Archive of Our Own

When they find a secure corner, Anna is really going to let Trevor have it. She's going to scold him until he feels maybe three inches tall, and he is apologizing with every other breath! Why? Why did he always do this? Why does he never listen?

She puts her head down a little more against the driving rain, trying to keep up with her taller cousin. His eight-ish inches makes that hard, his longer stride keeping him ahead as they run from shouting authorities. She'd tried to hold his hand for a little while, to make him slow for her, but it's not sensible in the long run. Not unless he decides to carry her.

Briefly Anna toys with the idea of splitting off from him; she has his comm freq and it will give the people angrily shouting, trying to corner them—thank goodness this part of the trans-gov doesn't have easy access to better tech like auto-cars or bikes—two people to chase, and they may finally give it up as a lost cause.

And then suddenly it isn't optional; the wet, muddy ground abruptly crumbles under her feet, and she swears as she falls, in words she's picked up from Trevor in the years they've been vagabonds; a rough incline keeps her from a deadly fall, but the mud and gravel don't exactly loan themselves to letting her stop. She tucks her head into her arms and allows herself to roll down the hill, fetching abruptly up against an old-fashioned chain link fence that warbles as she hits.

Laying there for a few moments and trying to catch her breath is nice, until she sees a flash of light near her; someone up there is using a powerful light to try and find where she's landed, and she isn't about to give them the satisfaction. As the light sweeps away, she catches sight of a ragged tear in the fence, right next to what looked like a warning sign that suggests the fence is supposed to be electrified.

She decides it's a lucky break for her that it seems to be powered off at the moment, and takes the initiative.

Anna wriggles through the gap before the light can sweep back, grimacing a little as her shirt tears and she feels the ragged edges of the wire dragging across her skin. Nothing she can do about it now except hope for shelter, and pretend it doesn't hurt that much. She's very good at pretending that sort of thing now...

It doesn't take her long to realize she had landed at a spaceport. While normally they are meant to be avoided unless they are leaving for a new trans-gov—something she and Trevor have been trying to do for two months now, but getting off planet here is so much more expensive than it should be, and really stowing away is starting to sound more and more like a good idea—right now it is the perfect solution. She can't go into a terminal, not looking the way she does—auburn hair plastered to her head with water and mud, bruised, bleeding, and clothes the worse for wear—but there are always crates around to hide near. Possibly even in, if she is supremely lucky.

Luck is on her side for once, and it makes her nervous. The crate she finds is half-open, as if it had been in the process of being filled when the weather hit. Or maybe is still being filled? Either way, it is drier than where she is, snug, and she really doesn't need to use it for that long. Once she's sure it's safe, she'll get out and comm Trevor, figure out where they can meet up so that she can yell at him.

The crate is half-filled with plastic-sealed packets; it crinkles under her as she carefully climbs in, and she feels something snap, which made her wince, then squeak is it begins to warm under her knee. She grabs the packet, makes herself a space, and sits carefully against the wall of the crate, holding the warming plastic in her hands. It's already snapped, so she may as well get some use out of it, and it's been a while since she felt warm. Soaking wet as she is, it's very welcome.

Despite her best intentions, once she closes the lid, the sound of the rain and the warmth of the heat pouch combine to make her head droop. She knows she should stay awake, but... she fails. Sleep wraps around her, so deep that she does not feel her crate being moved.

Adrian isn't really all that fond of space travel. He is a man who likes his feet firmly on the dirt. Or asphalt, as the case most often is. But he is also a skilled biochemist, and an expected representative of Tevish Terraforming that can pull double duty makes everyone happy.

If nothing else, it gets him away from that scheming socialite who seems to think he should be hanging off her every word, just because she is physically beautiful. Hopefully by the time he gets back she'll have decided to move on to harassing someone else. Plausibly one of his brothers, as they figure out who must now attend the events he'd been enjoying most of the time.

The idea makes him snicker, even as he checks through his notes. Dimitri will shut down anyone he disliked with zero remorse, and it's almost a shame he was going to miss that. Zel wouldn't be attending events—he was much more socially anxious—but perhaps in a couple of years, Sunny, or Luna, might-

“Five minutes until departure. Employees should begin final preparations, and strap in.”

He sighs a little, and finishes composing his last written mail to his family. Personal, not related to business; he won't see them for two, nearly three years, and communication in space, beyond the phasegates all trans-govs make use of, is spotty at best. Once they are beyond those gates, it will take months, if not years, for messages to reach home.

He misses his family already.

Anna bangs at the crate lid fruitlessly, and tries not to sob with fear; she shouldn't have slept so long, shouldn't have slept at all, but here she is. She doesn't know when the lid had been locked, doesn't know when she had been loaded onto the ship, but maybe if she makes enough noise, someone will hear and-

“Thirty seconds to lift off. All employees should be strapped in.”

Anna covers her face, not that it matters with how dark it is, and lets the tears consume her. She knows if she gets this part of the panic out of the way now, she will be able to think clearly later.

But even knowing that, she feels the starkest fear; what will she do without Trevor?

It takes a few hours to travel the phasegates, and there isn't much point in trying to get anything done until they are past them, so Adrian reads the crew list again, scrolling the profiles stored on his PDA. Tevish Terraforming isn't a small company, but it is still a great honor to be chosen to look into more viable homes for the human species, or their allies.

He's admittedly met most of the crew. They seem to be a varied lot, from the captain to the cargo hold workers; some seems to be cheery, others a little more standoffish. The chief medic seems a little bit... unnerving. At best. His first impression had been a sterner version of his mother—also a prominent doctor—and Dr. Montblanc hasn't done much to change that. Admittedly, he thinks it's probably best for her to be a little stern; most of them are in their early twenties, and even though certain types of recreation are not available, he suspects that some of his crewmates will be less... restrained without someone to watch over their shoulders.

It is supposed to be a long trip, depending on how far beyond the phastegates they go to look for terraformable planets. They have enough supplies to last for three years, if nothing else, though he rather hopes it wouldn't take that long.

Still, perhaps by the time they turn and head for home, the crew will be all the more familiar with one another, and he will have made some friends.

Anna wakes from her involuntary sleep with a dehydration headache, and starts patting around in the crate to see if maybe she can find something to eat or drink. The warmer has long since died, but the temperature of the ship seems comfortable. She's wearily pleased to have gotten lucky; the fact that she's woken up at all means that this is not a cargo transport, that there are people who will need to get at the cargo. The hold needs to be at a reasonable temperature, and artificial gravity needs to be maintained.

Maybe she'll get luckier and they'll set down for a supply run, or a crew trade. Then she can try and sneak out, figure out where she is, and find a public comm station so she can contact Trevor.

She knows he must be worried. Likely angry at her for disappearing, but she knows it covers anger at himself for losing her. That's what it's always been like, and he might scold her when they meet again, but she can scold right because because it's his fault they were running away in the first place!

Noise outside the crate makes her go still, and she flinches as something scrapes loudly overhead. There is some muffled swearing, and she thinks it's one of the crew. Part of her wants to say something, but the rest of her is afraid; she doesn't know what ship she landed on, and some ships are known for being harsh to stowaways, even if they're accidental.

There is another thump and the sound of something being opened before the voices go away, and very very cautiously, Anna pushes at the lid of her crate.

It opens, just slightly.

But it is enough to give her some hope.

Anna eyes the corridor with care; this ships is not a passenger vessel, not big enough for her to get lost in a crowd, so the cameras set in the halls are cause for wary concern. Why do they need cameras if they're not a passenger ship?

She has listened when the crew comes into the hold; usually it's the same three, cargo workers she suspects, who are talking amongst themselves about the ship's crew, the captain, someone they call Company Boy—it sounds rude, but maybe they mean it affectionately? It's hard to tell without seeing their faces to go with the tone of voice—and learned some things. She is on the Degasi, and the journey is going to be a long one. She doesn't know the details, but she thinks she's been on the ship a week now, stealing from crates instead of venturing out of the hold.

But she knows she can't do this forever. She's cold—she's always gotten chilled easily, and though the hold is rated as 'comfortable' it's not warm—and she's had to take some of the medical supplies she found to treat what she could of the scratches on her back from the fencing.

She also takes small nutrient bars and bottles of water, but she is getting so tired of those. Which is part of why she is trying to find a way to the galley, or a pantry near the galley, that isn't watched. She feels a little bit of guilt for planning to steal from these people, but she doesn't think it's a good idea to expose herself yet.

Or at all, if she can help it.

She squints a little at the camera, suspicious. She has seen this model before, and usually when they are active, you can see a small light. She cannot see the light, but she isn't sure it's safe.

Anna hesitated. Then sticks her hand into the corridor and waves. These cameras move, or they should, but this one remains dark, remains still.

After a moment, she decides to just go for it, and steps into the empty hallway.

“A ghost on the ship?” Adrian says in amusement. “This ship was newly commissioned specifically for this mission, how would it acquire a ghost already?”

“I'm tellin ya, I saw something,” Besker argues. “It came out of the laundry room, all white and floating!”

“You had four helpings of the mixed-berry jam last night before bed,” Kinsie points out with a snicker. “I bet you were just having a sugar hallucination.”

Besker looks grumpy, and Adrian hides his smile. After three months on the ship, he feels that he is decently close to most of them. This isn't the first time he's heard one of them mention a ghost, but he finds it hard to take it seriously.

“More likely some of the other crew are involved in a long-running prank,” says First Mate Jims. “Long voyage like this? We're lucky it's only ghost pranks. I've been on a military ship, and some of that shit got so elaborate, you'd go around with a baseball bat, ready to hit the next person who jumped out at you.”

Kinsie snickers, and the topic turns away from the 'ghost'. But Adrian does not miss the small, thoughtful frowns on the faces of Captain Harren and Dr. Montblanc.

Anna presses herself back into the shadows of the hall and holds her breath. Most people sleep at this time, she's learned their routines, but every now and again, one of them will get up for a late snack, or wander the halls because they struggle to sleep.

On the one hand, she is empathetic; she cannot sleep deeply herself, and her constant state of paranoid exhaustion has led her to make some questionable decisions.

On the other, it's frustrating; she just wants to trade her dirty blanket for a clean one in the laundry, and get a quick wash while no one else is in their bathing facilities.

She hears footsteps approach and holds her breath, sliding very slowly down until she's as small as she can get.

“Hm... perhaps I should just go to bed...”

She knows this voice; of all the people on the ship, he is the one who is often up the latest. She thinks this is Company Boy—the words are said with affection now, suggesting that it's no longer an insult, but a friendly nickname—and she wishes she knew it was safe to say something to him. His voice is soft and accented, and kind.

But she keeps her hands over her mouth until she hears him walk away, then lets out her breath in a long, tired sigh.

Maybe she will attempt to wash and get a new blanket tomorrow. This is too stressful.

“The stories are too consistent,” the captain says, leaning against the medbay wall as Liesse sorts out her patient notes. “Either there is a ghost, or we've got a stowaway.”

Liesse slants a glance at her old friend, then sighs. She knows Z'lician Harren too well; this is a mystery, and Z'lician has never been fond of those.

“If we have a stowaway, they are being very careful,” Liesse points out. “It is impressive on a ship this small. Also foolish; one would think a stowaway would know better than to select a long-term research ship to hide upon.”

“So you think it's a ghost?”

“Nein. But we have no proof, and people do hallucinate when they are deprived of sleep,” Liesse sighs, shaking her head a little. “Which this lot seems to have taken as a challenge. If my hair was not already gray, I am certain many of them would cause it.”

Z'lician snorts, then sighs, rubbing their bald head in agreement.

“Has anyone tried to fix the dead cameras in that one hall?” Liesse asks.

“They've tried, but there was some sort of design oversight, and we can't get them to connect to the main feed. I've been thinking of assigning some of out night owls to a patrol shift, but admittedly, I don't see the point.”

Liesse nods in understanding and sighs. A stowaway is the most likely option, all things considered. A collective hallucination wouldn't be hard to explain, however; the first person to see the 'ghost' hadn't been quiet about it, and their rough description could have influenced everyone else.

“If it is a person, I admit, they're smart enough to stay under the radar. If they keep doing this, I don't mind pretending I don't know about them,” Z'lician says after a long moment. “But... keep your eyes open, Li. Just in case this is a long con.”

“Ach, you are so paranoid. It has been almost six months, and no one has been harmed.... well, on the ship, in mysterious ways,” Liesse amends after a moment, thinking about the reckless nature of some of the crew. “I will keep watch for this 'ghost', but I do not think there is anything to worry about.”

“...I hope you're right.”

“You know I am.”

“That's seven planets down,” Adrian sighs a little, grimacing at the checklist. “Pity. Zel would have loved the last one, but sentient plants would probably raise hell in unique ways.”

“At least they were polite,” Zoe says dryly. “Remember the third one?”

There is a collective groan from all present, and a few people throw crumpled up balls of paper at her. Zoe holds up her PDA to protect herself, snickering at their misfortune.

“I'm pretty sure we're still trying to forget that one, Zoe,” Dr. Montblanc says repressively. “Half of you came to me with plasma burns from reckless explorations.”

Adrian hides a smile; the doctor is prickly still, but also very correct. They had all been so curious, they'd forgotten one of the first rules of exploration was stick together. And to be fair, it had been a nice world, very bare in spots thanks to the plasma geysers they hadn't known about until too late, but nice.

The world has been crossed off the list for humans, but he is almost certain some of their non-human allies might like it.

“This one's next,” Captain Herran says, gesturing with their laser pointer. “Looks like a water-based planet. About four months out, even at full burn, so we have some time to prepare.”

“Hey, maybe we'll get a planet that we can turn into a vacation spot,” Hitoshi jokes, and holds up his PDA to block the incoming balls of paper as he laughs. “What, we've been out here for months, we could use a vacation!”

“Who knows,” the captain replies, shaking their head a little. “That's all I have at the moment. Anyone else?”

Kinsie leans forward, and the rest of them lean back; Kinsie's eyes have that spark that suggests they are very annoyed.

“Whoever's taking snacks and not logging them needs to cut it out,” they say fiercely. “You're throwing off the ration lists I have for making food!”

There is confused blinking all around the table, but Adrian notices Dr. Montblanc and Captain Harren sharing unreadable looks. He suspects this may tie into the 'ship ghost' that people still claim to see on random nights, that he still thinks is nonsense.

“Someone's pilfering food?” The captain asks. “You're certain?”

