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A gently swaying magnolia branch catches Felix's attention as he stops at the traffic light. Intense pink petals stand out in contrast against the backdrop of puffy clouds crawling across the azure sky. Somewhere above, several fat bees flicker. He wonders if anyone can get magnolias grown at home. Felix read that research is still ongoing and there is still no definitive list of plants yet. Why do specific flowers grow at one’s home when their soulmate smiles? Why does this start to happen exactly after their eyes meet for the first time? There is no answer, although this phenomenon has been going on for centuries and is already the norm, people just got used to it. Maybe there are no answers to some questions.
Felix has never met soulmates; in a rapidly growing world, this was a rarity. There are too many people to meet the very person that the universe has somehow picked for you. It even seemed to him that this does not happen. Why do you need a soulmate when everything is fine anyway? His parents are ordinary people and still love each other. He does not consider it an important goal to find his own. If there is none then there is none, his life will not get any worse. And he was indifferent to flowers anyway.
In the morning, Felix gets up and lazily washes his face, closing his eyes and moving the brush automatically. The toothpaste smells like concentrated green tea with a hint of citrus. Only the citrus helps to get back to his senses a bit. He runs his fingers through the snowy hair, rubs the circles under the eyes and exits. The head is buzzing a little after yesterday. He did not drink much, but the music in the club was so damn loud that his skull rattled. Throwing the blanket over the bed, he goes into the kitchen, turns on the electric kettle and freezes, turning.
A bundle of blue phloxes stands on the corner of the table. The absolutely smooth petals are of a calm pastel shade and cover the green stem. He certainly did not bring it. Felix inhales sharply and examines the flower with almost dismay, leaning close to it. The stem literally grew out of the wooden surface of the table. He touches it with his finger, still in disbelief. It is real. A real flower grew in his house by itself. Heart falters, skipping a beat.
There is a rustling behind. Felix turns around and sees that another one has appeared on the countertop near the sink. And when he returns to the room on stiff legs, he sees phloxes on the bedside table. Inside, the disturbed sea rushes excitedly. Hands freeze lost in the air, the body does not understand what to do, consciousness accelerates to an incredible speed. He has a soulmate. He actually has a soulmate who seems to like to smile. Felix does not notice how a bewildered smile appears on his own lips. Now it is the turn of the unknown person to be surprised at his first flower.
“Well listen, it could be anyone,” Changbin spreads his arms as Felix tells him what happened. “That DJ CB97 is a popular dude in his circles, hordes of people go to look at him.”
“Fuck, why did we meet there?” Felix sighs heavily. “How the hell am I supposed to find him now?”
“Or her,” Changbin adds, then frowns. “Oh, well, yeah, in your case, it’s probably him. If the universe didn’t pull a huge ass prank on you.”
“Considering that I’m unlikely to be able to find him again, it already did.”
They sit on a bench by the lecture room, putting their faces in the cool breezes of the air conditioner. In the head, thoughts are seething, bubbling. Crossing with a soulmate and immediately losing them is much more frustrating than never meeting. They saw each other. They were in the same room, maybe even stood nearby. Changbin comes to the same conclusion.
“You didn't get all handsy with anyone there yesterday?”
“No. I literally sat next to you at the bar.”
“Well, maybe there was something at some point, how would I know?” Changbin inhales thoughtfully through clenched jaws. “Maybe you should post an ad?”
“That's too much,” Felix waves his hand away. “I'm not looking for a lost dog.”
“You are looking for your soulmate - the person destined for you by fate. Seven and a half billion people on the planet, and less than a thousand find each other a year. Less than a thousand among such a shit ton of people, you realize that? And you ran into each other at some fucking club.”
“Then we will run into each other again, if it’s true fate.”
Felix is curious about who his soulmate is, but he is not going to make this a goal of his life. So far, he still does not realize what this means. A complete sense of the situation that came out of nowhere did not come to him. When he woke up in the morning, everything was as usual. Only fifteen minutes later it became clear that now nothing will be as usual. Because when he comes home, the muffled, subtle smell of phloxes hits his nose.
Three new bundles on the table, two on the headboard, one on the closet. The house will now have pastel blue spots, constantly reminding that his soulmate is walking somewhere. After a couple of days, Felix starts playing the game of guessing the location of the new flowers. He is surprised to find them even on the washing machine. It seems that there were no restrictions. Actually, he is happy for him. Since his soulmate smiles so much, then everything is fine with him.
Sometimes there are more new phloxes, sometimes less, it is possible to roughly track the general mood of a particular day by them. Felix tries to remember their locations, sprinkles them with a purchased spray bottle and tries not to harm them too much, although he has to rip a couple off the mattress on which he needs to sleep. At first, he thinks that this somehow affects his well-being, because the next day he suddenly begins to feel uneasy, tense, as if expecting some kind of blow from the side. However, nothing is said about this on the Internet, others write that picking flowers does not affect the soulmates themselves in any way. But this whirlwind of worries and the limp rolling up to the throat continue to swirl.
