Work Text:
I love you all
You stared at your phone, the brightness of it hurting your eyes but you didn’t complain about it. The sun had already set and the moon rose from its slumber when you received the notification from Twitter as well as Youtube. Patiently waiting, quietly staring, you bite your nails as you wait for the countdown of the reminder. You aren’t most likely the only one waiting, and the thought gave you some sort of comfort. Tonight was the only time when you didn’t care about anything else aside from the content of your phone. Forget the fact that you have to wake up early because of school or job or whatever you have going on. What matters now, for you, is what’s going to happen in the next few minutes.
It has been years since you grew into the person you are today. Having to survive the cruel world, you had to leave some things behind which includes the things that made you happy. Being an adult is hard enough but it’s a process which every person has to go through.
You haven’t been keeping yourself updated about your comfort Youtuber. You didn’t want to feel how you felt back then, it’ll only hurt more when the moment’s over. You have no idea how many years since you logged in on your Twitter or Youtube for the sake of your own interest but that one notification you received was all it took for you to abandon your work and sit down on your bed.
“I love you all” , is the title of Markiplier’s upcoming livestream video.
“I hope everyone can come see me one last time” , was his latest tweet.
Your eyes widened as your heartbeat picked the speed up.
The video wasn’t out yet but he had set a timer reminder, which is something he had never done in the past. He’s the type to do things without any thought, more of a doer than thinker if you will. You scrolled down through the replies of the tweet and everyone was reacting the same way as you. There were a lot of question marks and worried remarks from the older fans -you’re guessing- while the younger, most recent ones were excited.
For a couple of years, you have been an avid fan of Markiplier. You were always updated when it comes to him and you would always buy his merch as much as possible. You were there at the release of his big lore, Who Killed Markiplier, up to the Heist With Markiplier, and not to mention his first leading act in The Edge of Sleep. You, along with others, have been with him in every step through the screen. When he’s sick and ends up in a hospital, when he’s angry and raged over a game, even when he’s sad and the tears start to come down.
He was your entire childhood, the source of your happiness...until you had to give it up in order to be an adult.
You didn’t bother staying updated after your decision. You felt that it was best to just leave it all behind without looking back. It was time to grow up, you thought. If you look back then what’s the point in leaving in the first place? It’s just going to make it difficult for you so ever since then, you steered away from anything that could remind you of him. You gave all of your merch to your younger relatives who also are fans of Markiplier. In order to not feel sad or regret, you told yourself that you outgrew most of it and you’re being a supportive family member by doing what you did.
Now, sadness and regret are the only thing present in your mind.
You scanned the countdown and you were suddenly feeling nostalgic. You couldn’t help but remember the crazy yet unforgetful “cult” you and millions of others were in, Unus Annus . That was quite the year, so many emotions happened at the death of the channel. It was a happy yet devastating day.
As the time starts counting down, you feel the panic rise in the back of your throat. It was familiar, you felt this way at the end of Unus Annus, and you have never thought you’d feel it again. What happened that made Mark tweeted something so concerning? Did he get into an accident? Did Amy? Maybe it’s a personal matter that he needed to address. All you and many others could do with the remaining time was wait and guess what Mark has prepared for his audience. Time was ticking, you already knew that it can’t stop, but you can always avoid it. You were already debating whether you should shut your phone and just sleep it off or not when another notification appeared at the upper corner of the screen of your device.
“5 more minutes until the video,” you read.
Well, there’s no way you’re going back to sleep now.
Without thinking too deep about it, you went to Youtube and clicked on Markiplier’s channel. He already passed his 30 million subscribers, you realized. A sense of proudness filled with your chest. Mark deserves that and more. You proceeded to scroll down his video. There were dozens of videos that you haven’t watched and there were some that sparked familiarity. It was as if you were reverted back to the past when you waited every single day for Mark to upload a video then jokingly rant on Twitter when he didn’t.
For the remaining 5 minutes and less, you just scrolled through. And then, your phone buzzed.
The video was up, it slid down on your screen and the thumbnail was “I love you all” in his handwriting. You bite down your lip, your emotions all over the place causing your stomach to do the annoying flips, and you press on it.
It transferred you to the livestream within seconds and there he was.
He looks so content yet tired at the same time.