“I don't know who, but it's one of you, and it needs to stop,” Kinsie retorts, crossing their arms over their chest. “If you're hungry enough that you need a snack, mark it down! It's not like I'll eat you for doing that!”

Dr. Montblanc purses her lips, and Adrian wonders what is on her mind.

Liesse Montblanc knows her reputation among the crew is formidable; she is pitiless when they own up to injuries from horsing around, even as she and the robo-doc treats them. She knows this is typical on long journeys, but she wishes they could find things to do that don't end in them getting hurt, and she has mentioned this several times to Z'lician, just to vent her frustrations. Z'lician takes the venting in stride, and Liesse is glad she does have someone on the crew she can be completely honest with.

If she is being honest, nonsense aside, the children have somewhat grown on her after almost seven months. There is a varied sense of humor to the lot of them

She also thinks, given more time, she may actually like Mr. Tevish, but he is almost as reserved as she is, and as he is also one of the more careful members of the crew, she rarely sees him outside of meals. What she sees suggests he gets along with everyone, but there is also the suggestion of superficiality; like he is just as wary of getting entangled, and taking steps to keep himself from getting too close.

It doesn't bother her, but she has been watching for a while, and wonders if this is normal for him. She has to admit that it makes her feel just a little sad; he seems to have deliberately put himself outside the rest of the crew, he doesn't seem to have anyone to vent to.

Perhaps she will put herself forward a little more, and see if she can befriend him herself.

Anna stifles a sneeze as she creeps through silent ship hallways; she's waited several days this time, something seems to have upset the ship and made more people wander around at night, so she's had to hope, pray, and do her best to avoid all of them. It's hard; she misses talking to people, but she doesn't want to be caught, so she stays silent, stays hidden, and tries to go back to only stealing from the supply crates.

She isn't sure how long she's been on the ship. Time had been hard to track even before she'd been separated from Trevor, and he'd never cared to really pay attention without reason. She knows it's been a while, she knows they've stopped at uninhabited planets—she's seen out the ship's windows when they've been in orbit—but she doesn't know why, and she's frustrated, terrified that she will never see Trevor again.

It makes her want to give up on secrecy, march up to whoever is in charge, and demand they take her back.

She knows she's being irrational because she's sick; a ship cannot remain in space forever, not with this many people on crew, and if she just maintains patience, she will see her beloved cousin again. But she's so tired of being alone, so tired of being cold, hungry, uncomfortable...

Anna makes herself take as slow a breath as she can, considering her stuffy nose, and let it out. She needs more than the nutrient block and water she pilfered, and that means sneaking up to the pantry.

She feels guilty about this, about all of it, but she wants to live.

Liesse stretches with a small grimace as she pads quietly down the hall towards the pantry. She's been working late again, documenting things for her daughter and grandchildren to send with the next packet of information, and now she wants hot chocolate. It will ease her mind, and help her to sleep, and she is only a little annoyed that she cannot keep the canister in her personal locker.

She doesn't expect to hear the sneezing fit, or the sound of someone hitting their head on the shelving hard enough to make things rattle, and she stops short of the door, mind racing. As far as she is aware, she is the only one awake.

After a moment, Liesse shakes her head, tucking steel gray hair behind her ear. She is being silly and getting herself worked up over nothing. Just because she thinks everyone else is in bed doesn't mean that it's true. And if that sneeze was as hard as it sounded, it's very likely that someone has hurt themselves, and will welcome the attention, even knowing that they will have to face the amused, gentle mockery of their peers come morning.

She pushes the door open, peering through the shelving units, and stops short in surprise.

Unfamiliar green eyes stare back at her, wide with fear and... fever? Yes, Liesse realizes, this girl has a fever, is sick, and badly malnourished from the looks of her. Blood is leaking rapidly from the cut on her forehead, where her face must have met the shelves.

She doesn't look as old as the youngest member of the crew, and that makes Liesse feel sympathetic. So, this scrawny thing was their stealthy stowaway?

Liesse crouches, and puts on her most comforting smile; despite how her peers see her, she knows how to have a gentle bedside manner. They usually just deserve their scoldings.

The young woman looks like she doesn't know how to react, but Liesse has dealt with scared teenagers before. She knows how to approach without making things worse.

“Hello,” Liesse says, her tone gentle. “That looks like it hurts. Can I help you?”

The teenager flinches back, scooting away with her feet, but Liesse knows this section of the room; the shelves go all the way back, the bottom ones are lined with wide, heavy crates, and there is no other exit from the room that will let the other woman avoid Liesse.

“My name is Dr. Liesse Montblanc,” she continues as the teenager hits the back wall and looks around anxiously. “I promise, I won't hurt you. I just want to help you. Will you let me?”

She remains in her crouch, though her knees are starting to ache, as the feverish child—no, not actually a child, but so much younger that Liesse cannot help herself—starts coughing. Her heart hurts a little to see how much she is trying to stifle it, and how tired she is when she can finally draw a breath.

“Come here,” she coaxes gently. “I will help you get better.”

Anna spends two weeks being treated by the doctor. She isn't exactly coherent for most of it, drifting in and out of dreams and memories. Most of the time when she wakes up, the doctor—Dr. Liesse Montblanc, she says, over and over until Anna remembers on her own—is there, watching her. Sometimes, there is a bald, black woman with wary eyes, sometimes other members of the crew are peering at her. Once or twice she wakes up and meets amber eyes, and decides she must be hallucinating, because she's never seen a man as pretty as him.

She usually goes back to sleep quickly, but as she gets better, she is awake for longer hours. The longer she is awake, the more anxious she becomes, even as she starts learning names. Kinsie, the annoyed head cook who seems to have taken mild umbrage of her raiding the pantry to survive; Zoe, Hitoshi, Besker, all scientists who liked to ask questions, but never waited for her answers.

Mr. Adrian Tevish, a biochemist who honestly looks like he would have been more at home at a fancy party than on this sort of ship, but who always offers her a kind smile, even though she cannot help but go shy around him.

She officially meets the captain when she is able to stay awake for several hours, and amends an earlier thought. Captain Z'lician Harren looks feminine, but Dr. Liesse has said they are not. Rather, the captain seems to eschew gender entirely, which Anna envies, just a little.

“So, are you ready to talk about your adventures now?”

Anna tries not to flinch, looking up as the captain settles on a stool by the bed. Even seated they are tall, and intricate tattoos swirl around their bald head, a beautiful display of cultural artwork. They don't seem angry; Captain Harren has sat here several times now and never once have they seemed angry at Anna. She hopes this means that she is not in too much trouble, but the captain is harder for her to read than most people, and that makes her even more anxious.

She nods timidly; this has been inevitable since the night she accepted Dr. Liesse's hand, and help, and she is honestly feeling well enough to answer questions, though she really doesn't know where to start.

“So why did you stow away on the ship, Anna?”

Anna looked over at Dr. Liesse, who is sitting close at hand. She suspects that if she gets too worked up, captain or not, there will be a heated exchange. She considers the question carefully, then sighs a little, and ducks her head slightly.

“My cousin's an idiot,” she says, still just annoyed enough about the incident despite the passage of time, to throw Trevor under the metaphorical bus.

It earns her two small snorts, and she glances up to see amusement on both faces.

“Oh?” the captain prompts.

“He thought it would be a good idea to grab and run.”

“And you ran with him?”

Anna shrugs and looks back down at the soft blanket. There is a subtle pattern woven in, and she lets her eyes trace it for a moment. It's not the first time she's questioned her decision to run away with Trevor once he was eighteen. Technically, he could be charged with kidnapping her, if her parents had cared enough to look for them. She had been only fourteen when he'd prevailed on her to leave...

“He's all I've got,” she says softly. “Or... he was...”

She misses him bitterly, and she knows that he can't be handling this well. Any other times they've gotten separated, for minutes, hours, or days—the longest at one week—he'd been frantic, he'd yelled, she'd yelled, and at the end of it, they'd both been okay. But it's been so much longer, she heavily doubts that he's coping well.

“I slipped while we were running, and hit the fence at the spaceport. It was raining, and I didn't die, so I just thought it was shorted out. And that if I... if I hid for a bit, eventually they'd stop looking,” she continues after a moment, letting out a shaky breath. “I... didn't mean to fall asleep in the crate.”

“We were wondering why someone would stow away on a research vessel,” the captain says, running a hand over their tattoos. “Granted, for a while it was about equal between ghost and stowaway... While I'd like to turn around and drop you at a habitable planet, I can't. We're at least eight months out from the last phase gate.”

Her heart sank; she was so far away from Trevor, and after almost a year—a year—he's likely given up hope of finding her again... What that would do to him, she isn't certain, she just knows it's bad.

“we've got one more planet officially in this sector, but it's a couple months away. After that, we should be able to make for habitable space again... but what are we going to do with you in the meantime?”

“...she'll be my student,” Dr. Liesse says abruptly, making both captain and Anna jump. “Or she's the ship's gopher, we can say that. A last second addition, and the ensuing paperwork got lost in the shuffle.”

Captain Harren rubs their chin thoughtfully, then nods slowly.

“How old are you?”

“Ah.. sixteen... I think? It's... it's been hard to keep track... Even... even before here.”

Dr. Liesse mutters something under her breath that Anna decides she doesn't need to know. It sounds rude enough that Trevor would like it, which makes her wince a little, and lower her head. She doesn't need to cry. No. No she doesn't.

“...bit young, but workable,” and the captain sighs a little. “All right. We'll add you to the ship roster. Tevish is going to have questions, though.”

“If Mr. Tevish has issues with it, he can come talk to me,” Dr. Liesse says with a thin smile. “I am happy to explain things to him.”

“I don't doubt,” Captain Harren chuckles slightly. “How much longer does she need to convalesce?”

“Not much. I was going to start with light work tomorrow.”

“Sounds good.”

“Um!” Anna blushes as both adults stare at her, and swallows hard. “Is... is there a way to get a message back? I... my cousin's an idiot, but we're all the other has a-and... and I need him to know that I'm okay.”

“We can do that,” Captain Harren says with a nod. “We all send weekly messages back. Do you have a PDA of some sort?”

Anna blinks, and shakes her head; she's never had a PDA, they're lucky to just have comm freqs that stay theirs as they hope from planet to planet.

“That will be the first thing we correct,” Dr. Liesse says firmly. “We shall set that up tomorrow, after you have eaten a proper meal.”

Anna ducks her head a little, nods, and feels a tightness in her chest easing. Maybe she won't be able to immediately contact Trevor, but at least this way, he'll know she's alive.

And that will, hopefully, be enough.

Adrian sits next to the young woman as Dr. Montblanc's severe look at the rest of them warns them to be careful. It's escaped no one's mind that their 'ship ghost' was a slip of a girl, badly malnourished and frightened, and none of them really know what to say to her.

He thinks he knows a little, but like the rest, he feels awkward. He can't condemn her for what is apparently an accident, and he doesn't blame her for continuing to hide when she'd realized there was no safe place to reach on those planets they'd been able to land on. But he's not sure how to talk to her.

She is, he decides for what must be the tenth time since he saw her lying ill in the medbay, cute. She has coppery skin, with a smattering of freckles across her face, bright green eyes, and auburn hair that coils and crinkles around her face, despite her attempts at taming it. She is also very clearly frail, and unnerved by their staring.

After a moment, he turns to her, and carefully pats her hand to get her attention; she looks up, blushing a little, and Adrian smiles.

“So, I was in the middle of telling you about Zel, wasn't I? When he was nine, he-”

“Trevor! I'm okay! I slipped in the rain and ended up at the spaceport, and uh.. well, I'm currently on a ship named the Degasi. They're researching for Tevish Terraforming, of the Apollo trans-gov, and supposed to be out in deep space, beyond the phase gates, for another year. At least, that was the best estimate I got for how long it would take to get back to Midiyo.

“I promise, I'm okay. I'm not in the brig, and I think if we get back to Midiyo, or wherever they're going to make port of call when this is done, I'll be allowed to leave without a fuss.

“I might even get paid! It's a weird idea, but the doctor who found me kind of decided that I was going to be her intern. Or the ship gopher. I think I'm actually both? Either way means I get paid, according to the contracts Mr. Tevish had me sign. That'll make it easier to get off Midiyo when I get back!

“Though, I'm not saying stay on Midiyo; it's a terrible place, you should get out as soon as you can. But send me a message when you leave, so I know where I can find you when we finally get back. Keep me updated, okay? I'll try and send messages every week with everyone else. I know you're not going to get them for months and months, but I hope you check your messages, and I hope these find you safely.

“Um... Mr. Tevish suggested that I tell you to look into getting to the Apollo trans-gov if you can. He says the trade schools there have regular free classes on how to run tier one cargo-haulers, and it's a good, steady job you can play at basically any trans-gov.

“Mr. Tevish is nice. The whole crew is... well, unnerving? They mean well, I think, but so far, I really only feel comfortable with the captain, Dr. Liesse, and Mr. Tevish.

“I know you probably blame yourself for what happened. It... yeah, it was your fault, Trevor, you didn't listen to me. But I'm not mad at you, okay? I miss you. It sucks being this far apart, and I want to get back as soon as I can, but I can't promise anything because these people are under contract. They say it's up to Mr. Tevish, and he says that once we learn about this last planet, then the ship can turn for home.

“...I love you Trevor. Don't do anything stupid, okay? We have to meet again, like we always do.”

“Zel, I hope you get the data-packet intact, but if you don't, I've saved a copy to my PDA for you when I get home. They didn't look like flytraps or pitcher plants, I can tell you that much, and I'm honestly pretty sure that's a planet we don't need to get back to. Or send to our allies. Enemies, maybe, but not allies.

“Our mystery ghost finally has a name, by the way. I know I told you about this a couple weeks ago, but her name is Anna, and we finally have the bare bones of a story. She ended up on the ship by accident, the poor thing, and has been just trying to survive ever since. I rather wish she'd approached us before we'd left the bounds of the phasegates, but she's lived with only her cousin for protection, and she's plainly used to hiding as her defense mechanism.

“It's been interesting. Dr. Montblanc has taken a particular shine to her, and the glares I thought were concerning before have nothing on when she's staring Kinsie down. I would be amused if I wasn't intimidated. But Anna seems to be comfortable enough around me that I only get watched, not the death stare. I'll take it.

“She's a timid girl. I'm hopeful that by the time we get back to habitable space and can do realtime connections, she'll be both healthier and have come a little more out of her shell.

