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taehyun wished that he noticed it sooner.
maybe the moment they'd snuck to the astronomy tower, deciding that beomgyu's fascination with the stars was more important than consequences for getting caught. that was truly such a telling moment, taehyun thinks. nothing is more important to taehyun than obeying orders; that's why he thinks he has the title of prefect (and going for head boy). throughout his entire experience at hogwarts, the worst thing taehyun has done was sit at a different house's table during meals. or the one time he got lost as a first year, but he refuses to blame himself for that. a muggle born wasn't going to get used to everything so quickly, and the professor didn't take away any house points. they directed him calmly into the ravenclaw dorms and went on with it.
so, he's confused why it didn't make him wonder anything when choi beomgyu, a gryffindor in his sixth year and taehyun's best friend, asks him to sneak away to the tower and he doesn't hesitate to nod. it was a magical experience, taehyun thinks. he doesn't regret it for a second, and it was a miracle that they didn't get caught.
"don't you think the stars are just... stunning?" beomgyu sighs, looking at the bright stars in the sky. "i wish i could stare at them for a lifetime,"
not as stunning as you.
"don't you do that already?" taehyun raises an eyebrow.
"i don't stare at the sky that much," he looks over to the ravenclaw and pouts, "its just... pretty,"
"it is," he admits, looking up.
it's pitch black at this time, which makes the stars stand out all that much more. it's oddly comforting, taehyun thinks. nights like these are nice- the ones where everything feels kind of still. it makes taehyun feel like nothing can touch him or hurt him; maybe that's with the additional effect of beomgyu being there.
when he turns away from the sky, instead looking at beomgyu, he feels like he can't even think properly. his thoughts of whatever calm just turn into thoughts of beomgyu. he looks so ethereal under this lighting- but somewhere in taehyun's mind, he acknowledges that the lighting has nothing to do with it. his brown hair looks so fluffy, and taehyun wants to ruffle it in his hands, but he quickly decides that it would be weird. beomgyu's eyes are shimmering like diamonds. they look up at the sky with such passion, such love that taehyun has to doubt that his only reason is because it looks pretty. taehyun loves when he sees this look in beomgyu's eyes. it's accompanied by a kind smile. the smile that feels like home and radiates so much warmth and happiness that taehyun could just melt.
"taehyun-ah,"
the voice is soft, and taehyun feels like he imagined it, but he responds anyways, "hm?"
"can i tell you the real reason i love going up here and looking at the stars?"
beomgyu looks tiny. small. fragile. vulnerable. his legs are held close to his chest and his arms are wrapped around them tightly. he's rocking back and forth, almost in a comforting manner. his eyes never leave the sky while he speaks to taehyun.
"go for it,"
"my parents died when i was seven," beomgyu doesn't let his voice waver, nor does he let tears well up in his eyes. taehyun wonders how, considering his reminiscing of such a sad memory. taehyun also wonders how he never noticed beomgyu's lack of parents, "in fact, i can remember my dad's corpse sitting there. you'd think that they'd be able to get rid of the body before i got home." he chuckles bitterly, "my mom saw it after i did. she committed suicide that same day. apparently, yeonjun and i weren't enough to live for and she only cared for my dad."
taehyun feels his heart breaking with the confession.
"i was always closer to my dad. he always said that once someone dies, they become a star," beomgyu smiles at the night sky. "so, whenever i look up at the sky, it's like my mom and dad are watching over me. it feels like being loved again. and i know that yeonjun is always there and whatnot, but i guess he's just so busy all the time,"
to share such an experience with taehyun felt like an honor, truly. beomgyu had this quiet space where he just looked and felt and lived and loved, and he invited taehyun to share it with him.
"i'm sorry that happened-"
"don't be," he finally takes his eyes off the sky, instead looking directly into taehyun's worried eyes. they stare at each other for a second, before beomgyu gives one of his adorable, comforting smiles, "i'm over it. it was ten years ago,"
"i'm honored that you'd share this with me,"
"you're my best friend, taehyun," he leans himself on taehyun, forcing himself to be smaller. "i'm honored that you actually came,"
"why do you feel honored about that?"
