Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

As she walked down the endless hallways she’d known for all her life, Ririka rubbed her eyes. The scent of home, now almost unfamiliar after the days spent at the other end of the ocean, was a pleasant companion. She took a deep breath. The jet lag was still catching up to her. Following the maid and her silent steps, she deemed it a fair price to pay. 

She could already hear voices, coming from the room at the end of the corridor. She dismissed the old woman and went on alone. Neither Ririka nor Terano had ever appreciated the formality of being announced. Tonight most importantly, there was no need for it. She had faced worse crowds. 

Ririka took another deep breath and checked her hands, to make sure she hadn’t left any traces of her make-up on them. She glanced at her watch: 9:17 PM. Fashionably late. She sighed as she opened the door of the living room.

“Oh! Look who’s here!” exclaimed Ibara at once, raising his eyes from the dish Yumi was handing him.

Ririka offered a small smile as the rest of the room welcomed her. Sitting on the red cushion of the sofa, each with a glass, Rin and Sumika made her doubt her outfit choice. The pinstripe suit of one and the low-cut gray dress of the other made for an awful contrast with Ririka’s white cashmere pullover and jeans. That was on them though. She was sure this was meant to be informal. 

With his mouth full of cake, Ibara tried to add something else, beaming. He had cut his hair like his favorite crypto-genius, a man whose recent appearance on a famous live show had caused a billion-dollar loss for his cryptocurrency. Maybe Rin hadn’t told him about it yet. 

“Easy, easy!” said Yumi, patting him on the back. She smiled and waved at Ririka. Huddled on an armchair in a corner, Nozomi did the same, offering the small, gentle smile she’d been nurturing in the past few years. She tugged at the collar of her simple red pullover, straightening her black skirt as she assumed a more proper position. 

Sitting at the head of a heavy wooden table, Terano simply nodded. “Glad you made it,” she said. 

If she noticed the way Ririka glanced at the faces in the room twice, she didn’t remark it. By now it had been quite a while since any of them had seen a Honebami in this house.

“Miyo and Miri send their apologies,” said Terano, as Ririka took a seat at her right. “We can talk about it later though.”

Ririka arched her brow. If even she had meant to inquire, Yumi’s eagerness interrupted her.  She pushed a slice of cake and a stem glass of what looked like champagne in front of her.

“Look what Ibara brought!” she said. “He made tres leches! Though, do you remember those yummy pancakes we ate at the biner?”

“Biner?” repeated Sumika, perplexed.

Terano took a forkful from her slice. “She means diner ,” she said. 

“So?” Rin dangled his foot, his legs crossed. “It was your first time in the States, no? How did you like the country?”

“It was alright,” said Ririka. She took the time to swallow some of the spongy cake, appreciating the sweetness of its milky notes as the tiredness became a bit easier to shoulder. She relaxed against the seat of her chair. “Very big, very… excessive. Also stupid, some might say. ”

“That can be the case, yes,” chuckled Sumika. 

Ibara leaned on the sofa by her side. “Did you see the Grand Canyon?!”

“We were there for business,” replied Terano, wiping her mouth. “Didn’t have much time for that.”

“Oh, Terano! You could have left them off the hook a bit!” sighed Sumika. “California has so much to offer. Some might say, even too much. I hope you got to see the coast at least. You chose a good period too, there should have been fewer tourists than usual.”

“Ibara, Ibara!” said Yumi, clapping her hands. “Did you know? In America you have to tip the waiters at the restaurant! And you can buy a kilo of shredded mozzarella for less than six dollars!”

Among the perplexed but supportive remarks of the others, Yumi’s eyes shined as she proceeded to list the most varied ensemble of American peculiarities. Sumika opened her mouth before deciding that the tres leches was simply easier to handle. Yumi continued undaunted, “Oh and also! We got to see Kirari’s aquariums!”

All the eyes in the room moved to a single spot. 

Yumi didn’t notice it at first, too caught up in her own recollections, but the silence planted itself in the room, sudden and thick. Ririka set down her fork. She brought a napkin to her lips, gathering her thoughts. 

“It’s true,” she said, answering the questions on her cousins’ faces. “She works for a marine research institute now. The aquariums take up the bigger part of her lab.”

Nozomi asked, very quietly, “So you’ve been there?”

“Leopard didn’t change its spot, huh?” Rin smiled, something cold and plastic that took the sweet out of Ririka’s mouth. 

“Not quite.” She took a sip of her champagne and found it a bit too sour for her tastes. Softening her expression, she held back a grimace. “Kirari settled down much more than I expected. She got married to Igarashi, a few years back.”

“To Igarashi?” repeated Sumika, twirling her glass. 

“Don’t tell me you’re surprised,” muttered Terano. 

Ririka sighed. She wet her lips with the champagne, playing with her fork. She pretended not to see the way Terano rolled her eyes. At first, no one heard what she said next.

“What was that?” asked Rin. Ibara was trying to feed him cake.

Ririka cleared her throat. “She… She has a child now. A boy.”

The clanking of the forks stopped. Ririka stared at the table as she decided if taking another sip of champagne was worth the bad taste in her mouth. 

Ibara chuckled at first, staring at her. When he realized he was the only one though his expression quickly changed.

“You mean…”

“A child? In what sense?” asked Nozomi, perplexed. 

Ririka held back another sigh. “A child,” she repeated. “Adopted.”

They all ruminated over those few words,  and Ririka with them. Though the flight back should have given her more than enough time to do that, it was still incredible, even to her.

“Kirari… A mother…” said Ibara in the end. 

Sumika clasped a hand over her mouth. “My…”

“It’s not— It’s not that bad… ” said Ririka, playing with her cake.

“Yeah!” said Ibara, “Igarashi’s with her, no? How bad can it be?”

Terano and Ririka must have shared the same thought for they found themselves glancing at each other for the briefest of moments. 

“Does that make you… an aunt?” asked Nozomi. The new question seemed to deepen the almost mystical air of confusion in the room. Ririka shifted in her seat, trying not to get sucked into it. “I guess,” she said. She could have said she hadn’t really thought about it in those terms yet, but that would have been too much honesty for one night. 

The questions piled on the table before her. Was the baby cute? Who was the father? Did someone force Kirari to adopt the child?

In the chattering, Terano scoffed. “I remind you that we didn’t go there only for Kirari.”

“But Terano… a child… ” Nozomi’s concern was evident. 

As Terano tried to keep at bay the others, Ririka thought that if this was their reaction at the news of the adoption, she had better keep quiet about the breast enhancement surgery. Terano seemed already irked enough. 

“What did Kirari say?” Sumika’s voice had an odd calmness to it. “Will she come back?”

Under the table, Ririka’s hand tortured the fabric of her jeans. Like her, Kirari had never been a liar. She had never needed to hide behind anything but her own, true power. So many things had changed though. At least for her. 

Ririka decided to be honest. “She said she’d think about it.” 

Terano’s mouth did a weird thing. She didn’t speak though. Not until she cleared her throat to break the sudden silence. 

“Oh.” Rin blinked, looking at her. “Terano, how did the negotiation go?”

Terano’s smile was quite tense. “Thank you for asking, Rin. They went well. They were more than eager to partner with us. How was the situation here while I was away?”

“Well,” Ibara threw his leg over the seat of the sofa, sitting on it. “We might or might not be the cause of an inexplicable shortage of CPU and GPU worldwide,  but we managed to land the deal for the warehouses in Indonesia.”

