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The sky roars. Brief flashes of light illuminates the darkness. A torrent of bullets attack those who were unfortunate enough to be outside. The storm was similar to the torment Levi feels inside his heart. Angry, hateful, but also sorrowful. While this storm will pass, the one inside will continue to rage.
The droplets on your cheeks were a mixture of rain and tears. Blood oozes from the gash on your side, washed away by the water. There was nothing he could do to save you. All he can he do was hold you tight against his body. You were growing colder by the second and the breaths against his neck were growing shallower.
“Again…we’ll meet again…,” you whisper, barely audible but he catches it. “So please…wait for me…,”
“Don’t keep me waiting for long.” He murmurs.
When he pulls away he sees a small smile on your face. The light in your eyes begin to dim so he quickly covers your lips with his to seal the promise.
He’ll wait for you, just like he always does.
~~~
He was a god. You were a mortal. An endless cycle of love and despair.
The red string of fate connects the two of you. But it was more than just a simple thread. You and Levi were entangled in a web. A web of pain. The more you and Levi love, the more the string binds you two together. Neither of you can escape.
“Levi, look.”
The raven haired god turns to the side. Next to him was a beautiful woman with a sweet smile that makes his heart ache. No goddess can compare to your beauty. In your hands you hold a flower crown. All around you was a variety of flowers to choose from. It was a special flower field, one he created just for you.
The look in your eyes tell him everything. Under normal circumstances, he would never do this. You were an exception. Levi lowers his head, allowing you to put the crown on his head. Giggles were accompanied by the sound of your hands clapping.
“You look good! Let me make another crown so we can match!”
Levi watches you pluck the flowers from the ground and intertwine the stems together. Then you start to hum a gentle a tune, a tune that makes his heart ache even more. It was a permanent ache, Levi believes. It will never leave him.
The song you were humming was the same song you hum in every cycle. Levi lost count on what number this cycle was.
~~~
You don’t remember your memories of your past cycles. Every cycle you were a clean slate, and yet you knew how to read him every time. Levi, a god that was a mystery to other gods and goddesses, was easily solved by a mere mortal: You. You knew what to say or not to say in his presence. You knew what he likes or doesn’t like. You knew everything.
Except for the fact that you’ve met him before.
Unlike you, Levi remembers everything from the cycles. You were oblivious; he was in pain. But as much as the endless cycle hurts him, he never parts from you. He could never. No matter how long it would take, he would wait for you to return to him. Because being without you hurts more.
“It’s cold,” you shiver, snuggling into his chest more to feel his warmth.
“You should’ve dressed warmer.” Levi responds. Still, he tightens his arms around you so you were trapped in his embrace. He wish he could keep you here in his arms forever so you will always be with him.
“I’ve got you to keep me warm,” you sigh softly. The cold tip of your nose drags up and down the column of his throat.
Another pang shoots through his heart. How many times has he been in this situation before? The way you would seek him out for warmth and he would scold you. And in the end, you would fall asleep in his arms. Just like right now.
A peaceful expression paints your face. So serene and calm. His hand tucks a lock of hair behind your ear. If only he had the power to freeze time. Gazing down at you for a moment longer, he leans down to brush his lips against your forehead.
“I’ll keep you warm. Always.”
~~~
Sometimes Levi wonders if you really are just a simple human. After all, how could you get a god like him to bend to your wishes? What power did you possess? The impenetrable walls built as tall as the mountains were crumbled to dust in your presence. You always find your way into his heart.
The same heart that you break over and over again, only to be mended back together by the very hands that destroyed it. Only you were capable of hurting him this deep. Only you were capable of loving him so much.
A lyre was in your hands. With closed eyes you pluck the strings of the instrument, creating a beautiful melody. It floats through the air and the wind carries the tune far and wide. His chest was against your back and his arms were around your waist. His head was pressed into your neck, breathing in your scent while he listens to the melody.
The music comes to a stop. Looking over your shoulder you show him a smile. “What do you think?”
A kiss was your answer. Words weren’t his strong suit. You melt against him, returning his kiss. After pulling you away, you giggle. The sparkle in your eyes was brighter than the sun.
“I’m glad you enjoyed the song I created for you.”
