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Sirius appeared in front of Godric Hollow as any other day, but this time, everything was different.
The news have reached him faster than he wished they would, but it still took him some time to breath, take a seat and let the reality sink in. They were dead. He could have sob, he could have scream and break things but first there was an important thing he needed to do. So he did.
He knew where to find Peter, where that slippery rat could be hiding. He was right. After getting Peter out of his hiding place, Sirius pinned him to the nearest wall, wand in hand. He could have let his fury guide him, but seeing Peter shaking and looking completely terrified of him, Sirius felt pity. Pity for such a coward.
Sirius slowly said what he needed, only getting angrier as Peter mumbled that they were friends after all. Good thing Moody arrived in that instant, else Sirius could have killed Peter right there and there. Moody took him away, promising Sirius that he would take care of everything.
Sirius took a shivering breath as he stood outside the ruins of his best friend´s home. He have been holding back his tears, his anger, his sadness, he couldn´t cry just yet. Slowly, as if fearing that there was still more fatal surprises, he opened the gate. It creaked, it always did that. It hurt. The lawn was soft, and the door, the door was ajar. Sirius stepped inside, hoping for a miracle, already mourning. He crossed the living room, watching the calmness, as if everything was just asleep.
He bumped into something. Sirius looked down and couldn´t help that scream that left him. James. On the floor, looking at nothing, laid his best friend. Sirius started to breathe harder, the tears flowed without him being able to control them. Sirius started sobbing. James looked so peaceful, as he had never been, but his face, his face showed the fierce that have always been known to him. He had died brave.
Sirius kept going, he didn´t want to leave his mate alone, but there was force guiding him up. Sirius started to ascend, each step heavier than the last, his shoe making no sound against the carpet. There was a sound coming from Harry´s bedroom. Sirius stopped at the top floor and rested his back against the wall. He needed air. He needed to make sure that the whimper was real, and not his need to find live in the house. He gathered all of his courage and went on, he needed to do this, for James.
At the end of the hallway was Harry´s room, a sudden dread caught Sirius, and he felt the need to throw up. How can he, You Know Who, dared walk that hallway? Sirius kept going. The door was ajar and the first thing that he noticed was Lily´s body, lying in the middle of the room. Sirius couldn´t help but to smile between his tears. Lily looked so fierce, so brave, as sure as any other time she defended those who she loved. The whimper continued.
Sirius took all of his courage and looked up from Lily. There, in the crib, stood Harry. He was alive. Sirius didn´t know who started crying but the second they noticed each other, he let his tears run free and Harry started screaming, holding his arms up, and trying to reach Sirius.
It only took him a second to cross the room and take Harry in his arms. Next second, and Sirius has sitting on the floor, cross-legged and holding the crying baby close to him, protecting him from everything.
Harry cried, his screams long silenced feeling safe between his godfather´s arms. Harry cried and Sirius didn´t knew for how long. Then Sirius cried, Harry had already fallen asleep. Sirius kept crying.
Sirius couldn´t tell how long have passed, but he was sure that he had been crying for the whole of it. He couldn´t move, not knowing if it was not to wake up Harry or because he couldn´t get himself too. Either way, he couldn´t rest until both of them were safe, but Sirius still couldn´t move.
That´s why he heard it. The gate, the steps, the breath. In between his sadness, he had been alert all this time. He knew that if anything bad happened, he was still fast enough, even carrying a baby, to deflect an attack. But what came out of him was sight of relieve when he recognized the voice.
“Sirius?”
Remus. He didn´t need to look up to know that Remus was here, with him, with his friends, and with the baby that both swear to protect.
“Sirius, are you okay? I heard the news, both of them, about Peter too, and came here as fast as I could. Sirius.”
Sirius hold the baby closer, harder.
“Sirius, please look at me, love. I´m here, we´re okay, he´s… they…”
“… are dead.” Sirius completed the sentence and that´s when all sank in. They were dead, James and Lily. Their happiness was destroyed, they wouldn´t be able to love and laugh and see Harry grow anymore. Sirius cradled Harry closer, if that was even possible, and started screaming.
Remus let him and only kneeled on the floor to hold them both. Remus was crying and yet couldn´t get himself to imagine how Sirius was feeling after losing his best friend.
After some minutes Remus let go of them and stood up.
Sirius looked up and felt the energy to stand up and do something reach him as he saw Remus grab a baby bag and start looking in Harry´s closet. “What are you doing?”
Remus didn´t stop what he was doing, getting in the bag diapers, clothes, blankets and bottles. “We can´t stay here, this isn´t safe.” When he turned around looking for some toys, Remus´s sad face met Sirius´s of confusion. “I know, but I´m not only saying it because of the death eaters. We´ll take him wherever you want to.”
“Home."
That´s all it took for Sirius to get up, taking care of not waking up Harry and grab some blankets to cover him from the cold October night.
