Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It just looks like ordinary day to me, until I look at my phone and realize today is the big day for all of us, 3^rd year high school student,

today is the day when our result of university entrance test being announced,

I jump out of my bed and head to shower, then ready for dress up, mom already cook breakfast and I immediately head to the school to check my status, wearing my school uniform as these days it might be the last time, I wear it

My name is Hans Nerius, I’m just your ordinary high school student who aspiring to work at software industry in future, having put both my tablet and Laptop on my bag I’m walk outside, the sky is so blue and clear, giving me hope with the positive result

After getting into bus I saw someone similar smile at me, one of my friend who also after the same university as me but chasing the medical school department, Her name is Haru estia, she’s my classmate since first grade at high school, and she’s one of the kindest girl on class, she call me and ask me to sit next to her, nervously I sat and try awkwardly to start random conversation, as times goes by we arrive at destination.
I never really talk much with her, it’s not that she’s hard to approach but I simply do not know how to approach her, her sweet cheerful personality is one of her best quality, it’s a mystery that according to boys in my class that she has no boyfriend, well if I have to guess, probably she is laser focus to achieve her dream and politely reject anyone, well can’t imagine her do that but can’t imagine the other way either,

In any case it is only 2 of us now and I decided to ask something

“Haru, why did you want to be a doctor?”

“She stops her step and smile while replying”

“Because I wanted to help, people obviously! Hehe! Is that a bit childish?”

“No not at all, honestly, I’m impressed about your motivation, …… also how you can say that with straightforward face, hehehe”

“Heeey stop teasing me", as her face glow red while freaking out.

“Hahaha okay okay I’ll stop, “

I think at that moment I fell for her, no it’s goes as far as first grade during high school back when we both has class duty to clean up, still I did not realize this at all, as I partially ignore due the fact we both already graduating from high school, if only this happen a year before the outcome might totally be different.

Upon checking our name on result list, we found that we both has been accepted to our dream choice, not only that, but Haru managed to take the top score,

She rushed out to less crowded place and pull her phone; I slowly approach her as she makes a call and crying happily,

“Mom, Mom, I did it, I even got the top mark”,

as she burst into tear of happiness while on phone call, I text my family about my result, it is just shame that won’t be at the same school as her anymore, I remind myself that we still on same town trying to cheer myself up, then I question myself why I did that

I ask her whether if she want to go home and pick some drink on the way home, as she agreed, something feels off on the air, I felt something strange, like how something softly pull me in for a moment, then Haru call me after she getting the drink done, and only realizing that we both spacing out and miss the bus that stop just in front of us, we then decided to take the train, as the next bus is quite a while and even I know that haru is so eager to see her mom, after taking off from the station I decided to stop at the same station as her, fortunately she didn’t ask as she’s too occupied with the thought to inform her mom ASAP, as we part a way she run off on her own showing that she can’t wait much longer to tell her mom, it’s make me feel bad that I kind delay the process by offering to bought her a drink, but I put that thought on back of my head, as I walk to the direction of my home.

And then that feeling again, this time it’s much stronger, something inside me tells me that something terrible is going to happen.

Tossing my drink into nearest trash bin, I immediately rush running trying to catch her, as I run I felt air start moving upstream and I saw a big ring of light sucking everything on sight, ignoring everything I try as fast as I can to catch up with her, as I running got hit by some debris get couple of scratches, ignoring the pain, I rush as fast as I can, somehow I know where to take turn and after few turn I found her.

Yes her, the very same cheerful girl, just few minutes ago, crying, as her hand soaked with blood from the debris near where she collapses, even without coming close I can tell that it was her mother that was buried and pass away, I stop for a few second and burst of thought came into my head.

“It was my fault”

“If only I didn’t take that bus this morning”

“If only I didn’t talk to her this morning”

“If only I didn’t offer her a drink”

“If only I didn’t selfishly hope that I can get closer to her”

“If only I”

Before losing at thought the light glow brighter and I saw her get swallowed by the light, as the wind gone crazy, I try as my best to reach her only to get knocked unconscious by following debris. As blood spilled from my head injury, I saw her broken face get swallowed by that light, then everything gone dark as I lose my conscious.

….

Chapter Text

I was alone, I stand on strange wasteland unknown to me, everything feels hazy, as I walk to dim red sunlight, I found tons of human skull lying around the ground

The cloud is brown, the sky is not blue, it feels like this is not the planet I used to live, I can’t really remember the air, but it surely feels unpleasant

It feels hazy but I can sense I held some hilt of some kind a weapon, not sure whether it is axe, dagger, or sword, but they all felt natural to me despite no prior experience holding weapon, when I look whatever, it is, it’s looks hazy and unclear I can’t tell what it is.

As I walk, I found countless cross happed thing on the ground, the shape and size were all different but one thing same for all of them is they all look like a sword stabbed into ground and when I take a closer look, they always have some leftover human skull on it.

Was this is a warzone before? I broaden my view only to realize the cloudy vision of cold wasteland is all I can found, faintly I smell something like iron. no, it’s like dried blood smell, faint but clear somehow to me,

Someone calls me,

I realize someone call me with familiar voice, I tried to look around but no one came out, as I walk the voice grow stronger and I realize they were behind me
a familiar smile as I turn myself back, as they call me with the kind but creepy voice, and I suddenly realize, all my hand were soaked by blood, as well as I’m stabbing that person with some kind of blade.

I can’t recognize their face as everything is hazy but I scream as I realize what just happen, as I scream I realize everything is gone and I woke up on hospital bed.

“It’s a bad nightmare, a really nasty one”

As I realize, the insane pain of my injury starts to kick in and set me back to my bed, as I slowly peek to window, I saw a red light far away, probably some kind of fire, with tons of smoke, as look around, I realize opening on the sky, similar with the light that devour my friend that day. Which remind me that everything that happened back then were real, and I lying on bed due to my injury

But who carry me here? It’s night so I might know next morning, as I calm myself down. as I took a deep breath I try to grab my phone that somehow survive that ordeal, then I grab my bag as I confirm that none of my stuff were broke somehow and I pull out my tablet, as I open the internet that still online despite using older generation network that still online, I found out thanks to some site that still online that a global catastrophe has severely damage human civilization, many people has lost their home, family and even their life,

The next morning I realize something off, as I pull my phone again and try to reach all my family member, I jump out of hospital bed, ignoring my injury and rush out to get someone to explain what’s going on, as I found out a middle age familiar man, I immediately try talk to him

“Sensei, Banry Sensei!!”
as my old homeroom teacher look at me, he rush and hug me as he see his own child and crying,

“Hans, it’s okay everything gonna be okay”

As we back to my room we then talk about what happened, and how he found me lying and bleeding on the side of the road, a real blessing indeed

“Sensei, is my family try to reach me?”

“Sorry but I don’t know, all I found is you lying on the road as I carry you to nearby patrol team camp, fortunately we manage to get you treated up.”

“How about Haru sensei, I’m very sure she’s around me?”

“Haru? Is she?”

“Yes, sensei she should be around, she’s okay right? Right?”

At that moment I realize, as Sensei eye struggling hold back his tear, of course he is, one of his best students were just died.

“I’m sorry but Hans, you were the only one I found there, the rest of surrounding were completely devastated, and I can’t find anything”

At that moment I remember all the flashback of her for last 3 years, as well as the selfish thought I have about her at her last day, suddenly I felt faint smell of blood and remember my dream and briefly saw my hand soaked with blood.

“It was me”

“It was me that kill her”

“I’m the one that hold her back “

“If only I didn’t try talk to her that day, if only she’s come home early, she could be evacuating with her…mother they both would have survived”

Chapter Text

As I walk bad to my bed I forgot everything I was thinking about my family, until I reach my bed and check my phone and see call history,

it was my sister name, on call log since I try to reach her last night, along with mom and dad number on previous entry.

I made my mind up, and will at least see this until the end, I’ll see myself that both Haru and her mother got proper funeral myself, it is the only thing I can do for them I completely understand it would never bring them back or atone my selfish desire.

At that time, I realize that I actually fall for her, and let my selfishness become her demise, it was a horrible take but I decided to live with it as my atonement.

After 3 days, I end up discharged from hospital, I try to use my card to pay the hospital bill, only to realize that the bank network has gone offline for a while, and they only need my name and my citizen ID number and they will charge to the government later, I honestly relief as I don’t have too much money on me, other than my tuition money and saving money.

Setting aside money problem, I decided to go home, upon reaching home I saw many soldiers around stationed, I ask what happen and they said the area is off limit and I should go somewhere else, I explain that my home is here and they said I should ask refugee camp or reach my relative.

Insisting to find out about my family, I prepare for the worst, I sneak up and manage to sneak in into sealed area, it’s not really sealed as the guard were guarding the place poorly. After walk few minutes I manage to reach my home, but something was off.

The window glass is broken, the garage door is beat up,

My sense of danger picking up, but I decided to proceed, as I walk to garage, I found an Axe that dad used to use when cutting some wood for his personal project, as I pick axe I found a blood trail when I open the front door, only to realize a lying body being eaten by some strange creature.

It was an Animal, but seems mutated and attacking people, the shape is like a dog, as I realize the cloth of the body lying it was

“Dad”

It was my dad who already dead being eaten by strange looking dog like creature, as I step back the creature realize where I am and begin attacking me, I madly swing the axe and manage to chop off the head of the dog, after few hit, just to be safe I hit the dying creature several time with my axe until it stop moving at all

I approach my dad body and check out the surrounding area, saw him holding another axe, it seems my dad died fighting this strange creature,

I try my best hold by my tear as I’m afraid it will attract more creature if I am making tons of noise and try to close my dad eye.

I’m sorry dad, as I say to myself, I never really close to my dad since I on junior high, as he some kind of annoying person, but he did at very least be there when it counts so I still respect him for that,

And then I realize my dad is holding strange object, upon realizing it was severed human hand with familiar bracelet and ring on it.

It was only a hand, but I instantly realize it was my mom hand, which has been severed for her body, I can’t found her body anywhere I tried so I assume that those dog must get her and my dad desperately fight back,

I tried my best hold back my scream, while bursting into tear in silence,

“Mom I’m sorry, Mom Mom”

An flashback of mom since I was a kid instantly pass into my brain, tearing my heart apart, I’m very close to mom as she’s always supporting to me even when I was getting into trouble, and she willing to take risk on me, I really want to show her I manage to enter the collage and I want and graduate, at very least I want to make her proud of her son.

Now it is all impossible as both my parent were dead, it took me about few minutes to calm down, I decided to head to my room and quickly pick some my useful personal belonging, then I realize there is some strange noise on the next room

I cautiously head to my sister room, I was already preparing for the worst, and found my sister holding a knife, lying on floor with a died strange dog

She’s still alive but she needs medical attention fast

“Brother you’re back, I glad,”

as my sister softly said, I immediately move the dead dog body away and realize her wound is fatal, I open her closet and try to slow the bleeding while grabbing her outside.

Running with her on my hand and backpack on my bag it was really heavy but somehow, I can run and carry all those weights, as I begin running, few strange dog pick up my location and chase me, I raise my speed and manage to reach the guard camp, try shouting help, the guard immediately rush to cover my and shooting down the dog.

