Work Text:
the way you stood in front of him broke his heart.
you knew you looked awful. eyes puffy from crying, scratches lining your face from your fall.
“fall.”
‘what happened to you?’ he says, quickly walking around the bar to help you find a seat.
you honestly hadn’t expected Diluc to be here. you thought maybe Charles would be there, a sad smile on his face when he saw you got banged up again. maybe Kaeya and Venti, who would tease you but then let it go, knowing you wouldn’t talk about it.
‘just got caught up in some things.’ you say, trying to laugh it off. ‘tripped.’
‘you have a black eye.’ do you? ‘i could be wrong, but tripping doesn’t usually give you a black eye and perfectly horizontal scratches.’
did you get more scratched up than you thought?
you run your hand across your cheek, one the rough patchwork you could expect from falling against rough stone. which you had.
but, he’s right. on your left cheek there is one single, long scratch.
‘i hit a branch?’ you almost ask, trying to crack a smile as he sits you down against the back wall. he doesn’t look happy, less so than usual.
‘hey, freeloaders.’ he says, and you turn to where he’s looking.
Kaeya and Venti *are* here. you just didn’t have the ability to get to them first.
‘get over here and make sure Y/n doesn’t do anything stupid.’ Venti hobbles over, a drink in his hand. ‘you’re cut off.’ Diluc says, grabbing the drink from him.
‘Diluc!’ Venti shines, his face pink from the alcohol. ‘your brother’s no fun.’ he says to Kaeya, sitting down on the opposite end of the table from you, his head on the wood.
‘i just think you have too much fun for Diluc to handle.’ Kaeya sits next to you, a prominent slur in his voice compared to his normal speech. ‘what did you do?’
‘nothing.’ you say, just as you always do. he usually just hums and continues drinking, but it seems things being swept under the rug just isn’t in the stars today.
‘you’ve been looking more beaten up recently.’ he says, looking directly into your eyes. ‘did something happen?’
‘i’m sorry, i guess i forgot that Knight Capitan Kaeya did interrogations half drunk.’ he laughs, probably a little too loudly.
‘it’s all part of the job, cutie.’ he says, flashing you a smile. ‘but seriously….’ his face goes a little darker. ‘is everything alright?’
‘i’m fine.’ you say, turning to Venti, who’s hiccuping. ‘you should probably take a look at your drinking buddy though.’
‘Kaeyaaaa.’ he moans, looking up to the two of you, his chin on the table. ‘what am i supposed to do?’
‘what do you mean, Venti?’ you ask, and he looks at you.
‘i can’t find my lyre.’ Archons, the last thing you need right now is Venti singing with his drunken tunes.
‘i think you left it at home.’ you say, patting his shoulder slightly.
‘should i go look for it?’ you shake your head.
‘not right now. instead, i think you should go home, drink some water, and get some sleep.’
‘i don’t wanna!’ he says, stomping his foot underneath the table.
‘i’ll buy you a drink tomorrow if you go home and sleep right now.’ you sigh.
you can see the gears turning in Venti’s head. if you pay, he’ll probably get something better than the cheap wine Diluc insists he be served because he rarely pays.
‘fine.’ he says, standing up.
‘i’ll get him home.’ Kaeya says, grabbing underneath Venti’s arm as he almost topples forward. ‘do me a favor, will you, Y/n?’ you look to him, his eye closed with a genuine smile on his face. ‘don’t worry Diluc too much, ok?’
‘ok.’ his words baffle you as you watch them leave the tavern.
Angel’s Share is just somewhere you come to unwind. where you spend time with your friends, when they’re around. you haven’t seen Aether around in a while, but this is usually where they come.
this is a safe space.
but what does what Kaeya said mean? had you scared Diluc?
Diluc returns, helping you stand with much more care than you’d ever give yourself. he leads you upstairs, a box of supplies in his hand.
Charles is at the bar now.
Diluc sits you down at one of the tables close to the balcony, letting the light illuminate the two of you.
