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Touya likes when Akito is clingy. It’s physical contact that makes him feel comfortable so much of the time.
It’s nice, he thinks, when they’re walking side-by-side, and Akito reaches for his hand, lacing their fingers together. When Touya glances over to him, and sees he’s staring away from him out of embarrassment.
Sometimes when Akito is sitting next to him, he wants to lean on Touya’s shoulder. Soon after, Akito will close his eyes before smiling a little bit; something he does so often when it’s only the two of them. The contact makes him content and it makes Touya smile back and lean on him in response.
He’ll occasionally put his arm around Touya, causing him to have to lean down enough to make their height difference less obvious. He’s pretty sure Akito doesn’t even notice this, but to him, it’s cute.
The way he’s picked up the habit of messing up Touya’s hair after everything with his father makes him smile. He never minds it because he knows Akito is happy for him and that makes it all the better in his eyes.
How he might give Touya a quick kiss on the lips before he leaves to do something for a while, but only when he’s sure no one is around to see it. He’s never sure when it’ll happen because they have moments like this so much. Between running schedules with a part time job, committee work, helping the soccer club, and practice stuck in them, Touya can never tell how Akito knows just the right timing for catching him off guard in a good way.
Still, it’s worth it when he sees the small grin on Akito’s face as he walks off to do whatever else he needs to. It makes Touya feel warm, knowing how amazing Akito can make him feel without even trying.
The contact doesn’t always come from the happiest things, but Touya will always stay for it anyway.
It can come from the two of them laying next to each other, Akito’s face buried in his chest, not saying a word. He’s hugging Touya, not showing his expression.
It’s hard to guess what Akito is thinking when it’s like this, but he can figure it out on most days.
There’s days when his hugs are tight, and he’s barely moving. He thinks of how much Akito bottles up, never showing it to anyone. It’s almost reassuring to feel it happen, but it makes him sad too. Knowing how much of this he’s held in and for how long he’s done it alone.
All the insecurity he keeps away from everyone, thinking of himself as a burden to everyone and nothing more. It makes Touya feel truly empty to his very core, the feeling stuck in his chest, knowing someone he cares about so much thinks so little of himself. Akito can’t help it, of course he can’t, but it makes him upset all the same.
It’s rare, when Akito leans back and cries a little while thinking like this. He hates doing it, Touya’s sure of that. He’s ashamed of it, the same way he’s ashamed of how he acted before they had met.
It’s one of these rare times, a few minutes after he bitterly wipes away his tears with his sleeve, that he whispers, “Touya?” He’s leaned away from his chest enough that Touya can see his face clearly; his eyes are still red after crying, there’s a small smile on his face, and his gaze on him is fonder than Touya’s ever seen it before.
“Mmm...” He quietly mumbles in response. Akito’s never done this after crying before. Seeing Akito like this has suddenly made him feel soft, near speechless because it takes his breath away.
He lets a moment pass before whispering again, even quieter this time. “I love you. Thank you for being here with me.” He notices now, the growing blush on Akito’s face, and it makes him realize he’s smiling along.
It’s the first time he’s said that, but Touya doesn’t need to hesitate. He inches closer, pressing a kiss into Akito’s hair. “I love you too. But if you’re going to thank me for that, I would have to thank you for the same, you know.”
He hears Akito breathe out a laugh and it makes Touya feel warm all over again. “I guess so…”
Because it’s true. Akito would do the same for him and has done the same for him.
It’s another type of moment that Touya lets his thoughts drift to. When he’ll bury himself in Akito’s chest, hoping to shut out so much of the pain.
It’s the times when he remembers how suffocating it was, how classical music had trapped him for so long and how he thought he would never truly be free. The fear that this would be all he had, all he would ever get from life. He’s stronger than he was before, he knows this, but being stronger doesn’t mean having moved on completely.
He stays there with him, pulling him closer. He’s comforting and a reminder that he is free and that he has become stronger.
Akito being by his side is the best reminder of this he could ever have, really. So much started when they met and so much will continue on as they work toward the dream they share. He’s sure that the moment they reach that dream together, it’ll be another thing he won’t ever want to forget.