At the camp one of the guard slap me and told me what I done is really dangerous, but then he said he would do the same thing if he were me, still I ask him to help my sister, their field medic take a look at my sister condition and performing first aid, they agree to lend a vehicle to reach nearest hospital, when I ask what my punishment for breaking into sealed area, they said that fortunately they have no resource to spend to punish random civilian.

I reach the hospital and the doctor manage to stop her bleeding, but a grim news come in, as he speaks

We manage to stop the bleeding, but we cannot remove the strange infection that she has, we have countless patient suffer the same infection and none of them survive, until the research about this new infection came in there is nothing, we can do to help her, I don’t think she can survive until tomorrow.

A strike of thunder strokes my mind, it was a horrible truth that I wish I never heard, I know I am expecting the worst but facing it never that easy

I loss in thought, but soon realize that I must go get her ASAP, as I enter her room, she smiles at me lying on bed

“Celia, I’m sorry I..”

“Brother sorry I can’t hear you, could you come closer”

As I approach her bed, the sight I really wish I never have to see become reality, as I hold her fragile hand with both of my hand she spoke to me

“Congratulation brother, you made it into school you want”

“Celia.. thank you Celia I.. I.. I wish we can hold celebration once everything over”

“It’s okay brother, all I’m happy to see you safe and sound, hehe”

“Celia, yes Celia I’m right here, I’ll stay with your forever,”

“Brother hans, I already knew, I’ll soon Join mom and dad, I’m sorry I have to leave you all alone soon,”

A burst of tear come from my eyes as her soft voice cheer me up, as my little sister she’s always a kind supportive sister. I always wish for her happiness, but now all I realize that that will never happen

“Brother hans, I want to see your face clearly, “

As Celia hand touch my face she smile and a tear from my eye never stop. Her hand grow weaker by second as she reach my cheek, as she smile she hold my hand and calm me down

“Brother hans, I’ll be always be with you and love you, remember that okay, don’t forget that, also don’t forget about who you are, don’t forget about your dream, “

“Yes Celia I promise, I’ll never forget what’s important”

With that her final word, Celia pulse stopped, she’s pass away smiling leaving her broken scarred brother all alone to this cruel world.

I no longer able to hold my tear, it was at this moment that I lost all my family, while I bursting into tear a man from behind a man with suit try to speak to me

My name is James from NED company, I would like to ask permission and approval to extract a blood sample of your relative, this will help researching a way to save infected people in future,

I ask the details of how much and how the procedure and it’s quiet normal and straightforward, after doctor extract the blood and give them to that man, the man thanks me and ask me If I need compensation, I told him I still need time to set my mind right, he left me his business card and contact and tell me if I ever looking for a job, please reach me and he try to help me get one.

Days come by and after finishing up funeral for Celia, Dad and Mom, I decided to help on refugee camp. I ask nearby soldier about what is those strange dogs that attack people

According to soldier they called SoulJunk, and they come from that Portal Light above the sky, they said can infect other animals and turn them into their kind, but so far, no such case on human at all. They call the portal as Great Void, as when they try to fire a sonar wave, no feedback was given by the portal hence there is nothing on the other side

It’s time for lunch break
I don’t really know anyone at the camp, we just bunch of strangers with same fate, as I ate my lunch alone, one girl at my age approach me,

“Hello, my name is Diana, you must be Hans right?”

“Hello, I guess the fame of breaking into SoulJunk Area is picking up now huh?”

“Yep, I like your gut, I’m sorry about your loss”

“Ohh that’s okay, I’m all better now”

Diana kind remind me of Haru, they look nothing alike, but her kind personality makes me very comfortable, maybe it’s because I loss too much due to recent incident.  We end up getting close to each other and help each other out, one day Diana approach me and ask me to speak with her in private

“Hey hans, can I ask you something, but it will be very troublesome, so I wish it to be in private”

“Sure, no problem”

“Let’s go to balcony, no one should be there”

“As we climb the ladder, Diana face really look stressful, at the door she stops and ask me something”

“Hans I’ll do something troublesome and selfish, will you forgive me, and help me?”

“Sure, we can figure things later, as long as we not doing some crime, I don’t think we should worry”

“Okay… okay yes, I’ll make my mind up”

Upon opening the door, the view of nearby town can be seen, Diana close the door and start to approach me as she hold my hand,

“Come here, “

as I follow her without second thought her face look so determined.

As she call me, I look at her face a bit red, she immediately hug me and kiss me on mouth, catches off guard, and confused leave me no way to dodge, I end up on her embrace just like how most couple looks, and a camera sounds picked up.

As she back down, blushed, she says to me,

“Sorry hans, but I need that photo, to ensure my arrange marriage cancelled,”

I always know it was something weird, after all no random girl suddenly kiss you in middle of nowhere, still she really felt guilty about it

“Ok that was unexpected but why Diana? I need some explanation”

“Yeah I owe you want, especially now, sorry hans I already done research about you way before we first talk, My name is Diana Lexinton, my family own some inheritance that I wont surrender to certain people.”

“I already ask some of my acquittance to spread rumor we’re dating, and most people at our age already assume so. And that pic I just got is my forged evidence, I’m so sorry putting you on very awkward situation, and now you already in I’ll have no choice to drag you even futher,”

“Wait what? (is she realize that I’m no resisting back then) “

“Ok I’ll explain these issue properly later but the rough idea is I need you to be my boyfriend starting today, I already research you already loss your family and girlfriend so it’s perfect right, I know this is selfish but since you already in just give up and bear with it.”

“She is my friend and we’re not dating”

“Really? I was positive you love her, well that convenient, now you will have no guilt dating me right? Ah

yeah that kiss also, it might be forged evidence, but I’ll have you get used to it, in fact I hope you fall for me just now. It will be easier for us after all”

“HAH?”

It was shocking, confusing and make no sense how she can say that straightforward without flinching

“Hello hans are you okay?,”

“Yeah I’m okay but this is very strange and I have no idea how to response”

“You don’t need to response, just give up and become my boyfriend for real, I’ll ensure benefit of my family fortune and resource”

“Wait I didn’t really asking for tha”

“That’s why I choose you, and I’m make my mind up, I know this is sounds selfish, but you need to bear with it, after all the evidence already spreading on girls circle anyway, so even if u have crush on someone now, you should give up”

“Wait what so you force me into it, this is madness I’ll tell everyone you’re the one that”

“You expect people will believe you? In fact, it will be your social suicide,”

….

“Okay I’ll go along with your game for now,”

“for now, you’ll have fall for me for real, I’ll ensure that happen, I’m also doing my best, even so my parent will arrange our marriage sooner or later as they pick this rumor up”

“Wait what?”

“Congratulation, you already become my boyfriend just give up already gezz, here hold my hand”

“Ok this is really weird and make no sense,”

As I pick her hand she quicky try to kiss my cheek, of course I expect this and dodge, little that I know that she’s also prepare for this and go after the kill

We go back to downstairs, and I begin notice how people at my age behave around us, in fact the way she manipulates everyone and force me at this situation is very cunning and scary,

As day goes on, I gradually adjusted to this situation, eventually I subconsciously hold her hand when we walk together without realizing, we gradually become a real couple without I ever think of it, without realizing it, she really made me gradually fall for her and this forced relationship end up become the real one. Once I realize that it was way too late, and I already care for her as my second nature

I guess her plan is really did work huh. Sometimes I wonder if she did brainwash me or something,

That day her parent visit the refugee camp, it’s always mystery to me why rich girl as her stay there, but now I understand that her parent is the one sponsoring the camp and she just stand as ambassador for the camp, it’s time for that marriage talk again

Her dad is a typical businessman, fortunately I used to give presentation for my software design competition so talking with him is no big deal, her mother on the other hand I think she saw through us right off the bat

She whispered to me with amusing tone..

“Congratulation for being picked, if you need personality adjustment, we can hire specialist”

That’s scary, no wonder Diana is like that, like daughter like mother huh? I guess it’s way too late to bail out, after all I don’t think they need to hire specialist at all at this point.

That what I was thought, I thought that my life will be much better on this cruel world, it might be turn weird, but I end up getting a girlfriend and soon wife, I would start a family, Diana might be force me into it but gradually I end up accepting it, and happy about it, she’s in fact is good nature person only placed at troublesome situation.

That would all came to end, right?

Chapter Text

I was wrong, the world is not so kind to let me have a happy life, that day, a strange people raid our camp, it was not human, but look like human, they all have superhuman strength, Diana dad ask me to protect her as we evacuate but later found out that everyone but us have been killed, desperate for survival  we hide into Area close to great void, place infested by soul junk, but encountering mindless beast is easier than encountering intelligence one right? So we place our bet there. It may be a good idea but surely not good enough

As we hiding to broken building, we take turn to take rest, we manage bring couple of supply box, water and our personal belonging, I try to use my phone to help u navigate but it won’t help us identify souljunk, still this height should be pretty safe.

I’m really tired and feel asleep while sitting, Diana cover me with some cloth as she already behave as my wife since before the marriage talk anyway.

I fell into deep slumber and found myself on that wasteland again, this time it a bit clearer that last time I saw it, still hazy, but better, I walk into the red sun and found the same place with tons of human skill again, again I heard someone call me, but this time I heard it unlike before, as I turn back, someone I know but I can’t remember, she’s smiling at me with creepy smile

“so you found your happiness? Good for you”

Her face is hazy but familiar, I think I know but for some reason I can’t bring my memory up, I try call for her, and she said

“so you dare having hapiness after what you have done? Please die”

Who are you? What do you mean

“so you even forget me after what you done? Death seems way too easy for you”

I grab that person hand, it felt cold but familiar, faintly I smell blood on the air, the next thing I know is I hold a blade stabbing that person and it was all corpse of under us, her creepy smile call me
“Murderer, Criminal, Sinner”

As I scream, I woke up and found out that I was dreaming again I saw Diana sleeping soundly and decided to not bother her at all

It was a night just like when I was injured, somehow I can’t really remember the dream but I do feel that was something really horrible,

Thanks to it I can no longer sleep

It was at that night I realize this is not the end, we are not safe yet, we decided to move out the next morning heading to rendezvous point.

We almost there but I can shake worried, I felt something similar before the incident during collage announcement day, this time it’s clear and stronger.

With my gut feeling I decided to push diana away and found out a space quake hitting us just after that, then I saw bellow us a big giant orb of light just like the one on the sky,

The ground is extremely unstable, I can’t hold up much longer, neither do Diana, this is the last time we hold each other hand, Diana then face me and say this to me with calm face

“Hans thank you for all this time, thank you for accepting me, and thank you for go along with my selfish wishes”

“What do you mean diana, we doing this then we doing this until the end,”

I quickly realize that both diana feet were stuck, it wasn’t that dangerous as long as nothing crazy happen but that will make her escape impossible.

“Hans, I love you, if you manage to survive this, go find other and lead happy life, forget about me okay, you finally free from this drama”

Diana seems think that was her end, deep down I know that too but of course I refuse to give up, still the ground ultimately shattered, and send both of us to the giant light orb to be swallowed.

