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Asmo’s Vanity
K
Here I was, at yet another party Lord Diavolo decided to throw at The Fall. Loud pop music rattled my eardrums as the strobe lights flashed making me dizzy. Don’t get me wrong now, I like parties, but parties like this was just an obvious popularity contest, it was like these primped and pretty demons were spending more time showing off than anything else, and Lord forbid someone’s showed them up or wore the same outfit…it was disgusting to watch.
“Hey why do you look like that?” I was only here because Satan came, I had to admit he looked sexy tonight. I could suck it up for him.
“Just watching, it looks like I’m watching a nature documentary. Look, Balaam and Bast are so trying to impress Azazel right now with those dance moves.”
“Hmm and she looks like a Cheshire cat with that grin.”
“Knowing she isn’t going to dance with either of them, it’s stupid, this is all a giant popularity contest, it’s like high school all over again.” He chuckled and took my hand with a smile.
“Look at it this way, you get to drink, dance and enjoy the show, we are better than that anyway.” He always had a way to turn things around in situations like this.
“So how about you and I have the next-”
“HELLO MY DARLINGS!! I HAVE ARIVED, COME AND DANCE!!” Ugh…Asmodeus, he was the worst of them all. He strolled onto the dance floor in a glittering fuchsia pantsuit and stilettos heels; his hair was teased and sprayed back making him look like one of those twiggy models from the seventies or something. He even wore pink rhinestone shades inside, like who does that??
“Ha, Asmo’s fashionably late as usual.”
“I don’t see how you put up with that type of guy.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s…obnoxious!! He’s narcissistic, flashy, condescending and well…an attention whore!”
“You are friends with Lucifer, I don’t want to get in an argument about types of people.”
“We speak cordially, that’s different, you guys used to hang out on a regular basis! He’s constant high energy is so…draining!” A large crowd of wannabes and posers crowded the dancefloor as Asmo swayed and picked partner after partner to whisper to. Of the popularity contestants…he was the worst of them all.
“Yeah, we did, and honestly I regret that I haven’t made time for him lately, I’m worried about him.”
“Worried about him?!!” I turned to him sharply, unsure I even heard him right, but there he was, watching the scene like it was a sad movie.
“Yeah…I’m worried about him.”
“He looks like he has everything covered over there, I’m not worried.” Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t HATE Asmo, but we aren’t on friendly terms. He spent my whole first year hitting on me, offended that I wasn’t seeing to his advances. Yeah, I get he’s the avatar of lust and all, but when I was discovering my bisexuality, feeling incredibly insecure and depressed over shit, the very last thing I needed was for him to try to ‘help me figure it out’ without my consent.
“Look…there is a lot more to him than what you see over there. If you got to know him, you would see that.” If Satan would stand up for him like that, there had to be something deeper, not that I was going to approach the guy though.
“Yeah, I guess. Let’s go dance…over there.” He watched for another moment as his brother took everyone’s attention and turned with a smile, but this smile…seemed just a little forced. Now I was curious.
NEXT MORNING
“Ughh, my head is killin’ me!!” We all sat at breakfast a little hung over and I admit, I was feeling regret for all those shots too.
“Well Mammon that is what you get for drinking too much, LOL!”
“Yeah, the moron got so drunk, he tried to swing from the chandelier and fell, that’s not a hangover, that’s your brain trying to escape your stupidity!”
“Belph…not cool.” I looked over to Belphie who ducked his head and nodded.
“Sorry Mammon…I didn’t mean that.” Mammon blushed for just a second and then coughed and shoved a piece of toast in his mouth, talking with his mouth full.
“Bout time ya show The Great Mammon some respect around here! You should take over my chores to earn my forgiveness.”
“Well, we don’t have time for that guys, after school we have to practice, we have a gig in two weeks.” Our band was growing in it’s following, about twelve thousand, but it gave us a good bit of spending money to put away and we had a lot of fun.