"you know how you are about rules. but you decided to break them. just for me and my stupid love of stars,"
"it's not stupid," taehyun pouts. "and like you said, we're best friends. of course, i'll be here with you."
"thank you,"
after a few seconds pass, taehyun is the one to break the silence.
"and what you said earlier, "it feels like being loved again"... i hope you do realize that you are loved. no one can ever replace your parents, of course, but people do love and care about you," taehyun says, meaning every word coming from his mouth.
"yourself included?"
"myself included."
"good. because you're the only one i care about,"
even though that moment was only few months ago, it's engraved in his head to the point where he thinks he'll remember it til he dies. it was so touching to him, and beomgyu was oh so beautiful that night.
though, he thinks he should've noticed sooner than the tower. maybe he should've started questioning it the first time beomgyu spent a break in the muggle world with taehyun. it was in the middle of winter, and taehyun decided to spend christmas with his family for the first time in years. his third year, he'd say- beomgyu's fourth. two years ago, yet the vision so vivid that he can perfectly remember everything about it. taehyun had asked beomgyu what his plans were over break, and taehyun's heart was in pain when beomgyu said that he was planning to just stay at hogwarts. of course, he'd done that the other years taehyun had known him, but that's what made it somewhat sadder. beomgyu had friends at hogwarts too, sure, but they weren't many and it didn't feel the same as being with a family. which is why taehyun doesn't think before asking beomgyu to come with him.
it wasn't the plan, nor had he asked his family (they'll say yes, no doubt), but seeing beomgyu shy away in the moment changed something.
luckily, everything worked out in taehyun's favor, and beomgyu was more than welcome to join them. it just meant one more gift to buy, and taehyun insisted that he would be the one to buy it and wrap it.
they ended up spending first snow together. it was magical, in taehyun's opinion.
"muggles are so odd," beomgyu chuckles, while the two are walking through the nearby park. "those weird box inventions are so fascinating,"
"...you mean the phone?"
"what kind of a name-? that only adds to my point. i suppose it's more efficient than letters and owls, but it's just so crazy how you can communicate through a tiny little box,"
"i mean, i guess,"
taehyun doesn't really understand how most wizards are so fascinated or excited by certain muggle devices. it's the way that taehyun was always raised, so he'd never thought much of it.
"do muggles play in the snow like wizards do?"
"i'd say so," taehyun nods, "but normally muggles actually take the time and effort to make the snowman, rather than just creating one with magic,"
"that sounds like too much work,"
"that's what makes it so satisfying once its done,"
the two continue to walk through the park, not making much sound. the entire park was basically empty, beomgyu and taehyun not seeing (or hearing) anyone else there. it's only when beomgyu bends over and stops walking does taehyun break out of whatever silent trance he was in. when he looks back, his shoulder is hit with something cold.
"yah!" he pouts, bending down to the snow to grab a handful. "you can't just hit me like that!"
"well, i did," beomgyu sticks a tongue out, also grabbing snow, "what are you gonna do about it?"
he quickly swallows his words, though, because as soon as his words leave his mouth, a snowball flies at his chest. taehyun smirks happily, "what am i gonna do about it, you say?"
"just because you're tiny doesn't mean i'll go easy on you,"
"i'm literally three centimeters smaller than you, fuck you," he scoffs, pulling out his middle finger. beomgyu lets out a soft laugh that makes taehyun want to join in. his laugh was contagious, that was quite a fact.
"you would-"
beomgyu is cut off by a snowball hitting his chest.
"oh, it's on,"
the two run around the park, chasing each other while throwing snowballs. it's only when beomgyu is running towards taehyun as fast as he can and he slips on ice that they stop. taehyun turns around in an attempt to stop him from falling, but sadly he's just as unstable on his feet. the two fall down to the ground, a layer of soft snow breaking their fall. taehyun catches himself with his hands, silently thanking the world for it not destroying his arms. beomgyu's head hits taehyun's chest pretty hard (taehyun checked for a bruise the next morning and it was surely there).