‘Diluc, i swear i’m fine.’ he pulls a couple things out of the box, setting his materials out.
‘your face is covered in scratches and blood. if anything, i believe i’m not being cautious enough. you’re lucky i don’t take you to the Cathedral.’ you huff, turning away from him slightly.
he uses that opportunity to lightly run a rag across your left cheek, the feeling of alcohol burning your skin.
‘ouch.’ you say as he makes sure to get the area around it as well.
‘turn your head.’ you listen, letting him run the cloth along your right cheek.
and your lips. and your forehead.
‘guess i’m more beat up than usual.’ you say, laughing slightly.
‘usual?’ he’s not usually in here when you come. of course he wouldn’t know.
‘i mean—‘
‘i know exactly what you meant.’ he grabs onto your hands, running the newly dampened cloth along any scratches he finds on your arms.
‘i’m sorry.’ you say, trying to take steady breaths.
Diluc, despite his rough and ‘lonesome wolf’ exterior, he truly does give a damn about you. you know that.
maybe that’s why Kaeya said what he did?
you hiss when the cloth touches your forehead again,
‘what happened?’ you look into his eyes.
instead of being his normal neutral stare, you can see tinges of worry in his eyes.
‘ran into a group of hilicurls after finishing my commissions.’ his brow furrows.
‘you tend to do your commissions early in the afternoon, do you not?’ he’s run into you a few times doing them. wandering around Monstadt, trying to figure out where the hell you’re going.
‘yeah….’ you look away from him.
knowing what he’s about to ask you makes your stomach churn.
‘then why were you doing them so late?’
he’s smart enough to know when you lie.
getting up and walking away isn’t an option. he’s much too stubborn to let this go, and you’re not going to make it far how you are now.
‘i’ve been taking on extra commissions.’ you say, rubbing your hands together in your lap. ‘i’ve been doing them later in the day so people don’t know. the only people who have been suspicious are the people here, because i usually come in after.’
he hums, running the cloth over your face again, this time—you assume—to pick up blood.
‘is this why you’ve been coming in looking so beat?’ you look up at him. ‘Charles said something to me.’
‘yeah.’ you sigh. ‘the only ones left at this point are usually large combat ones.’
you’re not lying. people early in the morning tend to get small combats, with four or less monsters. by the time of night you go, it’s mostly Ruin Guards and Mitachurls.
your body aches, your head burning from the exhaustion. it’s so miserable, what you have to do to feel secure. to do what’s needed for the people you love.
‘Y/n, why?’ you look away from him.
Archons, this is ridiculously embarrassing.
‘i need the extra Mora.’ you say, gripping at your thighs. ‘i still have family i need to send it to when i have the spare, so i wanted to *make* spare money to send.’
you refuse to look into his eyes, much more concerned with the large amount of blood covering the parts of your legs that have been exposed by gashes in the fabric.
‘you could have told me, told someone.’
‘it’s so damn humiliating.’ you say, feeling tears hit your hands, nearly burning the scrapes on your face. ‘i’m so tired.’
your body is trembling, on the verge of completely breaking down. you shake your head, trying to convince yourself that you can cry when you get back home, not when there’s people around.
you already look like shit, your body aching and crying for rest. you can’t have whatever little reputation you have run out by tears.
‘can i take you somewhere?’ you look up to him through glassy eyes. he looks so sad, so you nod, wiping your face.
he takes you out the back of Angel’s Share, near the bar. there’s an assortment of tables and chairs, but you don’t sit there.
instead, he leads you just outside the city, to the edge of the pier. he sits down, and offers the same to you.
you follow him down.
‘are you ok?’ he asks, and you nod. the water looks so nice, your feet not touching it as you swing them below you.
it’s calm out there, if windy. it’s not too bad.
Diluc, with hesitation, puts his hand on yours. it’s really warm, a nice contrast to the cool of the night. you look to him, his eyes meeting yours.