“You guys heard the band leader; we got a gig! I can smell the grimm now, I been itchin’ to get new sticks for my drums anyway! Whatcha think of solid gold with my name on em?”
“Good way to say ‘here, rob me’ if you ask me.” We chuckled as we continued to eat and I noticed Satan picking at his food.
“You okay Babe?”
“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.”
“He’s worried he can’t hit the notes to that new song you got cookin’!” I knew that wouldn’t be it, but he didn’t argue it, he just went back to his train of thought.
“Will you lot be quiet? Honestly, we can’t get a single meal of peace around here.” Aww, Lucifer got a hangover, hehe, I knew how to lift Sae’s spirits.
“Oh…so sowwy Wucifer, we didn’t Wealize the poor baby had a headache. We will do better for him.” His scowl was enough to get Satan to snicker, and that was enough for me.
“Good morning Darlings…” Asmo came down with perfect hair, perfectly applied makeup and a smile. His uniform looking good as always, but he wore a new sash and shoes to go with his new bag.
“Asmo, that isn’t the proper uniform!”
“Come on now Lucifer, I cannot simply wear the same thing every day! What would my fans think of me if I showed up wearing the same thing the same way as everyone else?”
“Um…that you were in school…wearing a uniform?!” I couldn’t help but laugh, like is he for real? But instead of getting offended he bounded over and hugged me around my shoulders.
“Oh Kiki!! Good morning!”
“It was until you touched me…”
“Always so mean to me Kiki…why so cold?”
“For the millionth time, it’s Kio!”
“So, listen, I figured that you would need these, here. No need to thank me.” He put two pills in my hand, and I recognized them as those hangover pills the locals use.
“Yo Asmo, can you pass some of those this way?!”
“Sorry Mammon, that’s all I have left. Got to go, who wants to be lucky enough join my entourage to class today?”
“You aren’t going to eat?”
“Way too many calories, now any takers?!” My sister looked over to Lucifer before wiping her mouth and standing.
“I will go with you Asmo.”
“Rose, I knew you couldn’t resist being in my presence! You know I got a new conditioner in, I think it would really make that garnet hair of yours shine like the stars!” They left together and I felt…confused. I mean Asmo normally skips breakfast, but not after a night of partying; he would normally say he earned those eggs with all the dancing he did. And why would he change up his uniform now of all times? And then there were these pills, it wasn’t the first time I asked them of him, but this seemed strange. Being an empath, I can feel others’ emotions that are near me, and Asmo felt…desperate.
“Oh well, let’s get to school.” I couldn’t help but think about it all day, it just seemed…out of character for him. Yet as I walked the halls all day, he was surrounded by his fans, all wanting more of him and swooning and stuff. I had to admit, I liked when my groupies did that for me, but I don’t go out of my way to make them do so, it’s like the guy is always on and it irked me.
THAT EVENING
“You okay?” I looked up to see Levi, Mammon, Satan and Mammon all looking at me. Why do I keep thinking about this guy; I usually never gave a damn what he did with his life, but the way he had felt this morning…alarmed me.
“Yeah, I’m cool.” I listened to the melody I had written in my head and thought about what words to use for it that would work just right.
“Take it again from the top, the words are there but I just can’t…grab them!” Levi turned the knobs on the soundboard as Mammon began his beat, Belphie came in with the Bass and I listened as I plucked on my guitar and hummed.
“I dunno…dammit, it isn’t coming to me!” Satan put a hand on my shoulder with a soft smile.
“Well, we have plenty of other songs for the gig, so let’s just practice those.” I sighed and stood, just as the doors burst open.
“Hello!! There are my brothers, ooh are you guys getting close? Can I join?” He winked and it made me nauseous.
“No, we are practicing for our concert in a couple weeks, I’m trying to find words to this melody.” Asmo listened for a moment and began to hum.
“I’m addicted to the madness, your flesh is my oasis, we will never want this feeling to end, as long as I am breathing I have reason to sin.” He began to dance and though the words did fit the melody, it wasn’t the vibe I wanted, and I didn’t like how he barged in on our practice and took over without permission.