Felix does not immediately notice that the new flowers have stopped appearing. At first, he thinks that he was mistaken, and goes around his entire small apartment several times, peering into the clusters of blue bundles that have gathered into the bushes. He even takes several photographs and, checking with them a day later, realizes that nothing new has really appeared. The thought that his soulmate is gone shoots with ice needles and frightens him to nausea, but then he remembers that after the death of the soulmate, the flowers instantly wither. According to what he read, it was the scariest moment everyone feared. See that the lush garden no longer exists.
A stupid anxiety rolls over. Something happened. Something happened that made his smiling soulmate not smile for several days in a row. Under the ribs, it begins to ache and Felix, confused, rubs his chest with his hand. He does not even know him. No face, no name, no character, nothing. He has no idea what kind of person he is, but he felt a change in his state even before he noticed that phloxes stopped growing. So what does that mean? Can they feel each other now? Moreover, he worries about him. About a blurred phantom of another person, and he worries so that his appetite disappears and insomnia begins.
Felix wants to help, but does not know how. This has been going on for almost a week and he feels a slight decrease in tension, but the flowers still do not appear. Desperate, he grabs a soft bundle of pastel phloxes, closes his eyes and concentrates. He imagines how the warmth from his palms passes into a flower and rushes through space "to the other side."
“Everything will be fine. Whatever happened, everything will surely pass,” he whispers firmly, straining his mind and grabbing onto this twisted spiral of other’s emotions mixed with his own. “Everything will be alright.”
He does not know if such an exchange is possible and whether his soulmate will feel at least a drop of what he is trying to convey, but this is the maximum that he can do. Trying to distract himself, Felix thoughtlessly rummages through the Internet. He scrolls through the headlines on the news portal, frowning at the familiar name. “DJ CB97 is accused of bullying his classmate from Miroh High School.” The same DJ who played on the night he crossed paths with his soulmate. Felix opens the article and reads that a DJ named Bang Christopher himself has denied all charges and is cooperating with a lawyer. By clicking on the link below, he goes to his Instagram.
Yes, he remembers him. Despite his bit large nose, his face was pleasant and open, on some photographs dimples could be seen. The inner corners of the eyes are unusual, round and resemble drops, the hair outside the stage seems to curl slightly, this can be seen on home photographs. Felix follows the account giving him the benefit of the doubt. If something pops up, he can always hit the unfollow button. Not that he checks Instagram often, but let it be.
He remembers about it only two days later, when on the screen there is a notification that Christopher has started a live broadcast. Felix usually did not watch broadcasts, only if from accounts with a certain topic that interested him, but there was just nothing to do in the evening, so he opens it and puts the phone on the books. Let it play in the background while he copies Changbin's notes into his notebook.
“Hello everyone, glad to see you,” the room is filled with a ringing, but not loud voice, in which a slight nervousness was felt. “I'll wait until a few more people join in.”
Felix guesses that he is going to talk about his scandal. He did not check the news, maybe some new details were published, since the DJ decided to appeal personally like this, and even go live, where nothing can be taken back.
“So, most of you have probably already seen the article and know everything,” Christopher begins a minute later. “As I said, I would never harm another person in any way. The charges were brought up by a guy I’ve never seen in my life, and he has nothing to do with my school nor me. I don't know why he did it, but I already thought about it and decided to sue him for defamation. Because if you forgive such people every time, then there’s gonna be more and more of them, which cannot be allowed to happen. This is a huge stress for the accused, who are not guilty of anything, now I know this from my own experience.”
The tip of the pen taps on the page, leaving black dots. Felix looks up at the screen. So he really is innocent. Felix feels sorry for him. Christopher was not even such a famous artist, but someone decided to ruin his reputation anyway.
“Thank you everyone who supported me and worried about me. I'm sorry that you had to go through this, but I was really pleased to know that so many people believed me to the last and patiently waited for the official resolution of the situation. I’m always honest with you.”
Deep dimples appear near the corners of his lips when he smiles appreciatively. Felix is glad that everything worked out well. He does not really know him, but he understands that it was hard for him, especially considering that not all users behave adequately and are waiting for proof. The notebook rustles from a sudden interference from the side. A bundle of phloxes is rapidly growing to the right of it. Felix exhales in surprise. They finally appeared? He is fine? Relief spreads down the chest, as if all this time it had been tied by ropes that were now gone. Will everything get back to normal now?
“Yes, the police have already contacted him,” Christopher, meanwhile, responded to comments floating on the screen. “Let's forget about that, okay? We’re not gonna bring up either him or that stupid situation, we’ve had enough of that negative bullshit. Do you want me to put some music in the background?”
Christopher partially disappears from the frame to pull up the laptop. A quarter of a minute later, a moderate melody begins to play, which was not too slow to the point of dullness, but also did not sound like a dancing one. He fiddles with the volume a little so that it does not interrupt him, and returns to the comments again, answering questions and explaining something in passing.
“Oh yeah, I think I'm gonna play in the District this weekend, I've already made half the killing set, so come along.”
He lifts his chin proudly, then smiles, chuckling softly. Felix, who has forgotten about the notes, after listening to his pleasant voice, notices the movement with a peripheral vision. Another bundle of such familiar phloxes appeared on the far corner of the desk. The eyes return to the screen. The theory that flashed through is so delusional that at first he does not even want to process it with his consciousness. It cannot be.