Nozomi frowned. “As if that was the worst of it.”

Downing his champagne, Ibara shrugged. “At least we did what you asked, no? You won’t have to deal with the Secretary of the Minister of Environment anymore.”

“Of all the things you could do to make money, couldn’t you choose something a bit less destructive?” muttered Nozomi. 

“What have you been up to, Sumika?” Ririka rejoiced at Terano’s interruption. She couldn’t bear to witness the umpteenth discussion on the matter. She glanced at her watch: an hour had gone by. The night was still long. She finished her champagne in a single sip.

Sumika didn’t mind her cousins as she smoothened the hem of her dress. “I met up with Mr.  Bunka earlier. Funny little man, the Minister.” She smiled, seraphic. “Between me and the project, I don’t know which one he likes the most. He keeps talking about defeating Hollywood — as if a single amusement park could save Japan’s entertainment, culture, and industry. It will take a while to catch up with the one in Urayasu.”

As the chattering went on, Ririka sat in silence, lulled by the normalcy of the life she had grown into. She accepted another glass of champagne when Yumi offered it and listened to her as she spoke more about America. She had a lot to say and everyone had enough to ask to keep each other occupied. 

The men and women sitting before Ririka had once been the children of the Clan, yet never the Clan itself. It took a while for Ririka to realize the paradox. They used to be the legs for someone else’s table. They carried names they could have never owned, pretending to find pride in chains forged by ancient hands. 

So much had changed. Memories of childish games of cards and of words that meant too much for children occupied Ririka’s mind as the night aged, quietly carrying her tiredness on its back. 

When midnight came, Sumika was the first one to leave. Gently, Ibara woke up Nozomi, fast asleep in the armchair, and offered to give her a piggyback ride to her car. Ririka forced herself to say her goodbyes, the words rolling with tired indolence out of her mouth. 

Before following his brother, Rin lingered at the door. He looked prim and proper in his suit. His hair, now long enough to be held back in a short ponytail, shined under the lights. 

“It’s good to have you back. And to hear that your sister is doing fine.”

He smiled. With a nod, Ririka watched him leave.

“He means it, you know.” Terano was looking at her glass, the first and only of the night, as far as Ririka had seen. She never drank from it. “In his own way, that is.”

Ririka kept quiet. Waiting. There was only them and Yumi now. The latter was making herself comfortable on the armchair that Nozomi had occupied. Her lids were heavy as she observed them with subtle contentment.

“I hope you didn’t mind our little reunion,” said Terano. She rested her hands on the table, ever so composed. The ring with the crest of the Clan shined on the index of her right hand. “How have you been?”

Ririka twirled the stem glass in her fingers, caressing the smooth coolness of its curves. “I’m a bit tired, is all.”

“That is common with traveling, yes.” Terano observed her. “Most importantly when traveling with a goal like yours.”

Ririka rested her chin in her hand, dragging her fingers over her lips. An old habit. The masks, all of them, had been gone for a while. She was glad she didn’t struggle to breathe anymore. She also wouldn’t have gotten along with Terano for so long if she hadn’t stopped hiding.

She said, “There was a chance things wouldn’t go as well as I hoped. That didn’t happen.”

Terano hummed. “How did you feel?”

Ririka took her time with her answer. If she and Kirari had always been so revolted by Terano’s methods sometimes, she couldn’t deny their efficiency. 

“It felt… Good. It was good to have her back. To see that she was safe, almost… Almost a normal person. She changed so much and yet.” She stared at her hands. At the bottom of her throat, she could still feel the warmth of Kirari’s back against her palms. “I needed this…” she said, low.

Terano looked at her. “It shows. I know that our opinions about Kirari tend to differ greatly sometimes. I’m still glad you got to meet her. The fact that Nozomi found her through her charities was an incredible stroke of luck.”

Ririka nodded. “Thank you.”

In the silence between them, Yumi’s breath was now a bit deeper with the first traces of a slumber. Her cheek was squished against the armrest. Soon she would probably end up drooling. Ririka caught the glimpse of a smile on Terano’s lips as she moved her wheelchair closer to her. She took the sheet off her bony legs under her dark skirt and rested it on her sister’s shoulders. 

“If you don’t mind,” Terano said, a bit lower, “There’s something I’d like to discuss with you.”

The whirring of her motorized wheelchair accompanied her as she regained the head of the table. “Before we left, Miyo and Miri mentioned the launch for a new medicine that could help alleviate the symptoms of diseases like Chron’s. We have 10% of the pharmaceutical market in Japan now.” Ririka noticed her hands moving under the table, tugging at her skirt. She would have gotten up to ask one of the maids for another sheet, but she knew Terano’s pride would have gotten in the way. She pretended not to notice as the other continued, “Our consultants believe that might change for the worse in the next few years. We have to enlarge our target audience, retain our current customers and generally improve sales and revenue. We can do better than this. But not on our own.”

Terano paused to wet her lips with the champagne. “We might have found a suitable marketing company for a partnership. We only need someone to negotiate with them.”

“I suppose Rin and Ibara have been too busy for that?” asked Ririka. 

“Rin will be there,” Terano set her glass further away from herself. “I believe your presence would be fruitful though. You would be negotiating with someone you already know.”

Ririka arched a brow. She expected Terano to pull a folder out of the inner pocket of her jacket, or something similar, as she was wont to do. As that didn’t happen, she repeated, “Someone I know?”

Terano nodded. “Although it has been a while, I’d say you do. Would you be willing to discuss a deal with Saotome Mary for us?”

At first, Ririka believed she had misheard her. Maybe she still had airplane ears, even after landing twenty-six hours ago. A particularly persistent case of jet lag, perhaps. She blinked, dragging a hand over her mouth, forgetting that Terano was staring at her. Saotome Mary.

Ririka almost kicked her feet under herself and got up to leave. 

“I know,” said Terano at once. The other opened her mouth, closed it again. “I’m aware that the two of you haven’t been in contact. If your reaction wasn’t enough to prove it, Nozomi’s reports are.”

Ririka dug her nails in her palm, trying to focus. “I don’t think this is a good idea, Terano.”

“We both know how much Saotome despised your sister. I don’t doubt that was enough to loathe the rest of us. That wouldn’t be a first with Kirari’s enemies. So—” Terano leaned against the seat of her chair, intertwining her fingers, “— a friendly face might soften her a bit during the negotiations.”

Ririka tensed her jaw. How long had it been since they last spoke? She didn’t even have Saotome’s phone number anymore. It was lost after a yearly change of phone, and with it, the last trickling texts. It gave Ririka an excuse to stop thinking about it as often as she did.

She tightened her lips. “Can I at least have some time to think about it?” 

“The meeting is set two weeks from now.” Again, Terano’s hands moved under the table. “I won’t try to force you. The choice will be yours to make. You’ll find all the documents you need on your desk, tomorrow.” She looked at Ririka, her eyes softening at the corners. “Let me know what you think later, please.”

“I will.”

Ririka got up and was glad enough to see that the other didn’t try to stop her. The way Terano dragged a hand over her face told her that she wasn’t the only one who was tired. They wished each other good night. 

Ririka was almost at the door when the other called, “If you don’t mind…”

Ririka nodded. “I’ll call the maid for you.”

