Archive of Our Own

It happens, of course, during a Quidditch match.

It’s Slytherin versus Gryffindor, only the second match of the season. Gryffindor is down by ninety points and Heeseung had already called a time-out. “We need to narrow the gap or it won’t matter if I catch the Snitch,” he’d said, becoming increasingly irritated and distracted as Slytherin continues to score and Gryffindor falls further behind.

Sunghoon is just as annoyed. It’s Gryffindor’s first game of the season and the first always sets the tone for the rest of the year, which means that if Slytherin catches the Snitch their defeat will be utterly humiliating. Their only choice is that the Chasers step it up and score faster.

The match is brutal. It’s been two hours already, and despite the early November chill, the sun shines in Sunghoon’s eyes so brightly it hurts to see.

But he’s not the clumsy second year he was when he joined the team. There’s no time for hesitation, so Sunghoon makes a dive for the Quaffle and steals it from fright under the nose of a Slytherin third year, narrowly avoiding the Bludger aimed at the tail of his broomstick.

There’s a loud cheer from Gryffindor’s side of the pitch when Sunghoon scores, but he isn’t satisfied yet—for one reason in particular.

Sunghoon’s best friend, greatest rival, and Slytherin’s star Chaser, Sunoo, scores again before Sunghoon even has the chance to catch his breath. Slytherin and Gryffindor students alike erupt into chaos and Sunghoon scowls deeply, gripping his broom tightly. All Gryffindor needs is momentum, but Slytherin’s Chasers aren’t making that easy for them, and the team’s morale begins to slip as the match drags on.

On the other side of the arena, Heeseung is looking more glum by the moment. When they make eye contact, he shakes his head slightly. No Snitch. If he doesn’t spot it soon, Slytherin will. That means it’s up to Sunghoon to motivate the Chasers and score again as soon as possible. It's up to him to turn this around.

It’s not like Gryffindor won’t have opportunities to play against Slytherin again. They have another game scheduled just before the winter holidays, and another in the spring. If they don’t win today, they’ll work even harder to crush Slytherin in their next two games.

But it’s not just that. It’s also that every fiber of Sunghoon’s being is desperate to outscore Sunoo and prove that Gryffindor has the best Quidditch team Hogwarts has seen in decades. Sunghoon knows it for sure, Quidditch is it for him, but he only has two more years left to play at Hogwarts, with his best friends, without the added stress and trials of combining his passion with his career.

"Sunghoon!" He doesn't even have a chance to register whose voice is shouting at him before he frees his hands and reaches for the Quaffle tossed to him. He tucks the ball under his arms, leaning forward over his broom—and that's when it happens.

He drops it. He drops the Quaffle, the ball slipping from his grasp in a genuine fumble that he hasn't made in... how long? He's so shocked, trying to process his mistake, that he loses precious seconds, and the two Chasers closest to Sunghoon, both Slytherins, dive for the ball at the same time he does.

The younger of the two pulls up, realizing that it's a lost cause when Sunghoon whizzes by him. The second Chaser is Sunoo, who never backs down from a confrontation with Sunghoon, who takes Quidditch more seriously than almost anything.

Sunghoon's face stings from the wind lashing at his face and his lungs burn from exertion. He knows he's gaining speed too quickly, hurtling toward the ground so fast he's left himself almost no time to pull up in time, but he's so close.

But then he hears it, just above the whistling in his ears—an aborted shout, the collective gasp of those in the stands, and Sunghoon looks up just in time for Sunoo to crash into him with a sickening crunch, his broom shattered nearly in two with the force of impact from a Bludger undoubtedly aimed at him by one of Gryffindor's Beaters.

What happens next must take only a few seconds, but feels like hours to Sunghoon. Sunoo slams into him, still clinging to his battered broomstick, and Sunghoon plummets to the ground even faster. His instincts before his mind and he yanks his broom up, attempting to stabilize himself, but then he registers the scene in front of him, the way the crash has sent Sunoo careening toward the ground, broom far from functional, and he chokes on a scream as he dives after him.

