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1
Dorothy wants to flee. Her fight response is very strong. When there is a witch, a wheeler, a flying monkey, a gargoyle or something else that can be whacked over the head if they are disagreeable to hostile, that’s fine, she knows how to handle that. But facing the inner beast that is her emotional hellscape? Flight. Flight is the only thing to keep her safe. Toto understands that. He will follow her immediately. But now there is Ruby. And while she has proven that she will fight alongside Dorothy, she is also fighting against this very reasonable flight response. It’s infuriating.
So here she is again. Just as Dorothy reaches the door, Ruby slips past her and blocks the exit. With her whole body. She presses against the door, keeping it shut. Dorothy glances around the room. But she knows they have boarded up the windows, she couldn’t jump out even if she tried. Ruby is blocking her escape route. Worse. Making her talk.
“I can’t let you leave like this.”
“Sure you can, just scoot to the side.” Dorothy grinds her teeth and pushes her chin forward. Defiance.
It doesn’t work on Ruby though, who is all soft edges and pleading eyes. “You’ve been running so long, Kansas, it’s time to rest. Just stay with me right now.” She cups Dorothy’s cheek with her hand. And it’s like she is dimming the voice that yells inside Dorothy’s head to flee. All Dorothy has to do is let herself fall. Literally. She leans forward, her head touching Ruby’s shoulder.
Dorothy doesn’t do anything else. Her arms are slack against her sides, her feet barely support her weight. But the will to flight is stopped when she falls into Ruby’s embrace.
Ruby blocks the exit and now Dorothy has to face her insecurities. What a terrible girlfriend to have.
2
Dorothy is furious. She has pushed this off for a reason. Zelena is the Wicked Witch who ruined her life. And she will not talk to her. This is such a bullshit Storybrooke thing. Forgiveness. Redemption. Being the bigger person. Bullshit! And Dorothy tells Ruby all that. In far more colourful words.
“I never said you need to forgive and forget. But it is time to at least agree to a truce.” Ruby’s voice is so calm, Dorothy wants to smother her with a pillow. (For like 30 seconds, she knows Ruby can hold her breath longer than that.)
“I didn’t agree to this!” She kicks against the door. But Ruby stands outside. With the key. And also all her weapons.
Dorothy turns around and glares at Zelena. At least she looks as unhappy about this as Dorothy feels. But she is sitting at the table, playing with a teacup and not making a fuss. She has been in Storybrooke far too long. It has softened her. Disgusting. The Wicked Witch fits into place more than Dorothy. And that is what brings hot tears to her eyes.
But she will funnel this shame into rage, like she always has. Ruby’s betrayal by blocking this exit will destroy everything she has built these past years.
“Ruby! We are done. You hear me? Done! Whatever this is, is not True Love!”
“Dorothy, I’m sorry, but I lied to you.”
“You betrayed me!” Dorothy yells back.
“No,” Ruby’s voice isn’t just calm, it’s controlled. Dorothy can hear the tears held back. And as much as she wishes she could not react to that, it alarms her. “I lied to you, because it wasn’t me who pulled you out of the water. That was Zelena. And nobody asked her to.”
Zelena lets out a noise. Something between a chuckle and a scoff.
Dorothy kicks the door again. Because she knows if Ruby had told her that before, she still would not have agreed to be near Zelena.
“So you want a thanks now?” She spits out with squinted eyes. The vitriol comes natural.
“No. But if you can maybe be in the same room with me without shooting daggers out of your eyes, it would make all these family gatherings easier. See, I made the mistake of leaving my daughter with her aunt for a while, who of course needed a babysitter for an evening.” She takes a sip and Dorothy has the distinct feeling it’s something stronger than tea. “So now Robin keeps asking when she can pet the huge dog again. But well, she can’t, because the dog’s girlfriend is my sworn enemy or whatever.” She rolls her eyes.
There is a knot in Dorothy’s stomach now. She hasn’t spent time with little Robin. But Ruby talked about her. The way she talked about babysitting Henry. The way she keeps volunteering to look after Neal when they are here. Dorothy is unsure how she feels about kids, but she knows she loves the way Ruby’s face lights up when kids are near. Because they don’t fear her the way some adults do. (Or maybe because of something else they haven’t talked about yet.)
