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“What do you mean, you aren’t going home for Christmas? You always go home for Christmas.” Hisoka’s voice, so familiarly sly, was suddenly offbeat, puzzled and questioning.
“I’ve been thinking,” the reply came, “that maybe Kil was right.”
“Oh?” Hisoka said, lips curling. “And why is that so?”
“My family is… pushy,” Illumi said. “Going home would only result in uncomfortable questions, especially since Kil definitely won’t be coming and Kalluto is with the Phantom Troupe. I’d be stuck with only Milluki, my parents, and my grandfather,” he wrinkled his nose in slight distaste, “and that scenario is not one that I would willingly put myself in.”
Illumi thought some more, his eyes wide and soulless as usual, boring into Hisoka’s own. “... And frankly, I’d rather stay with you than have awkward conversations with my parents.”
“Well, my apartment is open to you anytime,” Hisoka said, his voice taking on a suggestive tone.
“I believe I’ll take you up on that offer,” Illumi replied. “But if you attempt to spring me in the middle of the night I will not hesitate to kill you in the most brutal way possible.”
“But of course,” came the reply.
Hisoka’s apartment– if one would call it that– was as much of an apartment as Zeno Zoldyck was young. Perched at the top of Heaven’s Arena, surely the benefits of winning Battle Olympia, it boasted a gargantuan kitchen, king-sized living room– and of course, only one bedroom. Hisoka had requested it himself: he had no need for more than one bed, especially since he happened to share with whatever guests he was blessed with. Illumi had taken one blink at the bedroom, stared for an instant at Hisoka’s seductive leer, and dropped his belongings on the couch, claiming it as his own.
“The bed is more comfortable,” Hisoka protested as Illumi unpacked, pulling out clothes from the bag he held and setting them on the dresser he had dragged to the living room.
“Comfort is not my concern. My concern is your… habit, and the number of people that have slept and done who-knows-what with you in said bed.”
The magician pouted. “I wash the sheets after. And it’s been more than a week.”
“I don’t care.” And without further ado, the oldest Zoldyck plopped down on the couch and started surfing through TV channels, stopping at a corny sitcom and settling in.
Hisoka stared at him, eyebrows raised. “I have to go to a match this afternoon.”
Illumi grunted in response. “I will stay here.”
“Don’t do anything… naughty while I’m gone, all right, Illu?” Hisoka murmured, catching the pin that flew at him, missing the center of his eye. “Don’t like the nickname?”
Illumi held up a hand without eye contact, revealing his hand full of pins pointed directly at the magician. “Call me that again and you’ll be dead before you hit the floor.”
“Oh, how I love your empty threats, Illu,” Hisoka said as he walked out the sliding doors.
----------------------------
“I watched you fight,” the Zoldyck’s first words as Hisoka returned, sweaty, but without a scratch on him. “Your opponent’s Ren was skilled.”
There was no response. Hisoka stared at Illumi. The Zoldyck’s inky waterfall of hair was swept up messily. He wore sweatpants and a t-shirt, looking more vulnerable than Hisoka had ever seen him.
“You look comfortable,” The magician finally said.
“You didn’t respond to my earlier statement,” Illumi looked up curiously, “Why?”
“It wasn’t necessary to respond. I know they had strong Ren. That means nothing to me.”
“I suppose I assumed that you were attracted to only strong people.” Illumi blinked at Hisoka.
“That isn’t true,” Hisoka said, almost defensively, “Just last week I met this immensely attractive photographer with the weakest Nen I’ve ever seen. That didn’t stop me, however.”
Illumi stared up at the magician, his eyes boring into his skull. “You are a strange man, Hisoka Morow.”
“That I am, Illumi Zoldyck.”
“By the way, I found a cat.”
“What?”
Illumi lifted the blankets he was bundled in to reveal a lump of black fur sitting on his lap. “I found a cat,” he repeated, “and I’ve decided to adopt it. I hope you don’t mind animals.”
Hisoka crouched to examine the animal sleeping on the Zoldyck’s lap. “Are you sure it’s alive?”
“Of course. I can feel its heartbeat.” As if on cue, the cat lazily raised its head, bright yellow eyes examining his new home. Standing up and turning circles on Illumi’s lap, it yawned and settled back down, evidently realizing there was no threat to its comfortable position.
Hisoka smiled at the creature. “It looks like you, Illu,” he marveled, narrowly missing the pin that flew at him. “Right, no nickname.”
“I think it reminds me of you,” Illumi replied, ignoring the fact that he had just flung a pin at his current host. “You have the same eyes, and it tried to claw me to death when I first brought it here.”
“Oh? And how does the latter remind you of me?” Hisoka said in mock offense.
“You have a flattering facade,” Illumi replied simply, “but if you’re angry enough, it gets ugly.”
“I could say the same about you,” Hisoka slyly said, adding on a cheeky “Illu~” and dodging the pin once again.
“That is true.” Illumi sighed tiredly. “All this bloodthirst and running around killing has made me exhausted,” he added, a silent invitation floating out to Hisoka.
Accepting it, the magician sat down next to the assassin, smiling when the cat leapt off of Illumi’s lap and curled up in his. “What do we call it?”
The Zoldyck shrugged. “Whatever seems fitting.”
