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The question had been mulling over in his mind for a long time now, staring at his senior’s profile from before graduation, the quote he had insisted being used to introduce himself… It was such a specific phrase, something that seemed so… Lonely? He never pestered the blond about it, figuring it’d lead to some pointless argument before he brushed it aside as if it was never a problem. Anything that delved into what he said or what he did and the why for all of those things… It always lead to ridiculous amounts of arguments that the bluenette really didn’t have the patience to deal with.
However, as he’d come to know the blond, grow accustomed to his difficult nature… His demands for attention while simultaneously ditching Jun with all of his things at train stations without a second thought when he got ahead of himself… Convincing Jun to take in some abandoned dog who was badly hurt and naming her Bloody Mary even though the dorm didn’t allow pets… He’d really put him through the wringer for all things considered, and even now, after graduation, he was continuing to wring out as much attention from Jun as possible. Coming in to cry on their old couch to have all of Jun’s attention once again as though he’d never graduated at all.
But, in a way, he’d thought he never really got to fully know who Hiyori Tomoe really was. Even when Hiyori unloaded on him at Cafe Cinnamon during the Conquest quarrel… He still felt like he didn’t know Hiyori in full. The phrase I admit that only I can perfectly understand myself! was so… Something about it rang lonely to Jun. After all, even if he was just some dirty back alley stray in appearance, and even if he’d been through far worse than Hiyori physically… The way he spoke of how he behaved only spoke enough to him that there was more to it than he wanted to talk about. Why would he always call speaking about it such foul weather ?
Now it just took waiting for the best time to ask Hiyori about it. He didn’t want to deal with a mopey princess during work, and really didn’t want to deal with that during a tour… Eventually, he figured the best time would be on their downtime, even if it meant dealing with the aftermath entirely on his own. Take responsibility or whatever…? He sighed, giving a knock to the dorm door, then nearly jolting as Rinne answered the door and blinked in surprise.
“Huh? Junjun, what’s up? Is there an Asobi circle meeting I missed?” Jun shook his head, forgetting someone in his circle was also in Hiyori’s dorm. “Come to bark at the princess then?” Seeing Jun’s cheeks burn, the redhead laughed before humming and leaning in the doorway. “Sadly yer princess is in another castle, Junjun-- Haven’t seen Hiyori-chan all day, not sure where he went off to.” This caught the bluenette by surprise.
“All day? Not even after y’got back from unit activities…?” Rinne shook his head and Jun felt his stomach sink, checking his phone for any signs and finding he’d received no notice from Hiyori, let alone Ibara. Sighing, he thanked his senior, waving as he was off to look for Ibara to see if Hiyori at least gave notice of his disappearance since unit activities for Eden were going to be picking up again soon after this resting period.
Stepping onto the elevator, he was surprised to see Kanata stepping off, dripping wet despite being fully clothed. “Ohh, it’s Ohiisama-san’s big dog~ Were you looking for Ohiisama-san…~?” The nicknames left him a bit confused for a moment before he held the elevator open with his hand as he remembered Kanata was Hiyori’s other roommate.
“Y-Yeah, did ya see him, senpai?” Kanata tapped their chin before nodding, smiling as they hummed. “Uh… Where?” Kanata then made a surprised face before pointing down toward the fountain near the garden.
“I saw him walking to the garden~ He was alone though, but I didn’t see his face since I was in the fountain…~” Jun nodded, thanking Kanata before letting the elevator close finally after watching the other bluenette leave a trail of wet footprints. Hiyori definitely… seemed to have fitting roommates, they were both odd in their own rights, if not over the top… When the elevator dinged, he stepped off, looking around before he made his way off and headed for the fountain. Upon arriving there, he looked around before finding the exact direction Hiyori likely headed to get to the garden.
On his way there, he looked around while he did, trying to see if he’d spot the blond while he walked. Eventually he came upon one of his unit senpais, but it wasn’t the one he wanted and he sighed. The sigh brought Nagisa’s attention upon him, looking away from the stone in his hand. “Ah, Jun… Were you looking for Hiyori-kun?” Jun nodded, looking disappointed he didn’t find him upon reaching the garden area. “I believe he told me he had to meet with his brother… He was going to be going home for the evening for something… important…” Seeing the way this seemed to disappoint Jun further, Nagisa tilted his head. “...Jun had something important to say to Hiyori-kun, didn’t he?”