Later, he’ll say he doesn’t remember the incident. That it all happened too fast, that he didn’t even have time to react. But it’s not true. He remembers every second of it. He remembers his desperation as he shot after Sunoo. He remembers his fear, so thick he could suffocate from it, so potent even in that split second that he was numb.

Sunghoon doesn’t reach him in time. Sunoo saves himself with a charm cast just before he hits the grass, softening the impact. Sunghoon lands not even a second later, followed by their Quidditch coach and Slytherin’s captain and Heeseung. “Sunoo!” Sunghoon cries as he stumbles off his broom. He kneels down in the damp grass by Sunoo’s head. Sunoo looks at him blearily. One of his arms is bent at an awkward angle and a wave of panic passes over Sunghoon.

There’s a ringing in Sunghoon’s ears, the harsh sound of whistles and cheering. The golden wings of the Snitch poke through Heeseung’s tightly clenched fist.

“Sunghoon?” Sunoo whispers, but Sunghoon’s relief at hearing his voice, that he isn’t unconscious, is dimmed by the slur in his voice.

He tries to sit up, but Slytherin's team captain immediately pushes him—gently—back down. "You have to be checked by a nurse before you can work," she says sternly.

Tears—of pain or frustration, Sunghoon doesn't know—rise in the corners of Sunoo's eyes. Sunghoon's hands twitch uselessly at his sides, not knowing if he should touch or what he can do to help. The referee examines Sunoo's arm, one of the nurses waiting on standby arrives and asks him where the pain is, and when Sunghoon attempts to stand and get out of the way, his knees wobble.

Heeseung's arm wraps around his waist. "Come on, Sunghoon," he urges. "Let's meet him at the hospital wing, okay? We're no use for him here."

Most of the other players have dismounted their broomsticks by now, milling awkwardly at the center of the Quidditch pitch and pointedly looking away from Sunoo. The Slytherins all appear subdued, a combination of their loss and their teammates injuries, while Gryffindor seem split between confusion and cautious celebration of the victory Heeseung had secured for them.

Quidditch injuries aren't at all uncommon. Over the years Sunghoon has watched teammates and opponents alike crash or break a bone on a Bludger or sustain bruises in a scuffle over the Quaffle, but it's never been like this.

It's never been his fault. It's never been Sunoo.

"That has to be a foul,” Sunghoon growls. He leans heavily against Heeseung as they exit the Quidditch pitch, trying to keep his knees from knocking together. "Right? He can't just—"

"It's not a foul," Heeseung says calmly, not at all fazed by Sunghoon's anger at, presumably, their own team. "It's Quidditch. It's okay, Sunghoon, he's going to be fine."

Fine? Sunghoon is too dizzy to process anything. He lets Heeseung guide him until they've entered the castle and he can stand on his own again. "It's my fault," he says dejectedly. "The Quaffle wasn't mine. I should have let him have it and he wouldn't have been in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Heeseung frowns deeply. "Anyone would have done the same, including Sunoo," he says. "He could have backed out too. It's nobody's fault."

At Heeseung's insistence, they stop at Gryffindor Tower first to shed their gear and change robes to avoid dirtying the hospital wing. Sunghoon changes as quickly as possible and then paces around the common room until Heeseung is ready to go. The atmosphere as fellow Gryffindors file in after the match is stifling. Sunghoon becomes more and more anxious every time he overhears their whispers, or an inquisitive look is pointed in his direction. The guilt he feels is the worst part, Sunghoon unable to take Heeseung's reassurances to heart.

The thing is—Sunghoon has been best friends with Sunoo since they were eleven years old and just starting their first year at Hogwarts. Sunoo approached Sunghoon on the Hogwarts Express and asked if they could be friends, and he's been pining after him ever since.

He doesn't know, of course. There's never exactly been a good time for Sunghoon to tell his best friend that he's deeply, irrevocably in love with him. And if there's any risk at all that their friendship could be damaged by his confession, he won't ever take that chance, even though their time at Hogwarts is dwindling.

Sunghoon practically races to the hospital wing, also at Heeseung's disapproval. "Are you sure you aren't in pain?" he asks, panting as they jog down the stairs. "You should let them examine you. Sunoo crashed into you pretty hard."