“Hey that aint bad.”
“I am not using those words! It doesn’t fit!”
“Well of course it doesn’t, not with the drab outfits you guys always wear. Why so many dark colors? Add some rhinestones, some color, some ribbons and skin for crying out loud!” His hands touched my waist and my hair stood on end as he whispered to me.
“You have a gorgeous body and you refuse to show it, not a gorgeous as mine of course…but I still can’t help but feel jealous.” I shoved him back ready to punch him before Satan grabbed me.
“Keep your hands off me!!” He chuckled a little before I saw his eyes…was…was he high??
“Come on Kiki, why do you always have to be so mean to me? I just want to help your band, you should let me dress you guys, you would look fabulous, always leather and torn jeans and chains, put some glitter in your life!
“We are not doing that!! This is a rock band, not some…stupid, disgusting, hedonistic orgy!” He gasped and I saw his eyes water just a little which made me feel like garbage.
“It’s not the vibe I’m going for, thank you, but no thank you, now please leave!” He turned and left with a pout and when I turned around the others were staring at me.
“What??”
“Yes it wasn’t the genre we were going for but did you have to behave that way towards him?” Satan’s words irritated me even worse, after that he was on his side?!
“Did he have to feel me up?!! Why didn’t you do anything, that was uncalled for!”
“I’m just saying you didn’t need to push him!”
“You’ve done more over less Mr. Avatar of Wrath, maybe someone’s being a hypocrite.” I saw the blood vessel in his forehead rise before he brushed by me out the door. Dammit…
“Umm…are we still practicing?” I left to my own room, ignoring them. Asmo ruined my mood to jam and now Satan was pissed at me, I was over this.
LATE THAT NIGHT
I laid awake in bed unable to get my thoughts together, what the heck has been going on and why do I keep thinking of Asmo?! Something about how he’s been acting towards me has been…off. He never comes in on one of our practices, he never offered to help before. He even gave me hangover meds, what if he was trying to get on good terms with me? Ugh what if he was trying to seduce me? But then he would be outright if that were the case, and then there was what he said to me… You have a gorgeous body and you refuse to show it, not a gorgeous as mine of course…but I still can’t help but feel jealous. He completely contradicted himself…he is always so self-absorbed that it makes me sick, but to hear him say he was jealous was…weird.
I got up to take a walk in the halls, trying to get this whole thing out of my head. Why did I care about Asmo all of a sudden? Why did these little things push their way to the front of my mind? I heard rattling in the kitchen and assumed Beel was having himself a 2a.m. snack and decided I would talk to him, but when I got there, I was shocked to see that it was Asmo!
He was sitting in front of the open fridge mesmerized before slowly reaching out and taking a cupcake in his hand. His hands shook as he took a finger and picked up just a little bit of frosting and took it to his mouth. Then he shoved the whole thing in his mouth, eating voraciously as he grabbed item after item and devoured it with a speed and ferocity that I had only seen from his younger brother. But unlike Beel, he stopped long before it was empty and trembled as he hugged himself. A wave of despair and disgust hit me like as he sobbed and it only made me all the more confused. I stood in the doorway frozen as he berated himself and in a flash he stood and ran out the other door to the stairs. I wanted to go back to my room, I wanted to forget what I saw, but that emotion, that anguish pulled me to follow him until I crept to his private bathroom where I heard him vomiting.
“Oh shit Asmo…” I pushed the door open and watched as he stood before his toilet bent all the way over as he shoved his fingers down his throat to make himself gag again. What the hell do I do…I couldn’t just speak and scare the hell out of him, but I can’t just walk away knowing this now!
He dry-heaved a few more times and flushed, he then grabbed some supplies to clean up when he spotted me in another mirror and turned with a gasp.
“Oh!! Kiki…what are you doing up?”