Hisoka stared down at the feline, who looked back up at him, its bright yellow eyes gleaming like a firefly’s. “What about Hotaru?”
“Mmm,” Illumi mumbled, sliding down to rest his head on the magician’s lap. The lazy warmth of the apartment and the downpour outside lulled the assassin to a sort of half-sleep, awake enough to kill someone in an instant, but still warm and slow. Hotaru, as Hisoka had christened the cat, tucked its tail under its chin right on top of Illumi’s spread-out hair.
Hisoka chuckled. “I love it when you’re like this.”
“Like what?” Illumi asked, raising an eyebrow while keeping his eyes closed.
“Like this,” came the simple response.
Illumi opened his mouth to say more, to ask Hisoka to elaborate, but shut it and sighed contentedly when he felt the magician combing through his hair with his fingers, sharp nails raking his scalp in a way that made Illumi want to forget everything and simply melt. He could almost hear Hisoka’s lips curl into a smile, not one of malice but one of triumph, of finally getting Illumi to let his ever-present guard down in front of him.
“You know you love me, Illu,” Hisoka said after a few minutes of sweet and buttery silence.
Illumi sighed, allowing the nickname just this once. “Unfortunately, I do.”
Hisoka only laughed, bending down and kissing the Zoldyck on the forehead, a gesture that was so out of character for the perverted magician that Illumi almost sat up and stared. Instead, he simply moved closer to Hisoka, grabbing his hand and resting it against his cheeks. Next to him, Hotaru lazily purred.
They sat, engulfed in warm quiet until Illumi’s phone rang.
Alas, good moments as they were, life goes on, and Illumi was not surprised to find his mother calling him despite the time in Kukuroo Mountain. Sitting up and stretching, he reluctantly swiped up as the call went through.
“ILLUMI?” Came the screech of his mother’s voice. “Are you alright? Where are you? Are you–”
She was cut off by Illumi’s simple “Hello, Mother. I’m alright. I’ve decided to stay with an associate for the holidays rather than come home.”
He was met with silence. Then Kikyo’s voice cut through like steel. “An associate? Who?” There wasn’t a shred of niceness in her tone.
“Hisoka Morow.”
“The clown?” Kikyo’s voice reached a tone that was close to her screeching.
“He prefers the term magician, but you may call him whatever you please.”
“And why, Illumi, would you want to stay with him instead of coming home to your darling family?”
The assassin swallowed, then pushed forward. “Our family currently only consists of you, Father, Grandfather, and Milluki, some people of which I would prefer to not interact with.”
His mother's gasp of horror was predicted, and Illumi could envision her staggering back with the dramatic weight of his words. "How could you- is that clown influencing you, Illumi? The way we raised you- you would never say that about your family!"
"Hisoka is not influencing me in any negative ways, Mother," the assassin continued, albeit very cautiously. "I have simply decided to not meet you all this year. That is all."
Kikyo was silent, an ominous yet deafening lack of sound that made Illumi's heart rate triple.
"Fine. But if I hear that your… affairs with this clown are changing your ideas about our family, he will die. There will be no consideration and no trial. He will simply be dead as I see to it."
Illumi let himself smile. Not one of cheerfulness– he saved those for Hisoka and Hisoka only– but a smirk of knowing. "You may try, Mother. Unfortunately, though, Hisoka seems to have made up his mind that only I will be ever permitted to bring about his death if the time comes when that is necessary."
He was replied with the click of his mother hanging up.
"I take it she wasn't pleased?" Hisoka asked carefully.
"She was everything but," Illumi replied. "It got to the point where she threatened to kill you."
"Oh, dear," Hisoka said in slight amusement. "Have you told her that I refuse to allow anyone but you to kill me?"
"I have," Illumi supplied, then growing serious. "My mother is a force to be reckoned with, Hisoka. She has turned cities into dust without batting an eyelash, and I'm sure it will be a challenge for you to escape her wrath if you invoke it."
Hisoka only smirked. "Finally," he said, "a worthy opponent. Now, how exactly will she kill me without batting an eyelash?"
Illumi smiled. "I can hopefully confirm that it will be a challenge for her as well to kill you." His thoughts turned into relief as he realized that the man he loved was nothing like the thousands of people Kikyo Zoldyck has murdered. No, he was much stronger, much more clever, and most importantly, much more determined to let Illumi, and only Illumi, kill him when the time came.
Hisoka, noticing Illumi's face, only smirked more. "I see you're finally realizing that I'm stronger than your dear mother thinks."
Suddenly staring down in slight surprise, he added, "Ah. I seem to be getting turned on with the idea of fighting someone that strong."
"Then why don't we take advantage of that?" Illumi said, moving closer to the magician and forgetting all about his mother as his eyes traveled to his unrequited lover's lips.
"Why don't we," came the low response.
-----------------------------
Hotaru's loud meowing woke Illumi up. Slinging a leg over the edge of the bed– he had fallen asleep there after last night's… endeavors– he went to see what all the commotion was about:
And presently noticed that Hisoka was gone. Cursing under his breath, he walked to the living room in a state of subtle panic, relieved to find the magician sitting on the couch in pajamas, reading a letter- said letter was also what Hotaru was so riled up about.
"What is it?" The assassin asked, all traces of sleep gone.
"Oh, nothing. Just an invitation from your mother to come to Kukuroo Mountain and meet your oh-so-dear family." Hisoka smirked. "It seems your conversation with your mother has been a deciding factor."
