Chapter Text
It had been two years since Midoriya left UA and two and a half years since Bakugo and Midoriya fought at Ground Beta. They were in their final year and still, no one had heard from Midoriya. The only glimpses they got were the rare photograph taken by a civilian. Bakugo’s classmates had mostly accepted that he wasn’t coming back, but he and Aizawa hadn’t. They were the only ones that still held out hope.
Bakugo stood in front of his bathroom mirror. In the last two years he had grown taller, almost crossing 6’5 and his muscles had become more defined, more pronounced. But so had the weight of the world he felt on his shoulders. He stared at his phone for a moment, thinking back to the night after he had dragged the nerd out to Ground Beta to beat the shit out of him, only to end up in tears. He had spent his whole life wanting to be the number one hero. He was always taller, stronger, faster, more aggressive, more willing to go the extra mile. He wanted to win. It was his passion that fueled him, even when his anger got the best of him. And still, Midoriya managed to catch up to him, to be better than him. The idiot got to be the number one hero’s favorite. Got to train with him. Got taken under his wing. It ate away at him back then, more so that night than any other time. Despite All Might’s speech, he still felt he was the reason the man had lost his power. And even then, Midoriya understood. He could see it on his face, hear it even as he told Bakugo how much he looked up to him. He hadn’t realized the impact he had on the nerds life until that night and god it made him feel like an asshole. He had spent years beating up a kid who just wanted to be like him. He was Midoriya’s All Might. That’s essentially what he had said that night and it broke him.
The day after the Ground Beta fight, he felt something different. When he saw Midoriya, he didn’t see the annoying kid that got on his nerves anymore. He saw a true rival. Someone that had the same goal as him and would do anything to get there. But there was also something else.
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2 and a half years ago – The day after Ground Beta
Bakugo had heard the nerd making shitty excuses to everyone stopping him, asking where he was going, but Kirishima saw through the bullshit.
“You’re lying,” Kirishima said. Midoriya had just told Aoyama and Denki that Kirishima had left homework for him with Bakugo, but Aizawa had given the class strict orders to not share any notes with either of them. They would just have to catch up.
“I didn’t take Bakugo any work, Aizawa told us we couldn’t, so where are you heading Midoriya?”
Bakugo wanted to swing open the door, but he was more curious to hear where the conversation would go.
“I know something happened between you and Bakugo,” Kirishima said in a hushed tone. “He wont tell me, but he seems spooked so if you’re going to check on him, I understand why you don’t want anyone to know. But he’s my friend, so if it’s bad, please, I want to know, to help.”
Kirishima wasn’t always the brightest bulb, but he was good, Bakugo thought to himself.
“I just want to check on him,” Midoriya whispered.
“Okay,” Kirishima answered. He heard Shitty Hair’s footsteps retreat and opened the door to Midoriya, standing there looking shocked.
“Sorry, I was trying to – ” he started.
“To lead people off your trail in the worst possible way,” Bakugo mumbled.
Midoriya ducked under his arm and sat at his desk. Bakugo closed his door and took a deep breath in. He had spent the whole day with the nerd cleaning and for some reason, he couldn’t get him out his mind. It was infuriating. The night before he couldn’t sleep, his mind always leading him back to Deku. The kid had fallen asleep on the couch, and in order to keep them both out of trouble when Aizawa returned, he carried him back to his room and left a note so he wasn’t confused. Damn nerd had slept through dinner so Bakugo snuck a plate up to his room and texted him to stop by.
" You have to eat it here,” he mumbled. “Mic’s on patrol tonight and I don’t want to hear his loud mouth when he catches you eating in the hall.”
Midoriya nodded. “Thanks for this,” he mumbled as he picked up the chopsticks next to the plate of food.
“Whatever,” Bakugo mumbled, flopping onto his bed. He reached over to turn on his speaker, letting Mansion by NF play softly before he picked up the book they were reading for English. It was past his bedtime, but he knew he wouldn’t sleep anyway.