“I'll send another message next week, perhaps by then we'll have learned a little more about our potential planet, and our newest ship member.

“...ah. Yes, before I forget. Because they don't want her to get in trouble for what seems to be a complete accident, Dr. Montblanc has basically 'hired' Anna as an assistant. I imagine she'll forward you the relevant information, with a request to formulate an account for her. Just in case, I'll be sending it as well.

“I love you all. Talk at you next week.”

“Oh, you would laugh meine tochter. The crew does not know how to handle the fact that their ghost has turned out to be a malnourished eighteen year old. Kinsie has looked particularly offended all week, like she thinks the universe has played a joke on her.

“Anna is a good child, and I think once we have corrected the worst of the malnutrition, she may gain a few inches in one last growth spurt. She will never be tall, but she won't be the size of Eliza when I left.

“We are heading towards a water-based planet next, which I do not think will be human suitable, but we only have preliminary probe data at the moment. There may be yet-undiscovered land masses, and I know a majority of the crew is hoping for a chance to take a few days and decompress form the stresses of this job. I admit, it would be nice to feel sunshine on my skin, and breathe air that is not recycled.

“I hope things are going well for you and Eliza. If you can, pass my love to your siblings, though I know their jobs make them just as hard to reach as mine do. I admit, I'm looking forward to being able to be at home for a month or two before going back to work...

“I'll talk to you next week, my dear.”

Anna doesn't really mean to keep hiding, but the people on the ship are so pushy. Not all of them, no, Dr. Liesse, Captain Harren, and Mr. Tevish all know the meaning of restraint, but everyone else keeps poking at her, nudging, asking questions she doesn't want to answer, or doesn't know how to answer. She's only been a 'member' of the crew for a week, but already she regrets having to come out of hiding.

Which is how she finds herself back in her cargo bay hiding place, trying to breathe after basically running away from Kinsie and two of the other scientists, who'd been hellbent on trying to do something with her hair. She doesn't like people touching her without permission, but they keep ignoring her, and saying she'll like it when they're done, but...

She's shaking, tucked into the darkest corner she can find, wrapped in a blanket she's borrowed from the medbay because it helps her to stay calm.

“....are you okay?”

Anna jolts and throws the nearest object at hand, which happens to be her half-full water bottle. Fortunately, Mr. Tevish has fast reflexes, and he dodges, but she flushes and looks away, certain that now he must be angry with her. It's reflex, to throw things at the sound of what's frightened her, but he doesn't deserve that...

“Do I need to go talk to people about boundaries?” he asks, and his voice is unexpectedly gentle. “I'd apologize for them, but really, there's no excuse for this... Are you hurt?”

She shakes her head a little, and glances at him tentatively. He's gone down on one knee and looks... concerned. Something about that calms her down, eases the panic a little bit. It's strange; before him and Dr. Liesse, Trevor was the only one who could calm her just by talking. It makes her wonder if maybe he'll become someone like Trevor for her... and while the thought makes her flinch internally, because no one can replace Trevor, another part of her relaxes.

“Hm... here, why don't you stick with me for a little bit,” he suggests, offering his hand. “You can help me sort some files until Dr. Montblanc is ready to teach you some more. Sound okay?”

Anna hesitates, nods, and timidly fits her hand into his.

Somehow....

It feels right.

“Hi Trevor, it's been a week, so here I am again! I hope you're still checking your messages by the time these hit. I know it'll probably be too little too late at that point, but maybe knowing I'm okay will let you pull yourself out of whatever hole you've fallen down.

“It's... interesting here. Captain Harren, Dr. Liesse, and Mr. Tevish have talked to them about not pushing me as hard. I don't think anyone was doing it to be mean; months long trips kind of mean you're all in the other's pockets and learning about things you do and don't want to know. Being... 'new' in a sense, I'm their most interesting person at the moment. Which means they all want to talk to me and find out things they already know about each other.

“I don't really want to talk about things they way they want me too, though. So I spend more time either working with the doctor, or helping Mr. Tevish. I'd help the captain, but they've got classified stuff that I'm not allowed to see, so mostly I just hide with her and study the stuff Dr. Liesse put on my new PDA if she, or Mr. Tevish are too busy.

“We're going to be at a water planet next, did I tell you last time? This ship is looking for more human-habitable planets, or some for non-human allies. Mr. Tevish says after we learn about this last planet, he's willing to give the order to head back so we can get to a planet.

“...Mr. Tevish is nicer than I thought he'd be. He's... really pretty. Like. Really pretty, Trevor. But he's not stuck up at all. He's... he's nice. He's always making sure I'm comfortable, that I've eaten, that I've napped... He can be a little bossy, but I think he sees me like a younger sibling, and it reminds me a lot of you, actually, so I don't... I don't mind it as much.

“....I think really like him. He reminds me a little bit of you sometimes, but it's... it's not the same. I'm not sure I can really put it into words. Sometimes I'm with him, and I miss you so much it hurts, but other times he... he makes it better. Some.. dumb little joke, or an anecdote about his siblings, and... and it gets a little less painful. I know that's kind of a terrible thing to say, especially since I don't know if you'll get these, but...

“A-anyways, Dr. Liesse is also teaching me stuff. She lets me play with math, and while she insists I study from medical texts, she's not... bossy about it the way Mama was. She suggests I study, and doesn't mind me asking questions when something doesn't make sense. It... kind of makes me miss actual school, you know? Well, no, I suppose you wouldn't, you never liked school.

“Oh, and Dr. Liesse showed me the calendar on my PDA, so I was able to figure out how long it's been, and how long it'll be. Days blur together out here just as much as they did on a planet... But it's... kind of nice to have a way of tracking time again. At least I was able to reassure them about my age, a little?

“I didn't realize how long it'd been. Though I guess I didn't think I'd ever see sixteen, let alone eighteen, so underestimating my own age isn't all that surprising. We've really been trans-gov hoping for four years Trevor, can you believe it? I'm as old as you were when you convinced me the only way we were ever going to be safe was if we left together.

“It's not your fault that things went the way they did. And it's not my fault either. We got failed by the adults in our lives, by a trans-gov that didn't care, and people that were overworked and underpaid by an exploitative government. I still... I still wish things had been better, though.

“Sorry, this one is a lot longer than I meant it to be. I'm still okay, and Dr. Liesse is pleased that I'm putting on some weight, even if I don't eat a lot in one sitting. It's weird being able to eat until I'm full...

“I love you Trevor. Be safe.”

Adrian isn't exactly surprised to find Anna hiding in his cabin; she's quickly learned that it is sacrosanct, even more than Dr. Montblanc's—mostly because the doctor can be interrupted for medical matters.

She seems to take comfort in a hiding place that the other crew can't barge into, and he has to admit, he doesn't mind her hiding in his room. If anything, he prefers it to her hiding in the hold, tucked against the cold metal exterior of the ship. She's still much too skinny, and he knows she gets cold easily.

As far as he can tell, she never touches his things, just makes a nest out of his blankets, and hides in it. While he remembers being startled the first time he walked in and found her as a lump on his bed, once he learns why—and talks with the crew about boundaries, again—he gives her permission to come and hide whenever she needs to.

Which has somehow turned into her being there almost every night. Oh, she goes back to Dr. Montblanc's cabin to sleep, but she seems to take comfort from sitting with him for a while before that. He finds he likes it a great deal himself; for a little while before he sleeps, he has Anna all to himself, and doesn't have to worry about whether she's being pressed to talk, or if she's abandoned her food because the galley got too loud. He can look at her, and know that she is safe.

He's given sincere thought to inviting her to stay overnight, but he knows what the crew will say about that. And while he's not going to say they're wrong, he's also not going to do anything stupid. Dr. Montblanc has made it perfectly clear that Anna needs friends, and if he's being honest, so does he. He likes the crew, more or less, but he's never quite been able to drop his guard with them the way he can with Anna.

Part of him finds it funny that a random stowaway has gotten closer to him in three weeks than the rest of the crew in eight months, but there is a quality about her that is comforting. Soothing.

He sits at the end of his bed and waits for her to emerge from the blanket cocoon. She doesn't look like she's been crying, but he's not sure he's ever seen a day where she doesn't look utterly exhausted, and he wishes there was a way to help her catch up on what must be years of lost sleep.

But since he can't, he gives her a smile, and feels thrilled when she smiles shyly back.

“Would you like to hear more about Athena tonight?” he asks

When Anna's eyes light with curiosity, he moves up the bed to sit next to her, and brings his PDA with to show her pictures of his home and family.

It isn't the first time Anna has fallen asleep on him. Despite her best attempts, she tends to end up randomly falling asleep, usually when she is sitting with Mr. Adrian—he insists she try and call him by name, but she feels too awkward still to leave off the 'mister'—or Dr. Liesse. Sleeping around them feels like sleeping near Trevor; she is safe, and if anything wants to bother her, it will have to go through them first.

Dr. Liesse said, when she asked, that it was because she was starting to relax, to release her anxiety, and that it was likely she'd fall asleep more often when she felt safe. It isn't that she is lazy, which is comforting, though she's not entirely certain she believes Dr. Liesse when she says it's about recovering from trauma.

Mr. Adrian is easier to fall asleep around, if she's being honest. He feels more like Trevor, and fewer people bother him about things. Dr. Liesse doesn't typically get bothered unless there's something medical, but Anna has noticed that Mr. Adrian gets poked even less.

It makes her wonder if he isn't a little bit lonely. They'd all been on the ship so long, but he doesn't seem to consider the people around him as friends. He'll chat, he'll discuss sciencey things that go over her head in ten words or less, but... he never talks much about his siblings to the crew the way he does to her. He never shares his mother's recipes with Kinsie, who cooked for all of them, but she knows how to make Dr. Tevish's chocolate chip cookies, and has even tried her hand at it a couple times when they were both too awake to sleep.

That night had been nice, feeling all... mischievous and silly, sneaking to the galley when really they didn't need to sneak, but he'd suggested sneaking and it had sounded funny, especially since she actually knew how to get to the galley without stepping into view of any of the cameras....

He'd been slightly alarmed, but mostly delighted with that, especially when the leftover cookies had turned up the next day for dessert. It had annoyed Kinsie, but Anna had found it difficult to care when he smiled like that at her...

In any case, waking up leaning on him isn't new. Waking up, half-sprawled over him, however, very much is. She starts to push upright, but goes still when she realizes they are in his cabin, and he is....

Napping?

Anna settles uncertainly, and tentatively curls her fingers in the loose fabric of his shirt. She thinks back over the past few weeks, and realizes that she's never seen him nap before. He's let her nap in his bed, leaning against him while he reads a book on his PDA, or he's brought he back to the room she shares with Dr. Liesse, but this is... the first time she's been awake while he's not.

She's never woken up being held by him.

It's strange. She doesn't know how to react to it, though she thinks... she thinks she likes it. The weight of his arm isn't the same as Trevor's, but she feels the same as when Trevor would hold her while they tried to snatch a few moments of rest. Protected. Cared for.

Safe.

Anna lets her eyes close after a moment, and shifts so that she's a bit more comfortable. Her head is on his chest, and she hears the steady thumping of his heartbeat, the soft whoosh of his breath.

No, he's not the same as Trevor. As much as she hates to think it, as much as she initially shies away, a tiny part of her whispers very softly, that being held by Mr. Adrian is better.

And before she can question why, she is drawn back down into the soft darkness of exhausted, dreamless sleep.

“Anna's adjusting nicely. It was harder to get the rest of the crew to back off, but they've been doing much better recently, and Anna seems to be slowly warming to them now that they're not trying to pry every facet of her past out of her, or touch her without permission. Though I admit, it was getting kind of funny to watch them speak before she saw them and then have to duck her PDA. I think she nailed Kinsie three times in one day. She always apologized, but the direct route certainly seemed to get the point across.

“She still does fall asleep at random points, but Dr. Montblanc says that's a good sign towards her personal recovery. And also according to the doctor, she's starting on a proper amount of weight. She no longer feels twig light, which makes her occasionally difficult to carry when she falls asleep, but I feel better knowing that she's improving.

“We're about two weeks out from the planet now, 4546B, and we're getting bits of data the closer we get. It's smaller than Earth was, and there's not many land-masses to be found. It really would be a world for boats, I think, just going from the basic information we have now. There's two poles, and it seems to have both Earthlike gravity, as well as a breathable atmosphere. There seems to be regular meteorological events at the poles that are heavily unpleasant, but moving towards the equator, the weather seems to mellow out a bit.

“Captain Harren wants us to be more cautious this time, so the plan is to settle into orbit for a few days, and then explore in teams of three per region if we find space to actually go groundside at. So far, the biggest swathes of land actually appear to be at the poles, which I am not a fan of... It would certainly make it hard to sell as a 'resort' planet, though I suppose if people didn't mind living on houseboats...

“Anna's been sending messages to her cousin as far as I know. They certainly seem to be helping her stay optimistic. Neither one of them had any form of PDA with camera, just very basic commlinks, so unfortunately, I can't do more than offer you that, which you'll find attached along with a message from Anna for Trevor, if you decide to get in touch. She thought it would smooth the way, and I suspect she's not wrong.

“I will say, having someone to mother seems to make Dr. Montblanc a little less... unnerving. Oh, she still glares if you're stupid, but she seems to go to great pains to avoid her sharp tone when Anna's nearby. If I didn't think it'd get me in trouble, I'd tease her, I think... but it's a bad idea to be on your doctor's hit list, so I'll just be amused in private.

“Love to everyone, and hopefully I'll have further information about 4546B to share in about a week.”

“Hi Trevor~ If you've gotten this message it's because Mr. Adrian sent it to his family, and they decided to try and contact you on my behalf. I don't know if you've been checking or getting the stuff I've sent before now, so I'll give you as much of a highlight reel as I can.

“I kind of slipped and fell, and accidentally stowed away on the Degasi, which is a research vessel, looking for new planets to share either with other humans, or with the non-human allies. It's part of the Apollo trans-gov, and there's maybe thirty people on this ship, including me. I'm not in a brig or anything, I'm okay, and I think I'm even going to get paid for this? I'll really know more about that when we get back to habitable space.

“But that's the hard part; It's going to be a year or more before I do. We really are way out in the fringes, and... well, they were already close to this last planet before I got sick and needed to break cover, so the agreement was I'd help out around the ship, and they'll bring me back to a safe place once we're able to use phasgate travel again.