"ouch- fuck," beomgyu moves one of his hands up to touch his head. within a second, he notices taehyun under him and his eyes widen, "are you okay?"
taehyun stares at beomgyu for a second, just really looks at him. beomgyu is beautiful. his eyes are full of concern and care for the younger, which makes taehyun smile a little. there's a small amount of blush on his cheeks, but taehyun assumed that he was just cold from the snow. his hair has little flakes of snow in it, and it makes him look like some kind of winter fairy. that seemed like the most accurate comparison taehyun could make. beomgyu was truly a winter fairy.
the position they were in was slightly awkward, one of beomgyu's legs between taehyun's and one of his hands in the snow next to taehyun's waist. their faces were quite close. taehyun couldn't help but blush at it- silently blaming it on the cold.
"tyun?"
"a-ah, sorry," he waves off, "i'm fine. is your head alright?"
"it hurts a little, but i can survive," beomgyu smiles reassuringly, "don't worry about me,"
"you're in minor pain and not complaining as if you were dying? are you sure you're okay?" the younger jokes.
"shut up before i make you," he says with a small 'hmph'. taehyun smiles at the cute sight, his mind filled with beomgyu's small pout. he's pulled out of his thoughts by a small punch on his shoulder, "don't smile at me like that,"
beomgyu's uncharacteristically shy, and that slightly worried taehyun, "like what?"
he brushes it off with the shake of his head, "nothing,"
the two didn't discuss it for the rest of the day.
perhaps taehyun should've realized, though, the very moment they met. when the new muggle born had stepped foot on the platform and entered the train hesitantly. he got into the first empty compartment he saw, sitting by himself quietly, his mind flurried with thoughts. the door to the compartment was closed behind him; he hoped that people would regard this as a full compartment, but he was proven wrong almost immediately.
"hey!"
taehyun's pulled from his questions about the magical world by a kid- probably about his age?- who opened the door. he had fluffy brown hair and a large smile on his face. it was an oddly happy... oddly contagious smile. taehyun doesn't let himself smile, though.
"you don't mind if i sit here, right?"
taehyun shakes his head.
"sexy," he says with a smile, to which taehyun is confused why he used sexy of all words to describe being able to sit there. "i would cry if i had to spend another year trailing behind my brother and his boyfriend," the boy pretends to barf, "they're disgustingly romantic."
taehyun nods his head understandingly.
"not one for talking, huh?"
he shakes his head.
"mute or just quiet?"
"just quiet."
"what's your name, mr. mysterious and sexy and "just quiet"? and you're a first year right?"
"kang taehyun," he doesn't comment on the boy's odd nickname. "and yes. is it obvious?"
"nope! i just don't recognize you," he waves off, "kang taehyun, though? what a fitting name," when taehyun doesn't respond, the boy continues, "i'm a second year, so you should call me hyung!"
"what's your name, hyung?" taehyun asks, a little (just a little) intrigued.
"you don't know?" his eyes widen and he starts absolutely beaming when taehyun shakes his head. "my name is choi beomgyu. you're a muggle born, aren't you?"
taehyun nods.
"nice!" he says to himself, "well, you are quite lucky, because your new best friend is the most popular person in the school,"
"how did that happen?" taehyun snorts.
"well, kang taehyun, i'm both sexy and smart, so why wouldn't i be?" he smirks, "if you need help with any of your classes... or quidditch! only if you get into gryffindor, though. i'm not gonna teach you my secrets if you're gonna go off and be in a different house,"
"hm?"
for a second, beomgyu's eyebrows furrow, before he realizes, "oh yeah! you're a first year muggle born- i forgot," he laughs awkwardly, "you didn't read up about hogwarts, did you?"
taehyun shakes his head.
"ah. well, there's four houses: gryffindor (the superior one), slytherin, ravenclaw, and hufflepuff," beomgyu explains, "you don't seem like much of a gryffindor, though,"
"what's that supposed to mean?" taehyun raises an eyebrow at the implication.
"you seem too..." beomgyu looks him up and down, trying to find the right word, "... too quiet,"
"gryffindors are loud, then?"