“I can eat… in the dark if you want to sleep,” Midoriya offered. The damn thing was selfless to a fault. Bakugo looked up at him, at the green curls that flopped carelessly over his eyes.
“I’m not tired,” he mumbled. “Staying up last night has thrown my sleep schedule.”
“Same,” Midoriya answered.
Bakugo stared at him for a moment before he went back to pretending to read. When Midoriya finished eating, he grabbed some wipes Bakugo had left on the desk and wiped his hands and the plate, tossing them both in an empty plastic bag Bakugo had left on the desk. The kid was too good, Bakugo decided, too kind. He put the book down and shifted to the edge of his bed, hand in his head, unsure of what to do with the thoughts he had running through his mind. Thoughts about Midoriya. Thoughts he never thought he would have.
“Kacchan,” Midoriya whispered. “Are you okay?”
He got up and moved across the room, moving to sit on the floor in front of Bakugo.
“No,” Bakugo croaked. “Yes, but no. What… what are you doing to me Deku?”
“What do you mean?” Green eyes peered up at him, confused but not.
“I … the other night… I didn’t sleep because I was up all night thinking..” he whispered.
Midoriya didn’t say anything. He just waited.
“Of you,” Bakugo damn near yelled. “ I couldn’t fucking sleep because I couldn’t get you out my fucking head.”
“Me either,” Midoriya whispered.
When he looked up, Midoriya wasn’t looking at him, but he could see his cheeks had burned a deep red.
“What… what do you… what?”
“I was awake all night thinking of you,” Midoriya answered, not making eye contact. I couldn’t get you out my head either Kacchan. I couldn’t stop thinking about how you’ve spent so long aiming to be the best, when you already are. How you already seem to understand what it means to be a hero. How I .. want to be just like you. But even then, I couldn’t stop thinking about the way your hand felt against mine, about how I wanted to tell you everything I’ve felt as we sat in the common room. I can’t stop thinking about the way I feel about you Kacchan.”
Bakugo shot out of bed, pacing. Midoriya watched, unsure of what to do. He watched as Bakugo pressed his head against the door, as he paced some more, his arms behind his head. Bakugo had never found himself this… unhinged in his life. But here he was, unable to think straight. He was jerked out of his thoughts at the sight of Midoriya reaching for the doorknob and suddenly, he lost control of his body. He was there, next to Midoriya, grabbing his hand before he could open the door.
“What do you want?” Midoriya asked, pain and confusion clear as day in his eyes.
Bakugo paused, his thoughts catching up to his body, when he decided what he wanted. He pressed Midoriya against the door, his left arm above his head, his fingertips brushing against his hair. His other hand still held Midoriya’s wrist.
“This,” Bakugo whispered.
It was then that his lips touched Midoriya’s. It was soft at first, asking the damn nerd if this was okay, if this was what he wanted. He was worried, that it wasn’t, and he wasn’t sure what he would do in the face of rejection, but Midoriya responded swiftly, one hand cupping Bakugo’s face, the other reaching around his neck, pulling him in closer. Bakugo felt a band in his chest pop and he softened in Midoriya’s arms, finding something he didn’t realize he was missing. When he pulled back, he felt relaxed, less unsure of his decision.
“I… that’s what I wanted to do yesterday,” Midoriya whispered. “When you told me everything, I just.. I just wanted to kiss you but I … I didn’t know. I thought I was the only one that felt this way.”
“No,” Bakugo answered assuredly, “It wasn’t just you Deku.”
He snaked his arm around Midoriya’s waist, pulled him in once more.