“I…”
“Did you find the urge to visit me too irresistible? Is my brother not meeting your needs? I’m sorry I’m such a mess right now, maybe you can give me just a few minutes to freshen up and we can snuggle close.” I wasn’t sure if he really thought I came to be intimate with him or if he was trying to change the subject. Either way, it was unsettling.
“Asmo…why…are you doing that?”
“Oh this, well I have to keep a clean bathroom you know, the very thought of a foul smell would take away from the ambiance of the décor and my bathing experience.”
“No…why were you throwing up?” His hands trembled and he smiled again.
“Oh, I just had something ghastly at dinner is all, I do hate the way Mammon cooks, he puts so much oil and spice in the food and it tears my poor stomach apart-”
“Asmo!! I SAW you downstairs!!” His face fell apart as he let out a nervous chuckle.
“Well… I suppose my secret is out. I’m sorry to shatter your expectations, but the fabulous Asmodeus doesn’t maintain such a perfect body so easily. I know, you must be disgusted to know I have a tiny minute flaw, but it doesn’t take away from my loving I promise!”
“Hey…you got…” I pointed and he looked in the mirror to see the blood dripping from his lips. He gasped and rushed to his sink where he took four or five bottles of products and washed his face. I took that time to get the cleaners and scrub his toilet and floor for him. I had no idea what to say or do, this is not what I imagined when I thought of Asmodeus. I never imagined I would feel such fear, desperation, sadness and loneliness from him. I turned and saw him in a silk robe with a headband holding his hair back and inspecting his teeth as he sat at this huge white vanity. I put the cleaners away as he muttered to himself and I stood next to him, trying to find something to say.
“Kiki, you keep staring, are you mesmerized by my natural splendor? Why I am as well, to see such a beautiful flawless creature gazing back lovingly at me is both a blessing and a curse.”
“If you feel that way, then why are you putting on makeup? What do you need these things for at two in the morning?”
“Ha, ha. Silly boy, this is a moisturizer, and this is for wrinkles, this is for toning my skin, and this is for opening my pores for this cleanser.” He pulled out the many bottles one by one as he explained but all I could think about was the Asmo that sat vacant-eyed and desperate in front of the fridge, it was a complete contrast to the cheery demon before me and yet they were one and the same.
“But, if you feel yourself to be flawless, then why do you need all of these things?” He looked at me in his mirror as he applied the pore opening stuff and scoffed like I was out of my mind.
“I have to make myself more beautiful of course! I have to accentuate my gorgeous features, I have to highlight my best assets, I have to be my absolute best!”
“But why though?”
“Why are you asking such stupid questions?!!” I had never seen him look so angry before and as soon as he saw it in the mirror, he fixed his expression and checked his face for what I assume to be wrinkles and it set me off.
“What are you even doing?!! Why do you keep contradicting yourself, why are you skipping all these meals and then gorging yourself late at night?! Why, if you are so flawless, do you need to use all of these products just to wash your damn face?! I don’t get it!!”
“Why were you cutting yourself when you got upset? Hmm? Why would you mutilate your skin that way, why would you-you just mar yourself the way you did huh?!” I was stunned, I didn’t think he paid attention to my personal life; he spent so much time partying or on his DDD or trying to hang out with a huge entourage of other demons. Why would he notice my angst, why would he care?
“I was…angry…and I felt trapped. I didn’t know how to express myself, so I wanted a release.”
“Hm, well I do not have the luxury to destroy my glorious body the way you did. I simply put all my focus into myself and loving others.”
“But-” He turned to me sharply and crossed his leg as he looked me up and down.
“Look at you, your skin is dry, your hair has split ends and you have scars…ugh, the very thought of me looking this way…I would rather die. Yet you do have a wonderful body you don’t have to work for, I just have to lose that last inch on my waist, and I will be fine, You won’t see that again.”
“I…have really bad anxiety I don’t starve myself on purpose! I’m seeing a professional about it!”
