Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

They were out of options.

Jester had watched Veth go down just a moment ago and Fjord had gone off somewhere too, whether it was by choice or due to one of the Somnovem forcing his hand she didn’t know, but knowing wouldn’t make a difference really, not right now anyway.

“Caduceus!” She called, nodding over to where Veth was on the ground, beaten and bloody, hidden between something that should have been the rubble of a building, but even from over here, Jester could see the fleshy ground move beneath her friend, and she had to resist the urge to gag.

Lucien’s laugh echoed around them as he suddenly teleported across the field and appeared right in front of Caleb, who had been the last one to attack him and had also managed to do a good amount of damage. He had been starting to show some wear and tear, but he didn’t look nearly as close to the brink of death as Jester would have liked him to.

“I’m on it!” Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as Caduceus made his way towards Veth and Yasha, who had stepped in front of their friend to protect her, while Beau stood where Lucien had been just a moment ago, her fists raised as if ready to punch. “Fuck!”

It felt like he was always one step ahead of them, and no matter how hard they tried, he always managed to come back stronger.

“Caleb!” He’d always had a trick up his sleeve though, every battle they had fought they had managed to come out the other side alive, and Jester simply had to trust that Caleb would find a way to turn this one around, too. He had always come through for her, had always been around when she had needed him most and had always found a way to make her smile, even when it had been the furthest thing from her mind, and she refused to believe that there was nothing he could do.

Jester. It took her a moment to realize that he wasn’t really speaking, but that his voice was in her head. Given any other situation she might have giggled at being on the receiving end of this, instead of being the one to send a message, but the way he spoke her name somehow made her chest tighten and their eyes instantly met across the battlefield. Jester could see him taking in all the little details around him, calculating the best way to get them out of this situation alive, and she could pinpoint the exact moment he made a decision, too.

It felt like something clicked into place and his eyes became more focused, and for a moment Jester felt relief. If Caleb had a plan, then they were going to be okay, Caleb always knew what he was doing.

There was the hint of a smile forming on her face as she looked back at him, and it lasted right up until the moment she watched him pull the staff from his back and grab it with both hands.

“Caleb? What...” She managed, but his voice rang in her head again, cutting her off.

I’m sorry, and then, before Jester could even call out for him again, I love you.  It took her a moment to fully register what he had said, because for a few seconds she was sure that she had made the whole thing up. There was no way Caleb could be in love with her. He had always been in love with Astrid, and Jester had resigned herself to just being his friend, because whether or not he was in love with her, he still made her feel all warm and tingly inside, and no matter how terrible the situation, he had always found a way to make her smile, and to make her believe in herself.

With her hand outstretched towards him, Jester wanted to move, but didn’t even make it one step into his direction as she watched him bring the staff down over his knee, effectively breaking it in half.

There was a brief moment of complete silence, as if someone had stopped time, before the explosion hit and Jester had to close her eyes, her previously outstretched arm thrown over her face in an attempt to protect herself from the blinding light.

She expected the pain to follow suit, but nothing came. Counting to ten in her head, she eventually blinked her eyes open, trying to get a clear picture of the situation.

Beau, Yasha, Caduceus and Veth were still where she had seen them a moment ago, but looking across the square, Caleb and Lucien were nowhere to be found.

“Caleb!” Jester felt her chest tighten as she stumbled forward into the direction where she had last seen him, very nearly tripping and falling over something on the ground. It took her a moment to realize that it was Lucien’s body, or the half of it that hadn’t been completely burnt to ash anyway. If she hadn’t known that he’d been here just a moment ago, she wouldn’t have recognized the blackened and charred body of the person who had once been their friend.

“Caleb? Caleb!” She could feel the panic taking over, her hands beginning to shake as she looked around, but there was no sign of him anywhere. The battle was over, and they had won, but it didn’t feel like that at all.

“Caleb!” Her voice was shaking as she screamed, her eyes beginning to fill with tears and blurring her vision. Dropping to her knees, Jester began pushing the rubble aside, as if he’d suddenly appear if she did, but there was no Caleb, no comforting hand for her to hold, no calm voice in a familiar accent, telling her that she knew what to do.

Caleb was gone, and it felt like he had taken part of Jester with her.

Essek was the first one to reach her, and Jester grabbed him by the cloak, tears now streaming down her face. “Do something! You have to do something!” She yelled, her voice breaking, and if she had been in her right mind, she would have probably noticed that Essek looked as distraught as she did.

“Jester...I don’t think I can...” the words registered in her mind with a slight delay, and she let go of him, going back to digging through the rubble of the city that had brought them nothing but chaos and pain, and it wasn’t the kind of chaos Jester enjoyed.

“We have to do something...we can’t just leave him here...we have to bring him back!” She briefly thought about the diamond in her pocket, the one they had regarded as a safety net while coming here, but it was useless if there was no body to be found.

“Jester.” Fjord’s voice barely made it through to her and the hand on her shoulder was shaken off almost angrily.

“This can’t be it...guys...please...” she muttered, trying to fight the way it was becoming harder and harder to breathe. “Arty? Arty where are you? You have to help him...”

“Jester.” Now it was Caduceus that spoke up, careful not to touch her, and yet his words hit her harder than Fjord’s gesture had. “Sometimes...sacrifices must be made for the greater good. We...all have decisions to make...”

“No!” Jester made no attempt to wipe the tears off her cheeks as she turned to face her friends. “You can’t just give up on him! He saved us!” And he loves me. And I didn’t get to say it back! The words got stuck in her throat and Jester felt like she was about to throw up, the reality of losing Caleb, of him making the choice to be a goddamn hero without even thinking about how much it was going to hurt her, hitting her with such force that she toppled over onto her hands and knees.  “I wish none of this had ever happened!”

“Jester...” Her scream echoed off the still remaining buildings then, and before anyone else could even attempt to calm her down, there was a flash of light, and the brief appearance of a green cloak, blink or you’d have missed it, before everything went dark.

-

When Jester came back to herself, the first thing she noticed was the cool breeze and the sound of the waves crashing onto the shore. It took her a moment to blink her eyes open, and another one to realize that she wasn’t in the Cognouza Ward anymore, she wasn’t even in Aeor.

Shooting up into a sitting position, she found herself glancing around, slowly realizing that she was back in her old bedroom at the Lavish Chateau. It was all still there, the bed, the huge open window with its perfect view over the city and the drawings on the walls of various sizes and skill.

How had this happened? How had she gotten here when, a moment ago, she had been in that terrible city, mourning the loss of one of her closest friends, or more so, mourning the loss of the man she was in love with.

“Caleb!” Swinging her legs out of bed, Jester very nearly stumbled as she made her way towards the door, pulling it open. The corridor was empty, safe for Bluud, who had taken up his usual place in front of her mother’s door.

Closing the distance between them, she watched as he furrowed his brows slightly at her agitated state but made no attempt to stop her from opening the door. Marion was sat on her bed, a book in hand, her lips curving into a smile as she noticed Jester approaching.

“My little Sapphire, there you are.” Her voice was warm and comforting, and Jester would have loved to simply throw herself into the other’s arms for comfort right there and then. “I was going to ask you to have breakfast with me earlier, but you were sleeping so soundly that I didn’t want to disturb you. Were you up all night painting again?”

“Painting?” Jester couldn’t quite hide the irritation in her voice as she replied, “No. No I wasn’t. Momma, have you seen my friends? Are they okay?”

“Your friends?” There was a pause where she closed the book and put it aside, her head cocked to the side as she took in her daughter’s slightly frazzled appearance. “If you’re speaking of your friend The Traveler, then I have to regret to inform you that he still hasn’t made an attempt to introduce himself to me, so I’m afraid I can’t help you with that.” Reaching out, Marion placed a hand against Jester’s cheek with a smile, “But I’m sure he will eventually.”

“Artagan? No, no I wasn’t talking about him.” Jester shook her head, “I was talking about my other friends, Momma. Caduceus, Veth, Fjord, Yasha...” She didn’t quite manage to say Caleb’s name out loud, because the simply thought of him caused the knots in her stomach to tighten almost unbearably.

Marion’s expression had momentarily changed from soft to confused as she seemed to think about how best to respond to her daughter’s words. “I’m...afraid you haven’t told me about your new friends before, my little Sapphire. But...one of these names does ring a bell,” She then nodded, “Yasha...I believe she’s just been hired as extra security at the Chateau. If I’m not mistaken, she should be downstairs with Carlos, receiving instructions. I didn’t know you had already made friends with her, I’m glad.”

For a moment, Jester didn’t respond, trying to make sense of the words her mother was speaking, but when it finally hit her, she found herself looking up to meet the other’s eyes. “Momma, what date is it?”

“Today? The 16^th of Brussendar, I believe.” Marion replied, but Jester just shook her head.

“No. I meant...what year is it?” She could feel her heart beating rapidly in her chest as she waited for the answer, watching as her mother’s lips curved into a smile.

“Oh you really are a little Trickster, my Sapphire.” She then chuckled. “It’s 835, what else would it be?”

Chapter Text

Oh no.

Jester had figured that something would be up the moment she had woken up in her own bed with no recollection of how she had gotten there, but somehow this wasn’t what she had expected.

I wish none of this had ever happened! Her own voice rang in her head and while she had always known that Artagan was powerful, she hadn’t thought that he’d be able to undo time. That seemed like a complicated thing to do, and even Essek and Caleb, who were two of the most powerful people she knew, hadn’t studied it much yet.

Caleb. Images of him came flooding back in an instant, the way their eyes had met across the battlefield, the soft smile he wore sometimes that was usually reserved for her and his voice inside her head.

I’m sorry. I love you. The pain hit her in an instant, and Jester very nearly doubled over, showing enough of an emotion to have Marion worry, it seemed.

“Jester, my Darling, is everything alright?” She had reached out to rest her hand on her daughter’s shoulder and it took all of Jester’s willpower to hold herself together. If this was anything even remotely like the timeline before she had left, then there was no way she could burden her mother with any of this.

“Yes, Momma. I’m just...very hungry.” It was a poor attempt at concealing the way her chest had tightened to a point where Jester had to focus on breathing, or she swore she would have stopped all together.

“Well, you’ve slept pretty long. You should go downstairs then, I’m sure they’ve saved you some bearclaws.” Marion’s lips curved into a smile and Jester did her best to match it.

“I will.” And with that she turned to make her way out of the room, the smile staying firmly in its place until Bluud was out of sight, too, and Jester could lean against the wall, closing her eyes for a moment.

“Arty, are you there?” She then whispered, but there was no reply, and it took her a moment to realize that, if he had changed the timeline, then Jester technically wasn’t even supposed to know that he wasn’t a God. As far as she was concerned, he was still The Traveler, unless he was as unaffected by his own powers than she seemed to be. Would he be able to undo this if she found him? Was there even a way to undo this, and was it a way that also saved Caleb from dying? The moment she thought about him again, Jester saw herself sinking to her knees, her shaking hands pulling at the rubble on the floor, like she’d be able to find something, anything, that was left of him.

“Stop it...” She reminded herself with a shake of her head, there was no use in standing here and crying, wishing for things to be different. She had spent the better part of her life waiting for a miracle, or a reason to get out and do something, and this time she wasn’t going to spent ten years sitting around.

“Yasha.” Jester then muttered, “i need to find Yasha.” Pushing herself off the wall, Jester eventually wiped the corners of her eyes with her sleeves and then made her way down the stairs.

The Chateau was fairly empty at this time of the day, only a few people were sat on the tables in the far corner, but they were either already too deep into their drinks to notice her, or they simply didn’t even bother looking up. People had always come to the Chateau to drink and see the Ruby of the Sea, and Jester had come to terms with that. The people whose attention she wanted weren’t random people coming to this place, they were her friends, or the people who used to be her friends anyway.

Looking around, she eventually caught sight of Carlos by the bar, and he was talking to a tall woman with long, black hair with white tips, and Jester was instantly taken back to the day they had met each other. Yasha, tall, strong and intimidating, everything Jester had secretly wanted to be, too, and Jester, carefree and looking for adventure.

Not that she hadn’t enjoyed being bubbly and throwing people off, but there was just a presence to Yasha that was admirable and having spent so much time with the other woman, or with her Yasha at the very least, Jester knew that you could be both soft and badass at the same time.

“Yasha? I need to talk to you!” There was no reason to beat around the bush, because if Jester could convince anyone that this was the wrong timeline and they needed to fix things, then it was probably Yasha.

“Do I...know you?” The confused expression on her face came as less of a shock as her mother’s had, and Jester tried to not let herself be thrown off by it.

“Yes. No. Yes. It’s complicated. Carlos, can you give us a minute?” The man looked like he was about to protest, but luckily for Jester her blunt approach seemed to be working, and he nodded.

“We’re almost done anyway. You know what you have to do. Report back to me at the end of the day, and if you need anything you know where to find me.” He then gave Jester another nod and turned to make his way back behind the bar, while Yasha focused on Jester, taking her in and seemingly trying to place where she knew her from, if at all.

It was strange, seeing Yasha like this again, with her hair black and shadows on her face, her old sword dangling on her side. Jester ignored the way her stomach turned ever so slightly, thinking about Beau probably somewhere in Zadash, getting into arguments with Dairon and rebelling against authority at every given chance.

“So...do I know you?” Yasha asked again, and Jester quickly snapped out of it.

“Like I said, yes. No. Yes. It’s complicated. You just have to listen, okay? I’m not supposed to be here, and you’re not supposed to be here either. I know this is going to sound crazy, but we’re actually friends, in another life,” she frowned, “another timeline? I don’t know how to explain it, Caleb knows more about this stuff than I do...” Jester trailed off for a brief moment, fighting the tears that were welling up in her eyes at the simple mention of his name, “and...I don’t know how it happened exactly, but...we need to fix it, because this isn’t how I wanted things to go.”

There was another pause as Yasha took her in from head to toe, her own head cocked to the side. “You’ve lost someone.” She then pointed out, and Jester bit her lip. “I can see that...it...changes the way people hold themselves, and...there’s a light in their eyes that just...goes out. Like it’s supposed to still be there, but it’s not.”

“Like with you and Zuala.” Jester nodded in return, and that seemed to fully get Yasha’s attention. She stood up a little straighter, her hand automatically going for her sword, even though Jester was no threat to her.

“How...do you know about Zuala?” She then asked, and Jester could see the pain in the other woman’s eyes now, and it hit her like a ton of bricks. In this timeline, however she had gotten here, Yasha hadn’t made peace with the other woman’s death. In fact, she might have never even met Molly or the people at the circus. Maybe Molly wasn’t even Molly, maybe he had gone back to being Lucien, but that was an entirely different problem that Jester would have to deal with later.

“We’re friends. We met...or we were supposed to meet at a Tavern and then go see a circus show. Everything went to shit and we had to fight this giant toad creature and then decided to travel together. We all became friends, you, me, Fjord, Molly, Veth, Caleb and Caduceus, and Beau.” And you fell in love again. Jester added in her head, knowing better than to actually say those words out loud. She was aware that she was on thin ice already, trying to get Yasha to believe her without the other woman thinking that she was completely insane, she didn’t need to add the complicated layer of her newfound relationship, which was now pretty much nonexistent as well, to the whole thing.

“It’s...a long story, a good one, and I might tell you more about it if you want to, but...we need to find someone who can fix this, because this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. We need to find Caleb, or Essek...oh God it’s going to be so hard to convince Essek that he likes us and that he doesn’t have to be evil...” She muttered to herself, watching as Yasha raised an eyebrow.

“It’s a long story, like I said. We used to have a house in Xhorhas. With a rooftop garden, and a whirlpool.” It was of no use to this conversation, but Jester found herself being flooded with random memories that made her chest ache, because they only existed inside her own head now, and saying them out loud made her feel a little less crazy. “Look...I know this sounds insane, but please, you need to come with me? I don’t think I can do this alone.”

“Sure.” Yasha’s agreement came as a surprise, and for a moment Jester just looked at her, wondering if she had misheard what the other woman had said.

“What?” She then found herself asking, and Yasha simply shrugged her shoulders.

“I said sure,” the other woman repeated, letting her eyes travel across the room. “This whole place...it’s a little too fancy for me. I only took the job because it was the first one that was offered to me.”

Jester, against her better judgement, quickly found herself launching forward, her arms wrapping around the other woman in a hug, and even though Yasha stayed perfectly still, she didn’t pull away, which Jester considered a win.  

“So...uh...where are we going then?” Yasha eventually asked, pulling away ever so slightly to look at the other woman.

“I don’t really know...” Jester sighed, biting her lip as she quicky went through all of the available options in her head. “We could ask Yussa for help...but that might be hard if he doesn’t remember who we are, which would also mean he doesn’t know that we saved his life, twice. I could try and contact Allura, but this might also be hard to explain to her...” she paused for a second, before shaking her head. “Maybe we should just find the others. I remember meeting Fjord halfway up to Port Damali...but if you’re here and not with the circus in Trostenwald, then he might also not be where I met him. He might still be on his ship with Vandran and Sabian...”

“You mean...Fjord Stone?” Yasha interjected, one eyebrow raised.

“You know him?” There was sudden excitement in her voice as she nodded. “Do you know where we can find him?” Fjord had always been good at coming up with strategic plans, and maybe that was something that they could make good use of now, or so Jester thought at least.

“I’ve...heard stories.” Yasha then replied, nodding her head ever so slightly. “But if they’re true...then I don’t think he’s going to help us.” A pause. “And you’re sure we were friends with him?”

Jester found herself nodding in response. “Yes. Long story short, I kind of had a crush on him...well, in that other timeline of course, but I was just projecting the stories my mother read to me onto him and...” She trailed off, noticing the frown on Yasha’s face. “...why? Where is he?”

“Well, as far as I know, from the stories I’ve heard in the dive bars down at the docks,” Yasha then continued, “he’s either where most pirates are, on Darktow, or sailing the seas with the Squalleater as a second in command to the infamous Captain Avantika.”

Chapter Text

“He’s what now?” Jester couldn’t help but ask, because while she had expected Fjord to still be sailing in this timeline, she hadn’t thought that he’d be a full-on pirate, but then again she also hadn’t expected any of this to happen in the first place, so who was she to complain?

“...a pirate? As far as I’ve heard. But like I said: those are just stories that I’ve heard down at the docks. I’m not actually from around here, as...you know.” It wasn’t too far off, Jester thought, Fjord still being at sea, and if Avantika had found him, and none of them had been around to push him into the right direction, then it made sense that he’d be sailing with her.

“Oh boy...” She muttered to herself, what if they were still trying to release Ukotoa? That was another problem stacked on top of the ones she was already dealing with, and another one she really didn’t need.

“Everything okay?” Yasha asked, and when Jester looked up to meet her eyes, she was suddenly very grateful to have stumbled across her first. She was probably the only one who would have so easily agreed to go on an adventure, well, apart from Molly maybe, but she wasn’t even sure if Molly was alive in this world.

“Yeah. Everything’s great. We should probably get going if we want to make it out of the city by nightfall. If you still want to go.” Jester wasn’t sure why, but part of her still worried that Yasha was going to change her mind, and that she’d have to go off on her own. She had done it before, of course, with a lot less experience, but part of that had also included not actually knowing about all the dangers out there and therefore being less worried.

