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The rattling was the first thing you heard as consciousness returned to you. Next was the shooting pain in your arms. When you tried to rub your face and found you couldn’t, you came to realize your arms must have been bound behind your back.
You strained against the ache and attempted to open your eyes. However, when you peeled them open you were only met with darkness. Above and below your line of vision was light, with a sigh you discern you were blindfolded.
You stilled when voices drifted toward you.
“… the items?” one voice spoke, their words muffled. You shifted as quietly as you could, trying to hear a little clearer.
“Yeah … all the stuff … have it packed away in … did … get the package?” Another joined the conversation. They sounded gruffer than the first.
There was shuffling around you, heavy objects shaking the ground you were laying on, glass and metal rattled against one another all while the sound of laughter mixed in. A hand wrapped around your ankle and violently pulled you close. You gasped at the sudden movement.
“Package is safe and secure,” the voice was much closer than it was a few seconds ago. You could hear them so clearly, you expected that they were directly in front of you. If only you could get a visual.
“Now, I know you.” spoke another, “Don’t go getting any wild ideas, we need her alive.” they explained.
“Yeah, yeah.” confirmed the first, and you heard footsteps walking away. “I guess I’ll have to figure out some other way to have fun with you…” you felt a gritty finger stroke your lips which made you jerk backward.
“Don’t touch me,” you ordered, your lips had a hint of salt and dirt on them.
The man, who you dreaded to see, laughed, “You’ve got some fight in you. I’ll enjoy breaking your spirit.” Without warning, you were shoved backward, your head hitting something hard. You heard the sound of laughter and the flutter of cloth before you passed out.
——
When you awoke again your nose scrunched from the smell of burning wood. The crackling of the logs floating into the air - it’s night now? You guessed. How long had you been out? How long had this whole ordeal been going on. The last thing you remembered was making your way down the snow-covered path of Dragonspine. You could still recall the bitter wind biting your skin. Did you even make it all the way down the mountain? Why can’t I remember, you thought.
Shifting, you found your hands were still bound behind you. They were starting to go numb and that numbness was moving up your arms. Rolling onto your stomach, and using your legs and shoulders as support, you pushed yourself up onto your knees.
Behind you, a door opened and footsteps sounded on the hardwood. Jerking your head toward the footsteps you attempted to shuffle away from them. Knocking into several items as you barrel your way through the unknown space.
“Look, she’s trying to get away from us.” The gruffer man chuckled.
“Well, get her. We need to send the message.”
The footsteps got closer to you and without warning, you were lifted from the ground. Two meaty hands gripping onto your arms. Violently you shook yourself in a futile attempt to escape their touch. Everything was so jarring because you couldn’t see, you couldn’t prepare your body for the sudden change in direction, or in this case, deceleration. The man holding you dropped you roughly into a seat, its back creaked from the sudden impact.
Your heart was beating so fast you thought it would break through your ribs.
“Cut the ropes.”
When you felt the pressure around your wrists loosen, you figured this may be the best time to make your move. You still had the blindfold over your eyes and you wondered how easily you could pull it up and make a break for it. To bide time, you tried to get information.
“Who are you and what do you want with me?” You demanded, raising your sore wrists to your chest and rubbing them. The distance between your hands and the blindfold cut in half.
“You’re in no position to be asking questions,” Replied the one in front of you. You sense the other was still standing behind the chair, his position would make it a challenge to get away.
“I have a right to know,” you retorted, “you won’t even show me your faces. You must be cowards to keep a girl blindfolded.” – take the bait.
You were jostled suddenly, the man behind you grabbing onto your neck with one hand and ripped the blindfold off with the other. As your eyes adjusted to the room you noticed how run-down it was, there was a fire burning in the dilapidated chimney which lit up the broken furniture sprawled about the room. You were forced to look upward and for the first time caught a glimpse at your captors.
The man was thick, his neck bulging with muscle. His chin and jawline were covered in hair but didn’t hide the snarl plastered on his mouth. You could tell he’d been in countless fights before just by the number of scars on his face. He looked like a normal person though; your mind had imagined him to be much more sinister looking.
“Don’t you dare call us cowards, little girl?” His teeth were not well kept. Seeing how he looked energized you, not only were they ordinary people, but they also fell for your trick.