Illumi just gaped at him. "My mother did what?"
Hisoka waved the letter at the Zoldyck, "Come read it if you'd like." Illumi bounded across the room in two long steps and snatched the letter from Hisoka, scanning it over.
It read,
To: Hisoka Morow.
The Zoldyck family is requesting the honor of your presence at Kukuroo Mountain from December twenty-fourth through December twenty-seventh. It is with great excitement that we hope to see you here.
Regards,
Kikyo Zoldyck
That was it, along with Illumi’s mother’s signature scrawled at the bottom. The assassin bit his lip. “This isn’t good,” he informed Hisoka.
“Why not? It seems to be a perfectly normal request,” Hisoka replied with a twinkle in his eye.
“It’s not. The last time Mother invited someone to our family dinners…” Illumi almost shuddered at the memory of what had happened last time.
“What happened?” Hisoka asked, intrigued.
The Zoldyck sighed. “Milluki found some girl online and had been communicating with her for quite a while. Mother found out and invited her over for dinner.” He remembered the girl, pretty and petite, bubbly and bright. It was the first and last time he had seen Milluki willingly dress nicely, and for a while, it seemed that Kikyo would allow this girl to date him. “She insulted Mother.” She had marveled at the food, complimented Kalluto’s hair– then taken one look at Kikyo and gushed, ‘Oh my god, your dress is ugly! We should totally go shopping, or something later, because you have no taste, woman.’
Needless to say, Kikyo, seething and livid, had killed her on the spot. Milluki had grumbled for a few weeks after until he went back to stalking other, prettier, girls online. To him, that girl was just another plaything, used for his horny pleasures until he bored of her.
Hisoka, however, was everything but disposable to Illumi.
The magician, seeming to hear Illumi’s thoughts, smiled. “I hope you trust me enough to not insult one of the most famous assassins in the world, Illu.” He stood up, tracing the Zoldyck’s chin with a finger and whispering, “Don’t you worry. No one, and I mean no one, can kill me except you, darling.”
Illumi sighed, stepping away from Hisoka. “December twenty-fourth is tomorrow. I suggest you either train or prepare somehow for meeting my family. I can guarantee they’ll be nothing like you expect.”
Hisoka simply smiled wider. “Oh, how I love surprises,” was all he said before exiting the room.
----------------------
The airship was gigantic. Double– no, triple– the size of any airship Hisoka had ever seen, including the one that was provided to Hunters. He couldn’t help but gape at the sheer size of it, seeming to rise up and up and far away from where even he could see. Illumi, quite the opposite, wordlessly boarded and sat down with his hands in his lap.
Once Hisoka had accompanied him and the ship had taken off, Illumi finally spoke. “Listen to everything I say. Follow my directions and you’ll be fine.”
Hisoka only gave him an intrigued glance.
Taking a breath, the assassin continued. “Don’t say anything even remotely disrespectful to my mother. Stay silent as much as you can. There is to be no mention of your work or your background unless asked, in which case you must respond. If you see my father, say nothing. Just nod or make eye contact with him. As for my siblings, the only one you’ll meet is Milluki, and I highly suggest you stay away from his room unless you want to get nauseated.”
Hisoka raised an eyebrow. “I was under the impression that your family wouldn’t kill me if I talked about anything, but I’ll take your word for it.”
Illumi let out a soft chuckle full of bitterness. “My family is looking for an excuse to kill you, Hisoka.”
“They’ll find it hard to kill me, darling, as I’ve said many times before this.”
The assassin turned his gaze on the magician. “Hisoka, I’m– I’m glad it’s you.”
Hisoka tilted his head curiously. “Glad it’s me? Why?”
The black-eyed stare on him grew solemn. “It’s Zoldyck tradition to have arranged marriages– if one gets married at all– and every once in a while, someone runs away to elope. They’re stripped from the family name and burned off the family tree,” he swallowed, “It’s a disgrace… but I understand why they do it.” His eyes softened. “I’m preparing to put myself in that position in the likely event that my family doesn’t like yo–”
He stopped as Hisoka kissed him. Not hard and rough like his usual ones; this one was soft, full of something that seemed like gratitude and happiness, and Illumi melted and let himself be taken in Hisoka’s arms and fly away to a world where nothing existed except these two broken, miserable, selfish, lovestruck idiots who had no weakness except one another. And when they broke apart, Hisoka took Illumi’s face in his hands and said, “I love you, darling,” and Illumi’s head dropped onto his lover’s chest where the muffled “I love you too,” came.
They sat there wrapped in each other until the airship landed.
The Zoldyck Estate was exactly as Illumi remembered it and nothing like how Hisoka imagined it. “Ah. I thought it would look more like… a house?” He supplied helpfully as they headed up Kukuroo Mountain.
Illumi didn’t even bother to grace him with a response, instead biting his lip almost nervously as they reached the front gates. Zebro hurried out of the guardhouse, hastily bowing to Illumi. “Illumi-sama, welcome home.”
The oldest Zoldyck nodded at him. “Hello, Zebro.”
The guard stepped back to stare at Hisoka. “And I presume this is Hisoka-sama?”
“At your service,” Hisoka leered, bowing his head and smirking.
