Work Text:
A Forgotten Memory.
Thunderstorms.
Flowers.
White.
Phil awakes with a start, forcing himself to take a breath. That’s the thousandth time he’s had that nightmare and he has yet to figure out what it means. He’d read countless scriptures and ancient writings, and though some ideas correlate, they can’t explain the various visions he’s had over the last hundred or so years. He can’t remember how long it’s been; It started a long time ago but only recently started picking up in frequency.
“Right, just the same old thing,” He breathes. Blankets are scattered across the floor; His bedroom’s a mess. He reaches out to his nightstand for a sip of water, and writes down the events of the dream to put away with the others. After a moment of hesitation, he slips out of bed and immediately stretches his wings. The anxiety that filled him a moment ago made them a bit tense for his liking.
Next he heads down the hall into the den. Opening a wooden cabinet, he organizes the messy papers and places in the new one. Then, sits himself on the rocking chair by the unlit fireplace to continue reading. At first finding the meaning to his dreams was a side task, not of too much importance. But now it was a priority. There had to be a reason. He looked out the large windows next to the front door, a perfect view of the front porch. Anyone else may have had only small windows built to their house, but Phil made a spacious place with a good view of the outside from the den. Windchimes hung from the posts of wood wrapped with vines of blooming flowers, and gently rang the sweet tunes.The outside was sunny, leaves from the trees rustling in the wind. He continued to flip the pages of his book at a regular pace, skimming each page for anything useful then moving on to the next.
Being the only human in the world was safe(er), and amazing, and terrifying, and lonely. Yet he was content. Phil had always been content with his role on a mysterious Earth. There was always something new to find or do. Until there wasn’t, and he’d done everything. Which is why he feels a need to find a purpose, a mission. Why was he the only human alive, again? He wouldn’t mind some company sometimes, sure, but he did well on his own. At least he did before fish would randomly disappear from the nearby river, and trees started dying, and he couldn’t sleep and-
Cattle trap. He forgot to check the cattle trap. He put on his armor for precaution and quickly went to find the trap. He really should organize his priorities better, this was too important to keep forgetting. To his surprise, something had finally caught in it. It had been days, and for a split second Phil was worried.
“Shit.” The cow had escaped, evidence left by the blood rusting on the metal and the trail through the forest.
“It couldn’t have gotten far, surely,” He pulls his sword from its sheath and follows the path until it strangely trails off.
“What the hell? Where did it go?” Phil searched everywhere nearby and there was no sight of it. Nowhere.
The sound of thunder rose around him. He looked up to see dark grey clouds, quickly moving across the sky to cover the sun.
“Oh you’ve got to be kidding.” Rain begins pouring down, first as a slight drizzle, then huge drops.
“That can’t be good, the last storm was rough-” Thunder rang out again much louder, lightning cracking in the distance. Yep, this would be bad. Pouding winds flew in, and that’s when he started running. Leaving the animal trap where it sat, he made a run for the house before it was too late. Though it wasn’t even cold, large pieces of hail started coming down, banging on his armor loudly. The winds were so fast he couldn’t fly if he tried. It was hard to stand as it was.
It was by far the worst storm he’d ever experienced, and it was only just beginning. Phil wasn’t even running anymore when he finally made it back home, he kept falling from the wind pushing him down and it took strength to stay upwards. Barreling up the steps and almost falling into the house, he has to push against the door to close it against the wind. The wooden house shakes; It wasn’t built for this type of weather. He briskly started boarding up the door with furniture, as he didn’t have any time to go downstairs into storage for wood. Ideally it would be smarter to go to the cave he found a while ago but it was too harsh outside to make it, or even have a chance. Thunder booms and shakes the ground. He backs away from the door to block the windows as well, but his time had run out. Lightning strikes directly in front of the windows. They shatter and Phil is thrown backwards from the impact of the storm. It’s as if he’s in slow motion it happens so fast. His ears ring and the world goes black.
-
And then it’s white.
He frantically looks around but there’s nothing.
“What the fuck- Am I dead?”
Then he sees her. She’s wearing a white dress with golden accents and all kinds of intricately patterned lace. A crown graces her head with a black glowing jewel. She looks so familiar yet...not. She’s running to him, and her arms are wrapped around him tightly before he can react.
“I missed you,” She says. Her voice is smooth like honey.
When she pulls away, she notices the look on Phil’s face.
“Phil?”
“I’m sorry...Do I know you?”
“You don’t- You don’t remember me?” Her voice shakes.
“I don’t. Should I?”
“No, no- Did I take too long? Oh no-?”
“Hey, are you okay? Sit down,” Phil helps her to the floor of the...void, as she starts spiraling.
“This can’t be happening, it can’t. I can’t believe it.”
“Just tell me what’s going on and maybe I can help. Do you know how I got here?”
I can show you, but you have to trust me.”
Phil contemplates for a moment, and decides she’s the closest thing he has to an answer as to why he’s here. So, he agrees.
“Okay.”
The woman smiles at him. “Give me your hand,” She requests.
He offers it to her in slight hesitance and she takes it, holding it gently in hers. She closes her eyes and seems to focus. Phil admires the beauty of her face while waiting for her explanation, in no rush. When her eyes open again he’s somewhere else.
-
The porch of a small dark brown shack, surrounded by bushes and vegetation. Misty rain brings out the smell of pine. The sun beams down through the trees in small openings.
“Phil? Phil come out here, it’s raining!” She laughs.
He follows her voice and meets her by the stream as it trickles down the small hill. She’s holding a pink lily in her hand, water droplets collecting on the petals.