“Yeah… Wanted t’ask him somethin’ kinda important…” Rubbing at his neck, he moved to sit next to Nagisa when the elder patted the spot next to him. “...I’ve been tryin’ t’think of a way t’ask him since we been together… It’s not really an easy question, an’ I didn’t wanna bring it up without knowing he was willin’ t’even kinda talk t’me about it…”
“Is it… about the mask he wears…?” Jun blinked, looking over to Nagisa and opening his mouth before he thought about it. “...it is rather lonely, isn’t it?” Jun nodded, frowning a bit as he locked eyes with Nagisa. “...I worry, quite frequently for Hiyori-kun… I trust that since it seems you know what I am referring to… then perhaps he may have opened up to you more than I was aware of… I am almost jealous, hm… But, I will say this… Hiyori-kun is… a bit difficult… For as much as he seems like a book wide open even when he talks about himself… There is more beneath that… hidden code in colored text, decoding keys hidden in the spine of the book itself… Even I can not say that I understand Hiyori-kun, all the time…” This worried Jun a bit, wondering just what can of worms he was digging his claws into.
“...d’ya think he’d wanna bother wit’ me even askin’ him…?” Nagisa hummed, looking to the rock again as he found he was satisfied with the honesty and sincerity he could see in Jun’s eyes. “I mean… he wants me t’fight back every so often, yet he gets upset and throws a tantrum if I’m jus’ a bit too disobedient…” Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair, groaning a bit when he leaned back on the bench. Nagisa continued to examine the rock in his hand, humming again. “Any more input from ya, Nagi-senpai? It’d be nice if y’had some ideas, I’m about t’jus’ go break down his family door an’ drag him away…” Nagisa hummed again, this time seeming satisfied with that idea.
“...Hiyori-kun’s older brother, Asahi-kun, is quite kind… I believe among his family, Hiyori-kun’s brother is the one who’d most agree with your sentiment.” Jun blinked at Nagisa’s comment before watching Nagisa stand up, pulling a card from his pocket to hand to Jun. “...this is… his number, and though it is a business number… he will still respond during meetings.” As Jun took the card, he watched as Nagisa then walked off without another word, humming a song to himself while leaving. Jun blinked a few times before realizing what Nagisa was getting at. Before he called, he sent a text stating who he was and why he was calling before he dialed that number as fast as he could.
It rang, and it rang… For a moment, Jun felt his heart hitch in his throat as he realized what stood between him and approaching Hiyori now was whether or not Hiyori’s older brother picked up the phone. As it continued to ring, he started to feel his heart sinking into his stomach as he wondered if he’d ever have the same amount of free time again to ask Hiyori about something like this without causing too much of a mess for Eden. Before the phone could go to voicemail, a velvety voice answered.
“Hello? Sazanami, was it?” Jun felt his cheeks flush. This guy sounded like Hiyori if he had a voice like Nagisa, what the hell--
“U-Uhm, yes, sir, uhm. I need to speak to ohii--” Fuck, his brother probably didn’t even know he called Hiyori that-- “...T-Tomoe-senpai about something important… It can’t exactly wait due to how rarely we get breaks like this, but if y’guys are busy with some business things, I don’t wanna be a bother, either…” God it felt weird calling Hiyori Tomoe-senpai right now. The man on the other end hummed, curling his hair while he leaned against his desk while cradling the phone between his shoulder and ear.
“Hmm… Well, you’re awfully polite… I remember my baby brother telling me about a cute little doggy named Sazanami… I’m going to assume that’s you then, fufu~ Now… as for speaking to Hiyori-kun, he’s not really busy, he’s just been sitting out in the sunflower field on our property.” Jun breathed a sigh of relief, but then tensed up as the other clicked his tongue. “Now now, that does not mean he’s not busy in a different way… Did he need to get away from you, I wonder? Or away from his unit? How do I know you aren’t out to upset my baby brother by interrupting his time in the field, mm~?”