“Right, I saw that meme about a pumpkin cake, God, I couldn’t even breathe, it was hilarious.”
Christopher smiles widely again, nodding his head. Lightly curled hazel locks bounce on his forehead. There is a rustling behind. Felix turns around and sees flowers on the bathroom door handle. The heart begins to flutter nervously. The timing was too perfect for such a coincidence. Three times in a row. Felix blinks a couple times, remembering that night. Did they really cross their eyes once? He remembers looking at him, but because of the running spotlights, Christopher's face was often in shadow. But if it really is him... Felix can feel a tingling sensation above the diaphragm and smiles lightly, barely stretching his lips. Could this be…?
“Oh.”
Christopher, who was looking at the comments section, squints at the movement on the screen, then turns around. Blue phloxes cut through the wall behind him. Felix chokes on air. He cannot believe his eyes.
“Well, I think I need to confess something to you guys,” Christopher chuckles awkwardly and rubs the back of his head. “Although, I think you yourself see everything already. I seem to have found an unknown soulmate.”
Felix squeezes his head. It seems that it is about to explode and fly up like a can of cola, which was shaken for a long time, and then thrown onto sharp stones.
“If you're watching this, then thanks for worrying about me. I felt it and I felt support too. I'm fine now, so smile like you used to, okay? I love all these flowers. So, can you maybe give me more if you heard me?”
He did feel it after all. Indeed, because of the worries, Felix also practically stopped smiling, except for the moments when he was with his friends and got distracted by their chatter. This means that there were also fewer flowers in Christopher’s house, he knew that he was worried about him. Felix is now smiling fully and sincerely. Found him.
“Thank you,” Christopher looks contentedly at the phloxes appearing at the edge of the desk. “So... contact me? If you want to. We could have dinner together. God, it’s so embarrassing.”
Christopher covers his face with his hands and laughs deeply, blushing. With a delay of a couple of seconds, flowers appear on the glass of the Felix's window. His palms start to sweat nervously and he wipes them on his home pants. Confused fingers twirl the pen, put it back, then pick it up again. His foot taps on the seam in the parquet floor. What is now? Should he really text him? Felix bites his lip, peeling off a piece of dry skin - a stupid habit.
“Are you a fucking idiot?!” Changbin's voice, flying up to several tones, indignantly yells at him from the speaker. “You should be bombarding his DMs already, why the hell are you sitting there on your ass and thinking about it?”
“What if he gets upset that I'm a guy? Or what if he won't like me?”
“You moron, you’re soulmates, you can't help but like each other, this just doesn't happen. Jesus, when making out with some random dude at the party then you were the first to start, but here you’re bitching out when you’re not even supposed to.”
“I got drunk then, okay?” Felix says and exhales. “It's just… we don't even know each other. This is so strange.”
“Look, some people wander around some stupid ass find-your-soulmate gatherings for years and to no avail. And you guys found each other AGAIN by accident. If this is not a sign, then I don’t know what is. Okay, I’m gonna make this short and clear. If you keep being a dimwit, I'll text him myself, since you're so scared.”
“Don’t. It will get worse.”
“Then stop pissing your pants and go already. He’s afraid that he won’t like him... Found a soulmate and is still showing off, Jesus fucking Christ, this guy, if only I...” Changbin's mumbling continues to sound distantly as he lowers the phone and presses the call end button.
Felix nervously buries his fingers in the hair. He understands that you need to be a complete idiot to miss such a chance. Since they turned out to be so connected, then everything should go well, then this is how it should be. However, he still does not want to impose, even if Christopher himself asked him to get in contact. The phone screen goes black and lights up several times before he finally opens a chat on Instagram. A thin line flickers expectantly in the white box.
“Hello, it's me,” he types, and then erases it. “Hello. My name is Felix and we seem to be soulmates.”
Everything sounds stupid, he does not like it. Felix sighs heavily for the hundredth time, looking frantically at the input field with that stupid blinking stick that seems to be making fun of him. His thumb froze, puzzled, over the screen.
“Hi, my name is Felix. To be honest, I have no idea what I should write, I never thought that something like this would happen to me and I still don't fully understand what’s happening. I also started to get phloxes and during the broadcast the timing was too accurate to coincide, so it seems to me that you...” Felix hesitates, this word begins to seem too personal to write it openly in address to another person. “…you are my soulmate. Maybe I'm wrong. So yeah.”
Without giving himself time to think too much, he sends a message. The heart rushes in place with a fast gait. A quarter of a minute later, Felix still decides that this is not enough, and sends a photo of his room, where flowers sticking out from different places can be seen. There must be at least some proof. Deciding that he has used enough courage for one day, he puts the phone screen down on the desk and falls onto the bed.
What if this really is one huge coincidence? The lines of events just coincided with the other person. It would be very embarrassing, because Christopher may think that he is trying to approach him due to the fact that even if he is not very famous, he still is not the last DJ in Seoul. As if Felix is trying to hook up with a nice guy by a trick. Is it possible to feel, whether they are your soulmate, when being next to them? Felix thinks he read about it somewhere. There must be something like energy synchronization.