She had met Fjord pretty early on, too, but that was now out of the question, for obvious reasons.

“Yeah sure. I mean...let’s go.” Yasha shrugged her shoulders, “anything you need?”

“I should probably tell my Momma...” Jester briefly considered pulling the same stunt that had gotten her kicked out of Nicodranas before, but that would require some planning and time she didn’t want to waste. “We probably need some horses...or a cart. Can you get one if I give you money? I’ll pack some supplies and then we can leave in...let’s say an hour?”

Once Yasha had agreed, Jester returned back to her room to pack a few things. There was no bag of holding, and no haversack, just her usual backpack, and so she stuck to packing only the essentials, including her sketch book.

Pausing for a moment, Jester ran her hands over the leather bound book, feeling her chest tighten as she eventually opened it to find only blank pages.

Of course. She couldn’t believe that all of her drawings were gone. Molly and his tapestry, the circus tent, the beautiful flowers Yasha had collected, Fjord with his captain’s hat, two marshmallows snuggling in a cup of hot chocolate and Caleb with his hair standing up in different directions from the static in the air.

Caleb. Biting her lip, Jester closed the book and let it slip into her bag, still seeing all these memories clear as day in her head. She couldn’t believe that none of them had happened here, that Caleb, if he was even Caleb, wouldn’t remember that night she had pulled him onto the dance floor in that tavern in Hupperdook, or that he had read her a story from his childhood, translating it for her so she could share it with him. These things were all real in her head, but there was no one to share them with.

“Ijust have to find Caleb...” She then muttered, shaking her head, “He’ll know how to fix this.”

-

It turned out to be a pretty tearful goodbye with her mother, who had no intention of holding her back, but who was worried about her nevertheless, and anything Jester could have told her to ease her mind wouldn’t make any sense, so she just promised to be careful and message Marion every few days to let her know how she was doing.

“I always knew that you were going to leave and see the world, my little Sapphire.” She smiled, reaching out to cup Jester’s face in her hands. “I just...didn’t think it was going to be this soon, but then again...I would have probably never been ready for it anyway.”

Jester could feel the knot in her stomach tightening a little as she leaned into the touch, her lips curved into a soft smile. “I’ll be careful, Momma. There’s just...so much out there.”
You don’t even know the half of it. “I hope you don’t mind me taking Yasha? I know Carlos just hired her...”

“Oh don’t worry about it.” glancing over her daughter’s shoulder, Marion locked eyes with the other woman, who was leaning against the exit door, watching them carefully. “ I have Bluud, and I doubt there’s a shortage of people looking for work. I’m happy as long as she’s there to protect you,”

Jester thought back to all the times they had protected each other, or those times when they hadn’t been able to, like that night they had gotten abducted by Lorenzo and his crew, or when Yasha had been taken by Obann. They had been through so much, and yet she was the only one to remember all of it.

“I’ll be fine, Momma.” She eventually nodded, resisting the urge to tell her mother everything, to let her know how much she was hurting inside, and how it was terrifying, not knowing how to fix all of this, but there was no way her mother would understand, and so Jester wasn’t going to burden her with it.

Instead, she leaned forward, her arms wrapping around the other woman and holding her tight for a few seconds, before pulling away, wiping at her eyes. “I’ll message you soon, I promise.”

“Be careful, my little Sapphire.” Marion smiled, letting go off her daughter eventually, watching as she turned to follow Yasha outside to the cart she had purchased, and she still found herself staring for a long time, even though the door had fallen shut.

-

Jester had settled into the back of the cart, which was filled with everything they had packed and purchased, including food and a tent, in case it would rain. She had pulled out her sketchbook, but her pen had been hovering over the page for the past hour, because she wasn’t sure what to even draw.

She had tried the landscape, knowing that it would get increasingly more boring the moment they entered the Empire, but inspiration simply wouldn’t come. Instead, her thoughts always came back to Caleb, to the early days when they had still traveled by cart and he had sat in the back just like she did now, and Jester had painted a smiley face on his lucky rock.

He had swatted her hand away and she had laughed. That very same laugh echoed in her head now and Jester sighed, putting down the pen and closing the sketch book. The sun was slowly sinking over the horizon, coloring the sky in a deep orange by the time they had made it not even halfway to the Wuyun Gates. At this rate it was going to take them weeks to get to Rexxentrum, but maybe that was at the very least going to give Jester some time to figure out what she was planning on doing about all of this, so she eventually climbed to the front, settling in next to Yasha.

“How far do you want to travel today?” The other woman asked, glancing over as they slowly progressed further on. “We could probably travel through the night if we wanted to,”

Part of Jester considered the option, because it was a long way to Rexxentrum, but it was probably also smart to camp close to the Gates, just in case there were any bandits that were considering attacking them.

Not that she thought Yasha and her couldn’t take them, but she still wasn’t quite sure how much of her powers she had at her disposal, considering with how things had gone, and Artagan seemingly not being around at all. Jester just didn’t want to get into unnecessary fights.

“No. We should probably camp soon and then get up early, maybe we’ll make it to the Gates tomorrow before the day is over.” She briefly thought of the Giantkin they had fought on the other side of the Gates then, which were probably too much for Yasha and her to take on alone, but if they were lucky, they’d simply not run into them.

Like we’ve been lucky lately... Jester thought to herself as she leaned back in her seat, watching as the sun slowly disappeared behind the mountains.

-

They traveled about an hour after sundown, eventually making camp a little further off the road. Yasha had made a fire and they sat in silence, eating their ration for the day. There were so many things Jester wanted to say, but she had no idea where to even start, so instead, she offered to take the first watch.

“You’ve been driving the whole time. I’ll wake you later.” The truth was that she simply didn’t think she’d be able to fall asleep any time soon. Her thoughts kept drifting back to Caleb, the sound of his voice in her head, telling her that he loved her.

She should have known. She should have seen it, should have told him how she felt, but every time she had come close, Jester had chickened out, because she had no experience with being in love, and when she had been crushing on Fjord, people had only ever made fun of her, including Fjord himself.

She was now aware that he didn’t deal with affection very well, and she wasn’t holding a grudge, but she remembered very well telling herself to not think about love and crushes from then on, to only focus on seeing the world, and saving it.

And then there had been Caleb, quietly supporting her and making her feel like she was important, without hope or agenda, and Jester wished that he would have just kissed her.

She had thought about it too, right after they had spent the night together in the tower, reading, but the moment the thought had crossed her mind, she had scolded herself and walked away.

And now she was paying the price for it.

Wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand, Jester stared into the flames for a moment and wished, not for the first time today, that Caleb was with her. He’d know just what to say. Even in the worst of situations, when she hadn’t known what to do, he had found a way of cheering her up, even if it had been through something as silly as suggesting making her some new toes when she had lost a few of them in the lava on the plane of fire.

It made her think of Veth, too. Veth, who was probably still going by Nott and hadn’t been reunited with her son and husband. If that was the case, however, then maybe they didn’t have to go to Rexxentrum at all, maybe they would have to wait for Nott and Caleb in Trostenwald.

But then why was Yasha in Nicodranas and not with the circus?

Nothing seemed to make sense, and the moment Jester had formed some sort of idea of a plan in her head, it was all turned upside down once more, leaving her as confused as before.

“This sucks...” She hadn’t even noticed that she had zoned out until a voice that wasn’t her own broke the silence, causing her to look up, but finding no one in sight.

“Oh thank God,” the voice was followed by a slight chuckle, “I’ve been looking for you all over the place!”

Chapter Text

When Artagan’s familiar face came into view, Jester almost burst into tears. He wasn’t hiding beneath a green cloak, though he was still wearing it, but he was clearly visible to her, which meant that he knew what was going on. He wasn’t pretending to be the Traveler, in fact he had been looking for her, and before he could even say anything else, Jester had stumbled forward, wrapping her arms around him.

“Arty, this is terrible.” She muttered, trying to hold back the tears as she buried her face against his chest. “What...what did we do? And how do we fix it?” He’d always been there to help her, and if she hadn’t known what to do, he’d found a way, at least until she had found herself out in the great, big world. With the Mighty Nein around, however, there had always been someone to come up with a plan, some of them more successful than others, but at the very least there had been someone to comfort her, and if he she thought back on it now, then it had usually been Caleb. Caleb who, even when he didn’t have a solution, had simply sat with her and made her feel better about what was ahead.

Caleb wasn’t around though, or at the very least her Caleb wasn’t. Depending on how this all worked he was either on the run or...Jester didn’t even want to think about the other option, so she forced herself to pull back a little, wiping at her eyes before looking back at Artagan.

“Well. I think we took a gamble, and it didn’t quite pay off the way we hoped it would. Everyone’s alive, I assume, but...”

“But nobody knows who I am. Or who you are. I don’t even know where half of my friends are. Can’t you go and find them for me?” She still felt like this was all just a little too much for her to handle, but Artagan’s presence made the whole thing more bearable. She’d always been able to count on him, and now that he had found her, they’d surely be able to come up with a plan to fix this whole thing.

“I am...afraid that I am a little limited in my powers at the moment, darling.” He shrugged his shoulders, watching as Jester’s face fell. “Now, now. Don’t worry, we will find a way to fix this, but...what I did, what we did...it wiped me out. In fact, I had to walk most of the way here to find you, which is why it took me so long. Dreadful, if I’m being honest, I don’t know how people travel like that all the time. Oh, Jester, no...please don’t cry.”

She could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks, her vision blurring slightly as she looked up to find the expression on Artagan’s face to be a mix of worry and helplessness. He’d always found a way to cheer her up when she had been a child, but this? This was an entirely different situation, and the bar was much higher than it had been before.

“Jester? Are you okay?” Yasha’s voice broke the silence that had fallen over them, and when Jester looked over her shoulder, she found the other woman standing by the fire, her sword out, seemingly ready to defend herself if she had to.

“Oh, yes. All good. Well.” She sighed, reaching up to wipe at her eyes once more. “There’s no like, immediate danger, is what I mean. Yasha, this is Arty. He’s...my best friend. He’s the one who gives me my powers. You actually know him well. I mean...” Jester trailed off for a moment, shaking her head. “... my Yasha does. You bathed him once!”

There was a brief moment where Yasha made a face but lowered her sword. “I...bathed him?” She then asked, and Jester couldn’t help but smile just a little.

“Well. Not him as like...a person. Basically, we bought some animals from this traveling salesman, Nugget, Professor Thaddeus and Sprinkle. And Arty here used Sprinkle, my weasel, to sort of...watch out for me and you were kind enough to offer him a bath.” Jester stopped herself once more, shaking her head. “My Yasha was, anyway. But you can meet him again! Arty, this is...the Yasha from this world. She’s great, she offered to travel with me, even though I probably sounded like a crazy person to her. Yasha, this is Arty, my best friend.”

The sword in her hand was still lowered, but Yasha didn’t seem to quite trust the whole situation, and Jester couldn’t even fully blame her. So instead of approaching, the other woman simply lifted her hand, waving a little awkwardly. “And he’s going to help us fix...whatever this is?” She eventually asked, and Jester nodded, wiping the remainder of the tears from her cheeks.

“Yeah! Absolutely, right Arty?” Nodding in response, Artagan offered a smile, visibly more comfortable now that Jester wasn’t crying anymore.

“Of course, for now however,” he gestured towards the fire, “how about I take watch while you two sleep? The earlier we can leave tomorrow the quicker we’ll arrive in the next town. I am absolutely not looking forward to sleeping on the ground for days on end,”

“What’s wrong with sleeping on the floor?” Yasha whispered as they both settled down next to the fire, and Jester couldn’t help but smile.

-

“You, Caleb, if you survive and I don’t,” The words were out before Jester could stop them, and even though she’d meant them as more of a joke, the reality of them began sinking in slowly, “You have to draw a dick in every single temple.”

“Temples specifically?” Caleb returned, one eyebrow raised, but Jester could see the way his shoulder slumped ever so slightly, like there was no way he was going to make it out alive If she didn’t, but she brushed it off, because this was Caleb, he was always a little more dramatic than the rest of them. Well, Molly excluded anyway. “Well. I promise I will.”

Jester smiled at him then, almost embarrassed that she felt giddy at the thought of Caleb sneaking into temples to deface them with dicks. They were walking into what was probably their certain death, and yet he had found a way to make her smile, like he always did.

The thought of not coming home again, of not being able to see her mother anymore, made her chest tighten ever so slightly, but what they were doing was for the greater good, and at the very least Jester knew that her mother was safe, even if she was never to return.

And she had to admit that there were no other people she’d rather be doing this with than the Mighty Nein, people who had stuck by her side through everything and who had shown her a whole new world out here.

“Caleb,” She smiled again, reaching out to touch his hand, but instead of feeling the familiar warmth, her hand went right through him, and all Jester managed to grab was a handful of dirt. “Caleb?”

-

When she shot up from the dream, Jester could feel her heart beating hard against her ribcage and her breath going faster than it should have been. The fire beside her had been reduced to ashes, and when she looked around, she noticed that it was still mostly dark. The sky had taken on a faint orange glow in the distance, but it wasn’t by far enough to actually see, not for most people anyway, but luckily Jester’s vision wasn’t impaired by darkness.

“Everything okay?” Yasha’s voice was soft and yet Jester almost jumped, glancing over to find the other woman rolling up her blanket and dropping it into the cart.

“Yeah...I just...I had a bad dream.” Jester muttered as she looked around once more, finding Artagan leaning against the cart, seemingly waiting.

“No major occurrences throughout the night,” he reported, “But...we should probably get going.”

“It’s still a while to the Gates and we probably won’t reach them until nightfall, but we can make some way.” Yasha continued and Jester nodded, picking up her own blanket and bag before climbing into the back of the cart along with Artagan, who eventually made himself invisible when they reached the Wuyun Gates by sundown. They weren’t stopped beyond a quick glance into the back of their cart, but the guards were definitely giving looks to Yasha, whose expression seemed to be made of stone as they passed through, and Jester watched her visibly relax as soon as they were out of people’s sights.

They had agreed to drive for a few more hours, wanting to make some headway on their way to Trostenwald. Artagan had taken over the reins and Jester briefly wondered just how much of his magic was left if he wasn’t even able to travel like he used to. Her thoughts were interrupted by Yasha, however, who shifted beside her.

“So...you said we met at a circus?” Glancing up, Jester felt the corners of her lips twitch upwards ever so slightly at the memory.

“Yeah...I mean, kind of. We were all in this tavern and Molly and you invited us to come see the show, Caleb and Veth were there, too. They were trying not to be seen by us, but they didn’t stand a chance,” the memory of leaning over the table and holding her hand out to Caleb flashed in front of her eyes and Jester tried her best to ignore the way her stomach turned.

“Hold on, I’ll draw them for you.” She pulled out her sketch book then, managing a quick sketch of Molly before holding it up. “He was great! Really funny, and he knew how to read fortunes,”

“He...was?” Yasha asked, and Jester bit her lip as she glanced down at Molly’s smiling face.

“He...he died, trying to rescue us. It’s...a long story.” And once again Jester had no idea where to actually start, so instead she picked up her pen again and began sketching Fjord, Veth, Beau and lastly, Caleb, whose portrait was the most detailed, almost like she was afraid that she was going to forget what he looked like if she didn’t get the sketch done perfectly.

“So...who’s this then?” Yasha reached out almost subconsciously, running her fingers over Beau’s face on the page, and Jester couldn’t help but smile again.

“That’s Beau. She’s amazing. She’s like...an Expositor with the Cobalt Soul. She can catch arrows and things with her hands if people shoot them at her.” And you’re in love with her, She added as an afterthought, knowing better than to actually say those words out loud. She still remembered Yasha’s face when she had told her that she knew about Zuala, but at least that was something that had actually happened and something the other woman remembered.

“That does sound very cool.” Yasha then admitted with a smile, “And...this is...Caleb?” Having moved her hand to point at the more detailed sketch, Jester felt her chest tighten again, but before she could even reply, the cart suddenly stopped and she found herself looking over her shoulder, watching as her best friend nodded towards the trees.

“I believe that we have some company.” He then told them, and with a flick of his fingers he’d gone invisible once more.

“What do you mean we have...” Jester began, barely managing to duck out of the way when she noticed some arrows coming towards them, promptly answering her only half asked question. “Watch out, Yasha!” She then called, ducking even lower but trying to peer over the edge of the cart to see who was firing at them.

“Little late,” Yasha replied and when Jester turned to look at the other woman, she could see one of the arrows sticking out of her shoulder. Before she could do anything about that, however, Yasha had already pulled it out and thrown it to the floor, before jumping off the cart and charging off into the forest.

“I feel like we should have seen that coming,” Artagan pointed out from somewhere to her left, and Jester groaned as she jumped over the edge of the cart herself, before running after Yasha into the darkness.

Chapter Text

Jester’s eyes were quickly adjusting to the darkness, which was a good thing, considering she barely managed to dodge another arrow that came flying towards her. Ducking out of the way, she very nearly stumbled and fell, but instead felt the brief touch of hands around her waist, holding her up.

“Thanks Arty!” She called, before charging further ahead and into the trees. It took her a few moments to spot Yasha, who had pulled out her sword and was facing off against three people, all dressed in simple, dark traveler clothes and with scarves covering their faces. Despite most of their face being covered, they all looked a little intimidated by Yasha’s presence, let alone the sword she was holding, which seemed huge compared to their short swords, which they had raised in an attempt to defend themselves.

Glancing over into the direction the arrows had been coming from, and after a few seconds of searching, Jester finally spotted the culprit firing them between the trees. “I am having a déjà vu,” Artagan muttered in her ear, but before Jester could ask why, she noticed it, too.

“Seriously? Trevor?!” She called, and the man, who had been loading his crossbow, stopped midway, glancing up to meet her eyes. “Yasha, I got this!”

Jester was briefly transported back to the first time they had met these bandits. When they had assumed that the Mighty Nein were an easy target, and how it had ended with Jester’s Spiritual Weapon tossing Trevor up in the air, where he was then burned to ash by Caleb.

Jester ignored the pain in her chest at the thought of Caleb, and instead focused all her energy on the spell she was casting.

With her hand outstretched, she zeroed in on Trevor and for a moment the world around them seemed to slow down. When she eventually finished mumbling the words, she watched as his eyes briefly glazed over, and only a few seconds later, he let the crossbow sink, his whole posture seemingly relaxing.

“Jester?” Yasha, who was still holding her sword out, had one eyebrow raised as she watched the other woman, who just nodded.

“All good. I think I actually got a good plan on how we can save some time on our way to the next city!” She then replied, turning back towards Trevor. “So, we’re friends, right?” He seemed to agree with her words, especially since instead of being in fighting mode, Jester was bouncing a little on her toes, giving Trevor the biggest smile, who eventually began to match it. “Cool! So, you probably won’t mind sitting in the front of our cart and driving us to the next city, right?”

It was a long shot, but she had enough spells to get them through the night, and the faster they made their way up to Rexxentrum, the faster she’d be able to find Caleb and fix this whole thing.

“I can do that, yes.” Trevor agreed, and without another word, set back out towards the camp side Yasha and Jester had made for themselves earlier that night.

