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The Emperor paced his chambers amid the skeletal structure of the second Death Star, contemplating the precise steps he would soon take to secure his new apprentice.
But despite the impenetrable security aboard the station, despite the Imperial Royal Guard standing just beyond the door, Darth Sidious sensed another presence, an unfamiliar presence, very near indeed.
The Sith Lord spun around with surprising agility, turning to face his assailant. Just a meter or two away upon his own chair sat….an avian of some sort? How could a bird from the surface of Endor have escaped the atmosphere? Perhaps a careless pilot hadn’t secured his transport shuttle properly. Of all the ridiculous interruptions to his day. Somebody would be losing his head over this, and not quickly either.
The goose twisted its neck to affix a single eye on the Emperor and ruffled its wings in obvious annoyance. Palpatine could sense its rage bubbling within. A pure, unfiltered anger he came across rarely in this galaxy. Too bad he had no use for it, a being with that amount of hatred would normally be quite the prize.
Sheev Palpatine glowered at the bird. The goose glared back, and sensing the threat, hissed and lunged for the cloaked man, serrated beak prepared to rip through flesh, wings flapping menacingly. The Emperor stumbled backward, but swiftly caught his balance and used the Force to fling the animal mid-flight against the far wall, stunning the bird momentarily as it dropped to the floor.
The Emperor approached the near-lifeless form as it slowly began to twitch back to motion, one wing-tip at a time. Rather than wait for its next attack, the Emperor reached out his hands, and let the full power of the Dark Side of the Force flow through him. Purple lightning struck his target squarely, bolt after bolt. Yet… nothing happened. Despite the fact that the bird should have been cooked thoroughly into a delicious snack by now, it was still rising up from where it had landed moments ago.
Panicking, Sheev continue blasting the bird, despite it obviously not working. The bird seemed to somehow be absorbing the energy.
Eyes ablaze, the goose stepped determinedly toward the hooded figure, one webbed foot at a time. Finally it lunged once more at the human.
“Guards! Guards!” he yelled. But he was too late.
Palpatine caught just a glimpse of the red cloaks before he felt a beak close around his fingers. Then everything went black.
***
Somewhere in Sussex, the most powerful wizard in Europe waved his hands above the cauldron, eyes shut, noseless nostrils inhaling the emerald steam rising from the roiling liquid.
It was a delicate spell, but with it the Ministry would be under his complete control by next nightfall. Unfortunately, his concentration was now broken.
Against the backdrop of the night sky, sparkles of purple light appeared midair about a meter beyond the bubbling brew, followed by a loud commotion and a winged figure flying directly toward him.
The cauldron and its contents flew into the air, upended by the bird, whose trajectory continued straight into the wizard, bowling him over too. The Dark Lord righted himself, and to his surprise found that his potion was not eating holes through the ground. He turned over and looked up to see the drops of potion and an upside-down cauldron suspended in midair above him.
“Tell me who you are, and why you have brought me to this place,” a cold, gravelly voice demanded from the darkness.
Lord Voldemort rolled away from beneath the danger, sprang to his feet, and withdrew his wand.
With a wave, the cauldron righted itself and the potion returned to its proper place inside the belly of the cauldron.
“How dare you threaten the Dark Lord.”
A menacing cackle echoed through the night. “You call yourSELF the lord of darkness?” A hooded figure emerged into the play of the firelight from beneath the cauldron. The voice grew sharper. “And what do you know of it?” the disembodied mouth spat.
“You think you can summon Darth Sidious without…” the last word was articulated with a special venom, “consequences?”
Lord Voldemort straightened his spine in indignation. “I didn’t summon you, you intruded upon my preparations for—” his voice was cut off by a sudden tightening in his trachea. The audacity!
The Dark Lord flicked his wand, silently sending the hooded figure flipping backward, heels over head. The hood fell back as the man landed to reveal a terrifying face. A face nearly as inspiring as his own. Glowing yellow eyes instead of his own red. While the man’s nose remained intact, the figure had other fear-inducing qualities. Not bad. But Voldemort’s contemplations were interrupted once again by the swooping bird, once again headed his way. He outstretched his wand hand, summoning the hatred he always had just below the surface.