As the semi-darkness of the hallway welcomed her once again, Ririka bit hard into her bottom lip. The jet lag wasn’t going to be the only thing keeping her up that night. 

***

Ririka sighed as she cleaned her desk of the remnants of a late dinner. Careful not to stain the papers before her, she removed the oily package of the burgers she had eaten and glanced at the clock. It was 10:25 PM. That meant that it was barely morning in California. She resisted the urge to text her sister, just to make sure she remembered about their agreement and opened her laptop.

Ririka unscrewed the bottle she brought from the kitchen earlier and poured herself a generous glass of its amber liquid. The strong smell of the single-malt whiskey made her wrinkle her nose. Perhaps a beer would have been more suited for the rest of her meal. The night, however, required something stronger.

Pulling a knee to her chest, Ririka took a sip from her glass, hoping for its warmth to melt the knots in her stomach. Mindlessly, she flipped through one of the reports, titled Okayama Prefecture. The reconversion of those territories into farmable land had proved more difficult than expected, but two weeks after her return from America, things were finally improving. 

She thought that this desk, the one in her room, didn’t get much use compared to the one in her study. Why did she have two then? Perhaps she was turning into a workaholic like her sister, but at least her work was much less noisy.

The shrill ringing of her laptop made her wince. Kirari’s name appeared on the screen, but Ririka waited a few seconds.  to avoid giving the impression of being eager. She took a good swig of whiskey, for good luck, and accepted the call. 

The image took its time forming on the screen, far too grainy to be recognizable at first. “—llo? Hello?” came Kirari’s cracking voice through the speakers. 

“Hello? Kirari?” called Ririka back. 

“Oh, I can hear you now. Good morning.” As the connection stabilized, Kirari’s voice became clearer.  “Or should I say, good evening?”

Ririka held her breath. From the screen, her sister smiled at her sitting in her kitchen. The blinds open just enough to light the room. Kirari’s hair, so much shorter than their teenage years, shined with the very first sun rays. She was wearing no make-up and it was odd to see their faces so similar and close on the video feedback. 

“Good evening, yes.” Ririka straightened up. 

“I hope it’s not too late for you.”

“No, I’m okay. You rather.” Ririka alluded to her sister’s blue dressing gown. “You were never an early riser. How are you?”

Kirari chuckled. “I’m fine. I’ll get used to it. Tatsunori hasn’t given us much of a choice anyway.”

She smiled at someone behind the camera. After a moment of reluctance, Igarashi appeared on the screen. The child was in her arms, grizzling around a bottle. Ririka focused her attention on him, trying to ignore the fact that Igarashi was also still wearing a red dressing gown. If the latter minded that invasion in their intimacy, she didn’t show it as she openly smiled.

 “Hello! I hope you’ve been doing well. Say hi, Tatsu.”

The baby didn’t mind her of course. As Ririka thought that her cousins’ marvel hadn’t been too misplaced, Kirari took her son from her lover’s arms and placed him on her lap, murmuring something about coffee. Igarashi disappeared. Tatsunori’s occasional hum came through the speakers as he kept eating. 

“Well then.” Kirari helped the boy with his bottle. “Any news? How have you been?”

“The usual. Working, studying.” As much as she tried not to, Ririka couldn’t tear her eyes away from Tatsunori. Without noticing, she took another sip of whisky. 

Kirari’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “Oh? What are you drinking?”

Ririka told her. She added, “It helps me relax, sometimes.”

She didn’t specify that ‘sometimes’ had quickly become almost every day in the past few years. The way she drank it so smoothly must have betrayed her though. 

Kirari hummed. “I know what you mean. It does help sometimes. Most importantly when you find yourself staring at someone else’s face in the mirror every day.” She looked at a point behind the camera for a moment. “Well. The surgery and its consequences took care of that anyways. And not only.” Kirari crossed her arms under her bosom: the lapel of her dressing gown opened just enough for Ririka to get a glimpse of the soft curve of her chest. She rolled her eyes at the implication of Kirari’s gesture, more so because her sister was smiling, but not at her. 

The fact that her sister had pushed herself to such means in order to also please Igarashi filled her head with questions that in the time spent building a new future for the Clan she hadn’t had the chance to answer. It took courage to do what Kirari had done. Even though Kirari had always been the most daring of the two. 

The thought that Kirari had shared her intimacy — her own body, even — with someone that wasn’t her twin kept Ririka’s thoughts more occupied than she’d wish to. There had always been a mystery between Kirari and Igarashi. Like a heathen in front of a church, Ririka had looked at what they had built with doubt first, and then with curiosity. Not with envy, not yet at least, for one needs to understand what they’re looking at before that. 

“I’d keep you company if it wasn’t six in the morning. And if Sayaka liked alcohol enough to keep it in the house.” Sighing, Kirari changed her grip on Tatsunori. “You don’t know what I’d give for a sip of some of Grandmother’s peach brandy.”

“The one we tried that one time? How old were we? Thirteen, fourteen?” Ririka swirled the whiskey in the glass as her sister chuckled. 

“We weren’t very discreet! My hands still burn if I think about how she punished us. You should have been more careful, Ririka.”

“In my defense,” said Ririka smiling, “it was my first time drinking. Also, you decided to bet on who would get sick first.”

Kirari laughed. As she talked about another similar accident, Igarashi appeared again to take Tatsunori away. Smiling, she wished Ririka good night. Kirari hid a smile at the way her sister mumbled her thanks.

“What have you been working on?” she asked. “Does Terano keep you busy?”

Taking a generous sip of whiskey from time to time, Ririka explained the recent investments of the Momobami in the agricultural field, their efforts in converting lands to more proficuous territories. The whiskey was starting to warm her. Her glass emptied as her tongue tripped over the names of a few prefectures.

Her sister leaned back in her chair, observing her. “Is that all, now?”

Ririka frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I doubt the soybean fields in Iwate would need to be watered with so much whiskey.” Kirari rested her chin in her hand. “Did something happen?”

The other played with one of her leftover fries. She took time, refilling her glass. 

“If it’s some secret internal affair of the Clan, I won’t insist,” specified Kirari, “but disappearing for ten years boasts secrecy among its advantages.”

“It’s not that.” Ririka sighed. “Terano asked for a favor. Tomorrow morning I’m supposed to meet up with someone for a marketing deal, but…”

She trailed off. She had so much to say and yet she had so little desire to speak. “How about the beginning, then?” had said her sister when they met. Thankfully, Kirari’s patience for her silences hadn’t changed during those years. 

Ririka took a deep breath. “That person is going to be Saotome.”

She played with her glass as Kirari chuckled. “High school never ends as they say here, truly.”

“We both know this isn’t a coincidence, Kirari.”

The folder Nozomi had prepared for her was buried under dozens of others. With heavy lids, Ririka forced herself to grab it. She grimaced at the huge Saotome Mary on its cover.

“You called this a favor, nor an order,” said Kirari as the other drank again. “I can understand your reluctance, but you weren’t asked to rebuild your whole relationship. I don’t recall Saotome ever being the social type either.”

“It’s been so long,” muttered Ririka. Her eyes stumbled on the words of the documents. 

“A shark is always a shark, you’re saying?” Kirari scoffed. “Do you know anything about her at all?”

Ririka read aloud a few paragraphs from the report. After a degree in business management, Saotome had been working as a senior marketing assistant for BW-Media for the past three years. A couple of failed attempts at starting her own independent projects colored her curriculum.