“I almost have this message ready, get me something sharp.” The other spoke which caused the scruffy one to release your head. When you looked down you saw the other one bent over a table, his hands feverishly scribbling on paper. Behind him was a door, and you could tell by the missing pieces it was the door to your escape. Sensing the man behind you was further away than before you steeled yourself in preparation. It was now or never.
With a violent burst, you rushed past the smaller of the two, his shock causing him to lose precious time to react. The doorknob was rough, only adding to the fact that this building had been abandoned a long time ago. You prayed the door was a push instead of a pull.
Toppling through the entrance you found yourself outside. Your heart was pounding in your chest but skipped as you saw there were five other men standing just a bit away from you. The voice in your head told you they were not on your side. Yelling from inside the house warned you your time was shrinking. There was no other way forward than to barrel past the five men.
Mustering all the strength you had, you propelled yourself toward them. Dashing and ducking under desperate hands the path in front of you was urging you onward. You could see the road just in front of you, you were about to get away.
With unbelievable force, your hair was yanked back making you scream in incredible pain. “Where do you think you’re goin'!?”
Your body collided against a burly chest and before you had a chance to stabilize yourself the man flung you back toward the building. You struck the ground hard, your hands and knees scraping against the loose dirt. Coughing, you made out the sounds of feet stopping just before you.
“Fucking bitch thought she could get one over on us?” spat the man who threw you. He walked up and kicked you hard in the stomach which made you gasp in pain.
“Pick her up and take her back into the house.” you heard him walking past you and felt the touch of many hands lift you up and drag you back up the road, away from your freedom.
When the pain in your stomach starts to subside, you find yourself back in the house seated in the chair and facing the man who had been writing.
“That was a pretty futile attempt, wasn’t it.” He spoke, his head still looking down at his paper. When he finished writing he looked up at you and let you take him in. His face was thin and long, his hair folded around his face which hid some of its features. His eyes were dark and empty.
“It looks like you got some cuts because of it,” his hand reached out to you, his eyes looking over your face. You watched his expression shift from indifference to fury as your spit slapped his eyes. Weakly you smiled, knowing at least you could still do this much.
The man’s jaw clenched and pulsated, he wiped the spit from his cheek before leaning backward and grabbed something shiny from the table, you shifted seeing it was a knife.
“Hold her down.” Hands snaked around your body. You did all you could to resist, shaking and pulling in the opposite direction of the restraints, but couldn’t wiggle away. The man holding the knife reached for your wrist and slammed it onto the table, forcing your hand palm up.
The light from the fire flickered across the metal and, even as you resisted, you had to watch it descend on your palm. You let out a whine as it cut the soft flesh of your palm. Its edge digging into your skin as if it were butter.
“Thank you for this.” The man smirked, showing you your blood as it dripped down the knife before spitting back into your face. You were left to experience every horrible sensation of his saliva as the warm liquid trailed down your neck.
You watch the blood pool in your palm and the man clean the knife with the message he’d been writing earlier.
“How will they know the blood is hers?” Asked one of the many men holding you still.
“Hmm, maybe we need to send something else?”
You feel their hands search over your body, touching and messing with your clothes, reaching their disgusting fingers under your ripped clothes. You squirmed hating the feeling of their hands on you.
A sweaty hand touched the flushed skin under your shirt, “I think I have something!” They shouted and you watched as they pulled out the necklace which had been kept safely under your clothes.
As is dangled in your view, your mind drifted back to the day you first laid your eyes on the necklace.
Kaeya and you had been wandering around Mondstadt during one of the few days off he’d had in a while. The young woman outside of the jewelry store was eagerly ushering people into her shop, and as she spotted you, two she took no time to get her sales pitch ready.
“Captain Kaeya,” she began, “it’s nice to see you! Oh, and I see you have your beautiful partner here with you.” Her smile spread from ear to ear. “I have just the perfect thing for the two of you,” she turned around and grabbed something off of one of the display cases inside the window of her shop. Without pausing, she grabbed your hand and placed the necklace around your neck, letting the pendant fall against your exposed skin.