“Just the same, I let myself go and now I have to put in more work, I shouldn’t have had those drinks last night.” He muttered to himself in the mirror again and my mind reeled. He said all of this so calmly and yet…I felt nothing but sadness from him.
“How long has this diet gone on?” He began to apply the cleanser as he thought about it.
“Two…three…thousand years or so? Off and on.”
“Just to lose one inch on your waist??”
“I wouldn’t expect you to understand the necessity of maintaining one’s beauty! I don’t expect you to care either…” He stood and rinsed the cleanser from his face and blotted himself dry before grabbing the moisturizer.
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to yell and I’m not judging, I swear. I just don’t understand, this isn’t the Asmodeus I know.”
“Well Kiki you don’t truly know me now do you? But that is okay, we can get to know each other really well in my canopy bed.”
“W-wha??? I didn’t come here to sleep with you, I came here because I was worried about you!” He looked shocked and sat back down.
“Well I suppose that’s good, would have been very awkward to explain to Satan in the morning huh? But, you really were worried about me; you aren’t going to say some quip to make me regret thinking you could actually care about me are you?”
“No, I mean it, I was worried …I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about you, I wondered-”
“Oh Kiki you do care about meeee!!! I’m so happy!” He hugged me so tight I couldn’t breathe as he nearly sobbed. Luckily he let me down before I passed out and he gathered a bunch of nail polishes and weird products and spread them out before sitting me down in front of the vanity.
“Alright so how about a fabulous self-care slumber party?! I have just the conditioner to make your hair shine and I can do your nails! I know you fancy the black and gold…so maybe a cute accent with a rhinestone on…the ring finger here! You will look so cute, not as cute as me but you will be your best too!” He began to push my hair back with a headband before putting this foamy tingly stuff on my face. This was just surreal, it was like he didn’t want to talk about it at all.
“Now let this sit for a few minutes and I will put the base coat on your nails. I’m so excited!”
“Asmo, dude come on, why are you just skating around the issue?”
“What issue? Oh…well it will take a few washes and trims to get those split ends. It’ll take long enough to get the dirt from under your nails, ugh expect not to sleep tonight.” Do not yell, do not yell, do not get mad!
“I’m talking about your sadness.” He froze and looked at me with big eyes.
“I’m not sad, I’m the most beautiful demon in existence, I am loved by all, I entrance all who see me! What is there to be sad about? I do pity those who have not been graced by my beauty, poor souls, like starving children. It’s such a burden being this beautiful.” He continued to buff and shape my nails as he talked but the sadness didn’t go away, in fact, it grew.
“That has to be a lot of pressure, right?”
“Oh I enjoy being there for my fans, why where would they be without me? That is why I have to be my very best for them, they need me.” Holy shit…I have been looking at him all this time but I never looked at him!
“I know…it’s hard being there for them sometimes. You have all these people that look to you and demand so much. And so you have to carry yourself in the way they expect you to, if not then they lose faith in you. I think about that with our fans too, it’s why I was so angry about your version of the song.”
“Well yeah, that is understandable, but I enjoy my fans, I am the most beautiful being alive, it’s a duty I take on happily.”
“Yeah…to the point that you make your insides bleed right? Because who cares what is going on inside you if the only thing they care about is what the outside looks like? You even take drugs so you don’t feel hungry, but once they wear off you lose control and then you hate yourself more.” He didn’t respond, he continued to buff my nails, refusing to look at me.
“You say you are flawless, but you fuss over every spot on your skin, every square inch has to be perfect and your body has to be a specific size or else it is unacceptable. You tell everyone how beautiful you are like it’s a religion but I wonder if you believe it yourself? Because if you truly believed it, then you wouldn’t need all of this! You need others to give you that attention don’t you? You need them to tell you how beautiful you are or else this work is for nothing! Because out there with others you are the life of the party, but here…in here you are just a broken heart, lonely and afraid.” He moved the buffer faster, still not looking at me.