Everything gone dark. Until later it grow brighter, I woke up in middle of wasteland, the place that I never been into but so familiar,

The sky is not blue, the sun is not right, there is a faint smell of blood on the air.

Is this what inside the Void is? It’s crazy that they have a sun, is this portal to another world? I try look at my surrounding  and found some of those horned people and SoulJunk, I decided to ignore them until I saw something that catch my attention

It was Diana sweater and bag, sticking out of souljunk mouth.

That was it, the person that love me, just gone light that, it remind me how these incident happen and how my poor choice always end up killing everyone, overwhelm by guilt, I heard a strange yet familiar voice,

“Just kill them all”

I sense a vast energy of emotion go inside me, Anger, Sadness, Fear, Torment, Hate, it’s filling me, just before I lose myself, I remember Celia face saying I must never forget my dream and myself

An energy gathering at my left hand, compressing, and getting stronger, for some reason I know how to use this, the energy contains so much dark emotion, but I manage to stay myself by focusing it on my hand, it was at that point I unleash that orb to those soul junk, a blast or compressed dark matter shattering their very body without any remain. I never felt so good and fulfilled seeing how these soul junk crushed but quickly come to my sense that it wasn’t myself, I realize that I just somehow gain unexplainable power, but it seems costing my sanity somehow.

I collect remaining of diana belonging, and bury it, for her grave, I can’t find her body anywhere so that’s all I can do for now

After I finish up a strange horned man approach me, I try to orb again but he raises both of his hand,

“don’t worry I am not going to fight with DesireWorker, even if they just a baby one”

I have no idea what he said but then he said I need to move to west if I want to find other human, he then vanished without trace

That horned man call me DesireWorker, I have no idea what it mean, I decided just keep moving and avoid battle at all cost. After all this power seems taking something from me.

Chapter Text

That horned man has disappeared without trace, it left me with uneasy feeling but there is nothing I can do, this is unfamiliar land to me after all. I wouldn’t really trust that man word but I’ll check out the direction he point out if any.

This place clearly hostile with human, countless SoulJunk to be found and for some reason they always seems exist wherever I go, sometimes I end up using my strange power and gradually able to control it’s output, still I felt something strange pulling me in every time I use that power, it feels that something were taken from me and replaced with something different, one thing strange for sure it I barely felt sleepy tired or hungry after came here, it feels that my body is no longer human, maybe it has something to do with my power which even make me even worrier about the consequences.

That horned man calls me DesireWorker, I don’t have idea what it mean but if word by word alone, it’s a Desire and Worker, am I working for Desire? Of course, every living being has desire, at very basic, every being need to preserve its own life and reproduce to ensure survival of its species, right?

Thinking all day will go nowhere, and this place is no safe, I’ll just keep moving on safe area until I found civilization, whether it’s human or not, at least I have someone to talk and get information, if playing MMORPG is any good, Information will prove advantages on my adventure, well I never expect myself gone into some crazy adventure like this.

After walking 5 days I found some small settlement of human, upon arriving they seems wary to me but after I explain myself, they welcome me like normal people would,

The settlement name is Skylake Camp, it’s sounds like a name of some computer part, from what I see the name Skylake is mainly came from that small blue lake next to people camp that reflecting night sky every night, sometimes although very rare they said the stars can be seen from here, but I haven’t stars since long time ago especially after the Great Void appear in our world and blocking the true blue Sky of our planet,

They settlement leader name Mark, he is a supernatural who utilize ice, he told me that supernatural is common here, and most human who become supernatural is people that have a desire to help others, I grateful to him as he helps me out so much after I join the camp,

After few weeks, I already fully accustomed with camp life, thanks to people here I do not need rely too much of my strange power, after all after few usages I felt strange pain on my left hand, moreover some dark mark appears, this power clearly take a huge toll on my body, I do not want use it too much unless absolutely necessary.

A little girl called Marly call me, she’s really kind cheerful person, she reminds me to my little sister, Celia which make me can’t leave her alone, we end up doing many thing together as the result, from preparing food, laundry, dishes as well as teaching her basic stuff like reading and math, I felt that it’s so cruel to have this little girl to be sent to this hostile unknown world behind the great void, if Any I wish for her to came back.

One day 2 supernatural man around my age back to the camp, the older one named Levi and the younger one is Ben, they share the information, after they finish talk to Mark, I approach Levi and ask him few things,

“Hey levi my name is hans, I’m new here, may I ask few question”

“Sure, hans how can I help? You must have a lot to ask about this strange world, still I must told you that if you ask the way back, we have no idea and that’s what we’re trying to know”

“Yeah of course that obvious, I wonder you know something about horned people”

“Oh, they’re the Vessi, they are people from another world that stuck with us on this strange place, we have a vastly different value and culture but for most of the time we work together on this hostile world”

“Wait? We work together? Back before I was here my refugee camp back on the other side were attacked by those very same being”

“So, you’re not came here at the beginning but get sucked on different incident? Well yeah I expect so, at first we were not friendly at all, but all changes as this place has insane number of SoulJunk, we were forced to work together. These Vessi utilize DesireEnergy as opposed to our SoulForce to power up our ability”
“Huh SoulForce? Desire Energy, what are those”

(The term of Desire Energy interest me as they may contain a hint about DesireWorker)

“SoulForce is energy that manifest of all humans who own supernatural power like us, it came from many thing but mostly from a manifestation of human pure soul, while Desire Energy is totally opposite, it source of Greed and their inner desire that manifest into power, of course that’s why we never really see eye to eye with Vessi but simply work together as business partner”

“I see, so there is no the other way around? There must be a good Vessi right?”

“Not that I know but I heard a rumor that Grasscover camp is trying to rehabilitate DesireWorker”

“DesireWorker? (it was the same term as that Vessi call me for)”

“DesireWorker is human that accept desire energy, they’re dangerous people who let themselves consume by their own greed, they are people who lose all reasoning and become a mindless, no they’re intelligence as human but can’t stop killing other human, I was told that people with intense hatred and desire will turn into DesireWorker but luckily I never met them in person”

“I see, Grasscover camp huh, it sounds interesting”

“you seems really adventurous kind of person, well if you decided to go, let’s wait until my next expedition, traveling alone is not really a good idea”
“you mean it? Okay thank you Levi brother”

“Stop teasing me you rascal ☹”

That night I’m able to sleep soundly, even I no longer required sleep thanks to my power, my mind still do need a rest, As I fall asleep, I found myself into the very same wasteland as my previous dream shows, in fact the dream already a regular occurrence since I arrive to this strange world, again that person who I can’t never remember call my name again

“hello hans, so how are you liking you knew friend”

“what’s your game? I’m sorry but I can’t remember or even see your face at all, where am I?”
“Hans, how dare you forget me I’m *********,”
“sorry I can’t hear you”

“I see, so you still not able to hear me huh, that’s fine then, it’s only matter of time anyway”

“you need to realize that you’re a Sinner, a murderer, selfish scum, don’t try to be happy with people when your hand already dirty”

“look whose these corpse are belong to”

As the fog clearing, I saw All my family and friend corpse lying behind that person, even after the fog clearing my sight to that person is hazy and their voice very hard to identify despite being so familiar to me.

“It was you, it’s all you”

Enraged I subconsciously try to gather energy around and form that Dark matter orb again, just before I fire it in rage, I realize I already wake up on my room, if Only I’ve late realizing that a second later, I would have killed countless people by accident.

I slowly disperse the orb and realize the black mark on my left hand already spreading, I decided to wear a glove after that night to avoid scaring other people. It would be the best if I never need to use this power again, I already fully aware that this power while it’s indeed powerful, it’s eating both my mind and body, as the black mark spreading, the nightmare getting more intense and feels real, I’m afraid that one point I’ll lose myself and become monster, after all that’s what that Vessi call me before a DesireWorker, a monster consumed with greed and harted.

While I no longer able to sleep, I decided to spend my night by listening to music library I save on my phone, as the music play, the tear came from my eye as it reminds me of the old day, the peaceful day that we all once have, the peaceful day that no longer here.

“Am I doing this right Haru? Helping people despite possessing this dangerous power?”

Chapter Text

It’s already 3 years since I arrive at this camp, we end up being a big family that support each other’s together, thanks to no longer need to participate on fighting, I can keep the side effect of my power at minimum, in fact all this time is so peaceful I almost forgot of the hell that have been go through,

One thing that make all of us realize is no one getting older somehow, Marly still looks and behave like 12 years old girl, and my appearance barely changed despite normally I already on my 20’s. it makes me wonder whether the time flow different here, it scares me what will we found out once we manage to get out from this strange world? Will there is any human left outside? If none of them exist anymore, wouldn’t be better to stay here?

I put all those question at back of my head as there is no point thinking something uncertain, then a familiar voice call me from behind after they cover my eye with their tiny hand

“Brother hanss, what are you doing”
“Marly I can’t see, noo please open up”
“No No No No, tell me what you doing”

“I’m just doing chores, would you like helping?”

“yay I’ll help, I’m useful right? Yay”

Marly cheerful face always remind me to my late sister, especially back when she was young, it remind me when I took her to amusement park and looks how she happy riding Ferris wheel, If somehow we made out this strange place alive, I want to take Marly to ride it too

“Brother hans, why you crying, is someone doing something bad to you?”
“No Marly, it’s nothing, I just reminded of the old day”

“Brother Mark tell me that while we’re now family now, so no need to be sad anymore, you’re not alone anymore brother hans”
“thank you marly, you really kind girl, I wish we can ride ferris wheel if we can go back to the other side”
“Really? This is a promise okay? We will definitely back, Pinky promise with me”
“Pinky Promise”

One day a strange man covered in wound arrive the camp, he badly wounded and need medical help ASAP, while we do have a doctor, the amount of tools we can use is limited, still we manage to give him first aid,

After full night rest, the man regain his consciousness, Mark then call everyone above 17 years old to join the meeting at his tent

The man named David, he explains what happen to his village and try to warn us. About possible disaster

“A huge number of souljunk is on the move together, my Camp completely devastated after being overwhelmed by their number”
Everyone goes silent, thinking about possible countermeasure, some others stunned in fear of what’s come

a voice from well known man come break the silent, it was none other the mark, leader that everyone trusts
“Okay, we need to develop a plan, I need us to gather some woods, we will make a morse signal with smoke to warn nearby settlement”
“what if they didn’t get the message” ask Ben with troubled face
“we already have agreement on other settlement on this emergency situation, we can’t risk risking our people by sending more people that we need, I’ll have laura to preparing about possible evacuation”

“Okay” said adult woman stand in the corner

“Ben I want you to stay here and help me defend the camp, Hans, Levi, I want you to secure our evacuation shelter on that mountain, on higher ground we will have more advantages”

We all moving the next morning, fortunately nearby settlement understand the signal and on guard as well, before going Marly sent us off and say she’ll be okay with the rest of the group, we then start moving to our destination,

“Levi, have you ever go to these mountain”

“yes I do, there is some SoulJunk but it’s actually less in number compared what bellow, the thing is these mountain is lack of food for them”
“By the mean of food? Human?”
“not necessary, they need other animals to eat, but as you can see everything is rock here, there is some water but the soil is not that good”

“I see”
Thanks to the sword I receive from Laura, I not really need to use my power, for some reason I’m able to effectively fight with sword despite having no experience with it, still using sword is far better than using that Dark purple energy bomb

We found a good spot near the cliff, there is also a water source behind at it covered from rain, we survey the area nearby and clear any dangerous creature we found

“Hans we’re done here report back to the camp and we’re done, I’ll stay here guarding this place, Mark will tell you the next move”
“how about you?”
“as I said I’ll stay here, if Mark decided to call me back, he knows what to do,”
“Okay”

I quickly rushes back to the camp, upon reaching the camp I found everyone already packing and ready to leave

“2 nearby settlement already wiped out, it’s only matter of time before they arrive” said Mark in grim tone

“I got information of survivor that manage to came to us, they said a girl wielding a Scythe is attacking them” as Laura put wounded people into the cart

I then ask Laura about this

“what, not a SoulJunk?”