“Please, sir… I swear on my life I’m not trying to do that, but rather… I jus’ wanna know more about him, I wanted to… t-to get closer to him that way.” He felt his cheeks burning, and as the older Tomoe hummed over the phone, he felt like he was getting lead around by a strawberry on a string.
“Hmm, you do sound genuine… Perhaps would you be willing to meet me before I escort you to my dear baby brother? He is free all day, surely your question can wait until he’s had time to relax with the sunflowers.” Jun bit at his lip, but nodded while holding his phone, staring up at the sky, wondering if Hiyori was looking at the same clouds he was right now. “If that should be fine, I can schedule an escort over to Cafe Cinnamon and meet you there before I’ll have the escort take us to my baby brother. Deal?” Jun closed his eyes, wondering how this could go over before he nodded again.
“Yeah… I can do that. I was s’posed t’meet ya at some point anyway, so I can do that.” This earned a content giggle before the older Tomoe hung up and Jun blinked, hearing the hang up tone before he looked at his phone and locked it. Looking at his lock screen a moment, he sighed, shoving his phone in his pocket. He was going to get to the bottom of this, whether Hiyori wanted him to or not. Making his way to Cafe Cinnamon, he kicked at small rocks every so often, wishing he could just go and see Hiyori already. It was bad enough that he was feeling like he’d somehow done something to upset Hiyori, causing the blond to go off and avoid speaking to anyone in Eden.
Arriving at the cafe, he was surprised to see that Hiyori’s older brother just looked like an older, somewhat more broad version of Hiyori. He never really thought of how small Hiyori was until now, seeing his older brother as something Hiyori could have been. He wondered again back on what Hiyori spoke about, being a pretty flower in the background… He worried the inside of his lower lip between his teeth a moment before moving to approach the older Tomoe.
“Uhm, hello, sir… Sorry for this, I hope ’m not causin’ ya any trouble…” The blond watched as Jun bowed before he was laughing, and Jun felt his cheeks burning.
“So serious, take a seat, take a seat! Hiyori-kun was right, you’re incredibly obedient, but what good is that, mm? Being formal is something anyone can do, it’s performative, show me who you are for real, hmm?” Listening to him, Jun found he was figuring out why Hiyori was the way he was, at least to an extent. “Who is the Sazanami that I hear about being far more than only an obedient dog, hmm?”
“Ah… Well…” Jun stood up straight, taking a seat and finding he was incredibly nervous being put on the spot now. “Wh-What d’ya wanna know specifically? It ain’t really that easy jus’ talkin’ about m’self without a starting point…” Violet blue hues stared Jun down, squinting as he observed the junior’s nervous behavior. Surely this boy wasn’t this nervous all the time, Hiyori spoke better of him than this.
“What, to you, is the best part of Hiyori-kun?” At this, Jun looked up, locking eyes with the older Tomoe. “What makes you so desperate to speak to him, Sazanami? Surely something makes you this desperate to speak to him right this instant, Sazanami.” Jun nodded, swallowing as he felt his cheeks catching on fire. This was an easy question, though.
“I couldn’t thank him enough for how much he’s done for me. He picked me up when no one else would have… he saw somethin’ in me, and ever since then, I’ve been real grateful for it… He’s become so tangled up in my life it’s… s’hard bein’ away from him. I never knew anyone so well as I’ve come t’know him… So many people would see me an’ think I was some thug, but ‘m far from that... I wanna know him better because… he said he’s made himself this mask that… I wanna know if I’ve seen past it even once… I wanna… know who he is behind that mask, if he can still take it off…” The words and how Jun never broke the locked gaze seemed to satisfy Asahi, and he hummed, smiling a bit.