“You’ve been trying to reach out to me…that’s why you gave me the pills, that’s why you came into the music room while we were practicing, you were trying to get near me. Asmo you’ve known since the beginning that I am an empath…but your vanity wouldn’t let you admit that you are falling apart. You wanted me to feel it for you.” He froze, and then I felt the tears fall onto my hand. He looked up at me with tears running down his face and when he saw what he looked like he turned to fix it, but I grabbed his hands and made him look at me.
“You don’t understand…I am Asmodeus, I don’t cry, I can’t look like this…” He ripped his hands from my gasp and looked into the mirror, touching the reflection.
“This beautiful creature…looks like they are in so much pain…”
“That’s you Amso…you are in pain.” He sobbed and I felt crushed by his depression, I never knew this was here, he hid it so well, even from himself.
“I look so hideous…Oh my eyes are puffy, I’ll get wrinkles!” He jumped up but I grabbed him and held him tight.
“Stop it, you don’t need to get a cream, you need to talk about it!”
“I can’t, I have to fix it, I have to fix it before it’s too late!” He pushed me off of him but didn’t make it three steps before falling to his knees heaving. He covered his mouth with a handkerchief as he retched and I saw it turn red with blood.
“Asmo…” He trembled and shook his head as he chuckled.
“You and I aren’t so different after all Kiki. You go on stage and perform your art and please your fans. I do the same, but the world is my stage, my face is my art and my body is my canvas. But I don’t have a producer, I don’t have anyone backing me up or anyone to stand beside me as I perform…ha, perform, that’s a good word for it. I perform. I go before my fans with my gorgeous face and my flawless body and I make them swoon and gasp in awe! They come for me every day: ‘Asmo, please sit with us, Asmo, please give a selfie with you, Asmo, you are so beautiful, Asmo, please make love to me.’ They ask me, how are you so flawless, how are you so beautiful? Well, now you know, this is how such a specimen is made. You would hurt yourself because you felt trapped…you had the luxury to have your scars on the outside. That is why I’m jealous.”
“But you don’t have to do this, you don’t have to destroy yourself for fame and popularity!!”
“But don’t I?!!” He looked so different from the demon I saw walking the halls, prancing about with his fans and being the life of the party. This is what Satan was talking about.
“I have to do it. Because if I am not the most beautiful demon in every room, if I am not flawless, if I am not who they talk about…then I am not someone they want to love. And if my fans do not love me, then no one will. It’s such a burden…to be this beautiful.” This was much deeper than I thought it was, I was in over my head here. I sent a text to the others, hoping someone was awake to do something.
“Asmo…what about your bothers? They love you, my sister, I thought you guys were great friends! You have real friends and family that care about you whether you wore silk robes or plastic bags! You don’t have to do this!” He struggled to get to his feet and looked to the vanity again, the red-eyed, puffy-faced demon stared back in despair but he sat down calmly and began to apply creams to help this face. I was at a loss.
“You know, this same vanity was the one I had in the Celestial Realm, I was so beautiful then, so cherished and loved…it was amazing that I got this here…it reminds me of times I was loved, of times I was once beautiful and flawless.” The brothers came in and looked to me and then to Asmo who primped himself in the mirror.
“Yo bro, ya alright in here?” He looked up and turned in feigned surprised as he clapped his hands together.
“Oh good, we have more for the slumber party! Come around and we will get our hair and nails done, and maybe a few games!” Mammon was the first to come forward and hug his brother and it caught him off guard.
“What are you doing?!”
“What I shoulda done a long time ago, it’s okay lil bro.” Asmo looked confused as he looked to me and put the pieces together, but before he could say anything Lucifer hugged the both of them, followed by Satan, then Beel, Belphie and Levi.
“Okay guys, you can move now…honest, I’m fine…” They stayed there and didn’t say a word.
“I’m okay! Let me go, you’re going to make me sweat!”
“You aren’t okay Asmo, and that’s okay. You see this, these guys care about you no matter what you look like. They love you, screw your fans, I think something like that is better, don’t you think?” His eyes watered and I stepped forward and found his hand to hold.