“Too stubborn even for that, huh?” Kirari smirked. 

Ririka drank again, distractedly pushing some cold french fries in her mouth. As she searched Saotome’s name through her browser, she realized that it had been a while since she had felt like this. Without Kirari, ever so composed and relaxed, she hadn’t dared to even think about the meeting. It was as if they were back in Kirari’s room, and Igarashi’s Life Plan was back in her hand, or in their kitchen, discussing Kirari’s desperate attempts at learning how to cook before their first trip alone. 

The alcohol had its own merit. Ririka found herself going through Saotome’s social media accounts, searching for answers she feared she would regret. Everything was privated though. She stared at the only picture available: what had once been her gambling partner showed her old confidence through the face of an adult in a smart tailleur. 

“I think you should go.” Kirari shrugged. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Her sister hummed, staring at her third glass. 

“Consider it a gamble — unless Terano forbids you from even thinking about it.” Ririka wrinkled her nose. “There’s a fifty-fifty chance. We’ve both played with worse odds.”

As she received no answer but a low muttering, Kirari smiled. 

“You know.” She tilted her head. “Upon striking, the peacock mantis shrimp has enough strength to break the glass of its aquariums. It never does though. That’s only for feeding.” She leaned back, observing her twin. “You used to be like that. I don’t think that’s the case anymore though.”

Ririka’s voice was muffled as she rubbed her eyes. “If it wasn’t for Terano she could simply forget about me. Like I tried to do with her.”

Kirari’s eyes softened. “If it wasn’t for Terano, you wouldn’t have met me again either. Some could say that you should take this as a good omen.”

Ririka looked at the video of her own face on the screen. The eyes that looked back at her were tired and deep. After all those years, they still looked nothing like her sister’s. Nothing like Mary’s. Maybe Kirari was right. She had placed herself in Terano’s hands when she had lost everything else. Maybe fate was trying to put back the pieces once again. She couldn’t deny that a part of her still had some hope. 

They weren’t children anymore. Hyakkaou was long gone, and with it, the things that forced them to part ways in the first place. 

Like punctured beasts, some things are simply better off dead sometimes. As the alcohol burnt her mouth, Ririka truly hoped that wouldn’t be the case.

Chapter Text

Ririka emptied two more glasses of whiskey before her sister had to get ready for work. 

By the time she went to bed, it was already half past one in the morning. The ringing of the alarm clock woke her up right at the last minute. Accompanied by one of the worst headaches she’d ever had, Ririka rushed to get dressed, swallowing a handful of cement-like fries from the night before just to have something in her stomach. 

When her car stopped in front of her destination, she still had the unpleasant taste of cold potatoes and toothpaste mixed in her mouth. She swallowed a painkiller and left the vehicle. 

Holding a leather suitcase, Rin was already waiting for her, clad in a dark suit and red tie. He smiled, raising a brow. “Today is only Thursday, you know.” 

Ririka ignored him. She checked her make-up one last time in a small hand mirror. As she put the latter back, she gestured for her cousin to follow her inside the building. 

Her light blue tailleur and his suit made them stand out at once in the reception that welcomed them. Among walls of translucent glass, employees and guests didn’t bother with more than button-up shirts and leather shoes. A couple of armchairs at the left of the entrance were orange and bright like the carpet under them. Overall, the place had nothing to envy from a modern art gallery. 

“For someone as traditional as Terano to resolve to this…” muttered Rin under this breath. Smiling as usual, he approached the receptionist’s desk to introduce himself. 

Trying to keep the migraine at bay in the well-lit space, Ririka looked about herself. Like a cook with a recipe, she was repeating to herself the various passages that awaited her: feign indifference — make sure to be cordial — maybe a simple ‘How are you today?’, then on to the negotiations. 

Rin’s presence was going to help. As odd as it was, his plastic smile would be the perfect anchor during the meeting. 

Ririka’s palms sweated at her sides. She took a few deep breaths, waiting for the painkiller to kick in as Rin came back. 

They didn’t have to wait much. After a few minutes, a jovial young man came to ask them to follow him. He was wearing a brown pullover and jeans and judging from the badge on his back pocket he must have been an intern. Ririka and Rin exchanged a glance. Walking in silence, they took the elevator up to the third floor and went through a few hallways. The offices were divided by endless glass walls, inside of which various employees bustled around desks, printers, and computers, like bees in a huge crystal beehive.

Ririka’s eyes kept wandering a bit too often from the back of their guide. She tried to focus on Rin at her side, on the air of excessive confidence that he emanated like a bad smell. 

She struggled to remember to breathe sometimes, focusing as she was on that task. Memories of Saotome she had kept away for years came back to her like faded photos. She wondered if they would have been able to recognize each other as the weight in her stomach grew heavier. 

The intern stopped in front of a room. “Please, make yourselves comfortable.” Behind the umpteenth glass wall at his left, a long, glass table occupied most of the room with various black leather chairs, all reflecting on the huge TV screen on the wall in front of them. 

The intern rubbed his hands slowly. “Miss Saotome has been warned of your arrival. As you wait for her to join you, may I offer you coffee, tea…?”

Rin smiled. “An espresso and some cold water would be wonderful. You look like you need it,” he added, once the other bowed and left. Ririka grimaced. “You'll be meeting after years, no? I didn’t think it would upset you this much.”

“Rin.” Ririka’s tone was steel. “Focus on your job, please. We don’t need anything else now.”

He hummed. There was more than a hint of sarcasm hiding in the corner of his eyes. “Of course. You heard him though. She’s still Miss Saotome. You still have a chance… Unless you and your sister aren’t as similar as I thought.”

The way Ririka glared at him made him chuckle, but at least he fell quiet.

The office kept bustling around them. Ririka didn’t know where to look. She crossed her arms and grit her teeth against the pain in her temples. She prevented herself from bringing her hands to her face, for she didn’t want to ruin her make-up with that old quirk.

When the time came, Rin’s smile was the only warning. With the corner of her eye, Ririka noticed it grew just a bit wider. A shark flashing his teeth before his prey. 

Ririka took a few deep breaths. When she turned, she made sure each muscle of her face was under control as she dropped her arms along her hips.

There was a group of people walking in front of them, so she didn’t see much at first. She got a glimpse of a girl, waiting for them to pass. She must have been about her age, with long, dark hair tied up in a ponytail and deer-like eyes. She pressed a folder to her chest, looking more like a schoolgirl than a professional in her black skirt and green t-shirt. Perhaps another intern? 

As Ririka reflected that she had already seen a similar scene in the past, the group moved on, clearing the way. 

The girl and her companion advanced in the hallway. Ririka’s heartbeat thundered in her ears. The eyes were still the same, even after all those years. Ririka could tell this much as Saotome crossed the space between them with long, measured steps. The hair looked just a bit shorter, tied up in a high, golden bun on the back of the head. There was something about that hairstyle, that Ririka wouldn’t have defined harsh as much as sharp. Battle-ready. The sound of her heels resounded between Ririka’s aching temples.

In a black pencil skirt and a simple white blouse, Saotome strode through the corridor like a general on his way to his troops. 

That is, until she met Ririka’s gaze. 

Saotome tripped, and both Ririka and Rin flinched as if trying to prevent her from falling.  

Mary remained unharmed and still standing. With wide eyes, her mouth fell open looking between the two Clan members. She grimaced. That was all Ririka managed to see before she turned on her heels so fast she almost feared she’d trip again. 