“The SoulJunk that we heard about are chasing that girl, she’s DesireWorker, and a powerful one, Her DesireEnergy so strong and attract SoulJunk”

“wait what? Is she fighting the souljunk or lead them?”
“Neither, she attack anything that move, She’s crazy and we should avoid confortation at all cost”

As everything loaded to the chart, we begin to move thanks to some salvaged vehicle that other put together we can load many stuff into the cart.

As the sun rising a black shadow approach us from afar, it’s looks like a Huge Scythe,

“She’s found us Ben, call the other and prepare for battle, this not going to easy but we need to buy sometime”

“Shall we call down Levi?”
“No he needs to keep our shelter secure Hans, you and me going to approach her first, Ben, tell the others to ready their smokescreen”
“Roger that”

I grab my sword and prepare to drop from the cart, then a familliar small soft hand hold my hand from behind

“Brother hans, you’ll return right?”
“Of couse Marly , we have promise right?”
“Yes we must keep out promise, so you must go back safety”
“Ok Marly, see you later”
“Bye Bye”

“bye-bye huh? It’s already long time since someone say that to me”

Mark and I rush into that girl position leaving the caravan behind, as we get close I draw my sword out of instinct, just before we made contact I felt something chill, I immediately rush and mark and kick him down from his course, just a few millisecond later, a huge Scythe wielding demon slashing the position mark once were in

“Hello Human, hhahahahahaha, Please die DIE DIE DIE“

That mad girl rushing toward me with her Scythe and brutally swing it forward, anticipating her direction I manage to do a jump to avoid her attack, as I jump to midair, that Huge demon appear before me and try to slash me, I manage to block the attack with my sword but the force manage to slam me to the ground,

With that force, it will surely kill normal people, I slowly crawling out from the crater the impact left and try to reassess the situation, until,

A flash of light pierce through my retina, I subconsciously raise my sword to block and attack, only to get knocked out, only to have my sword completely shattered, and leave me wounded, the shock getting thrown as well as the wound render me unconscious,

As I lie down, mark already finish preparing his own big move, we both know that this battle is the one that we might not survive, that’s why he is betting our life by his signature move,

A giant wall of ice raised from the ground, it split the ground into 2, it then shatters the other side footing and open out underground river, that Scythe girl then fall into the river downstream and no longer to be seen, as I gradually regain conscious mark greet me and tell me this isn’t over yet.

A large group of souljunk arrive as they’re moving by following that girl, a large amount of energy being released also attract nearby souljunk,

We’re surrounded,

As mark shows sign of exhaustion I stand back up preparing to draw my broken sword, it was as this moment that we know, both of us are going to die but we manage to clear our objective

“Hans, I’m sorry to drag you into this”

“It’s okay mark, we’re on this together you have save me before it’s time to pay you back”
“No, you going to back with others, I’ll use all my remain power to take them out”

“wait what? I’m not gonna let you die on me, we’re doing this together”
“a wounded person should just stay down”
I realize that both my feet were frozen and mark push me down to that crater, the wound I got haven’t fully healed even with my power,

Mark stare at me and smile with fulfilled face, I completely realize that he intend to throw his life to save all of us, as I struggling break ice that bind me, the temperature keep dropping, eventually I manage to break the ice and climb out, only to see all of the souljunk nearby has been frozen solid

Mark still alive, but extremely weak, he probably not gonna make it, as I he lie down his eye were losing it’s light

“Hans, good, you’re alive, now back where others are, keep them safe, they’re our family”
“as I approach mark, a dark figure came behind him, A huge Scythe behead hit just instantly I saw Mark head rolling to the ground and spill his blood,

She’s back

“So Weak, useless man”

I was furious, and decided to open my left glove, I try to gather as much energy into my left hand, but this time is different

I can’t control the energy, the energy gradually come inside me, as I consume in range, I heard a voice, it speak at my own voice but in such creepy manner

“Yes, hate her, hate them, Kill them all, use your harted, this is the only way for you to atone your weakness

Take my hand and awaken your true self”

I take his hand and his voice become clearer, as the energy come more and more into my body his face become clear to me, it was my own face, and my own voice.

As it come a black sword materialize within my hand, a jet-black sword just like the night sky, glow purple just like how my energy bomb looks

I no longer able to resist him in fact I embrace him, eventually his expression become my expression, his voice become my voice, and his hatred become mine as well

I can feel myself transform into someone else completely, yet I didn’t fight back, just a moment before he completely overwrites my personality, I heard a familiar voice

“Hans Brother, remember our promise”

It was Marly voice

Everything went silent

The dark emotion, the anger, hatred, it’s all gone

Someone calls me from behind

It was Celia,

“Brother hans, didn’t I told you, I’ll be always with you, forever, don’t dare to forget our promise”

A burst of tear come out of my eyes; it was Celia voice that keep saving me just before I lose myself

The dark figure of myself look pissed of at me, as he no longer able to come in

“Tch just a little more, still you manage to materialize that sword, it’s only matter of time” as that black figure walk away, I saw another black figure with him, someone familiar yet I can’t identify, it’s too hazy on my sight, eventually my surrounding back to way last time I saw it

That Scythe girl look at me

“I’m disappointed, you’re a failure your weakness disgust me”

“What?”

“Your face disgust me, it make me want to vomit, forget it I lose my mood” as she walk away to the direction of remaining SoulJunk

“Wait who are you and why you doing this”
“You’re annoy me, My name is Lily Bloommerchen, remember that in fear until you die, Failure”

As she walks away, she slaughters the remaining SoulJunk, leave nothing, I lose in though and wonder why she call me failure, was she expect something from me

Also, that sword

The black sword is different than other sword I tried, it feels different, it feels that I know it for a long time despite only wield it just now.

It doesn’t make sense, too much things to learn,

I grab remaining of Mark body and head, and give him proper burial back on sidelake of remaining of Skylake Camp, I didn’t notice this but as the moon shine the water reflection become clear

When I saw my own face, I’m shocked

“What happen to my eyes?”

The color of my eyes was changed, it radiate strange pattern that were not there before, as I calm down I realize how I perceive everything changed, it feels like seeing something from the closed box,

I calm myself down, rather than let it fear me I try to see this with Logic, cause, and effect basis, that way I should be able to keep being myself.

“Ok this is how I used to think when working, I’ll just use this way of think as my regular basis.”

I arrive at the camp and everyone me back, but they realize something were off on me, they suddenly keep their distance in confusion,

I deciding to seeing Levi, as I walk they open the way and levi already been seen near the edge of cliff, then a familiar yet calming voice can be heard

“Brother Hans!!”
it was Marly, she rushes into me and cry at my shoulder, everyone not sure what to do, or what to say

“Marly you stay here okay? I need to talk with Levi”
“Okay Brother hans”

Chapter Text

As I approach Levi in the edge of the cliff he looks me with troubled looks, even I know that the changes in me were really worrying, but I didn’t dare to say it myself

We stare at each other for a while, until a sound of water drops finally break the silence

“Hans, how was Mark last moment”
“he fought bravely until the end, the fact that I’m here is thanks to him”
“I see”
Levi look away into the edge of the cliff, at the direction where the old Skylake Camp used to be
“I already properly send him off, his grave is on lakeside where we used to sit”
Levi stare at me with determined look as he bite his own lips

“Hans you must already know what happen to you”

I stunned

It’s not like I want to hide it, I simply don’t dare to speak it, but all the evidence is here,

“Sorry Levi, I saw mark get beheaded in front of me by That girl”

“I see that’s your trigger, it can’t be helped but you must know what to do”

“I am, that’s why I want to apologize and say goodbye”
Levi hug me just like how older brother hug his younger brother, he know that one of his friend already changed into something terrible
“If you go to the west, you will find grasscover camp, in past I promise I’ll take you into the expedition there, but seems you must go alone”
“Grasscover?”

“I heard a rumour that they already save someone like you, they even turn them into SoulWorker”

“SoulWorker?”
“a totally opposite side of DesireWorker, far stronger than any human here”

“I see, I guess I have go”
“Brother Hans is leaving us?”

We look behind and saw Marly crying

“Liars Liar you break your promise”

I can’t feel a thing

It’s empty, hollow, even though Marly is crying

I cannot escape the fate; I must accept the fact that on that battle I turn into the same thing as That Scythe girl lily does

I’m already become a DesireWorker

“Marly, I’ll go for expedition so I can find the way back, I’ll come back once I secure the way home, okay?”

“Okay”
“Take care Levi”
“You too hans”
as I left the shelter, Everyone seeing me off, they must already know what happen, many of them shed Tears but they all know what need to be done
Desire worker are dangerous, there is no telling when I lose myself and taken over by greed, even if they manage to control themselves, the desire energy gradually attract SoulJunk nearby making them dangerous for normal people by just existing.

It’s strange I felt nothing, it feels hollow, and I can’t hear their tears, I know they’re crying but simply can’t understand

Is this how someone will be once they become DesireWorker, this is cruel

I must calm down, I must not let my emotion get over me, now that I become DesireWorker, I need keep my emotion in check, I need to calm down and think logically all the time, I need to process everything with logic and knowledge first, so I didn’t get devoured by DesireEnergy.

“Grasscover camp huh? It will take many months before I reach that camp”

I walk into a rocky mountain; on the way I found many settlements but all of them look me with hate, even as far as attacking me, or set up a trap, I understand why they doing this as they must be fear the presence of DesireWorker, it’s only natural and it’s can’t be helped

Instead hating them I try to understand it as Cause and effect, just like Program Input/Output.

It’s ironic a very less human way of thinking, a way of thinking just base of logic and never considering others feeling is the only way for me to stay human.

As I travel, I encounter countless Huge SoulJunk, and end up fighting, Gradually I am able to use my power at reasonable level without being consumed, as I fight, I refine my sword skill also getting adapted on DesireEnergy

It’s still a long way to go, before I reach grasscover camp

Am I going to stay human until there, or I’ll lose my human side first?