“Now, the rest of you.” Jester pointed at the three men that had not yet moved from where Yasha was standing, but had lowered their weapons slowly. “You guys are going to wait here. Or, you know what? Maybe just use this as an opportunity to get some real jobs that don’t involve stealing from poor people just trying to get by. And don’t even think about following us. I am from an alternative timeline where we evaporated Trevor when he tried to fight us, and I won’t hesitate doing that to you if you don’t leave us alone!”

Yasha, who seemed to only be mildly confused by the whole situation, pointed her sword at the men once more, who instinctively took a few steps back. “Understood?” She then asked, and they simply nodded, having apparently realized that this wasn’t a fight they could win, or wanted to risk losing anyway.

The walk back to the cart was short, and when Yasha and Jester eventually packed up their things and climbed into the back of it, Trevor was already waiting. “And...this is going to work?” Yasha eventually whispered as she settled down onto her bedroll, glancing over at Jester.

“I mean...I think so? I have to recast the spell every hour, so if I fall asleep you have to wake me. If it doesn’t work, we might have to kill him though.” It wasn’t a perfect solution, but one that was going to save them some time, and considering they had no faster method of travel, Jester was going to take every chance she got to cut their travel time short.

“Is it true, though?” Yasha then continued, one arm propped up under her head and using the other one to hold on to her sword. “That you turned that guy to ash in...your time?”

“Oh, yeah. At first, we tried to convince them that we all have syphilis,” Jester chuckled at the memory, “but that didn’t work, so we had to fight them. You weren’t with us though. Like...for a while at the beginning, you kind of just...came and went. I never really knew where you disappeared to, but you always came back to us.” Her lips curved into a soft smile as she pulled the blanket a little tighter around herself, and suddenly the pain in her chest returned at full force.

Jester wished, more than anything, that Caleb could be there with them. He’d be able to make a small fire to warm them up, and if she asked nicely, he’d probably even cast the Dancing Lights to fight off the darkness. Instead, it felt like the darkness was suffocating her slowly, and Jester blinked, fighting against the tears that were threatening to fall.

“You are very brave, you know?” Yasha’s voice pulled her from her thoughts, “waking up in a world that’s completely different from what you know. Putting yourself out there and trying to find the people you care about.” There was a brief pause when Jester glanced up to meet the other’s eyes, suddenly realizing what Yasha was talking about.

“Oh Yasha.”  A sigh fell from her lips, and even though this wasn’t really her Yasha, Jester still reached out to take her hand. “You are brave, too. I know you think that you’re not, because you...because you left, but you are. You kept going at your worst, and Zuala would have understood that. She would be proud of you.” She could feel the other woman’s hand twitching in hers, and Jester honestly wouldn’t have blamed her if she had pulled away, but instead Yasha stayed where she was, shaking her head slowly.

“I’m...really not that brave, Jester.” She then whispered, but Jester simply squeezed her hand a little tighter.

“Yes, you are. And maybe you won’t believe me tonight, or tomorrow, or even in a month, but...I’ve seen you grow so much, Yasha, and you’ll get that happiness you deserve.”

Everyone in their little group deserved happiness, Jester had never doubted that, but she was also aware that they didn’t exist the way she had come to know them.

Maybe Fjord was happy, sailing with Avantika, and maybe Veth’s town had never been attacked by goblins and she was living happily ever after with Jester.

Maybe Caleb wasn’t Caleb.

She could feel her chest tightening at that thought, one she had been trying to ignore for a while now. If Caleb wasn’t Caleb, the chances of her wanting to help her get things back to normal were slim, which meant that the only chance Jester had would be Essek.

Essek who was all the way up in Xhorhas and had no idea who she was, and without the beacon there was also no chance of getting close to him as easily as they had the last time.

Jester could feel tears beginning to sting in her eyes again and so she simply shut them, refusing to let the pain win. It already felt like she couldn’t breathe, and she had spent enough time crying to know that it would only make the whole thing worse.

-

“That was a happy story, Caleb.” Jester could feel her lips curving into a smile as she glanced at the other, who had just finished reading the story and closed the book, matching her smile as their eyes met.

“Mhm. That’s why my mother read it to me.” He then nodded and Jester could feel her heart skipping a beat. Everything was warm and comfortable, and it was almost easy to forget what they had set out to do, and that the cold weather was waiting for them outside of this cozy tower.

“Can I have the book back?” It was easier to keep still when she had something in her hands, something she could hold and press against her chest, as if it would be able to contain the way her heart was beating just a little faster.

“Oh yeah. It is your copy.  It will vanish when you leave here, but it is yours.” She could feel the warmth spreading from her chest through her entire body, and for a brief moment, Jester considered staying. She even considered leaning in to kiss him, and even though that thought wasn’t new, it still surprised her. Mainly because the urge had gotten so strong that it was easy to imagine how it would feel to press her lips against his and to feel his hand tangling in her hair.

“Goodnight, Caleb.” She heard herself say then.

“Goodnight, Jester.” And for just a second, glancing over her shoulder, Jester caught the change in his eyes. The way his lips curved into a soft smile, and she wished, against all hope, that she could freeze the moment in time, and do it all over again.

“Gute Nacht.”

-

When Jester came back to herself, the sun was slowly beginning to rise over the trees, indicating that she had slept way longer than intended to. Glancing around, she noticed that Yasha wasn’t next to her where she had been when Jester had fallen asleep, and she could instantly feel the worry hitting her like a wave.

Sitting up she eventually blinked the rest of the sleep away, before looking around and finding the other woman in the front of the cart, her sword held up to Trevor, who seemed to begrudgingly hold onto the reins of the horses.

“What...what happened?” Jester muttered, trying to calm down her racing heart.

“I figured you could use some sleep.” Yasha offered her a somewhat smile as she glanced back at the other over her shoulder. “And it was easy to keep this one in check once I had taken all of his weapons off him.”

“You should have woken me up! Did you get any sleep at all?” She instantly felt bad for falling asleep, the remnants of the dream still clinging to her as if they were trying to pull her back.

“I’ve gone much longer without sleep, don’t worry about me.” Yasha replied, nodding to where the shapes of a town came into view in the distance, a town that could only be Trostenwald.

“Are you ever going to let me go?” Trevor asked then, but Jester ignored him in favor of sitting up a little straighter, trying to catch a glimpse of the buildings that were shaping themselves into a town in the distance. What she noticed first, however, were the animals that were peacefully standing around not too far from them now. There were horses enjoying a nice batch of grass for breakfast, along with a few exotic birds and animals Jester had only read about in books.

“You guys aren’t gonna make me go to the circus, right? That’s so boring,” Trevor spoke up again, finally catching Jester’s attention with his words.

“The circus? Have you been before?” She asked, shuffling closer to him so quickly that he very nearly fell off the cart trying to get away from her.

“No. But they were advertising it everywhere.” He then shrugged, and Jester watched as he reached into the inside of his jacket, pulling out what seemed to be a flyer of some sort.

Feeling her fingers shake ever so slightly, she snatched it from his hands to read what was written on the front.

The Fletching and Moondrop Traveling Carnival of Curiosities, it read in big letters, and then, right underneath it: Starring Mollymauk Tealeaf and his Dancing Swords!

Chapter Text

“This is where we met, Yasha!” the words were out before she could stop them, hand stretched out and fingers pointing at the sign that hung above the tavern.

The Nestled Nook Inn.

Pushing the door open, she half expected to see her friends sitting at a table, making introductions and Molly reading fortunes, but instead the tavern was mostly empty, safe from two people at the bar and one guy slumped over in the corner, with his head on the table.

I'm just letting you know. I would hate if I smelled that bad and someone didn't tell me.

I’ve only just met you.

Hi, I’m Jester.

She could feel her chest tightening at the sudden flash of a memory, and it took her a moment to realize that Yasha was talking to her, her voice coming through the haze in Jester’s mind.

“...you okay?” She could feel the other woman’s had on her shoulder and simply nodded, ignoring the way her eyes were beginning to sting with tears. She had always been quite good at hiding her real emotions behind a mask, but ever since meeting the Mighty Nein that had changed. They had taught her that there was no need to pretend that you were okay when you weren’t, at least not when you were surrounded by friends.

Technically she wasn’t surrounded by friends, though.

Biting her lip, Jester tried her best to put on a smile before turning around to face Yasha again. “Yes. We probably shouldn’t waste any time and find Molly at the circus, right?” The truth was: Jester had no idea what she was doing. She didn’t know if Molly was going to help them, because as much as she had wanted to believe that he was a God and all knowing, she had learned that he wasn’t. He was just someone putting on a show, trying to get by, not unlike herself, really.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Having left their cart at the tavern and having sent Trevor back with one of their rations, telling him that he’d be evaporated if he ever tried to bother them again, they eventually made their way back to the outskirts of town. They even passed Rinaldo’s house, which was still standing with its roof intact.

Jester didn’t stop, but she thought back to that day they had arrived in Trostenwald for the first time, instantly being roped into fighting a giant snake and saving Rinaldo’s daughter, right before meeting Caleb and Veth, then Nott still, at the tavern.

It all seemed like such a long time ago, even though it technically hadn’t even happened in this timeline, and it all made her head hurt just a little bit.

The circus tent rose high, distinguishing itself prominently from the otherwise rather flat landscape. It looked the same as Jester remembered it, though it somehow felt like the usually bright colors were a little duller than before. She couldn’t quite tell why, but she didn’t have the time to think about it too much, because an eerily familiar voice echoed in her ears then.

“Welcome, travelers! The Fletching and Moondrop Traveling Carnival of Curiosities is delighted to have you, but I am afraid the show doesn’t start until tonight. If you’d like to be entertained in the meantime though, I can offer to read your fortune. It’s guaranteed to give you a glance into your hopefully bright future,”

There, in a makeshift hammock between two large crates, Molly had sat up, looking just like Jester remembered him with his brightly colored coat, jewelry hanging off his horns and that all too familiar smile on his lips.

“I promise you it’ll be a good time! And you look like you’re in desperate need for one,” He offered, and Jester could only stare as she slowly felt her vision go blurry. “Oh dear, is it that bad? Come here Darling,” And before she could even begin to think about forming words, there were arms wrapping around her and Jester finally let go to the last of her composure, instead burying her face against Molly’s chest as she began to sob.

-

“Caleb?” There was a pause where Jester fiddled with her fingers in her lap, before finally finding the courage to look up at him. They had spent the evening in his room, with Caleb reading her another story while Jester listened in awe, holding her cup of hot coco with both hands.

“Ja, Jester?” having closed the book, she watched as Caleb placed it on the small table next to the couch before turning his attention back to her.

“Do you...do you think that we’re going to get him back?” Of course they both knew exactly who she was talking about and even though part of her didn’t want to ruin this perfect evening, she felt like Caleb was the only person she could talk to about these things. She didn’t have to pretend not to be sad, and even if she did, then he’d see right through her.

“I don’t know.” He eventually replied, leaning back into the pillows, but keeping his eyes firmly on Jester. “But then  I don’t know a lot of things.”

“But you’re so smart, Caleb.” There was the hint of a smile on his face and Jester felt her heart miss a beat as she caught his eye once more.

“Well, I try.” He then offered in response, “But...I don’t know anything about...this. The eyes of nine. I don’t know how it works, and whether it’s reversable.”

Jester couldn’t quite help but feel her own eyes being drawn to the marking on Caleb’s shoulder. They still didn’t know what exactly those eyes meant, and if they were going to be dangerous for their friends, and it was just another thing to worry about on top of everything else they had been dealing with.

“But...I know us.” Caleb eventually continued, his lips curving into a soft smile as he looked back at Jester. “And I know that we’re going to do everything in our power to get him back if he’s still in there.”

It was reassuring, even though it really shouldn’t have been, because there was no guarantee in Caleb’s promise. And yet Jester knew that he was going to honor that promise as best as he could. “Yeah.” She eventually agreed with a slight smile before getting up from the couch. They had already stayed up way later than they should have, especially considering they were going to track through the snow again at an ungodly hour tomorrow, and yet it was hard to tear herself away from him.

“Goodnight, Jester.” His voice was soft and warm, and Jester could feel her cheeks heating up ever so slightly, though she wasn’t quite sure why.

“Good night, Caleb.” She returned then, stepping through the door only to stop and turn around once more. “And Caleb?”

“Ja?”

“I wouldn’t trade him for you, you know? If I had to choose, it would always be you.”

-

“Well, this is exciting. I’ve never read a fortune for someone from another timeline.” Molly’s tent was like him in many ways, there were tapestries on the walls depicting strange creatures and lines, not unlike the tattoos that were covering his body, and different kinds of herbs hanging from the ceiling. Jester wasn’t quite sure if those were for making tea or provided a different kind of experience though.

After she had finally managed to collect herself, wiping her eyes and taking a deep breath, Molly had invited them to his tent, and even though she had told herself she’d hold back, the words had spilled from Jester’s mouth, not stopping until she had told the full story. Or well, she might have left out the whole part where Molly had died and become an evil, all knowing and all seeing being that was trying to kill them, but the rest had been pretty accurate.

Molly had sat them down onto big, comfortable cushions and pulled out his cards, and looking over, Jester caught Yasha with what could only be described as a fond look on her face. She knew that there was technically no way Yasha could actually remember the connection she had with Molly, but if Jester was able to alter an entire timeline, then maybe it was possible for a feeling and a connection to travel across time and through different worlds, too.

“Alright, let me see what I can do for you then.” Molly closed his eyes as he shuffled the cards in front of him, and Jester watched the familiar hand motions as she was instantly transported back to the day they met. She had known nothing about him then, only that he seemed like he was going to be fun to be around, and she hadn’t been wrong about that.

Pulling the first card from his deck he flipped it over eventually, and Jester very nearly jerked backwards and away from it.

“Ah. The eyes.” He nodded, running his fingers over the card for a moment. “You’ve seen a lot, despite your young age. Had many adventures, some good and some bad. That does sound pretty accurate, doesn’t it?” There was a smile on his face as he reached for the next card, and Jester was relieved that he hadn’t been looking at her, because she wasn’t ready to explain why eyes were such a sore spot to her.

Flipping the next card, it revealed what looked to be a long winding road that spanned the entire card, and Jester leaned in closer again to get a better look. “The path.” Molly then nodded, “You are clearly on a path, headed for a greater destiny. It’s a long and winding road, but you know your destination.”

“Am I going to get there?” Jester’s voice was quiet as she looked up to meet Molly’s eyes, whose smile had softened just a little as he cocked his head to the side. The truth was: Jester wasn’t even sure where she was going. Finding Caleb seemed like the obvious answer, but what if he wasn’t even Caleb? How was she supposed to convince him that they needed a way to fix this timeline? One that might have just been perfectly fine for him.

“Well, let’s see about that, shall we?” Molly pulled her back from her thoughts before she could spiral, taking another card from the deck and placing it on top of the other two.

Glancing down at it, Jester’s heart missed a beat. It was a familiar card, showing a man sitting on the ground with strange, amber colored lights orbiting around him.

“Caleb...” she muttered, feeling tears welling up in her eyes instantly.

“Mhm...I wondered why this one was so specific when it showed its face to me.” Molly nodded as he picked it up, twirling it between his fingers once more before holding it out towards Jester. “You’re on the right path, like I said, and you’re going to find what you’re looking for, but...fortune is a little tricky, so I can’t tell you whether or not you’re going to like what you’re going to find at the end of your path, but don’t worry.” He smiled, reaching out to lift her chin up with his fingers. “You have everything you need to succeed right here,” his other hand came up to press against her chest, right above her heart, “and it seems like you have great company, too.” Molly’s eyes flickered over towards Yasha, who’d been sitting a little ways away, and her lips almost involuntarily curved into a smile.

“Do you...do you really think so?” Jester whispered, biting her lip as she reached up to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I don’t...I don’t even know how we’re supposed to get to Rexxentrum. It’s weeks of travel away...”

“I might be able to help,” Artagan’s voice popped up and when Jester turned, he was right there, leaning against the side of the tent as if it was made out of solid material.

“Well to what do I owe this pleasure?” Molly grinned, their eyes meeting for a brief moment before Artagan blinked.

“You are very distracting. I’ll take care of that later,” Given any other situation, Jester would have made one of her jokes, but right now she had stumbled up from her sitting position towards Artagan, her eyes growing a little wider.

“Did your magic come back?” She then asked, but her best friend shook his head.

“Not in full capacity, no, but I can reach out to someone who might be able to help us...but either way we’re going to have to wait until tomorrow,”

“Well.” It was the first thing Yasha had said since they had arrived at the circus and Jester turned to look at the other woman, “might as well see a show since we’re already here, right?”

Chapter Text

The show was every bit as flashy and fantastic as Jester remembered it, just with a lot less attempted murder going on. Toya was there, too, though there was no giant toad creature anywhere in sight, and Jester wasn’t sure whether to be happy or sad about it.

On one hand it was one less thing on her plate, but on the other it would have been a nice distraction.

She remembered sneaking around these very same tents, spending their night rowing across the lake to fight against the creature that had been threatening the people visiting the circus and she also remembered having a drink afterwards, or in Jester’s case a glass of milk.

Only that none of that had ever happened in this world.

Shaking that thought off, Jester tried her best to enjoy the show before they made their way back towards the tavern for the night. They had invited Molly to come along for a drink, or well, Molly had invited himself along, and how could she have been able to say no?

“Would you do me the honor of granting me this dance?” His lips were curved into a grin as he held out his hand, and before Jester could even think about saying no, she had been swept off her feet as he twirled her around the room. The music wasn’t exactly made for dancing, but it didn’t seem to matter to Molly. It almost felt like there was entirely different tune playing in his head that they were dancing to now.

It was a feeling Jester knew well, and yet she envied him for it in that very moment. Try as she might, she couldn’t quite let that happy feeling overtake her, not when her mind was somewhere else entirely.

-

The air was hot inside the tavern and Jester’s cheeks were flushed as Caleb and her swirled around on the dance floor. Or whatever the drunken equivalent of that was. Jester, of course, was completely sober, though she could feel the tiredness in her bones. It had been a long day, and she was tired, not only of fighting, but also of Fjord continuously ignoring her advances or making fun of them.

And Caleb was...fun to poke every now and then. There was something about him that Jester couldn’t quite put her finger on. He was mysterious and powerful in his own way, and she often wondered what he was hiding behind that wall he had very clearly built up.

Jester had done much the same, really, only that she had found a different way to keep people from getting too close to her.

There was something easy about this though, about twirling around the tavern floor, and she could almost hear her own laughter echoing off the walls as she felt Caleb’s arm around her waist. A feeling so warm and familiar, and yet foreign and new at the same time.

Jester thought that, maybe, she could get used to this.

-

“Oh Darling,” It was Molly’s hand against her cheek that brought Jester back to reality, and she blinked, almost disoriented for a moment, before realizing just where she was. “Don’t cry. It’s going to be okay.”

She hadn’t even realized that tears had been forming in her eyes and were now spilling over onto her cheeks, and in turn also on Molly’s hands. Jester attempted to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her, the smile still firmly in place on his lips.
“It’s going to be okay, and do you want to know why I think that?” He continued, and she could only nod as she tried to bite her lip, so she’d keep herself from completely breaking down. “Because you seem like the type of person who will leave every place better than they found it, and fate treats those people kindly.”