Saotome’s voice was an irked grumble. “Cancel the meeting. Do you hear me, Tsuzura? I’m not doing this.”

The girl tried to protest. Distraught, she looked back at them, bowed, then tried to catch up to Saotome’s quick pace, though she wasn’t half as good at walking in that kind of shoes. 

As the sound of their heels left with them, Ririka and Rin stared at their backs wordlessly. A few employers had followed the scene. They looked like they didn’t know what to do with themselves now. 

“Well.” Rin blinked. “Hats off to you, Ririka. At least you showed up.”

***

Ririka looked at her hand on the glass table. She moved her eyes from her own reflection to the empty espresso cup and water bottle.

Tlack.

Her watch scraped the glass as she tried to grab the bottle to read its label. She winced. 

A glance at the time told her what she already knew. The meeting was meant to start thirty minutes ago, but Rin and Saotome were still discussing outside of the meeting room. Saotome’s assistant kept moving her eyes from them to another man, one of Saotome’s colleagues, who had joined them as soon as he had noticed the commotion. While speaking with Rin, he had placed a hand on Saotome’s shoulder and forgot about it, with the increasing annoyance of the latter. 

Sitting in the meeting room where Rin had vehemently suggested she should wait quietly and finish her water, Ririka had gotten used to Mary’s scowl. Given the situation, Ririka could almost imagine herself as one of Kirari’s fish in her aquariums. The nervousness had subsided into a not-so-subtle boredom, which allowed for a solid mask of indifference, even though Saotome kept glancing at her from time to time. 

She placed her chin in her hand and waited. Finally, Saotome’s co-worker bowed a couple of times. Rin did it once. 

When he pushed open the door of the meeting room, Ririka was doing just what he had told her to do: sitting straight in her chair, looking unbothered by the delay, she was the very image of a professional. In her reflection on the glass wall, she could see the hint of a matriarch in her composure. Her long, pale hair shrouded her shoulders with nobility. That’s not what Terano wanted though. Otherwise, she herself would have come.

“We’re ready to start,” announced Rin.

Saotome took her seat at the other end of the table without saying a word. Tsuzura followed along, taking her left. Ririka didn’t reciprocate the sheepish smile she sent in her direction. 

Rin sat at Ririka’s right. “We’re glad we were able to dissuade you, Miss Saotome. Our company would have been quite displeased to lose a valiant partner such as BW-Media.”

“Save it.” Scowling under her bun, Saotome crossed her arms. “I don’t know what convinced the higher-ups to work with you.”

“Now, now.” Rin waved away her words. “You know we’re professional. You understand the importance of this project as much as us, or else you wouldn’t be here.”

Saotome scoffed. She stared at Ririka. “And you? You have nothing to say?”

Fighting the anxiety, Ririka raised her chin, looking right back at her. “It should go without saying, but we came here to talk about business. Not to pick at each other.”

She held back a grimace as the other clicked her tongue. 

“You never change,” said Mary. “One needs to press a button to make you talk.”

Rin chuckled, dissipating the tension between them. For the first time in her life, Ririka was thankful for it.

“We are meant to work together, Miss Saotome, not against each other.” He snapped his briefcase open, taking a rim of documents. “Let us start. Before that though, perhaps you’d be willing to present your colleague?”

At Saotome’s side, Tsuzura looked at him surprised. Saotome shrugged. “Her name’s Hanatemari Tsuzura. She’s my assistant.”

“A pleasure to meet you.” Rin smiled, introducing himself and Ririka. Hanatemari’s eyes widened when she heard the Momobami name.

Scoffing, Saotome looked at her nails, short and polished. “No need to get worked up. The name’s big, but that’s about it.”

Ririka tightened her lips. Under the glass table, Rin’s foot moved imperceptibly closer to hers. 

“If you’re still unwilling to work with us,” he said seraphic, “Perhaps your colleague, Mr. Nakamura, would—”

“No need.” Mary pushed a loose lock of blond hair behind her ears. Ririka focused on the gesture a bit longer than she should have. 

She cleared her throat. “We came here expecting seriousness and collaboration. If our intentions won’t be met with equal interest we will be forced to either ask for another of your senior marketing assistants or to refuse this partnership altogether.” Her gaze didn’t waver on Saotome’s. “I hope there will be no more need to remark it.”

At Saotome’s side, Hanatemari seemed to brace herself as Mary’s knuckles whitened. She managed to hold back though. She was still scowling, but she conceded her collaboration with a silent nod.  

“Wonderful.” Rin smiled. “Now, please, I’d like you to take a look at this.”

He offered her the documents. As he began explaining their project, the atmosphere in the room lost some of its tension and Ririka had all the time to observe the two people before her. 

Saotome kept frowning at her from time to time. Eventually, she did focus on Rin’s words, engaging in the discussion and Ririka moved on to her assistant. Hanatemari was also following along, but she kept bouncing her legs under the glass table. The way she moved her gaze from Rin to Saotome seemed to show that she was more concerned about the reactions of the latter rather than the overall conversation. 

When she noticed Ririka’s gaze, she offered the same uncertain smile as before. Again, Ririka didn’t return it and waited for her to lower her gaze first. 

She observed the way the other two interacted, Mary, curt and sharp in her sudden requests, Hanatemari jumpy and graceless in carrying them out. Ririka wondered if her presence was also a reason for this lack of synergy, or if everyday normalcy had bred this sort of interaction.

For the greater part of the meeting, Ririka and Hanatemari were the quietest people in the room. Ririka intervened only a couple of times and only because it was necessary. That didn’t mean that her presence was superfluous though. Hanatemari’s attitude and Saotome’s occasional glances were enough to prove it. In her silence, Ririka burrowed herself in her composure, searching for a balance that had been lost when she first saw Saotome. 

When the meeting ended, two hours and a half later, both Rin and Saotome had a pleased smile on their lips. 

“I’m glad we were able to find a meeting point, Miss Mary,” he said while snapping shut his briefcase. 

Saotome scoffed as she drank some water from a plastic cup. “You’re a tough one, I’ll admit it.”

Rin chuckled. “I’ll take it as a compliment.”

As they all got up, he offered his hand for both Saotome and Tsuzura to shake. While Ririka considered whether to do the same, he said something to Hanatemari, making her blush. Ririka didn’t hear it though. With her arms crossed and a frown that had lost some of its resentment during the meeting, Saotome was looking at her. She was the first to break the silence between them. 

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” 

Ririka took a deep breath. “It has.” She hesitated. “How have you been?”

Saotome nodded to herself. “Fine. I’m doing fine.”

Rin was already keeping the door open for Hanatemari. When he glanced at her, Ririka subtly gestured for him to go on.

As they fell quiet, Ririka thought that Saotome had always been like that. There had always been walls between them, walls that Mary had built with her own hands. Ririka knew she shouldn’t have been one to talk. At the same time though, she couldn’t help but wonder if the years had only exacerbated that side of Saotome.

She straightened up. “I won’t take your time while you’re at work. I would still like a chance to talk with you alone though.”

Through the glass, Rin and Hanatemari kept talking. The latter seemed to struggle with her words as Saotome looked at her. “It’s hard to see what we’d talk about,” she said, “but if you insist…”

“I have no intention of forcing you.” Ririka’s expression hardened.