The familiar rustle of petals quietly sounds. Felix turns his head, still lying flat on the bed. Phloxes appeared above the light switch. Did he read his message and that is why he is smiling? After a minute, the phone vibrates. The diaphragm shrinks restlessly into one tight lump.
“Hi, I'm Chris but I think you already know that hahaha. Well I myself also don’t quite understand how to react to all this, it all just happened so abruptly. Let's check the dates. When did you start to get the flowers? "
Felix frowns slightly as he opens the calendar. It all started almost three weeks ago, after going to the club, so he is looking for a saved poster.
“April 7th. On the 6th I was in the District club and then in the morning on the 7th I saw phloxes at home."
Fingers restlessly tug at the seam at the corner of the pillow. If the numbers do not match, he will have to keep looking. He still does not consider finding a soulmate an important part of life, but the thought of being so close to someone with whom he shares a physically tangible connection was too powerful and haunted him. He seems to be slowly beginning to understand why some people become obsessed with this.
Cold palms sweat from the read message icon. Felix presses his back against the wall, legs tucked under him. Another pastel blue spot appears above the door, and after a couple of seconds the phone vibrates.
“Looks like we really are soulmates.”
We. Felix feels like a small old light bulb with crackling incandescent wires started to hum inside him. These heat up quickly and cool down for a long time. And the light on the other side of the wire seems to be on in exactly the same way. Distantly, but he can feel it.
“This is so weird,” he writes honestly, letting the first impulse control his typing fingers. “This whole thing with sensations. You get what I mean?”
“Yeah,” the answer comes almost immediately. “The second line of feelings, more like echoes even. They’re now constantly somewhere in the background.”
Exact description. Echoes of other person’s sensations now really floated somewhere in the background, at the same time being present and not imposing in such a way as to infuriate oneself. They were definitely there all the time, at especially strong moments getting confused with his own. This takes some getting used to.
"Would you like to have dinner together?" comes after a short pause.
Felix lifts his finger to start typing as another message arrives.
“Or am I rushing things? We didn't really get to know each other hahaha I’m such an idiot. "
Felix feels funny because of that comment, an involuntary smile appears on the face.
"No, it's okay, let's meet"
"Are you free on Thursday?"
After making an appointment, Felix puts his phone down and falls onto the bed. They will see each other. He will see his soulmate. Another bunch of phloxes blooms on the ceiling. Soft petals sway rhythmically in the night air pouring through the window. So Christopher is smiling, probably also thinking about how things turned out. He is also looking forward to it. Felix covers his face with his hands and exhales noisily, trying to calm himself. An agitated hurricane is raging inside.
The hurricane continues to spin somewhere inside the diaphragm for all subsequent days until the meeting. Changbin eagerly teases his excitement, and Felix can only burn him with displeased looks, in fact, feeling like a fool. They will just get to know each other and talk, there is nothing special about it, it basically means nothing. However, he realizes that there was still something special about it. Such meetings do not happen every day. For most, they never do.
The house greets him with a replenished collection of phloxes again. It brings calmness - to return and touch the fresh petals, caused by someone else's joy, with his fingers. Sometimes the chest responds to this with subtle bursts of warmth. As if now someone else's happiness could contribute to his own.
Felix goes through his Instagram profile several times, peering at the photos. When Christopher stands behind the DJ stand in the twilight of the club, partially lost behind a veil of loose smoke, his serious gaze is sharply focused on the equipment, or in a predatory manner looks around the hall, reading the reaction. During another song, he jumps merrily, throwing one hand up, his eyes become laughing crescents. On the broadcast, he was slightly tired and nervous, anxiety and fear of a negative reaction literally could be read from the irises. Now Felix wonders what eyes he will look at him with. What will be in them?
At the appointed time, he stands near the cafe, which was symbolically entwined with deep purple clematis, descending from the very roof and gracefully enveloping the windows. Fingers are tapping on the phone, instead of a heart there is a small hummingbird rushing about in one place. Felix fixes his denim jacket put over a black T-shirt several times and brushes his hair with the fingers. He never been so worried even before the dates and he himself does not understand why. His life does not depend on this meeting.
Felix moves his head, looking for a familiar face. Even if he is shaking nervously, he wants to meet faster so that this anxiety will subside. Waiting is always harder, you have time to think of anything for yourself that will definitely never happen. Look towards the metro station, look towards the bus stop, repeat a hundred times. A warm wave passes along the right side of the chest. Felix turns automatically and sees a hazel shock of hair tossed in the wind.
Breathing is interrupted for straight five seconds. The rolled wave now spreads over the entire body, which becomes several times lighter like a ball filled with hot air. The hummingbird struggling inside freezes in awe and seems to settle, having got rid of the panic fog. All other people disappear from sight, the world around them feels like it was erased.
“Hi, Felix.”
Christopher comes up, smiling airily, and looks into his eyes with amazed enthusiasm. He catches his breath, it seems, having no physical strength to look away even for a moment. In warm eyes, there is curiosity and impossibly familiar softness. This is what you feel when you open the gate of the garden that leads to your home, after many years of wandering in other places. Felix recognizes this garden. He has never been to it, but he knows it.
“Hi.”
He realizes that he is smiling too, only when he hears his own voice. The world around them is gradually returning to its place, but the focus is still rigidly chained to the person in front.
