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When was his first life again? He couldn't quite remember. After all these years he lived, it made his daily life nothing more than a blur.
He remembered the day he first met her though, she was wearing a light blue hanbok that made her seem ethereal. It was an understatement to say that Seungmin fell in love. He was enamored by her.
As she smiled as bright as the sun at the merchant who sold fruits, he wanted her to smile at him just like that.
But maybe it was fate that she was found dead the next morning, apparently sentenced for treason. At that moment, maybe Seungmin didn't felt much.
Then he died.
He remembered the moment vividly, etched into his brain as if to mock him. He was just by the lake, enjoying the night scenery after a full meal. Although a commoner, he was thankful that his family was good in terms of wealth.
Seungmin was just about to head back home when he felt someone push him from the back.
With a splash, he fell into the cold lake in the middle of winter. Cold seeping into his limbs, but surprisingly numb to him.
It was fine, he thought. He could just swim upwards. He knew how to swim. He kept telling himself that.
As he did so, he felt that person intentionally push him under the water. He did everything he could to get out of their grasp, but they did not budge at all.
Seungmin could feel his consciousness slip, surrounding him in darkness. He didn't know how long he was out, he lost count. It felt so long, yet so short to him.
When he came to, he was at the edge of the lake again. He would've been relieved if he didn't see the floating corpse in the lake.
Kim Seungmin's dead. That was his body he was looking at.
Fear and nausea overwhelmed him as he ran back to his home. Apon arriving, he saw his father standing at the yard. He ran towards him, desperately grabbing his father's shoulders.
"Father! Father!" He shook him gently.
But as if he was invisible, his father never glanced at him. Seungmin stepped back, shaking his head in denial.
"Kim Seungmin, aged 17, died by drowning in a lake. Come with me."
And that's how he met the grim reaper.
°°°
By now, Seungmin could say that dying was a tedious process. He had to wait in line with thousands of people, deal with their crap on how they don't want to die, and at the same time not losing his precious sanity.
When he did get to the front, the king of the underworld decided that he had died too young and gave him a chance at reincarnation. Even though he denied that chance and wanted to just go to heaven.
And so he reincarnated as another Kim Seungmin in another era.
°°°
Seungmin shouldn't have kept his memories after loads of reincarnation, but time eventually erases it anyway, so it wasn't a big deal.
It did help him to go through life easier, like remembering where one of the noble families buried their treasure. Or maybe heirlooms that he sold for money.
Perhaps it did come into handy when he met her again, the girl who commited treason. This time wearing a pretty dress that matched the ballroom she was in.
He watched as she glided through the room, flashing her dazzling smile at everyone in the room. Well, except Seungmin.
Was he invisible to her eyes? Or did she hated him that much to ignore him? To be fair, Seungmin himself thought he wasn't that attractive either.
"Did anyone catch your eye, sir? I heard that house Elador had a beauty."
"Isn't she the one in the yellow and white dress? My, she's beautiful I must say."
So she was from House Elador, Seungmin noted, as he eyed her figure. She intrigued him, with her dazzling smile and bright eyes. As if there was a string tugging him towards her.
°°°
"So this time your carriage turned?" The grim reaper shook his head. "Man you got shit luck, always die so young."
Seungmin rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue.
"Shut up, grim. I was 25 this time."
"But still," The grim reaper hummed, "You didn't even have a betrothed. You always die single."
"Did you have to point that out?" Seungmin groaned.
The grim reaper laughed, pulling Seungmin with him as they descended again to the underworld.
°°°
"I think I got it." The king of the underworld snapped his fingers. "You got to get yourself a partner. You can't always die alone, Seungmin!"
"Oh wow why didn't I think of that." Seungmin sarcastically muttered. "As if I didn't last time."
"Last time I checked, the closest you got was just a date. A date that you left them hanging because you died, so no."
Seungmin groaned, he was done with this bullshit about partners or whatnot.
"Look, can't you just send me to heaven? I'm tired of living."
"No, I can't. You don't have enough good deeds and died too young."
"Then send me to he-"
"I can't send you to hell because your soul isn't corrupted nor bad. Plus your age. We talked about this before."
The king sighed, looking bored as he glanced at Seungmin. His soul was just a shell, hollow inside. Perhaps from the amount of times he had to die. Sometimes the king pities the state he was in.
°°°
He met her again, the girl who commited treason, the lady of house Elanor. This time they met at school, when war was brewing.
Seungmin enjoyed P.E classes, because he could see her figure inside her classroom, studying hard to go to college someday.
Seungmin didn't really study his ass off, to say the least, because at this point of his life (or lives) he had learnt everything he possibly could. Ranging from business to swordsmanship, even to embroidery.
He thought that by the time he reincarnated again, he would forget every little detail. He was, in fact, wrong.
But here he was, inside a school, learning economics that bore him to death (somewhat literally).
"Were you looking at Hyesoo, Seungmin?" His friend yelled across the field.
