Chapter Text
A/N: This is based on the Junji ito Book "No Longer Human" originally by Osamu Dazai. It's supposedly an autobiographical book, this one shot will deal with incest, suicide, rape, sexual situations,etc. If you've read the book then you know. I'm gonna be referring to the character of Yozo Oba by both that name and Osamu Dazai like the author. (The inspiration for this I'd also based on a song by Dir en Grey 'Aint Afraid To Die')
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"Come on! I don't like seeing you sad, look at me!!" I sniffed and wiped my tears against the sleeves of my school uniform. Mother and father always scold me for getting them dirty since they always buy expensive things.
My parents and Yozo's are both rich families, here in the small city of Kanagi, Japan. People would feel jealous at how fine our families would get along. They would wave whenever we'd go on walks, I have two older brothers, both whom are adopted and I'm the only biological daughter.
Yozo on the other hand has many brothers and sisters, eight of them. His father would spend most of his time away while his mother took care of her children and the babysitter would also help.
I smile wide when I see Yozo making funny faces. His funny faces always work on me, I was upset because I overheard my parents fighting again, my brothers stayed silent and went off elsewhere because they didn't want to listen.
"Seeing you smile will always be my top priority!" He salutes and laughs when he sees my blushing face.
"Haha it better be! I always feel happy when I'm with you." I swung my legs back and forth and jumped up from my spot on the swings.
"Race you to the park!" I tagged him and began running away. Lucky for us the park was right behind his house, so we made it quick and we began to play on the swings and climb on the monkey bars
I held onto the bars tight and swung my legs back and forth to reach the next one. "(Y/N)! What have I told you about doing that?!"
I glanced to see who said that and it was his older cousin, who always looked at me in disapprovement.
"Girls at your age shouldn't do that when boys are around!" She pulled me down and I looked back to see Yozo who's entire face was red. Was he looking the entire time?
I blush at the thought of it and continued to play innocent. "I don't know what you mean." I liked to piss her off, for some strange reason she's never liked me so I returned my thoughts on her too.
"Yozo wasn't doing anything! He was just cheering me up. We're the same age so we deserve to play together." I tell her and ignored his aunt who also came to check on us.
I wrap an arm around Yozo and the boy nodded happily. "You always want him to keep on telling joked and stories, you'll end up tiring him."
His cousin didn't look happy at all. "That's enough kids." His aunt stepped forward and placed a hand in Yozo's shoulder.
"Oh, look! It's them!" A few people walked past and some would stop to see us and comment on things.
"Aren't they cute together?!"
"Rumor has it that the youngest of both families are to be married."
I blushed when I also heard that. I did hear out parents exchanging conversations back then, they want Yozo and I to get married in the future. That would make me the happiest girl alive!
His cousin huffed and I noticed his aunt frowning. "Hey, want to have a sleepover?" I excitedly asked and took hold of his hand.
"Sure! We gotta go ask my mom." We began to run away and ignored his aunt shouting for him to stay still.
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"Lets tell some scary stories." I wiggle my fingers and made some spooky noises. Yozo and I were in my room, I had gotten out of taking a bath and for some strange reason I felt like I was being watched.
Either way I quickly got out and went back into my room. "How about you go first? Since I told one last time."
"Hmm alright, but try not to cling onto me later tonight!" I snuggled onto my blanket and stared at Yozo. The atmosphere for a scary story and sleepover was perfect.
Outside of my room the rain could be heard with slight thunder and candles were lit inside my room too so we wouldn't be entirely in the dark.
I paid my full attention on Yozo while he told the story, he's a really good story teller. I like his funny stories but I've gotten sick of hearing his cousin begging him to tell more and her annoying laughter.
I couldn't help but jump a bit when thunder roared and he got into an intense part of the story. I screamed when he suddenly tackled me to the ground, the story had ended on the protagonist being killed, Yozo really wanted to scare me.
"Sure you won't have nightmares?" Yozo joked still on top of me.
"Not at all! In fact I believe that you should become a writer." I smile and look up at him with curious eyes..I feel something down next to my parted leg.
My face burns red when I realized what it was. We both jumped and screamed when lightning crashed right outside my window.
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It's been several days since Yozo came to sleep over at my house, I've spotted him but everytime he would hide and avoid me. I'm sure he felt embarrassed at what happened that night but I really missed hanging out with him.
School ended for the day and I walked past Yozo's house. I spotted the gardner watering some flowers, he took his job seriously but he seemed like a creep to me alongside the babysitter.
She seemed to get closer to Yozo. I peeked my head up from the bushes and saw her walking outside while fixing her kimono. Her hair seemed messy and her kimono was almost fully open, leaving little to the imagination.
I decided to quickly leave before I would get caught staring.
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Days turned into weeks. Yozo and I were on speaking terms again but now he seemed to tone it out a but when it came to him joking, I was visiting him at the hospital and came as early as I could.
Whenever I would try to see him, his aunt or cousin would already be there and stay almost all day. I wanted to stay with him now.