I decided to take some rest on the cave at mountain rock I was on, while by being DesireWorker I can keep at my peak condition 24/7 constantly I need to rest my mind to ensure I stay sane, as I fall asleep, I found myself on that wasteland again, this time it’s clear to me how it’s look,

As I walk into the wasteland full of grave and sword, I end up on that same place as I always been, this time before they try to call me, I already know where they are and turn around
“Hee, so you’re already can sense us clearly”
there is 2 dark figures stand before me, one of them resemble me, the very same figure that almost overwrite my personality

The second black figure is unknown to me, I can’t hear their true voice or form, I just can sense and understand what they talk but cannot identify them at all

“Never mind, you are still not able to sense me, well it’s not surprising”
The black figure of me seems pissed of and look at me at disgust

“How come you still here, how can you still stay sane on that situation?”
“what do you mean?”
“a man who took you, save you from that wasteland, give you home and now he is dead because your failure, and your fear using that power”

“It can’t be helped, that power devour my sanity, there no guaranteed I’ll not accidently kill him myself If I use that power”

“How can you be so heartless, no u felt guilt, the fact that you’re closer to me than before prove it”

“of course, I felt guilt, as human, and a person for not being able to save him, that guilt haunt me every second I breath”

“then why?”
“by logically thinking and eliminating possibility to reach the most practical result, of course you all know well it pain myself to do so, that’s why you exist, that’s why you able to influence me”
“then you should be know this well, one day, you will gone. no You’ll become me and I’ll be the real personality”

I woke up

Unlike my previous interaction the last one end up peacefully, but one thing for sure,

It’s only matter of time before he devours me, that’s why I need to seek help from Grasscover camp ASAP, this is race of time and my mental endurance, whether I’ll lose to that shadow, or I’ll be saved.

As the sun begin to rise, I continue my journey to the west, thanks for being DesireWorker I no need to eat or felt fatigue the same human do, still the journey alone feels so long

Chapter Text

The amount of SoulJunk I encounter since I materialize my sword, has been increased dramatically, not only the small fries come out, even the big one starting come as well, day after day fighting giant beast.

I heard a screaming voice,

I decided to take a look what happen, but later a Lizard like SoulJunk getting in my way, these lizard not that big of a deal but they can do some nasty ranged move

I decided to prioritize eliminating this lizard first as it poses possible threat to me and Suddenly

“BROTHER HELP MEEE”

Without thinking I gather DesireEnergy on my feet and launch myself in midair, then I use the same energy to launch a kick on midair resulting I launch myself to specific direction,

I saw a little girl cornered when a giant wolf shaped SoulJunk about to get her

Immediately I ready my sword midair and performing 180° Degree rotation, my sword glow Purple after I infuse it with DesireEnergy, I manage cut off the wolf head thus saving the child

I immediately see if the Girl is wounded and fortunately she got no scratch I ask her why she were all alone here? as crying she reply with
“I getting separated from my brother, Big brother are you a SoulWorker?”
“Hng something similar, Ok let’s us find your brother and get you home okay?”
“Okay thank you big brother”

Her smile reminds me of Marly and Celia, just as we going to move a extremely fast attack launch at me, it’s so fast I couldn’t block it completely

It was a mortal wound; I saw a gray-haired man picking up the girl as I lose consciousness.

The next thing I know I was in some kind of closed room chained, for some reason I can’t break the chain

The man is gone, my bag is gone, someone seems treat my wound but they still lock me up, what’s the deal

Then it was a Purple haired woman

“oh you wake up already? Ok let me get the other quick”

She’s gone and come back with bunch of other, there is a black haired man with glasses together with him

“I’m sorry hans for looking into your possession, we’re assuming it was some kind of weapon but we found a Laptop and tablet inside,
“You didn;’t broke those aren’t you?

“no no they’re fine”

“good”

“Ok let me introduce myself, my name is Ladi, I’m leader of Grasscover camp, nice to meet you”
Grasscover? Isn’t that the camp I was seeking for, a camp where there was a case that they manage to save someone who become DesireWorker, a that might be able to help me eradicate this cursed power?

“so as much as we hate to lock someone out, we don’t have a choice to do so as you already attack innocent child”

“wait what? I didn’t”

“WAIIITT”
“Brother ladi, this Big brother save me from giant wolf, he is not a bad guy”
“Kana I told you that you shouldn’t came here, Lupan, could you take her away?
“Okay”

“Ok, that was unexpecting, according to tenebris report you’re assaulting that child”
“please stop make me sounds like a criminal”

“interesting”

“what?”
“how can you be a DesireWorker, while retaining sanity? How do you even become one anyway”

“it’s a long story”

“It was me he enraged after I behead his friend and materialize his sword”

It was a familiar voice, the one that I hope I never heard again, it was her, a girl that kill Mark

“Lily”
“You know her?” ask ladi to me

“we got a unpleasant history”

“Ok that’s change everything, we going to let you outside. Don’t dare to escape, as I’ll be watching”
“no need to worry, I actually looking for this place”

“ok let’s continue this upstairs”

as we go out I saw how this settlement goes, it was a lot bigger than Skylake, apparently there is 3 SoulWorker protecting this place according to Kana, as we sit down, a girl named Miriam brought us tea

“Ok so why you were searching for us”
“I heard a rumor that you guys manage to save DesireWorker and turn them into SoulWorker, I honestly don’t care about power but seeking help to save me from this curse”
“Curse huh?”

“is there something wrong?”

“so you think your power as curse?” ask Ladi curiously

“yep, it is indeed useful and powerful, but it cost way too heavy”

“can you explain?”

“I can feel this power gradually eating me, I may can resist it all this time but I don’t know how long I will last”

“I see, at least you realize that you’re being consumed”

Ladi silently thinking about what to do, as I drink the tea poured by Miriam, a Gray-haired man approach us
“Ladi what are you up to, why you let this man outside, he attack”

“no according to him and Kana he saving her from souljunk”

“I still can’t trust him, he is too dangerous”

“Tenebris, it’s okay, we lose 1 and we found one, eventually we will find her and save her”

“Sometimes I wonder how you can stay positive”

“Sorry we just have 1 DesireWorker escape from the camp earlier”

“I see, is that gonna be okay, the other DesireWorker I met is Lily, and she..?”

“yeah I know, we already dispatch a search team no need to worry”

“all right then, Ladi I want to ask about how do I turn back to normal”

“frankly you can’t there is no way to do so”

“haaaah? Then how did?”

“you can’t get rid of that power but you can change it’s nature, that’s what happen to Lupan, I’m sure you already know what you need to do to save yourself”

I have my hunch, but it was too cruel to ask me to do so, after all I can’t forgive my own selfishness that causing people death it was too irresponsible to pretend it never happen.

As I struck in silence Ladi ask me to help around with the camp,  as DesireWorker I do have stronger strength than most people here so I can at least help with hard labor. Also My tablet has some collection of cooking recipe, that I share with Miriam, she said tonight we can have something different to eat.

As I get used to my life at the camp everyone begin accepting me, maybe because I was a special case and barely show sign of violent or rampaging, in fact some even confuse by the fact I am a DesireWorker.

Ladi suspect that my DesireEnergy can only barely pull me in, according to tenebris I was far Weaker than other DesireWorker, while it’s good to be less affected, I’m still hosting a large amount of DesireEnergy.

It strange feeling, I kind able to feel their kindness, I haven’t feel like this since before that incident

Maybe there is a hope after all,

As the days goes on I see less and less people, I tend not to get involved on their strategic problem, and prefer doing more peaceful job if possible, that way I can suppress the negative effect as much as I can, even ignoring my mental state the black mark on my left hand already spreading, according to Miriam she can’t heal it at all, it looks like my left hand gradually transform into something that inhuman the more I use DesireEnergy.

One day Ladi decided to leave the camp for investigating with his team, He left Tenebris in charge overseeing camp while I decided to help with Logistic and kitchen job, things start turn into worse after 3 days there is no update from him at all, while there is also a rumor about DesireWorker rampaging on the other camp, killing innocent people, as much as I want to go, I can’t risk myself go into battle and get consumed myself, if I weren’t careful instead being able to stop them, I might end up causing more damage.

The guilt for being powerless is haunt me, as I reminded of my guilt, the Dream start coming back, I decided to no longer sleeping, as DesireWorker body can always go without sleeping, instead I decided to listen to some music from my phone memory

That night I sneak out of my tent, while Tenebris shouldn’t worried to much about me as much as Lily does, I still not allowed to leave without permission, well, it’s not like I’m leaving anyway, I gather a bit power at my feet and performing high jump, and reach the broken leftover building in the camp, this building must be sucked when the Great void first appear on earth

I connect my earphone and play music from my library, as the second song over someone familiar approach me from behind
“Listen to a song while stargazing huh”

“Tenebris I thought u didn’t realize”

“I already realize when you get out from your tent, still I believe that you won’t do anything crazy”

“thank you for believing in me”

“Can’t sleep huh?”

“Yeah I felt, restless”

“I can relate, there is no update from Ladi after all, Iris also getting more aggressive by day”

“are you worried about him?”

“Ladi? He’s one of the most powerful SoulWorker around, I trust him “

“I see, it’s really a while since I watch star with friend, last time it was during….”
As I stopped at my sentence, the tear start coming out from my eyes, it was a strange looking when the eye radiating a DesireEnergy are shedding tears that pure.

“One day we will back to the other side, and take back our blue sky, we can watch star again back on our world”

“Yeah, we should invite everyone and hold BBQ party” as I wipe my tear

It has been 3 weeks without notice from Ladi, Tenebris then decided to Investigate the matter of where Ladi going, together with that Kant guy, Honestly, I don’t really like him as he give me a vibe of being manipulative jerk, still if Tenebris are in charge I guess I can trust him, after few days Tenebris back without any information about Ladi and looks devastated

“Tenebris, what happen?”

“it’s okay hans I need some time alone”

Everyone can tell that Tenebris gradually lose his strength, a Strength of SoulWorker came from its SoulForce, For Tenebris it was His Strong Sense of Justice, I guess something hard has happen.

After few days Iris decided to leave, and take few people with her, she said she can’t no longer follow Tenebris leadership

With Tenebris gone weaker, and our number gone thinner the job protecting camp border from dangerous SoulJunk going to be harder, I decided to help patrolling and exterminating SoulJunk, by keeping the DesireEnergy Output in check,

One day Tenebris decided to check out report about young girl name stella, as he left me to defend the camp in case of emergency, he left with kant together, few days after he is back, there is an uproar that people getting slaughtered by Stella, while I was working in kitchen I can heard Kant, Lupan and tenebris arguing to deal with the situation.

Eventually the group set off, and Lily decided to left the camp as she said tenebris can’t keep his promise. The group later back with a little girl named Catherine, who suddenly disappear without a trace.

Everything goes downhill from there but at very least we still try our best, until that day come.