With a huff, Saotome’s fingers ran to the hair behind her ear once again. Ririka felt her pulse quicken in her throat. “You wouldn’t be able to, even if you wanted.”

They stood in front of each other, unable to fully meet the other’s eyes. Perhaps Mary was right and they truly had nothing to tell each other. However, Ririka knew her too well to believe she had been honest. 

Turning to her left, Ririka approached the meeting table and wrote her phone number on a notepad. She tore the page and offered it to Saotome.

The latter accepted it after a moment of hesitation. She looked at it before putting it in her pocket. 

“Your cousin has my number.” She sighed, yet she repeated Ririka’s gestures. As she handed her the piece of paper, Mary glanced at Rin through the glass, still talking with Tsuzura. She wrinkled her nose.

“You might want to tell him not to buzz around my assistant. For his own good.”

Ririka nodded. “Will do.”

She paused for a moment more, searching for something else to say. This wasn’t the time though. She knew it too. She uttered her goodbyes and left. Hanatemari bowed as she passed by. With a subtle nod, Ririka acknowledged the gesture and moved on.

As they walked back to the elevator, Ririka could still feel Saotome’s gaze on her back. She sighed when she turned a corner.

“Your old school mate,” said Rin as he kept the exit door open for her. “She didn’t change that much. 

“We got the deal. It’s what Terano wanted.”

Ririka squinted as the light of the late morning shone on the sidewalk through the skyscrapers. Their chauffeurs were waiting for them. 

Rin smiled. “Thank you for accepting to do this. And good luck.”

She refused to meet his gaze as she approached her car. She thought the worst part was gone, at least. She had had the chance to see Saotome for the woman she had become. The recent memories crossed her mind: legs crossing under the glass table, a smile, ever so fierce, yet much rarer. The way Hanatemari followed Mary’s orders like an obedient dog. 

Ririka forced herself to push everything away. The chauffeur kept the door open for her. When she took her seat, the sounds of the city were shut out, leaving her alone with her thoughts. 

She found it hard to assess the damage now, after all these years. She had her hopes, her protests. There was a turmoil brewing between her heart and her ribs. With it, the thought that Saotome had once called her a friend and a partner kept reminding her that they had been something, once. There was unity in the battles they had fought. There were those walls, even now that they had all the reasons to resent each other. 

As the engine of the sedan hummed to a start, Ririka looked at the building she had just left through the dark glass of the window and felt that her relationship with Mary had always been like that: one on the side of good. The other, deep inside the sea’s guts. 

Chapter Text

Ririka squinted against the glare of the setting sun. Before leaving the car, she took her sunglasses from her bag and nodded to her chauffeur. The breeze of the bay played with her hair as she closed the door behind her. 

Men in suits who had just left their offices and young couples, ready to give an early start to their Saturday night were already thronging the sidewalk. Ririka observed herself in the reflection of a nearby shop window and found that she didn’t look out of place among the well-dressed mannequins behind the glass. She opened a bit the collar of her white blouse over her black jeans, readjusted her black bag on the crook of her elbow, and with it, the light brown trench she had brought foreseeing the harsher breeze of the night. 

Her high-heeled ankle boots resounded on the concrete as she turned to observe herself from a different side. The occasional glances from those around her assured her that she looked interesting enough, if not pretty; though she couldn’t deny the restlessness in her chest, numbing everything else. 

She thought that their first meeting was the hard part. She hadn’t considered the wait that would precede the second. 

When she reached the Christine White Bar , huddled between shops on a curve of the bay, Ririka was fifteen minutes early. She had been waiting in her car for fifteen minutes more, but she couldn’t bear its suffocating insides anymore. Here, the salty scent of the sea right across the street accompanied the lively chattering of the other guests of the bar around the white tables outside, allowing her to breathe more freely. It was still early enough for an aperitif, but also late enough that they could have gone to dinner if they felt like it. 

A waiter greeted her and once she said her name he led her to a table she had booked the day before. Another kind of waiting. Ririka tapped on her knees under the table as the minutes passed painfully slowly. She refused to take out her phone. She thought it would have been rude to be found staring at a screen. 

She looked at the flat, blue stretch of the sea at her right, at the sun that would soon disappear in it as she fought the urge to order a drink while she was still alone. 

When Saotome arrived ten minutes later, Ririka was still so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she didn’t notice her until she was right in front of her. Clad in a black t-shirt tucked in large olive pants, with a leather jacket on her shoulders, Mary pushed her own sunglasses on her forehead, prompting Ririka to do the same with a moment of delay. It was the first time Ririka saw her with her hair down. It was much shorter than expected. 

Saotome sighed. 

“Good evening,” she said with emphasis. As Ririka stammered a reply, she rolled her eyes and took her seat before her. She took off her glasses, placing them in front of her. “How long have you been waiting?”

“Not much.”

Saotome crossed her legs under the table. Feeling the point of her feet brush lightly past her own leg, Ririka suppressed a wince.

Mary hummed, looking around. “Not bad. We’re not even that far from the office.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Ririka pointed at the laminated menu between them. “Would you like anything to drink or eat?”

Saotome shrugged. As she went through the few pages, Ririka tried not to stare too hard at her, but a  voice behind her distracted her. A jolly middle-aged man wearing a white uniform approached them. Belatedly, Ririka recognized the owner of the bar.

The sun glared on his bald head as he said, “Oh, oh! Good evening! It is very good to have you back, this time with a friend, yes? Have you already ordered?” Ririka struggled to match his smile. “Allow me. For you, miss, the usual?” He checked his watch briefly. “It might be a bit early for a highball but—”

“I’ll take an Umetini, thank you,” interjected Ririka. Saotome ordered a Lemon Sour.

As the man left, she raised a brow. “You? Drinking whiskey and soda?”

Ririka brushed her hair out of her face. “The Momobami were brewers for as long as they were farmers.”

“Oh?” Mary looked vaguely impressed. “I didn’t know that.”

A woman laughed somewhere behind Ririka. The silence protracted itself as Saotome observed the sea and Ririka observed her with as much discretion as she could muster.

“How…” Ririka shifted in her seat. “How have you been? With work and all…”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Saotome said, “Work has been going as well as I could hope.” As she mentioned some troubles with a coworker or two and the prospect of a promotion, a waiter brought their drinks and a plate of otsumami . Ririka tensed her lips when he explained the owner sent it. 

She took her first, generous sip of the night, without truly enjoying it as Saotome asked, “What about you?”

“I’ve been… fine.” Ririka observed the perspiration on her glass. “There’s a lot of work to do, but I enjoy it. More than expected.”

“Farming and brewing?” Saotome raised a brow, eating some shrimp tempura. 

Speaking over the chatter around them, Ririka told her about her job and studies in the agricultural industry, carrying on the tradition of her Family. She left Terano out for now, letting Mary speak about things she already knew: her excellent results as a business major and the early, modest success in BW-Media. She didn’t mention her attempts at starting a company on her own though. 

“You were always good at this sort of thing,” said Ririka as she paused to drink.

“I figured the pay would be good enough to justify the hassle.” Mary sent her a meaningful glance. “Still, I would have never expected to find someone like that Obami in my meeting room.”

Ririka arched a brow. “You hadn’t been warned about us…?”

Saotome was eating finger food in front of her, sitting tense yet as calm as the ocean at their side. It would have been hard to recognize the irked, nervous person who had met them a week ago. 