"oh, tyunnie," he laughs, "i'm a gryffindor. what do you expect?"
taehyun's mouth forms an o and he nods.
"but don't worry- even if you aren't put in the best house of them all, you'll still be my best friend, won't you?"
with the bite of his lip and a small glance around their compartment, he nods, "i suppose."
"hell yeah!" beomgyu shouts excitedly, clapping. "in honor of my beautiful win today, do you want some fun wizarding candy? on me, of course,"
taehyun doesn't know what to respond, but he quietly mutters, "i can pay myself,"
"don't worry about it, tyun,"
he quickly learns that wizarding candy isn't nearly as good as normal muggle candy (he's extremely happy he didn't end up paying for whatever the hell he ate). but it was nice to hear beomgyu ramble about so many different things while taehyun sat and listened. beomgyu specifically had a thing for collecting the cards in chocolate frog packets.
another thing quickly learned is that people don't quite enjoy taehyun being next to beomgyu all the time. he was starting to believe beomgyu's statement on being the most popular person, because the amount of people who had barged into their compartment asking for beomgyu was unreal. and every single time, beomgyu would say, "sorry, i'm in the middle of talking to tyun right now. i'm sure whatever you want to discuss can wait, cant it?"
everyone grumbled an "okay", sending taehyun a glare before leaving.
either way, they did have to depart when taehyun followed the first years and beomgyu went off with the seconds. beomgyu gave a sad smile and wave, but had previously reassured him that they could meet each other the next day and in any classes they'd have together.
he meets huening kai while the first years are getting a small lecture before putting on what the professors had called "the sorting hat". they talk for a bit (taehyun already knows that kai is going to end up in hufflepuff, from the descriptions beomgyu had given him on the train ride), before taehyun's name is called loudly. kai gives him a thumbs up, and taehyun goes to sit on the chair, where the hat would be placed on him. it only takes three or so seconds for the hat to yell out "ravenclaw!" as loudly as possible.
while on his way to the ravenclaw table, he meets eyes with beomgyu, who gives him a wide smile and a thumbs up. he looks incredibly uncomfortable at the gryffindor table, and he doesn't speak much to the people surrounding him.
taehyun is welcomed to the ravenclaw table by a lot of people- notable ones being the prefect named minghao, and a second year named heeseung. eventually he gets into a conversation with a fellow first year- park sunghoon. even with these new friends he makes, he keeps looking back at beomgyu who looks like he'd rather be anywhere else. a smile sits on his lips, but taehyun can tell it's fake.
after a while of talking to his housemates, he turns to look at beomgyu, who seems to be in a conversation with a first year. what was his name? jaeyun? beomgyu's fake smile becomes much more natural looking, and taehyun can't help but smile at it. he's only brought back to the ravenclaw table when sunghoon calls his name.
beomgyu and taehyun decide to meet in the courtyard the next day.
taehyun supposes that throughout the past five years, he really did know. from the second he looked at beomgyu's adorable face barging into the compartment, he was in love. and he hates that he only realized it because of his potions class.
towards the end of taehyun's fifth year, months after he met beomgyu at the astronomy tower (and had been going with him ever since), their potions class brews amortentia. and it's only then that he realizes that the smell of chocolate frogs, the astronomy tower, snow, and beomgyu's cologne are what comforts him most. smelling the potion makes everything that's been traveling through his head come together.
he knows that he's been avoiding beomgyu since he made this realization. he knows that beomgyu knows that something is wrong with him. he knows that he should talk to beomgyu. but he can't bring himself to do so. because he knows that the second that beomgyu gives the smallest smile, taehyun's going to manage to fall even further. and he's already in too deep.
at first, he brings it up with kai. he tells kai absolutely everything that he's realized and kai can't help but giggle. taehyun looks at him seriously, and that's all it takes for kai to give him serious advice. advice that taehyun really didn't want to hear.
it's only when yeonjun brings it up to taehyun how his baby brother is absolutely suffering without him. apparently, beomgyu had spoken to yeonjun days ago about it and blamed everything on himself and had been sobbing every night. yeonjun didn't ask taehyun what his reason was for avoiding beomgyu or anything, but he leaves him with the words "talk to beomgyu".