The each night gone restless for most camp member, it feels that something so terrible is yet to come, as everyone felt asleep I play the music again at the same spot, reminded of peaceful day during my time as school, as the image of my peaceful memory came through my brain I’m able to calm down, little do I know that those image will got shattered forever the next morning

2 Mysterious person came from the direction of the sun at that morning, as they coming other camp member are preparing for assault, They must be the so called DesireWorker that rumoured to be rampaging lately, somehow I felt uneasy about this, but as I know what should I do, While Lupan start evacuating noncombatan, Tenebris and I already materialize our weapon, and greeted by horror sight

“Yo Tenebris, it’s has been a while”

A young man with Pale skin, I think I have seen him on TV show before but his skin colour is different, but the real deal is on the other way
I didn’t recognize her because the way her hair look, but greeted with that creepy laugh, I drop my weapon, and start approach her,
“Hh..a..Haa.Haaru, You’re alive?”
“hee, who do we have here? Hans It’s has been a while”
“hello haru, I glad you’re alive”
a burst of tear came our of my eyes, as I run toward her, yes it was Haru, the Girl I fall in love into, She’s alive, the girl that I thought already long dead on that day stand before me,

“Come Back Hans!!!!!” as tenebris scream, unfortunately I no longer heard his scream and too focused of image of my missing classmate

As I getting closer Haru smile upon me, our distance is about 30 Cm, as I’m relucant should I hug her or not, I felt something struck on me

A Large huge red and black greatsword were trusted on my stomatc, it later swing and smash me into nearby wall

“Ha..haru why?”
As I saw it was Haru who mortally injure me, the image of my classmate that used to smile at me, the image of she who always cheerful, the image of the girl that capture my heart by her kindness alone, shattered at that very moment

I try raise my hand on her direction, she later came closer only to pull my hair and say several thing

“Still alive? Huh, please die scum,”

She later smash my mortally wounded body to nearby walls, my vision grow blurry as I loss large amount of blood,

“ha…ha…ha ruu”

Is this my punishment, is this my penalty of my selfishness, is this how my end

As my vision grow darker, I saw Tenebris begin his assault, Gradually everything went dark and I can no longer feel anything.

Chapter Text

It was cold

Dark

As I fall into endless darkness, I barely feel anything, I reach a place where there is nothing but darkness,

Is this afterlife? Is messenger of God now will now appear and start questioning me?

I heard a footstep, while I can’t see anything, I can sense someone approaching

Or maybe something

“Are you satisfied with that?”

it was my voice talking to me, that is not angel, that is my shadow who always torture me in my dream

“I don’t know”

“you should be realize that this isn’t afterlife yet”

“I know”

“you’re broken, and no longer able to resist me, as we speak, your awareness diminishes, I just want to pay respect of my former self”

“I see”

I felt something cold gradually fill my body, as he grabs my hand, I have no longer will to resist him, in fact it would be much easier.

As the cold feeling my body, the pain of my chest grows, it gradually turn into sorrow, hate and helplessness for not be able to do anything.

As he faded away, I start regaining my awareness, no

“hehe hehe, at last” as I speak to myself

It was complete, that shadow finally manage to do it, no it was no longer shadow, it was my brand new personality born of endless guilt, as my new self-start to awaken, my mortal wound instantly healed,

Tenebris already fall back to ensure the evacuation safe, when I awake there is one man stand before me,

“Fascinating, truly marvelous”

Kent, the man that I never trust, stand before me,

“What do you want?”

“I’ll invite you to our little party, my new Perfect DesireWorker”

At least I fully awakened as DesireWorker, the trist of human blood is all I have, but I refuse to join their little party, especially with that smug annoying face in the lead.

“are you sure? you can be together with your gi..”
as kant about to finish his sentence my Sword slashing through his neck, but in just split milliseconds, he already teleport 10 meters away from me

“Woah scary, wonderful greed, no matter you’ll join us eventually”

As Kant disappear, I begin to look for the others as I found none, I encounter some giant SoulJunk on the way, but none of them matter, I felt my power dramatically increase since then.

I didn’t manage to find any human, Tenebris party should already move away, while Kent party should be disposing most of the rest, all I found is ugly SoulJunk that only getting bigger and bigger.

Gradually my cloth changed it form, my hair, skin all changed, as my appearance change I more get accustomed with my fully unleash power.

Still, I haven’t found human, did the Kent already got them all?

A man with Smug face watching from afar, it was Kent and Erwin, seeing how I am rampaging and destroying everything I see.

“See Erwin, he is fun, just like Haru, once the tiny pilar holding him back gone, he truly become art”

“Haha that’s interesting way to say it, all right I’ll go back have some fun”

“Ok take care”

Months I spend without satisfying my hunger, the more SoulJunk I slay, the hungrier I got, until one day I finally encounter a human group.

A Small party of people looking for someone,

It was Levi, Marly and Ben near the Lake, gathering water

Driven by bloodthirst I rush to their location, as I ready my weapon

“Finally,”

The speed knock both Ben and Levi midair, As I about to swing my sword to Marly she smiles at me
“Brother hans? Is that you? You finally back?”
my appearance is totally different, the hair color, skin, eye color, cloth, but she can recognize me at one sight

I drop my weapon and screaming
“AAAARGGHHGR”
an intense pain on my chest, it’s unbearable even to DesireWorker standard,

As I scream both Levi and Ben run toward Marly in effort to save her,

I decided to flee

It was easy to me to slay all 3 of them, but somehow, I decided to flee

It was illogical

I flee to nearby mountain of rock, screaming for 3 days straight until the pain settle down.

Back at Skylake refugee camp, Ben and Levi discuss what happened

“it was hans” as Levi take a deep breath
“…. I know”
“I see he didn’t make it, he was a good person, even now he able to stop”
“Indeed, but clearly it was a luck, we need to be more careful now”

While on Marly tent despite what just happen, she’s back to her drawing happily,
“Yay Hans brother seems health, we going to ride Ferris wheel together”

As she finishes her drawing and fall asleep, the others turn off the lamp for her

It wasn’t clear to me how she able to recognize me in split second, on next morning I wake up in middle of mountain all alone, the pain and anger is all gone

All I felt, emptiness losses, and guilt

I lost all my thirst All I want is to end my own life, but as demonstrated before I am able to regenerate most mortal injury.

“I guess death is the only way for me, if anyone able to kill me, it must be them”

Chapter Text

That day, the wind is dusty as it carries small debris of the mountain, I walk alone on wasteland devoid of all life, no SoulJunk, no Human, no nothing, I’m looking information about Kent and his group but found nothing

“Nothing huh?”

As the wind settle down, I found myself next to small Oases, as I gaze through the water, My phone ringing

I draw my phone out, it was Reminder of Celia birthday,

I was freeze for a moment

Subconsciously I tap to the birthday notification, and it shows me the Celia picture together with me back when we visit beach resort together

A tear came out of my eyes, it was an impossible thing to happen as I should no longer feel affection to that pic, being DesireWorker and such should completely eradicate such emotion and personality.

I dropped my phone into the Lake, until to later dive and try to pick it up, fortunately it was rated for water resistance on certain dept.

I put back the phone in my pocket

“Celia, just wait I’m coming soon”

It was a strange conflict within me, I should already overwrite my past personality with my DesireWorker greed, I still felt conflict, it was come from depth of my soul, it won’t gone no matter how hard I tied, no matter how many times I overwrite my personality, no matter how many times I erase my memory.

I decided to head back to Grasscover camp to recharge my phone, there should be still battery pack for charging my phone,

There is no one here,

The camp already deserted back when Haru and Erwin attack the camp, some stuff still remains and usable as they are,

No food, a bit water, couple of battery pack

I decided to spend night there, at the same spot where I always be, where I always can gaze the star,

It’s strange, it feels that the current me is not changed at all, it feels like where it always used to, peaceful, quiet, gazing though the star

I close my eyes, and fall under deep sleep

On my dream, I found myself on my Room, My room at my home.

“What?”

I saw my sister open the door, it doesn’t seem she can’t hear or see me at all, she sat down on dinning table, together with mom and dad.

As I froze standing, I saw both my parent smiling with my sister, it feels so natural and pain my heart, it angers me as it was the view that I will never see again, I felt being mocked by being shows this scene.

Someone opens the door

A young male, with school uniform, carrying an oversized box, he clearly struggling but still doing it regardless

The young man approaches the dining table carrying a large size of box

“Mom where should I put this?”
“put it on dad worktable, would you”
“okay”

As he come out from dad workshop I saw my own face, no, my past face, the face where everything still okay, the face where everything was supposed to be right now.

My anger at its peak, yet I can’t grasp any energy, it feels I have been cut off from my power,

“Why are you so mad”
the young man speaks to me, it was a shocking turn of event that he can perceive me when others didn’t

“Calm down, there is no need to angry”

“Wait a second, this place is”

“This is our inner world, it’s the same place as that wasteland you always drag me into, back then we are tormented of our guilt, the wasteland we are in simply representative of our own soul, this time we desire back into peaceful days”

“That’s… impossible, you should be gone, I already devour and take over,”

“If it’s true, then what sadness you are feeling right now? you never devour me, we are one and the same, you should know that”

“Shut up, Begone, my only wish is to pay for what I have done”

As I woke up the sun has risen, it was strange dream where our position has been swapped. What I wish to get punished for mistake that I have done in the past, it was a desire for salvation, a desire to save my own soul for not being able to realize what is important.

As I spend time to think someone approach me from behind, someone I know well, she’s here

“So, this is where you are”

It was Haru

“Hey, come join us, we need more people to take revenge of this place, this place who rob our life”

“Revenge huh?”

It might be not too bad, to join her, after all, I’m now able to stay with person I care about.

“One question, why did you attack me that time”

“oh, so you’re mad? Or you mad because I call you a scum, well it doesn’t matter, I thought you were just like most the others, a fake human made by this place, but since you alive and have the same power as we do, then you’re one of us”

“I see”

She’s not the same as I know, her logic is twisted, the way she talks, the way she looks at someone, it’s all different.

Yet I want to be with her, her voice alone is enough to make me follow her. Eventually we end up Regroup with Others

Lily, and Jin, I know these 2, Erwin is there when Haru first meet me at Grasscover, also there is a little kid, playing guitar,

Who is she, as I approach, my gut tells me to block incoming attack, a shadow like man attacks me with insane speed,

“Stop it, old man”

As the kid say that the shadow disappears, I tried to talk to her, but she cut me out just before a word come out

“She’s stella, I think you should be careful with her”

Say Erwin with annoying face

“I don’t want to hear that from you”

As we move in group, we take out small settlement, still I can’t bring myself kill people, I end up taking care SoulJunk that appear

Eventually Haru pick my doubt

“Hey hans, what’s wrong, there is nothing wrong with killing these human wannabe”

“I’d just take care of souljunk that might bother us, that’s all”
“you’re not fun hans, we used to have fun back in school, right? We can have more fun here”

“yeah, maybe I’ll try later”

Erwin later try to talk with me Alone,

“So, you two used to be at the same school huh? Interesting,”

“yeah we used to in the same class”
“!!!. “As he walks away seems in disgust
“what’s wrong with that guy, argh I have no time for some drama”

One day Haru said we manage to track a big fish, I don’t understand what she means but she clearly looking forward for it, whatever it is, must be, another human

It pains me to see her like this, but there is nothing I can do, that’s why I want to get punished, by death

“If you’re the one that, do it haru I might have no regret”

It was my wish, but I can’t even bringmyself to ask her to do it, even I can’t make enemy to her, I still can’t

I was forced to do nothing

As we move, we found human settlement, it was Skylake camp.
“Marly”

Chapter Text

The camp already know, Group of DesireWorker are approaching, some of them prepare the evacuation, some of them preparing traps, some of them ready their weapon.