Mary huffed. “Nakamura, the guy who spoke with your cousin, told me the name of your firm, but conveniently forgot about yours.” She shook her head to herself, scoffing.

“That was quite… surprising,” said Ririka, while Mary placed the lemon slice of her drink on a tissue.

“You can say that, yeah.”

“What about your assistant?” Ririka took a tentative sip. “Hanatemari? How long have you been working together?”

She almost regretted asking as Saotome frowned, but she still got an answer. “She was already there when I entered the company. She sent emails, got the coffee, the usual. I helped her with her career, a bit.” Before the other could try to change the topic she added, “She used to attend Hyakkaou with me.”

Ririka swallowed hard at her sudden seriousness. “Really?”

“Met her when I transferred, we used to be friends when we were kids. She left before our second year though. Got to thank your sister for that.” Saotome raised her glass in a modest cheer.

“I’m sorry to hear that…” Ririka clutched her own glass with more strength than necessary.

“That’s on her. Kirari’s been gone for long enough anyways.” In the bright orange light of the sun, the liquid in her glass seemed almost kaleidoscopic. Mary looked at Ririka, now suddenly quiet. “Well? I’m sure you know something about that. People weren’t surprised to find she had disappeared, but the fact that Igarashi was with her only spread more rumors.” She puckered her lips. “Most of them thought they killed themselves. Hoped so, at least, after your cousin came out on top. I had my suspicions though. People like Kirari are like cockroaches: you can’t kill them, but you can scare them into hiding.”

At the memories of her sister laying like a bunch of dirty laundry on a hospital bed after Miroslava’s attack, Ririka had her doubts about that first part. She gulped down the tightness in her throat with a generous swig. “You’d be surprised,” she said.

“What do you mean?” asked Mary. 

Her hair was threaded with gold now that sunset was approaching. Her eyes looked deeper too. Battle-ready , thought Ririka. Saotome looked indeed fierce even in the temporary calm that had shrouded her adult years. Ririka thought that they still had something in common: they had never learned about vulnerability. The kind that Kirari had just started to show her. 

“Kirari’s been… around. She didn’t go into hiding because she was afraid though,” she specified.

Mary hummed, indifferent. “She truly was as stupidly reckless as one would make her if she thought she had nothing to fear.”

“Maybe,” Ririka conceded, “but she’s been doing well. Better than any of us, perhaps.”

Saotome scoffed. “What? Did she take over Monte Carlo and enslaved the rest of its citizens?”

Ririka cleared her throat. She pressed her hands around her glass, appreciating its coolness.

“She and Igarashi got married. They both went to college, found a normal job, living a normal life.” Ignoring the skeptical air in Mary’s eyes, Ririka added, “They adopted a child, recently.”

She witnessed the jaw-drop with familiar resignation.

“A child? Those two?” 

Sighing, Ririka nodded. Saotome leaned back in her chair. “What the fuck.”

“Yes,” said Ririka, playing with her glass.

“Do child services know?”

“They adopted a child, they didn’t kidnap him,” replied Ririka defensive.

“But still! What the fuck,” repeated Saotome, a statement more than a question. She looked at her hands on the table as if she couldn’t believe her eyes. The sound of the waves reached them as the bustling of the other guests subsided around them for a moment. Many of them had already left to continue their night elsewhere and perhaps come back later for another drink.

Furtively, Ririka found herself observing Saotome again. Tensing up, she saw her expression return to an unpleasant seriousness. 

“To think that someone like Kirari got to get away and live her life like any other nobody…” she muttered under her breath. “She had all the reasons to, of course. I would have done the same in her position perhaps.”

Ririka pressed her lips at the irony of the statement. Or rather, at the lightness with which Saotome admitted her own hypocrisy. She refrained from reminding her that her hate for Kirari had once been enough to drive her to reach the top as the other took a generous sip.

“What about you then?” The sudden sharpness in Mary’s eyes startled her. “What excuse did you have to disappear like that?”

Ririka forced herself to sustain her gaze. She should have seen this coming.

“I didn’t disappear. You could see my texts just as well as I could see yours. Until they stopped.”

She hadn’t meant to sound that cold. Perhaps she had been too firm in reigning her voice, for Saotome looked taken aback. At once she scoffed and crossed her arms. She pushed her hair behind her shoulders.

“You said that as if there was any point in texting like that. The Election was already over, but with the way Terano was handling things we could have still had our fair share of profit compared to the rest of the school. I could have gotten a seat in the Council. You could have done more to fix the chaos your sister left behind.”

“Who told you I didn’t?” Ririka slid her glass aside. The alcohol was starting to melt the tension in her shoulders, but it was also quickening her tongue. She had promised herself she would have been careful tonight.

“I’ve been helping Terano since the moment Kirari was gone. Without me, Terano herself would have probably been forced to abandon the Election and the hope of being head of the Clan.” Ririka took a deep breath. She had spoken too much and too fast. “I tried to be there for both of you,” she continued, calmer. “What Terano and I did was so important, Mary, you couldn’t even imagine.”

“So you switched teams, is what you’re telling me.” Ririka forced herself to hold Saotome’s gaze. “You joined them in the end.”

“I was always one of them.”

Under the table, Ririka’s knuckles whitened at the way Mary puckered her lips.

“You were also my partner, Ririka. You asked me to join you — you forced me to. What happened to that, huh?”

Saotome’s mask was starting to crack. Sitting among dozens of people and their idle nothings, Ririka thought that she had never been that good at managing her emotions. She wasn’t sure she was one to talk. Her fingers were starting to tremble. She forced herself to take a deep breath and looked at her right. The sea was turning purple. The first, huge ships were crossing the horizon, ready to drop anchor in the harbor at the northern part of the bay. 

When she let herself talk again, Ririka faced Saotome with all the honesty she and Kirari had nurtured for years. 

“I didn’t mean to leave you behind. I wouldn’t have dragged you in Kirari’s plan either if I had a choice.” She forced her hand into a fist, to prevent herself from reaching for Saotome’s arm. “I joined Terano because it was the right thing. For my Family and myself.”

I did wish you had been at my side then . Ririka found herself unable to say it. She looked away. A waiter met her gaze as he was about to approach them, but noticing their tension, he changed his mind. 

“We don’t do much with intentions.” Saotome’s voice was ice.

“What was I meant to do? Why didn’t you reach out?” asked Ririka, also crossing her arms. 

“What would have been the point, if you were never around?” Saotome raised her chin. “You weren’t the only one who kept herself busy. You weren’t there to see what Yumeko did once she got to know that Kirari was gone for good. She started gambling as if she wanted to destroy the Academy piece by piece, Suzui tried to help and only made things worse. But I was there Ririka.” Mary pointed at her chest, leaning forward to look her right in the eyes. “I know you couldn’t understand what it feels like. You had no friends but me; even your own twin left you without saying a word!”

Ririka dug the fingers of her left hand in her thigh, hoping to keep at bay the disgust as she took the low blow as best as she could. Unremorseful and stern, Saotome kept her eyes on her. 

Ririka bit the inside of her cheek. She didn’t know much about love. Once, so many years ago, she thought she had had an inkling of them, at least, when her sister admitted that something, someone had gotten in the way, that they were twins still, but not like before. 

Perhaps she had been different from Kirari even in this. She could have grown too old for that: love was always a political beast with jaws for a mouth. The choices they had made were piling, one cutting deeper than the other. 

