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“Sam Wilson, former Avenger known as the Falcon, has now introduced himself as the nation’s new Captain America. He and his partner, Sergeant James Barnes, formerly known as the Winter Soldier, were leading heroes in last week’s terrorist attempt to storm the GRC to change the vote on relocating people. They successfully rescued hostages from-”
The television was put in mute as Bucky tiredly wiped his eyes, placing the remote on the floor next to the pile of blankets he sat on. It had been a week since he departed from Sam, and he felt more empty than he had before. Glancing around his empty apartment, seeing the time on the oven that read 3:39 AM.
Bucky laid back down on the hardwood floor, staring at the ceiling with tired eyes. He had a few nightmares since before going to Europe with Sam, and it was still difficult to sleep. He managed to fall asleep, but his intrusive thoughts had awoken him, as they always did. He followed Sam’s advice, and took the leap out of the hell that he was in. Going to Yori and telling him the truth was the hardest thing to do, but it was something he had to do.
Sam had been a big help, and whether Bucky wanted to admit it or not, he did miss him. He confided more in him than he did with his own therapist. He felt safer when he was with Sam, and that scared him. Bucky was sure that Sam hated him after his constant hounding about the shield, but after everything they went through, everything with Karli, with Walker, and with Zemo, he missed him. A little more than friends should.
Bucky groaned as he sat up, grabbing his phone. He massaged his sore muscles as he saw a text message from Sam and immediately opened it, his blue eyes scanning over the message.
Hey, man. I’ll be in New York on Wednesday. Gives me an excuse to see that apartment of yours.
Bucky smiled to himself as his thumbs ghosted over the keyboard, unsure of what to respond. He looked around his apartment, noting to buy more things to make it homey. Maybe a coffee table, some small plants, a few pictures here and there. He shook himself out of his thoughts as he looked back down at his phone.
Just let me know when you’re in Brooklyn and I’ll maybe clean up the apartment for you. Maybe we could order in, and you can show me one of those movies that you never shut up about.
Hey, don’t talk bad about ‘Back to the Future’ until you watch it. Steve thought it was a good watch, maybe it’s a common thing with fossils.
You should respect your elders, Wilson. I maybe a 106, but I can still kick your ass.
Sure, Sergeant. Whatever you say ;)
Bucky chuckled lightly as he locked his phone, smiling to himself. He bit his lip as he looked around his small apartment. If Sam was gonna come over, he had to make his living space look like someone actually lived there.
By noon that day, Bucky had managed to fill his small apartment with more things, a coffee table with small decorative plants, a larger couch that could fit three people, and two ottomans that he bought at a nearby furniture store. After he managed to make his apartment look somewhat livable, he went out again, not looking for anything in particular.
Bucky walked around the busy streets of New York, and just as he was about to head back to his apartment, a nearby store caught his eye. He turned his head, seeing a small pet shop, and without thinking, he found himself walking through the entrance, stepping into the small shop. He walked around, his blue eyes widening as he looked at birds, snakes, guinea pigs, hamsters and gerbils.
He remembered Dr. Raynor once said how a pet would help him with his nightmares and PTSD, and anxiety. Bucky walked through the rows of pet supplies before he made his way to the back of the shop, laying his eyes where the puppies and kittens were. He smiled to himself as he leaned down, his attention caught by a small white cat with the bluest eyes imaginable. The cat looked up at him with her eyes, her ears twitching as she moved her body up against the glass.
“May I help you, sir?” Bucky looked around, seeing a young woman with a smile on her face. “Are you interested in adopting?”
“Uh,” Bucky looked back at the cat, and watched with a smile as she pressed her paw up against the glass. “yeah, actually. This white one, how old is she?” The clerk stepped up beside him, reading over the piece of paper that was taped to the glass.
“She’s about two years old, she’s up to date with her vaccinations and is very friendly. She was dropped off a few weeks ago for being ‘too aggressive’, but I think that was all a lie. She’s a sweetheart, so you needn’t worry, sir.” Bucky smiled as he placed his gloved finger up against the glass, watching as the cat placed her tiny paw over it. “Are you interested in taking her home?”
Bucky nodded, smiling to himself. “Yeah.” he mumbled as the clerk nodded and went into the back room, gently taking the cat from her cubby and placing her in a cardboard box that had a series of holes. “Sorry, do you think you could help me with… getting the supplies and stuff? I have no idea where to start.” Bucky asked nervously as the clerk enthusiastically nodded her head.
“Of course! We’ll get you started with some food, treats, toys, a collar and tag and a cat tower… if that’s alright with you?” Bucky nodded as the young woman handed in the box. He grasped the handle and stuck his finger in one of the holes, smiling to himself as the feline rubbed her face against his finger.
“That’s perfect.”
By the end of the night, Bucky entered his small Brooklyn apartment with his hands full of cat supplies and toys. He gingerly placed the wooden box on the floor and placed the cat tower in the corner of the living room, aligning it with the couch that was placed up against the wall. He gathered all the supplies and placed them on the counter, and he moved his attention back to the small box.
The super soldier sat cross-legged on the floor, carefully he opened the flaps of the box and peered inside, his face breaking out in a smile when his eyes landed on the white fur ball. He stuck out his vibranium fingers, and the feline curiously sniffed at them, rubbing her cheek against his fingers. Bucky smiled as he picked her up out of the box and placed her on the hardwood floor.
“Okay, I’ve never done… this before, so this is gonna be new for the both of us.” Bucky said, digging into his pockets for the small collar he had purchased. “They say having a cat is another step for therapy.” He clipped the collar around her fluffy neck and smiled. “So, Alpine, we’re gonna help each other out in the best way we can.”