“Well,” Zebro began, vaguely gesturing to the enormous gates in front of him, “I’ll let you two proceed.”
Illumi, head raised high, stalked past him, Hisoka following, mildly intrigued. “Is that old man all the security you have here? I expected more.”
The assassin made a noise that sounded very close to a snort. “Open all seven Testing Gates and we’ll see how much more you expect.” He held out an arm towards the gate in front of them, inviting Hisoka to open it.
Slightly suspicious but extremely entertained, Hisoka walked past him and pushed one of the doors open.
It didn’t budge, which didn’t surprise Hisoka. Trying again, with some more force, he pushed it harder.
It still didn’t move a centimeter. Illumi smiled faintly next to him. “You’ll have to do more if you want to get it open,” he said.
Hisoka smirked. “I can do it with one hand, Illu.”
“I seriously doubt that. This weighs two tons, and the others double as they go up.”
Hisoka just laughed, using Ko and bringing one hundred percent of his Nen into his right arm, this time pushing with much more force.
Five of the doors, stacked on top of one another, swung open. Holding out an arm, Hisoka smiled smugly, “You first.”
Illumi raised an eyebrow at him and stepped past. Hisoka, following him, noticed that Illumi looked neither upset nor irritated. Instead, he almost looked proud. Hisoka saw this as an absolute win.
“Good, we made it through. I was hoping we wouldn’t have to run into Mike.”
“Mike?”
“Our… pet. He’s a giant mutant dog-wolf that guards our premises and kills whoever trespasses.”
Hisoka just stared. Illumi looked at him and smiled slightly. “Don’t ask.”
“I wasn’t planning to.”
A purr interrupted their staring contest. Hotaru peeked its head out of Illumi’s bag, leaping out and rubbing its fur against the assassin’s bag.
Hisoka raised an eyebrow. “You brought Hotaru?”
Illumi shrugged almost sheepishly. “I’ve grown attached.” He turned around and whistled shrilly. A loud bark responded, along with the sound of gigantic feet bounding across the ground with incredible speed. A great beast leapt out of the trees, panting with its tongue hanging out, and stopping short in front of Illumi, who smiled and said, “Hi, Mike.”
“So this is your… dog,” Hisoka noted faintly. Illumi, taking no notice of him, held out a handful of what seemed to be dried human flesh. Mike, his humongous tail wagging and causing Hisoka’s hair to fly everywhere, barked twice and ate directly out of Illumi’s hand.
Hotaru, leaping out from behind a bush, strode up to the mutant dog and started to sniff him curiously, stopping after a few seconds and rubbing his fur against Mike’s leg- evidently concluding that the giant dog was now its best friend. Mike, slightly confused, wagged his tail harder and licked Hotaru. Illumi smiled. “I thought they might get along.”
“Uh-huh, darling,” Hisoka said distractedly, staring at the now-cuddling cat and- strange wolf creature.
Illumi continued walking, shaking off Hisoka’s hand when he tried to grab it. They were met by a group of butlers, who simultaneously bowed and said, “Welcome, Illumi-sama,” the second they came near. Hisoka crouched next to one of them, a younger girl with braids holding a staff. “Aren’t you adorable,” he asked, giving her a sinister smile. She glared at him, looking capable of murder, but holding back because he was a guest.
“Hisoka,” Illumi muttered threateningly. The magician raised his hands in mock surrender and stood up, walking back to where Illumi was and looping their hands together.
“Sorry, sweetheart, I’m taken,” he winked at the girl. Illumi grumbled something under his breath and dragged him along. Hisoka waved and blew kisses to all the butlers, much to the Zoldyck’s chagrin.
“I told you not to make jokes.”
“Fine, darling.”
Their conversation was interrupted by the unmistakable shriek of “ILLUMI?!” The assassin visibly flinched as Kikyo Zoldyck sped around the corner and came to a stop in front of her oldest son. Illumi immediately let go of Hisoka’s hand, clasping his palms together.
“Hello, Mother.”
“I see you and… your associate took the invitation!” Kikyo didn’t bother to even glance at Hisoka.
“We did, Mother.”
She smiled from ear to ear. Illumi’s eyes widened for a split second before the slap came, his mother’s nails leaving deep scratches on his cheek. He staggered back, not bothering to cover the wound or even consider it, immediately bowing and whispering, “I’m sorry, Mother.”
“Assassins don’t have friends, Illumi. The word 'we' is never to be used in front of me.”
Illumi nodded. “W– I accepted the invitation, Mother.”
“And will you be staying for the whole time?"
“Yes, we wi–” Illumi realized his mistake too late and braced himself for another slap, his eyes opening in surprise when none came. Stepping back in horror, he realized why: Hisoka had cleanly stepped between him and his mother, stopping her short of slapping him again.
“I don’t see why you have to keep doing that, my dear,” Hisoka’s words were sweet, his tone the complete opposite.
Kikyo’s visor flashed. “And who are you to determine what I do and don’t do to my son?”
Hisoka smiled, dripping with malice. “Just someone who cares about your son– evidently more than you do.”
Kikyo drew in a shuddering breath as if no one had said anything this offensive to her before. “One more word– one more word about my relationship with Illumi and you will die.”
Hisoka’s smile faded, but staying silent, he stepped back.