The 2 strongest people at Camp, Levi and Ben are going out to fighting at the frontline, even they know that they wouldn’t stand a chance

Erwin materializes his weapon and disarm a large number of traps, they clearly did not anticipate it going to be disarmed like that, I can see how Ben

“Your Honor, my Queen”
“Shut up Erwin”

“Scary, it’s just a joke lol”

As Haru approach Levi, she’s ready her weapon, Levi was about to unleash his Ice Wall move, only to realize that his leg has been cut off by Lily ranged attack

“Hahahahahaha” as haru step on Levi head, she later Cut off Ben head on the spot while Levi is struggling

It was brutal, a cruel way to torture people, the rest of people behind struck with Terror as their leader was not even made move at all.

“Levi Brother!!”
a little girl voice appears of nowhere, it was voice that very familiar, it’s Marly

“Hoo time to teach you some manner”

As haru approach the girl, none of the older dare to came out to rescue her she draws her weapon,
“Bad Big sis, GO AWAY!!”
as Marly provoke haru, haru then laugh in very scary way

“You seem don’t understand the situation, Blame yourself for being Kid I guess”
as Haru swing her sword, Marly Close her eye and shout
“Bro…”
at split of millisecond, I draw my sword and block haru attack

A sound of 2 Metalic weapon smashing together echoing through the crowd

“Hoo, so you are getting in my way now HANS!!”

“Stop it Haru, this is enough I..”
A gutshot sound can be heard as a bullet piece my left Knee

“1 Bullet for the Traitor, YEAAAH” Said Erwin as he sounds like really happy about it

“The Second Bullet” as the bullet pierce my other Knee
“Third One” it Pierce though my Stomatch

Erwin Clearly having fun, he is no aiming Vital spot, he clearly having fun torturing me with gun

Suddenly someone clapping their hands, it was that Smug Kent

“Good Work Everyone hahahaha,” as everyone stare into kent, he is become the main attention with his smug annoying face

“Okay, Haru, let’s give Hans 1 chance, after all you two are classmate, right?”
“Good idea, Okay hans, kill that Girl bring me her head, and we can stay together forever”

I was frozen for a second
I glare at my sword,

I can see myself bringing Marly head just now, it’s not that difficult, and it’s not weird, I am one of them,
suddenly a small hand hug me from behind
“Hans big brother is not evil, he is not gonna do that”

…

….

…..

A burst of Desire energy came out and shielding me, Marly mildly knocked back only be saved later by Levi Ice structure

“Hahaha this is the best, ladies and gentlemen, look at this, soon Hans will go rampage and massacre the whole camp”

Everyone other than Stella Laughing as they saw someone so pathetic

Everything went dark, the energy takes over, it’s not even my voice anymore, it’s pure raw emotion that not even have a human voice

I stand alone, gradually eaten by the energy, the pain on my chest is unbearable,

“Just… Kill me already I can’t go on anymore”

“Big brother”

a familiar voice a voice I have long time not hear

“Hans”

A man voice, someone who were annoying yet will do anything for me

“Hans”

A Woman voice, her voice is so comforting as her voice illuminate the world for me

“Hans”

A young Female voice, a voice that I heard recently but the one that I want to trully heard

“Hans”

Another young female voices the one that together with me in life and death situation

“Hans”
even more voice I couldn’t count even identify

I look behind

I saw myself, in school uniform

Behind him I saw Celia, Mom, Dad, Haru, Diana, and countless people who were friend to me, from real world, and the Great void

“Brother hans don’t you forget your promise”
“I… I…”

“Hans…. Don’t forget every man should trust their gut”
“Dad ….”

“Hans mama love you always”
“Mom… I…”

“Hans… don’t you say you want to be software engineer”
“Haru…”
“Hans… Don’t be so pathetic, we were supposed to be engaged, dad won’t approve you if u like that”
“Diana…”

“Everyone….”

“You should understand now, right?” as the me who stand before me say to myself

“You’re never a incarnation of your greed, you just influenced by your guilt, I am your shadow as well as your light, you should have understand that you can’t save yourself by punish yourself, our sin will never, ever be forgiven, we must face and live with it”
“Right. I know, I know all this time, I just run away from it, not anymore, this time I’ll taken responsibility, even it cost my life I’ll bring her back and set things right”

“Take my hand”

Everyone smile upon me, as I take his hand, his body reconstructed as a Sword, a Sword that I always use, but this time, it feels different, it feels warm

I grab the sword as everything glow bright

As my real body is burned into dark flame of desire energy, Haru seems already lost her patience,

“Ah this is take too long, let’s just kill everyone and left the girl for Hans”

“Roger that” say everyone in unison

Instantaneously I rush toward her, and she block my attack

“No, I won’t let it happen, not anymore”
“Move it Hans, stop getting in my way”
The energy grow stronger

“HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS THE BEST” Kent looks very happy with what happening, until something unexpected happened.

From that large amount of DesireEnergy concentrate into dark flame a small blue light appears, the light getting bigger and brighter, eventually the whole energy turned into a blue light,

“What, HOW, HOW COME, HEY HEY THIS ISN’T FUNNY”, Kent seems very frustrated of what he saw

Of course, he annoyed, all those DesireEnergy Instantly purified, they turn into blue SoulForce blazing in light, just as the Azure star shine bright illuminate the galaxy. It’s mark of true SoulWorker birth

As the blue light gradually vanishes, I regain my consciousness, there is no anger, no hatred, or pain, everything as clear as night sky, my mind is clear on one thing, to stop this farce and take Haru home, where she belongs

“Haru, let’s end this, it’s time for us to go Home”

I take a stance to do horizontal swing with my sword, The sword no longer aura no longer dark purple like it used to but it low blue and bright, just like how Halley comet glow when orbiting earth, in split second I do a 240° degree swing and launch a massive blue shockwave, splitting the ground into two.

As the aftershock strong enough to collapse the way between us and Kent party, I ask the refugee to run away while I’ll buy time for their escape. It will really troublesome if the cliff collapses as if it did, it will Kent party that will have difficulties

Eventually they break the rock blocking us by using less impact move, but it’s too late, the refugee is no more, and it’s only me and them

“So, you turn out to be traitor after all, Become SoulWorker acting like hero now huh”

Haru pissed off, she’s really’s real mad, Kent is nowhere to be found, while Others seems get ready but

“He is mine,”

Haru seems want to take me alone, her anger is immeasurable,

She charge toward me at high speed and break through the wall, we end up arrive at the more open area.

“Why Hans, why you of all people betray me, we’re there at that day, we both lose our family, if anyone understand me most it should be”

“Sorry I can’t, I can’t hurt innocent people, they’re like us, victim of the disaster, there is no reason for me to hate them and neither do you”

“No, they aren’t people, they’re part of this cursed place, the fact that they don’t have DesireEnergy proof that they are not hating this place despite having rob their life, which mean they’re fake,”

This is not getting anywhere, her logic twisted, her hate driven her insane. Still, I won’t stop believing

I was a DesireWorker, so I know how DesireEnergy poison one mind, it drives people mad, but no matter how dark it is, there should still be a good in her,

I’ll put my faith on her, I’ll put her back no matter how long it will take, Hundred? Thousand? No matter, this strange world doesn’t make people aging anyway, I have all the time I need for her.

Suddenly a flash of Gun shot from nearby rock, it was Erwin, and the others seems surround me,

“Sorry haru, we don’t have time now, Kant call us, let’s wrap him and fast”

Others now join in, there is 6 of them at all now, seems the whole party is here
as Erwin begin firing a barrage of shot, Lilly and Stella use their summon creature to attack me, I have no idea what those are but those clearly a bad bad news, it’s extremely difficult fight, as I need to fight 6 of them at the same time,

Desperately dodging an attack from multiple side, haru manage to knock off my sword midair, her grim smile shows how confident she now as after disarming me.

Or am I really got disarmed,

My sword flew higher than normal, it was reaching they sky as I raise my right hand, then everything went dark as the sword disappear, the Sky turned into night instantly, full of bright star.

It was a beautiful sight to be seen the just like how sky looks back when I was on trip with my schoolmate, stargazing while camping outside.

I put my hand down as the Star become closer and closer

“Thousand Star”

It wasn’t a star, but countless blade made of my soulforce, representing my desire to see peaceful night again, a pure wish of human soul, amplified and materialized, as wide area attack

Countless blades fall and devastated the area, it force the DesireWorker into defense, and eventually retreat,

the move end and the sky gradually back to normal, I can’t find any remain of the as I figure they choose to retreat against such move,

I rejoin the camp refugee to ensure everyone safe, Marly cried and hug me as hard as she could
“Brother Hans, I know it, Brother hans is a good person” Marly wouldn’t stop crying

“Hans, thank you, sorry for doubting you”

“it’s fine levi, it was a right choice, I barely able to come back from that”

“My leg has been healed but it will take a while for us to prepare for long journey, we decided to stay hidden for a while, what about you hans? Now you’re fully awakened as SoulWorker, everyone here no longer has reason to fear you”

“I’m afraid I’ll have to continue my journey, I can’t protect you guys by going defensive, If I want to have a choice, I’ll have to take them out, 1 by 1”

“I see, I guess it’s goodbye for now”

“Next time we meet I hope will be on the other side”

“I hope so”

Marly still sobbing but she decided to talk to while holding back her tear
“Brother hans will go again?”

“I’m sorry Marly, but I need to find and punish some of bad friend, okay? Once I catch and make them learn their lesson, we’ll back together, okay?”

“Promise me? You’ll be back? Okay?”
“Yes I promise”

This time when I leave the camp, it was not due to fear, it was choice, as I walk everyone sees me with smile, not fear like last time,

Month after month, I search everywhere, I manage to encounter them once for a while whether alone or as group, but never able to fully take them down, many months even years has pass, I haven’t still able to take down even one of them.
“I guess it’s very hard to do this alone, Kent and Erwin also really smart so trap didn’t really work well huh”

I also never found Tenebris and the rest of Grasscover camp member, I guess they didn’t make it.

After many years, I manage to corner 2 of them, it was Jin and Lily, eventually the battle become 6 vs 1 as their reinforcement arrive 1 by 1, after long fight I suffer many wounds and about to fall.

The sky shines bright, a gold light pierce through the cloud

There is someone above there

That person covered with golden armor, upon closer doesn’t looks like human

Her skin blue, looks like Alien, maybe one of those Vessi? But I can’t see any horn

She later materializes a large lance and launch an attack to 6 DesireWorker, as they fall, I ask who she are and why she doing this,

“My name is Rosca, I can’t tell you much about who I am, but I’ll have to expel these 6 from this place”

“You mean there is a way out? To real world”

“Yes? Would you like to go?”