Remus smiled and closed the bag, already making a mental list of what they needed to buy and what they could come back and get later.
As they crossed the room towards the door, Sirius knelt down, balancing Harry with one arm and took Lily´s hand with his free hand. “Lily, we´ll take care of him, I promise We´ll raise him as you wanted.” Sirius started to tear up a bit again. “What I can´t promise is that I won´t make him listen to Queen.” Sirius let out a wet laugh and some more tears. “But I promise you he will be happy.”
He stood up and followed Remus out of the door, sure that his boyfriend would already be planning the funeral. They went down and when they reached the living room, Remus took Harry from Sirius.
Sirius knelt by James and allowed his mind guide him, falling on the floor and hugging James. “Mate, he will be a strong little boy, I swear. He will be brave and cheerful and a great quidditch player. I promise,” Sirius took a breath, “I promise that he will remember you both, that he will love you as much as you lo… loved him. He will never forget you, never. I solemnly swear.” Sirius got up after a last hug to his best mate, took Harry back from Remus and followed him out of the house and into the pitch dark night.
Hagrid was there, standing up, patient, waiting for something.
Remus was the first one to approach him, Sirius standing behind, keeping Harry safe.
Once Hagrid noticed them, he moved. He seemed to have been crying, but haven´t all? It seemed as if any person who knew the Potters was unwilling to face the truth inside the house.
“Hagrid,” Remus said, “what…”
“I´m here to take him home, Dumbledore´s orders”
That didn´t sound good to Sirius, he held Harry closer. As he noticed, Remus´s stance shifted, he looked tense, ready to attack.
“What?”
“I´m sorry, Sirius but Dumbledore said that little Harry should be with his family. I have to take him to Lily´s sister. Dumbledore said he will be safe there.”
“Bullshit!” Sirius had thought of a harder word but was taken aback that it was Remus the first one to react.
“I am his godfather, I am his family. I will keep him safe!”
“But…”
“Tell that to Dumbledore, that if he wants to take Harry away, he will need to take him away from me.”
“But you were their secret keeper, how can I beli…”
“Wasn´t me,” Sirius took a deep breath, feeling venom coming out with the name, “it was Peter. Peter told You Know Who about this place.”
“Sirius…”
“Hagrid,” Remus walked back, closer to Sirius, “please”
“Take my bike if you need a ride, here.” Sirius took out the bike´s keys from his front pocket at threw them at Hagrid, “take my keys.”
Both Remus and Hagrid were surprised by Sirius´s statement, he was willing to give away his baby for Harry. “It´s at my flat.” That phrase still hurt both Sirius and Remus, Dumbledore´s dumb idea that it would be safer for them to hide in separate places.
“Thank you, and I will tell him that, Sirius. Good man that you´re.” Said Hagrid before walking away and disappearing into the darkness.
After watching Hagrid leave, and knowing that there was a fight coming, Remus and Sirius started walking. Before disappearing, they closed the gate and took a last look to the Potter´s home. “Grimuald Place,” said Sirius and both disappeared.
“Why Grimuald Place?” Asked Remus.
They have arrived some time ago, and after running all the way up to Sirius´s room, ignoring Mrs Black´s screams, they have put baby Harry on Sirius´s bed making sure he was still asleep.
“Mh?"
Remus have made space on a table and was picking Harry´s things out of the baby bag, “Why here of all places?”
“Because,” Sirius was looking down at James and Lily´s wedding picture, the one which Sirius had photo bombed, they were smiling back at him, “because I hate it here, and I don´t think that Dumbledore or anyone would think about looking for us here. Why… why would I go to a place I hate on a day like this?” Sirius turned to see Remus, he needed the comfort and when they locked eyes, both of them where tearing up. Sirius let out a shaky breath.
“Hey,” Remus crossed the room and hugged him, “it´s okay, it´s going to be alright, okay? I´m here with you, and Harry is with us, safe. I know, that we need to get a better place but you are right, here is perfect, at least for tonight, okay?” Sirius hugged him tighter, and Remus couldn´t tell who was holding together who. “We need to rest. We´ll go to sleep and tomorrow we will plan, everything that needs planning, alright?” Remus felt Sirius nod against his shoulder, and he took that opportunity to take him down to the floor with him.
“Please don´t leave us.”
“I won´t,” Remus kissed Sirius´s forehead, “I won´t.”
“Sirius, Remus, are you here?”
What alerted them of the new arrival´s presence, have actually being Mrs Black´s screams. Maybe they should stay here and use the portrait as a door bell. But the voice, Sirius´s blood froze.
He untangled himself from Remus and grabbed his wand in a swift motion. Remus got up as well and checked the pillows around Harry, he was sure that the owner of that voice wouldn´t ask someone to kidnap Harry while they deal with him, he used other kind of dirty tricks.
They made their way down and into the hallway, if they were right Mrs Black was still screaming because he was still there. They were right.
“I came here to take Harry.”