Bakugo nor Midoriya had told anyone about them. For the rest of the year, they just pretended they had fixed their problems. But at night, they found solace in each other’s arms. They trained longer together, stayed up late talking about everything. And then Bakugo got stabbed. He was trying to save the damn nerd from Shigaraki’s attack when he felt something hit his stomach. His eyes were on Midoriya, they always were, but he saw the pain, the fear, the shock in Midoriya’s eyes before he realized he had been impaled. Midoriya was there in a flash, holding him tight once more before handing him over to Todoroki. Pressing his lips against his forehead, begging him to survive this. He held Bakugo’s face one last time, but it was in that moment that Bakugo saw something he had never seen in Midoriya’s face before. Something that told him, long before it actually happened, that he might not see Midoriya again. He grabbed his hand as best as he could before the nerd could slip away, trying to keep him with him, trying to tell him the three words he had never found the courage to say, but he too was slipping, he could feel himself losing consciousness, but he had to know that Midoriya knew. So when Midoriya squeezed his hand, and whispered, “I love you too Kacchan,” in front of Todoroki, it didn’t bother him. He was more worried the nerd wouldn’t return than he was of his own fate. And then he found himself slipping, unable to hold tight to reality any longer. When he woke in the hospital, Todoroki was there with him.
“Been watching me sleep Icy Hot?”
“He said he loved you too,” Todoroki answered, his voice emotionless. “I wasn’t sure if you were conscious enough to hear him, but I figured you’d want to know he loved you.”
“I heard,” Bakugo whispered.
“I underestimated you,” Todoroki said. “I didn’t think you were capable of loving anyone.”
“Yeah,” Bakugo said, more to himself than to the damn half and half bastard. “I didn’t think I was either.”
"He's gone, isn't he," Bakugo said.
"Yeah," Todoroki answered. "He told me to give you this, and to tell you that he's sorry and that he'll be okay."
Bakugo stared at the cold metal thing Todoroki had given to him. It was the All Might keychain he had practically begged for on their first date. Bakugo stared at the damn thing, the only thing he had left to remind him of Midoriya felt strange and cold in his hands. When Aizawa stopped by later that night with Midoriya's notebook, he felt a bit better. He poured himself into reading the pages over and over. Reading the notes the nerd had taken on him.
"I want to be as great as Kacchan, but if I only get to watch him be great, I can be happy with that too."
Bakugo sobbed that night. For the first time in a long time he let the tears fall, finally understanding the weight of this loss.
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Bakugo put his toothbrush down and flopped back in his bed. He didn’t know how to face anyone today. Aizawa kept suggesting therapy. He was the only other person that knew about him and Midoriya, and it was only because Icy Hot blabbered to him. He couldn’t blame him though. Finding out your brother was alive and a villain that wanted you, your father and the rest of your family dead was a lot of pressure and the damn kid always looked like he was one pot of tea away from boiling over.
He unlocked at his phone and opened the chat he had with Midoriya.
Please come back.
I miss you.
I’m sorry I couldn’t do enough.
Izuku, please just let me know you’re alive.
Please.
I don’t know if I can do this without you.
He hadn’t sent a text in months. He was afraid. Not that he wouldn’t reply, but that one day he’d get an error message in response. That would mean that there was no more chances. No more Midoriya. No more Deku. That alone was enough to kill Bakugo. He had his foot on the ledge a lot lately. There was no one to push him anymore. The closest he had gotten was Shinsou, part of which he knew was because Midoriya had inspired the kid. He was second in the class, behind Bakugo, but he knew Shinsou was closer and closer to passing him. The kid was getting better and better by the day with Aizawa’s help, and even though he was invited to every single training session, Bakugo turned it town. He had to earn it, for Midoriya’s sake. He stared at the phone for a while, then decided he would test his luck.
Happy Ground Beta Anniversary Nerd. I still miss you.
He watched the message for a while, and sighed in relief when the delivered notification popped up underneath. Sighing, he stood up and walked towards his closet to change. First day of the last semester of his final year, he had to look like he didn’t just get out of bed and walk to class. He turned Mansion by NF on, smiling to himself as he thought back to that night and decided to wear a deep green shirt to class under his usual leather jacket. He shifted back to the bathroom, running his hand through his hair. It had gotten long over the Christmas break. He would cut it when he found the time. Instead, he slicked it up into a bun and laughed for a second when he realized he almost looked like Aizawa.