“Anyways, Mr. Adrian is really nice, and he suggested that I tell you to look into getting cargo-hauler certified on Athena, since they don't charge for the classes there, and cargo work is a steady job that pays well on basically every trans-gov.

“I'm sending messages every week, Trevor, I just don't know when they're going to hit because we're way beyond the phasegates. Mr. Adrian is sending this one to his parents because he can actually do is faster than the ship's group messages. Keep checking, and I'll let you know when we've turned around and are starting back!

“Be safe Trevor. Love you!”

“All hands, brace for impact!”

It's barely seconds later when a vicious something slams into the ship from beneath, tearing through to the other side in moments. Anna's only saving grace is that she was close to the escape pods to begin with, wanting isolation more than the comfort of Mr. Adrian's cabin. She is able to throw herself into one immediately, before the static of white-noise panic can render her immobile.

All she has on her is her PDA and her favorite blanket, but the training they'd given her for an emergency like this tells her to stay in the safety of the escape pod, to not wait for people to join her.

She waits anyways, three, four, five breaths; she can't just leave, can she? These people accept her, help her; leaving them to die doesn't feel right.

The door seals automatically after a further five seconds, before Anna can decide to leave the pod, and she drops into the seat, yanking the harness down as she feels the ship shaking.

She has to have faith, and she closes her eyes as the escape pod detaches, hurtling down towards the plant. Anna has not prayed to a god of any sort in years, but she prays now. Surely she will not be the only person to reach the water.

Surely, she will not be left alone.

Adrian throws open the top of their pod and breathes in air that stings of salt, flinching on reflex as a wave of water hits him full in the face. Their landing has been rough, and bobbing like a cork hasn't helped in the slightest; he is very close to losing what lunch he'd managed to ingest before everything had, quite literally, exploded in his face.

Thank goodness for Dr. Montblanc's ability to stay calm in an emergency. He probably wouldn't have made it to the escape pod in the first place if she hadn't dragged him along with her, all things considered. His first thought had been to run around looking for Anna, but Dr. Montblanc hadn't allowed it.

The whiplash from hitting the water had knocked them both unconscious for a few moments, and Adrian had come around first, which was why he is able to pop the ceiling hatch. In a moment he will go back down and see if Dr. Montblanc is awake.

In a moment, once he figures out just what happened...

The fresh air is helping, even if the bobbing doesn't, and he slowly manages to start getting a look around; they've hit somewhere near the equator, if the heat is any indication, but as his stomach settles, and his mind clears of the panic static fuzz, he finds his dismay growing.

They are in the middle of an ocean, ship debris falling all around them, and he cannot spy land.

Anna's pod nudges up against land at some point after she's gone unconscious, and she wakes to the sounds of water slapping the hull, and something walking over the top with steps that almost... ping?

She lifts her head weakly; it hurts, she'd ended up hitting the side of the harness pretty hard. She remembers Kinsie and Besker joking that she's too small for the restraints to really help, and this has certainly proved it; her head aches, and it takes her several minutes to find the button that releases the harness. She slithers to the floor, legs refusing to hold her up, and decides that laying on the cool metal for a few minutes can't hurt.

It takes her a further ten to use her seat to stand, and then she peers up the hatch first, looking warily for the thing that had been walking on the pod. When nothing presents itself, she slowly pushes the side door open, and flinches back on reflex; the heat is immediate and lovely, but unexpected, and she's not sure how to handle it.

She looks around uneasily, her pod has found a small island by the looks of it, if only barely, and she can feel the water—a glance over her shoulder at the wide ocean behind shows that it is churning harshly, which suggests more of the ship has landed in the area—trying to sweep the pod right back out into it.

With what feels like only moments to do anything, Anna manages to get into the emergency compartment and throw everything onto her blanket, before bolting outside with it awkwardly bundled in her arms. She retreats farther up the beach as quickly as she can, warily eyeing the pod as it washes against the shore again, then slides back into the water. She winces a little; she should have taken the time to close the door, but not the water is pouring in, and the pod is sinking. She doesn't even know if the power was on, if the radio or locator works, and now she is losing all of it...

She turns in a slow circle, hugging her awkward bundle of items in her arms, sees a thin path up, and decides to follow it.

She knows the basics of survival. She has never done this alone, but she knows how. She can keep surviving until someone comes to find her.

And she refuses to entertain the idea that she may be the only one who made it off the ship. Because she knows if she does that, she will break.

She cannot afford to break yet.

“Nothing,” Adrian says with a small noise of frustration. “There's a signal from one other pod, but whoever's in it isn't answering their radio.”

“There's a chance, Mr. Tevish, that the radio was damaged in their landing,” Dr. Montblanc points out, still sounding a bit dazed. “It may be that a location ping is the best we can hope for...”

The scanner says she has a mild concussion, and it worries him greatly. Selfish though it seems, he really doesn't like the idea that the only doctor around is hurt in a manner that might compromise her effectiveness. Admittedly, he likes even less that he doesn't know where Anna is, that they only have the ping from one lifepod.

He makes himself take a breath; he's inherited his father's temper, but nothing that has happened is anyone's fault, and lashing out at Dr. Montblanc because he is afraid isn't going to help. He's going to need all the help he can get to survive until rescue, and he cannot afford to alienate his only companion.

“Right. Let's... let's take stock,” he says, once he feels a little calmer. “I'll look through the storage and see if it was properly maintained. Are you feeling any better, doctor?”

“Some,” she replies as he kneels to get at the emergency storage. “Though I am having a hard time figuring out if the nausea is because of the concussion, or the bobbing of the lifepod...”

“...entirely fair,” and he manages a wry smile. “It's calmed down some since we hit, and since all the pieces stopped landing around us, at least. I'm not entirely sure where the current is taking us at the moment, but unfortunately, our anchor is... well, not functioning. Ah!”

He was hoping to find a repair tool, and his luck has rewarded him. It only has half a charge, but hopefully that will be enough to repair their anchor motor. At least then they won't be in danger of floating too far from the other signal, and can, if their luck holds out, find who else has survived.

Anna does her best to keep track of time, to ration her food and water, and not panic. But it is hard. She has never been a big fan of cities, of all the noise the bustle, and the people, but they have been the best places for basically everything. And most of the time, the noise has made it so that she didn't really have to think.

Even when she did, Trevor was there, to help her not be afraid.

Being alone, with the only sounds being water, wind, and the occasional cry of the strange birds on the island, she has too much time to think, to be afraid. What if she is alone? What if she is the only survivor, with no way of contacting anyone because she hadn't been able to keep her pod from sinking?

It is easier to let the days blur together, to pretend that it hasn't really been all that long and she is going to be found soon. It lets her explore the small island, the fear tucked into a box at the back of her mind.

The cave is a good hiding place; it shelters her from the breeze at night, and contains a strange structure that she thinks might thrum gently. It helps her sleep, oddly enough, even though the device itself seems to be powered off, and she's not all that sure what it would do if it wasn't. The island hosts plants, being barely big enough for that, and a few strange, four-legged creatures that bite, and learn quickly that she will kick them if they get too close.

At night, it becomes beautiful; everything glows with its own light. Anna is not ashamed to admit to herself that when she cannot sleep, just sitting in the mouth of the cave and looking at the bioluminescent plants is mesmerizing.

Observing the animals—the nipping ones and the odd birds—help her figure out that some of the trees held a water-like liquid. It tasted weird, but it hadn't killed her, and it let her stretch out her purified water stores even more. Some plants are edible too, though they have an odd after taste and don't do as much as the nutrient bars can to fill her stomach.

Her food stores are dwindling though, no matter how hard she tries to preserve them. Soon, she will run out of food and water, and then it is only a matter of time...

“All right, we've got sea glides, what's left of our food and water, the location turned on for this so we can find it again...”

Liesse tunes Mr. Tevish out, and looks across the vast ocean they'd hit. They've spent a week and some getting what they can from the local resources, and it is sheer luck that they've landed in a place that is shallow enough to safely free-dive. Even though some of the fish are hostile, for the most part, getting bits and pieces needed to make movement easier hasn't been all that difficult.

The sheer lack of response from anyone else worries her more than she is willing to let on, but she is also pleasantly surprised by Mr. Tevish; she hadn't expected he would step up like this. But he's been the one to get their fabricator working, to figure out what they will need to make some basic survival supplies, and while she can tell he is constantly fretting over the way others have failed to report in—they are both worried about Anna, though Liesse thinks there is more to it on his side—he isn't letting it consume him. Their survival is his priority.

They have decided, after some debate, to try and find the one lifepod that has seemed to survive the crash other than their own. It has stayed in one place, though its occupant hasn't responded to any of their hails; Liesse is half-convinced it's simply that their radio doesn't work, though her more pessimistic side suggests that the occupant is dead, whoever they had been.

She refuses to dwell on that, however, and slides into the water when Mr. Tevish does; the seaglides will make getting to the lifepod faster, and maybe, just maybe, they will find someone else.

Anna isn't certain it's Dr. Liesse and Mr. Adrian until they've pulled off the facemasks. She wonders if she's started to hallucinate, caught between hope and fear, unable to move, almost unable to breathe.

The problem is neatly solved by Mr. Adrian, who crosses the tiny beach and sweeps her up into his arms, holding her tightly. For a brief moment she thinks he might kiss her, but all he does it hold her, pressing his face against her hair as she tries to convince her brain to do something.

“Oh thank God,” he murmurs, and she can feel his breath, warm against her skin. “I was so worried about you!”

Anna's paralysis flees, and she wraps her arms around him, buries her face against his shoulder, and lets herself break.

Adrian isn't going to pretend he's been anything other than afraid for Anna; primarily she is his responsibility, and the thought of her dying, of him having to somehow find her cousin and explain how badly he'd failed at protecting her, was unpalatable. But mostly, it is simply because he likes her.

No.

He loves her.

Finding her alive is such a relief, and it doesn't surprised him one little bit that she bursts into tears, that she clings and cries until there was nothing left, until she's gone mostly limp in exhaustion and sleep. In her shoes, he probably would have done the same. Two weeks thinking she is all alone, that she will die of hunger or thirst, or go mad because of the solitude...

It really isn't surprising that Anna has cried herself unconscious. It isn't even that much of a surprise that her death grip on him hasn't let up; he has no problems with continuing to hold her while she sleeps. It comforts him to feel the warmth of her, hear the raspy breathing, and know that she is still alive, that he hasn't failed to save her.

He shoves those thoughts away fiercely. They are with her now, and she is not alone; he will make sure she feels safe again, cared for and protected until rescue comes.

He knows Captain Harren; they would have gotten an SOS out before the ship fully decompressed, being too stubborn to have done otherwise. But that means they will be here a year at least, likely longer. They need to figure out what their next steps are...

“We need structure,” Dr. Montblanc says finally. “Proper shelter, grow-beds, and food. If we can salvage parts of the ship, we can probably build most of these things, and with the abundance of resources, we can probably live sustainably until we get rescued.”

Adrian nods a little, letting his hand absently smooth across Anna's back. If nothing else, it seems to be helping her to stay asleep, something he knows probably won't be easy for a while. On the ship she struggled; how much worse will her sleep be now?

“If we get down to her lifepod,” and hadn't that been a scare, realizing the pod had sunk even as the island had come into view? “we can probably salvage all the metals and tech from that. But we're going to run out of food sooner rather than later, even if we're only eating the bare minimum of calories needed to keep going...”

“And we can't continue to do that if we're going to be swimming everywhere,” Dr. Montblanc says firmly. “It's likely we're going to have to eat the fish we've seen, and possible those birds too, if we can find some way of bringing them into reach.”

Adrian nods again, frowning thoughtfully. He needs to focus on more than just holding Anna; they have to plan and prepare for life until rescue.

“We should prioritize a base of operations,” he says after a moment, pulling his PDA out and flicking through the blueprints. Anna, fortunately, only curls closer, without waking. “I don't believe there's enough room on this island for a proper shelter unless we're using a couple of the multipurpose rooms and stacking them, but if we build in the nearby ocean, we might be able to build what all we need.”

It gets him a small smile of approval, and Adrian has to smile back; imposing Dr. Montblanc is, but forced in even closer confines than the ship, relying on each other for survival, has shown him that she isn't nearly as harsh as he'd spent most of the trip thinking.

“We should likely tow our pod over here as well,” she says thoughtfully. “Until we have the means to get a base built. Not that the cave isn't good shelter, but it's not necessarily warm.”

He isn't going to argue with that. Even with Anna cuddled on top of him, her blanket wrapped around them both, he can still feel the chill as the night sets in. The lifepod will be cramped with three people, but it will be easier to maintain the warmth until they can build a proper living space.

“Right. Salvage hers, tow ours, figure out what all we need to set up a base so that we can stay safe, fed, and alive until rescue comes.”

Unlike Mr. Tevish, Liesse has fully anticipated Anna being exceptionally clingy. She had been given a terrifying shock after starting to settle into a new routine, so wanting to hold on to what is left isn't really that surprising. She will give him credit for exceeding patience, however; Anna has neared hysterics a couple of times, but he manages to talk her down, convince her that she won't be by herself all that long.

Honestly, she wouldn't be left alone at all, if not for the fact that Anna doesn't know how to swim. That is something they are going to have to rectify quickly. But not while on the way to tow their lifepod.

They had agreed to go get the lifepod first, and it is more than a mild struggle to convince the pod to weigh anchor so they can move it with their ropes and seaglides. It takes several hours, and admittedly at the end of it, Liesse is glad to see that little island, to see Anna sitting on the beach, knees tucked to her chest as she waits for them.

She has to hide a smile as Anna practically tackles Mr. Tevish, nearly knocking him back into the water when he reaches the shore. She'd noticed Anna's attachment to him on the ship, and given his own reaction the day before, well, it will be fun to watch them. Do they even realize, she wonders, or is she going to have to intervene and point out the obvious?

Ah, but that is a question for the future, when they won't be so busy. Until it becomes needful, Liesse decides that she will watch and wait, and enjoy the show.

Anna finds that she rather likes swimming. The water is clear enough that she can see where she's going, and there isn't any danger of falling, only of running out of air. Or being pulled along by the current, but that is what sea glides are for.

Finding materials to build with is surprisingly easy. There are metal-rich rocks everywhere they look, and while some of the fish are certainly hostile—they've dubbed one of them a crashfish for its tendency to launch right at them and then explode in their faces—others ignore them completely. Heck, some of them have come up to her—and it seems to be a her alone thing, according to Mr. Adrian and Dr. Liesse—and try to make friends.