“Away, away from us, that´s what you want to take him away from, Dumbledore, but let me tell you that we won´t let you do that!” Sirius couldn´t help to scream but he was furious, furious that Dumbledore had convinced him that Peter should be secret keeper, furious that Dumbledore had not allow him to see his friends except for special occasions and so couldn´t have more time with his best mate and his family, furious that he now wanted to take away the last bit of James.
“And please, tell that woman to shut up.” Said Remus, worried that the screams would wake up the sleeping baby.
“Sirius, you don´t understand.”
How much did Sirius had come to hate that peaceful stand of his, that of an old man.
“You are the one who doesn´t understand. I am his godfather! James and Lily trusted me to take care of him and I will! SO I WILL PROTECT HIM AND IF I NEED TO START WITH YOU SO I WILL!”
“You don´t understand, he needs a good house to live in. He needs a place that can conceal him from all of this until he is old enough to understand. His muggle family….”
Remus was furious as well and would have let Sirius do all the screaming and fighting, but Dumbledore´s words have made his blood boil. “I´m sorry, Dumbledore, but we have followed each and every one of your rules, and where does that have taken us to? I agree with Sirius, we are his family. You know as well as us that Lily´s sister never wanted to have anything to do with her or her family, we tried talking to her to no avail. So you think that that is safe? A place where magic is like a bad word and where they won´t give a shit about his parents?!”
“What neither of you understand Remus, is that Sirius is not well liked in the order.” Sirius stopped pacing and took a deep breath but Dumbledore kept talking. “Until Peter speaks and everything is resolved! Hagrid told me that you explained him everything.”
“And when,” said Sirius looking Dumbledore straight in the eyes. Grey meeting blue. Anger meeting calm, “when is EVERYTHING going to be resolved. You are in the Order, you know that I´m telling the truth! You have ways of making Peter speak, I know you do, so do it! MAKE THAT FUCKING RAT SPEAK, MAKE HIM SAY WHAT A COWARD AND WHAT AN UNLOYAL FRIEND HE REALLY IS. I DON´T CARE BUT I´M NOT GIVING YOU HARRY AND YOU CAN TRY WATHEVER YOU WANT TO…”
“I will not allow you to shout at me like that, Sirius.” Dumbledore interrupted him, finally raising his voice.
Remus was faster, maybe because he had been expecting it since the beginning, but as Dumbledore was withdrawing his wand, Remus had already expelled it out of his reach.
“GET OUT OF OUR HOUSE!”
The sound of Dumbledore´s wand hitting the floor woke up Mrs Black´s portrait who apparently had been paying attention to the fight in front of her. Harry started crying.
“Well,” Dumbledore folded his arms and started walking towards the door, “I see that this is the case. If anything happens, I now know where to find you.” He walked calmly towards the door, picked up his wand and closed it behind him.
Remus was still in a defensive stance when the door clicked. Sirius behind him, breathing hard. The couple still waited a few seconds to make sure that the man was gone before rushing, Remus to close Mrs Black´s portrait and Sirius to calm down Harry.
“Hey,” Sirius was cuddling Harry when Remus entered the room, “it´s stupid to ask you how you are feeling, I know. We should just get some rest and figure everything out tomorrow, I know the kind of decisions that you make when tired.” Both men laughed at that.
Sirius sighted. “I just don´t want him to suffered any more. His parents are dead and… and he has this huge scar on his forehead…”
“Yeah, I´ve seen it”
“…and I just wish he can be a happy boy.”
“I know, love, I know.”
After putting Harry down in the middle of the bed, Sirius and Remus got ready for bed, falling into the familiar dance that they hadn´t be able to make in a long time.
When they got in bed, Harry between them both, wands ready, they stayed a long time only looking at each other. Drinking in the sight of the person they loved the most.
Sirius was sitting at the kitchen table trying to give Harry a bottle, the diaper change had been a disaster, while Remus made them both breakfast.
They had woken up an hour ago and resumed last night activity, starring at each other, until a fussy baby remind them of last night´s events and what was ahead for them. Their getting out of bed had been heavy but together they had manage to make it into the kitchen with a clean baby.
They were starting to enjoy their morning, forgetting even if it was for a little while their worries, when an owl arrived. Sirius immediately recognized the handwriting and left the kitchen, Harry in arms, leaving Remus to deal with the letter.
Sirius was cuddling Harry and showing him the garden outside the living room´s window when Remus arrived, relieve written all over his face. It was something good.
“Peter,” their ex friend?, God it was hard, “Peter has spoken, he said the whole truth. We are going to keep Harry.”
Remus was tearing up. Sirius was tearing up. One less problem, even though they still needed to heal, plan the funeral and think about Harry´s future, it was good news. They smiled to each other before hugging and getting back to their forgotten breakfast.
The sun was coming from the window, light drizzle falling in the garden. They were going to be alright. It was a new day.