“I came up with what I’d tell you, but I don’t remember a damn thing now,” Christopher lets out a chuckle and slaps his forehead; the silver feather on his leather bracelet twitches. “Everything was knocked out of my head. Because of this.”
He does not specify, but Felix understands without specifying what he means. Mind is really empty and everything that was in it before was carried away by the spring wind. The sensations were too new and strong, since this was their first official meeting. First contact of the souls.
“Yes, I also...” Felix moves his hand, trying to find the word. “Got confused. I didn't think it would roll over that much.”
“We probably just have to get used to it. To each other,” Christopher nods, makes a short pause and, having come to his senses, points to the door. “Shall we go in?”
“Let's go.”
“I've never been there, but the reviews are good. Are you hungry?”
“Yes, I haven't eaten yet.”
“Seriously? It's five in the evening now,” Christopher raises his eyebrows slightly. “Skipping breakfast and even more so lunch isn’t very good. The body needs fuel.”
“Usually I have breakfast, it just didn't work out today.”
He was so nervous that he could hardly pour a quarter glass of water into himself. The throat became stone-like from the mere thought of the upcoming meeting. Therefore, listening to himself now, Felix realizes that the stomach is rebelling furiously, demanding food. The fingers tingle, but breathing is easier. They found each other after all.
Soft sunlight pours down on the beech table through the window where they sat down. It smells of strong coffee and powdered sugar, which was lavishly strewn over waffles and doughnuts in the display window next to the checkout. There are not many people in the cafe, most of them work on laptops. Light instrumental music is playing, the volume does not exceed the level of white noise. The temperature is a couple of degrees lower than outside, in two places there are air humidifiers aimed at small bushes in neat pots.
Eyes run through the menu, studying lists and pictures. However, sometimes they glide a little higher, quickly examining concentrated Christopher, who slightly bops his head to the music. Felix pulls himself back. The hummingbird that stopped for a while began not to rush, but to annoyingly hammer the chest from the inside. The DJ in real life turned out to be even more pleasant appearance-wise than he was in the photographs and even during the performances with full makeup on. A bit large nose and a slightly darkened skin did not at all spoil smooth features.
A couple of minutes later, the waiter takes their orders, grabs the menu, and leaves them alone with a frighteningly exciting opportunity to get to know each other better. An event that none of them expected a couple of weeks ago. Felix clenches his hands on the smooth tabletop, trying to calm down and start thinking soberly. He looks up at Christopher, whose corners of the mouth have been slightly raised, as if secured by small, barely noticeable beads.
“Why are you so nervous?” he asks a moment later.
“Is it that obvious?” Felix raises his eyebrows, not expecting such a question.
“No, I just…” with a chuckle, Christopher points to his chest. “I feel it.”
“Damn, this is inconvenient,” Felix exhales through his nose with an awkward half smile. “It really does work.”
“No secrets. Now I understand what people are talking about, but this is so strange. Feeling something at a distance is okay, but like this, sitting in front of each other, literally everything inside resonates.”
“You’re nervous too,” Felix notices, listening to the second background. “You’re just not worried.”
“Cause I know everything will go well,” Christopher shrugs with amusement in his eyes. “You are my soulmate. If you don’t understand me properly, then who will?”
Even the voice begins to sound familiar and fill a dedicated niche. Felix feels the nervousness holding his muscles start to evaporate. The calmness coming from the person in front and the feeling of incomprehensible familiarity make the wary barrier, propped up by the fear of the unknown, to go down. He can completely read his mood and orient himself, so there was simply nothing to be afraid of.
“Actually, sometimes it seemed to me that this whole story about soulmates was just fiction. It sounded too good to be true.”
“Same, but I have a friend who found his and then I believed. They can literally understand each other without words and sometimes it pisses me off,” Christopher chuckles. “When, for example, we play a game with our friends and they agree on something on their waves. Yet, they can no longer play mafia together, cause they immediately feel when one of them is lying, so there are also disadvantages to that.”
“You have a lot of friends?”
“I’d say I have a lot of acquaintances,” a thoughtful nod. “The well-established group of friends isn’t very large, but there’s a shit ton of people with whom I crossed paths. At the university, in the DJ courses, and even more so at work, there literally is no way to get anywhere if there are no acquaintances. Even coming to listen to those who are of higher rank does not always work out without connections.”
“Have you been playing for a long time?”
“Five years. I started out of curiosity and ended up getting involved.”
“Got involved well. You even have a fanbase of some kind,” a slight grin.
“Come on, it’s just a couple of people who like my music,” Christopher rubs the base of his neck shyly.
“How did they react?”
Felix saw a couple of enthusiastic comments during the broadcast, but did not read all of them. He was afraid to get into the comments to the posts, knowing that the likelihood of stumbling over a bucket of shit is very high. Even opening the news, he hoped that the article about Christopher's soulmate appearing live would not be released.
“Pretty well, it was the most unusual experience for everyone - to see this with their own eyes. I myself didn’t think it would come out this way and for them it was absolutely out of nowhere.”
“You’re leaving something out,” Felix narrows his eyes, feeling an incomprehensible gray spot that flashed in the other's energy. “You hesitated.”