“You’re a good boy at heart, Sazanami. Despite everything, you’re a very, very good young man. I can see why my baby brother is so over the moon for you. He doesn’t shut up about you, you know? He loves to tell me about how good your cooking is, how nothing even at home compared to how warm your dinners would make him feel. How you take care of him even when he feels he doesn’t deserve it… He speaks very, very highly of you, and I can finally know why that was. Even your gaze didn’t waver, and that’s more than alot of businessmen can say, fufu.” Jun felt his cheeks burn and he finally broke the locked gaze to look at the table, finding he was beyond embarrassed about all the things Hiyori had said to his brother.
“H-He really said all that? Goddamn …” Asahi laughed loudly at this, catching Jun off guard.
“He said you say that too much as well, haha!” Jun’s cheeks only continued to burn as Asahi hummed, curling some of his hair on a finger, grinning quite contently. “I shall escort you to my baby brother then, I suppose. You’ve proved yourself quite well, Sazanami, I’m quite proud of Hiyori-kun for finding someone so loyal and strong willed.” Of course, at this, Jun had perked up at the fact he was definitely going to be going to see Hiyori now. “Come now, Sazanami, join me in the car, I want you to tell me more about what you like about my baby brother so I can tell him how wrong he is when he thinks you don’t love him for something ridiculous.”
“Eh?” At this, the bluenette stared at the blond while they walked out to the car, getting inside after waiting for the chauffeur to open his door. He would have opened it himself, but he found that seemed to upset the chauffeurs usually. “Whaddaya mean by that, sir…?”
“Please, just call me Asahi-san if you’re going to be so formal, Sazanami!” Jun nodded, swallowing a bit as he buckled and waited for the chauffeur to take them away. Asahi simply sighed, looking toward the privacy screen where he could see the chauffeur as they started the vehicle back up and shifted into drive. “...Hiyori-kun has suffered, in all his time alive in our household. It makes me sad, as his older brother, even though I know in some way… It’s all my fault. I know it wasn’t my fault to be born first, nor was it mine that our mother chose to have a second child… You know of Hiyori-kun’s… situation, correct?” When Asahi motioned to his chest, Jun blinked.
“Ah… About him being a girl before…?” Asahi nodded, pursing his lips before Jun nodded and Asahi breathed a breathe of relief. “It was kinda hard to ignore since we kinda changed in th’ same dorm room alot… Didn’t really ever think much ‘bout it since he’s my senpai… Besides, nothin’ wrong with it, I think, anyway.” Asahi nodded again, smiling a bit forcefully.
“If only our family could think the same…” The ride seemed it might be a bit long as it seemed traffic was picking up, but Jun didn’t find himself caring as Asahi was filling him in on things he wasn’t sure he’d ever manage to pull from Hiyori himself. “Our mother wanted a daughter, more as someone who could be married off and expand our reach through her… But, instead, Hiyori-kun was born… When at a physical and doing other check ups… Our mother was given the information that Hiyori-kun was, in a way, broken… He could not have children, and essentially that meant our mother had birthed someone useless… It didn’t help that Hiyori-kun was beginning to resist all of the feminine clothes, long hair… always saying he wasn’t a girl at all… She didn’t even care about that anymore because he was already essentially a second son, you know?”
“That’s awful rough though… Jus’ cus’ he wasn’t what she wanted… she was th’ one that chose to have a child, yeah?” Asahi nodded, heaving a sigh as he noticed they were getting close to the estate now.
“He refused every marriage proposal, whether from suitors approaching or those our mother sought out… so when she realized she couldn’t convince him to get married, she gave up… She only began focusing on my growth for our family business, and Hiyori-kun always said that if he couldn’t be useful he’d be pretty… He’d be perfect at everything he did. Every recital he performed to no one but our maids or butlers depending on who was available… I remember him crying after the one recital I could get my parents to let me attend… He was so happy to perform for me, to see someone he knew in the audience clap for his hard work… He’s worked so, so hard to be this perfect person that I fear the only Hiyori-kun I know is the one who came to me to cry about how our mother was so disappointed in him being ‘broken’...”
“Jeez, how th’ hell can she even call herself his mom, huh? That’s some fucked up shit…” Jun then moved a hand to cover his mouth as his cheeks burned and Asahi burst into a fit of laughter. It was a serious conversation, but the way Jun so casually insulted the woman who made so many men tremble in fear of going against the Tomoes any longer was refreshing. He wondered how Jun would handle meeting her some day. What a sight that would be to see in person, really.