Every cycle you would create a song for him. Each song was different. Levi didn’t even know how you were able to write so many love songs. And all of them were just for him.
“Will you play again?” Levi asks quietly.
“I’ll play all you want.”
The melody returns and so does the bittersweet ache in his heart.
~~~
Levi was strong, much stronger than you. It was a given since he was a god. He could easily break you, but he doesn’t. He would never. Levi’s nothing but gentle with you. Treating you like fine porcelain. Made to be cherished.
Under the starry night sky he kisses you over and over. Your hair was fanned out all over the ground, the green grass a contrast to your (h/c) color. One hand rests beside your head while the other cups your cheek. Your palms were warm against his face. You treat him just as gently as he treats you. Like he was someone fragile even though he was a mighty god.
He appreciates your touch. So delicate and warm, he can never get enough. Oh he craves you. You were addicting. The taste of your lips was so sweet it was almost sinful. He devours your lips as if you were the only one who can satisfy his hunger.
He breaks the kiss, looking down at you with a tender gaze. But there was something else lurking in his eyes. Something you noticed. When it comes to him, you always notice every little thing.
Your lips were pressed in a thin line, analyzing his facial features. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“But there’s something bothering you, I can tell.”
Levi can’t tell you. He can’t possibly tell you about how he’s living through the same situation over and over. How the pain in his heart was a constant.
So, Levi lies. He lies just like in every cycle.
“You’re dirty. We need to clean you up.”
You blink at him before laughing. “Well, we are on the ground, kissing.”
“That was a shit idea.”
Getting to his feet he helps you up, keeping you planted to his side.
“Guess it makes sense that the idea came from a god with his shit jokes,” you tease, bumping his shoulder against him.
You were right. He was the one who pushed you down on the grass, not giving single damn about the dirty ground. Time was his enemy. All he wanted was to love you before time takes you away again.
~~~
Levi wants to hate you. He really does. You were the source of his suffering, but he can’t hate you. He can never hate you. He knows you weren’t doing this on purpose. It was out of your control. All you want to do is love him.
Love bloomed in his heart, but with the beauty came the thorns.
“Ouch!”
Levi snaps out of his thoughts when he heard you hiss. Immediately he was by your side, examining your finger. A small bead of crimsoned rises to the surface of your skin. He sighs, wiping the blood away.
“Be careful.”
“Sorry Levi,” you smile apologetically. “But the rose was so beautiful, I forgot all about its thorns.”
He glances over to the red flower in your hand. He takes it from you, removing the thorns before placing it in your hair. You beam at him, twirling around.
If only he could remove the thorns from his heart.
~~~
“How long do you intend to continue this cycle?”
Levi ignores the voice. They continue to speak to him.
“Is it worth loving her?”
“Shut up. It’s not your business to know Zeke,” Levi snarls, shooting a glare at the god who was behind him. “Go find someone else to bother.”
“I find you the most amusing to talk with.” He smiles. The temptation was great to wipe the smile right off his face, but Levi’s self control was greater.
“I am not some damn toy to be used for your entertainment.” Venom drips form his words, but Zeke was unaffected by the poison.
“Why do you hide from her? Why don’t you tell her everything?”
He turns away from Zeke, staring at his reflection in the water. It was just him. “What difference does it make?”
“She can have the truth instead of you lying to her.”
Levi scoffs. “And who made you the god of truth?”
Zeke was a god of trickery. Manipulation was his strength. Lying was as easy as breathing to him.
The bearded god shrugs. “I’m just saying. Do you really want to be in pain forever? Is it not tiring?”
“I don’t expect you to understand.” What did a god like him know about love when all he feeds on is destruction?
“You’re right, I don’t.” Zeke nods. He bends down to pick up a smooth stone, admiring the item in his hand. “But it all has to come to an end, doesn’t it?”
His reflection ripples as the stone hits the water, slowly sinking to the bottom.
~~~
Your fingers comb through his hair while you read a book. Levi rests between your legs, head placed on top of your stomach. Quiet days like these were his favorites. There’s no need to be in a hurry. No urgent matters to take care of.