“Oh, this is very kind of you, but I couldn’t possibly wear something like this.” You noted, even as you admired its craftsmanship. The pendant was the size of a small coin. Inside the metal ring was a stunning sapphire which was surrounded by engraved flowers. It was incredible how much detail there was in such a small thing. As you attempted to take the necklace off you heard the woman excitedly thank you for your purchase.
“Thank you!” Her voice going up an octave, “This special piece not only enhances her beauty, but it also will bring good fortune.” She beamed and you were still confused even after walking away from the shop.
“Kaeya, you didn’t have to buy this!” You express.
“How could I not when it looked so beautiful on you,” He responded, kissing the pendant and letting it fall back against your chest.
The world stilled as the man ripped the necklace from your throat. It had been a part of you for so long, its absence left you even more exposed than you already were.
“No!” Lunging forward you tried to grab it back but strong hands gripped your shoulders and held you against the chair. A hot hand now at your throat.
“This will be perfect.” The man cooed as he placed it on the blood-stained paper, “he’ll definitely get the message.” There was a long silence as the message was folded up and placed into an envelope. You could hear the chain rattle inside. “Take her to that back room, and make sure she can’t escape.”
With your eyes still locked on to the letter, you were escorted through the house. A dark door soon separated you from the main room.
The heavier set man held you in place as a few others grabbed a large chain that had been fastened to the back wall. As they placed rusted cuffs over your wrists, you felt a chill run through you.
“Don’t get any more funny ideas.” He commanded, his face only inches from yours, “you’re going to help us get revenge on that Favonius Captain.” With that, they left you alone in the cold, dark room.
After you couldn’t hear their footsteps anymore you desperately attempted to pull the chain loose from its holding. You didn’t care how much it hurt to tug and struggle against its confinements; you only cared about getting loose. Even when you felt the warmth of your blood you didn’t stop struggling. Even as your voice started to give out you didn’t stop screaming. Even though you kept telling yourself you’d get out somehow, there was something inside of you filling up with fear. You felt like a wild animal caught in a trap, and the hope of freedom drifted away once the sun peeked its way through the broken ceiling.
–
You begged them to let you be, but they didn’t listen, they didn’t care. They kept terrorizing you until you thought you’d break. They kept you chained to the wall with your hands behind your back, they took turns shoving you around and hitting you, they made so much noise you couldn’t sleep, they’d tell you every horrible thing they would do to you if the captain never showed up. The man told you he’d break you, and that’s exactly what was happening.
You didn’t know how long you’d been there, days? Weeks? It felt like an eternity. The walls had already closed in around you as if to entomb you there, the floor had started to leave indents in your skin as if to mark you forever. It was a constant challenge to get comfortable. Closing your eyes, you attempted to slip deeper into the nothing which claimed you. As a defense mechanism, your mind started to shut down on itself, retreating to a time and place where you knew peace. It was the only thing that kept you breathing, the only thing that kept you from succumbing to their constant torture. If you didn’t react, would they eventually leave you to rot in this damp, dreadful place?
You didn’t pick up on the sounds outside, to you everything sounded like static. The door to your cell opened but you kept your eyes closed, it didn’t matter who was coming to get you, you just hoped it would be the last time. The sensation of being touched was nothing new. The bruises covering your body had left your skin numb, the grime from being unable to clean yourself provided a protective barrier between you and whatever person placed their hands on you.
You didn’t open your eyes, you just laid there like a doll even as you felt lifted upward. Even when you felt the pressure lessen on your arms and wrists, even when the biting metal around your wrists was gone, you kept your eyes closed. You wondered if they were pleased by how empty you were. You didn’t cry anymore when they entered the room, you didn’t beg them to let you sleep, you didn’t try to block their strikes … you were basically a shell that had already been pried open by eager fingers.
Even the sound of your own name didn’t draw you to attention.
“Kaeya …” someone spoke the name of the person you longed to see. The person who you’d see in your mind’s eye and would offer you reprieve from your surroundings. “We captured everyone we could find, there doesn’t seem to be anyone else here.”
“Good, I’ll deal with them personally.” You knew that voice. You knew it … right? Opening your eyes you saw Kaeya kneeling in front of you. His head was turned to look at something, but even if it was just his profile, you knew it was Kaeya. This could just be another one of goons tricks. He wasn’t actually here, was he?