“Illumi, I don’t know what possessed you to believe that this clown is necessary in your life, but whatever it is, I hope you get rid of it before I am forced to act.” And with those words, cutting through Illumi like shards of glass, Kikyo turned and left.
“Well, that was an informative first impression,” Hisoka finally said after a few minutes of dead silence.
“Why would you do that?” Illumi hissed at him, face contorted in anger and confusion.
“I refuse to stand by idly and watch you get hurt, even if it is your mother, Illumi,” Hisoka said, not a trace of fun in his voice.
Illumi balled his fists and sighed. “I have been getting hit by my mother for years, Hisoka. You would think I can bear the pain by now.”
“And you would think your mother has the sense not to slap a twenty-seven-year-old man like he’s a child.”
Illumi furiously motioned for him to shut up as he heard someone in the bushes behind him. His face went from suspicion to surprise as he felt a small pair of arms encircle his waist. It couldn’t be Hisoka– no, Hisoka was much taller.
“Hi, Illu-nii,” a small voice came from behind him.
Oh.
Standing behind him and hugging him from behind was Kalluto, who had evidently come home from the Phantom Troupe. “Hello, Kalluto.”
“Well, hello there!” Hisoka said with a trace of knowing in his voice.
Kalluto stared. “You’re the one Illumi brought?”
“Do you two know each other?” Illumi asked, confused.
“We’re sort of business partners,” Hisoka smirked.
“I replaced him in the Phantom Troupe,” Kalluto explained.
“Ah,” came Illumi’s response.
Hisoka pouted. “I didn’t think you would remember me for that and not my lovely charms.”
Kalluto grumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like “Lovely charms my ass.” Illumi chose to ignore it and focus on his own problems.
“I saw Killua-nii at the entrance, by the way,” the youngest Zoldyck added.
Illumi almost tripped and fell over nothing. “Killua is home?”
Kalluto nodded innocently. “And he’s apparently brought a guest. I guess Mother wants to get rid of two people at once,” he shrugged, “I never liked Hisoka anyway. Too bad he’s gonna die.” And with that, he turned and ran, his kimono sleeves flying behind him.
Hisoka stared after him. “The age gap in your family is immense. How old is he? Seven? Eight?”
“Ten,” Illumi replied faintly, still dazed at the idea that the entire Zoldyck family would be present at Hisoka’s… trial– except Alluka, for obvious reasons. That meant more of an audience, more judging, and whoever Killua’s mysterious guest was, the addition of them.
His flurry of thoughts was interrupted by a cold hand on his shoulder. Startled, he turned around to come face-to-face with a smiling Hisoka. “You’re stressing too much,” he started, “you’re bouncing on the balls of your feet.”
The Zoldyck sighed and admitted, “I’m worried about you,” he swallowed, “If there are more people to judge and more people that don’t like you, like Kalluto, then you have an even lower chance of getting… approval from my parents.”
He was replied with a smile that wasn’t directed towards him. Instead, Hisoka was glancing at someone behind Illumi– who had just walked past the entrance to the estate.
Illumi whirled around to meet the face of his second youngest– and by far, the most favorite– brother. Killua narrowed his eyes. “Illumi.”
“Kil.”
“I brought a guest,” Killua started.
“So did I,” Illumi countered.
KIllua looked irritable. He turned back towards the trees and yelled, “YO! YOU CAN COME OUT NOW!”
Someone fell out of a tree, looking sheepish. “I just wanted to make sure he wouldn’t kill you or something.”
Without bothering to look at the guest, Illumi took Hisoka’s wrist and brought him forward. “Meet Killua, my other brother,” he said.
Hisoka stood in stunned silence as he stared at someone.
Said someone being Gon Freecss, Killua’s apparent “guest.”
“You brought him?” Illumi hissed.
“You brought him?” Killua repeated, this time directed towards Hisoka.
Gon and Hisoka just stood there gaping at each other. “Uh,” Gon said, “Hisoka?”
“I wasn’t aware that you would be here, Gon,” Hisoka replied, rapidly regaining his composure.
Illumi stared. “Hisoka, how many of my siblings and their friends do you know?”
The magician smirked. “I guess I just do belong with your family, darling.” Killua wrinkled his nose slightly at the pet name.
Illumi opened his mouth to speak, maybe drag Hisoka away or threaten Gon, but he was distracted by the same butler that Hisoka had attempted to flirt with earlier. She stepped forward, bowing. “I’m here to take you to your rooms.”
“Illumi, I need to talk to you,” Killua interjected.
“Fine. Hisoka, go to your room. I will join you shortly.”
Hisoka strode forward, winking again at the butler. Thoroughly uncomfortable, she held out her arm to Gon, saying, “I will take you to your room as well, Gon-sama.”
Gon, still staring suspiciously at Hisoka, gave Killua’s hand a quick squeeze and went with her, the magician following closely behind. “I’ll see you later, Illu~!”
That left Illumi and Killua awkwardly staring at each other. “You wanted to talk?” Illumi strained.
“Yeah. Seriously, aniki? ‘Illu?’ ‘Darling’?” Killua looked downright disgusted at the multitude of pet names and nicknames Hisoka called Illumi.
The older Zoldyck gave an uncomfortable cough. “What was that little demonstration of hand-holding back there, Kil?”
“Don’t change the subject,” Killua warned, albeit flushing slightly.