“I think over time she has begun to see how cruel she was… But to convince that woman to apologize for any wrongdoing, it’s a bit of a tough fight… One that Hiyori-kun has sadly decided to not fight himself. I’m not sure if they’ll ever go to counseling for it, but... I hope that perhaps the introduction of you into our family might make a difference, fufu~” With that comment, Jun wondered if that meant Hiyori had talked to Asahi about trying to marry him, and he was getting incredibly embarrassed about the idea. Jeez, what the hell had Hiyori said ot his brother?!
Suddenly, the car was stopping and the chauffeur was letting them out. Jun was surprised by the sunflowers as he thought they were going to the mansion first, but instead they’d been taken right to where Hiyori would be… Feeling his heart crawl into his throat as he knew he was so close to his destination, he looked to Asahi then over to the pathway.
“Hiyori-kun is down that path, if you follow it, there is a small clearing with a gazebo that he should be having tea under. Take care, Sazanami, I’ll be heading back home to continue my work for the day, don’t mess things up more if they already were, I really have no idea what brought Hiyori-kun to our sunflower field today~” At that, Jun watched the older Tomoe leave and he realized he might have been panicking for no reason at all.
“ Goddamn …!” Sighing, he looked up at the towering sunflowers, finding they were a bit intimidating in person… Were sunflowers seriously this tall normally?! Stepping down the path between the flowers, he was surprised it did in fact lead to a small clearing with a gazebo… Looking around, golden gaze eventually fell upon the blossom he’d been seeking all day. The sun was setting, and as the shadows of the gazebo’s intricate woodwork fell over him, he felt his heart almost stop in his chest. What right did Hiyori have being so beautiful just sitting there having tea like that? Then, those familiar lavender hues met his and stared in some shock.
“Jun-kun…?” Jun nodded, swallowing and making his way over before stopping in front of the gazebo entrance, feeling he wasn’t allowed to enter this domain without permission first. A slight breeze made it almost feel surreal-- a gazebo alone in the middle of these hundreds of sunflowers softly swaying… “...what brings you here?” Jun swallowed again and bit his lip before he steeled himself.
“I wanted… t’ask ya ‘bout the things you told me at Cafe Cinnamon during the Eve vs Adam thing we all dealt with… I know ya were bein’ honest, but… I wanted t’know… D’ya know if I’ve seen ya without that mask ya were talkin’ about?” The blond stared for a moment, and he could feel the heat rising to his face as he stared Jun down. The bluenette wasn’t sure what Hiyori was getting so red for now, but he really hoped it wasn’t out of anger.
“Jun-kun…” His voice quivered, and Jun tensed up, already knowing immediately what it meant. He didn’t have any tissues on him either, shit-- “I… I really don’t know. Only… O-Only Asahi-kun would really know. Maybe Nagisa-kun, but… I believe he knew me after it started...” There’s a sniffle, and Jun can’t stand back any longer, no matter how much he feels he’s too filthy to step onto that surreal gazebo. Stepping up and toward Hiyori, he pulled him into the tightest hug he could manage as a sob tore its way out of Hiyori’s throat. The way he felt the blond shake and tremble in his hands, he felt the threat of tears in his own eyes, making him bite his lower lip, wishing he could have avoided this, but he knew the question wasn’t an easy one to answer.
“...ohii-san, it’s okay if I haven’t.” The blond hummed a questioning tone between sobs, and Jun rubbed at his back as comfortingly as he could. “No matter who the real ohii-san is… What I know is I love Hiyori Tomoe, and whoever that is… The ohii-san I know an’ have worked with… I love him with m’whole heart. Whoever you change into… Whoever y’used t’be… I’ll love ya nonetheless...” This only pulled harder sobs from the blond as he clung onto Jun with all his strength he could muster. Jun could feel the tips of his nails digging into his back through his shirt, even, and it pulled at his heart hard.
