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November 26, 2020 – Death Anniversary
I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything for you when you needed me the most. I couldn’t be there. Your greatest wish… It should never have been for my happiness. Why did you waste it on that? You were always so self-sacrificing...
Between the two of us, you should have been the top priority. You were always so warm. I was so indifferent, so bitter, so cold. You were the one who warmed me, who made me smile. My life was never supposed to go on longer than yours. I shouldn’t still be here while you’re long gone!
You never asked for comfort or anything in your last moments. You suffered with the least they could give you, but you still smiled. You wasted your final wishes to save me. You gave me my best days, my best memories…
You smiled at me every moment we were together, but when I wanted to help you, when I begged for them to save you, you said all you needed was my smile. You barely let them try. Did you want me to suffer? Did you hate me that much? You of all people should have known how much I loved you – how much I still love you!
I’m getting better, so much better. I can walk around now. I can play with the other kids. I can eat good food. Why is it, though, that I can’t smile?
...Of course, the answer’s obvious, even if you’re as dense as you are. You took my smile with you. It’s so much colder without you around.
But I guess it’s okay. I’ll trade my smile for life. I’ll live on, and I’ll do good in the world, and then when I die, we’ll meet again, yeah?