“How do you even know Hisoka that well,” Illumi questioned. “I thought you just saw him in the Hunter Exam.”
Killua snorted. “We also fought him to the death in Heaven’s Arena, hung out with him in Yorknew City, and tried to beat him in Greed Island.”
“Greed Island…?” Illumi had no clue what the hell Killua was going on about.
“This video game that Gon’s dad made that’s actually in the real world and uses spells to take you places and do stuff,” Killua helpfully explained. Seeing Illumi’s perplexed expression, he added, “Don’t ask about the details. Basically, we have a weird history with Hisoka.”
“I can see that,” Illumi said distractedly.
“How do you know Hisoka, though?” Killua was suspiciously glaring at Illumi. “What is he to you?”
“He’s my–” Illumi stopped short. What was Hisoka to him? An enemy, yes; a lover, yes– “He’s my business partner,” the assassin finally concluded.
Killua stared. “Seems like a lot more to me.”
“Your friendship with Gon seems like a lot more to me,” Illumi retorted.
His younger brother flushed. “Shut up before Mom hears.”
Illumi rolled his eyes. He prepared to leave when he heard a shrill, girlish shriek coming from somewhere on the top floors of the estate–
A girlish scream that was unmistakably Milluki. Illumi, shooting a glance at Killua, turned and ran, his younger brother keeping close behind him. Milluki wasn’t one to defend himself very well; he had the basic skills of an assassin, but when cornered, he was utterly helpless. As much as the two other Zoldycks disliked him, their upbringing demanded them to go help him no matter what.
Flying up the stair and bursting into Milluki’s room, Illumi with his pins and Killua with his claws out–
They both stood there gaping as they saw Hisoka and Milluki– both somehow sitting in the pigsty that was his room– beat another “level” in what looked very suspiciously like a hentai game.
“Get out of my roo– oh, hey,” Milluki started, stopping when he saw Illumi looking ready to murder someone. His expression turned to one of disgust when he saw Killua. “Get out of my room, brat.”
Killua raised his eyebrows and seemed to disappear, moving so fast that Milluki wasn’t even able to delete the window before Killua reappeared right in front of him. “What’s this video game you’re playing, Aniki?” Looks interesting. As if on cue, the girl on screen let out a moan– Milluki turning completely red.
Hisoka, having tired of the game, strode over to where Illumi was seething and drawled, “Hi, Darling. I happened to get lost on the way and ended up meeting Milluki, and we bonded over our… interests. We’re good friends now.”
Milluki, still red, shrugged at Illumi. “He was really good at that game,” he countered.
Illumi sighed and buried his face in his palms. “Please, Hisoka, just go to your room and don’t cause any more ruckus. My mother and two of my brothers already don’t like you, and I’d rather not increase that number.”
The magician pouted. “You’re no fun, Illu.”
The assassin shot him a glare. “I’m trying to keep you safe, thank you very much.”
Hisoka frowned and said, “Fine, but I might need… company, so I don’t get lost again.”
Illumi sighed again. “I’ll come with you, but don’t pull any funny business.”
“Now, why would I do that?” Came Hisoka’s reply.
-------------------------
The magician’s shoes click-clacked across the tile floor as he and his lover walked across to the set of bedrooms that lay in the west wing. “Illu, I haven’t met your father yet,” Hisoka started, much to Illumi’s chagrin.
“I’m glad you haven’t met him,” Illumi said in relief. “Who knows what would happen the–”
As if Satan himself had cursed the poor assassin, Silva Zoldyck rounded the corner at that exact moment, hands clasped behind his back and looking thoroughly uncomfortable.
“Father,” Illumi said, bowing slightly. Hisoka did nothing, simply making eye contact with the man. The piercing yellow eyes met the ice-blue, and both men stared unsmilingly at each other for a good five minutes until Silve nodded curtly at the two and walked away.
“I guess I’ve met your father now,” Hisoka said cheerfully. Illumi just stared in silence for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.
“My family is weird,” he concluded.
“You didn’t know?” Hisoka asked sarcastically, shutting up but still smiling after Illumi shot him a look.
Within the last half an hour, Hisoka had met majority of the Zoldyck family– in some of the most unpleasant ways possible. Illumi sighed deeply; there was nothing he could do now except discipline Hisoka to not express his… eccentricities again.
On the other hand, the magician looked absolutely delighted to be wandering the halls of the Zoldyck estate. Tapestries hung from the walls, depicting regal pictures of the last five generations of Zoldyck heirs. All of them, Hisoka noted, had the same white hair and blue eyes of Silva, Zeno, and Killua– not the black hair and onyx eyes of his Illu.
When asked about this, Illumi set his jaw and only replied, “the ones with white hair and blue eyes always become the heir. That’s all I know.”
The magician frowned. “So because you were born with different hair, you automatically can never become the heir?”
“Hisoka, my family does not work the way most others do,” the assassin snapped.
“But–”
“What, you think I didn’t want to be heir? You think I’m not jealous of Killu–” he stopped short, staring at Hisoka’s expression.
It was one of pity, an emotion that was completely alien to the carved features of the magician’s face.
“I don’t need pity, Hisoka,” Illumi sputtered, only for Hisoka to completely ignore him and step forward, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug that was so chock-full of love and affection that Illumi couldn’t help but relax and let his head droop onto the magician’s shoulder. Hisoka only held him tighter, whispering, "You're ten times what they are, Illu."