Mark didn’t say a word for a few seconds. He’s probably waiting for the others to come rolling in then when everyone has finally arrived and the comments calmed down, he leaned in to the camera and smiled.
“Hello, everyone, my name is Markiplier! But you probably already knew that,” he started off with his usual phrase. Things are normal so far, you thought. “Before I say my big announcement, I wanna ask...how is everyone? Doing good? ...uh huh, yeah...okay, i'm doing great, just fine, im alright ...Well, that’s great to know! It’s, uh, great that you guys are doing swell, mhm. So- what’s up with the title, Mark ? Ah yes! Well, you see...there’s no other way to put it. This video -er, well, livestream is the last thing I will upload...in this channel,”
...what?
“I’m officially,” he leaned back and with a glance to the side, said the continued words, “retiring from Youtube.”
The comments started rolling in again, this time with a lot of exclamation points and crying. You spotted a few sentences that you would have typed in yourself but you stopped yourself from doing so when Mark began to speak again.
“I had fun.” He smiled. “You know, these past years of doing Youtube were literally the highlights of my entire life! I get to do the things that I love as a job -I mean, I literally get paid from being fucking obnoxious and scream at the screen 24/7- but yeah. And, and the reason why I get to do these things is thanks to you guys. Each and every single one of you has helped me get to where I am today. You have been with me through my highs and lows and you have supported me on my journey and I could not have asked a better audience than you so that’s why! I feel like...it’s only right for me to tell you this...like this. You know, by a livestream and not a, uhm, uh, usual video because that’s not special at all and you guys deserve only the best!”
He stopped talking and glanced to the side again. This time, however, he has his hand raised to cover his mouth as he looks away from the camera. You, along with everyone, recognize the behavior and it didn’t take long for you to hear Amy from behind the camera say, “Do you need a tissue, Mark?”
“No, no, I'm a big boy,” he shook his head while laughing. “I’m fine. Thank you, Amy. Amy is holding the camera right now, guys,”
And on cue, as always, Amy waved a hand for you to see.
“Anyway!” The camera focused back to Mark once more. “I had been thinking of retiring for the past few months, to tell you the truth. I told Amy about it, I told Bob, Wade, Ethan, and Tyler. Basically, I told all of the crews about my decision and they accepted my decision and have been very supportive of it. The only ones who I haven’t told were you guys so...here we are. I just felt like making a video about something as huge as this isn’t an appropriate way of ending things then Amy and Ethan came through and suggested we do a livestream instead! So...yeah,”
Things went quiet for a while. You were just as quiet. Mark probably needed to gather himself and gave the audience a chance to gather themselves as well and you appreciate the thought because God knows you need to.
“I, uhm, won’t take much of your time. I don’t want to make this long because it’s just gonna be hard for the both of us if I do make it long and- what? No, guys! Don’t cry, please, no,” A tear fell down onto the screen just as he said that. The comments are full of crying emojis and people stating that they’re crying right now, which you can relate to. You didn’t even notice that you were crying until Mark mentioned it. With a sniff, you wipe away the tears while Mark begs you all to not cry.
He was crying, as well.
“I’m sad, too, you know, but I’m mostly happy! And you know why? Because everything happened. This all happened! I’ll cry for everyone so come on, wipe those tears away and smile! This isn’t a sad ending but a happy one! You know what they say, all good things must come to and end so...this channel has to end. It’s...it’s been a ride. Sure there were ups and downs but we got through them no problem! I was given the opportunities to make something great for you guys for the past years and I am so honored -I’m still honored! You guys literally made it possible for me to live my life to the fullest and I will forever be thankful for that but yeah...I gotta go. I gotta step off the platform and give it to someone else instead. Of course, I know that no one can replace me -that’s pretty much obvious, I mean, come on- but I’ve had my turn. It’s time for someone to have the chance to make something for the world.
And...uhm, actually, Amy is waving at me behind the camera and I think she’s indicating that I should speed things up because we have some other arrangements after this so…
Guys, thank you. For literally everything. Thank you and I love you all, so much!
Remember to keep smiling until the end of this livestream, alright? Keep smiling!
Now, for the last time on this channel...thank you so much for coming. There won’t be a next time but, I’m glad that everyone is here right now for our final moments. Keep doing what you love and keep on working hard. I love you all. Don’t let anyone take away what you love, no matter what. As always, thank you...and goodbye.”