“You’ve got this,” he whispered to himself as he packed his bag. There was a short knock on the door before it opened. He didn’t look up, already knowing who it was. He tossed one last notebook in his bag, the torn thing barely holding itself together and clipped the bag shut.
“Ready to conquer our last semester?”
Kirishima leaned against the door frame. His crimson hair flowed down his back. He had gotten the left side shaved, but some of it still fell forward, hiding the right side of his face.
“Something like that,” Bakugo mumbled.
“Always a ray of sunshine,” Kirishima laughed. It echoed around the room and for a moment, Bakugo felt like everything was going to be okay.
He tossed his bag on his back and turned to walk towards Kirishima when he realized the crimson haired freak was already next to him, snaking his arm around his waist.
“I missed you,” he whispered.
Bakugo wrapped his arms around Kirishima, burying his head in the crook of his neck.
Kirishima laughed, “I guess you missed me too.”
“Don’t get too cocky,” Bakugo mumbled before he pulled back and pressed his lips against Kirishima’s.
“That would make me you,” he chuckled. “I already have that, so there’s no need for me to become you as well.”
Bakugo swatted at Kirishima and grabbed his keys, tucking his phone in his pocket, deciding he could conquer this semester if he had this to come home to everyday.
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The morning classes were basically third year orientation and Bakugo sat at the back of the class annoyed out of his mind. He didn’t imagine what more orientation he needed after putting his life on the line for the last 3 years. He wasn’t a hero just yet, and he didn’t feel like it, but he knew he had more experience than some hero’s with full licenses had. It wasn’t that these orientations were a waste of time, they just didn’t make any sense to him. His entire class had already had more than enough trauma to last a lifetime. Some more than others. But he also understood the need for a sense of normalcy.
His last class for the day was with Aizawa and to be honest he had been looking forward to it all day. He knew the man was as exhausted as he was, probably more to be honest, and he had never been one to be interested in orientation. But when he sat down and Aizawa started droning on about expectations for third year, Bakugo damn near lost his mind.
“You too?”
“Is there something I can do for you Bakugo?” Aizawa looked at Bakugo with tired eyes, practically begging him to shut up.
“No, I just didn’t expect you to drone on about orientation and stuff too, you never have,” he mumbled. In his pocket, his phone vibrated once and he pulled it out, but didn’t look at it, too focused on what Aizawa was going to reply.
“Give him a break Bakubro,” Denki laughed. “Let’s enjoy one day of nothingness before he shoves us into the field to get our asses handed to us.”
“To get your ass handed to you dumbass,” Bakugo retorted. He wasn’t as mean to Denki as he used to. The kid had gotten a really good grip on his power and didn’t short out anymore. He wasn’t sure if it was the trauma, or losing Deku, but everyone seemed to have powered up and found their best self after that. Everyone except him. He still felt stuck where he was.
“He’s somewhat right,” Aizawa answered. “But no, I’ve been your teacher for the last two and a half years and we’ve all lost a lot, some more than others.”
Bakugo looked at Aizawa, who stared back at him with eyes that made it clear he was talking to him. His phone vibrated again, reminding him he had an unread message.
“But I want you all to remember that being a hero is more than loss and pain and frustration,” Aizawa answered. “You all have each other, and I don’t want you to lose that, not the way Hizashi and I lost…” he trailed off.
“But we already have,” Todoroki mumbled.
“I know,” Aizawa said. “That’s why I want to use this class to remind you all that you can’t lose each other. You can’t lose what’s left.”
His phone vibrated again, and he turned to look at it, deciding Aizawa was getting soft. He needed to escape. But what he saw on his phone didn’t make sense. It had to be a joke. He gasped.
