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Jihoon finds peace in rainy days.
Maybe that's why his heart resonates along the sound of droplets outside the place they're staying for a content. It calms him down as he sat beside the railings with his back facing the glass door. It feels like watching the rain pour down in HD, the wind touching his skin as his eyes enjoys the cloudy weather that helps him to find his own peace.
But what if, he no longer find peace in cloudy weathers?
“Jihoon? I thought you were sleeping.”
And find it to someone else's like 4 years ago?
“Hyung.” He turned his head only to see a brown haired guy with highlights wearing his cozy black sweater, exposing his collarbones that makes Jihoon gulp, complementing his new hair cut.
Hyunsuk sat beside Jihoon, freezing with the sudden wind passing to his milky skin. “I was worried you went out to buy snacks while raining. I guess I was worried for nothing.”
“You can't sleep too?” Jihoon asks, eyes at the dark nightsky.
“Yeah.”
Silence enveloped between them. The drizzles of the rain, and gray clouds covering the moon as it reflects the moonlight. They're both watching the rain pouring down slowly as they feel peace in each other's company. The other members' soundly asleep, while here they are, enjoying the peace that the weather brought.
Or maybe, the peace Hyunsuk brought to Jihoon.
“Are the kids asleep already?”
“Yeah. Mashiho had a hard time falling asleep, but yeah, he's sleeping now.” Hyunsuk assured his co-leader with a smile, and Jihoon stared at him intently before nodding with a small smile playing on his lips.
Another moment of silence came. But it was more comfortable, and comforting for Jihoon. It's been a while since him and his only hyung become along together.
Alone together. He doesn't know if the terms makes sense, but all he knows is that—everything makes sense when Hyunsuk's around.
If that isn't something people called love, he doesn't know anymore.
“Remember the time we spent running around the park with Junkyu and the others? The time we ditched the last practice to loosen ourselves a bit just before the monthly assessment?” Laughing as he reminisce the memories of years ago, Hyunsuk looked heavenward.
“You tripped over a small rock that night and dances with a small bandaid on your knees because of your clumsiness, hyung.” Jihoon laughed, he remembered the time Hyunsuk passed the assessment with a bandaid plastered on his right knee.
Hyunsuk slaps his shoulder softly while laughing. “Yah! I'm not that clumsy.”
“Yeah? Really? Then explain why you broke 5 mugs back then when you were my roommate?” He retorts, Jihoon laughed when Hyunsuk confusedly looked at him with his eyes squinting and head tilting like his habit.
“That's... Okay, maybe I am clumsy.” Hyunsuk accepted defeat.
Silence engulfed the small space between them, and Jihoon felt his hip moving closer to his hyung with a smile on his face.
“What do you think about today's episode, hyung?” Jihoon asks, hand extended to feel the rain pouring still.
“It's fun. I had fun,” his hyung smiled at him. “And the kids seemed to enjoy the food, especially Junghwan.”
“Are you happy?”
“Yeah, of course. That surprise made me tear up, idiot.” Hyunsuk rolled his eyes to his dongsaeng.
“Good.”
“You? Are you happy? You seemed so calm earlier.”
“I am. Are you?”
“Jihoon, I said I am!”
“Good.”
“Good?”
“Then I am too,” calm eyes darting to the older. “I am happy too.”
Hyunsuk stopped his small giggles when he observed how Jihoon's tire-looking eyes looks at him as if he wants to say something through his eyes. He couldn't decipher what is it, but he knew, it is something so endearing because the last time he saw those stares—
It was years ago, from their trainee days.
“Why are you happy?”
“Because you are.”
“I am?”
“You said it earlier, hyung. C'mon.”
“I mean... you're happy because I'm happy?”
Jihoon became silent for good 10 seconds as he examined the features of somebody he always admire from afar, ever sincr his trainee days.
Jihoon asked himself. Why am I so caught up with this person?
“I'm thrice happier if you're happy, hyung. It's been happening for the last 4 years, you know. Your happiness will always be mine to enjoy,” scooting closer to Hyunsuk's face and putting a hand over his mullet hair.
“I've always depended my happiness to yours, that's why I find happiness in you. Perhaps, you are my happiness.”
Hyunsuk couldn't help but to shut his mouth and let Jihoon look at him adoringly.
“You may not know it, but look at me.” Jihoon offered a smile before ruffling his only hyung's hair.
“I'm happy. With you.”
The older guy doesn't know, but his eyes winces and glows with the sudden tears forming when he saw how beautiful Jihoon's words are. He thought, Jihoon is just being rarely sweet to him and will tease him when he tears up. Oh please, how oblivious is he?
“So, thank you.” Jihoon patted Hyunsuk's head and his smile didn't fade. “For the happiness you brought. For being with us, with me, through everything and all. Just being next to you feels right, and you always makes things feels right. Everything just makes sense when you're with me.”
“And I'm glad that, all the joy and sad days of my days, I shared those with you. You don't know how much I'm happy to know that I can share my joy with you, everyday. So, thank you so much, hyung.”
Hyunsuk's features were clouded with joy and confusion combined when he realized how sweet Jihoon is right now that his words made him feel something in his chest. And I'm telling you, that's not platonic you oblivious human.
The older man chuckles, wiping his supposed to be falling tears. “You sounded like confessing or something, Jihoon-ah.”
“Because maybe I am.”
“W-What?”
Jihoon just smiled, and shrugged before getting up from his seat, making Hyunsuk get up from his too.
Jihoon finds peace in rainy days.
Or maybe, he finds peace in someone else's.
“Yah! Jihoon-ah! What do you mean?”
“I don't know, hyung. Just gonna say it once and you should've opened your ears widely.”
“So you were confessing?”
Jihoon once again, shrugged, leaving a confused Hyunsuk on the doorway as he whines.
“Jihoonie!”
“Belated happy birthday, hyung. Goodnight.”
If they were to be compared to any season, they'll be the rainy one.
Because just like rain, they'll start from falling.