“It’s the first rain in a long time, hm? What’s the occasion?”
“I’ve been waiting for a good time.”
“A good time to ask me something?”
She grins, “You already know what.”
Phil snickered. Of course he did, how could he forget? She loves dancing in the rain, it’s her favorite. He takes the flower from her hand and places it in her hair, before wrapping his hands around her waist as she held onto him, and they slowly swayed together next to the stream. She put her head against his chest to hear his heartbeat. It’s the only thing she loved more than the rain. The peaceful sound of the water made its own song just for them, and he hummed along to it for her. The only thing is, when they started to dance, chances are they wouldn’t want to stop. So they wouldn’t. And if they had to, they’d make time stop just to make their moment last a minute longer.
-
Phil wakes up next to her in the white.
“Kristen,” He gasps.
“You remember? You remember!”
He looks at her again, and suddenly he remembers everything. All at once all the memories come rushing back. He’s so happy to see her he doesn’t know what to do. So he kisses her. His lips crash into hers like an ocean wave, and they kiss like they haven’t kissed in hundreds of years, because they haven’t. When they finally pull away they’re out of breath. He can’t stop looking at her, because she’s gorgeous.
Then he starts thinking, why were they apart for so long? They were in love, and something drove her away, that’s right. Something happened. Why can’t he remember? Why did he forget her? Did he want to forget her? No, never, he would never. Why-
“Phil? Talk to me.”
“What happened? What happened to exploring the forests and deserts and, the whole world, together? What happened to waking up late and the sun shining down on us in the late afternoon? What happened to dancing in the rain? Why-”
“Phil, slow down.”
“I- I need to know. Where did you go?” His eyes were red and watery.
“I’ll tell you, I will. You know I’m the Goddess of the Earth, you do. What you don't know, is I’m the Goddess of more than that. I own this place, I reside here, I watch over you from here-”
“Wait, I do remember. You bring life to the Earth, look after it too. But what about the fish, and the trees? They’re dying! I can’t even find much to eat anymore, why are you doing this?”
“It’s not on purpose, I swear. I’ve been gathering energy, you see. Let me explain, please. When I visited you before, and I fell in love with you, I was taking a mortal form. And when you- when you died, I couldn’t bear it. I did everything to protect you yet I still failed. So I undid my form in grief. I felt it was my fault, and acted in such desperation to prevent it from happening again, I destroyed the form beyond repair. I could no longer return to Earth to be with you. I spoke with you when you got here. I promised I would see you again, so you agreed to leave, and return to Earth for the remainder of your time. You tried so hard for so long to remember me, but it had been so long there was nothing you could do. It was as if we never met. I needed you to remember me, I couldn’t stand the thought of being without you. I- The Earth was dying, because I was gathering its energy to cause the storm...to bring you to me.”
“My second life, you took it?”
“I did, I’m sorry.”
“I don’t care.” He hugs her again for the first time in ages. He’s home with her. He doesn’t want to let go, but he does eventually.
“So this is…”
“The afterlife, of sorts.”
“Right,” He looks around at the bright void. Then it hits. “Wait, if this is my second life…”
“You have to go back.”
“What?” His head jerks to face her, “No... I just got here.”
“What I did was wrong. I shouldn’t have caused that storm, I should’ve waited for you to return to me. I was selfish,” Kristen sighs.
“You were not selfish, don’t say that.”
“It doesn’t matter, you can’t stay here.”
“No, please don’t make me. I don’t want to forget you again, I can’t. You mean everything to me. I would do anything to stay here for just a little longer, you know that. I would do anything.” He starts to sob at the thought of being without her again.
“Hey, hey, look at me. Look at me, Phil. There is nowhere you could go where I wouldn’t be with you. I will always be with you,” She searched his eyes and found nothing but regret. She cupped his cheek and wiped his tears with her thumb.
He was fine without her, but knowing he’s without her again? He’s incomplete. He’ll never be able to move forward when the only goal he could ever have is her. He wants life with her. When there was adventure in his eyes and love in his heart. He’d kill to dance with her right now in the rain like they used to. His entire world is crumbling down and he just found it again.
“Please don’t leave me again, please!” He begs. She tries her hardest not to cry, to be strong for him, but tears still slip. She can’t help it.
“I’m so sorry. You know I love you, more than anything-”
“Then let me stay! Stay with me.”
“I- I can’t,” She whimpers, “ You have to go.”
“No, no,” He turns away. He can’t look at her anymore or it’ll hurt worse.
“I’ll see you again-”
“Don’t do that! Don’t do that to me-”
“I promise.”
Kristin places her hand over Phil’s, and he’s sent back to the Earth before he can protest any longer, and before she can change her mind.
-
Phil wakes up where he died. The storm has passed, it’s sunny and the sky is clear. His once beautiful cabin was reduced to a pile of rubble, completely destroyed in the storm. He can build a new house.
He doesn’t give a shit about the house.
He wants her.
He doesn’t have the strength to even get off the ground. He screams out for her knowing she’ll hear it. His body is wracked with sobs the second he reaches over to her, and she’s not there. She’ll never be there.
Though...she is. She’s the forest surrounding the wreckage he faces. She’s the river, and the rain. She’s the grass that covers every inch of the plains, and the moss that grows on every tree. She heals everything.
“I just found you again...and you found me. But I don’t want to forget again.” The words quietly leave his lips in the acceptance that he will forget again. And that’s a truth he can’t bear to accept.
Whether it be another 3 or 3,000 years, she won’t break her promise, though until then there’s nothing to be done. The wandering traveller had a purpose after all, hm?