Almost every one of the students that were in her class looked at her, making him shrivel up in embarrassment and cringe. He glared at his friend and ran off from the attention on him.
Great, now everyone teases him because of Hyesoo. Idiot.
°°°
How did he get into a situation where he was pushed to the middle of the field, with his rumoured crush and forced to confess? Even Seungmin didn't know.
"Alright. I'll go on a date with you." She nodded with a bright smile.
Sure, that gave him a big grin, made his heart thump, and made his steps lighter. But no, he doesn't like her, of course not. He didn't really feel much after all these centuries of living, did he?
But Seungmin can't deny that his heart crushed to pieces when he realised that he had died after he asked her out. Seeing his dead body, limp against the wall smeared with blood was nothing new, yet it reminded him again and again that he was dead.
For the first time in centuries of dying, he freaked out.
The grim reaper, or Grim (nickname courtesy of Seungmin) was shocked when he saw the boy tear ridden. Just like how grim first met Seungmin.
"Are you--" he sighed-- "do you need a minute?
Seungmin nodded meekly.
"Just a minute though, I don't have all day." Grim sat next to him.
A minute had passed, and Grim didn't say anything. Seungmin thanked him silently for that, because he didn't want to leave yet.
"You're gonna have to wait for a while this time, the underworld is packed to the brim." He twirled his scythe.
"Isn't it always packed?"
"No, this time is different. War has killed thousands of people in seconds."
Seungmin didn't say much after, his mind blank. He followed Grim like a lost puppy, which then irritated Grim so much he yelled at him to walk properly in front. And Seungmin did, like a puppy that was kicked.
°°°
"This is the last time I'm living again." Seungmin stood his ground. "I'm sick and tired of this crap."
"Fine." The king of the underworld looked as bored as ever. "One last chance, maybe. You do you."
Seungmin huffed and stomped away. The king of the underworld might have something up his sleeve.
°°°
Seungmin wasn't even surprised to see her again. As if it was fate, destiny, or whatever, he would say.
He thought long and hard about what he should say to her. This was their "first" meeting after all. Should I say hi? I know her from school. What if she doesn't know me? Fuck it.
"Hey. [] from class 2-2, right?" He greeted her with a smile.
[] smiled back, with mild confusion on her face.
"Do I know you?"
Those words somehow hurt him more than it should.
"I'm Kim Seungmin. From 2-1. You're in the broadcasting club right?"
"Yeah, I am." She gave a short answer.
"Great. These are news articles Mr. Lee told me to hand it to you. He said these should be posted up or whatever."
She took a quick glance at them.
"You wrote these." The question came off as a statement.
"Not all of them, some of my classmates helped." He scratched behind of his ear. A habit he could never get rid off.
[] had an unreadable expression on her face. That made Seungmin uncomfortable for no reason. He stupidly smiled back at her.
With a curt nod of her head, she walked away from him.
And Kim Seungmin had the audacity to still blush at the interaction.
°°°
[] was different from her past selves, Seungmin noted. Of course, people change even in a short span of time, but she was so contrastingly different.
Her smile was rare and her emotions were as blank as a board. It reminded him of the souls in the underworld. The thought was discarded, it was unrealistic, right?
Though her voice, her oh-so-sweet voice that reminds him so much of the past. The past they could've been together.
"[], you did great today!"
"Did what great?" her deadpan expression clear on her face.
"The radio show. You did great." He repeated.
"Oh," she glanced at him, "that was why you stayed at school?"
"No, no." He shook his head. "Our class had self study as last period, and I kinda got too into it."
That was a lie, their class ended early.
"You are a fan of mine." Again, the tone in her voice came off as a statement.
"Yes, I'm your fan." He repeated.
Aren't you a stalker now
You've been watching her through all these decades
she
"Do you wanna walk home with me?" She had a small smile on her face. finally
"We are neighborhoods apart though?"
"I'm asking you to hang out."
finally
finally
finally
snap out of it.
"sure."
°°°
how did it come to this? [] why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why?
i know the reason
she knew
she knew but how
"What in the everloving fuck?" The Grim reaper showed up.
wait who died? me?
"Kim Seungmin? You did this?"
"huh."
As if he just woken up with a jolt. Seungmin took in his surroundings. Blood. Why is blood everywhere?
A knife in his hand. But why is blood seeping through his clothes?
"Kim Seungmin. Died by murder. I summon you to trial."
Now that was new. Grim can say that? Who is []?
Is she important?
°°°
"He lived far too long. He was bound to snap at one point."
"You knew, yet you let him be?"
"No, it was his choice. He should have lived a good and long life with this one."
Then why?
"You killed her Seungmin . Did ya forget?"
I didn't kill her she was executed..
.. for treason
"The crime your father commited. You killed her because your father told you to."
No no someone else killed me
i died because someone pushed me into a lake
"You jumped into the lake yourself."
"Snap out of it would ya?"
.
.
.
This is my punishment.