“Do you really think so?” It felt like a stupid question, but Jester hadn’t felt like fate had been kind to her at all lately. From finding out that Molly had turned into Lucien and was trying to bring that awful city back, to following him there and potentially having to harm their former friend, before eventually losing Caleb, his love confession still echoing in her head.

“Of course, dear. You’re here, right?” Molly’s fingers gently brushed the tears from her cheeks and Jester frowned, nodding slightly. “That means that somehow, fate granted you a second chance. Or a chance to fix whatever you think went wrong. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think many people get that chance, do you?”

Jester could feel her chest tightening a little as she glanced up at him then, but Molly was still smiling. “From what you’re telling me, I certainly didn’t, but that’s okay. It sounds like I left you all a little better than you were before.” He then chuckled, and Jester couldn’t quite help the way her own lips turned upwards just a little.

“You know, Beau would have rolled her eyes at that and called you an arrogant dick.” She then muttered, leaning into his touch once more, soaking it up and filing it away for later. As much as it had hurt to think about losing him, Jester was beginning to think that it was a blessing, too. She had gotten a second chance to say goodbye, and even though she still wasn’t ready, she was at least a little more prepared.

“Well, it sounds like her and I would be great friends.” Molly laughed as he pulled back eventually, nodding towards the second floor. “Now, let’s get you to bed so you can catch up on some sleep. I know how hard it can be to be on the road for days on end.”

Jester could feel his hands on the small of her back as he guided her towards the stairs then, her eyes briefly meeting with Yasha’s, who was still sitting in one of the booths in the corner, nursing her drink, and when the other woman nodded, Jester went along, taking one step at a time.

-

When she woke up the next day, she half expected to be back at the Chateau. It had been the last time she had slept in a proper bed, or well...woken up in one anyway. It had only been a couple of days and yet she felt like a completely different person.

Back then Jester had thought that it would be easy to figure this whole thing out, and to find a way to return to her own time and save Caleb, but now that she’d been at it for a while, the reality of it all had crashed over her like a tidal wave.

The truth was: She had no idea what she was doing, but if anyone knew how to fix this, then it was Caleb, or whoever he was in this reality.

Shaking her head, and ignoring the pain in her chest, Jester swung her legs out of bed, attempting to make herself look somewhat presentable. She had gone to sleep in her fine clothes last night, and while they were much prettier than her traveling clothes, they looked worse for wear after the night she’s had, and so she quickly changed before washing her face and brushing her hair out with her fingers.

Yasha was nowhere to be seen, and if Jester was being honest then she wasn’t even sure what time of day it way, so she decided to make her way down into the tavern room to look for her friend and possibly Molly, too. Their conversation from last night was still echoing in her mind, and thinking about it now, he really had been right. Jester, though she could be loud and up in people’s faces, was a kindhearted person, and maybe she deserved a chance to fix this whole mess.

Upon reaching the end of the stairs, she looked around the room, spotting a few random people over by the bar and eventually Yasha, who was sitting in the same booth she had last night, almost as if she had never left. She wasn’t alone, however. Artagan was leaning against the booth with his arms crossed, hood off, and talking to a man that had settled in next to Yasha, his legs propped up on the table and one of his arms behind his head, while he held a drink in the other.

Jester briefly wondered if she had ever seen him before, but he didn’t seem familiar to her at all. He was dressed in very fine clothes that had a purple color to them though, the first three buttons of his shirt left open to reveal his chest. His brown hair had been pulled into a ponytail and he was sipping on his drink as Jester approached the table.

“Good morning.” She managed, her eyes traveling from the man to Yasha and over to her best friend, whose lips had curved into a smile.

“Ah, Jester, yes. It’s way past noon, but we don’t want to get hung up on details, do we? This is Scanlan, an old friend of mine. We get drinks together sometimes, or well...in our timeline we do anyway.”

“And...he remembers you?” Jester asked, her eyes widening ever so slightly, but the small spark of hope she had felt was extinguished when Artagan shook his head.

“Sadly no. Or well. He does to a certain extent. The version of me that he knew before I met you.” Another smile, “and it was not easy to convince him to come and meet with me, but I have done it once before,”

“...and he did it again. Mainly because I am sure that my friend Vax is watching from somewhere and he’d absolutely hate seeing me having drinks with this one,” Scanlan added with a chuckle before finishing his drink and putting the empty tankard onto the table.

Jester had raised an eyebrow, catching Artagan’s eye, but her best friend simply shrugged his shoulders.

“I’ll tell you another time. Long story. A very fun one. Well, depends on the perspective I guess, but for now he’s going to help you.”

“Hilarious actually, but don’t tell any of my friends, they wouldn’t agree.” Scanlan then chuckled, before sliding his feet off the table. “I’m afraid I can only take you to Zadash. I have some business to attend there, and I don’t want to keep my wife waiting at home for too long. If you knew her, you’d know why. She’s beautiful and there’s no reason to stay away from her longer than I have to. Thank you for the drink,” Picking up a rather funny looking hat from the seat beside him, he gave the barmaid a wink and before Jester could even finish her question of “What’s your wife’s name?” He had lifted his hand and muttered a few words, and within seconds they were gone.

The familiar feeling of being teleported, that pull in her chest and the way her stomach fluttered ever so slightly, before she had solid ground under her feet again, took her back to the first time Caleb had teleported them, holding onto the little turtle figurine she had given him. It had been something that reminded her of home, a little piece of her heart that had stayed with him long before she had realized that she had given him more than just that.

Home is where the heart is.

Blinking, Jester looked around, noticing that they were standing in an alley way not too far from what she recognized as the Pentamarket.

Memories came flooding back in an instant, of visiting Pumat’s for the first time, and finding that little bakery where Caleb had stuck his hands into a loaf of bread.

“What the hell...?” Yasha’s voice brought her back to the present, and Jester noticed the other woman just a few feet away, shaking her hands as if to get rid of the weird feeling that the spell had left.

“It’ll pass. You get used to it,” She offered with a smile, watching as Scanlan stepped out of the alley, looking back at them over his shoulder.

“Well, it’s been a pleasure, I wish that I could...” he didn’t quite make it further than that, because with stepping out,  he had walked right into someone passing the alley, who very nearly knocked him over.

“Hey, watch where you’re walking, will you?”

Chapter Text

 “My apologies, my lady. It wasn’t my intention to be cross with you,” Scanlan had taken a short bow, but the woman he had bumped into didn’t seem to be affected by his charm at all. Instead, she waved him off, while her eyes fell onto Jester and Yasha instead, one eyebrow raising ever so slightly.

“Three people in an alleyway, that’s not suspicious at all.” She then continued, arms crossed in front of her chest as she stepped a little closer, and Jester, who had been biting the inside of her cheek this entire time, eventually spoke up.

“Oh. No. Not suspicious at all. We were just looking for a spot to make out, you know?” The words were out before she could stop them, and even though they were pretty on brand for her, she wasn’t sure just how well the lie was going to work.

“All three of you?” The woman asked, her eyebrow still raised as Jester tried to reinforce her, admittedly not very elaborate, lie.

“Oh, no. He just likes to watch.”

“I mean, she’s not wrong!” Scanlan called from where he had already stepped out of the alley. “Unfortunately, I do have to go, I have some business to tend to,” looking the woman over once more, he offered a smile, “but do give your employers my regards. I am sure they have heard of the wonderous stories of Vox Machina and the humble bard who told them to the world,” They all watched as he took another bow and then disappeared into the crowd, thankfully without bumping into anyone else this time around.

“Oh, it’s that dick.” The woman rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she turned back around. “Can’t say I missed out on never meeting him before. Well anyway. I’ve had my fair share of alley make outs, so I am not one to judge. I will say that there’s a few great Inns in this city though, which are probably more comfortable and also more sanitary. Most of them anyway. And congratulations! You’ve arrived just in time for the Harvest Close Festival, which is fun, but you might also  want to be quick before all that’s left are shitty alley ways for you to sleep in. Welcome to Zadash,” giving them one more nod, the woman slunk back out of the alley and into the crowd, and Jester released a breath she hadn’t known she was holding.

“Everything okay?” Yasha eventually asked, her hand coming to rest of the other woman’s shoulder.

“Yeah.” She muttered; eyes glued to the blue robes of her once good friends until they had disappeared between the people walking the streets of Zadash.

-

“So...was that a friend of yours, too?” They had been quiet up until now, making their way through Zadash and eventually getting a room at the Pillow Trove. It was easily acquired considering this time around Jester hadn’t spent all of her money on getting some horses with dresses for her travels, and also knew what she was looking for.

She had briefly considered going to see her dad, but walking into a underground crime lair in her emotional state might have not been the best idea, even she had to admit that. After all he had no idea who she was, and the Mighty Nein as people, and the Gentleman, knew them, did not exist in this world.

“Yeah.” Stopping in her tracks, Jester glanced up to meet Yasha’s eyes for a moment. There were so many things she wanted to tell the other woman, but with Yasha still grieving Zuala’s loss, at least in this world, it probably wouldn’t have helped to tell her that the woman they had just seen in the alley was her girlfriend in another life, and that she had never seen her happier than when she was around Beau.

The two of them getting their happy ending had been part of what had made Jester believe in true love. The kind of love she had been wanting, too, even if it wasn’t like it had been in the books that she’d been reading all her life.

The mutual respect and adoration, stumbling over your words just a little bit whenever you talked to them, and just being there for the other, even if that meant sitting in silence until the worst was over. It had all been there, right in front of her, and she had been unable to see it.

-

“We’re going to find a way to fix this, you know?” Her voice was quiet from where she sat, feeling her heart miss a beat when Caleb’s hand came to rest on top of her own for a brief moment. It was hidden by the table and the dim light in the bar, but Jester felt the brush of his hand against hers, and before she could even stop herself, she had intertwined their fingers to keep him in place.

It had been a long day, and all of her filters were down, allowing her emotions to get the upper hand.

“I appreciate your optimism, blueberry.” The nickname made her lips curve into a soft smile, and she leaned her head back against the wall, but made sure to never take her eyes off him. The truth was: this could have very well been their last night together, they had no idea what to expect from following Lucien back to Aeor and, possibly, this ancient city, but Jester was smart enough to understand that they might not make it back.

Still, she was going to do everything in her power to prevent that from happening, especially since they still had things to do. Like kick Ickythong’s ass and helping Caleb, Astrid and Wulf rebuild the Assembly, or whatever it was they were wanted to do.

All Jester knew was that she wanted Caleb to be happy, even if it meant that she would have to give her all, and ultimately, her life. It was a thought she should have dwelled on a little longer maybe, because there was more to it, she could feel it, like she hadn’t quite unlocked the full extent of it, but they were both tired, and the rest of their friends were probably waiting for them, too.

“Always. Cay-leb.” She eventually replied, squeezing his hand once more, not quite knowing that the smile he gave her would haunt her just a few days later.

-

“Hey, you know what we should do?” Jester eventually added, wiping at the corner of her eyes with her sleeve. “If it’s Harvest Close then there’s going to be some fun things in the city. There’s even a competition where groups can fight and win a prize. I don’t think we’re allowed to participate with just the two of us, but it could be fun to watch?”

If she was being honest then she was going to take any distraction she could get, and watching some people fight a giant alligator was probably going to be very distracting, and entertaining. Well, unless the alligator was going to eat them, but Jester was going to worry about that later.

“Yeah. Sounds fun.” Yasha agreed with a nod, her hand briefly coming to rest on the other woman’s shoulder before stepping out of the door, and one day Jester would be able to tell her how much she appreciates the gesture, but for today she would simply stick to fighting the tears that had formed in her eyes once more.

-

The streets of Zadash were bustling with people, laughing and even occasionally singing, and Jester was sure that most of them were already drunk, despite it being barely noon. She had never really been one to drink, but she didn’t fault people for using it as a method of celebration, especially when the rest of their life usually consisted of rarely anything but work.

It was easy enough to acquire two seats in the crowd for the fights. Jester, of course, would know the names of every group before it was announced, and she wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about it. She had even briefly considered trying to find Darrow, because despite not knowing who she was, he had always seemed friendly and would probably make friends with her easily. It would have been nice to see another familiar face that didn’t make her feel like she was going to cry, too.

The stadium was slowly filling up with people from all over the city, and probably outside of it, too. Jester assumed that these kinds of festivals always drew a big crowd, after all they had also just gotten into the city and like most of the people here, they were looking for a distraction.

“Do you want some food?” She eventually asked, glancing back at Yasha. “I could get us something. I don’t know if they’ll have bugs or anything, but maybe just some bacon? Or maybe I’ll find some candy!” She wasn’t even sure why, but it was hard for her to sit still, much like she couldn’t allow her thoughts to slow down enough to focus on the fact that she still had absolutely no idea how to fix this mess.

Artagan had been gone the moment they had appeared in the alley, and Jester wasn’t sure if he was off trying to gather information, or if the spell, though it technically hadn’t been his own, had taken up all of his energy for the day and he’d be rejoining them once he was able to. Either way she hadn’t heard from him yet.

“Oh, yeah. Sure, anything’s fine.” Yasha nodded in response, and Jester tried her best to offer the other woman a bright smile.

“Right. Save me a seat! I’ll be right back!” It was easy enough to slink through the people making their way towards their assigned seats and back out onto the streets, much like it was easy to acquire candied apples and a small bowl filled with bacon. Jester had also stopped to pick up some ale for Yasha, figuring that was the kind of drink you consumed while watching a fight.

It was harder than anticipated though, carrying everything back to her seat, and so it didn’t come as a surprise that she eventually bumped into someone after nearly avoiding previous collisions.

“Oh no, I’m sorry!” Jester managed to hold on to all her belongings, only spilling a little bit of ale down her dress as she attempted to get some order back into the mix of food and drinks in her hands. It wasn’t like she didn’t have the money to go back and get some more, but it would have been a waste, and she also didn’t want to miss the first fight.

“Don’t worry. It’s a busy day today. I’d say do watch your step though, I’m sure people can get a little rowdier as the day goes on.”

The familiar voice had Jester freeze up on the spot, and for a moment it felt like she couldn’t breathe. Like that one time she had taken one of her mother’s corsets and tied it way too tightly, but a hundred times worse, because this time around she couldn’t just go running to her mother and ask her to untie it.

She was stuck, frozen in place, and looking up at the man she was in love with, only that he wasn’t that man at all. His hair was shorter than she was used to seeing it, his lips curved into a kind and yet generic smile, with his fine, red robes standing out in a crowd full of people who had mostly come dressed in their work clothes.

“Everything okay, Miss?” It wasn’t until he spoke again, that Jester realized she had dropped everything she’d been holding, the food scattered in front of her feet and the ale staining the bottom of her dress and her shoes.

“Caleb.” She whispered, her voice barely audible as she looked back at him, but there was no recognition in his eyes.

Chapter Text

“My apologies, you must have me confused with someone.” The smile on his lips was the same she had known for so many months now, and yet it seemed entirely different somehow, and Jester, for the first time in her life, didn’t know what to say. “I am...sorry about your food though, are you alright?”

There were about a million layers to that answer, but the one that stood out to Jester after she had gone through all of them in what felt like a heartbeat was that no, she wasn’t okay, but how was she supposed to explain that to a complete stranger?

“Would you like me to walk you back to your seat? I know the tournament is about to start. To be honest, I’d rather be somewhere else, doing more enjoyable things, but someone has to represent the Cerberus Assembly now, don’t they? I still don’t quite understand why I have to do it though, but...” A pause. “I am rambling. Again, my apologies. Would you like to go?”

Jester had watched his lips curve into another smile, his arm held out for her to take, and in another life, quite literally, she would have taken him up on that offer in a heartbeat, but right now the thought of touching him made it hard for her to even breathe.

“...’m fine.” She eventually managed, her voice small and nearly cracking as she spoke. “I’m just gonna...nice to meet you.” Gathering all the willpower she still had left, Jester forced herself to turn away from him, stumbling back through the crowd that was now beginning to filter in to fill the last seats.

She wasn’t planning on going back in there though. The thought of being in such proximity to Caleb was, much to her own horror, the last thing she wanted, because it hurt.

It hurt to see no recognition in his eyes when he looked at her, the soft and warm smile replaced with a generic one as he made polite small talk until he could move on from the conversation.

They had been able to talk for hours on end, or not at all, simply sitting next to each other with Caleb reading and Jester drawing in her sketch book, and yet she had never heard a silence quite this loud as she made her way out of the building and onto the streets.

There was music coming from somewhere, and people were talking and laughing as she stumbled about, trying to somehow make it to an alleyway so she could breathe.

It was easier said than done, however, because when she finally made it out of the crowded streets, Jester found that it was still hard to breathe.

Leaning against the brick wall of whatever building she found herself next to, she could feel tears beginning to well up in her eyes, spilling over on to her cheeks.

My apologies, you must have me confused with someone. Jester tried to find purchase with her hands then, at first in her dress, clenching her hands hard enough to hurt, and then on the wall behind her, the texture of the stone only briefly reminding her to take a breath before her entire body began to seize up again.

The sob that escaped her throat then was entirely unheard by anyone, drowning in the music and chatter that filled the streets, and yet Jester felt arms wrapping around her all of a sudden before she had even sunken down to the floor fully.

It took her a moment to fight through the haze enough to recognize Yasha, who was holding onto her tightly, before another sob shook her, and Jester found herself curling into the other woman, the last bit of her self-control slipping and shattering onto the alley floor.

-

When Jester came back to herself, everything was eerily quiet. It took her a moment to realize that she wasn’t in the alleyway anymore, and instead in what she recognized was a bed at the Pillow Trove. The sheets were soft and warm, and she eventually blinked her eyes open, finding Yasha in a chair by the window, eyes focused on her.

“I...how...what time is it?” She muttered, her voice still a little scratchy and her throat hurting.  

“About dinner time.” Yasha’s voice, though she naturally had a more somber one, was a little too loud as it filled the room, and Jester wished she would have been able to just pull the covers over her head to go back to sleep. Maybe, if she wished hard enough, she’d be able to wake up in a world where everything was okay again.

“I told them to bring some food up to the room though. I...figured you wouldn’t want to go downstairs to eat.”

“Did you order some cooked rats, too?” Jester couldn’t help but ask as she sat up, trying her best to ignore the knot that hard formed in her stomach. She didn’t even feel like eating at all, even though she didn’t quite remember the last time either of them had any food at all.

“I...they have those here?” Yasha asked, and Jester very nearly laughed, forgetting about her troubles for just a split second.

“I mean...we pay a lot of money for this room, so the least they could do is cook what you want, right?”

“I might have to go and ask then,” There was the hint of a smile on Yasha’s face before she eventually picked up the chair, scooting a little closer to the bed. “You know...you don’t have to talk about what happened, but...do you have a plan of what we’re going to do next? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind traveling around, it’s what I do, but...it would probably help to have some kind of plan, right?”

Glancing up to meet the other woman’s eyes, Jester did little to hold back the sigh that escaped her lips then. “Yeah...I just...we can find a way to fix this, right?” It was strange, because up until today she had wished that Caleb would be here to help, but now that she had run into him, or whatever version of him this was, Jester had to admit that it had, somehow, only made things worse.