Sunghoon clenches his hands into fists so tightly his nails indent his palms. This isn't fair. It should be him in the hospital wing, not Sunoo. He should have done something more to help him even if it meant putting himself in danger.

A number of Slytherin students are crowded by the entrance of the hospital wing, but they step aside for Sunghoon and Heeseung, recognizing them immediately. Sunghoon falters as he reaches for the door, sick with guilt and shame. What if Sunoo is upset with him? What if he's more seriously injured than he'd looked on the Quidditch pitch? What if he can't play Quidditch again, or is held back in his studies, and hates Sunghoon forever because of it?

"Do you want to come back later?" Heeseung asks gently. It's the only motivation Sunghoon needs to take the step and open the door, his desire to make sure that his friend is okay far outweighing his shame at being the direct cause of him being injured.

Sunghoon doesn't like hospitals. He doesn't like medical settings period, and even the laid back atmosphere of Hogwarts's hospital wing makes him a little queasy more often than not. He hates the overpowering scent of disinfectant, he hates how clinical everything feels, he hates when nurses and doctors use words he doesn't understand to explain conditions that already scare him. Sunghoon had avoided the hospital wing as much as possible in his first five years at Hogwarts, even recruiting Sunoo to brew potions for him to cure mild ailments. 

The sight of Sunoo lying on one of the beds in the hospital wing, being attended to by the head matron, is enough to make Sunghoon want to run away again. Heeseung keeps a hand at his back, guiding him forward. Sunoo's bed is close to the entrance of the nearly-empty hospital wing, and Sunghoon can tell even from a distance that he's considerably more lucid than he had been on the Quidditch pitch, even though not more than a half hour must have passed. This makes him feel more hopeful—maybe it isn't as bad as he'd feared.

Sunoo spots Sunghoon right away. "Oh!" he says. He does his best to sit up against the mountain of pillows behind him, wincing and then quickly schooling his expression into something more neutral. "Sunghoon—"

"I'm so sorry," Sunghoon gushes, unable to hold it back anymore. He shoves his hands in his pockets, feeling hopelessly awkward, once again unable to do anything helpful. Sunoo's left arm is wrapped in a cast, several of his fingers on the same hand wrapped and bruised. One of his legs is propped up under the sheets, and his hair is pulled back from the ointment that had been applied to the long gash on the side of his face. Sunoo is looking at him with such pity he feels even more terrible. "I take full responsibility for what happened. I'll do anything to make it up to you, I'm so sorry."

Sunghoon is a horrible person. How could he ever be so careless as to hurt his friend so badly?

Sunoo glances at Heeseung. The nurse attending to him hands him what appears to be a potion, a bubbly blue liquid in a paper cup. "Why would I blame you? It was an accident. It was more the Bludger's fault than yours."

"But..." Sunghoon trails off, his lower lip trembling. It's probably not worth it to argue with Sunoo over this when he's in such a condition. "Are you okay? When can you leave?"

"Ah..." Sunoo's smile turns to a grimace. "In a couple days. I think. I hit my head hard and I might have a concussion..." This explains why the lights overhead are dimmed, and the dividers are up around his bed. Sunghoon opens his mouth to apologize again, but Sunoo shakes his head. "It's okay! I promise. I'll be back to Quidditch in a few weeks."

If Sunoo is spending more than a night in the hospital wing there must be something he isn't telling them. He remembers the first time Sunoo had needed to go to the hospital wing, in their first year, and how surprised he had been at how ailments and injuries are healed in the magical world. Recovery time is far longer in the Muggle world, apparently, so maybe Sunoo just doesn't understand what this means.

"Is there anything you need?" Heeseung asks, crouching down a bit to be more on Sunoo's level. "I can bring you whatever it is. Textbooks, or..."

"Um... Ni-ki can help you. He'll know," Sunoo says. Heeseung nods and leaves to find Ni-ki, Sunoo's friend and teammate. Then Sunoo turns back to Sunghoon, and they look at each other for a long moment. He sips at the potion and makes a face. "The most painful thing so far is drinking this," he says with a sigh.

