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I’m happy for her (But I’m not happy)
Lance was happy for Allura, he truly was. Seeing her happy with Romelle brought him a special kind of joy, especially after the shit-show that had been Lotor, she truly deserved this. But just because Lance was happy for Allura didn’t mean he was happy.
It hurt, if Lance was being honest. It hurt so much to see the way the two Alteans held hands, whispered softly to each other, or just made the other laugh. In the moment of hearing them declare their relationship and their love, Lance hadn’t felt much but happiness for the two girls. It wasn’t until later that he fully felt what the announcement had done to his poor heart.
Lance had been sitting around the campfire just half an hour later, when an ache started in his chest, coating his heart and pressing on his lungs. His eyes burned and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. But Lance didn’t get up, he forced himself to smile nicely.
When he finally excused himself to his lion, he was prepared to cry. No, he wanted to cry, to get the emotions out. He wanted nothing more than to be happy for the two, and he was, he truly was. He couldn’t help the sadness, the hurt that filled his breast. Just maybe, if he cried the pain would dull.
But Lance couldn’t cry, even if his eyes burned and his heart ached. Somehow even as he sat on the cold floor in the cockpit, curled in on himself with tears in his eyes, he didn’t cry.
He wanted to, god he wanted to. But it was like a kick to the gut when he was already down, his body didn’t give in to the sadness. Lance ended up sitting on the floor for hours, staring out into the nothingness of space.
It was moments like this that Lance missed Blue, which only made him more sad. Red didn’t talk to him nor made him feel calmer. All he felt when he connected to her was her loss of Keith. Maybe loss could make them connect probably.
“Hey, Red.”
No answer, but he hadn’t expected one.
“I finally think I understand your pain, or at least understand it better.”
Lance slowly stood up, his body protesting after sitting on the floor for so long.
“Allura started dating Romelle, which is great. They deserve each other. I just… it hurts, so much. When Allura got with Lotor, it hurt, sure, but somehow I knew he wasn’t right for her, so my hope wasn’t completely destroyed,” Lance chuckled softly, letting a hand run over the control panel.
“Seeing her today, smile like that, I somehow knew. Well, I always knew she had no feelings for me but that smile was the last nail in the coffin.”
Lance wasn’t sure if it was Red’s presence he felt move in his mind or if it was just something he imagined.
“I’m not angry or jealous, I’m just heartbroken and happy for her. Romelle is such a great person, and I can’t wait to see them grow together. But Red, listen, I feel so guilty for this sadness.”
This time Lance definitely felt Red, it was almost like she had given him an awkward shoulder pat as comfort, that thought made Lance laugh.
“Thanks Red. At least we have each other and that’s enough,” Lance said sincerely.
Red purred back in agreement, because they did have eachother even if they had both gotten their hearts broken.
As Red continued to purr in his mind, a soft warmth spread throughout Lance’s body like an invincible blanket or hug. And the heartbroken boy drifted off to sleep, hoping the next day would feel better.