Illumi pulled away and stared into the soul of the magician whom he loved with all of his cold heart. "I love you," he blurted out.
Hisoka's eyebrows shot up in surprise.
Illumi took a deep breath and continued, "It's always you that says it first, and I thought I'd do it once. So… I love you, Hisoka. A lot more than you think."
"I love you too, darling," Hisoka replied, his eyes soft with affection. "Many, many more times than you think."
"Now," the magician continued, taking Illumi by the hand, "I suggest you go to sleep and get a good night's rest. You’ll need it."
Perplexed, Illumi went with Hisoka, who had a knowing glint in his eye as he walked him to the lavish bedroom upstairs– one that was, in fact, much more lavish than Hisoka’s own penthouse. The magician finally realized how rich the Zoldycks really were as he stared at the solid gold knocker on the mahogany door. “... Is this really necessary?’ he asked Illumi, who responded with a half-shrug, half-nod.
“My family is… extravagant.”
“I was aware. Now go to sleep.”
Illumi was pushed into the bedroom, and surprisingly, with no comment or attempt to get into bed with him, Hisoka bade him a mysterious goodbye and slunk away.
The assassin glanced around his massive room, seeming ten times bigger than the last time he had been here. As he gazed at the bed, large enough for ten people, he remembered the dozens of times his siblings had crept into it at night, asking to sleep next to Illumi because they had had nightmares. He thought of Killua, sleeping in the room right next door, Milluki, holed up in his pigsty upstairs, Kalluto, still sleeping with his parents, and Alluka.
Alluka, who was in isolation.
Alluka, who still smiled despite being locked in a basement on her own.
Alluka, who he had fought for when his parents proposed the idea of putting her in isolation. He had pushed and argued for her to have as much of a normal life.
The only thing he gained out of that was hours of endless torture.
The bed seemed hard and cold with dark memories as he lay on it, twisting and turning for the next few hours, thinking about everything he had gone through in this house, and everything he hadn’t ever experienced–
Until Hisoka had stepped into his life, full of sly smiles and secret kisses and bear hugs and things Illumi had never even imagined until the magician had made his appearance.
All that did was hit Illumi with the realization that, no, he was nowhere close to normal. While others his age went out to drink and party and got knocked up and cheated on their partners, he was sitting here assassinating people like breathing– growing attached to no one except his family, and coming home diligently after every job, back to his endless life of caring for his family and living with his family and living for his family.
“Hey, Illu, do you want this?”
He stared at Hisoka, dressed in a sweater and pants, holding out a humongous teddy bear and smirking.
“I won it,” he shrugged, “and I already have a few of these, so I thought I’d give it to you.”
Slightly dazed, he reached out and took it gingerly from the magician. The teddy bear sported a menacing-looking smile, stuffed to the brim with fluff and staring into Illumi’s soul.
“Thank you,” he managed to say. The crowd around them awwww’d, evidently thinking they were a couple. They shut up after a death glare from Illumi.
“Want to play that, Darling?” Hisoka asked him as they walked down the street, surrounded by colorful stalls boasting huge prizes and “easy games.” Hisoka, in question, was pointing at a game that involved something like shooting a clown down with a rifle.
“Alright,” Illumi said, adding a “I’ll imagine the clown is you,” at the end (for comedic effect, he presumed.)
Hisoka put his hands over his heart in mock offense. “How you wound me, Illu,” he said, putting on a fake, desperate voice.
He almost snorted and walked up to the guy who ran the stand, a seedy-looking man with pimples all over his face, wearing a baseball cap that covered half his eyes. “Four hundred jenny,” he proclaimed as soon as he saw the assassin coming towards him.
“I’ll pay,” Hisoka said gratuitously, pushing Illumi out of the way and slamming a few notes down on the table.
“Thank you,” Illumi said again, handing him the teddy bear to hold. Picking up the rifle and aiming at the center of the clown’s garish red nose, he fired before the guy running the stand could even explain the rules.
Needless to say, he walked out of the game holding a giant horse plushy that he decided he would give to Kalluto, who had a liking for animals.
“Hey, Illu,” Hisoka started as they were about to exit the carnival.
Illumi glanced at him. “Yes?”
“Would you like to go on the Ferris Wheel?” Hisoka asked, guiding his gaze to the enormous wheel that lit up the night sky, dozens of people laughing and screaming as they rose.
He frowned. “It looks unpleasant.”
“Trust me, it’s not. Let’s give it a try,” Hisoka interrupted him, grabbing his slender hands and almost dragging him to the wheel, despite Illumi’s protests.
He stayed silent through the ride, a sign of his displeasure at Hisoka literally forcing him on the ride. The magician, however, was peering over the edge in excitement, sucking cotton candy dust off of his fingers and waving at the random people down below.
All ideas of protest disappeared after they reached the top and the whole wheel stopped. “Wha–? Is it broken?” Illumi gripped the sides of the car tightly. “Hisoka, I told you not to–”
“Shhh,” the magician cut in. “This is the point. Just look down.”
And Illumi did, eyes widening and gasping slightly when he saw the whole city spread out in front of them. The sounds of children shrieking in joy, adults laughing drunkenly, people holding hands and yelling and screaming and kissing and doing everything that was a part of life. And he looked back to stare at Hisoka, who was smiling.