There's no way that's true, but Sunghoon is hesitant to bring up what had happened on the Quidditch pitch. He remembers all too vividly how Sunoo had been suffering after the crash. He drags over a chair and sits beside Sunoo, resisting the urge to hold his hand. "What, uh..." He's not sure how to ask. Why does this feel so raw to him when Sunoo is the one hurting?

Thankfully, Sunoo picks up on what he'd been meaning to ask. "My arm is broken," he says. As predicted. Broken bones can be mended quickly, though. "And I sprained my ankle. We don't know how bad my concussion is, so we have to wait and see..."

Sunoo won't be able to return to class, then. He hates being behind on work, and it's going to be more difficult than ever for him to catch up in N.E.W.T. level classes. He's so brave, keeping such a positive attitude when he's probably already suffering so much physically. Having a broken bone healed at such a fast rate can be excruciating, and that's just his arm. Out of the two of them, he's the real Gryffindor. Sunghoon would be panicking so much by now if he was in Sunoo's position.

"Oh, and one of my ribs is cracked, but that'll be fixed by tomorrow morning—Sunghoon?"

Or worse, maybe he's putting on a brave face for Sunghoon, because he doesn't want him to worry about him even though he knows the accident is his fault. Sunoo's a better person than him, too. Sunghoon's more selfish; he might have lashed out at Sunoo, blaming him for his injuries, for not being able to play Quidditch for weeks, and Sunoo would forgive him without question, without even an apology.

"I—I have to go," Sunghoon stutters. His chair scrapes against the floor when he stands, and Sunoo flinches, the loud noise surely making his head hurt worse than it already is. "I'll be back, I just—"

Like the coward Sunghoon knows he is, he flees. He ducks around the dividers around Sunoo's bed and walks as fast as he can to the hospital wing doors, choking on his guilt.

He nearly slams into Ni-ki, who is carrying a precariously-stacked pile of books and quills. "Whoa," he says. "Are you okay?"

Sunghoon glances around. The hallway has nearly emptied by now, aside from Ni-ki and Heeseung. There's nobody but them to see how Sunghoon has completely broken down over how he has hurt Sunoo. “I’m sorry,” he croaks. His heart hammers away and he struggles to catch his breath.

“It’s fine.” Ni-ki’s eyebrows furrow with his confusion.

In Heeseung’s arms are other supplies: a change of robes, another few textbooks, a small pouch like the ones Sunoo explained to Sunghoon that Muggles carry around sometimes. “Why aren’t you with Sunoo?” he says, concern clear in his expression. “Did something happen?”

Sunghoon shakes his head, but then he hesitates. “I just—I don’t understand what happened,” he says hoarsely. “He’s so nonchalant about it, I don’t get it. I don’t know why he isn’t mad at me. He’s acting like he’s completely fine when he’s not.”

“It could have happened to any of us,” Heeseung points out. “He has a good outlook on things. He needs your support to get better.”

“You should be with him,” Ni-ki adds. “It’s the first thing he said when I saw him. That he wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Ni-ki is notoriously protective over those he’s close to, especially Sunoo. It should make Sunghoon feel better that Ni-ki has such faith in him, but instead he only feels confused, divided between having faith in his friends, who keep reassuring him that he isn’t to blame, and the intensity of his instinct to blame himself.

Sunghoon struggles to contain the shame bubbling up in his chest. “But… what happened? Was it a Bludger?”

“Well… yes,” Heeseung says. “But not the way you’re thinking.”

Ni-ki bites his lip. “It wasn’t supposed to hit Sunoo. It was Slytherin’s. If it’s aim hadn’t been off…”

The Bludger was meant for Sunghoon, then. But he wouldn’t have sustained major injuries. His prized possession, his broom, wouldn’t have been damaged beyond repair,

“Oh,” Sunghoon says quietly. He hadn’t thought it could be possible for him to be even more horrified at himself, but he is. He really should be the one bound to the hospital wing.

Heeseung pats his shoulder comfortingly. “Don’t dwell on it, okay? Sunoo wouldn’t want you to.”