They had prioritized better equipment first; knives, rebreathers, better wetsuits, and air tanks all let them go farther, go deeper to find materials, and slowly, their base begins taking shape.

The idea had been to start small, but after comparing the large room and the smaller ones, Anna had pushed a little for them to just save up for the large room, and they could use that as a main hub, instead of trying to figure out how to fit everything into a multipurpose room and build out from there. She hadn't expected them to agree, but Mr. Tevish and Dr. Montblanc had heard her out, debated it for a little bit, then agreed that her idea was sound.

It had left her stunned; they had liked the idea? Trevor had often listened to her, tried to incorporate what she was saying into what they were doing, but about half the time he forgot, and the other half it didn't turn out the way she'd intended...

Having a base in the water is strange, but Anna has to admit, there just isn't enough room on the oddly-shaped island for anything else. Maybe they could have put foundation in the middle, built on top of that, but she has to admit that it's easier to go out and look for things when you just have to open the door and slide out into the water, as opposed to finding a path to the water.

And there is so much in the water to study! Even with being careful, with staying close to Dr. Liesse, or Mr. Adrian, Anna always feels like she comes back with something new that she's noticed, something to talk about while they make dinner, before they go to bed, even when she wakes up in the middle of the night!

She has so many ideas for making the base liveable too, and they both listen intently when she brings them up.

Creepvine fronds make plenty of fabric, and a multipurpose room is about the right size to make a more comfortable bedroom than the slightly annexed corner of the large room. The annex corner can become the showering station, and they can have windows to see out at night, or maybe an observatory, oh, and a room dedicated entirely to the bioreactor, maybe?

The nicest part is that they never make fun of her ideas. A nest pile instead of a bed? Well, as long as there is back support involved somehow, Dr. Liesse says it is a good idea, and Mr. Adrian suggested turning it into something like a permanent blanket fort. Windows? The sea life is gorgeous, and it is worth the effort to watch the various fish and get a sense for their natural reactions. An observatory is a little ambitious at the moment, but on the table for later.

Having a room just for a bioreactor is sensible, as is a room of grow pots for the days when going up to the island where their main outdoor grow beds isn't sensible.

It always stuns her when they take her ideas into consideration, and even when they are tabled for later, she feels seen, she feels heard, and it is such a strange, new feeling she doesn't know how to react to it.

And deep inside, under the part of her that hopes for rescue, to go home, to find Trevor, she wonders if maybe this isn't...

Better.

Adrian glares up at the ceiling of the base with a small huff; the weather has been foul for days now, and they've all needed to make trips to the floating island to make sure that their potato plants, lantern fruits, marble melons, and other crops aren't being washed away by the storm.

It isn't that the rain is bad—lightning is bad, lightning has tried to murder their base three times and prevented them from going outside at all until it had gone away—it's just... a lot of rain.

And admittedly, he's mostly been dealing with how he feels about Anna by trying to ignore it. He can't avoid her—doesn't want to—but he isn't sure they are in the best situation to be pursuing something like that.

But it's hard to feel otherwise, not when she lights up the room just by being there. He thinks he loves her a little more each day, and it's getting harder and harder to hide it. He wants to kiss her, wants to do more than kiss her...

He thrusts those thoughts away with a small grimace, turning instead to look out the window. Night is falling, if the glow of the sea plants is any indication, which means Anna and Dr. Liesse will be back soon. Base watching has allowed him some personal time which he'd enjoyed, but with nothing to distract him, he's gotten entirely too lost in daydreams of rescue, of what he might say to Anna when they were on a rescue ship and going back towards Athena...

Dr. Liesse Montblanc has entered the base. Anna Torres has entered the base.

Adrian turns and is not even slightly surprised to see Anna carrying a huge pile of creepvine fronds and seeds. For her, comfort is in soft, warm things, in blankets and pillows that pad the floor, that can be turned into cozy nests, or little shelters. They have to be careful, since the water can—and does—get everywhere, but that never seems to deter Anna's quest for the softest sleeping materials she can make. Or her creativity in getting the fabricator to produce new patterns, though they have managed to convince her that the neon color spectrum is just too bright.

Dr. Liesse has their dinner in one bag, and a perturbed look on her face that makes him stand up from the bench, heading to her as Anna moves cheerfully towards the fabricator in the far corner—hers, more or less, since they have multiples so that they can all work at the same time at need.

“What's wrong?” he murmurs, taking the bag of fish from the doctor.

“We ran across more of those oddly blistered fish out there, and an odd creature that seemed to warp them away before I could get a proper reading. It seemed uninterested in us, but disappeared when I tried to scan it.”

The way she looks, it made a chill go up his spine.

“Did Anna see it?”

Dr. Liesse shakes her head, and for a moment he thinks she looks sheepish.

“I went farther north,” she admits, “while Anna was cutting vines. There's another island up there, Mr. Tevish, a proper one.”

Adrian thinks maybe he should scold her; they go out in pairs to avoid danger, not to split up and look on their own. But he has to admit that sometimes he has done the same with both of them, and scolding would be hypocritical, at best.

“Should we move?” he asks instead, curious.

“Nein. I think we are good here. But I would like to explore this island at some point. It looked... strange. And the creatures around it made me curious as well.”

Adrian hums a little in thought as he starts putting fish through the fabricator to cook. Days like this, he misses Kinsie; they would have known how to add some flavor to these squishy things...

“All right. Did you find anything else useful?”

“We almost have all the pieces for a moon pool,” and now the doctor relaxes a little. “Anna is excited by the idea of a sea moth, aren't you, hascha?”

Adrian half-turns and smiles as Anna approaches; the cloth she'd been making was stacked neatly on the counter space next to the entrance to the Nest Room—it's hard to call it a bedroom when there isn't actually a bedstead, only a million pillows and blankets—and he wonders what they will be used for. They seem to be more neutral tones, so perhaps she has decided they need new non-wetsuit clothing?

“It'll go faster through the water than the seaglide, and we can be dry,” Anna says, her voice eager. “It sounds fun!”

His heart squeezes gently; she's blossomed so much here, no longer cringing and easily frightened. She is clingy, especially after a nightmare, but she's no longer afraid to speak up, and she is even getting a little bit sassy. He likes these changes, he likes knowing all of her, not just the part of her that is desperate to please so that she won't be left alone.

As if they could ever leave her alone.

It has been four months that they've lived on the planet, but every day is becoming more and more of an odd gift, and Adrian has started to wonder if he really wants to be rescued.

It has been a rather rough week; every day they seem to come back with new injuries, new bite marks by biters, stalkers, sand sharks, and today was the worst of all. It had been Dr. Liesse's turn to watch the base—Anna likes base watching mostly because after a while exploring is just too mentally exhausting and she needs to rest, but they need to rest too, so there's a rotation worked out to make sure that no one goes out alone—so she and Adrian had gone out to try and find some food, and some materials to help build more storage.

They had found a Leviathan class creature that had attacked viciously, trying to break the seamoths, and it had been a mix of panic and luck that had allowed them to get away. She'd managed to keep herself calm all the way back to the base, all the way back to safety, and though she had clung tightly to Adrian's hand while he reported what they'd found, she had refused to break.

But now it is late, it is dark, Adrian and Dr. Liesse sleep, but Anna cannot. She sees the Leviathan's maw closing around her seamoth and the panic rises, grabbing her by the neck and taking away her ability to make a sound, to do anything save curl into a ball and shake.

Hands are on her shoulders, and she dimly perceives a voice murmuring her name. It takes her a few moments to look up, to see Abuela's concerned look.

She has not openly called Dr. Liesse 'abuela' yet, but she knows soon she will slip.

“Breathe with me, hascha,” Dr. Liesse murmurs, helping Anna to sit up. “In... two... three... four. Hold. Out... two... three... four.”

Anna feels Adrian stir and guilt swamps her, bringing tears to the ebbing adrenaline; she hates it when they have to wake up and cater to her nonsense. She's not strong like they are, like Trevor was, and she wishes she could be better than this.

“Liesse?” Adrian murmurs, a question in his voice.

“Delayed shock from the attack,” and Abuela's voice is soft, gentle. “I was wondering when it would hit.”

That just makes Anna feel worse, and the tears slip down her cheeks. Abuela Li's arms wrap around her softly, smoothing her hair, rubbing her back and the older woman murmurs in German, words that Anna knows now are meant to soothe and comfort.

It doesn't stop her from jolting hard when Adrian gets up, grabbing for him on reflex as a strangled noise escapes from her throat, and he stops, then crouches to hold her hand.

“I'm going to make tea,” he says gently. “I'm not leaving the base, Sunshine.”

'Sunshine' is something he's recently started calling her, about the same time as she finally dropped the 'mister' from in front of his name, and it helps her calm down. It still takes her a few moments to let him go, and she watches anxiously as he steps up into their main base, moving for the tea dispenser. It's one of the few things they have that is automated, that doesn't require them to put in anything other than water from their desalinator.

By the time he gets back, she's only a little teary, and her shaking has mostly finished. He still makes sure she can hold the cup he gives her before letting it go, and while it trembles some, the heat of the mug is soothing.

So is being bracketed by Abuela, and Adrian, and the extra large blanket Adrian wraps around all of them is soft and smells like sunlight.

“Better?” Abuela Li asks as Anna just holds the cup of tea.

Anna nods, not sure she can speak just yet, and blushes as Adrian's arm curls around her waist, his head resting on hers. Abuela doesn't draw away, only huffs at him, and there is something... something so comforting in the sound that Anna manages a tiny, weak giggle.

“Drink your tea, hascha,” Abuela encourages gently. “Everyone's safe.”

Everyone's safe.

“Abuela?”

Liesse looks up, and half-smiles; she likes that Anna has lost her formality, has adopted them, more or less. She doesn't mind being considered an honorary grandmother, and she admits, it makes her miss her own children and grandchildren a little less. She still wonders what Anna thinks of Adrian Tevish; he is not nearly as subtle as he thinks, but Anna seems to be patently oblivious to how he feels...

Anna has a cave crawler in her hands, and looks a little disturbed, so Liesse gets to her feet and brushes the dirt from her knees.

“Ah, the one that was infected,” Liesse says, eyeing it carefully. “You are planning to wash after this, yes?”

Anna huffs an almost exasperated noise that makes Liesse smile; yes, this child is her granddaughter now, therefore she must ensure her safety as much as possible. Hers and Adrian's both.

“I will,” Anna replies, then holds the crawler out a little. “But look.”

Liesse looks, and sees abruptly why Anna is unnerved. The green blisters seem to have taken over the cave crawler's eye, and though she suspects the thing has only been dead a short while, it seems to be rotting abnormally fast.

“Have you scanned it?”

Anna nods, and looks even more uneasy.

“Abuela, I think something is wrong with this planet...”

Liesse purses her lips, then carefully takes the cave crawler from Anna. Perhaps if she disects it in her new lab space, she can get some answers.

Adrian winces a little as he sits in the shade; he's been allergic to the sun for most of his life, and in most cases, it was never really that much of a problem. Inherited like his father's temper, he's known how to manage the symptoms, and how to hide them since he doesn't think it's something the ladies in his life need to be concerned about.

It's more annoying than sunburn, but he can manage it.

Maybe he can see if Anna can tweak her fabric fabricator to making something lightweight, with longer sleeves. He will miss wearing tank tops, but better to be covered than to end up with heatstroke, or worse.

Anna hasn't been feeling her beast recently; she's lost days, and some weight, and actually feels a little too hot. She doesn't like feeling like this, feeling ill and weak, and she manages to hide it for a little bit.

But she knows the looks her abuela and Adrian are giving her. They are worried, and she hates that she is making them worry. She can't do this to them, but she's not sure how to approach it.

“...can I take base time?” she finally asks after almost a week, pushing her small plate of food away. She's not hungry, and even though she knows she should eat she just... can't. “I don't... I'm not feeling well.”

Abuela Li nods, and there is a look of relief in her dark eyes.

“Do you want someone to stay with you?” she asks.

Anna thinks about this for a moment, not entirely sure. On the one hand, having someone with her will make them worry less. On the other, if someone's with her, the other can't go far. Exploring alone isn't safe, even among the reefs that they know.

“....I don't know,” she admits finally.

“We can decide on a day to day basis,” Adrian suggests, reaching over and gently taking her hand. “It's not like we need to go very far at the moment as it is to maintain how we're currently living.”

He's right, and she knows it, but that doesn't make her feel any less guilty.

Liesse hasn't been up on the floating island too long when Adrian—they've finally given up on formality after six months and Anna basically adopting them--comes racing up the path, wide-eyed and clearly afraid.

“Anna's collapsed!”

She drops her plants immediately, heart sinking rapidly as she follows him back to the base.

Anna had admitted to feeling a bit off, so they'd shifted her to lighter work; watching the base, making their food, and keeping an eye on the indoor plants. Adrian specifically had asked that they stay close to the base today, and Liesse hadn't complained; she is worried about her granddaughter, and she knows Adrian's adulation has no limits, even if he has yet to say anything.

In truth, this probably shouldn't have surprised her; Anna has been malnourished most of her life, and the chances of her actually making it to a doctor, or an auto-doc, getting medical care and vaccines, has been next to impossible, according to her own words. Liesse also suspects that the various shocks they've had in the past six months, from the destruction of the Degasi to the discovery of the Leviathan class creature they'd dubbed a Reaper, have done Anna's immune responses no favors.

They've figured out, through finally getting a good sample of an infected creature, that the water is teeming with infectious material. There is no way to deny any of them are infected with whatever it is, but no one has been showing any signs of being sick, so Liesse has held out the hope that it wasn't something their immune systems wouldn't handle.

She should have insisted on taking a sample of Anna's blood, but she had wanted her adopted granddaughter to feel safe and comforted in her illness, not poked and prodded at. Now she must do the thing, because she knows the scanner cannot identify the illness, and she has seen it in the blood of infected creatures that she has studied. If that same infection is in Anna's blood...

The main problem is that they've ended up using all their medical supplies in increments as the months have gone by. Disinfectant for a bite would here, pain relievers from being thrown against a rock by a crashfish there, until they are all but out. Anything made here will carry that taint of infection, which makes any medicine fabricated by planet-bound items pointless.

As she enters the base, a part of her absently reflects that it is a good thing they've recently added a third level to it, stacked like an apartment building. Putting the bioreactor, desalinators, and various fabrications machines on the lowest floor has freed up space on what is now the second, and they've turned half of it into a small lab, while the other half is more about their day to day living.