‘see, i’m fully aware that you’re lying.’ your breath catches right above your heart. you lift your hand, wiping your face desperately.
what you wouldn’t give to live in the water, away from the bullshit of humanity.
Diluc’s hand removes itself from you. you quickly try to put yourself back together, sitting up straight. you shouldn’t be like this with someone else present.
‘i’m going to get going.’ you desperately push yourself up, rising to shaking feet.
why would you allow yourself to cry in front of him? you shake your head again, grabbing onto it slightly.
fuck, you’ve humiliated yourself in front of someone. made an absolute fool of yourself and who you make yourself out to be.
‘Y/n.’ you hear, and you turn back to the voice. your face is splotchy, you know that. ‘sit back down.’
his words, while sounding stern, feel more like cotton against your bruised head. you listen, slowly sitting back down, head hanging in your hands.
‘i know i’m not the epitome of a confidant, but you can talk to me.’ he says, bending down slightly to catch your eyes.
there’s one thing you want more than anything else in the world right now. however, given your present company, you’re not sure if you’re going to get it.
‘can—‘ you take a deep breath, hands shaking. just ask already. if he says no it’s fine. your hand runs up your face, a desperate but fruitless attempt to shove the tears back in.
‘yes.’ your eyes snap to his. he doesn’t necessarily completely open his arms, but there’s enough there for you to plant yourself against his chest.
and you do.
you hear a puff of air leave him when you make contact, and you’re sure you’ve knocked the wind out of him. but you can’t seem to find it in yourself to care.
you sit there, sniffing, trying to keep yourself together.
‘you know….’ his hands tentatively find their place against you, one on your back and one on your head. ‘it’s ok to cry.’
that does it.
whatever control you had over yourself washes away, leading to angry, burning tears running down your face. you try to keep quiet, but it’s hard.
he doesn’t try to shush you, or whisper anything to calm you down. instead, he just holds you, rubbing your back a little.
it helps, honestly, not to be treated like breaking glass and mending stitches, carefully placed so that you couldn’t hurt people around you more than keeping you safe.
once again, you start to shake.
you can’t seem to do anything right, can you?
‘deep breaths.’ that’s the first thing he's said in a while. you nod, taking staggering breaths. ‘when you’re ready, will you tell me why you’ve been acting off lately?’ you nod. ‘i know you explained a little earlier, but i want to know.’
you press your face farther into his chest. he smells like broken wood and small flowers, the kind you rub between your fingers in spring when you have nothing better to do.
to your surprise, he’s quite warm, making you nuzzle your way farther into his chest, his coat brushing your cheek.
‘are you a cat?’ he asks, making a joke even though you can hear his stern expression.
‘i wish i was a cat.’ you yawn. ‘tiny, cute, gets what they want. sounds like a dream.’
‘well, i can tell you for certain that the second one is true.’ you can feel him get slightly hotter. you move your head do you're facing him.
‘you think i’m cute?’ you ask, him turning away. he doesn’t say anything, obviously not meaning to have said that outloud.
‘are you feeling better?’ you hum in agreement, your head still spinning slightly from the tears and anger towards yourself. ‘what’s been happening with you lately?’
‘i’ve been taking on a lot of extra commissions. usually three or four a night.’ his brow furrows. ‘it’s not exactly a high-paying job, so i need to make what money i can.’
‘but not at the expense of your physical and mental health.’
‘i need to provide for my family.’ you say, grabbing onto him slightly tighter. ‘i’ve barely been able to provide for myself, given that i send a large cut to them. i’ve got a couple siblings, and my dad left several years ago. i’ve got to help them.’
he doesn’t say anything. family is a…. touchy subject for him. but he said he wanted to know, didn’t he?
‘what about another job?’ you shake your head.
‘people don’t need anything on an entry-level right now. apprenticeships have no pay, everyone already has workers. the only place i could really go is the Knights, and i’m not really willing to wander aimlessly around Teyvat for Mora.’