And, like he'd said earlier, it’s Quidditch. The game he plans to dedicate his life to. He can’t let himself be this sensitive.

But it’s Sunoo.

Ni-ki nods enthusiastically. “He’s really worried about you.”

Sunghoon really shouldn’t have run out like he had. Sunoo is probably even more worried now, and he shouldn’t be expending energy fretting over Sunghoon when he has a difficult recovery ahead of him. He sighs, mostly frustrated at himself. “Let me help you with that,” he says to Ni-ki, who looks slightly pained with the weight of Sunoo’s belongings—which he likely won’t make much use of anyway, depending on the severity of his concussion.

Sunghoon hangs behind Heeseung and Ni-ki this time, a little embarrassed, and far more unsure of himself than before.

Sunoo is busy saying goodbye to Jungwon, a close Hufflepuff friend of his, whom Sunghoon hadn’t even noticed come in. Even now, Sunoo’s gaze softens when he catches Sunghoon’s eye. Even though he always craves his affection, even though it makes him feel like fireworks are bursting in his chest, he doesn’t think he deserves it.

Sunghoon, Heeseung, and Ni-ki carefully arrange Sunoo’s belongings at the foot of his bed, per his wishes, although Sunghoon isn’t sure that he’ll be allowed to do much of anything with his concussion. “I’ll come back tomorrow,” Jungwon promises Sunoo. “But I can be here anytime you need me, okay?”

Sunoo nods, his eyes misty, but he blinks away his tears when Jungwon bends down to give him a quick hug. Maybe he’s in more pain than he’s letting on, maybe he’s also feeling guilty, and maybe the accident was Sunghoon’s fault. But for now Sunghoon needs to be strong for Sunoo, no matter his anger at himself or his feelings for him.

When Jungwon leaves, Heeseung speaks with Sunoo, explaining everything he and Ni-ki brought him and pledging to help him in any way he can. For the first time since the accident, Ni-ki appears to be distressed, the more he looks at Sunoo, bruised and bandaged and somewhat subdued, at least for his usual attitude. Sunoo glances at Sunghoon a few times, and Sunghoon feels increasingly impatient to talk to him until Heeseung eventually suggests, his intentions not at all unclear, that he and Ni-ki head to the Great Hall for dinner.

“I’m sorry,” Sunghoon says again, as soon as they’re alone, before Sunoo can say anything. This time, Sunoo doesn’t protest his apology. He knows what it’s for. He holds out his good arm, inviting Sunghoon in for a hug. He kneels one knee against the bed and hugs Sunoo back as tightly as he dares. He tucks his face against the side of his neck and breathes in deeply. “I’m so sorry. I’m not going to leave you again.”

Sunoo laughs and strokes Sunghoon’s hair. “Well, you might have to at some point. I don’t think they’ll let you stay here overnight. But I suppose it’s just as good if you come back in the morning.”

Sunghoon doesn’t leave until long after dark, after he’s started to fall asleep with his head in Sunoo’s lap. A nurse has come to check on the progress of Sunoo’s arm and she allows Sunghoon to stay long enough for him to hold his hand as the painful side effects of the potion he’s been given to cure it. It’s against school rules for him to sleep in the hospital wing overnight, so he hugs Sunoo until the nurses scold him.

Heeseung mumbles softly in his sleep when Sunghoon bypasses the sixth year dorms and slips into bed with him. The mattress is so small their limbs tangle together, but Heeseung’s warmth and the steady thump of his heartbeat under Sunghoon’s palm calm him just enough for him to doze off in a fretful sleep.

The next morning, Sunghoon finds it impossible to think about anything but Sunoo.

It’s a Saturday, thankfully, so he doesn’t have classes to worry about, although he’s starting to think that structured time would help, because no matter what he does, it feels like every spare moment he has he spends worrying about Sunoo.

He wakes up that morning sweaty and stiff from being glued to Heeseung all night, and even though Heeseung must feel the same way, he buries his nose in the nape of Sunghoon’s neck and waddles around with him as they get ready for the day, and then sits by his side in the Great Hall to make sure he eats breakfast.