She knows Anna wants a glass roof on the floor nearest the sky, something the girl had been working hard on before she'd been shifted to lighter duties. A large greenhouse so that when the rain come again and they can't go out, they aren't risking themselves to get food. It is something Liesse silently promises to complete, just as soon as they can make Anna better.

She doesn't know how they will, but she refuses to let her granddaughter die in a place like this.

Adrian goes out in the seamoth for hours, desperately seeking something to help. Anna isn't comatose, not quite, but Liesse has admitted that she probably will be in a few days. Whatever the infection is, it's rapidly accelerating; Anna's skin has broken out in those green blisters they've seen on the other creatures, mostly in places where she'd been bit or injured somehow by the regular trips into the ocean.

There has to be something, he can't just lose her like this!

The alien installation they'd visited isn't helpful; he still hasn't found a way in, still hasn't been able to breech the barrier that keeps it closed off, and he isn't sure he can trust himself to swim in the island caverns to try and find materials, not while over half his thoughts are submerged in concern for Anna.

He has to tell her. He can't let her get worse without telling her. She should know, she should have some reason to fight, some immediate reason, not just the hope to reach her cousin someday...

A sudden change in water pressure makes him squawk and fight briefly with the seamoth as it is dragged downward. Towards...

A vent?

He moves the seamoth to a safe distance—they don't have enough resources to repair it if he gets it broken, and he knows Liesse will never let him live it down—then slips into the water and approaches carefully. Yes, it is an intake vent of some sort, pulling in... Peepers? Intrigued, and a little confused, he can't help but wonder just what might be on the other side.

It was tempting to the the vent flow pull him in, but closer inspection shows that it is too small for him; between that and his limited air supply, he stays back and watches, letting thoughts swirl in his mind as he sees the Peepers go down.

If there is an intake pipe, there must be an outflow one. And there must be a reason for this, even if he doesn't know what. But maybe if he follows the pipes, he can find the outflow, and see if there's something different about the creatures that come out.

As he makes for his seamoth again, he feels something in his chest loosen a little.

Maybe his searching has not been in vain.

“Liesse, look at this!”

She looks up wearily, absently trying to rub the kink from her neck from being bent over her microscope for so long. The infection in Anna's blood is worsening, and it is both terrifying and fascinating to watch. If it hadn't meant she was likely to lose Anna, she might have watched it for hours...

The fish Adrian thrusts into her hands looks like a Peeper. It's still flopping around—most of the fish have the ability to actually breathe air for a short time, which allows them to escape an inattentive grip, something that has happened to all of them—but it seems to be throwing off strange orange sparks.

This is not typical Peeper behavior...

“...where did you find this?” Liesse asks slowly, taking the fish in a firm grip as she reaches for a syringe.

“There's a series of intake and outflow vents along the sea floor,” Adrian replies, helping to hold the fish as she gets a sample. “I watched for a bit as they popped out, and grabbed this one to see if there's something beneficial about it. It.. I don't know, it could help Anna.”

“Put it in the aquarium,” Liesse orders. “We don't want it to die before we have our answers.”

She lets a drop of fluid fall onto a slide, then puts her eye to the microscope. While Liesse has never been one to believe in gods, if this proves to be the miracle she hopes for, she might just change her mind.

Anna wakes slowly, feeling exhaustion weighing her down. She has vague memories of waking up several times before, of hearing the heart monitor next to the medbed beeping steadily, tracking her vitals. For a moment she felt like she'd been thrown back, to just being discovered by Abuela Li, but that... isn't right.

Is it? Has she just dreamed the whole disaster as part of space sickness?

Her hand is oddly warm, and she shifts blearily to see why, blinking a few times in confusion as what first comes into focus is a mop of golden hair.

Oh. Right. Adrian's hair. Funny that he calls her Sunshine when his hair is more like it than her attitude...

It was hard to think, but after a moment she manages to grasp the hazy realization that she must have gotten worse. That is why they had a medbed with a vitals monitor—something from Liesse's crafting section of the PDA, probably—because she has been dangerously ill.

Is she getting better? Is that why she's awake now? Or is the disease giving her these last moment to say her goodbyes before pulling her down into a deep and timeless dark?

“Hascha, you're awake?”

Anna turns her head and smiles weakly at Abuela Li, lifting her fee hand a little. Awake, but not for long, she can tell. Already everything is fuzzing around the edges, exhaustion wrapping around her like her favorite blanket. She struggles against it; she needs to tell them she loves them before she goes...

“Anna, stay with me a moment, ja? Adrian has... found something that might be beneficial, but we don't know how to break it down just yet, so you'll need to eat it as is. Can you try and do that for me?”

Adrian has found something to help her? Anna hesitates a little; she not sure she can sit up without help, or waking Adrian, but after a moment she manages to push back the darkness at the edges of her sight and tries to sit up. Liesse leans forward to help, the 'something' put to the side, and Anna winces a little, an involuntary noise of pain slipping out.

This seems to jolt Adrian back into awareness; his grip on her hand tightens as he jerks upright, hair falling haphazardly into his face. His golden eyes are frantic, but they soften with relief as he looks at her. Anna can't help but feel bad; he looks as though he's been skipping sleep, and it's obviously her fault.

“Adrian, help her sit up,” Liesse says, her tone firm. “Tell her what you found.”

He immediately obeyed, and Anna finds herself in the familiar warmth of his hold as Abuela Li puts a plate of... Peeper? But it looks so odd... onto her lap.

“I found intake and outflow vents,” Adrian says, his voice a comforting murmur as Anna shakily picks up the sporfe and tentatively stabs one of the pieces of the Peeper. It seems to have a strange discoloration to it... “Some of the fish, most notably the Peepers, were getting sucked in at one location, and popping out at the other. The Peepers all had some sort of... orange glitter around them. So I grabbed one and brought it back. Liesse took a sample, ran some tests, and we think it might be able to help you feel better...”

Anna nods tiredly; she doesn't really want to eat, she wants to sleep. But she knows that if she does that, she may not wake up, so she dutifully pops the piece of Peeper into her mouth, and swallows.

It tastes... orange. Sweet, a little tangy, and nothing like the more ordinary Peepers they've been using for food. She blinks and looks down at the plate; already her head feels a little more clear, and she can feel Adrian relax behind her, as if taking her renewed interest in the food to be a good sign.

And because she feels him relax, because she sees the hope on Aubela's face, she takes another bite.

And another.

Until the plate is empty, and she feels more clear-headed than she has in a while. She is still tired, still feels the weariness dragging at her bones, but her thoughts don't feel so fuzzy.

Anna snuggles back into Adrian's hold, and lets herself loosely twine her arms around him. She is ready to go back to sleep now, and knows for certain that she will wake up again.

“There's an enzyme the glittering Peepers are carrying,” Liesse murmurs, rubbing away her small headache with a relieved hand. She hadn't been certain this would work, but she can see the difference already, in the cysts that are disappearing, and the coolness of Anna's forehead. “But it's too complex for the fabricator.”

“I can set up a grav trap near the outflow vent,” Adrian offers, his voice soft to keep Anna from waking up.

Liesse smiles and nods; Adrian has been running around while she's been monitoring Anna, and honestly, he needs more sleep than he's gotten, but he's the one who knows where the outflow vent is, so she will let him do this. Then she'll make him go to bed properly, now that they know Anna will recover, if slowly.

“That is an excellent plan. We should each have a full one to ourselves, to get the benefits of whatever the enzyme is, and we'll have to do some careful testing to see how long we can go between doses. We also cannot keep every Peeper that glitters; they clearly provide some form of disease inhibitor to this whole crater.”

“We've mostly been sticking to the shallows,” Adrian points out. “We've never tried going into the caves or exploring deeper. Maybe there's something down there that we're not entirely aware of...”

She nods with a thoughtful frown, tapping her chin. Whatever enzyme was part of the Peeper's flesh, they weren't making it themselves. If they had been, there likely wouldn't have been any infection in the area... If these creatures are somehow finding this enzyme, it would be sensible to go deeper and see if perhaps they can find it themselves, and use it to keep the infection in check.

“It's not a solo journey,” she says finally. “We wait for Anna to get well again, we keep ourselves as healthy as we can, and then all three of us together.”

Adrian nods in agreement, snuggling Anna close in a move so protective that Liesse cannot help but smile.

“You should probably tell her soon,” she says, allowing just the tiniest hint of a tease to creep into her voice. “I'm sure she'll be happy to know.”

Adrian's blush makes her smile grow, and she stands with a small yawn. It is plain he won't leave while Anna is asleep, so she will go to bed herself, and let them snuggle in peace.

“...Liesse?”

“Hm?”

“I will tell her. When she's well again.”

Adrian hisses a little as Anna spreads some of the last of their burn cream over his hands and face. She is recovering slowly, still on base duty because she tires to frighteningly quick, and Liesse's suggested of a glittering Peeper each, per week, seems to be keeping the worst of the symptoms at bay.

“Stupid sun allergy,” he grumbles, holding still as she carefully wraps his hands.

She seems to be taking great care, or perhaps it's because her hands are shaking slightly, but he thinks that if they ever get rescued—a hope that is slowly going away as the reality of their situation sinks in—she will make a good doctor herself.

“...this seems a lot worse than last time,” Anna says softly. “Should I try to make gloves, or... or a hat?”

Pain or not, he has to smile a little at her concern. He loves her so much, and he needs to tell her, but the words are such a struggle...

“I'm willing to try those,” he says with a small nod. “I'd really rather not be taken down by daylight, like some old vampire from the vids.”

That makes her giggle a little, and the sound relaxes him; if she is feeling well enough to laugh at his terrible jokes, that is an improvement over being too sleepy to focus.

She has made such great stride in recovery, and he cannot help but admire her resilience.

“Are we going deeper soon?” she asks. “Like you want?”

“I think so,” he says with a nod as she fastens the bandage and starts wrapping his other hand. She is so careful to wrap his fingers individually, and she has learned quite a lot from Liesse about bandage pressure. “We've almost got enough materials... are you certainly you're all right sacrificing your greenhouse for this?”

Anna nods, smiling a little at him.

“We need three working seamoths lots more than we need a large greenhouse.”

Her practicality is both pleasing and makes his heart hurt; there has to be a way to get her what she was hoping for, without sacrificing what they need.

“We can probably fit three large growbeds, and some of the pots in one multipurpose room,” he offers after a moment. “Maybe stick it underneath the nest room?”

She blinks, and her head tips a little, a move she has picked up from Liesse. It makes her look adorable, and before he can stop himself, his bandaged hand reaches out to cup her cheek. She leans into the touch even as she fastens the second bandage, not quite a nuzzle, but clearly comfortable with him, and his heart jumps into his throat.

“...Anna?” Oh, his mouth is so dry now, nerves abruptly pinging. “Anna could I.... tell you something?”

She nods immediately, her hand coming up to covers his in a grip that isn't weak, but not as strong as it should be.

“You can tell me anything, I won't tell Abuela.”

There's mischief in her tone, and he can't help his fond smile; how she is so cute without really trying, he'll never know. It's not like they don't keep secrets; even after almost eight months, getting this close, there's still some things he's not comfortable revealing. And he's aware that they share secrets, just as he shares some with Anna that he won't tell Liesse, and vice versa.

Fortunately, this is a very different situation, and he leans forward carefully; his face has absorbed the burn cream, sure, but it's still a bit sticky when he gently presses his head to Anna's, and relaxes as she accepts the closeness without question.

“It's not like that, Sunshine. Liesse already knows. It's... personal, but not private.”

Anna's green eyes are lit with curiosity, and a little concern... and a warmth he wonders if she's ever acknowledge to herself. He's tried to practice what he could say, but meeting those green eyes, all his words flee. He's apparently doomed to come at this, stuttering and stammering like his younger brother Zel, isn't he?

“...I love you,” he says finally. What else can he be but blunt? “Not the way I love my family, and not as just a friend. I love you romantically, and... and I have for a while, but I didn't want to say anything until-”

Until they are rescued, until he is certain that everything will be all right. Until he can get them all back to an inhabited planet... The very things he is no longer certain he will be able to do.

The infection is in the water, and the three of them. And already he knows they aren't being cured by eating the glittering Peepers, they are just putting symptoms on hold. With how much they return to the water, eat the food grown in infected soil, they can't avoid getting reinfected. This is why Liesse says they must eat a glittering Peeper a week, after all.

“You... love me?”

Anna's voice tiny and stunned, drags his attention back to her. She looks shocked, like she doesn't really know how to react, and Adrian feels his heart crack, just a little bit. She's told them both more about her life before running away with Trevor, and he knows he is so privileged to come from a supportive family. That doesn't make it hurt any less to see that she doesn't understand what he's trying to say.

“I do,” he says softly. Then quickly amends, “and it's perfectly fine if your don't reciprocate, or need time to think about it. I won't push you. I just... I wanted you to know. I was so... I was scared that you might die, and I wouldn't have said anything, but Anna... you light up the room just by being here. You're strong, smart, brave, and... and yes, you're a little frustrating sometimes, a little exasperating, but I love that too, love knowing that you're feeling safe enough around us to push back, to get sassy,and make your opinions known.”

He watches her face, watches as she absorbs the words, and sees the uncertainty, the doubt in her eyes. It makes him wonder if people have told her things before and never meant them. Has one of those people ever been the cousin she defends so fiercely, even though he's not here, even though he is indirectly responsible for this?

“You can think about it,” he says, and leans back a little, gently taking her hands so he can squeeze them fondly. “I promise, nothing will change if you don't feel the same. I love you... and I will not compromise on friendship, if that is all you feel you can give.”

He hopes it's not. Oh how he hopes.

But he will not force her to try and love him back.

It's hard to focus on anything with Adrian's words ringing in her mind. Of all the things she'd thought he might tell her, that Liesse might know but not speak of, it hadn't involved anything as dramatic as that.

She isn't even really sure she knows what it means to have romantic feelings for someone. The closest she can really come up with is Trevor, and she's never really been sure about that either. She calls him cousin, but there's no actual blood between them, and she can't lie to herself and say there weren't times where she's wondered what it would be like to kiss him.

Are romantic feelings why she wants to know what it might be like to kiss Adrian?

“Have you found anything, hascha?”

“Not yet, Abuela,” Anna replies, jolting back into herself and shaking her head a little. “Sorry, my mind was wandering.”