‘hm.’ he continues to rub your back for a moment. ‘once a week you can do a couple bounties for Hertha.’ you look up to him. ‘i’m sure if i asked Jean i could find something for you.’
‘i can’t ask you to do that.’ you say, trying to pull away from him. but his arms are locked firmly around you. ‘you don’t like the Knights, i’m not going to have you talking to them for me.’
‘Jean still respects me as her superior in some form.’ he says, looking out to the water. ‘it’ll be alright, i don’t mind helping out.’
‘ok….’ you say, remnants of your tears still in your eyes.
‘it’s going to be alright.’ you can feel your tears starting up again slightly. ‘i can help, if you want.’
‘no.’ you wipe your face as best you can. ‘i’ll be fine, don’t stress yourself over it.’
‘well then, i’ll give you an option.’ he places his hand under your chin. ‘you let me help you get a job and stable Mora, or i do it myself and take care of you.’
you can feel your tears coming back.
‘why are you being so nice to me?’ your voice cracks as you say it. ‘i haven’t done anything to deserve your kindness. all i do is come into the bar to hang out with Kaeya and Venti, and i see you around from time to time.’
‘would it be so difficult to realize that i care about you?’
‘no.’ you say, laughing a little. ‘but this is a bit overboard from what i’m used to.’ you smile as best you can. ‘people offering up money isn’t necessarily something that has ever been an option for me.’
‘i understand, i do.’ he says, clicking his tongue.
does he relate to you more than he’s letting on? broken, essentially left to fend for themselves? you know about his family, in some aspects at least.
‘tell me Master Diluc.’ you reach up and place your hands against his face. he doesn’t tense, but he doesn’t lean into it. slowly, you worry his under eyes with your thumbs. ‘are you lonely?’
‘a bit, but it’s alright.’ he says, finally leaning into your touch. ‘i don’t mind it.’
‘you don’t have to be.’ you continue to rub your hands on his face. why did he become to calloused to the world? if anything, you’re slightly jealous. be unfeeling instead of small things setting you off slightly.
‘easier said than done.’
‘you do realize that’s what you just said to me, right?’ his brow furrows. ‘it goes both ways.’ you smile at him.
‘sometimes things go only one way.’
‘sure, but they loop back around.’ you sniff again, removing your hands from him. his eyes are tinged with sadness.
slowly, you open your arms to him.
‘i think it’s your turn to cry, if you want it.’
he all but plows into your chest, gripping onto the back of your shirt.
his warm body feels burning, and you hope he’s not going to overheat. he doesn’t sob as you did, ugly and raw.
instead, his cries are quiet, barely moving his body. his tears pool on your clothes as you run your fingers through his hair.
‘it’s ok to cry sometimes.’ given everything you know about Diluc, you’re sure he hasn’t allowed himself the reprieve of tears in a long time.
‘i suppose.’ he says, looking up to you. ‘loneliness isn’t too much of a bother with you around.’
‘is that so?’ you smile. ‘maybe i should be around more often then, hm?’
‘yeah…. maybe.’ you chuckle slightly.
‘will you tell me what exactly it is what you want? just so i don’t mess it up.’
‘come around more often.’
‘alright, i will. promise.’ he hums, planting himself back onto your chest. ‘who’s the cat now?’
he huffs angrily, grabbing at the back of your shirt.
‘thank you.’
‘after everything you’ve done for me, this is nothing, Diluc.’ you kiss the top of his head, not really thinking. he moves up his face, wide eyed. ‘i’m sorry, i didn’t—‘
he turns his face up a little more, and it takes you a second to realize what he’s asking for. you laugh and press another one into his forehead.
‘needy kid.’ you say, pulling him up so his face isn’t directly in your chest anymore. ‘do you want to go back to the bar?’
he shakes his head softly.
‘stay with me a while longer.’
‘alright.’
you look back to the water you wished you were apart of before.
but, it’s alright to just settle for looking out upon it, glad for what you have that they never could.