Message from Deku
Bakugo felt fear for the first time he had since that day he lost him. He was so lost, staring at his phone that he didn’t realize Aizawa had been calling his name. That Aizawa had gotten fed up and walked to the back of the class, prepared to smack Bakugo back from where he had gone when he heard the man whisper, “fuck.” Under his breath.
“Open it,” Aizawa mumbled.
But Bakugo couldn’t. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. He didn’t want it to be an error message.
“It might be an error,” he whispered. “I sometimes… I…”
“Outside,” Aizawa said. Grabbing him by the arm and dragging him to his office, leaving the class wondering what the hell was going on.
Bakugo flopped onto Aizawa’s couch, tears in his eyes.
“Sometimes,” Bakugo croaked. “Sometimes I text him… I just… I hope he’s getting them. That he knows we haven’t forgotten. That he knows we haven’t given up on him. He needs that, he always needed that Aizawa. How did we – why did we let him go?”
Aizawa nodded, staring blankly at the phone that sat between them. Bakugo was right. Midoriya needed that reminder. But he didn’t know Bakugo had been texting him, sending messages to a ghost for the last two years. It broke Aizawa, bringing him back to a pain he felt when he thought he could save a friend that was long lost. A pain he and Hizashi shared.
“Let’s open it together then,” Aizawa said softly.
Bakugo nodded, reaching for the phone. Unlocking it, pausing for a moment before he tapped on the message.
It wasn’t an error. There was no glitch. Tears poured from Bakugo’s eyes and Aizawa reached over, grabbing his arm, pulling him in close.
I wasn’t worried that you’d forgotten me Kacchan,
Meet me where it all began. Same time.
Don’t pin me too hard this time.
Bakugo shot up then, about to run out the room when he felt his wrists pulled back. He looked down to see Aizawa’s cloth wrapped around them.
“Don’t be stupid about this, it could be a trap.”
“It’s not, I promise you, the only person that knows what happened that night, down to the exact detail is Deku and All Might. It’s him Aizawa, it’s fucking him. He’s alive.”
“We knew this,” Aizawa said.
“No, we didn’t” he answered. “When All Might died he… there was no one left to keep track of him. Nothing to keep him sane, No one to keep the damn nerd from doing something stupid. And then…nothing. Silence. But he’s alive. I can feel it so let me fucking go.”
Aizawa sighed, staring at Bakugo who had spent the last two years in a bubble, locking out everyone but Kirishima who he sensed had just barely managed to wiggle his way in and bring Bakugo some well needed light. Light that Midoriya had taken with him. He knew deep down that it was Midoriya too. No one else called Bakugo Kacchan. Outside of UA it wasn’t a name anyone knew Bakugo by.
“I’m coming with you,” Aizawa said. “If it’s a trap … and it could be a trap, I don’t want you there by yourself. I need you to think reasonably. Im bringing Shinsou too, as much as I know you hate to admit it, if it is a trap, Shinsou is our best bet to getting out of it.”
Bakugo nodded. He didn’t care what he had to agree to, he just knew he was going to be there.
“10:15pm,” Bakugo said. “I’ll get there at 10. If it is him, and he’s skittish, I … don’t want him to run. But I can stall for 15 minutes if it isn’t him.”
Aizawa nodded. He trusted Bakugo enough to give him that leeway.
Bakugo grabbed his phone off the table and stalked back to his room. He didn’t know what to expect, but more than anything, he wanted to see Midoriya. He needed to see him. He’d never needed anything more.
I’ll try my best nerd,
see you then.
He sat on his bed staring at the phone. He watched as three bubbles popped up, indicating someone was typing and his heart jumped. But when it went away he knew. He knew that it was Midoriya thinking of what to say and deciding against it. He knew that it was his nerd that he was going to see tonight and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to bring him back with him. He was going to bring Midoriya home.