“We have to...we have to find Essek, and somehow convince him to help us. He’s the only one I know that works with time travel and stuff, but he’s in Xhorhas...and he doesn’t know who we are.” And this time around they didn’t have a Beacon to get themselves a good standing with the Bright Queen either, which further complicated things.

“May I suggest something?” Yasha chipped in, her lips curved into the slightest of smiles, something that was strangely comforting to Jester. “I mean...how much worse can it get? I...used to ask myself that all the time. You can just sit around here and wait for a miracle, but...maybe that miracle already happened. You found me, and we’re here and...if whatever we try doesn’t work out, then that’s terrible but...it’s better than knowing all we did was sit around and wait.”

“Oh Yasha.” Sighing again, Jester threw herself forward into the other woman’s arms, who caught her with ease. She could feel tears stinging in her eyes once more but wiped them away with her sleeve as she pulled back. “You’re right...”

Yasha was much smarter than anyone gave her credit for, and Jester honestly had no idea what she would have done if it hadn’t been for the other woman by her side. “You deserve the world Yasha, you know that, right?” She then whispered, watching as the other’s smile got just a little brighter.

“I’ll go get us some food.” She then nodded, squeezing Jester’s hand once before heading out the door.

It took the other woman a few moments to gather her thoughts before she waved her hands through the air to cast the spell she had so often used ever since leaving Nicodranas. Or at the very least had in her own timeline.

“Hey Essek? It’s Jester. I know you don’t know me, but I need your help. It’s important. Can we talk? I’m in Zadash. The PillowTrove.” Taking a deep breath, she sent off another message shortly after, “I know you like soup. And you float everywhere. And that you’re my friend. And I really, really need your help. Please.”
-

There had been no response to the message ever since Jester had sent it off, not immediately after, and not when Yasha had returned with some food from the kitchen. Jester was sure that it was great food, but everything tasted just a little bland to her, and she figured that it wasn’t the cook’s fault.

The truth was: She had no idea what to do. It would be weeks of travel to Xhorhas, and even then, there was no guarantee that Essek would even hear them out, let alone help, and considering she wasn’t from around there, there was a good chance that they’d get arrested, or at the very least wouldn’t even make it as far as Essek. There was no one else to talk to though, because while Beau might have been persuaded to help, she knew very little about magic, let alone time travel magic, and Caleb, or whoever he was here, probably wasn’t going to respond well to being told that he technically wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for her and whatever magic Artagan had worked to make this possible.

“Oh Caleb...” Jester sighed as she leaned back, glancing over at the half-eaten plate of food on the bedside table, “what did I get myself into?”

-

At some point she must have fallen back asleep, because when Jester woke again, it was fully dark outside. Blinking her eyes open, she took a moment to adjust to the darkness, not too alarmed to find a figure standing by the door. She assumed that Yasha hadn’t been able to sleep either or was maybe still watching over her. It warmed Jester’s heart to think that the other woman had so easily offered her friendship and protection, even though she technically didn’t even know her. It was nice, to not only have a familiar face with her, but also a friendly one.

It wasn’t until she glanced around the room, finding the other woman asleep on the floor next to the bed, that Jester realized that the person she was looking at wasn’t Yasha.

Sitting up very quickly, her heart suddenly beating faster in her chest, she felt the panic beginning to creep up on her.

“Who’s there?” She then called, blinking again to finally make out the features of the person, who hadn’t moved an inch. The long, dark brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail, a stark contrast to the pale skin, even in the dark, and from her place in the bed Jester could tell that, whoever that person was, was taller than her. “I have magic! And I once sunk an axe into a guy’s head because he was threatening my friends and me! And my friend Yasha here also has like, a really big sword that she will use to cut you in half!”

It only took a few seconds until Yasha was up too, already reaching for her weapon, but the figure didn’t seem to make a move to step closer, and the only response to Jester’s words was a chuckle.

“It’s good to see you too, Jester.”

The voice was familiar, and before shehad time to even respond, the figure began to shimmer, and within seconds, an entirely different person was standing where he had been just a moment ago.

She instantly felt the panic subside as she scrambled out of bed, with Yasha just managing to step out of the way, while Jester threw her arms around the figure and very nearly knocking them over.

“Well.” He then muttered, watching over Jester’s shoulder as Yasha lowered her sword, his arms coming to wrap around the tiefling pressing against him. “I guess I did finally find the right timeline.”

Chapter Text

Jester might have held on to the other a little too tight, but Essek didn’t complain. Instead, he kept his arms wrapped around her too, until she eventually managed to pull away, tears in her eyes.

“How did you find me? Wait. You’re my Essek, right? Because if not that would have been pretty awkward. I guess if you weren’t, you wouldn’t have been here. Unless you’re like...making that deal with the beacon. If you are: Don’t, that’s a really dumb idea, Essek!”  The words were tumbling from Jester’s lips, only stopping when Essek reached up to brush away one of the tears that had fallen onto her cheek.

“I am...your Essek, as you put it, as for the beacon...well. What is done is done in our timeline. I assume there’s an Essek somewhere in this timeline, so I don’t know what he’s up to, but...it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I found you.” He offered her a somewhat smile, and Jester could have kissed him, really. She hadn’t felt this happy since...well, she couldn’t quite remember when. Seeing Molly had been wonderful, but as great as it had been to see him happy, he hadn’t been her Molly, and he hadn’t really been able to help them much in terms of how to fix this whole mess either.

Essek, on the other hand, had found her even in this timeline, and maybe he had also found a way to fix what Artagan and her had done.

“Can you take us back?” Her voice was quiet when she spoke again, glancing up at her friend, leaning into his touch ever so slightly. “Because...well. I think...I think I saw Caleb, but he didn’t look like Caleb at all.” Jester could feel her chest tightening at the thought of the encounter, even though it had been perfectly civil. Maybe that was the reason it had felt so off though, because her Caleb would have smiled at her, that real, honest smile that made her feel all warm and tingly inside, and not the one she had seen back then. Polite and constructed, not unlike the smiles she had seen on Ludinus, Trent and Vess’ faces before.

“I’m afraid it’s not that easy.” Essek’s voice brought her back to the present and Jester bit her lip, glancing up at him once more. “I’ve...managed to travel to different timelines over the last few years, but while some of them came close, they weren’t the right ones. You know...there’s a billion different timelines. Every time someone makes a decision, there’s another tim line where they took a completely different route, and it’s hard to find the right one but this...this is different, because I am entirely sure that you’ve created this one. So...it’s like a pocket dimension, but instead of just being an empty space, you’ve created an entire world, Jester.”

Blinking up at him, she had very nearly stopped listening to the words that, in any other situation, might have made sense to her, but Jester’s thoughts were circling around something he had said in the beginning.

“What do you mean, ‘over the last few years’?” She eventually asked, her voice a little shaky as she watched Essek’s expression darken just a little. “Essek?”

“It has...taken me some time to find you, like I said. Jester, how much time has passed for you?”

Feeling the cold fear gripping her heart, Jester blinked again, almost afraid to say the words out loud, or maybe afraid to heart what Essek had to say in response to them.

“A few weeks, at most.” Yasha’s voice echoed in Jester’s ears, and she almost jumped, having nearly forgotten that the other woman was even there. “Since I’ve met Jester, anyway. Since we’ve left the Chateau. I don’t...really remember much from before.” She paused. “I mean...I do remember I have a past but...the concept of time and when it all happened is...weird.”

Lowering his gaze for a moment, Essek seemed to hold back a sigh. “It’s...been a little longer for me, for...us back home.” He then replied, watching as Jester seemed to deflate even more.

“How long?” She then whispered, the tears having returned to her eyes.

“Since that fight in the city? Nearly four years.”

-

The knock on his door very almost went unheard, because the book in his lap, though he had read it a hundred times, was still one of his favorites, and he’d really rather not be disturbed while reading it again.

The woman on the other side of the door, however, did not seem to care at all, and he really shouldn’t have been surprised. “Why do you even knock?” He asked, only taking his eyes off the page once he had finished reading the last sentence.

“Because I was raised to be polite.” The blonde chuckled as she stepped into the study, closing the short distance between the door and the desk he was sitting on. “Besides, you didn’t come straight home, so I figured I’d check in with you.”

Closing the book, he found that his lips were curving into a small smile as he watched her lean against the desk next to him, her smile matching his. “How was your little trip?”

“Boring, of course. “ He then huffed, reaching out to take her hand in his for a moment before bringing his lips to the back of it. “I love you, but I do not understand why I had to go in the first place.”

“To represent the Assembly, mein Liebling.” She chuckled, leaning into the touch for a brief moment, before pulling her hand away so she could reach out and brush a strand of hair from his face.

“Ist das nicht deine Aufgabe?” He then added, raising an eyebrow but leaning into her touch all the same.

“Maybe, which brings us back to the question you’ve posed and already answered. It’s incredibly boring, so you were kind enough to take that burden from me.” She laughed, glancing down at the book on the desk. “You’re still reading that old fairytale?”

Following her gaze, he simply nodded, his hand reaching out to touch the old, worn-out cover. “It’s strange. I haven’t looked at it for a while, but today, when I got back, I felt the sudden urge to read it. I’m sorry if I kept you waiting,”

Smiling, the blonde shook her head, her thumb running over his cheek before pulling her hand back. “Mach dir keine Sorgen. Don’t worry about me, I know how to keep myself busy.”

“Oh, I have no doubt about that.” He nodded, finally lifting himself out of the chair and grabbing his coat, before offering the woman his arm. “Shall we go home then? Es war ein langer Tag,”

“A long day indeed,” She agreed with a smile, before taking the offered arm as they left the study behind.

-

“Four years? Essek that’s so long!” Jester had sat down onto the bed, after she hadn’t quite trusted her legs to hold her up anymore. They had started to feel like jelly the moment he had told her just how much time had passed, and Jester wasn’t quite sure how to deal with that information.

“Well. It’s taken me a while to figure out how to time travel and...without Caleb to help me with the research, it took me a year to even attempt my first journey into the past, and mind you, that was only an hour backwards.”

Yasha had settled down next to Jester, her hand resting on top of the other woman’s, and even though she hadn’t voiced it out loud, she was thankful for the gesture, no matter how small it was. Yasha had been her anchor these past few weeks, and Jester wasn’t even sure if she would have made it this far without her.

“So...what’s the plan now? You take her back?” Yasha eventually asked and Jester instantly turned back to Essek, a tiny spark of hope settling in her chest.

“I’m afraid it’s not that easy.” He sighed in response, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’ve...created this timeline, so it’s something that wasn’t planned for. Whenever people make decisions and change the course of their story, the other dimensions in which they made different decisions simply exist alongside of it, but this dimension? It’s something messing with the rifts between worlds and dimensions. I haven’t had time to explore the abnormalities appearing all over the continent but...” He shook his head, “But nothing good is coming from it, I’m sure. So...what we need to do is find a way to destroy this dimension,” Essek paused, looking over at Yasha, who seemed to show no emotional reaction to the information. “And to get the two of us back to our own timeline before that..”

“I’m not going back to a world without Caleb!” Jester knew that she was being selfish, especially considering her friends had spent five years living their lives without him, and her too, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to accept that there was no other way to fix this.

Fighting against the tears that were burning in her eyes, Jester tried her best to ignore how the spark of hope had now turned to dread, spreading through her chest. “Essek. You’re the smartest person I know, aside from Caleb, there has to be something we can do!” She reached out to grab his hands, squeezing them maybe a little too tightly.

Essek, however, didn’t even seem to mind though, or he didn’t care, simply glancing back at her, as if to contemplate their options. “I...need to do some more research. If we make it to Rexxentrum then we can possibly gain entrance to the libraries there, they’re more extensive than the ones I’ve seen, I believe. I’m sorry that I cannot bring you better news, Jester.”

Glancing down at their hands, Jester blinked away some more of the tears, before shaking her head. “I’m just glad you’re here, Essek.” She then replied, “Yasha and I have been trying to get by and...at least this way we have something we can work towards, right?” Her attempt at a smile then was weak, but nobody was calling her out on it, not even Yasha who, granted, did not know her as well as she might have done in another timeline, but still.

“Right. Would you like to wait until tomorrow or teleport now? Either is fine with me.” Essek then continued his train of thought, expectantly glancing at Jester and Yasha.

“Well. I don’t think I can go back to sleep, so...now? I’m just gonna head out and use the rest room, yeah?” And with that Jester had jumped off the bed, using the sleeves of her shirt to wipe at her eyes as she exited the room.

Heading for the end of the corridor, she didn’t take a left towards the bathroom, however, but instead around the corner to the right, before glancing around to make sure she was alone so she could cast the spell she’d been thinking about for a while now.

“Veth? I know you don’t know me, but...I could really use my best friend. I know that sounds weird. Come to Rexxentrum if possible.” Jester, even though she was well aware that it was a long shot, couldn’t shake the thought of needing a hug from Veth, and her heads on approach to anything, no matter how impossible it seemed. “Please? I know you have Yeza and Luc, but...I need you. I’ll explain, I promise. You can reply to this message.”

She wasn’t even sure if she was expecting an answer, already pushing herself away from the wall to head back, when a familiar voice echoed in her head.

“What the fuck?” A pause. “If this is a prank, I will personally find you and shove one of my arrows up your ass. If not...how the fuck do you think I’m gonna get to Rexxentrum from here? I assume you don’t want to meet me in three weeks?” There was another pause, where Jester couldn’t quite stop the spark of hope from resettling inside of her chest. “Alright. Give me like...a day.”

Chapter Text

It was the sheer exhaustion that had let Jester fall asleep again once they had made it to Rexxentrum. They had gotten some rooms at an Inn, not one they had stayed at before, but she hadn’t really cared. Her head was still spinning from all the information she had received from Essek, and the fact that Veth was coming to meet them.

Veth, who seemed to be Veth, and not Nott, but then again it shouldn’t have come as a surprise since she clearly hadn’t been traveling with Caleb in this dimension.

Ignoring the way her chest tightened at the thought of Caleb, Jester tried her best to make herself look presentable before heading down the stairs to the tavern part of the Inn, where Yasha and Essek were both already seated at a table, or at the very least she assumed it was Essek, considering he had taken on another disguise.

“Good morning.” She attempted her best to keep some of her usually so cheerful nature, but it was hard to maintain the smile on her face as she settled down next to her friends. Both of them had been silent up until now, with Essek reading what Jester assumed was one of his notebooks, and Yasha watching him.

“Good morning, Jester. Did you get some sleep?” It should have been a surface level question, but when Essek’s eyes rose to meet hers, she could tell that he really did care about the answer.

“I slept okay.” She eventually replied, shrugging her shoulders. “I was tired.” If she was being honest, she rarely remembered ever being this exhausted, physically and emotionally, and that was saying something considering what the Mighty Nein had been through ever since meeting. “Do we have a plan?”

The barmaid came by their table to pick up some breakfast orders, and Jester found herself ordering some eggs and bacon, but didn’t feel like eating much, instead pushing the food around her plate as they debated on their next moves.

“I need to do some more research. I haven’t been able to figure out where one can go in Rexxentrum. I know that the Cobalt Soul allows visitors in their libraries, at least the ones I’ve been to, but I’m not sure about this one. Besides, there might not be anything useful in the sections that are open to the public.” Essek explained, while Jester had perked up at hearing about the Cobalt Soul.

“Just tell them that you’re friends with Beau. Beauregard Lionett, I mean.  If they check with her...well, Beau isn’t someone to instantly rat you out, at the very least she’d ask you what you want. Oh, wait!” It almost seemed like the spark had returned to Jester’s eyes as she rummaged through her bag for a moment before pulling out some paper and a pen.

“I can forge a letter of recommendation! I know her handwriting!” It might not have been the safest option, but at the very least it would maybe get them some new information, and it wasn’t like they were planning on staying here forever anyway.

“That’s the Jester I know.” Essek’s voice was soft, and when Jester looked up to meet his eyes, there was a faint smile on his lips. It made her feel a little better already, and so she went to work, trying her best to sound like Beau when giving Yasha and Essek’s alias full access to whatever part of the library they wanted.

“You’re not coming with us?” Yasha eventually asked, peering over Jester’s shoulder and reading the names on the paper.

“Oh. No. Well. I figured it would be enough if the two of you went, and I could go check out the Academy, see if they let people into the libraries there. You know? Just in case the whole Cobalt Soul thing doesn’t work out.” It was probably a terrible idea, but Jester knew she wouldn’t get any rest until she went, and even though Essek seemed to see right through her, one eyebrow slightly lifted as their eyes met, he didn’t say a word about it, something Jester was more than thankful for.

“We should be leaving soon. The more time we spent looking, the higher our chances are at finding something useful.” He eventually nodded, and Jester agreed.

“Yes. You two take this and head off, I’ll finish my breakfast and we can meet back up here this afternoon, how does that sound?” Handing over the letter, she found Essek nodding in response, before his hand came to rest on her arm for a brief moment. “Just...be careful, Jester. Will you?” Their eyes met once again, and she found her stomach dropping ever so slightly.

“Ja. Of course.” She then muttered, glancing down at where he squeezed her arm, before heading off. Jester then watched for a moment until her friends had disappeared, the tavern door falling shut behind them, before pushing away her half-eaten plate.

“Veth?” She then whispered, waving her hand through the air, casting the familiar spell, “It’s me, Jester. Meet me at the Shimmer Way Inn when you get here. Hope you’re still coming.”

-

“It feels real, you know?” It was the first time Yasha had spoken ever since they had made their way across the city and towards the Cobalt Soul library. Essek knew she had never been a big talker, especially not in the early days as he had been told, so he hadn’t expected to be making small talk. “Being...here. I feel real, but if what you’re saying is true then...I’m not real. Not entirely anyway.”

Slowing down his steps, he glanced over to look at her, expecting to find anger and maybe sadness, but was instead met with honest confusion, and maybe even curiosity.

“Well. It’s...complicated, like I said. What you know about your past...and yourself, is what Jester knows. Try...to think about Zuala. You know who she is, but I assume you have a hard time picturing her face, or what her voice sounded like? It’s because Jester never met her.”

There was a pause, where the confusion seemed to intensify, and then turned into a somewhat recognition.

“I...yes. That makes sense. I think.” She then muttered, nodding slightly as they made their way through the morning crowd. “She must really be very powerful if she managed to create all of this.”

“Oh, she is.” Essek nodded in agreement. “Undoubtedly it was Artagan, her fey friend, who helped, but together they created this world. I believe...” Essek stepped aside to let a very determined looking dwarf pass him by, “there’s some things she created on purpose. Like...you being around to help her, and some things she might not have created on purpose, things that were in her head and manifested in a certain way. I assume you’ve heard about Fjord going off to sail the seas with Captain Avantika? Now, I’ve only really heard stories of what happened, since that was before...my time with them, but I am quite certain it didn’t go down that way.”

Stopping eventually, Essek glanced up at the building that rose before them, built out of stone with a grand staircase leading up to a dark, wooden double door and blue banners flying on either side. “Creating even the slightest pocket dimension is a very complicated thing, so creating a whole world is...quite extraordinary.” He eventually added, looking back at Yasha, who, for the first time, was really meeting his eyes.

“The things you do for love, huh?” She then nodded, and Essek, despite himself, smiled.