“It really is impossible to hide anything, huh,” Christopher sighs mockingly, realizing that he was caught after all. “There will always be those who aren’t satisfied with something. Jealousy or seeing a set up in everything. Ignore them if you see them. I don't care what they say about us.”
“Us”. Felix clings curiously to the word, which has suddenly formed so quickly. In any other situation, he would have considered it too hasty and unreasonable. But their situation was not usual. Now there are really the two of them and they stand slightly apart from the rest. They had their own matter inaccessible to others, which could not be broken.
“Do you like seafood?” Christopher asks as food arrives and a plate of pasta with a small octopus in the middle comes down in front of Felix.
“Yes, but I don't like clams,” Felix pushes four black shells to the very edge with a fork. “But I really love shrimps and octopuses.”
“Give them to me, I like them. But I can't stand mushrooms”
“So you will give them to me then.”
Felix picks up the clams and puts them on a plate for Christopher, who was cutting his lasagna into pieces. Small differences in taste preferences are sometimes an excellent basis for combining. They help to organically complement the overall picture.
“Huh, the reviews didn’t lie, it’s really tasty,” Christopher chews with pleasure and shakes his head approvingly. “You want some?”
He pierces a piece of juicy lasagna, which was still steaming, onto a fork, blows on it, and hands it to Felix. At first, he is slightly lost, because he is not used to this, but looking into kind expectant eyes, he moves forward and gently pulls off the lasagna with his teeth.
“I agree, it's delicious,” he nods, savoring, and wipes the corners of his mouth with a napkin. “You wanna try the pasta?”
“Thank you, not a fan of pasta. If you want more, then take it, don't be shy.”
Felix takes a sip of mint-flavored citrus lemonade and feels a pleasant coolness in his brain. There was not even a crumb of anxiety left, he relaxed both physically and mentally. A soft cloud seemed to hover over the table, protecting the two of them from everything negative that could happen. Christopher talks about the Neapolitan pizza making workshop he attended when he was an exchange student in Australia, and shows pictures of what he ended up with. Felix shares that his mom, at one point obsessed with YouTube cooking videos, created a week where they made a new pizza and a snack every day together. Pleasant memories, which he is always happy to get out of the mental treasury.
“Then let's make some crazy pizza, too,” Christopher suggests enthusiastically. “We could throw in there, for example, grapes with chocolate and other things that aren’t usually used. Let's see what happens.”
“It's gonna be a fruit pie,” Felix laughs, covering his mouth with his hand.
“Not if we add turkey.”
“Gross,” he winces, squinting slightly.
“Interesting,” Chris corrects, raising a finger. “Something unusual. But if you don't want to, then we won't.”
“We will. Could give it a try, why not?”
Hearing his answer, Christopher smiles contentedly. Felix feels a warmth in his chest, like a lit up lantern. They both feel it. It becomes a little awkward when their gazes cross and slightly linger. It was too interesting to study each other, but Felix still gives up and turns away with a barely audible chuckle, examining the window decoration. On the other side, in the spring breeze, purple clematis swayed smoothly, strewn over emerald leaves.
“I wonder if they’re gonna find out on what principle flowers are assigned to soulmates.”
“I doubt it. All this is too unscientific, I don’t think that it can be thoroughly studied and clearly proved,” Christopher also looks at the thin petals. “I think it has something to do with the ancient meaning of flowers. A couple gets what characterizes their relationship best.”
“And what do phloxes mean?”
“Our souls are united.”
Their gazes cross again. Felix begins to feel a surge of awkwardness, but as soon as he plunges into the two coffee lakes in front of him, the tide seems to be blocked by a dense wall. It is not awkward. It is right. As they sit next to each other, the tiny details on the inside slide into place, allowing him to feel free and needed. He did not even know that before they were all so chaotically scattered. He did not think that such comfort could exist.
“You…”
“You…”
As they start talking at the same time, they laugh, leaning back against the chairs. A girl sitting nearby gives them a displeased glance over the documents she held in her hands.
“You go first,” Felix waves in his direction.
“I wanted to know how you feel about coming to the District on Saturday. I have a shift for an hour and a half, then we could sit at the bar and relax. There they serve a plate of fried seafood for a snack, I’ll ask to get the freshest shrimps prepared for you, literally right from the sea.”
“The store ones will be fine,” Felix exhales loudly through his nose. “Of course, I'll be glad to look at you. I mean, at the show.”
“Or maybe all the same at me?” a second later, Christopher wheezes, covers his face with his hands and begins to beat himself on the knee. “Sorry, I have not a mouth, but a dumpster.”
“I like that,” Felix admits, watching his cheeks turn slightly red with laughter. “When people say everything that comes to mind.”
“You’re gonna hear a lot of such bullshit and get tired.”
“We'll see.”
Empty plates are pushed aside. Christopher finishes down his ice coffee in one gulp and sets aside the glass with melted ice cubes, which clatter loudly.
“Now your turn. What were you gonna say?”
“Aren't you upset that your soulmate is a guy?”
“Why would I be?” Christopher spreads his hands. “Soulmate is a soulmate whether it’s a guy or a girl. Since it's you, it means there are reasons for this, I don’t care about the rest.”