“You don’t have to be perfect here, this is the place you are allowed to fall apart Asmo, it’s okay to not be okay.” He began to sob and the others held him tight, my heart hurt seeing him this way, all along he was just as broken as I had been a year ago, I hate that I misjudged him. I left them alone to handle it, I felt the sudden urge to hug my sister now.
ONE WEEK LATER
“Ha, ha, of course I will take a selfie with you!” I saw Asmo in the halls with a bunch of his fans as usual, but I felt a lot differently about it this time.
“Yo Amso!” I walked up and grabbed his shoulder and led him away with a smile.
“I’ll be back darlings, what’s gotten into you Kiki?”
“Hey I was thinking-”
“You finally want me to help you with your hair?”
“…I want you to design our outfits, the new season is coming up and I want a fresh look.” His eyes lit up and he smiled ear to ear at that and hugged me tight.
“Oh Kiki!! I knew you saw my fashion sense as artistic, of I have so many designs in mind for your body, you have no idea how long I have waited for this!”
“Well there is another thing…I have given your lyrics some thought, and I think I want you to write the rest of this song.”
“Oh wow! Do you think Satan would like that?”
“Well we agreed that you would be singing it, at our concert next week.” I thought he was going to explode from excitement as he hugged me again.
“I knew it, I knew you loved me!! You were always playing hard to get but you know beauty when you see it!” I peeled myself from him and smiled as he bounced.
“Just be in the music room by six, we have to get it down.” I turned to leave and he grabbed my arm, his face having gone from excited to a bit shy.
“Listen…I um…I decided to get a new vanity.”
“Really?”
“I liked the old one, but it was so last millennia, you know? And white clashes with my décor, I bought a gorgeous shadow salmon colored one that would set off my flowers perfectly! I think I needed a fresh start now that I am, um…going to that new spa once a week.” I was happy to hear this. I know the issues he has aren’t going away within a week, or even a year or few, but this step was big, at least when he looked at himself from this point on, he wasn’t comparing himself to the past.
“I can’t wait to see it!”
“Will you be in my room for a self-care slumber party tonight?” But all things came at a price.
“Uh…sure, I’ll be there with bells on.” He clapped his hands together as he squealed in delight.
“Oh good, I cannot wait to tackle that hair! I’ll see you this evening!”
“Ha…yeah.”
“And Kio…?” I turned back around quickly to see a soft gentle smile as he looked at me.”
“Thank you for listening and understanding.”
“Sure, any time.” He blew me a kiss before turning back to his fans and I sighed in relief.
“I see you and Asmo are finally getting close.” Satan came up beside me with a smile.
“We aren’t close.” I watched down the hall as Asmo laughed with them, but this was different, now the smile was in his eyes.
“I just get it, there is more to him than I thought there was. My cuticles have never been better I can say that about the guy, and he has this goopy stuff that’s amazing on my skin man, you should try it.”
“Ah the avocado and hell-pineapple facial scrub? Yeah, that one is good, he has me use the shadow sugar and poison apple one. Asmo has taught me a lot of tricks.”
“Except how to match your belt with your shoes.”
“Excuse me, but my way of dress is my own choice.”
“Oh good, I was beginning to worry you were just color-blind.”
“Shut up smartass!” We laughed as we went to our classes, and for the first time I felt I could finally fit in with all of them. Who knows, maybe Asmo and I could be real friends one day. I just had to endure getting facials for the rest of my life.
~Never judge a person you do not understand, you may have more in common with them than you believe. Outer beauty, although nice to see, pales in comparison to the inner beauty one can see when you let it free. A poisoned body is not a worthy price for a pretty one. It is okay to not be okay, those who cherish you at your worst are your true friends and family and blood isn’t necessary to have that family. If you or anyone may be suffering from an eating disorder or need other help, please call (888) 581-8221 or visit www.callmentalhealthnow.com.~