“Indeed,” He agreed, pulling out the letter Jester had forged, “Shall we give this a try?”

-

Jester could feel her heart beating hard against her ribcage as she slowly, but surely, walked towards the Academy grounds. She had been able to see the main building from a mile away, but the closer she got, the more she was beginning to doubt her decision of coming here. Or at the very least the thought that it had been a wise idea. Maybe Essek and Yasha were going to be lucky at the Cobalt Soul, and maybe they didn’t need to access the school library here, if that was even possible.

Just get it together. You’re so close. You can’t give up now! The voice in the back of her head then told her, and maybe it was right. It couldn’t hurt to at least ask, right? She didn’t even have to go inside. She didn’t have to talk to anyone but the person who oversaw the library.

Drawing closer, Jester soon found herself surrounded by students in brown robes, mixed with the occasional red one that seemed to be reserved for the older students, chatting and laughing as they passed her by.

They all looked happy, though some quickened their pace eventually, probably not wanting to be late for class, while others had settled down onto the grass for a second breakfast, or to catch up on their reading.

It felt like a déja vu, so much so that Jester didn’t realize just how much of one it was until she heard a familiar voice. “Can I help you? You look...well, for the lack of a better word, lost.”

Blinking, she focused on the woman who had spoken, her red robes distinctively standing out against the student robes, being more intricately crafted and decorated, while her blonde hair hung over her shoulders in curls. There was no scar on her eye, and yet Jester had no trouble identifying the woman within seconds.

Glamors. She thought to herself, images of a conversation over dinner flashing before her eyes.

Caleb, I want to learn about glamors! Her own voice echoed inside her head, and she forced herself to look back at the woman, who had offered her a smile.

“I...uh. Yes. I was just...I was thinking about applying to the Academy. You know. If that’s possible.” Waving her hand through the air, she quickly created a gust of wind that blew the other woman’s hair back over her shoulders.

Her heart was still beating fast inside her chest, and Jester wondered if she’d be sent away instantly, because technically she wasn’t a wizard, and maybe the other was easily seeing through her lies, like she had before.

“Impressive.” Instead of mistrust, however, she was met with a smile, which threw her off course ever so slightly. “Normally there’s an application process, which involves a certain window of time, so we can adequately start classes and give everyone the same chance to advance and develop their gifts.” Another smile. “But...you might just be in luck.” Reaching into a small satchel that hung on her belt, the woman pulled out a piece of paper, scribbling something down, before handing it to Jester. “Come back tomorrow at that time, the headmaster will see you then and you can plead your case as to why you should be accepted into the Academy.”

“I...are you sure that’s...okay? I mean. I don’t want to just like...take up all of their time.” And get roped into something I’m not here for. Jester then thought, but the woman simply smiled again, shaking her head.

“Oh, I can assure you he won’t mind. He’s...always appreciated talent, and you certainly exhibit that. I’ll let him know you’re coming. What was your name again?”

“Jester.” She replied without thinking, instantly cursing herself for giving her real name, even though she was almost ninety-nine percent sure that it meant nothing to the other. “Jester Widogast.”

Meeting her eyes, the other woman nodded, the smile still in its place. “Duly noted. He’ll be expecting you. Don’t be late. We pride ourselves on hard work and being on time here at the Academy and at the Assembly. A good first lesson to learn. Have a good day, Miss Widogast.” She then added, before turning on her heels and heading off towards the main building, leaving Jester standing by herself, trying to remember how to breathe.

Oh no.

Chapter Text

“Well. That was a waste of time,” Essek sighed as he settled into the chair, eyes finding both Yasha, who was leaning against the door, and then Jester, who had dropped onto the bed, looking somewhat anxious. He had always been good at reading people, and there was something bothering her, something else on top of being stuck in an alternate reality, but he wasn’t going to push her, not now anyway. “I don’t know what I expected.”

“A stroke of luck, maybe? Something good happening?” Jester sighed in response, bottom lip pulled between her teeth. “Maybe...maybe we can contact Beau? She might not know who we are, but if we sell it right, she could let us in. Or at the very least find a book that can help us.” They were grasping at straws at this point, and Jester was very aware of it, but she wasn’t just going to sit idly by.

“I don’t know what the headmaster of the Academy can do for us...I don’t really wanna talk to them like...what if they’re weird? But also, Astrid is married to them apparently? And maybe I can sign up or something, and that’ll get us into the important parts of the library, but it’ll take time.” Time they probably didn’t have, which was strange considering Jester had created this whole place because Caleb and her had been running out of time.

Pushing the thought of him away as far as she possibly could, she watched as Essek’s expression shifted then. “Jester, I don’t...” He began, but she shook her head.

“I know. We don’t have time, but it can’t hurt right? To try everything?” Because truth be told: She had no idea what else they could do to figure this out. Essek, along with Caleb, was the smartest person she knew, and if he couldn’t come up with a way to fix this, then nobody could.

“That’s not what...” Essek muttered, but Jester had already moved on, reaching for her pillow to fluff it up.

“We should get some rest. You guys can request a meeting with Beau in the morning while I go and meet this guy. We’ll figure this out, okay?” And with that she had slipped under the covers, and Essek watched as Yasha pushed herself away from the door to join her, their eyes briefly meeting.

This isn’t good. He seemed to try and convey, and she simply nodded.

-

“I feel bad for not finding any pearls, Caleb, but everything was just so beautiful down there, you know? Like how the light reflected on the surface.” Jester watched as his lips curved into a smile at her words, her cheeks suddenly feeling warm.

“It’s okay, Jester. I found enough to last me a while.” He held out his hand towards her, and she leaned in, noticed the one black pearl among the white ones he had collected, and it instantly drew her attention. It wasn’t a color she would have usually gone for, but it stood out, and somehow Jester knew that it was special.

“I like that one.” She muttered, eyes eventually drawn up to meet Caleb’s.

“Me too.” He offered in response, the smile on his lips seemingly softening. “It’ll always help us get back here, which is why I thought it was important to find one.”

“We can always go back?” Jester then asked, her heart missing a beat as Caleb held her gaze.

“Of course, if you want to.” He nodded, his smile causing that familiar warmth to settle in her chest, before it spread through the rest of her body.

“I’d love that.”

-

When Jester woke from her dream, her head was spinning just a little, and she was half expecting to see Essek still in the chair, but he was gone. So was Yasha, the other side of the bed empty as she turned to look for the other woman.

There was a note left on the bedside table, however, and once she had blinked the rest of the sleep from her eyes, she was able to read about how the two of them had gone off to attempt to secure a meeting with Beau at the Cobalt Soul.

“Hopefully this will get us somewhere...” If Jester was being honest then she wasn’t even sure if there was anything the Cobalt Soul would know about this topic. The only people she knew were aware of how time travel magic worked were Caleb, Essek and possibly Trent Ikithon, but the thought alone of that man still existing in this universe was enough to send a shiver down Jester’s spine.

But you’d work with him to get Caleb back. The thought entered her mind then, and even though she absolutely despised him, she knew that she would have done anything to fix this, to get Caleb back.

-

“That is the absolutely wildest story I have ever heard.” There was a pause as Beau’s eyes travelled from the tall woman towards the man who, upon entering her office, had dropped the disguise he had been wearing, and instantly caught her attention. “I like it.” Her lips curved into a somewhat smile as she leaned back in her chair then. “It’s also the most interesting story that I have heard in a long time, and considering there’s tension between the Empire and Xhorhas, I assume you wouldn’t just...straight up come here and put yourself in danger if there wasn’t some truth to this.”

Essek had always been quite charming whenever he wanted to be. Or when there was something he wanted or needed. It hadn’t been until he had met the Mighty Nein, however, that he had found that one could use these skills for good, like talking himself into getting an audience with one of the highest-ranking members of the Cobalt Soul.

Jester had been right though, Beau had been quite interested in talking to them, and with how carefully she was watching them, Essek did the same, noticing the intrigue and the way her early skepsis changed into something else.

“I’m afraid there might not be much here that can help you. In terms of books that is.” She then continued, eyes once again traveling from Yasha to Essek and back, lingering on the woman a little longer.

“Anything could be of help.” Essek then nodded, trying his best not to sound too desperate. Their world had slowly been coming undone when he had left it, and if his calculations were correct, then at least another year had gone by since he had made it to this dimension.

We’re running out of time.

“My old mentor,” Beau began, eyes once more darting between the two of them, before Essek spoke again.

“Dairon.” He watched as the edges of Beau’s lips curved into a slight smile, as if she had been waiting for the confirmation that he wasn’t actually making all of this up.

“Yes. They’ve been to Xhorhas a couple of times on undercover missions, I assume you know as much. Maybe they can be of help. Let me reach out to them. Just let me know where to reach you and I’ll be in touch.” There was another pause where her attention shifted back to Yasha. “And while he figures all of that out, the two of us could...you know, get a drink?”

“Me? Oh, sure.” It was the first time Yasha had spoken since they had arrived at the Cobalt Soul, and Essek couldn’t quite help the way his lips curved into a smile as he noted down the address of the Pillow Trove.

-

The Academy ground were as busy as they had been the day before, and when Jester asked to be shown to the headmaster’s office, a young woman with dark hair that was falling over her shoulders and into her face as she attempted to carry five heavy books, pointed her in the right direction.

“You know, a bag of holding could be helpful with that! Pumat Sol down in the Pentamarket makes amazing ones!” She called after the girl in an attempt to calm down her own nerves, and maybe procrastinating actually stepping into the building.

You can’t be late. She then reminded herself, before taking a deep breath and crossing the threshold, following the instructions she had been given. There were a couple of other students passing her by, some too engrossed in their conversations to notice her, while other gave a nod or a friendly wave.

The brief thought of Caleb walking these corridors passed her mind, eager to learn and make something of himself, but Jester did her best to push it away, knowing she couldn’t get emotional now. If Essek and Yasha failed to find anything at the Cobalt Soul, then this library was the only chance they still stood at figuring out how to fix the mess she had created.

Taking another deep breath, she tried her best to ignore the way her hand was shaking as she raised it to knock on the door, her eyes only now falling on the note that had been pinned to it.

Will be back shortly.

The door wasn’t locked, so Jester stepped inside, eyes scanning the room, but not finding anyone there at first glance. She hadn’t explicitly been told to stay outside, but she had been told to be on time, so there was nothing wrong with being in here, right?

She briefly wondered if there was something in this office that could help her, something she could find before the headmaster returned, but before she could even begin to process the thought, a meow caught her attention.

It took her a moment to locate the source of it, but when she did, her heart missed a beat. There, on a stack of books beside the large, wooden desk, sat a very familiar, orange, slightly see-through cat, whose eyes focused on her.

“Frumpkin!” All of her care and thoughts went out of the window as she launched forward, bending down, her hand almost automatically reaching out to touch the fey being. For a brief moment Jester was sure that she was making this up, that Frumpkin couldn’t possibly be here, but the cat looked exactly like it always had, and upon his name being called he had perked up, head tilted slightly to the side, as if he was regarding Jester, trying to remember if he had seen her before.

“Oh Frumpkin, what are you doing here?” Jester whispered, hand finally connecting with the cat she had grown to love as much as his owner over the last year.

“Meow.” Leaning into the touch, Frumpkin provided no answer to the question, but didn’t seem to be opposed to the scritches he was receiving.  

“Miss Widogast, I assume?” The voice startled her enough to nearly topple over then, watching as Frumpkin meowed again, before jumping up onto the desk. “I do appreciate the punctuality, though I would love to know how you came know the name of my cat.”

The voice was so familiar to her, and yet she couldn’t quite bring herself to turn around just yet, instead attempting to calm down her racing heart. There were a million things running through her head right there and then, like the familiar red robes she had seen on Caleb, and how the Academy was probably still run by the Cerberus Assembly, how Astrid had looked so much happier than Jester had ever seen her, and the fact that the students at the Academy looked content to be there.

Seeing Caleb in Zadash, and even Frumpkin being here, it was all beginning to make sense, and Jester could suddenly hear Essek’s voice echoing in her ear.

That’s not what I...meant. The sentence from last night automatically completed itself, and Jester wished that she would have listened. Essek had been around in Rexxentrum longer than her, in this one anyway, and of course he must have known, or at the very least assumed.

“Miss Widogast?” She hadn’t even known it was possible to feel so many emotions at once, the sound of his voice, the way he spoke the name she had picked without thinking, but when Jester finally stood and turned around, it felt like her heart was simultaneously shattered into a thousand pieces, before being put back together.

“I...” She began, her eyes falling on the man that had stepped into the room. His hair was shorter than she was used to, and the beard just a little longer, and yet he was the same man she had fallen in love with over the last year.

No he’s not. A voice in the back of her mind reminded her, and Jester felt the cracks in her heart deepen once again.

“Have a seat, Miss Widogast.”

Chapter Text

“Do you think we stand a chance of solving this...this whole thing the way she wants to?” It was the first time Yasha had spoken since she had returned to join Essek in the Cobalt Soul library. They had an appointment with Expositor Dairon tonight, and as far as he could tell, that was going to be their only chance to figure things out.

“I...truly do not know.” Essek admitted, looking up from the book he’d been reading. “The fact that this dimension was created by Jester means that everything she knows about time travel magic is what everyone here knows.” He held back a sigh, closing the book eventually. “I was...hoping for the off chance that she might have picked something up she didn’t actively remember, something that would help us, but...” Essek trailed off, leaning back in his chair.

“It doesn’t seem like she did?” Yasha offered in response, and even though part of her still seemed worried, there was something different about her. Essek hesitated to call it a glow, but it was something like it.

“Exactly.” He nodded once more, “How was your date?” There was no reason to dwell on their problems any longer now that there wasn’t currently a solution for them to get ahold of. Dairon, and their experiences in Xhorhas, might have been their only chance to turn this thing around, especially since Essek wasn’t entirely sure in what state Jester would be once she returned from the Academy.

If he had been in any form or way religious, he would have prayed, but he would simply have to hope that fate was a little kinder to them this time around.

“Oh, I don’t know if we could call this a date.” Yasha replied, though Essek could see the way her expression softened ever so slightly.

“You might as well call it that, no need to be shy about it.” There was no judgement in his voice, he was just stating the fact. “As a matter of fact, I think you should go back and enjoy your time with her. We don’t quite know...how this will end, but I don’t think this dimension can exist for all eternity.” Jester might have not liked the idea of returning to a world without Caleb, and neither did Essek, but he had seen what her creation had caused, and if they weren’t careful there wouldn’t be a home for them to return to at all.

“You think I should?” It was easy to see part of the Yasha he had gotten to know shine through then, the softer side of her that this version of her was still keeping mostly hidden, at least if one didn’t know her, or so Essek assumed.

“Absolutely. I will be getting ready for the meeting with Dairon and seeing you tonight at the Inn. Please, enjoy yourself.” The smile on his lips didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Life is, apparently, short.”

-

Jester felt like her mind was going a hundred miles per hour, and it was very hard to sit down on the chair in front of his desk instead of throwing herself into his arms. He clearly had no idea who she was though, much like she hadn’t expected to find him here.

It made sense, of course it did, and maybe she would have seen the signs if she had stopped to think, but it wasn’t that easy. Whenever she thought about Caleb, she could feel her chest tightening to a point where it was becoming hard to breathe, and it wasn’t helping that they seemed to have hit a wall with finding a solution to their problem.

“So?” His voice pulled her from her thoughts, and Jester did her best to ignore the way her stomach dropped just a little.

“I...well. The other students told me to watch out for the cat, you know. They said that it likes to lounge around on the floor and that I have to be careful not to trip over it, because it wouldn’t make a great first impression.”

It was very obviously a lie, and if the Caleb from this dimension was even half as good at observing and knowing her than her Caleb, then he had already seen through it.

If he did, however, then he didn’t immediately call her out on it, and Jester very nearly let out a sigh of relief.

“Ah...and my wife told me that you’re interested in applying to the Academy, is that correct?” He regarded her for a moment, and Jester might have felt uncomfortable on the scrutiny of his gaze, if it hadn’t been for the fact that she could slowly, but surely, feel another crack appearing in her heart. She had known that Astrid and him were married, the Astrid and Caleb from this dimension anyway, and yet it hurt her more than she would have liked to admit.

Was this what would have happened if it hadn’t all gone wrong? If they had never met, would he have been happily married to someone that wasn’t her?

“She must have been very impressed with you if she referred you to me. Especially since we are technically not accepting any new students until the new school year.”

She blinked, trying her best to focus on him instead of the way her chest tightened once more.

There was absolutely no way she could have a panic attack now, it wouldn’t just be very inconvenient, it would also ruin the potentially only chance they had at figuring this out.

“Breathe, Jester.” Artagan’s familiar voice echoed in her ear, and luckily, she had been used to it for a long time, so she didn’t jump, further implicating herself and letting it shine through that something was clearly wrong.

She hadn’t seen him ever since they had made it to Rexxentrum, and yet she had never been gladder to have him here, only barely resisting the urge to turn and wrap her arms around him. “How about you try and tell him the truth? Not all of it, of course. Just...enough for him to trust you.”

“Miss Widogast?” Caleb’s voice was the one who startled her, and she looked up to meet his eyes, a curious yet slightly scrutinizing expression on his face.

“Sorry. Yes. I mean. No.” Jester muttered, taking a deep breath so she would stop stumbling over her own words. “I...don’t really want to sign up for this school. Don’t get me wrong, it seems like you’re doing a much better job than...” She trailed off, biting her lip, “...than other people would have, but...I’m mainly here because...well. Because a friend of mine kind of...messed with time magic a little bit?” It was the understatement of the century, but really there was no other way to put it without telling him the whole story, and Jester really wasn’t ready for that. “And...I figured if I could find anything about it in any books it would be the books here. You know, since this is such a big place, and only the smart people get to work and study here. Like you.”

She was almost out of breath by the end of her little speech, bottom lip pulled between her teeth. Maybe she had said too much. Maybe he’d question her motives, or her entire existence, really, and Jester wouldn’t even be able to blame him.

“Time magic?” Caleb cocked his head to the side, regarding her for a moment longer. “Well...I am flattered that your friend thinks that there’s anything to be learned here, but I am afraid there’s not much known about it in the Empire.” He paused, glancing around the room for a moment before getting up from his chair to walk towards one of the bookcases. “Time...as I understand it, isn’t necessarily linear. Something happening today, a choice we make, can change the entire course of our lives, but that doesn’t mean that the timeline in which we made a different choice gets abandoned.” Jester watched him pull out a book, thumbing through the pages. “The possibilities are...infinite, but I’ve always thought it to be dangerous to mess with these kinds of things. What if, after all, if you went back in time to change something, and it changes the course of history?” Glancing up, he met Jester’s eyes over the book he’d been going through, before closing it again. “I’d...suggest to your friend to stop messing with time if they don’t want to cause any trouble.”

A bit too late for that. Jester thought to herself but bit her lip a little harder to keep the words inside.

“Oh. Well...it’s really not as dramatic as that.” It’s much worse, really. “They just...wanted to know more about it, you know? And asked me to help them out, and since I’m such a good friend I figured I’d ask.” She almost stumbled over her own words again, trying her best to ignore the way her chest tightened once more.