As the breeze of the early night came to whisper in her ears, Ririka repeated, “What would you have wanted me to do, Mary?”

“Does it even matter at this point—”

“I asked you a question.” Ririka’s voice was as low as cutting. “Please. Answer.”

Chewing on the corner of her bottom lip, Saotome looked away. Upon following her gaze, Ririka found she was also looking at the ships in the distance without really seeing them. It was starting to get cold. She refused to break the silence to wear her jacket though. 

“You should have been there,” muttered Saotome. “You should have gambled with me until the very end. You should have let me help you—”

“I didn’t need to be helped.” Ririka’s voice softened as she said that. It was the truth, and in the truth she had learned to find a harbor. “I never asked for a prince in shining armor. I wouldn’t have asked for a partner either if it wasn’t for Kirari. I am grateful I got to meet you, I am grateful… because I thought I had found a friend.” She hesitated. “In the end, I had to prove my strength without you pretending not to see it.”

Saotome scowled. “I gave you all the chances you wanted. What is that supposed to mean?”

Ririka’s face itched for a mask she had hated more than her own life, but she didn’t lower her gaze. She wasn’t the girl who had cried upon being asked what she truly wanted. With those tears she had built a strength bigger than the ocean at her right. 

“What does that mean?” repeated Mary, unnerved at her silence. “You might have the guts to speak like this now, but you didn’t back then.”

Ririka frowned. “Terano disagreed. I had all the time to prove her right, against my own expectations.”

“We could have gone so far together, Ririka.” Placing her palms on the table, Saotome stared at her with wide eyes. “But not like this. We could have been the real winners.”

“Winners of what?” Exhaustion veiled Ririka’s voice. She wished to entrust that tiredness to the waves, letting the tide bury somewhere that wasn’t her bones. “You wanted to reach the top, with or without me. And if you’re telling me the contrary, at least be honest.” Ririka inhaled deeply the scent of the sea. “Admit that you wanted to help yourself, before helping me.”

Her shoulders slouched. Those words had accompanied her nights for months even after she graduated Hyakkaou. She saw the change in Saotome’s expression, and that would have been enough to assure her that her doubts were founded. 

They had been kids once, laying in a boat busted in the shipyard. They had lost their chances long before setting off. 

“That was the plan, no?” murmured Saotome, low. “I’d become President. You’d be the head of the Hundred Devouring Families. We’d be together.”

“But you didn’t become President. You ran off after Yumeko, you said it yourself. That’s not on me, Mary. That’s on you.”

A muscle jumped in Saotome’s jaw. She inhaled deeply, taking a sip of her drink. Ririka wished she could have done the same. 

In the long silence that followed, Ririka noticed that the bay was starting to light up. People strolled under the street lights, the waiters kept to themselves, clearing the table for the second wave of guests in the background of a deep purple sea. 

Saotome shifted in her seat. Ririka was getting tired of looking at her, of feeling the muscle of her back tense under her blouse. Little by little, the crease between the other’s brows disappeared.

“I’ll never stop saying that I wished things had gone differently. But I’d still make the same choice. We should have gained so much, Ririka. Both of us.” Mary was serious.

“It went as it was meant to, I guess.” Although she regretted the bitterness in her voice, Ririka made an effort to believe her own words. She allowed herself a sip of her wine, emptying the glass just as much as she had emptied herself. 

They had been talking for hours, and yet, what did they say? Things that they already knew. If they had been more merciful with each other they would have saved themselves from hearing them aloud. They were never that kind to each other though. 

Ririka trailed a hand through her hair, trying to give a place to her thoughts. 

“So much for a reunion,” muttered Mary, emptying her glass. 

There was something bitter and sharp simmering in her eyes. That too hadn’t changed. Ririka thought that she was too young to know what it meant when she had called Mary her strength. 

There was no strength in denying oneself for others’ sake. There was the impulse to ask for more, as if by forcing Saotome’s head to look in a certain direction she would force her to see that life is more about the people around you than those you trample to reach your goals. They lived with so many compromises. Too many, for the time they had known each other. 

Ririka looked at Mary and tried to imagine them together, once again, perhaps in a better place, with a better state of mind. The contrast between what was and what could have been forced her into the same silence that had accompanied her whole childhood. 

“You’re more stubborn than what I remembered.” Mary stared at her own hands. “I don’t know what else to tell you. I think some more time apart could do us good. Help us calm down, a bit.”

“You’d like to meet again?” asked Ririka, low.

“I guess.” Saotome touched her brow. “This… is not enough. For either of us, I bet.”

Ririka hesitated. She looked at her glass, at the moisture it left on her fingers. She thought about it. Then, once she was sure of what she was about to say she murmured, “I’m glad you accepted to meet me here, and I’m glad I got to see you again, even after all that happened. But…” She took a deep breath. “I don’t think we should meet again.”

Saotome furrowed her brows. “Why?”

“We’ve always been very different. I don’t think that will change any time soon, or at all, for all that matters. Certain things just aren’t meant to be understood either, I guess.” Ririka thought about her sister and the ring on her hand. About the child in her lap, babbling around a milk bottle. She had never felt more different than her.

“We have our lives now. We have already reached the top, and not even. We’re too old to believe in winners.”

Ririka smiled. It was so very small, but it was the first time she smiled since they had met again. It dripped sadness over her words. “We used to be friends. If we’re here now, it wasn’t enough. You know it as well as I do.”

With tiredness came an aching peace. Something hurting quietly between her ribs as Saotome leaned back in her chair and Ririka’s doubts did the same, protesting. 

“So that’s what it is?” Saotome stared at her. “We have no more use for each other, and that’s the end of it? You’re as fucked up as your family, Ririka.”

“We’re not that different in that regard.” Ririka set down her glass after drinking the last few drops. “And you shouldn’t be surprised. The first time you met me you accused me of much worse.”

Saotome’s lips trembled. She fell silent. As Ririka let her eyes wander over her calm features, she made a list, reminders, one after the other, that this was the right choice. She’d have all the time to regret it, but it had been years since she had touched a fiche. There was no more need for a gambling partner.

As Mary got up, Ririka offered to pay for her drink. She refused.

“You must admit, this isn’t much of a closure,” she said.

Ririka nodded to herself. “Better than last time, at least.”

Saotome scoffed. “If that’s what you think.”

She lingered just a moment longer. Ririka bore her gaze with all the courage she could muster as the cold air of the evening drew goosebumps on their skin.

“Goodbye, then,” said Mary eventually.

“Goodbye. And good luck,” replied Ririka.

Saotome entered the bar to pay and left at once. She joined the rest of the faceless passersby who were taking over the night, biting into life before life could do the same with them.  

Instinctively, Ririka tried to drink again, forgetting that her glass was empty. She thought that people aren’t so different from ships; that they all have storms to fear and ports to choose. Most importantly when time gets to shape them. The logical question for things that grow: like Theseus’ ship, one had to shed their old selves if they wanted to live on. Even if it was painful. 

It was what Ririka had done with her masks, all of them. The woman who was leaving now was no different from the girl who had walked away years ago. 

Ririka imagined Tatsunori in her sister’s arms, the warmth of Kirari’s parting hug. 

She cleared her throat. Meeting a waiter’s gaze, she signaled him to bring her another glass.  

When Saotome disappeared, Ririka’s eyes were still set on the black mass of the ocean.