Jungwon and Ni-ki join them in the Great Hall, each of them openly stealing food from Heeseung and Sunghoon’s plates until they’re more or less sharing their entire meals with each other. Ni-ki is all sprawled over Heeseung’s lap like he used to do when he was a first year and not only a centimeter or two away from surpassing him in height like some kind of overgrown puppy.

Nobody questions why a Hufflepuff and Slytherin are eating at the Gryffindor table like it’s their own, but it’s not like anyone questions it when it’s Jay or Jake or Sunoo either. Houses don’t really matter as much as they used to, and they certainly don’t when it comes to their friend group.

Sunghoon finds himself wondering if Sunoo is eating well in the hospital wing, or if the potions he’s taking are making him too nauseous to eat like they had been last night. Then Ni-ki distracts him with his retelling of yesterday’s Care of Magical Creatures class, where he’d gotten to take care of a unicorn mare and her tiny golden foal.

 After breakfast is supposed to be Quidditch practice, but Heeseung calls it off both as a reward for the game won—despite the fact that he had saved the team by catching the Snitch, even though that meant that they accumulated less points—and because of Sunoo’s accident. On a normal day, Sunghoon would gather a few of his friends and practice on his own, but today the thought of playing Quidditch is quite possibly the least appealing thing he can think of.

Really, all Sunghoon wants to do is see Sunoo, but visiting hours in the hospital wing don’t begin for another hour, so he resigns himself to studying in the library instead. He heads to the back of the library, where he won’t be bothered, and finds an empty table to set up his study materials at.

It’s impossible to focus, of course. The library usually has a perfect environment for studying, most sections completely silent except for the scratching of quills on parchment. But Sunghoon’s essay on the role of Inferi in the First Wizarding War doesn’t feel that important anymore after his friend had come so close to death yesterday.

Sunghoon closes his book and tips back his chair to look up at the ceiling. The essay clearly isn’t working. He’d be of more use basically anywhere else—helping Ni-ki study for his upcoming Care of Magical Creatures exam, on the Quidditch pitch, even.

And with Sunoo. Being a good friend. Not letting his feelings get in the way.

“Hey, Sunghoon.” Sunghoon nearly falls out of his chair when Jake pulls up a chair next to him. He grins wolfishly. “Heeseung told me you might be here.”

“I was thinking about leaving,” Sunghoon says. “I can’t concentrate. I haven’t gotten anything done.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” Jake squints at Sunghoon’s nearly illegible handwriting. “Defense Against the Dark Arts? I just finished that one.”

“It’s not due for another week.” Sunghoon shakes his head in disbelief. Typical Jake; he thinks an extra course in Magical Theory is a fun extracurricular even though he’s already taking seven N.E.W.T. level classes. “The only way it’s getting done today is if you write it for me.”

Jake snorts. He sets his copy of New Theory of Numerology down and tugs a roll of parchment free from the pages. “I think our professor would be able to tell if I did. Sorry, Sunghoon. But I can keep you company, at least.”

Jake’s cool like that. He has that kind of comforting, but occasionally unhinged energy that Sunghoon often finds himself drawn to. They used to clash, in the beginning, because they were so much like each other, but he’s the closest thing to a soulmate Sunghoon knows.

He gets Quidditch, too. Maybe if he wasn’t so drawn to academics he’d be pursuing it like Sunghoon, but they’ve more or less sworn to live vicariously through each other and get the best of both worlds that way.

Being with Jake helps for a while, because they've perfected the art of working in companionable silence, and Sunghoon would feel guilty if he slacked off with Jake making an obvious attempt to help him stay motivated. He makes it through most of his Defense Against the Dark Arts assignment before his concentration starts to waver again, and Jake looks at him gently and says, "Want me to walk you to the hospital wing?"

They stop at Gryffindor Tower first, Sunghoon picking up Home Life and Social Habits of Muggles and a new roll of parchment, and assuring Jake that he'll at least attempt to complete his assignments. "Just for you," he says. "So you won't be horrified when I arrive at Transfiguration on Monday with no idea of what we're doing."