“It happens,” and her adopted grandmother's tone is amused more than anything else. “There's some caves down in the bedrock of the island, but the seamoth is too large to get into them. I'm going to have to get out if I want to explore them properly, so I'll be going radio silent for a while.”

“Should I keep looking, or stay put?” Anna asks uncertainly.

“Keep looking for now,” Abuela Li instructs. “See if you can find some sort of power connector, or converter, or-”

“Abuela, there's a.... there's an opening here! It's not blocked by a barrier either!”

Anna stares at it for a moment, biting her lip indecisively. Then nods and grips the controls of her seamoth firmly.

“I'm going in.”

“So, it's some sort of quarantine enforcement platform?” Adrian asks, carefully wrapping a bandage around Anna's arm. It isn't bleeding any longer, but he feels better safe than sorry...

“I can't say for sure, I only had access to the moonpool, but... it seems like that,” Anna says with a nod and a small wince.

“Ah, sorry...”

He loosens the bandage quickly and she smiles at him ruefully.

“It's my own fault for touching the big green button...”

He chuckles a little, shaking his head lightly. Honestly, he's well aware that any of them would have done the same, so scolding her would be hypocritical.

“I'm glad you and Liesse are all right,” he says instead. “Liesse, how's study of the tablet going?”

Liesse sighs in clear annoyance as he gently fastens Anna's bandage, and he hears the tiniest giggle from the woman he loves. He slants her a slight grin of agreement, even as Liesse shakes her head a little.

“I cannot make heads or tails of this obnoxious thing,” she huffs, shoving it across the small table. “It doesn't seem to have any sort of data module attached to it, or communications. Just that strange symbol that matches the pedestal by the entrance to the installation.”

“Maybe tomorrow, I could-”

“Nein. You are burning alarmingly fast in the sunlight, even under the water. There aren't enough shadows on the way to the installation to make sure you're not hurt...”

“We could try in the evening? Or maybe after the sun sets?” Anna suggests tentatively.

“We haven't tried going out at night,” Adrian says with a small, hopeful nod. “Perhaps that'll make it better? It's worth trying, at least.”

Liesse doesn't look convinced, but Adrian hopes anyways. Unlike Anna, who needs time to decompress and process, Adrian likes being out every day and can catalog as he goes. And while he can't deny that his sun allergy is getting worse, not better—according to Liesse, a side of the infection they all have—he knows that if he stays inside for too long, 'irritable' will be the least of it.

He still lets out a breath of relief as Liesse nods a little.

“All right. We shall see what evening brings.”

Anna hugs Adrian's arm as they walk into the installation from the main floor instead of the moon pool. The tablet has opened the door for them, and the whole place gives off an air of abandonment, of disuse... of loss. It makes her want to cry a little, if she's being honest, and staying close to Adrian is helping her to keep her composure.

He moves his arm, but before she can make even a sound of protest, he's wrapped it around her shoulders, pulling her close.

It helps.

“It is so old,” Abuela Li murmurs, walking farther into the metal room. “What species made this?”

“Who knows,” Adrian replies, gently tugging Anna along with him. “It doesn't seem like any of them are here though.”

“Likely the infection got to them,” the doctor says after a moment.

Anna looks around, then tugs tentatively at Adrian, pointing to a glowing green cube as Abuela Li moves towards what looks to be a computer terminal. Obligingly, Adrian heads for it, handing her his scanner; he seems as reluctant to let go as she is, so she scans it for him, then hesitantly reaches out to touch the cube.

It almost seems to vibrate gently, and it makes her shiver, pulling back quickly. Whatever it is, is very powerful.

“According to the scanner, and what it can translate from the alien dialect into our own, it's an energy source, like an exceptionally powerful battery. Something like a stable nuclear explosion, just... without the radiation that comes with it,” Adrian says, peering at his data pad. “It's likely finite.... I wonder if we could have it power the base?”

“I think the bioreactor we have does that well enough,” Abulea Li says from where she is standing at the terminal, a small frown on her face. “Tch. Half of this is gibberish... whatever the species was that made this seems to have been half-tech themselves... I have a schematic, but I cannot make heads or tails of this.”

“Nothing useful then?” Adrian asks, and Anna made a small sound of disappointment, leaning against him uneasily.

“Unfortunately not. Hascha, can you show us to the arm-stabbing machine?”

Anna nods, and moves to leave the facility.

“So there is a deeper research facility,” Liesse says with a small frown as she absently rubs her aching arm. “A thermal plant of some sort, and a primary containment.”

Adrian sighs a little, leaning back against the wall as his hand absently runs through Anna's hair as she naps with her head on his lap. He cannot help but glance at Liesse in moderate concern; even knowing it wouldn't shut down for her, activating the sampler had allowed their PDAs to catch the broadcast reprimand about infected individuals, and from that the translation improved noticeably. Which is why they now know the location of two places farther down in the ocean.

“We'll need to make depth modules somehow,” he says, rubbing his face wearily. He doesn't want to admit that even the diffuse moonlight, under the water, had singed him. “It's... how far down?”

“According to what my PDA was able to translate, roughly 800 meters.”

Adrian nods a little, and starts flicking through the upgrades tab on his PDA. They've managed to get materials for the mark 2 depth modules, and haven't yet explored deeper; having a goal seems more motivating than looking at random, admittedly...

“How should we do this, then?” he asks, feeling more worn by the moment.

“We can talk about it after we've had some rest and food,” Liesse says firmly, getting slowly to her feet. “I'm going to get some Peepers from the grav trap. Once we've had those, once morning comes, we can figure out a plan.”

“If we stay out of those mushrooms, we should have ample room for a secondary base,” Liesse says, circling the area slowly as she eyes the deceptively pretty underwater mushrooms. Their jellyfish like tendrils didn't make her feel any sort of comfortable. “We should have the resources to make it comfortable, the way our primary one is...”

“...Abuela, maybe we should.. come down here as a permanent move.”

Liesse turns her seamoth to face Anna's, knowing the girl will register that as a sign of full, startled attention.

“Adrian's sun allergy is getting worse, not better,” And Anna's voice is so soft and sad. “He's already struggling to be inside during the day, to not explore. And the moonlight isn't any better, it just takes five minutes to burn, instead of two. I don't think we can stay up on the surface safely. Not with him suffering like this.”

Liesse sighs, but finds it hard to disagree.

They've been slowly searching for a couple of weeks now, trying to gather as they explore, laying down pahtfinder disks and beacons to avoid getting lost. Which has left Adrian to himself during the day, in the base. Sometimes they have let him go out at night, but Liesse is not blind to the new burns he returns with, and she is afraid that he will only continue to get worse. While the other symptoms are being held in check by the Peepers and their enzyme, the light allergy has noticeably grown worse.

“You think if we move our primary base down here, it will help?”

Anna's seamoth bobs, and Liesse sighs again. She wishes there was another option, but she sees the logic in Anna's suggestion; if they maintain only a small base on the surface, bring the larger parts down here, Adrian will not be as constrained by the light, he will not hurt as much, and his mood will improve the more he is allowed his freedom.

A small part of her is proud of Anna; she is being both protective and proactive, and she finds herself wondering if Adrian has confessed yet. Anna has not asked her for advice, so she has let it lie, but she must admit to her curiosity.

“We should still keep some facilities up at the surface,” she says after another long, scrutinizing look at the sea floor. “Humans living without sunlight tend to... well, not work out all that well. Maybe I can adjust some of the floodlights to be similar to sunlamps...”

It gets her a giggle through the radio, and Liesse has to smile. Anna's fatigue is likely to be a permanent issue, even if they ever fabricate a full cure, but she has improved close to her old standard, her weight returning and her bright moods with it. While Liesse does wish they could all be permanently cured, she knows it's currently just a dream and does not dwell on it.

It will be nice if she or Adrian can figure out how to concentrate the enzyme, but she is wary of experimenting on a group of Peepers, especially know that it is not something they naturally exude. She does not want to upset the tenuous balance of the ecosystem, not when they all need it to live.

“All right, hascha. Take some pictures for reference, and we'll see what we can build a plan for.”

“It's not fair that you're moving just to make things easier on me,” Adrian grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest.

Abuela Li sighs in exasperation, and Anna has to admit that she is starting to get a bit annoyed with him too. Why he's decided to dig in his heels about this now, after being mostly fine with it when the idea was initially proposed, is beyond her.

“You're being ridiculous,” Abuela Li says, rubbing one temple tiredly. “We're moving because it's the most logical option, and yes, it keeps you safe, but we would have needed a secondary base anyways. Downsizing this one and moving deeper is a sensible choice, and allows you more freedom of movement. You can't tell me you're not suffering from cabin fever, being inside all day.”

He huffs a little, and Anna resists the urge to reach out and shake him. He's not as bad as Trevor could be, but she doesn't understand why this is bothering him.

“It'll be fun,” she say, doing her best to keep her tone coaxing, and sensing more than seeing Abuela Li turn away from the conversation. “There's all sorts of new things to scan, and tunnels to explore. And yes, it'll help that you're not risking exposure to the sun in any format. I would've thought you'd be tired of being burned.”

She knows he goes softer when he talks to her, and part of her feels bad for manipulating him like this. He disagrees less when it's her than Abuela, and while she might feel bad, she's also not above capitalizing on it to end an argument.

“....I am tired of being burned, but this is hardly fair,” he replies, running a hand through his hair. “You shouldn't have to cater to me just because-”

“Why not?” Anna interrupts, baffled. “It's just another facet of figuring out the infection. Your light allergy is worse; I'm tired all the time. If we have a base that's deeper in, we can maybe find the research facility, and even if not, we can find all sorts of other things that could be useful. And besides, we're all we have. Wanting to take care of someone we love isn't exactly out of the norm, is it?”

She hadn't meant to let that slip, and flushes as she realizes what she's said, even as Adrian's eyes go wide. She still doesn't quite understand what it means, not really. She doesn't know if it's romance, or if it's familial.

She just knows that seeing him hurt himself makes her heart ache, and she wants to make it better.

Maybe fortunately, Adrian is a smart man; he doesn't press the topic, and only sighs after a moment, shoulders slumping a little in a way that suggests he's giving in.

“Okay. Okay, we'll move. How are we going to go about this?”

It actually isn't that hard to live in the bioluminescent darkness, and he has to admit that Liesse and Anna had been right. Being cooped up in the base had been wearing at him, weighing on him; he hates feeling useless, feeling that he isn't doing enough to contribute to their survival because he can't even stand in the diffuse light of the windows, let alone being in Bait, or getting out into the water to grab materials they need.

He half-smiles as he passes the name on his seamoth on his way around the moonpool to get to the base properly; Anna really can be silly when she wants to be, and it had been cute to see her pick the names for the seamoths. His was Bait, hers was Sushi, and Liesse's was Sashimi.

Moving deeper has brought him additional freedom, to be certain, but they haven't exactly moved to what he can call a safe zone; the jellyshrooms, as Anna calls them, house strange, eel-like creatures that work like ant-lions of old Earth stories, lying in wait and then popping out to attack their prey.

Or an incautious seamoth pilot.

That had not been a fun discovery for any of them, and Anna least of all. If nothing else, it has proven that she can only charm things smaller than her, not larger; fortunately, her seamoth wasn't that damaged. Her mental state had been, however, and it took several days before she was able to let them both be out of her sight without panicking.

After he'd given in, they'd broken down the base a bit at a time until they could use the excess materials to make the large rooms that work best for them. They've had to reinforce several bulkheads thanks to the new level of pressure, but on a whole, the new base—Jellybase, according to Anna, which neither he, nor Liesse, could really dispute—is just as comfortable as the old one had been; even a little bit more roomy. He does't necessarily like being unable to see the sun... but Anna has surprised him, coming up with a workaround that involved the scanner room, a camera, and a photo-viewer. Maybe he can't be directly exposed to it, but seeing the sun rising, watching the moons from the angle she's set the camera at...

Liesse's sunlamp adjustment to the base lighting helps too, helps all of them not miss the cycling of day and night so much.

Anna looks up and beams to see him as he steps in, then eyes what he's carrying curiously.

“I think I've found something to help make reinforced wetsuits,” he says, not bothering to hide his smug glee. “Here, come help me run this through the fabricator!”

Anna sits in the observatory, knees tucked to her chest. No one has really said anything, but she's gotten the sense that they all know, on some level, that rescue just isn't a tenable option. They are all infected with a disease they didn't know the transfer method of, and the quarantine enforcement platform is unlikely to allow a ship to take them off-planet.

It is depressing to think about, and a little frustrating to tiptoe around. Both Abuela Li and Adrian still act like rescue will come... but they lack the conviction they felt when they'd first come together again, and after almost a year, Anna is quite certain that any rescue ship would suffer the same fate as the Degasi... or worse, there will be no survivors at all.

She sighs a little, and wraps her blanket a bit more firmly around her shoulders. It hurts to admit that she's not sure she'll ever see Trevor again, but at the same time, she's not sure she wants to cling to a false hope.

“...shouldn't you be sleeping?”

She looks up as Adrian carefully steps down into the observatory, and has to smile a little; his hair is a fluffy golden cloud around his face, and after several weeks in the jellyshroom caves, his skin has healed to pale smoothness again. During his days inside, with little to do, he'd turned his attention to thinks that would make their lives easier; lotions that smell of the citrusy lantern fruits, hair and body washes that actually get the salt off, and fell nice.

Somehow, that makes it feel more real. Like they are settling in for the rest of their lives.

“Shouldn't you?” she counters gently, making room for him on the bench.

“I was working on trying to extract the enzyme from the Peeper again,” and he sighs, slouching as he sits. His frustration is clear, and she empathizes heavily. “It's such a small amount it destabilizes so damn quick...”

Anna leans against him, and lets the warmth of being close to him wrap around her. His arm slides around her shoulders and he sighs again, staring out at the bioluminescent sea life. Anna lets him have a few moments of quiet in which to stew, then nudges at him gently.

“...Dri?”

“Hm?”

“Do you really think we're getting rescued?”

She doesn't have to see his face to feel the way he struggles to answer. His fingers go briefly tight on her shoulder, then he tips his head a little until it touches hers.

“I think someone will come,” he admits quietly. “I know my family, they will not rest until I'm found, or have concrete evidence of my death. But I don't think we can safely leave. I don't think any rescue ship can approach this planet without getting shot down, and I don't want to be responsible for that, or for causing a pandemic, just because I want to go home.”

