Work Text:
Buck ignores his buzzing phone in favour of driving as far away from the house as fast as he possibly can.
He thought he could do it. He thought he could be in the same room as... her.
But he can’t. He can’t sit in the same room as the woman who has everything Buck has ever wanted and pretend that he’s not falling apart at the seams.
He’d thought, being surrounded by his family in Athena and Bobby’s house for a bbq was the best setting for him to meet Ana for the first time, as Eddie’s girlfriend.
He’d lasted all of 20 minutes before he’d thrown out a lame ass excuse about being tired at his shocked sister and all but ran to his Jeep, ignoring her - and anyone else’s who’d overheard - shouts for him.
Ana Flores is everything Evan Buckley isn’t. First of all, is the most obvious one - she’s female and Buck is most definitely not. As for everything else... She’s beautiful, smart, friendly, witty, kind, great with kids. And she has Eddie’s heart. Something Buck will never have, no matter how much as he wants it.
Being in love with your friend in any capacity is terrifying and painful. But, to be in love with your straight best friend with whom you spend upwards from 55 hours a week with, who’s kid is the light of your life, is a little different.
It’s worse. So much worse.
Everywhere he looks, there’s Eddie. Either physically, or something that reminds him of the man. It’s driving Buck crazy.
Because he knows he has no chance in hell with the man. He’s happy with Ana, and, as much as it hurts him to do so, Buck would never get in the way of that. Eddie’s happiness overrides Buck’s love for him and Buck will do anything to keep the man happy. Even at the cost of his own.
His phone buzzes yet again, this time with ‘Chimney’ flashing across the screen. So Buck turns on the radio to drown out the annoying sound.
Bad move.
The song that’s just starting to play is one of Buck’s mom’s favourites and she would play it time and time again when he was a kid, so much so that he grew to love it.
But now? Now, it’s like it’s taunting him. Still, he sings along with it.
’I could hardly believe it,
When I heard the news today.
I had to come and get it straight from you.
They said you were leaving,
Someone swept your heart away.
From the look upon your face, I see its true.
So tell me all about it,
Tell me about the plans you're making,
Then tell me one thing more before I go.
Tell me how am I supposed to live without you?
Now that I've been loving you so long.
How am I supposed to live without you?
And how am I supposed to carry on,
When all that I've been living for is gone?
Didn't come here for crying,
Didn't come here to break down.
It's just the dream of mine is coming to an end.
How can I blame you?
When I built my world around,
The hope that one day we'd be so much more than friends.
I don't want to know the price I'm going to pay for dreaming.
Even now it's more than I can take.
Tell me how am I supposed to live without you?
Now that I've been loving you so long.
How am I supposed to live without you?
And how am I supposed to carry on?
When all that I've been living for is gone.
I don't want to know the price I'm going to pay for dreaming.
Now that your dream has come true.
Tell me how am I supposed to live without you?
Now that I've been loving you so long.
How am I supposed to live without you?
And how am I supposed to carry on?
When all that I've been living for is gone.
Buck has tears streaming down his face when the song finishes, and his throat is sore from his screaming/singing. It takes him a few moments to realise that he’s parked up on the hard shoulder of the freeway, hunched over his steering wheel as he sobs and sobs.
Being in love with your best friend is fucking awful.