taehyun wonders why his avoidance has such an impact on beomgyu. something that he never understood, all five years of their friendship, was why beomgyu was so insistent to spend time with taehyun. he latched himself onto taehyun one day and now he ignores almost everyone else. the entire school thirsts over him, but he declines it all just for taehyun. why?
well, he supposed that he was going to get answers eventually.
which is why that night, taehyun sneaks up to the astronomy tower, knowing that beomgyu would be there. and he is. in fact, taehyun catches him while he's still standing up, not yet sat in his small ball that makes him look so much smaller than 180 centimeters. without much thought, taehyun grabs his wrist and spins him so they face each other. it's been weeks since they've spoken and beomgyu looks miserable. beomgyu's eyes are red and puffy and his hair is a mess. taehyun feels terrible immediately.
"hyung,"
"tyun?"
silence overtakes them, and taehyun curses himself silently for not having a plan.
"w-why have you been avoiding me?" beomgyu breaks the silence.
taehyun doesn't answer his question, instead responding with a different one, "what does amortentia smell like for you?"
beomgyu shies away at the question, "why do you ask?"
"let's not keep answering questions with more questions,"
"you started it," he pouts, sticking out his tongue. taehyun smiles at that, knowing beomgyu can still manage to be his childish self in such a situation.
"fine, i'll answer your questions first. "why do i ask?"- well, i ask because a few weeks ago during potions, we were brewing it. and of course, professor kim had us smell it. i always had an idea of what it would smell like for me- new books, rain, flowers-"
"boring," beomgyu teases.
"mean," taehyun scoffs with a pout, "anyways, i went smelled it immediately and i was so prepared for some weird combination of those three smells. but it wasn't any of them-"
"what tops your love of new books, then?" he raises an eyebrow, still teasing, "school?"
"you."
beomgyu has to blink a few times. taehyun can feel his eyes scanning his face for any sign of joking, and even though he doesn't find one, he still gives a fake laugh, "tyunnie, don't joke around about stuff like th-"
"i'm not joking," he takes a deep breath, so ready to be rejected and pushed away. when it's silent and still, he decides to continue, "the most intense smell was definitely your cologne. but there were definitely hints of chocolate frogs, snow, and the astronomy tower. and to answer your other question: why i've been avoiding you... it's because i'm scared. because i know that you don't feel the same and that i'm going to be miserable knowing that i'm so hopelessly in love with you but you wouldn't feel the same. and i guess avoiding you was dumb, since the reason was to salvage our friendship but frankly, avoiding you kinda destroys it just as much," he lets out a bitter laugh, "i'm sorry, hyung,"
"you're such an idiot,"
the words are quiet, barely a whisper, and taehyun even questions if he really heard it at all. but the way beomgyu is turned away, blush on his cheeks, and giggling so adorably... he surely said it.
"y-you don't have to be mean about it, hyung,"
"no, no," beomgyu uses his hand- the one that isn't being held by taehyun's- to wave in a way that means 'i had no intent of being mean'. "it's just... i cant believe how oblivious you are."
taehyun's eyebrows furrow. beomgyu just laughs a little more.
"tyunnie, you are the last person in the entire universe to find this out," he takes a step closer to taehyun, putting his hand on the younger's jaw. "but i am hopelessly in love with you too,"
beomgyu's breath is on taehyun and his hand is holding his jaw so gently and they're far too close for taehyun to have any sort of thoughts. his brain is just chanting beomgyu's name over and over. repeatedly until two words slip from his lips, "kiss me."
the giggle that beomgyu lets out is world the universe, and taehyun's lips twitch up because of it, "can do."
their lips connect like puzzle pieces. in the moment, everything feels absolutely perfect- like nothing could even touch them. it was just beomgyu and taehyun on the astronomy tower, showing the person they love just how much they love them. they both smile into their kiss, which only raises both of their spirits more. they're young and in love. they want to live in this moment forever.
"you're beautiful,"
beomgyu says, out of breath with swollen lips, staring directly into taehyun's eyes.
"shut up and kiss me again."