, almost a sense of peace that she never experienced anywhere else and that was like balm for her soul.
Ginny squinted her eyes against the sun. “I guess it does. Though I've never seen a Wrackspurt so I can't really tell.”
“Well, it does look rather like that,” said Luna in her high, dreamy voice. When Ginny had heard it for the first time, it had taken a lot of her not to laugh, because Luna sounded as though she had consumed a bit too much of the wrong weed. It didn't sound funny anymore, it just sounded like Luna. “Though its tail isn't as curly as it should be.”
“Tail?”
“Of course,” said Luna, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “All Wrackspurts have tails. And they usually have them tightly curled towards them.”
“Like scorpions?” To her surprise, Ginny found herself somewhat intrigued. But she supposed it actually wasn't that suprising. Though she had never found Wrackspurts particularly interesting, Luna was certainly the most fascinating person she had ever come across.
“Exactly,” said Luna. “Though they are nothing like scorpions, of course.”
Ginny hummed as though to approve. “Did you just come here to look at Wrackspurt clouds?” she asked after a moments pause.
“I like looking for shapes in clouds,” said Luna in her dreamy voice. “I think it's rather enlightening. It can tell you much about the day. Don't you think so?”
“I've never thought about it that way,” answered Ginny honestly. “But I thought you'd be spending today with your Dad.”
“I thought so too,” said Luna. “But you needed me.”
Ginny frowned. “What?”
“You needed me,” repeated Luna. “I could feel it. So I came.”
Ginny stared at her.
“Maybe you have some Wrackspurts in your head,” Luna continued, seemingly unaware of the effect she'd just had on her. “They really do make you quite fuzzy.”
Hot anger rushed through Ginny. “It's not Wrackspurts,” she spat, harsher than intended. In the next moment, she felt bad. Luna didn't have any ill intent and she'd come all the way just to see her.
To her surprise, Luna calmly considered her, long hair falling over her shoulder. “I've thought so.”
Ginny clenched her jaw and turned her head away. For some reason, she couldn't bear to look at Luna any longer. A split second later, she was on her feet.
“Come,” she said.
“Where?”
“We're going to fly.”
Ginny didn't know why she said that, why she wanted to do that, where the thought had even come from. She couldn't remember the last time she had so much as touched a broom.
“Why?” asked Luna, but nonetheless rose from the grass. Ginny's stomach jolted as Luna slipped her palm into hers as though it was the most natural thing in the world. She did so many things like that, things that would make Ginny furious or startled or intimidated. But Luna viewed everything with this odd sense of tranquil acceptance.
“To look for Wrackspurts.”
Luna laughed and Ginny felt the sudden urge make her laugh that way again.
She led her to the shed where they kept their brooms and took out her old Comet 360. The smooth wood felt familiar and and odd at the same time, known yet unfamiliar.
“Really about time I took you out for a ride, eh, sweetheart?” she mumbled.
“Me?”
Ginny turned to look at Luna. “The broom.”
“Oh.” Ginny couldn't tell if she was amused or disappointed, so she quickly mounted her broomstick.
“What are you waiting for?” she asked Luna who was umovingly standing beside her. “Get on.”
Luny smiled in an unsettling way, before getting on behind Ginny and slipping her arms around her waist. Ginny ignored the sudden fluttering feeling in her stomach and pushed herself off the ground. In the next moment, they were flying and the garden and the Burrow were getting smaller and smaller beneath them.
But when she loves me I feel like I'm floating
When she calls me pretty I feel like somebody
Even when we fade eventually to nothing
You will always be my favorite form of loving
Ginny watched her home shrink beneath her, enjoyed the breeze in her face and tousling her hair, was almost painfully aware of Luna presence behind her. She was completely surrounded by her, her hands on her stomach, her arms around her waist, her soft torso pressed against her firm back. When she tilted her head to the side, she could catch Luna's scent of grass and vanilla. It did something very funny to her insides, so she gripped her broom handle tighter and sped off towards the clouds. Behind her, Luna let out a joyful scream that made a smile spread out on her face before she even felt it coming.
Ginny pointed towards the sky. “There's your Wrackspurt-cloud.”
“Yes,” said Luna from behind her. “But now it looks more like a Crumple-Horned Snorkack, don't you think?”
Ginny couldn't help it. She let out a laugh. “Yeah, I guess it does.”
Then she felt a sudden pang in her heart. The bright smile slipped from her face as she stared into the sky towards the distant horizon.
It was the first time she had laughed since Fred had died.