Alpine looked up at him, slowly blinking before she climbed into his lap, soft purrs emitting from her body. Bucky smiled and ran his metal hand down her spine, curling up against the couch with her in his lap. “Just… I know sometimes it can be a lot - I - can be a lot, but just be patient with me, yeah?” Bucky said, looking down at the purring cat in his arms. She looked at him, and a small mrow passed her furry lips, and Bucky’s face. They sat in silence for a while, the only noise filtering through the small apartment was the distinct honking from the busy streets below.
Bucky ran his hand down Alpine’s back, stirring out of his daze when his phone vibrated. He reached for his phone, and his face lit up, seeing a new message from Sam.
We still on for food and a movie at your place tomorrow? I can pick up the food.
Bucky couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as he quickly texted him back.
Yeah, you can come by whenever.
He placed his phone down on the floor, continuing to stroke Alpine’s fur. “You know, I have this friend,” Bucky began, and he watched as the feline picked her head up, placing it on his arm. “I met him a while ago, but when I first met him, I wasn’t really me. He helped me get out of a really bad situation, and at first we didn’t get along. But then the craziest thing happened, you probably don’t know about it ‘cause you're just a cat, but half of the world disappeared, including him and I. But when we came back, everything changed.”
Painful memories flooded Bucky’s mind, memories in Wakanda, memories of Steve hugging him before leaving, Tony Stark’s funeral, the battle that took place at the Avengers Compound. But through it all, he stood by Bucky’s side through it all.
“His name is Sam, and he used to get on my nerves all the damn time. He still does, don’t get me wrong.” Alpine mewed at him, slowly blinking her blue eyes. “After spending time with him, realizing that he was there when I had no one, made me realize that I think… I think I love him.” Bucky whispered, a small smile forming on his lips, but as soon as it came, it quickly disappeared. “But he probably doesn’t feel the same,” he said quietly.
He looked around his apartment, seeing the new furniture and cat toys, sighing to himself. “I suppose we should get to bed.” he muttered as he held Alpine to his chest and stood up with her in his grasp, making his way to his empty room.
Alpine curiously wandered throughout the small apartment the next night, sniffing around her food and water bowl, her basket of toys and her new cat tower, rubbing her white fur along the posts. Bucky watched with a small smile as he waited anxiously for Sam, sitting at the counter as he impatiently tapped his vibranium fingers against the counter.
He was about to get up and pace around his living room when a knocking sound erupted throughout the small living space, causing Alpine to jump up on the tower, her tail puffy from the disruption. Bucky cleared his throat and opened the door, smiling when he saw Sam with a bag of Chinese food and a pack of beers.
“Ah, so the bionic staring machine lives!” Sam chuckled as Bucky reached for the beers, allowing Sam to step into his apartment. “Wow, it actually looks like someone lives here.” Sam said, turning to Bucky, who chuckled nervously.
“I’m trying to live a little.”
“How’s that workin’ out for you?”
Bucky shrugged. “It’s not bad when you have the right friend.” he said softly, tearing his blue gaze away from Sam’s. Sam smiled softly, patting Bucky’s arm before making his way over to the couch.
“Well hello there,” Bucky heard Sam, and he quickly turned around, seeing him wave his finger at Alpine, who rubbed her cheek against it. “and who is this lovely lady?”
“Alpine, she’s, uh, she’s my cat. I heard that cats make great therapy pets, and that they help a lot with PTSD and stuff.” Bucky said as he brought the food to the coffee table, getting two bottles of beer.
“Never took you for a cat person, Buck.” Sam said with a smile, and Bucky felt himself go weak in the knees.
“Learning a lot about myself.” he mumbled as he and Sam both sat down, fidgeting with the remote.
“Alright old timer,” Sam began, and Bucky rifled through the takeout boxes, grabbing a fork and opening a box of noodles. “Steve loved this one, and I think you will too.” Bucky nodded as Sam sat back, grabbing a box and a fork, digging into the food.
Bucky didn’t pay attention to the movie, to Alpine begging for scraps, for his leg that anxiously began to bounce up and down, his attention was only on Sam, who had progressively moved closer to him. He wanted nothing more than to grasp Sam’s hand and hold it in his, but he had to maintain the boundary.
“Hey, you okay?” Sam asked, noticing Bucky’s leg. The super soldier nodded, giving him a tight lipped smile. Sam took in his face, seeing the dark circles under his eyes, the smile not reaching his eyes. “Trouble sleeping again?” he asked softly, and Bucky nodded.
“I’ve just had a lot on my mind… that’s all.”
“Like what?”
Like you.
“I-” Bucky stopped himself and looked at Sam, noticing how he turned his palm upwards, as if he was inviting Bucky to place his hand in Sam’s. He was also closer, their thighs pressing together. “I think I’m in love with you.” Bucky whispered, looking at Sam. “And I know I’m not worth your love, I know I was a complete ass to you about the shield, and I’ve done so much bad in this world, but Sam you make it so hard for me not to love you. You risked everything to help Steve keep me safe, you constantly checked up on me and you still do. I just-”
He was abruptly cut off as Sam placed his lips on Bucky’s, bringing his hand up to Bucky’s cheek. Sam tilted his head to deepen the kiss, feeling Bucky place his hands on his waist. He pulled away a moment later, resting his forehead against Bucky’s.
“If you ever talk about yourself like that again, I swear I’ll have Ayo teach me how to take off your arm, and I will beat you with it,” Sam said, grabbing Bucky’s face softly. “You deserve love, Buck. And I will happily give it to you. I love you, Bucky, you deserve to be happy.”
Bucky felt his chest tighten, overwhelmed with emotions, and he felt his eyes start to burn with tears. “I love you,” he whispered, and Sam opened his arms. Bucky fell into him, resting his head on Sam’s chest. Sam leaned back against the arm of the couch, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s shoulders, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.
“I love you too, Buck.”