Hiyori couldn’t speak, only sobbing hard as he clung to Jun’s shirt. Tears soaked into the bluenette’s shirt as he quietly hushed Hiyori, rubbing his back and leaning forward enough to press a kiss to his head every so often. At some point he’d started humming quietly, a soft tune he’d heard Nagisa humming to calm Hiyori down after practice. Thankfully it worked quite quickly, and soon Hiyori was only sniffling, leaning against him heavily as he held onto him. When the hiccups started, Jun knew he could pull away enough, looking down at the mess Hiyori had made of his shirt and his face. There’s a fond smile that crossed the bluenette’s lips, though, and he pulled the blond up into a gentle kiss.
“Ohii-san, if you’re feelin’ any better, wanna tell me ‘bout this lil gazebo thing? Or the flower field? Thinkin’ that’d be more fun for ya than talkin’ ‘bout that mask yer so worried about.” Hiyori sniffled and as a hiccup stopped him from speaking on that, he smiled a bit, reaching in his pants pocket to pull a handkerchief out and blow his nose, a soft apology coming out that he’d ruined Jun’s shirt, though Jun just waved his hand and took a seat at the other side of the tea table before realizing he felt too far from Hiyori there. After a moment he picked the seat up and moved it so he could sit closer to the blond, offering his hand to him to hold.
“Mm… I-It’s… a gift from my brother…” Jun nodded, lacing their fingers as Hiyori took his hand, and he gave it a gentle squeeze to further comfort him. The blond slowly moved to lean against Jun as he spoke, finding great comfort just feeling him there holding his hand. “He wanted… to give me somewhere I could be at peace… Somewhere I felt safe and could enjoy my time while visiting family… Since… I wasn’t really welcomed in the house, this gave me somewhere to escape to that wasn’t so easily accessible by my parents…” Jun nodded, getting comfortable with Hiyori leaning on his shoulder, before he was resting his head against Hiyori’s in turn.
“...what brought ya out here today then?” Hiyori hummed, a slight shrug before a hiccup made him squeak as he bumped Jun in the head. Jun groaned, but didn’t pull that far away, only settling again when they were sure the crying hiccups had passed entirely. “Surely there was a reason, yeah…?” Hiyori hummed again while he got comfortable.
“...Conquest was alot, for me… Going through that… I wanted a break after… Having to handle Nagisa being mean to me outside of dramas or actual work like that where it’s all scripted up front… Where we have to script it ourselves…” Sighing, he let his eyes fall shut as he felt his breathing growing more steady. “...I just wanted to spend time relaxing, but I thought I needed to hide away from you, after I stressed you out so much…” A soft sigh left his lips as he felt himself growing tired.
“...s’alright, ohii-san.” He sighed, pulling Hiyori in tight and rubbing his back. “I was upset at the time, but I really ought’a get better with my stamina… I’m not Nagi-senpai but… I do wanna be able t’keep up with ya as close to th’ same way he can…” Hiyori nodded a bit, humming as he felt he was dozing off. “...y’fallin’ asleep on me ohii-san? Maybe we should get ya back to th’ mansion…” Hiyori nodded again, humming as he squeezed Jun’s hand gently to confirm he’d like that. Jun sighed, shifting the table away from them as carefully as he could before he moved to stand up so he could pick Hiyori up bridal style to start carrying him down the path to where an escort was waiting already. He wondered if Hiyori had asked one to stick around to take him back when he was done, and proceeded to thank the chauffeur for helping him get Hiyori into the vehicle.
Although he wanted to ask more of Hiyori in the moment, seeing Hiyori break into tears over that one question when he already had so much information from his older brother… He just couldn’t bring himself to press him further. The ride to the mansion was surreal, honestly, and even taking Hiyori in to his bedroom was further surreal, following a butler to the correct door before setting the blond in his bed carefully before Hiyori woke just enough to whine for Jun to stay. Jun wasn’t about to argue with that when he’d been hunting for Hiyori all morning, so he settled in bed with him quite happily before pulling him tight into his arms.
No matter how their lives evolved over time, he felt he would only grow closer to the blond, and there was nothing more he wanted than to be with him every step of that journey, no matter what fates tried to tear them apart.