Her heart tightened painfully in her chest, so much so that for a moment, Ginny couldn't breathe. It was as though somebody had put a rope around her throat and ribcage and pulled it tight. It felt wrong. It felt wrong just like the sun in the sky and its warm rays in her face. The sun wasn't allowed to shine because Fred was gone and she wasn't allowed to laugh because her brother was gone-
“Ginny.” Suddenly, Luna's pale hand was on on her toned arm. There was a rare sharp edge to her voice that startled her. “Ginny, we're falling.”
She was right. Unknowingly, Ginny's hands had gripped her broom handle too tight, had put too much pressure on the tip, so they were now racing back towards the ground, the meadow coming towards their face at an alarming speed.
Ginny yanked at the handle and pulled the broom back up into the air and towards the clouds.
“Sorry,” she said. Her heart was a heavy stone in her chest.
Luna's warm hand was still on her arm and she was glad for it. It radiated a familiar calm, eased the tightness in her throat.
“It's alright,” she said softly. Unspoken words were hanging in the air between them; for a moment, Ginny thought she might be able to strech out her arm and catch them in her hand. But Luna seemed comfortable just leaving them hang there and like so many times during the years she had known her, Ginny asked herself how much Luna knew about her that she didn't let on.
When I start to tumble from the sky
You remind me how to fly
Lately, I've been feeling un-alive
But you bring me back to life
“I felt bad too.”
“When?” asked Ginny as she took them higher up the sky.
“When I laughed after my mother died,” said Luna. Ginny froze. They had been friends for a few months when Luna had told her about her mother. She had mentioned it casually in conversation when the topic had come up und while Ginny had scrambled to tell her her condolensces, Luna had just shrugged it off. “Thank you,” she'd said. “But it was a long time ago.”
“It felt wrong to have fun when she wasn't here to have fun with me.” Still, she was saying this with such a casual tone in her voice, as though she was simply stating a fact instead of pitying her and that was the only reason Ginny didn't fall into a rage like she so often did these days. “But after a while I realised that my mother would be very sad if she knew I wasn't allowing myself to be happy. I think Fred would be sad too if you were never happy again.”
Ginny's heart convulsed. She knew Luna was right.
“He was funny,” said Luna. “I liked him very much. He made me laugh.”
He made her laugh too. All the time, until her stomach hurt and tears were streaming down her face. She hadn't laughed that way in a long time and she couldn't imagine doing so ever again.
Then again, she had never thought she would smile again. Or laugh even the slightest bit. And yet she just had done both of these things. Because of Luna. Luna, whose hand was still placed on Ginny's stomach. At first Ginny had thought it was because so Luna didn't fall, but know she thought perhaps it was so she didn't fall. She could count on Luna to hold her while they were floating between the clouds.
But when she loves me, I feel like I'm floating
When she calls me pretty, I feel like somebody
Even when we fade eventually to nothing
You will always be my favorite form of loving
Ginny couldn't tell how long they were flying up in the sky. She could have stayed up here forever, just her and Luna, away from all the burdens of the world that were weighing her down. In fact, she did feel lighter. She didn't know if it was the flying or the laughter or Luna … but she felt … better. Just a little, but a little nonetheless. Not quite like one of those white fluffy floathing clouds, but … perhaps she was getting there.
“You belong up here.”
For the third time today, Luna startled her. “What do you mean?”
“Up here. On the broom, in the sky, between the clouds.”
A grin flickered over Ginny's face. “The clouds that look like Wrackspurts and Crumple-Horned Snorkacks?”
“Yes.”
“I would feel offended that you are comparing me to Wrackspurt-clouds if I didn't know how important they are to you.”
“You're more important to me than Wrackspurts, Ginny.”
Ginny's heart stopped dead in her chest and she turned around. Luna was looking at her calmly, her mouth curved into a soft smile. Again, she had stated it like a simple fact. As something that was neither good nor bad but simply existed.
“More important than Crumple-Horned Snorkacks?”
Amusement twinkled in her blue eyes. “Of course.”
For a heartbeat, there was just the two of them, floating in the clouds, clinging to each other, eyes locked together. “You're important to me too, Luna.”
Her smile widened. “I know. And I'm glad. You're my best friend.”
Again, the pang. “Just a friend?” The words were out before Ginny had even known she was thinking them.
Luna cocked her head to the side and considered her. “No,” she finally said. “Not just a friend. I thought you knew that.”
“I didn't.”
“Well,” Luna said after a moment of silence. “Now you do.”
“Yes,” said Ginny and then she smiled. “And I'm glad.”
“Then I'm glad too.”
And suddenly, Ginny's heart did feel as light as a cloud.
But when she loves me, I feel like I'm floating
When she calls me pretty, I feel like somebody
Even when we fade eventually to nothing
You will always be my favorite form of loving