For once Levi relaxes. For once there were no negative thoughts inside his head. For once he can forget the ache in his heart, even if it’s temporary.
Levi grunts when you stop stroking his hair. It gains your attention and right away you resume showing your affection.
“Sorry, I got caught up in the story.”
“What is it about?” He knows the answer, but asks anyway.
“It’s a beautiful but also sad tale of these two lovers. They love each other very much, but they can never be together.”
Levi’s convinced that this was all just one cruel joke by fate. Just another way to torment him. He doesn’t know why you like these stories, but he supposes that being oblivious to your situation helps. Sometimes you would even cry from the stories and he would be there to wipe away your tears. He was always there to wipe them away.
“Levi?”
“What is it?”
“We’ll always be together, right?”
You ask every this every cycle. The innocence in your tone kills him even more. You don’t know. And you never will.
“Don’t you think you’ll get tired of me?”
“No.” You shake your head before showing a soft smile. “I can never get tired of you. I don’t want to be with anyone else but you.”
He pushes himself up so he could rest his forehead against yours. Levi looks deep into your beautiful eyes.
“Then looks like you’re stuck with me.”
You giggle, rubbing your nose against his. “Seems like a wonderful fate to me!”
Ignorance really was bliss.
~~~
“What the hell did you do?”
The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and you were on the ground in the middle of the flower field he created just for you, bleeding out.
In less than a second he was by your side, cradling your body in his arms. His gaze drift towards the deep cut on your wrist and his eyes widen. A bloody dagger rests next to you.
No, this was not supposed to happen. You weren’t supposed to die like this. You were supposed to die by some creature or by a god or by eating a forbidden fruit. You weren’t supposed to take matters into your own hands.
“Why?” he rasps out.
You look at him with hazy eyes. Barely hanging on by a thread. The thread that binds you to him.
“You don’t have to suffer anymore…,” you say quietly. “You’re free…,”
Levi stiffens. You knew. Somehow you knew. You weren’t supposed to know.
He takes in shaky breaths. “I need you.” His own voice sounded foreign to his own ears. Desperation was as clear as the blue sky.
Tears cascade down your skin which he wipes away using his thumb. “I need you too,” you confess.
He waits. Levi waits for you to say those words so the cycle can be repeated once more. It was the only thing he can do. Being a god…what did it matter? He can’t alter what was set in stone. All he can do was submit to the events that were already foretold.
Seconds tick by and you say nothing. The life in your eye begins to fade away. Panic makes his heart pound. As soon as he sees your eyes fluttering closed he jostles you awake.
“Oi, say those words.” Maybe you forgot, so he reminds you. The voice in the back of his head says otherwise. In all your past cycles, you always said those words.
You continue to say nothing, head rolling to the side. He clutches you tightly to his body. His form trembles. You were slipping away from him.
“(Y/N), say something.” His voice was strained, thick with emotions. “Please...say something.” He was begging. A god, begging? Unheard of. Who was he pleading too? He doesn’t know. People prayed to the gods for help. Who the hell can a god turn to for help?
No one. They were alone.
In a final act of desperation, he kisses you. He kisses you like it’s the last time he will ever kiss you. But there was no promise to seal. You were already dead.
Ironic, wasn’t it? A god like himself was powerless. But you, just a simple human, had more more power than him. You defied fate. The thread snapped. You severed the bond that connected the both of you. You broke the cycle.
But at what cost?
He places his head against your chest. No heartbeat. He will never hear it again. Just like he will never see your smiles or hear your laughter. He will never see you skip happily around the flower field. You’ll never play the lyre again. The hole in his heart that was filled time and time again would now be a gaping hole forever. Empty.
You will never come back.
Cursed. He was cursed. You cursed him. How could you? How could you leave him all alone?
Levi wants to shout. He wants to scream out in anguish. However, he just stays in the flower field which doesn’t feel welcoming anymore, holding onto your cold body. You did this for him, but he didn’t want this. Levi wanted you. Even if it meant waiting years just to see you again. Even if it meant putting his heart through torture. Because at the end of the day, you get to love him. And he gets to love you in return.
You broke the cycle, but gave birth to a new one. A cycle of only pain and suffering. Love was lost forever.
For the first time, a god weeps.