"You're lucky on not heading to school, our new teacher is a nightmare." I told him and knew he was listening to me.
On the bed side table I saw many of his journals, I assume he was doing his homework there. "There's also this new student in class, every girl has been chasing him."
"Is he really that attractive?"
I shrug my shoulders and turn to look at him, "I guess, I for one am not interested in him. He's not my type, he's always serious and keeps to himself."
Why can't he realize that I like him.
I notice Yozo staying silent again and I saw his hands shaking, he gripped onto the sheets. "(Y/N).. I want to say something.."
I fully turn to face him in bed but before he could tell me, my parents and his aunt came rushing into the room and saw me close to him.
My parents had angry expressions on their face, but it was slid mixed with sadness and disgust. "Yozo..I.."
"(Y/N), come here." I stood still and saw Yozo hide his face. Before I could question him, my father came and rushed me out.
That was the last time I saw Yozo Oba.
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"He's so dreamy."
"I don't know what he has, but every woman falls for his charm."
"You sure it isn't just his wealthy money?"
"I've heard that he spends his money on booze, clothes and women. Might as well try and figure if it's true."
I wonder who they are talking about...
This has always been one of my least favorite places of the city. When the moon is out, the place is filled with bright lanterns and shops, customers wander around and pay to be with prostitutes.
Any years have gone by and now I've returned. Unfortunately things changed for worse, my brothers have gone their seperate ways and come to my house once in a while to visit.
We moved out for do long that I had a hard time remembering where some places were located. What back then my parents warned me to not go anymore to Yozo's house.
His aunt got pregnant but didn't say who the father was. It surprised me since his aunt was already old, and his cousin, she gave birth and killed Yozo's aunt in rage. I wonder what happened for her to do that so horrible.
Yozo..I wonder if he's still around. Had he changed? He was always so naive and fun.
I made my way past the many shops and would get catcalled, I felt disgusted by those men who only want one thing out of a woman. I tried not to trip on my kimono when I felt two men stalking me, I quickly went to take shelter at a small restaurant around the corner.
I noticed some prostitutes and regular girls suddenly stop what they were doing and we're focused on someone. I took a whiff and smelled cigarettes and expensive cologne.
Every girl turned their heads and so did I out of curiosity.
A man was in the middle of the street, walking with a tired or bored expression on his face. He had black nicely styled hair, dark eyes, high cheekbones and was entirely dressed in black.
He almost seemed like death himself.
My heart skipped a beat when the man walked past by me. His eyes seemed familiar even though they barely held any sort of light. I noticed the man had entered a brothel by the way he also smelt and the slight tangled hair.
I've grown to keep an eye on the littlest of thing's. I sighed tired of walking around in circles and decided to take a seat and have some food.
I sat down on a table by myself and I took a large bite of my sushi when someone grabbed a piece from my plate.
"Hey!" I stopped and stared side eyes at the mysterious tall man. I felt my cheeks warm up and surely my face was as red as the salmon on my plate.
"I noticed you're on your own. Any guy can come and snatch you to have some fun." I looked behind me to make sure be was talking to me, surely he was.
The man smirked a bit and ordered a bottle of sake, nothing more. He poured himself and some to me while he began to smoke a cigarette. "I won't rape you if that's why you're concerned."
I quickly grabbed the glass full of sake and took a drink. I've never been one to drink alcohol but it feels nice to do so once in a while. I noticed he kept staring at me when I drank another one.
"Do I have something on my face?"
"N-No. You're just.. beautiful to look at is all." He really is a charmer. I tried my best to hide my blushing face but he knew his flirting was working on me.
"Thank you, but I try not to think much of it. Don't think I didn't see you walking out of that brothel down the street. Don't you get concerned? I mean those girls sleep with anyone and might have some disease."
The man hummed and poured more sake for himself. "I just try to live the moment, we can die any time soon and no one would care."
"Maybe dying wouldn't be so bad, huh? A double suicide sounds quite romantic, don't you think?" He asked placing his drink down and looking back at me.
I stayed silent and rewinded what he just said in my head. A double suicide? Is that from a poem?
"Are you an author?" I asked assuming it was a poem like I thought.
He smirked and nodded his head. "I am. I enjoy writing a lot in my spare time."
"Do you have really have time to do that? I overheard dome girls talkng about you."
"They're just rumors, people like to share false information when they have nothing else to do."
I smirked at his answer, he must be right. If he says that then those things what I heard are lies. "What's your name then?"
"...You can call me Dazai..." Dazai. That's his name then. I smiled when he grabbed my hand and kissed it. He stood up and took a seat right next to me and started to touch my neck and slowly got lower.
"You're a lonely beautiful girl, if you stay here you won't like the end results. Why don't we go to my place?"
I agreed and how I wished I would've first known who he was and the many lies this man kept to me. But at that moment I didn't care, those dark eyes enchanted me and nothing else ran through my mind. This was only the beginning of the many heartbreaks I would endure.