There is so much longing in his voice that Anna's heart aches for him; she knows this feeling all too well. She misses a person, not a place, but it boils down to the same thing, mostly. Safety, and being loved, and knowing that no matter what, someone will remember you.

She shifts, and frees her arm so that she can toss the blanket up around his other shoulder. He grabs the end of it, and Anna is glad that she likes her blankets to big, because sharing them is nice. Sharing them with him always makes her feel safe, as well as warm.

“...thanks for... for being honest,” she says softly. “Honest is.. it's good. I don't want fake hope. And... and if I have to be stuck on an infected planet, I'm glad it's... it's with you and Abuela.”

She misses Trevor so much some days it makes her want to cry. Sure, he'd been a special brand of dumbass at times, but he was her special brand of dumbass, and the idea that she was never going to see him again was heartbreaking.

But she had Abuela Li, and she had Adrian. It could have been a lot worse.

Adrian presses a light kiss to the top of her head, and Anna jumps slightly. It makes him chuckle, and the sound warms her, thrills her.

“Definitely not what I'd prefer either, but... you have a point,” he admits. “A smart doctor, and someone who's not afraid to learn whatever she can however she can makes this less of a trial than it otherwise might have.”

Anna can't help but blush, and presses her face a little against his chest.

“Flatterer.”

“It's not flattery when it's true,” he says, and hugs her softly. “But that's something to talk about another time. I think right now we could both use some sleep, don't you? Liesse wants to make that push to find the research facility, after all, and it'll go better if we're both awake for it.”

Anna nods. Then hesitates.

“Dri..?”

“Hm.”

“.....this is probably... unfair of me, but...” Anna feels heat crawling up her face, and struggles to look him in the eye. “W.. would you... kiss me?”

His surprise is clear, as is the flaring hope. Anna is not certain how she feels, oh, she is not, but she knows she has been wondering about this more and more, and his honesty about rescue feels like it deserves something in return.

He nods, and leans in, gently pressing his mouth to hers. It's... soft. It warms her from within. It doesn't provide any answers, but when he pulls back, she turns her head into the crook of his neck and let him carry her back to the nest room for some sleep.

“...I feel like I'm in a horror house,” Adrian mutters as he eyes the warper parts hanging from the ceiling. “They built these things? To what end?”

Liesse can't hear him, their masks didn't have radios, but she waves her PDA at him anyways, and he sighs a little, letting a cloud of bubbles escape. It has taken them weeks to find the place, mostly because the caves are a complicated maze of paths, and their ability to fabricate pathfinder disks and beacons is limited. Still, just going by the way she is bouncing from spot to spot, her scanner in one and and PDA in the other, he suspects they are getting a wealth of data. He's going to wait until she's scanned everything, until he can get back to the base and sync files with both PDAs, before he checks anything.

They've found other things along the way, of course. Large bones of long-dead predators, and alien caches containing information, strange items, and mostly useless things they can make no sense of.

They have also, somehow, acquired three strange creatures than Anna immediately decided to call cuddlefish; he finds it hard to dispute the name when the first thing they did after hatching was to wrap around the humans like they were giving hugs. They live mostly in the large aquarium that they also house a few normal Peepers in for food, though he's certainly had more than one late-night encounter where one of the cuddlefish has decided to hop out of the tank for some human-related playtime.

He scans the parts, and shakes his head, rather glad that Anna has decided to stay behind this time. She will be a little upset to have missed this greatest discovery, but knowing how little she likes horror, he thinks she will be mostly pleased.

They are growing closer now. She asks him for kisses, but she has not said how she feels, and he wonders if this is only because they are close in age, and all the other will have, likely for the rest of their lives. He hasn't asked yet, but he knows he must, soon, because hope can hurt, and he is not fond of being confused.

Liesse points him at a terminal, and he obligingly lifts his scanner. He can think about his tenuous relationship with Anna later; right now, they have information to get.

“We can't get down to the thermal plant,” Liesse says, irritation in her voice. “It's too deep for the seamoths, and definitely too deep for us.”

“What does that mean for us?” Anna asks, anxiety lacing her voice.

“It means we shift focus,” Liesse replies before Adrian can speak. “We have information, even if we can do nothing with it. We also have a wide, wild ecosystem to gather more information about. Trans-govs will come our way eventually, hascha. When the quarantine platfomr gets them too, they will need all the help and information we can store.”

Anna does not look happy, but there isn't much to be done about that. She knows, they all know, that rescue is more likely to end with blown up ships and dead bodies more than survivors and aid. Liesse's heart aches at the thought, for the loss of life ahead, as well as what has already been sacrificed.

“We'll focus on the small things,” Adrian says, reaching over and taking Anna's hand gently. “Ourselves, and making our lives better. Staying alive.”

Liesse smiles fondly at them, as Anna blushes, and Adrian's eyes take on a subtle shadow; they have much to work out between themselves still, but they do seem to be coming to some understanding.

“Every day will belong to us,” Liesse says, bringing their attention back to her. “We can schedule work and play, and mix it up to make sure that we do not let things become to monotonous. We need to find the last of the items to make the mark three seamoth depth modules, and we can add things to this base too, to make it more comfortable.”

Anna nods a little, and leans on Adrian, who wraps his arms around her without hesitation. Liesse smiles a little, and puts her PDA down. She wants a shower, and some sleep; she can go over the rest of the data in the morning, and they can make better plans after rest.

Adrian sits quietly in the observatory, watching the fish swim. It's been a few days since their perusal of the disease research facility, and he finds that the more he knows about this disease—kharaa, the aliens called it—the less comfort he feels. It is damaging their genetic code, and it unnerves him.

He hears Anna before he sees her, bare feet padding down the stairs. He feels he should scold her for walking around when she should be sleeping, but what would be the point? They all have trouble sleeping now, each wrestling with their grief over the knowledge that they cannot leave without putting who knew how many trillions of people in danger.

She sits quietly next to him, then leans her head on his arm. Adrian tries not to stiffen up; she's pulled away some these days, keeping more to herself, and the conflicting signals are... frustrating. He doesn't know what she wants, and she hasn't yet said, which doesn't help.

“I still don't know if I understand what being in love means,” she says quietly, after several long minutes. “I'm not sure if that's what I feel or not. But... but I know I was terrified to be alone when we first landed here. I know I kind of wanted to kiss you when you and Abuela finally found my island, when you picked me up and held me so tightly that I..” and she huffs a sounds that's almost a laugh, “I honestly had a moment where I wondered if you might've accidentally broken something...”

Adrian can't help but wince. He remembers feeling her ribs creak under his arms, and had wondered if he'd hurt her then, but she'd started crying, clung to him so fiercely, that the question had been tabled in favor of giving her comfort.

“I know... I know that you've been patient, and kind,” she continues, pulling her knees up to her chest. “And... and I don't mean to be difficult, I just... I don't know what to do. I... I think I love you the same? I know that... that when you're gone, it's more anxiety inducing than when it's Abuela. And I get excited when you come back, even if you can't immediately hug me because your arms are full of stuff...”

Adrian feels tension in his spine easing as she continues to speak, as she tries to lay her mind bare for him. As she pauses, he reaches over and presses his fingers to her cheek, and she looks up at him. Her green eyes are filled with concern, and it's clear, so clear, that she's doing her best to be concise.

“What do you feel when I say 'I love you'?” he asks.

Anna's face goes red, and she presses into his hand, hiding.

“...happy,” she squeaks. “A-and... scared. A little. It... seems unreal?”

She peeks up at him, and Adrian can't help his smile. She's too cute, and he's well aware that he will murder for her if she asks it of him. Perhaps fortunately, there's nothing to murder, and Anna's much too good-natured for that.

“I love you,” he repeats gently, and grins a little as she hides her face again. “And I want to do much more than kiss you, but only if that's what you want too.”

Anna looks up at him slowly, and bites her lip uncertainly. Adrian doesn't move his hand, and after a moment she lets out a small breath and presses her cheek against his palm. She's still blushing fiercely, but something in her eyes has relaxed, and there is trust shining in them.

“...I think I might. I don't... I don't know. But... but I know... I know you won't hurt me on purpose.”

“Never,” he agrees, leaning down to gently press his forehead against hers. “Never never. If you tell me no, tell me to stop, I will, Anna.”

Oh, he hungers for her. He wants to feel her, taste her, know her, but he can't push here. Liesse will probably murder him if he tries.

Anna's eyes meet his, and he can feel the way her breath catches. He's not sure what she's seeing, but he's trying to hold back, worried that the strength of his love will be more frightening than anything else.

Whatever she sees, he feels her relax, and sees the way the corners of her eyes crinkle as she smiles tentatively.

“Okay. I trust you.”

Adrian tips his head, and presses his mouth to hers.

Liesse studiously ignores the tangle of limbs, blankets, and discarded clothing in the observatory as she makes her way to her morning shower.

It's about damn time.

“Hey Trevor. I know... I know you're never going to get this message. This is... about me, I guess, at this point. Maybe someday people will come to this world and find a cure, and find this PDA. Maybe then, you'll be able to get some closure.

“It's nice here, honestly. We've made a home down where it's dark, because Adrian's allergic to the sunlight, and it was that or confine him to the base for the rest of his life. I don't think it would have lasted too long. He's not good with confinement.

“He's a lot like you, except in the ways that seem to... to matter, I guess. I don't think he ever would have run away without some sort of plan, while we just kept reacting to the situations we found ourselves in.

“I'm not blaming you, Trevor. Never that. You are my best friend, and you saved my life, even when I didn't know I needed to be saved. I just wish we could have figured out a way for both of us to succeed that didn't turn out like... this.

“You'd like Abuela Li, I think. Once you got used to her. She's not as stern now; Adrian and I are basically her grandchildren, and there's no point in being all... distant.

“Adrian...

“I don't know how to describe him, honestly. He's... kind. Gentle. He's like you in being protective, in being the thing that will keep me safe no matter what, but... but he's calmer than you were. More... thoughtful, I guess. I don't know if you'd like him or want to punch him first, but I think you'd get along eventually.

“I miss you Trevor. I love you. I'm sorry I never said it before we got separated. I didn't understand how I felt, or what, and even here, now, I'm not too sure if I love you like the brother I never had, or... or like I love Adrian. As a romantic partner.

“I guess that would sound a little weird to hear, huh? You've never treated me as anything other than a little sister.

“I'm sorry Trevor. I really am. I wish I could get back to you. I miss you so much it hurts, and both Adrian and Abeula think it'll always hurt, because none of us really got to say a real goodbye. We have each other though, and I'm sending out the wish that you'll find someone for yourself someday. Maybe even more than one!

“....I don't know what to say now. How silly is that? I guess...

“I love you, Trevor.

“Goodbye.”

“It seems silly to compose such a thing to you, Asteria. You will never receive this, but perhaps Anna is right, and just speaking the words aloud will help the grief recede.

“You are strong. You, Merlena, Coen, all of you are amazing and wonderful, and I am glad to have known you, to have helped you grow from youngsters to adults. I am sorry I will not be able to see you again. I am sad to realize I will never know my other grandchildren, never see them enter or exit schools, or know what their careers will be. Never meet their spouses or great-grandchildren...

“Ach. I did not mean to start crying...

“I am not alone, fortunately. Anna and Adrian are here to provide comfort, friendship, and family. Anna is especially new to this, and you would like her, I think. You or Merlena would probably attempt to aggressively adopt her, and I'm not certain she would protest. Adrian would, but his family is... well, he has family to return to. Anna has only a cousin who is some to blame for her being in this predicament.

“I did not say it much to you, and for that I am truly sorry, but I hope you know how proud I am of you, and how much love I feel for all of you.

“Please, my children, I hope you have good lives. Good and long, full of many wonderful memories.”

“....Anna's suggested this to me a time or two, and I suppose... I suppose it can't hurt to try. Even if this only ends up being found decades later, these PDAs can withstand quite a lot, so I doubt they'll be too ruined.

“You all would love Anna. I know it. I know it because I love her, with everything I am. She's a bit like you, Mother, but I can't quite describe how. I just know that she's subtle in her strength, and she gives off such warmth... she's rather like the sun, and I the sunflower that is always facing her.

“Zel, the aquatic and land-based plants here are a marvel. Bioluminescent genese make for an amazing show at night. Not that I really know the difference between night and day these days, even with Liesse's sunlamps to simulate it for us....

“Sunny, Luna, this planet isn't quite the remote paradise you'd think; there's enough predatory fauna around here that some days we struggle to get back to base without getting hit by a crabsquid's EMP blast that takes out the primary power for the seamoth until the computer reboots, or a crashfish decides we've gotten too close to their nest and blows up in our faces.

“No, we really don't know why they do that. The reefbacks were wonderful though, when I was allowed up to see them.

“This disease is like nothing you've ever seen before Mother. I know you're not a disgnostician, or a disease researcher, but neither was Liesse when this started, and we've all had to... widen our job roles since landing here.

“Father, I wonder who you'll pick to run the company now? Luna? Sunny?

“Dimi, I...

“This is harder than I thought. I miss you all so... so very much. I wish we could be rescued. I wish we could find a cure, but we have no way of getting down to primary containment, not without crushing the seamoths we have, and likely ourselves.

“Part of me wants to scream and throw things like a small child. Have a tantrum about the unfairness of it all. Isn't that silly? But it's true.

“Anna helps, honestly. She's just... she keeps me calm. I don't think she realizes just how much of an affect she has on me. On anything, really. She can tame most of the violent wildlife, and oh, I'd send you so many pictures if I could, of her riding on the ghost rays, or when she founds that strange tree with ghost reaper eggs, surrounded by so many translucent creatures. I'd hazard to call her a goddess if I didn't know she's just as human, just as fallible as I am.

“I love her so much.

“Liesse helps too. I know I used to think she was intimidating, but honestly, she's just cautious. She's strong, and wise, and kind when kindness is needed. And to be fair, considering the nonsense on the ship, we did kind of deserve the stern doctor glaring us into submission.

“I know... I know you'll all want to find me. I want to be found, we all do. But we're all sick with an alien bacterium, and this planet will bring down any ship that tries to come into orbit. Really, all I can ask is that you don't. I don't want to say give up on me, but... move on with your lives.

“I wish I could say I won't forget you, but I can't promise that. The kharaa, it... messes with our DNA, damaging it, and sometimes that means damaging memories too. And who knows what will have happened by the time this is found.

“But I love you all. I hope you find safety, find happiness. I'm only sorry I won't be there to see it.”