“That can wait but these 6 is too dangerous to leave this place, they might “

“No problem, once they leave this place, they will lose all their memory of the time their spend here”

“I see, Wait does that mean”

“Yes, you too, but I’ll have your memory of her sealed away, you might regain it someday, but not right away and no guaranteed, it’s all depends on you”

“Wait why?”

“you’re forgot? You host tons of SoulForce, if you lose all of your memory now, the only remain is for you regress back being DesireWorker, due to your guilt”

“I see, I’ll be back just after diana .. , and I might back become DesireWorker huh? how did you know?”

“I’m sorry I can’t tell you just yet”

I went closer to haru unconscious body, I take her hat off, and pat her head

“I wish I can get close to you; I don’t know if I’ll ever remember this, but I want to properly apologize to you, I know I have no right to confess my feeling after all of these but. let me do that at least when you can’t hear me

Haru I love you, I want to get close to you”

As tear spilling from my eye, I heard a familiar voice

“it’s okay brother, no matter if you lose your memory, I’m sure you’ll meet her again, fall in love again, someday”

It was faint but it’s Celia voice, it was her tiny faint SoulForce I always heard, just before her death she passes a part of herself into me, which what saving me all this time

“Thank you, Celia,”

Rosca send the 6 into separate direction as she split the world into 6, she said that these 6 need to be placed on different parallel world in order to avoid their regression back into DesireWorker, she wouldn’t tell me, but I can sense she’s some kind of Celestial being, capable doing so

“Now it’s your turn, I’ll put you on the same world as Haru”

“I see, it’s goodbye for now to my memory, and Haru, I’ll meet you again on the other side one day”

Everything glow bright as I wrapped into orb of light. The next thing I remember is I wake up on the middle of nowhere, while the last thing I remember is I fall into orb with Diana.

Chapter Text

I woke up on some strange, ruined building, I immediately check my bag which has been lying in front of me

“Crushed argh”

Both my laptop and Tablet were crushed into pieces. I’ll have go get the new one, not sure if they still sold with all the chaos,

I check my phone only to see,

“Incorrect date and time? Hah? What is this, I need to set this manually, but how come it out of sync”

Anyway, I guess I’ll have to ignore that and check my surrounding, as I walk downstairs, I saw a huge wolf chasing a car, that seems a very big SoulJunk after that car, and suddenly a flash of golden light appears, and the car is getting away

“Wow. this place is nuts, better get going”

Once I downstair I was greeted by 3 SoulJunk that looks like dog, I immediately run away but eventually they surround me.

As one of them try to jump over me, I subconsciously, materialize my SoulWeapon, and slice them,

“Wait what where this sword came from, and … okay that’s unexpected, I never wield sword before. this is getting really strange”

I decided to use the sword to protect myself, strangely enough it feels natural for me to use the weapon, it feels like I already using it for years.

I saw a car parking with a man try to fix his car, I accidently drop the sword only to realize it was disappeared. I decided to come close to the man, hope he give me a ride.

“Excuse me sir, what are you doing? Can I help, I got lost and hoping u can bring me back to town”

“Nah it’s good I’m about to finish anyway, you’re lost, I see just take a seat, I’ll be there shortly”

I take a seat and saw an emblem that I never saw before, and so much stuff I never see, I think it’s rude to speak about it when he already gives u free ride, I decided to be silent until destination, he drop me on Rococo town, it was a nice place but the sky there is no longer blue

“Take care kid, see you around”

“Thank you, sir,”

I head to nearby ATM, it was worn out, but still functional, when I put my card, I am shocked when I saw the balance

“What the… How come this large amount of cash is here, I’ll have to check the mutation”

Upon checking I realize something crucial, the date, and the year as I know already 15 years passed since last time I remember.

“Ok this is not making any sense, but even I also can realize something off was off, this rococo town has so much soldier with emblem I never heard about, I guess I was sleeping for 15 years? This is really don’t make sense”

Ok after some time gathering information, I believe I know what is happen with the cash, basically it’s all of my family money moved by someone to my account after I fill out the paperwork around 15 years ago, also these army called Starry Forest League (SFL in short), some kind of big military organization formed post that apocalypse, to defend humanity against these strange alien, they also seems looking for people with supernatural power that feel from that void.

I think the best course now is to lying low while gathering more information, after all I don’t felt like joining the army and bound by military obligation, this will be difficult as legally speaking I’m 33 years old and my appearance is a 18 years old teenagers,

“Which mean I can’t get free shelter and food, tch pain as hell”

I decided to take a rest on nearby ruined building, while for food I’ll just get some from the shop that were still open.

One day I saw tons of people moving out as seems the city is no longer safe. I decided to blend in and able to join one of the transports moving to candus city, I think I just pull the short stick as the Candus city is not really a safe place, but they simply locate closer from rococo town.

After arriving the city, I found there is even more guarded, I think this place is more dangerous from the previous town. At town I saw a large office building with the company name familiar to me.

NED company huh? Wasn’t it being Diana father company, and the same company that requesting my sister blood sample? I think I still have that man business card somewhere. I doubt I can call him casually and show up with my appearance, but I think this is a good idea to get closer with this company.

“Normally I would already marry Diana and probably land job somewhere there, she’s my first love after… uh? I don’t think so, she said I have girlfriend, right?” as I talk to myself

It feels something was off, I remember that Diana said my girlfriend is died, but all I remember is she’s my first, maybe I just probably imagine thing. Then I saw this huge looking man speaking on phone and accidently heard him,

“…. I’ll get it ready Ms. Lexinton,”

“!!!!”
Lexinton was Diana family name, I never end up learning what happen to her, but if I can get more info, I might learn what happen to her, after all I am here awaken 15 years in future,

I decided to send an email of that business address that man left me on the business card it writes as follow

“Hello, my name is Hans Nerius, thank you for the other day

I’m looking information about people from Lexinton family, if you happen to have information to share, please let me know, it will be very helpful

Regards

Hans Nerius”

After few hours I receive a reply that they’ll agree to meet me tomorrow morning, they will have someone pick me up so I should wait at town plaza around 7 AM.

Next morning, I already waiting 30 minutes earlier, this was just my habbit when dealing with business people we should avoid being late, after few minutes someone approach me, a girl around my age?

“Good morning, uhm Hans is that you?”

A young girl with short hair, I never really heard her before, she wears a white jacket with SFL emblem, it’s seems she’s from SFL.

“Good morning, yes it’s me hans, are you the one that will pick me up”
“no I was just see you there, and say hello, I’m surprise you haven’t changed at all, did you come out from the Void too?”

“Do I know you?”

“ehh? Hans it’s me haru, we’re classmate remember?”

“Really, I can’t recall anything, sorry”

“… okay, I guess I have to go, see you around hans”

“See you”

She seems disappointed for some reason, but I don’t think I know her, even if I do, we weren’t that close for me to remember her.

“is he mad at me?” as haru whisper to herself while walking away, a few minutes later a man with black suit came to pick me up with a car

We eventually arrive in some kind of old mansion; it feels like has been abandoned.

“This is the place right?”

“Yes, someone will text you shortly” as that man back to the car and suddenly drive away

“HEH? He left me all alone on this strange place?”

Suddenly my phone ringing and text message come in, it told me to enter the mansion and enter the direction though underground, it seems there was a lab that still being used.

As I arrive at the metal door open and far from behind, I saw someone looking at the monitor, the lab is full of testing tube, I can’t see what’s inside, but something definitely is in there.

As I approach that person, I got a clear view of how she looks,

She’s around 30 I guess, but her hair partially white, she has pale skin and some sign of lack of sleep

“I found you at last”

As she suddenly hugs me, and crying.

“What, let me go”

“Hans what’s wrong, did you forget about me?”

After got a glimpse of her face, I instantly know who she is, she’s broken but I’ll never forgot her face

“Diana !!”

“I’m happy you remember me hehehehe”

“What happen to you?”

“I manage to survive that incident, but you were nowhere to be found, all we have is remaining of your blood, I tried so hard and after tons of research we finally know how to bring you back, hehehehe, I was still doing some adjustment, then you reach me out what a blessing it is”

That creppy smile, she’s clearly broken and went insane after that incident, but I felt something else, something not human in her.

“Come Hans, this is the drug I made, it will turn human into SoulJunk while retaining their Ego”
“SoulJunk!!”

“Yes SoulJunk, they can live long, regenerate lost organ and such, we will never be separated again, not anymore, join me Hans and we will be together, forever”

As she said that part of her hand turn into claw, as she extends her hand and manage to grab me, I as I struggle, she keeps pulling me in.

“Why struggle hans, we’ll be together right forever hahahahaha”

Subconsciously I materialize my SoulWeapon and cut her hand off.

“That’s hurt hans, but no worry as you see it can regenerate”

Out of panic, I break the door and run away, only to found that the place is infested by SoulJunk, there is no way out, but I decided to find safer place to hide.

This is terrible, the image of the girl that were supposed to be my wife were changed into hideous monster,

“This was all my fault, my poor judgement led to this, I’ll have to clean this up myself.”

As I made up my mind, I can feel power surging within me, for some reason I know that I can take her out.

I rush and break through wave of SoulJunk, cleaning them up in process, as I swing my sword, the sword glow blue as it infused with my power. Eventually I clean most of them and secure way out. Now all left is to take her out.

Before I even move, she already come out to face me,

“Ahh hans, such a Tragedy, you’re SoulWorker but don’t worry we will find a way”

As she morphs into spider like creature, it’s black spider, a black widow.

“I see, so that form is the manifestation on your loss, it’s okay I’m here, I’ll put end of this here and now”

In split second I charge into her and do 4 times multiple rotations then cut her head off, it was a clean cut giving her no way to regenerate

“Why… Hans… why h.aa”

“I’m sorry Diana, but it’s all over, goodbye”

As her body falls, I pick something up from her lab jacket, it was a pendant, when I open it, it has a Photo of me and her together during the camp.

“I see so all this time you held onto this”

I decided to burn her body away, SoulJunk body might be dangerous, it’s best to dispose it

“This is the end, I know you will never forgive me, my hand already far too dirty to be forgiven, still I’ll do what I can, as a SoulWorker, I’ll fight for humanity”

I can feel my determination changes my SoulForce within, it feels warm and brighter than ever before, I deciding to fight alone outside SFL cover and for those that they unable to save, it was a selfless journey but feels rewarding.

As I fight, I heard a rumor about new SoulWorker with outstanding achievement, Haru Estia she’s that girl with yellow hair that greet me on plaza that day, I still can’t remember her at all but I found a note within my phone, it write as follow

“If you read this and don’t understand it mean you lose your memory, Haru Estia is your classmate back in school, and you manage to save her at very end, if… one day ever she reach out for your help, please help her will all your strength, and maybe, just maybe you’ll regain your memory of her

Until next time we meet again, I hope you already regain your lost memory

Hans Nerius”

It’s written by me, locked with my facial recognition, with my signature on it,

There also a photo of me and Haru together on park attach on it.

“I see, until next time then Haru”

as the night come in the Grace city the stars show themselves in the clear night sky, as I gaze through the star, the possibility are endless, for humanity, for the future