“Well, Miss Widogast, I am not one to deny someone the chance of getting to educate themselves on certain subjects, but I am afraid you won’t find much about all of this in our libraries, but...” He trailed off once more, turning to walk back towards the desk, “I might be able to figure something out, under one condition.” His gaze met with hers once more, and Jester blinked, nodding slowly. “You’ll have to tell me how you really came to know the name of my cat.”

Her eyes found Frumpkin, who had now rolled up on the edge of the desk, and lifted his head at the mention of himself, and it made Jester think back to all those times they had interacted before, the way Caleb had always given the cat to her for comfort, how Frumpkin had licked the blood off her face and always been a constant companion, not only to him, but also to her.

“You have met me before, haven’t you?” The words made her stomach drop, and she simply shook her head. It wasn’t a lie. The person he was right now, the one who seemed happy and content with the life he led, happily married and the headmaster of a school? No, Jester had never met that man before. “But you have met my cat?” He then added, and Jester bit her lip once more.

“Technically?” It wasn’t really an answer, but he seemed content to not press on any further, at least not today.

“Well. Maybe you can tell me more about that another time? I will do my best to find out whatever I can for your friend.”

Jester had fully intended on getting up and heading for the door, but everything inside of her was screaming to step closer, to wrap her arms around him, even if he wasn’t her Caleb, he was still the physical embodiment of him, and maybe it was a bad idea, but maybe it was going to be the only chance she wasn’t going to fall apart completely.

“Miss Widogast?” He began, clearly not prepared for the way she launched herself at him then, arms wrapped around his torso and head buried against his chest. It was a momentarily lapse of judgement, though Jester couldn’t quite bring herself to regret it.

She could feel tears welling up in her eyes, the warmth of his body so familiar that, for a just a second, she could pretend everything was fine. That Caleb wasn’t dead and that she wasn’t stuck in an alternate dimension without knowing what to do about it.

“It’s Lavorre.” She then muttered, pulling back eventually, attempting her best to discreetly wipe at her eyes.

“Miss Lavorre.” He nodded, smoothing out his shirt as she stepped back, but Jester didn’t look up to see his face, and instead turned and rushed for the door, half expecting, and half hoping, for him to stop her, but he didn’t, the door falling shut behind her.

-

“Should I be worried? “The voice found its way into his head, and while the tone was clearly teasing, it took him a moment to reply.

“Niemals, meine Liebste.” He sent the message back eventually, “Never.”

“Gut. Wie wäre es mit Mittagessen?” The next reply came promptly, “I’m hungry.”

Frumpkin had lifted his head, looking back at him from his spot on the desk, and he only nodded, watching as she cat poofed itself out of existence.

“Of course. I’ll meet you outside in five.”

Chapter Text

Jester wasn’t sure how long she had been running, only that she hadn’t been paying attention to where she was going at all. All the buildings began looking the same after a while, her vision blurring as she fought off the tears, and it wasn’t until she was out of breath that she stopped, noticing that she had run all the way to the outskirts of the city.

It would be easy to leave, to run away to a place where no one could find her. She had done it before, ran from her problems, but the thing was: where was she supposed to run here? The problems she had weren’t going to solve themselves, so she would either have to find a solution, or return to a world where Caleb wasn’t alive anymore, and the thought alone was enough to fill her eyes with tears once more.

The last time she had left Nicodranas, Jester had done it to protect her mother, but this time around it would have been out of purely selfish reasons. She would be leaving Essek behind, and Yasha, and the rest of her friends in her own timeline, who were fighting to close rifts that Jester had caused, the friends who were counting on her to return.

She found herself wiping at her eyes then, barely managing to step out of the way of a group of people that had just entered the city, laughing and chatting as they did so. She remembered the first time they had approached Rexxentrum, and while it had been a less than happy occasion, she still remembered the way she had taken Caleb’s hand and the small smile on his face.

Hey. We’re here with you. 

Blinking the tears away once more, Jester shook her head, before turning on her heels to march back into the city she had just been trying to escape. They hadn’t given up when they had been looking for Yasha, and they hadn’t given up when helping Caduceus to save his home, they had never even once thought about abandoning Fjord during his troubled times, and if her friends were still out there fighting, then Jester could do the same.

-

It took her a little while to make it back to the Inn they had been staying at, and it hadn’t really helped that Jester hadn’t put much effort into remembering the name in the first place. There were a lot of Inns in this city, and even though the fancier ones were contained to a certain part of the city, it still took her about an hour detour to find the right place.

She briefly wondered whether Essek and Yasha were back from their fact-finding mission or not, when she stepped into the foyer, hearing a  familiar voice echoing through the room.

“Listen, Lady. I came all the way from a tiny town you’ve probably never even heard of, and it wasn’t exactly easy, or cheap, and I really just need you to tell me if this person is staying here. And don’t tell me you’re not allowed to, because you have to ‘protect your guests’, because I know for a fact that most of them are stuck up assholes.”

“Miss, I really need to... “ The woman behind the counter was clearly trying to hide her annoyed expression, but Jester couldn’t care less. Her eyes widened at the familiar voice, and sight, of the woman she was talking to, who was barely able to look over the counter, though she didn’t seem fazed by that at all.

“Veth!” Jester seemed to have made it a habit of hugging people she was well aware didn’t know who she was, but it didn’t stop her from dropping down to her knees, arms wrapping around a seemingly surprised, but apparently also relieved, Veth Brenatto.

“Found her, apparently. No thanks to you though.” She called over her shoulder, arms wrapped around Jester, despite the strange circumstances. “Alright, now what the hell is going on here?”

-

By the time Essek returned to the Inn, he was surprised to not only find Jester and Yasha in their room but also Veth. It took him a moment to assess the situation, and to realize that he was seeing the Veth from this universe, who clearly hadn’t undergone the transformation into a goblin. He wouldn’t have put it past their Veth, however, to have found a way to join them in this timeline.

“Right, so that’s the fancy wizard who’s helping us? Not the one you’re in love with?” She asked, and Essek blinked, the corners of his lips turning upwards almost involuntarily.

Of course. He was aware that the real Veth, or the one from their timeline anyway, and him hadn’t always seen eye to eye, but if there was anyone who could get Jester motivated, and maybe give a different perspective on things, then it was the Halfling woman Essek knew was regarded by Jester as her best friend.

There had been a moment, during their travels, when they had all sat around a fire, exhausted and barely able to keep awake after closing yet another rift, when Veth had grabbed him by the shoulders and made him promise to return with Jester, no matter what. She had babbled on about a Detective Agency they needed to open, and Essek had seen the tears in her eyes, the way she was terrified of losing yet another friend.

I can’t lose her either. He had thought, but only nodded in response, because he knew a thing or two about broken promises, and how they could hurt worse than any loss ever could.

“Yeah, ja, that’s Essek!” Jester pulled him back from the memory replaying in his head and Essek closed the door behind himself, nodding. “Sorry, I didn’t tell you about telling Veth, but...I had only just met you again, and I just...I needed...”

“Don’t worry about it, Jester.” He offered her a smile as he settled down into the chair next to Yasha, who had been quietly observing the whole scene. “The more the merrier, I think is how the saying goes?”

Truth be told: Essek wasn’t sure if Veth could be of any help, but she seemed to have lifted Jester’s mood a little, especially after what he assumed had been a harrowing experience at the Academy.

“Exactly!” She nodded, reaching for the bowl that was resting on the bedside table. “Do you want some soup? Veth got it from downstairs, it’s not quite as good as the one the cats make, but it’s something!”

“You know cats that cook?” Veth asked from her spot on the bed, one eyebrow raised.

“Oh, I guess I didn’t get to that part of the story yet, huh?”

-

Essek felt like he was floating. It was not the usual kind of floating though, the one he was used to, but instead it felt like he was stuck in an infinite void, doomed to stay like this for all eternity. It was a dream he’s had before, though it felt heavier this time around, harder to get ahold of. It wasn’t helping that he technically didn’t dream, or even needed sleep. Something, whether it was the universe or his own subconscious, was trying to tell him something, and yet he hadn’t managed to figure out what it was.

Usually, when he found himself in this dream, which had started shortly after their fight with Lucien and Jester’s disappearance,  Essek was unable to do anything other than to take it all in. To feel the vast emptiness around him until he awoke, but something was different this time.

He blinked, attempting to make sense of what was different, but he couldn’t quite grasp it. It felt like it was right there, just at the edge of his conscious, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get it right.

His meeting with Dairon hadn’t really brought him any closer to finding a solution for their problem, because while the other had a vast knowledge of Xhorhas and some of the political going-ons there, she knew next to nothing about time travel. Essek hadn’t expected her to, and yet he had held on to hope, against all odds.

He blinked then, and suddenly he could feel the familiar ways of his magic coursing through his veins, and when Essek looked down, he could see the blue and purple energy gathered in his hand.

Had he even spoken the words for the spell at all?

Essek frowned, and when he looked up again, a familiar face was staring at him, eyes wide with shock.

‘Jester!’ The word formed in his head, a name so familiar to him that he had said it a thousand times, and yet no sound was coming from his mouth. Instead, he watched his own hand stretched out, the gathered energy releasing, and Essek, paralyzed, and  unable to stop it.

-

Jester awoke with a start.

There was the somewhat of a familiar poofing sound from somewhere within the room, but she was too distracted by her own racing heart and the way she had to remind herself to breathe, that she didn’t pay any attention to it.

The room was still dark, what little moonlight was still there falling into the room and illuminating Essek’s features when their eyes met across the room.

That couldn’t be, right? Essek was her friend, and despite what he had done in his past, he’d never actually hurt Jester. He simply wouldn’t.

She was still breathing hard, forcing herself to swallow down the panic that was threatening to overtake. She was fine, everything was fine, it had to be, right?

When her eyes met with Essek’s again however, she could see the panic in them, mirroring her own, as he desperately tried to slip his mask back into place. Jester had seen it so many times that she instantly knew that something was wrong. That she hadn’t been the only one to see what she had seen.
Reaching up to place a hand firmly against her chest, the phantom pain seemingly still there, she flinched when Essek suddenly moved, getting up from his chair.

He froze for a brief moment, a pain expression grazing his face, before he shook it off. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go.” He muttered, and with that he was gone and out of the door.

Jester wanted to follow him, afraid he was going to be gone for good if she didn’t, but her body wouldn’t listen to her, so she stayed frozen in place, trying to blink away the tears that were threatening to fall.

Next to her, Veth began stirring in the bed, stifling a yawn as she sat up. “Is it time for breakfast yet?”

-

Essek very nearly stumbled over his own feet as he headed down the stairs, briefly considering just teleporting away, but he wouldn’t, couldn’t, waste a spell, not when he had no idea what was going on, and besides: He didn’t quite trust his own magic. It was a terrible feeling, one he had felt before and sworn he never would again, and yet here he was, doubting not only his own abilities, but four years of research and four years of fighting to find Jester, of moving from timeline to timeline, always careful to stay in the shadows so he wouldn’t cause any disruption.

Shadowhand had been his tittle, sure, and yet Essek couldn’t put into words just how much he had hated it.

“It was just a dream...” He muttered to himself as he stepped out into the empty street, but even the fresh air did little to calm down his worries.

It was just a dream. And while that might have been true, there was one essential problem with the way he was trying to calm himself down: Essek rarely ever dreamt at all, and the way his heart clenched at the thought of what he had seen told him that they were in more trouble than he had thought, and he wasn’t even entirely sure how that was possible.

Chapter Text

“So you think he’s going to try and murder you? I mean, I’m not going to lie, he looks a little shady to me.” Veth told her over breakfast the next morning. Jester hadn’t been able to go back to sleep, especially not with Essek disappearing and not having returned yet.

“He would never, ever hurt me, Veth.” And while Jester firmly believed in her own words, she couldn’t help but shake the strange feeling that still occupied her chest.

Essek and her had been through so much together in the short time they had known each other, and he had spent the better part of the last few years looking for her, so there was no reason for him to hurt her, right?

“From...what you’re saying, it seems like he was just as shaken up as you were, yeah?” It was the first time Yasha had said anything this morning and Jester nodded, bottom lip pulled between her teeth.

“Yes! I mean, he might pretend like everything is fine, but he worries just as much about things, you know?” Jester had always seen right through Essek, not unlike she had been able to see past Caleb’s walls the moment they had met, and now they were all stuck in this mess somehow, and she was running out of options to fix it.

“I’m going to go look for him,” Yasha eventually continued, grabbing another piece of the bacon from her plate as she stood. “You guys...try and figure out how to solve this other problem. I’m afraid I’m not very good at magic at all, so I won’t be of much help there.”

Jester held back a sigh, biting down on her lip a little harder as she nodded.

“Thank you, Yasha.” She then muttered, attempting a smile as the other woman made her way out of the inn, leaving them behind.

“I mean, that’s all good, but if you want me to take him out, I can.” Veth eventually spoke up, and Jester couldn’t help but laugh. “Just say the word.”

“I’ve missed you,” She then whispered, knowing full well that she was being silly, because the Veth in this universe knew nothing about her, other than what she had told her. Still, it was a very Veth thing to do, to still come to her aid, and Jester wondered if friendship was something that translated across time. Maybe deep down somewhere, both Veth and Yasha did feel the connection they’ve all had in a different timeline, maybe parts of them were still searching for her, even across time.

-

There wasn’t much she could do other than wait or go out and look for Essek herself. Truth be told: She had exhausted pretty much all her options, and without him she had no idea what else to do, and besides: Jester worried about him. Despite the strange way the dream had left her feeling, he had looked just as terrified as her, and the thought of him wandering around the city all by himself made her heart grow heavy.

He had risked his life for them in Aeor, and despite what he might have thought: Essek was a good person with a kind heart, and Jester wished that she could tell him as much.

“Why don’t you go back to the inn? I’m going to get us some pastries. There’s this really great bakery just down the street.” She watched as Veth’s eyebrows shot up, but she didn’t say anything there and then, simply nodding as their ways parted for the moment.

Jester wasn’t really hungry, but the thought of getting to buy some pastries, even if it was just to have them, seemed comforting to her. Most of her happy memories involved some kind of pastry, and she hated the fact that they were now also overshadowed by pain and fear.

What would she have given for one of the cat-made pies in the tower? She could hear Caleb’s voice, telling her he had ‘’made a little bit of everything’, simply because she liked so much and wanted it all at the same time. Now, however, there wasn’t anything that Jester wanted more than Caleb, her Caleb, who had always been kind and soft towards her, had indulged her and created wonderful spells for her and, quite literally, given her the moon.

“Maybe they have some blueberry cupcakes...” She tried her best to ignore the way her chest tightened at the thought of him, and of course she failed spectacularly.

Caleb would have known what to do. And even if he didn’t, then he would have still found a way to fix this, but Jester? Jester was way out of her depths here.

She hadn’t been paying too much attention to her surroundings, so when the hooded figure stepped out of the alleyway, she very nearly screamed. Instead, she opted for punching though, but her fist hit nothing but hard muscle.

“Holy shit, ouch!” Jester exclaimed, and it took her a moment to realize that she wasn’t actually being attacked. The figure had its arms crossed and when the hood fell back eventually, a familiar face easily showed itself to her. “Jeez, Wulf. I could have like, killed you!”
The expression on his face was one of intrigue as he uncrossed his arms, eyes never leaving her. “Bren was right, you are a curious one.”

The mention of Caleb’s old name made Jester’s stomach drop, and she couldn’t help the frown that made its way onto her face. “Yeah well next time, maybe don’t scare the hell out of me, okay?” She deflected, her own arms now crossing in front of her chest.

“That was not my intention. I apologize,” Wulf nodded, before pulling out an envelope from inside his cloak, handing it over. “I have been...tasked to deliver this to you. I am beginning to think I should have asked for compensation though, you do have a mean punch.”

Taking the letter, Jester couldn’t quite help the smile that formed on her lips. “Yeah well, you should be glad I didn’t like...chop your arm off with my axe.”

“That would have been unfortunate.” She gave him a smile, which faltered only a little when Jester found her own name written on the envelope, in a handwriting that was so distinctively Caleb’s that she had to bite her lip to keep her eyes from filling with tears instantly.

Her fingers ran over the paper, and she thought about tearing it open right there and then, but that was probably a bad idea considering the way her stomach was beginning to twist already. “Did he...” She began, glancing up to talk to Wulf once more, but when Jester looked around, the alley was already empty.

-

By the time she made it back to the inn, Veth was sitting on the bed, one eyebrow raised when Jester returned empty handed. Or well, without the pastries anyway. There was no sign of Yasha and Essek and it took all of Jester’s willpower not to simply curl up and pull a blanket over her head, shutting out all of her problems like she had done so many times when growing up. It was easy though, when they were contained to the walls of the Lavish Chateau. This? It was so much bigger than that, so much bigger than her.

It wasn’t until Veth’s voice crept back into her conscious that Jester looked up again, finding that they weren’t alone anymore. Yasha had returned, and so had Essek, though he kept his distance, instead staying over by the door. Jester felt her chest tightening ever so slightly, torn between wanting to hug him and staying away, because he was clearly uncomfortable.

“Uh...Veth? Could you help me with something outside?” Yasha eventually piped up, pointing back over her shoulder and out into the corridor. “It’s very urgent,”

Veth’s eyebrows were raised, but she jumped off the bed regardless, poking Essek’s thigh as she stepped past him. “If you hurt her then I’m going to chop you up into tiny little pieces, powerful wizard or not,”

Jester felt the iron grip on her chest loosen at the other woman’s words, because the truth was: they technically didn’t know each other. Jester knew a version of Veth, and Veth had only just met her, and yet the other woman seemed to be protective of her, maybe some things really did translate across different timelines.

“Jester.” Essek finally spoke the moment the door had closed. “I...want you to know that I could never hurt you. You know I’m...not a good man, but I care for you. For all of you, and I would never...”

“Oh Essek!” She didn’t even let him finish, instead hopping off the bed as she threw her arms around him in a tight hug. “You sound like Caleb!” She could feel him tense up in her arms, but then relax, his own arms coming to wrap around her. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me...but...that was weird, right?” She pulled back eventually, glancing up at him.

“It was...interesting, to say the least. I...don’t dream very often, and I’ve spent most of the day trying to make sense of it. It’s like this dream is trying to tell me something, but I can’t quite...how do you say? Put the puzzle pieces together,”

Jester sighed, bottom lip pulled between her lips as she glanced back towards the nightstand, where the letter had been resting, unopened still. “Wulf gave it to me. He was being very sneaky, nearly gave me a heart attack.” She muttered as she noticed Essek’s gaze following her own. “I don’t know what’s inside. Maybe it can help?”

She had tried opening it, had even wanted to badly before she had made it back to the inn and had been able to really think about it. Her name had been written on the front in Caleb’s handwriting though, and it had been enough to bring the tears back to Jester’s eyes. ”Could you read it? You know, unless it’s like...something super dirty, then maybe stop.” She had gone back to deflecting, gaze dropping, but Essek didn’t call her out on it. Instead, he moved towards the bed while Jester curled up in the chair across the room, pulling out her sketch book.

It was filled with sketches of the Mighty Nein and people they had met along the way, things they had seen, and it made her feel like the life she had lived belonged to someone entirely different.