“Okay then. Good.”
“Were you upset?”
“No,” Felix lets out a chuckle. “On the contrary, I was relieved.”
“I see,” Chris bows his head and giggles under his breath. “Glad I didn't disappoint.”
“Before texting you, I was afraid you’d think I was a scam trying to hit on you, pretending to be your soulmate. You’re somewhat famous, after all.”
“There was one girl,” Christopher hisses through his teeth with a bit of doubt, tilting his head slightly to the side. “She texted a couple of minutes before you and even found a photo of a room with phloxes on the internet, but couldn’t name the date. That's why I asked you.”
“So such assholes do exist,” Felix raises his eyebrows with amazed mockery.
“It seems to me that it’s immediately clear when the person in front of you isn’t your soulmate. I mean even if I didn't know what it was like, I’d still be in doubt if I didn’t feel anything. Cause I read about this attraction on the Internet and Jisung told me about it as well.”
“That friend of yours?”
“Yeah. He says he can feel Minho even when they’re on different parts of the campus. He literally can point with his finger which direction he’s at.”
“Wow.”
Felix also read about this, the information is quite common. However, hearing about this from a reliable source is many times more surprising. Will it be like that for them too? Will he really be able to sense Christopher from a relatively large distance from him? How will it feel? A growing pile of questions appears, stirring up keen interest. There are so many new sensations ahead that they cannot even imagine so far.
“You wanna stay here a bit more or, maybe, take a walk?”
“Let's go for a walk.”
The street is gradually getting covered with a soft apricot filter, changing the usual colors for the evening ones. The windows of the buildings sparkle, reflecting the rays of the sleepy sun. The air feels lighter, sweeter, the warmth that had been accumulated during the day emanates from the asphalt. Crossing the road and slowly walking along a shady alley, the guys notice an ice cream cart, appetizingly inviting all passers-by with bright juicy colors.
“Bubblegum is the best flavor in the world,” Christopher announces, almost fondly looking at the blue ball in his crispy horn.
“I’m more into fruity flavors.” Felix takes a bite of the banana top. “Especially fruity flavors with chocolate chips.”
“And sorbet.”
“Yes, I love sorbets.”
“What’s the best sorbet? Let's go on one-two-three. One.”
“Two.”
“Three.”
“Mango,” simultaneous answer.
“What a refined palate you have,” Christopher almost sings contentedly, shaking Felix by the shoulder. “And the berry?”
“Raspberry.”
“All right, the perfect taste is confirmed.”
Felix's lips stretch into a smile. He still feels the warmth on his shoulder and a joyful hummingbird circling around the entire space of his chest without stopping. Sometimes it seems to him that he himself is ready to take off from the lightness that filled him.
“Are you licking the ice cream?” he notes with a bit of surprise, looking at Christopher walking beside him.
“Well, are there any other ways to eat it?”
“Bite. If you lick, the tongue freezes.”
“And if you bite, your teeth freeze.”
“Teeth don’t freeze.”
“Say that to my fillings,” Christopher licks a drop from the top. “I’m used to eat like that.”
“That’s why it’s melting,” Felix stops and hands him his horn. “Try mine.”
Christopher leans over a little and, with an indicative lifting of his lips, bites off part of the bright yellow ball. Clear teeth marks remain on the soft surface.
“Didn't leave my saliva there, since you’re so much into biting,” he thoughtfully tastes the ice cream. “Yummy. Very banana, I mean like annoyingly banana, but in a good way.”
Felix chuckles at this, and then pulls out a napkin from his pocket, a stack of which the seller handed him over.
“Come here.”
He reaches for Christopher's face and wipes off the yellow spot just above the lip, then touches the corners. At first, frozen with surprise, Chris begins to smile with satisfaction, not taking his shiny coffee eyes off him.
“Don’t say a word,” Felix pulls away with a laugh. “I feel that you really wanna spurt out something witty, so don't.”
“The main point is that you get it.”
From time to time, wind-blown pink cherry petals from a nearby park fly by. Below, on the right, there is a thin channel, the water in which rhythmically murmurs, shimmering in places where the sunset light breaks through the foliage. On the emerald field to the left, people are sitting on spread blankets and eating sandwiches with cool drinks from baskets.
“Wanna take a ride?”
Christopher points to a rental bike parking lot. Half of them were already taken.
“Sure.”
Hair flies upward, tangling and soaring as the bike picks up some speed. Freshness passes through the skin, the lungs get filled with air during an excited inhale. Felix had already forgotten the feeling of the rough rubber of the steering wheel in his palms and the flashes of fun caused by the passing trees, people and structures, which, of course, could not keep up with him. He turns his head to see Christopher smiling happily, his shirt puffed up by the wind. There were two comet dimples on his cheeks.
“I loved driving off the slopes in the village,” he says, turning to him for a moment. “Especially to scare the geese sitting on the roads.”
“And then get whipped by pissed off grannies?”
“There was that, yeah,” Chris laughs, then carefully removes his hands from the steering wheel. “Check this out. As skilled as ever.”
“Don’t fall down, show-off.”
“Will you take care of me?”
“I’ll have to.”
“Then I don’t mind.”
