Chapter Text
Lewy (let’s call him Lewy from now on just because) has never been accustomed to the term of ‘jealousy’. He believes that if one person becomes jealous then it means he doesn’t trust his partner. Therefore, he tries to avoid that. Besides, there are also many breaking up cases in which jealousy is involved.
However, he has realized that he is making an exception for this Jonas guy. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Erik, he knows Erik only considers Jonas as a friend, but Lewy just couldn’t stop this feeling that keeps stirring inside of him every time he sees both of them together. Perhaps it’s the skinship they are both having, lots of unintended touches (from Erik’s side of course), or perhaps the way Erik seems enjoying his time with Jonas.
Whatever it is, Lewy decides that if Jonas is going to come to his apartment to discuss this ‘final project’ of them, he’ll better go to his office and indulge himself with his works that keep piling up. Everything is fine, he keeps telling himself. He’s not doubting Erik, he’s just isn’t used to what he’s having right now.
“You know, if you’ve some problems with Erik, you better solve it soon. I thought you guys are fine with your sexual tensions already?” asks Marco one day, out of nowhere.
If it’s possible, Lewy will probably falls off from his chairs with all his documents fly everywhere. Luckily it’s not happening because he can’t imagine himself to collect all his papers. He only takes a glance at Marco and shrugs it off.
“We’re fine.” Well, technically they are fine. If Jonas is not coming to his apartment, they’ll spend time together for dinner and if tomorrow is Saturday or Sunday, perhaps it’ll lead to something more. He’s content with his private life so far. Erik seems, what should he say, adventurous and – oh okay, perhaps it’s not something to be discussed right now.
Marco raises his eyebrows. “Yeah sure, and is that why Erik is downstairs right now?”
“Wait, what?” Lewy stops whatever he was working on just now and stares at Marco, wide-eyes.
“I said, Erik is downstairs right now, waiting for you, I’m not sure why. Told him to come upstairs but he say he’ll just wait you at the lobby.”
There are so many things running inside Lewy’s head at the moment. He couldn’t comprehend what Erik would want to say. It’s not like he has avoided Erik like a plague, is he? He has made sure to at least let the younger man know where he’ll be going or if he’ll come home or not.
It seems that Marco notices his expression. The blonde says, “Well, what is it?”
Trying to avoid Marco this time will just waste of time because the blonde will surely do anything to make sure Lewy talks. Lewy sighs. “Have you ever felt jealous with Mats? I mean when he’s close to that friend of him, Benedikt, isn’t it?”
Mentioning Benedikt’s name surely changes Marco’s facial expression in a split second. “Well, perhaps yes, because they have been close since before Mats is with me.” Marco shrugs.
“Do you think it’s okay for us to be jealous? I mean –“
“Ah, I think I get it. You’re thinking that jealousy is not good in relationship, aren’t you?” Lewy nods. Marco grins, he takes a seat on Lewy’s desk. Normally the Polish man will warn Marco, but he could make some exception for now. “Well, Lewy, I think sometimes we need a jealousy to fire up relationship. Wait, don’t get me wrong, I know it’s not good, but if it’s too much. You know sometimes, when our partner is jealous, we have this indescribable feeling of happiness because that means they care and they don’t want to lose us.”
“Now boss, when you’re jealous of this Jonas guy, don’t ask how I know the name, I‘ve my own source, it’s okay to just accept it. It doesn’t make the trust you have in Erik any less. It just shows how much you treasure him and how you don’t want to let him go. It’s better rather than you avoid him like what you’re doing this month. Just remember, don’t be too much jealous and insecure. You’ll have to make a balance of those so that you guys could make it out. Perhaps you should also explain this to Erik, the boy needs to know.”
Lewy takes all Marco’s advices into consideration. Perhaps the blonde is right. He should have faced and accept his feelings rather than keep avoiding them. “Alright, I guess, I’ll do it soon.”
“No, now, go downstairs and go home. Explain to him and talk to him about this feeling of yours. Let’s continue this tomorrow. I have my date with Mats too, now shoo.”
“I wonder who’s actually the employer and who’s the employee.” Lewy chuckles.
“It doesn’t matter, now you’re my friend and I’m giving you a good advice. Marco Reus never wrong, remember how I finally released both of your sexual frustrations on New Year’s Eve?”
“That’s another matter,” Lewy shakes his head.
“Now shoo, and if possible go have a make-out sex,” Marco winks while the Polish man could only sigh and decide to clean his desk before taking his leave for the day. Since it’s already dark, perhaps they could talk this in a dinner.
-x-
“It’s just when you are with Jonas, you look so happy, you keep laughing. But when you’re with me, it’s like you’re forcing yourself and it makes me thinking, if I make you happy or if I’m just burdening you?”
When they have finished their dinner, Lewy finally talks about his thoughts that month. It’s not like it could be avoided anymore. Erik must have realized something is going on. He waits for Erik’s response but the boy seems deep in thoughts.
He’s biting his lips again, a habit when he’s nervous, Lewy realizes. Sighs. This is perhaps one of the reasons why he thought he could never win from that Jonas. “Erik?”
“It’s not like that,” The boy finally starts to talk. “It’s just… Jonas has been like my brother and it feel s easier to talk to him –“
“And it’s not when with me?”
“No! I mean, you’re busy and I don’t want to burden you. When I think I can handle it alone, I’ll try to solve it by myself. Besides, it’s not like you consult to me about your work problems either right?”
That makes Lewy startles a bit. Who knows Erik could say something back like that? Sure, he doesn’t want to tell Erik regarding his company because he thinks the boy needs to concentrate on education first. Perhaps, he could relate this to Erik. Still, it’s not yet answering his question.
“You look happy with him,” Lewy starts.
“Just because I’m laughing with him and not with you, doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy time with you. He’s not the person who makes my heart beats so fast!” Erik almost shouts if he forgets that they are still in public place. Lewy could see a hint of red in the boy’s cheeks. Probably he’s blushing hard because of what he has said to Lewy before. “And you also look so happy when you’re with Marco then you’re with me.”
Hearing what Erik just said finally made Lewy realizes something. He laughs, not too loud to gain attention but enough to make Erik feels confused. How could he not see that Erik is actually feeling the same? He gives a comfort smile to Erik. “I love you,” That sentence is enough to explain almost everything to him right now. Of course Erik could only blush and doesn’t get with the sudden statement.
Yes, Marco is right, because Lewy loves Erik, therefore he feels a bit insecure. He doesn’t want to lose Erik and so he feels jealous to anyone that could make Erik happy, afraid that someday they will take Erik away from him. But doesn’t mean he becomes any less trust to Erik. As long as he is able to make sure everything in balance then it’ll be alright.
Finally that night he could feel the warmth he’s missing all this month. And the fact that Marco’s advice about make-out sex is great is of course a secret that he won’t tell to Marco, not even when the blonde bugs him everyday with text messages.