“See? It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
“It is.” Illumi was still awestruck at the sheer amount he could see and hear and feel and taste from up there.
Hisoka smiled affectionately. “You’ve never been to a carnival, have you, Illu?”
“I haven’t,” Illumi replied, tearing his eyes away from the view.
“How do you like it?”
“It’s…” Illumi took a deep breath. “It’s wonderful. Thank you, Hisoka.”
The magician only smiled and touched Illumi’s cheek.
That was it. That was the memory Illumi had sunk into and basked in for minutes until he was rudely snapped back into the reality, where he was lying on his cold bed and watching the fireplace crackle to ashes. The depressing setting of it all amused him; here he was, at his house with his parents and his– well, his boyfriend, all in the same place at the same time. Anything could happen, things in his wildest dreams and things he could very easily predict.
His flurry of random thoughts was interrupted by the door slowly creaking open. On full instinct, Illumi sprang to the corner of the room, pins out pointing directly at whoever had just entered.
“Calm down, Darling, it’s just me,” came the oh-so-familiar voice of the magician as Hisoka padded into the room wearing sweatpants and socks.
“What do you want, Hisoka?” Illumi slowly descended from where he was perched in the corner of the ceiling.
“Do you might coming with me?” Hisoka slyly glanced at Illumi, his eyes bright.
“If we go sneaking out in the middle of the night, my parents will literally kill you,” came the cold reply.
“We’re not sneaking out,” Hisoka said in mock offense. “I just want to take you somewhere. We’ll be back before you know it.”
Illumi glared at those luminescent yellow eyes, sighing. “I can’t–” Ah, screw it. “...Fine, but be quick with it.”
Hisoka only smiled, draping an arm over Illumi’s shoulders as they walked out of his room, neither one making a sound as they more-or-less tiptoed across the velvet carpeting. “Where are you taking me, Hisoka?” The assassin asked in frustration as they walked outside to the courtyard, where a single fountain stood, a statue of the Zoldyck family atop it. Hisoka didn’t reply; he only gripped Illumi’s shoulders tighter.
“I wanted to give you something,” he finally said after they had stopped in front of a group of trees. It was pitch-black outside, the only light source being Hisoka’s glowing lemon eyes.
“Like a present?” Illumi asked, trying to recall any special occasions. His birthday? No, that wasn’t until later. Their anniversary? No, Hisoka didn’t care for things like that. “... Why?” He finally asked.
Hisoka shrugged, smiling fondly at the oldest Zoldyck. “Just a little something.” He stepped around and behind Illumi, motioning for him to continue looking forward.
“Hisoka, what are you–” Illumi stopped and was suddenly unable to find any oxygen or move his eyes from where he was facing, because Hisoka had snapped his fingers and everything around them had lit up, illuminating the spot where they stood. Shadows danced around them, and Illumi stared and stared and stared at the beauty of it all, until he gasped for air and sputtered, “I– It’s beautiful– how did you–”
And the breath was knocked out of him again as he turned around to tell Hisoka how much he loved him, or to thank Hisoka, or to say anything to Hisoka–
But Hisoka in question was down on one knee, arms outstretched and holding open a box with a circular object in it– one that looked suspiciously like a ring. Illumi’s eyes only grew wider and wider as he stared, slack-jawed at the magician.
Hisoka smiled, gazing up at his awestruck lover. “Illumi Zoldyck… will you make me the happiest magician on Earth and do the honor of marrying me?”
He was followed by silence.
“I–” Illumi attempted to speak, failing miserably as he willed tears not to well up in his eyes– something that puzzled him, really– he had never cried, even when family members had died. Not one memory of his involved crying. He presumed he had cried as an infant, obviously, but after he reached a certain age, crying was almost illegal in the Zoldyck household.
Then why the hell was Hisoka’s proposal making him want to bury his face in Hisoka’s shirt and sob all his bodily fluids out?
Thoughts of the consequences of accepting rushed into his mind; his family would surely disown him, he would never be able to speak to his parents again, he could never be an assassin, he and Hisoka would be in constant fear of the Zoldycks–
But the thing that scared him the most was what would happen if he refused. The thought of a life without Hisoka terrified him; he didn’t know why, but it did– he could still speak to his siblings over the phone, anyway, and he never liked his parents all that much–
Realization hit him in the face like a truck. He didn’t love his parents. Despite what Kikyo stressed, the undying love between the Zoldycks, the ugly truth was that they were hanging by a thread– the thread of having no other person to go to other than each other.
Killua had broken the thread that attached him to his family when he found Gon.
Illumi’s thread was stretching, ready to snap as he walked farther and farther away from his family, from the “love” that was so forced and pressurizing that it ceased to exist.
Illumi loved Killua.
Despite it all, Illumi still loved Alluka.
Illumi loved Kalluto, and as much as he was a pig, he still loved Milluki. But the toxicity and the neglect and the torture his parents had put him through–
Whatever love that existed between them had disappeared long, long, long ago. And it took the love from a murderous magician for Illumi to realize that.
Illumi loved Hisoka.
Taking a deep breath, perhaps the slowest of his life, the assassin– no, not the assassin, just Illumi– gazed into the eyes of the man he would give up his life for.
“Yes.”