Felix shakes his head at the mischief that has slipped through the other’s eyes. Christopher might sound frivolous, but Felix feels this is just a joke. He is clearly not one of those who take risks recklessly. However, the fun lit up in him burns brightly, even bewitches. The way he enjoys what is happening makes Felix’s own joy shine stronger. Rushing through the evening air surrounded by luscious greenery was intoxicatingly pleasant.
The hips begin to burn perceptibly after fifteen minutes. It was their third circle through the spacious park, the sky in the distance was turning crimson. Felix slows down a bit and tries to find Christopher, with whom they were driving along different paths, so as not to accidentally bump into each other. Brows frown when the familiar hazel head is nowhere to be seen. Felix peers ahead, thinking that he has overtaken him and drove on, however, there were only ordinary passers-by and other cyclists.
Feet jump off the pedals and hit the ground. He looks around again, turning his head, but just as unsuccessfully. Fingers tap the steering wheel when an idea comes up. According to the sources, this should not be a problem for them. Felix closes his eyes and listens to his feelings. He imagines Christopher and tries to reach him to some extent, feeling his emotional background floating next to his own. To his surprise, it really begins to resonate and it feels like he is being pulled by his clothes to the back and a little to the left.
Opening his eyes, Felix turns around, stretches his neck, but not seeing Chris, turns the bike and drives in the direction where the thread of familiar energy was coming from. He crosses a small stone bridge and, passing a sprawling bush, finally sees Christopher, who was standing at the curb and talking on the phone.
“Is everything okay?” Felix asks when he finishes.
“Yeah, just clarifying the schedule for work,” Chris nods and puts the phone in his pocket. “You were looking for me?”
“Checked that very connection.”
“I felt it,” a chuckle. “It was as if I got called on the internal line, you know, there was such a vibration on the right side and it seemed like you were pulling my elbow.”
“It’s still so weird,” Felix repeats for the umpteenth time.
“Get used to it. That’s it for life now.”
Returning their bicycles to the parking lot, they leave the park and move on, discussing the sports they would like to try. The crimson sky was already gradually beginning to darken on the horizon, the night lazily crept up to Seoul. The air is noticeably fresher, especially as they come out to the wooded embankment, lined with bushes and tall grass tickling ankles.
“In winter I’ll go snowboarding again, it was obviously not enough for me to beat off my whole ass last time,” Christopher assures confidently.
“I can give you a couple of lessons.”
“You do snowboarding?”
“Yes, my friends and I often go to the same mountain in Gangwon-do, there are great springboards there.”
“Springboards,” Chris hisses doubtfully. “Let's start with the usual slide.”
“No problem,” Felix grins, shaking off a blade of grass caught on the lace of his sneaker.
“Then I'll teach you how to ski.”
“I don’t wanna fall into a split.”
“You won’t, I’ll catch you,” Christopher promises. “You won't get a single bruise.”
“With a snowboard, I can’t guarantee you that.”
“So this is how you really are, huh?” Chris groans in theatrical dismay and pushes him in the shoulder. “You will mercilessly let me beat off my everything.”
“You can’t avoid that,” Felix shrugs. “But I’ll teach you how to fall without injuries and not face-forward into the snow.”
“Well thanks for that at least.”
Above, it begins to rumble. They stopped right under a burgundy railway bridge, to which a train was rushing, making everything around them tremble.
“It's a pity I already wasted my wish.”
“A wish?” Felix asks, puzzled.
“You didn’t know? When you stand under the bridge over which the train is rushing, you can make a wish. But only once in a lifetime, no more.”
“It’s the first time I hear about it.”
“Then make a wish before it’s gone.”
The rumble reaches its peak, almost overlapping the thoughts in the head. The bridge above them is shaking from the train rushing along the powerful rails, fine dust is falling from the high beams, the ground is humming underfoot. Felix chaotically rummages through his mind, trying to figure out what he wants. When he closes his eyes, the idea comes naturally, sharp and clear. After a few seconds, the rumble begins to subside. The last carriage whistles along the road and gets carried away into the distance.
“What did you wish for?”
“Can I say it?”
“Yeah, I don’t think anything depends on it.”
“I wished for our garden to never wither.”
Felix answers honestly, looking openly into his eyes. This is the only thing he could think of. He hopes that he will never see the phloxes in his house, in their house, wither. Will not feel how the second band of emotions and feelings inside disappears, leaving a ringing void. He stayed with him for several hours, but it feels like it has been several decades and he knows everything about him to the last drop. His soul does.
For the first few seconds, Christopher looks at him in surprise, not expecting such a direct answer. And realizing the meaning of what was said, he smiles softly, allowing the comets on his cheeks to light up. The light of the crimson sky glides smoothly over his skin.
“Can I kiss you?”
“You know the answer.”
Felix thinks he can still taste the ice cream on his lips. Fingers slowly go through the hazel hair, a small hummingbird flutters excitedly in his chest. They smiled so much that it would be a miracle if he will manage to get inside his house. The smell of whole thickets of new phloxes will surely make his head spin as much as it does now from the warm kisses of Christopher. But Felix does not mind. He will only be glad if his entire house, from the floor to the last tile, gets overgrown with phloxes. Gets overgrown with the smiles of his soulmate.