With a shaky hand, you reached out to touch the mirage. You still weren’t sure if it was real, even when you connected with solid matter. “Kaeya …?” your voice was painful to use, after days of screaming and crying you wondered if you’d ever be able to speak again.
You watched as the image of Kaeya snapped its head to look at you. When you caught its expression, you knew it couldn’t be him. You’d never seen Kaeya so devastated.
“Y/N?” His voice was shaky and wrought with emotion. As gingerly as he could he placed his hand over the fingers which had been extended to touch him. “Can you hear me?”
“Are you … really Kaeya?” a small light inside of you tried to ignite. You hoped, prayed this was real and not one of the fantasies your mind made up. The weak match of your heart stuck again, “Please, tell me you’re real.”
“Y/N, I’m real. It’s really me.” You felt his hands against your face, the first bit of warmth you’d experienced in a while. The fire you thought would never burn again flickered with the dimmest flame.
“Kaeya …” his name tumbled from your mouth and the tears spilled out after them. You couldn’t lift your arms, and everything about you hurt, but nothing compared to the pain of your heart as it started beating again. You couldn’t stop saying his name in fear that if you stopped he’d disappear from your sight again.
Hands brushed away the falling tears and after a few minutes warm arms wrapped around you tightly, and even though the muscles and bones in your body yelled from the contact you didn’t want it to stop. You used every last bit of strength you had to reach your arms around his neck, around the one person who could bring you back from this, the one person who could save you from anything, even yourself.
Through your cries, and the sound of his name sprinkled between your sobs, you could have sworn you heard sniffling against your neck.
“I’m sorry it took me so long, but I made it.” Kaeya muttered, his voice quiet.
Just then, you felt yourself be lifted into the air. Your legs supported by strong arms, and your back properly enveloped by Kaeya.
“I … was so scared.” You wept into his shoulder, pulling him in deeper, afraid if you weren’t this close somehow you’d find yourself alone again. “I didn’t think … I … ”
“Shhh, I’ve got you.” his lips pressed against your dirty forehead.
“Kaeya, are you really here?” you ask again, begging him for reassurance.
“I’m here, I’ve got you.” he stated again, placing a soft kiss over your beating heart.
You don’t know how long it took you to make it back to the Knights Headquarters. All you know is that Kaeya never let you go.
Even though his heart stung, and he wanted desperately to know everything you went through - his biggest fears getting the best of him - he was willing to wait until you were ready. When you got back he made sure you got the best treatment, not just for the physical damage, but psychological too.
—-
For months he did what he could to ensure you were comfortable. If you started to get overwhelmed by being in a small space, he’d take you outside. If you became hyper fixated on something, or overly aware of every sound, smell, movement, he’d offer you his hands and have you focus on them instead. He’d ensure a knight was near you no matter where you were - even months after the incident, he’d insist it was for the best. It wasn’t until six months later that reluctantly let you handle doing things the way you normally did.
“Kaeya,” you reassured him as you started getting dressed for your first commission. “I appreciate everything you did for me. Everything you continue to do for me.” Glancing over your shoulder you caught him watching you with his arms crossed. “The nuns really helped me too, I finally feel like I can walk around outside without jumping at every little thing, and they encouraged me to try working the things I love back into my routine.” You slung the strap of your bag over your head and shifted it onto your shoulder until it felt comfortable.
“I still don’t like it,” His voice was stern, which was a common tone these last six months.
“I know - and I’m not going alone. I’m going with Amber; she assured me she’d be there to help out.” He only answered in a huff. You made your way over to your knight and placed a reassuring palm against his face. “I love you, and I promise to be back. Plus,” you started, pulling out a small necklace from around your neck, “I always have you close to me.”
You caught his eyes looking at the small pendant attached to the bottom of the chain. His hand reached up to settle the small ornament in his palm.
His eyes looked back up to yours, “You swear to return to me safely?” You could tell how worried he was, even though the eye patch he always wore.
“I swear.”
With that, he sealed your promise with a kiss and watched, with pain in his heart, as you made your way down the steps toward a beaming Amber and beyond the gate where he had no control.
“You should have just stayed where I can see you,” He began, speaking the words into the wind, “how can I let you out of my sight now …”