“Avaaadaaaa kedaaavraaa!” He yelled. A flash of green, and…nothing. The bird was still headed straight for him.
“Avada kedavra!” he tried again. The same. What was happening?
“It wouldn’t die when I tried to kill it either. See what it did to my hand!” The old man’s fingers were bloodied, some hanging tenuously as if they might fall off. With the other hand, Darth Sidious held back the bird mid-flight, wings still flapping, but simply stirring up a strong breeze. Floating midair, the goose was angry.
“I doon’t know how long I can do this… it is surprisingly powerful.”
Voldemort pointed his wand at the goose. “Petrificus totalus!” he tried. The wings continued flapping and the squawking only became louder. “Jelly-legs jinx!” he yelled. Nothing. He tried transfiguring the goose into a goblet, vanishing it with a silent Evanesco, and even wrapping it in the flames from the cauldron. But the bird appeared to have some sort of magical protection around it, a resistance to charms and curses.
A third cloaked figure approached the group.
“Trouble, Master?”
“This blasted thing won’t die. Do you know what it is Severus?”
“Looks to me like a goose.” the edges of the man’s lips twitched in amusement.
Darth Sidious interjected. “Well it’s clearly not your run-of-the-mill bird now is it? It’s powerful, and it brought me here. Why did it do that?”
“What do you mean brought you here?”questioned Severus.
“I was on the Death Star above Endor one moment, then it bit me and all of a sudden I was here!”
“Like some sort of portkey?” Voldemort asked.
Snape’s eyes widened in surprise. He voice lowered to a near whisper.
“But it can’t be… a Soulmate Goose? They’re supposed to be extinct.”
“A what?” the two villains spat.
“A… Soulmate Goose of Enforcement. I have only heard the legends…” Snape trailed off.
Palpatine did not have time for this. “Well, how do we get rid of it? I need to get back to my ship!”
Snape sputtered. “I don’t know! Once it has transported you to your soulmate, the legends tell how to dismiss the goose, but you would remain here with the Dark Lord.”
“Ridiculous! Find another way!” Darth Sidious spat. “Are all of your acolytes this incompetent?”
Voldemort fumed, while Snape summoned a book from the library.
“One moment,” he drawled. Snape flipped through the medieval tome. “Here, the only other option is to banish the goose, but it’s warned to be very unlucky, inviting disorder and bad fortune into the days ahead.”
“Just tell us how to be rid of it.” Voldemort said, leaning in closer to Severus he nodded briskly toward the Sith and murmured, “There isn’t room for both of us here, we must send him back.”
“Very well,” Snape cleared his throat and explained from the book how to banish the goose. “They’re quite difficult to get rid of, the spell requires a great deal of power, finesse, and… cooperation.”
***
Twenty minutes later, Darth Sidious and the Dark Lord had nearly completed banishing the goose, all that was left floating between them was the enraged head, silently squawking but making no noise since its lungs were no longer in this plane of existence.
Facing each other with their hands gripped together, chanting determinedly, Severus Snape observed the red eyes meet the yellow as the Sith Lord vanished with the last of the goose’s beak. Lord Voldemort’s hands fell, grasping only empty air now. He straightened himself up.
“Severus,” he hissed coolly, spinning on his heels toward the potions master. “Is there any possibility the bird will return?”
“None whatsoever, my Lord. A soulmate goose only has the potential to appear once to any person. Additionally, their existence on this plane has not been recorded in centuries.”
“Of course… We did what was necessary. But just in case Severus, that is a dangerous beast. It is best to know everything about it. Had the Sith elected to remain here, what was the other way you mentioned to get rid of the goose?”
Snape coughed. “A kiss, my Lord. Between soulmates. Then the goose moves on to another pair.”
Lord Voldemort scoffed. But there was something else there, Severus could sense it. What was that other emotion behind those calculating red eyes? Could it possibly be, a twinge of regret?