Still, bringing Robin into this is a low blow. But maybe this is Dorothy’s out to say she can tolerate Zelena in a six foot radius without losing face. Without saying anything about forgiveness. (Without acknowledging that more than just the Wicked Witch has screwed up her life.)
Ruby blocks the exit to make her move forward. What a terrible girlfriend to have.
3
“Let me go!”
“No.”
Ruby’s hands around her upper arms grab on tighter. Dorothy knows there will be bruises. But she is struggling as best as she can to get her off. She even has a chance, because she knows that Ruby is weaker than usual. Which is exactly why she must go.
“This is my fight! I can’t have anybody else out there fight in my name and not be with them.”
Ruby is panting. She has the sole of one foot against the door and pushes Dorothy away. She is blocking the door with all she has left. Dorothy’s heart breaks. “Look at you. That’s all because of me.”
Ruby’s head sinks for a moment, her face to the floor. When she looks up again her eyes flash golden. A sign she is mustering up all her energy here. “And look what happened to me.”
Dorothy looks. She sees the deep cut on her face, the dried blood above her upper lip from the nosebleed, the furrowed eyebrows that spell worry. But only for Dorothy not her own well-being. And that is the problem. Everybody here is protecting Dorothy as if she was important and it doesn’t feel right.
“That thing is here for me and I won’t hide!” Dorothy takes two steps back and turns, making Ruby lose her balance. But she uses that momentum to fling herself at Dorothy and not facepalm on the floor. Ruby pushes Dorothy further away from the door.
“It nearly killed me. Let Regina and Emma do their thing!”
Dorothy lies on her back now, Ruby above her. One knee presses on her thigh, Ruby’s hands pinning her shoulders. Suddenly Ruby’s weight is felt in a new way. “I can’t let them die for me.”
“They have a chance. They’re good at this. But if you go out, you will most definitely die.” Where there was blood, snot is coming out of her nose now, but the tears fall faster. “Nobody here wants to lose you, Kansas.”
Ruby blocks the exit, because a sacrificial play with no chance of survival is just stupid and not noble. What a terrible girlfriend to have.
not
The hallways are white. But the fluorescent light is swallowed up by a misty shadow falling on the scenery. The straps holding her on the gurney are padded, and yet it feels like sharp claws are piercing her wrists and ankles. Dorothy wants to scream. But there is something in her mouth. Preventing any noise coming out.
Somebody pushes her along the corridors. Light. Shadow. Light. Shadow. There is no face coming into view, no matter how much she struggles to see.
There is laughter. Cackling. Menacing cackling. Somebody is waiting for her. Somebody with no good intentions.
Dorothy is alone. She is always alone. She was discarded. She fought for others, but something went wrong and she fell prey to what society deems acceptable.
She struggles. But she knows even if she could free herself, there is no escape, there is no exit. There are bars in front of the windows and all the doors only lead into the belly of the beast, never out. She has run up and down these halls before. So maybe she can give in now, let the faceless person push her towards her doom.
“Dorothy.”
That voice is new.
“Dorothy, you’re not alone.”
She can’t react, because… because why? The gurney stops and she can sit up. The cuffs are open. Her mouth is dry, but she could speak. If only she could think of something to say.
“Dorothy, please, I’m right here.”
Her naked feet touch the ice cold floor. Through the fog she can see a light. Warm. A red aura.
“Dorothy, come to me.”
And she starts walking. With every step her wobbling knees get stronger, with every window she passes she speeds up, she runs. And the image becomes clearer.
The woman in her red hood. A smile on her face. An outstretched hand. She holds a door open with the other.
“Wolfie!”
And Dorothy wakes up. She doesn’t need to orientate herself, she knows it was one of those nights again. They come and go infrequently, rarely prompted, always a surprise. But now there is someone who creates an exit for her. And Dorothy pushes herself up a bit to hug Ruby, who is lying next to her, whispering into her ear. Because she knows that’s how she can get Dorothy out. Not with violent shakes, but by being a guiding voice.
“Sssshhh, it’s okay, you’re awake now.” Ruby’s voice is soothing. So is her scent as Dorothy buries her face against her neck. Holding on tight.
Ruby will always create an exit if Dorothy really needs one. What a terrific girlfriend to have.