Work Text:
June 21st
Mina has joined Rainbow and is integrating into the team very quickly. I’m beyond glad Harry took up my suggestion for her application, I have no doubts she will fit right in as a crucial member to our operations. She brings a lot of skills that I find very impressive, especially since she was able to learn all on her own.
In the many years since I first met Mina, I know her best for saving my life (and probably the rest of my hand too.) All my years of experience and yet losing my fingers is something that will set me back for the rest of my life, but it won’t stop me especially since I’ve grown. Still, I look at my left hand and I will always remember what failure made me lose my fingers. But it also makes me remember what perspective I gained in life, and getting to meet Mina.
That time must’ve been one of the few times I was completely helpless on an adventure and I couldn’t finish what I started alone. Sure, I’ve broken a few bones and gotten lost on my adventures, and had been saved by someone! But, I think I feel a bit different about how Mina rescued me. How many rescuers get to stay by your side for a day and talk you to sleep about their culture? It felt a bit like being pampered as a child again… but there was something different to the wealthy kind I had. It was like all the feel of the outdoors but without the guilty feeling of being a rich child.
Something about what she said of the “creator star” meaning “love, wisdom, bravery” that I like to think about. She came alone to save me and was able to teach me about her culture as well. The symbol doesn’t just suit her, I can see she has lived her life around those principles. I like to think it’s as if it brought us together to know each other somehow, even in my own fatal mistake.
And her jacket, it was so warm! Through that night, despite everything that led up to it, I slept so safely and comfortably. I think it was better than many of the blankets I’ve slept under. It didn’t smell like a clean blanket, but rather like forest dirt and winter sky, just how I most love it. Yet, it still smelled homelike and soothing at the same time. Maybe it was a side-effect of the treatments she had to do, like a delusion. Even then, her whole helicopter smelled of natural dirt and air too, despite being cleaned so well. I thought it would smell more of gasoline and that “hospital smell” but it was calming to keep smelling what I was used to in an urgent emergency. When I slept that night, I felt a sense of complete tranquility I only typically feel by myself in the wilderness. It was a little strange with someone else, yet I was so snug there somehow. I fell asleep thinking of the smile she flashed at me and I can’t stop thinking about it for some reason...
I know one thing for sure, I’m keeping this journal entry very far from everyone else!
All these adventures, seeing cultures and people and the world yet her jacket reminds me so much of what I love doing and the cultures I love to explore. Mina herself reminds me a lot of what I adore doing and the people I love meeting. Yet, it is something more with her. I so frequently forego the beauty of nature for my own solitude out there, but I would consider letting Mina join me on an adventure at some point to see that beauty together. When I was with her, it didn’t feel so impersonal to me.
Who knows, I’d love to take another ride in her helicopter too. Seeing the ground from above would be a new perspective on its own, especially if she gets to show me her bird’s eye view of the world.
Over these years, I think that day made me like her and seeing her again made me fluster with that same feeling once more. I haven’t felt this way too much before, and it pales in comparison to what this feeling is. I feel so confident normally yet when I’m with her I choke up a bit when I speak, and I have to look away just to hold a conversation. When she compliments me I think I blush a bit. It’s so hard to tell, but it feels like I’m naturally nervous by her presence? I think it might be more obvious than I think, but am I really falling for her? I can’t tell if I’m feeling love or just an admiration for someone so much like me (and in many ways better). But, I fear I might've just been another person to rescue for Mina, and I can’t tell if she feels the same way or not. Not until I ask her at least. And I don’t want to settle down ever, I want to keep exploring the world in such interesting and difficult climates but I never meet people who are ready for the challenge except her.
I suspect I’ll see more of Mina now than ever before, and I cannot wait to spend more time with her on my team. It seems daunting to believe that I’ve only seen such a small part of who she is still, and that I’m finally going to know her even more and more and see further who she is. I know we’ll be great friends, just like Tina and I already, but I wonder if maybe we’ll be more than that. Perhaps she’ll be my next challenging adventure in life.
Secretly, I hope so.