-

“I’m going to look for some pearls.” Jester watched as Caleb stripped himself off his clothes and easily stepped into the pool of water. He had never been shy about taking his clothes off, but she felt like she had been less inclined to look before.

He was attractive though, there was no denying that, and over these past couple of months he had gained some muscle and weight, and it suited him well.

“I’ll help!” She managed to snap out of it, her heart stumbling strangely in her chest as she shed her own clothes to follow him inside. She was momentarily distracted by the sun shining through the surface and painting everything beneath the water in pretty colors, but when Caleb came into view, holding up one of the pearls he had already found, Jester smiled, nearly forgetting she couldn’t breathe under water.

Right. She was supposed to help find pearls! With her lips curved into a smile, she waved at Caleb, giving him a thumbs up, all the while reveling in the warm feeling that was spreading from her chest through her entire body.

Jester was easily distracted, but she figured there were worse things to be distracted by than Caleb and pretty pearls.

-

“The pearls!” Jester very nearly dropped her sketch book, eyes shooting up to meet Essek’s across the room.

“I think I figured it out!” Their words matched each other, and they both fell silent for a moment, before Jester scrambled out of the chair and towards the bed. She only found herself stopping when her brain caught up with her feet and she noticed that Essek looked anything but enthusiastic.

“I...figured it out.” Jester glanced down at the letter in his hand, and it took her another moment to realize that his hands were shaking. “And...I’m afraid you’re not going to like it.”

Chapter Text

“Wait, what do you mean I won’t like it?” Jester blinked, shaking her head, the letter in her friend’s hand momentarily forgotten. Essek looked like he was debating whether to stay and tell the truth, or run away as fast as he could, so Jester stepped closer, leaning down to rest her hands on his shoulders. “You have to tell me the truth, Essek.”

She didn’t like the implications in the tone of his voice, but part of her was still holding on to hope of her own discovery. They could fix this, they simply had to! They had gone through so much already, and fought so hard to be here, they’d be able to go the last step, whatever it was, to get Caleb back!

“You go first.” Essek held back a sigh, turning his head to nod towards the letter that Jester had dropped into his lap just a few minutes ago. “This...well, like I said, you’re not going to like it.”

Jester ignored the way her stomach twisted just a little, telling herself that they’d be fine. There were a lot of things she didn’t like, for example alcohol, but if she had to drink a huge glass of ale for Caleb to come back to her, then she would. She’d even read the most boring book there was if it only meant that she could wrap her arms around him again.

That she could...

“Right. So. I was thinking about spells and all that, right? And I’ve been having these...dreams? I don’t know, I’ve been thinking about Caleb a lot, and you know the pearls you guys always use for time magic?” Truth be told Jester didn’t know a lot about the magic that Essek and Caleb were weaving with their fingers, but she knew that, even though they made it look so easy, it was complicated beyond belief.

Not that Jester couldn’t learn it if she tried really hard, but there had never been a need for it, Caleb had always been there. Caleb had always known what to do.

She swallowed around the lump in her throat, shaking her head. “So, I thought that, you could do that fancy spell with the pearl, that gives me a chance to redo something? And when you bring me back to that point in time, instead of using a healing spell, I will just fire at Lucien! You know, because we know he’s almost dead anyway! And then Caleb won’t even have a chance to do anything stupid!”

Essek blinked up at her, and for a moment Jester was sure that she had said something stupid. It had all made sense in her head, but maybe it wasn’t a good plan after all, maybe...

“That makes sense, yes.” Essek’s voice pulled her from her spiraling thoughts and Jester’s face lit up immediately.

“See? We can fix this! Now you only need to like, open up a portal that can get us back to that exact same point in time!” She wasn’t exactly looking forward to reliving the fight with Lucien, but she’d do it if it meant that they’d get Caleb back, and with a little lucky, literally, they wouldn’t have to watch him die again.

“I’m afraid...it’s not that easy.” Essek continued, and Jester’s stomach dropped again, as she reached down to grab the letter from his hands. She could feel herself getting frustrated, like they had come this far, and yet something was wrong still, there was always something!

Her eyes flew over the lines, reading every single one of them twice, and yet they weren’t making much sense to her.

Dear Miss Lavorre,

I have inquired about your special, although of course completely hypothetical, situation, and have concluded that there’s one single problem that propels itself to the center of this whole hypothetical mess.

Time travel can be a fickle thing, as I have heard, with thousands of timelines and universes existing peacefully alongside each other, as long as they’re not disturbed. If such a disturbance occurs, however, time and space can easily unravel, and only be disbanded by erasing the timeline that was newly created from existence.

Now, you might wonder how to exactly accomplish that, and I’m afraid that all theories on that are hypothetical, much like this whole situation, but one would think that complete and utter erasure encompasses everything and everyone, would you not?

Wherever your way leads you, I wish you all the best.

May you always find your way home, because after all:

Zuhause liegt im Herzen.

Bren Aldric Ermendrud,

Headmaster of the Soltryce Academy

Jester stared at the letter, blinking and reading it again, though her eyes got stuck on the last line again and again. “Home is where the heart is...” She muttered, eventually looking up to meet Essek’s eyes. He was watching her, his whole body tense, as if he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but Jester couldn’t make sense of Caleb’s, Bren’s, words. What was so bad about destroying this timeline? Surely, she’d feel sad about Yasha and Molly, and all the other people, but technically they weren’t even real, right? If she understood correctly, then the world didn’t exist beyond what she knew about it, a little like the faceless people they had encountered in the floating city. Everything here was a figment of Jester’s imagination. Well, everything but Essek and her.

“Jester.” His voice carried as much tension as the rest of his body, and it was beginning to get frustrating.

“What? Can you not bring us back to that point in time?” She asked, resisting the urge to stomp her feet. Essek was the most powerful wizard she knew, aside from Caleb of course, and if he didn’t know how to do this, then they’d have to find a different way, no matter how hard it would be.

“I’ve had...a lot of time to do my research and practice, and I do know how to get back to our timeline, even how to get us back to a certain moment in time.”

“Then why aren’t you doing it?” Jester asked again, the frustration now clearly audible in her voice. She couldn’t think of a single reason why Essek would hesitate to do this, to help them get back to their friends. It felt like she was missing something, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was.

Biting her bottom lip, Jester found herself fighting the tears that were stinging in her eyes all of a sudden. “I know I’ve asked for a lot of stupid things, Essek.” She then continued, “but...but this isn’t stupid! Caleb deserves a chance to get better. He deserves a chance to get closure and to be loved! And the fact that he was willing to sacrifice himself for us only proves that, right?”

“Jester.” There was a hand on her shoulder all of a sudden, warm and almost comforting, and for a moment she thought it was Yasha, but then the flash of red hair appeared within the corner of her eye, and Jester almost deflated, all the anger and frustration melting from her body.

“Arty, can you help me? I don’t...” I don’t understand any of this. Nothing makes sense anymore. I want Caleb back. Please.

She’d been fighting this battle for so long now, and she was getting tired. It would have been so easy to curl up on the bed, to pretend like everything was fine, but the truth was: nothing was fine. She was tired, despite having slept, and it felt like the tiredness had crept into her bones, making it hard to even stay upright anymore.

“Everything has to be destroyed, Jester.” He finally said, and his voice carried what as almost a hint of sadness and pain. “Remember what he told you about the anomalies showing up in Exandria?”

“The...the tears in the universe?” She muttered, sniffling as she reached up to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Exactly.” Essek continued, and when she looked up, Jester could see him fiddling with a pearl he must have pulled from his pocket. “If...this dimension continues to exist, then these tears are going to continue to appear, threatening the existence of the world as we know it. We’ll never be able to close them all, not if new ones keep forming.”

Jester frowned, looking between both of her friends. “So we just...destroy this world.” She watched as Essek stood, smoothing out his coat, before pressing the pearl against her forehead, muttering a few words. It was reminiscent of Caleb and whenever he’d done it, but somehow this time around, Jester didn’t feel lucky, instead she felt...afraid for some reason.

The room was silent for a long moment before the shoe finally dropped, so to speak.

“I created this world.” She then muttered, a coldness gripping her chest and holding on tightly. “So...I have to be destroyed for it to be completely gone.”

The room fell silent again, as if everyone was holding their breath, waiting for the collapse, or the tears to come, but nothing happened, so after a while, Essek began to speak once more.

“It’s...the reason I’ve been dreaming about it, I think. Believe me, hurting you is the last thing I want to do, Jester.” There was an almost pleading look in his eyes, “But...if you are destroyed, so to speak, then then whole world will collapse in itself, and you will be sent home, and with the right math and magic, we will be pulled back to just the right moment for you to change the story.”

Jester bit her lip, attempting a somewhat smile as she reached out to rest her hand against Essek’s cheek. “It’s okay, you know?” There were tears shimmering in her eyes, but if she was scared, then it wasn’t showing. “I won’t be mad at you or anything, I promise, and this is to get Caleb back, right? We both want that.”

Essek’s expression had gone from somewhat pleading to pained, and Jester felt her chest tighten once more. For her this was easy, right? All she had to do was die, but Essek? Essek would have to kill her.

“Jester.” He sighed, leaning in to press his forehead against hers for a brief moment. “I’m...” There were no words to express how he was feeling, so instead he stepped back, beginning to wave his hands through the air, his head doing the calculations they’d be needing to get back to just the right point in time. It would be a challenge, but at least Essek would be able to use his powers for something good, if one looked at the greater picture of it all at least.

Wrapping her hand around the amulet around her neck, which was so similar to the one Caleb was always wearing, Jester took a deep breath as she watched Essek mumble words under his breath that she couldn’t understand.

“Just...give me a moment, yeah?” She then told him, turning around to find Yasha, who had stepped outside with Veth, because even though she was going to go back to her own version of the woman, she had grown fond of this one, as well. “Yasha, I’m sorry. I hope you still...” that was as far as Jester managed to get when Yasha appeared in front of her, much closer than she had anticipated. A sharp pain hit her all of a sudden, spreading from her abdomen through her entire body, and when Jester looked down, she could see where the other woman’s sword had pierced right through her.

“Do it now!” Yasha called, and Jester vaguely registered that she was speaking to Essek over her shoulder, before the other woman’s eyes focused back on her. Everything was a little hazy, and she very nearly attempted a healing spell, when arms suddenly wrapped around her from behind, Artagan’s familiar presence comforting as he kept her still. “It’s going to be okay.” He whispered, and Jester could only nod.

“Good luck!” Yasha’s words were the last thing she heard, her eyes only briefly catching sight of Veth in the doorway, before the darkness took hold of her, freeing her from the pain, but clouding her mind with fear and uncertainty instead.

Chapter Text

There was nothing but darkness surrounding her, and during the initial fall, Jester had found herself screaming, mouth wide open, but no sound had come from her lips.

It still felt like she was falling, but the fear of hitting the ground inevitably was replaced by a pain that seemed to be ingrained into her bones. She couldn’t quite put her finger on where it had started, but suddenly Jester felt like she was aching all over. It felt like being pulled into a hundred different directions, and while that was fine for a teleport spell, this felt like it was never going to stop, with the only logical conclusion being that it would be tearing her apart eventually.

It took her a moment to remember what was happening, and how she had gotten here in the first place. It didn’t help that she could have been falling forever, stuck in this weird limbo of time until she was eventually forgotten about by everyone she had ever known. Or maybe they’d still be out there looking for her, while Jester was falling, screaming for them to please find her.

She felt her stomach tighten at the thought, attempting to push it away, but she stood no chance to. She couldn’t simply make a joke or divert from her feelings, because there was nowhere to go, and Jester wasn’t entirely sure what to make of that. She was alone with her thoughts, and they hadn’t always been kind to her.

There was the flash of a memory then, Caleb’s hand in hers, and the way he smiled, lips curved just slightly upwards, his expression soft, especially when he had thought she wasn’t looking.

It had been one of Jester’s favorite things, and she wished that she would have known what it meant sooner. Wished that she could have taken more of Caleb’s pain away so he would have felt more confident about telling her about how he felt. Wished...there was a voice all of a sudden, and Jester very nearly startled, gasping for air, like she had needed to remind herself to breathe.

“Well, this has been fun.” Artagan’s voice sounded almost too loud after the almost deafening silence, and Jester could feel arms encompassing her. “Let’s never do it again, yeah?”

Before she could even reply, however, there was a flash of bright light, and then Jester could feel solid ground beneath her feet. Blinking her eyes open, everything seemed a little too bright, but she caught sight of another version of herself just off to her left, an image that flickered out of existence within seconds of her arrival. She briefly wondered if anyone had even noticed, but ultimately it didn’t matter.

She could still feel her whole body aching, and when she glanced down, she could see the cuts and bruises from the fight on her arms. There were the beginnings of a spell too, warmth flowing through her, and Jester almost found herself giving in, chasing the healing she knew she had within her, but then her eyes found Essek’s across the battlefield, barely able to stand upright, but there was nothing but determination in his eyes.

“Caleb!” Jester’s voice rang out, attention shifting, and she barely managed to reach into her pocket, nearly crushing the pearl Essek had given her in her grasp from holding onto it so tightly.

Please work. Please work. Please work. She repeated the words over and over again in her head, and it took her a moment to realize that the warmth had vanished. Glancing down, the pearl in Jester’s hand had gone dull, finally allowing her to focus on Lucien, or whatever was left of him.

She could feel her chest tightening at the thought of what had once been Molly, and maybe she would have hesitated before, but her eyes found the rest of her friends, blood smeared across their face, some not even standing anymore, and Jester could feel anger beginning to boil deep within her chest.

Whatever part of Molly was still in there hadn’t been enough to keep him from hurting the people he had once considered friends, and while Lucien had left his friends to die, Molly would have never done the same thing, would have never subjected Jester to the pain she had gone through, watching all of her friends not remember the time they had spent together, watching Caleb be with someone else.

Before it had all happened, Jester had thought she’d be content just being friends with Caleb, to have him by her side no matter what, but that wasn’t true. She had always loved truly and wholly, even if she might not have known what it meant, and if Caleb wanted to be hers, and she wanted to be his, then they should have gotten a fair shot at that.

Caleb had turned his head towards her at the sound of his name, and Jester felt her stomach drop, the intent in his eyes clear now that she knew what was coming as fear threatening to overwhelm her.

No. Not again! With her hands outstretched, she focused all the energy she could muster, all the coiled-up anger inside her chest directed at one focal point, and one only.

“You got this.” Artagan’s voice was back again, but this time it didn’t startle her. Instead, the hands that seemed to wrap around hers, were warm and firm, and for a moment it felt like coming home.

“You don’t get to hurt my friends anymore!” Her voice was loud as it echoed across the battlefield, “You don’t get to take Caleb from me!” The words might not have made sense to anyone but her, and Essek, but it didn’t matter. They were all it took for the burst of radiant energy to release from her hands, almost too blindingly bright, and yet Jester kept her eyes open, watching as the grin on Lucien’s face froze just before it hit him.

It was all she had left, all she could do, and yet she somehow knew that it was going to be enough. She could feel her legs trembling, held up only by the support that was Artagan behind her, and then everything went eerily quiet.

It took Jester a moment to realize that the spell had faded, her hands still outstretched, chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Holy fuck, Jester.” Beau’s voice broke the silence, and when she was finally able to focus again, her eyes caught sight of Lucien’s lifeless body on the ground.

“Go on.” Artagan’s voice was much softer now, and Jester blinked again, her attention once again drawn into a different direction. Caleb stood close by, staff still in hand, like he hadn’t quite realized what had happened, his whole body seemingly on high alert still, and Jester finally managed to shake herself out of her stupor, running to close the distance between them.

She nearly stumbled at least twice before making it there, arms wrapping around Caleb and nearly knocking them both to the ground. It felt as if all the tension had finally melted from her body as she buried her face against his chest, all her resistances crumbling the moment his arms came to wrap around her too.

The sob that was drawn from Jester’s own chest involuntarily nearly startled her, only vaguely muffled by the way she was still pressed against him. “Don’t ever do that again!” She could feel her fists pounding against his chest, and it drew a groan from Caleb, which was enough for Jester to eventually stop and pull back.

Her vision was a little blurry, but she could still see his face, feeling the way his hand came up to brush against her cheek. “I think...I broke some ribs,” He muttered, but his expression was soft now that she had blinked most of the tears away. “Jester...are you okay? What...happened?”

There was no good answer to that question, not without sounding like a mad woman, so instead of saying anything, Jester pressed her hands against his chest, the beating of his heart strong beneath them, before her healing magic flowed through him. It wasn’t much, but it would be enough to take away the initial pain.

“I’m sorry. I’m...I just...” Jester sniffled, wiping at her cheeks with her sleeve. “I just...I love you, okay? And I know you love me too, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, I was being stupid, because I didn’t actually know what I felt was love, but...” She felt his hand against her cheek once more, and when she looked up, Caleb’s expression was one of surprise.

“Jester...” He then muttered, and it took her a moment to realize that he was trying to blink his own tears away.

“You don’t have to say it now, but I know it’s true, and it’s okay. It’s great.” There was an attempt of a smile there, “But...I also know what stupid thing you were going to do, and you’re going to have to promise me to never, ever, ever even think about doing that again, okay? Because I need you. And I love you. And I want to go on adventures with you, and then, when we want to, we can get a house and a bunch of animals, and we can live a nice, and quiet life, okay?”

She was almost breathless by the time she had stopped talking, her eyes finding Caleb’s again. The tears were threatening to spill over, but this time around he didn’t seem to be fighting them, so Jester watched as they fell onto his cheeks, her first instinct being to wipe them away, but she didn’t quite get there, because Caleb had leaned down, pressing his lips to hers.

It was unlike anything she had ever felt before, like something was finally falling into place within her, a missing puzzle piece that had found its place, accompanied by a warmth that filled her entire body, a little like her magic, but different still. She couldn’t really find the words to describe it, but maybe she didn’t need to, either.

“I love you too.” Caleb finally muttered when they pulled apart, and Jester was almost afraid that her heart was going to beat right out of her chest. “Do you...want to talk about...this?” He then added, and Jester turned to glance over her shoulder, briefly finding Essek’s eyes. He was smiling, simply giving her a nod, and Jester felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders.

They were all going to be okay.

Her gaze drifted over to Caduceus then, who was helping Fjord and Veth to their feet, and then to Yasha, who had her arms wrapped around Beau, who was calling over to them.

“Get a room, you two!” Her face was bloodied and bruised, much and Jester was sure that they all looked just the same, but she was grinning still.

“Maybe not here though? Please?” Fjord suggested and Jester felt laughter bubbling up in her chest. It didn’t matter what she had been through, not now anyway, what mattered was that they were all together again.

“Maybe someday.” She finally said, attention returning to Caleb. Her lips easily curved into a smile as she slid her hand into his just a moment later. “Right now, I just...want to go home.”

“That I can do.” Caleb whispered, reaching up to bring her hand to his lips, before pressing a kiss to the back of it.

“I never doubted that.” Jester replied, the smile on her lips softening as she leaned against him.

A memory of Rumblecusp flashed before her eyes then, a conversation they’ve had what now felt like a lifetime ago. She had dreamed of it a lot lately, but this time, with Caleb finally by her side once more, squeezing her hand as their friends gathered around them, it didn’t hurt. How could it?

You’re our home, at least mine.