But it's not like Jake would really chide him for that, not after the weekend he's had so far. Doing his best to distract Sunghoon is how he shows he cares. "Hey," he says, stopping Sunghoon just before they reach the hospital wing. "If you want to talk about what happened yesterday, you can, okay?"

It's been a long time since they've had such serious conversations with each other. It makes Sunghoon unexpectedly emotional. "I know," he says. Jake offers his hand for a fist bump. Casual, comforting, and very Jake. Sunghoon adds, "Thank you," and knows that he understands the depth of his words.

The head matron doesn't look at all surprised to see Sunghoon again, not after how long he'd stayed last night, but all she does is warn him that "He's napping, so try not to wake him up before lunchtime."

Sunghoon quietly slips between the dividers blocking Sunoo's bed from the rest of the hospital wing and sits in the chair by his bedside table. Sunoo looks vulnerable in sleep. Sunghoon's stomach twists into knots. After a night of sleep his guilt isn't as bad as it was yesterday, but he still wishes that it were him that had gotten hurt rather than Sunoo.

But he will admit that he looks better than yesterday. The cast on his arm has been replaced with a lighter brace, likely there more as a preventative than anything. The scrapes and bruises that had been so visible yesterday have faded, and Sunghoon can almost pretend like he hadn't been so certain yesterday, for one of the most terrifying moments of his life, that Sunoo could have died.

Sunghoon sighs. He props his book up against his legs and gets started on his next essay, cursing himself for putting off his homework until the weekend. He'd procrastinated all week, getting a few hours of extra practice in for yesterday's match rather than studying. His excuse is that Quidditch is his priority, technically, but he'd made a promise to himself that he would finish out his last two years at Hogwarts with a few N.E.W.T.s under his belt, just in case.

Just in case something happened. Just in case he was injured.

"Sunghoon? You're here?" Sunoo's voice is groggy with sleep. He rubs at his eyes and sits up, brightening when Sunghoon nods and pulls his chair closer. "Were you waiting long?"

Sunghoon shakes his head. "You know I'd wait for you. How do you feel?"

"Better than yesterday," Sunoo says, yawning. "It's really only my head that hurts now. Not bad! I'm already bored of sitting around."

"I was bored too," Sunghoon says. Sunoo tilts his head, confused. “Without you around. We always spend weekends together.”

Sunoo lies back against his pillows. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters. But… do you have work to do? You don’t have to stay.”

“I’m staying,” Sunghoon says decisively. “I couldn’t focus in the library. I had to see you.”

Sunoo’s eyes widen. “I missed you,” he murmurs, “even though it was only a day.”

For some reason, he looks strangely sad about this, which breaks Sunghoon’s heart. Just a bit. “I missed you, too.” Sunghoon reaches out and squeezes Sunoo’s hand, the one without bandages. With Sunoo’s smile, he returns to his Muggle Studies essay, Sunoo watching him with half-lidded eyes, sleepy and more relaxed than before.

They talk softly for an hour before Sunoo starts to doze off. Sunghoon smiles fondly and continues working on his essay. He hasn’t been able to breathe so deeply or think so clearly since the accident. Just having Sunoo nearby makes him feel better, as if it’s helping ease his pain to be close to each other.

Sunoo wakes up again shortly after Sunghoon has finished his Defense Against the Dark Arts essay and moved on to a Muggle Studies assignment. “I don’t think I’ll be able to finish that on time,” he says, frowning. “I’ll have to get an extension if I’m not allowed to read.”

“I’ll do it for you,” Sunghoon says immediately, not even looking up from his parchment. “What’s your topic? I’ll have it done tomorrow.”

Sunoo giggles. “I can’t let you do that.”

“I really will,” Sunghoon says. He sets his quill and parchment to the side. “Anything you need, I mean it.”

They lapse into silence again. Sunoo looks like he wants to say something but doesn’t, like he's waiting for Sunghoon to speak instead. Sunghoon can’t remember a time when they’ve been so awkward, waiting for each other to speak, since they’d first met—and even then Sunoo had taken the lead. 

Sunghoon swallows hard. There’s a lot that’s been left unsaid between them, hasn’t there?

"I don't know how to ask," he says slowly. He fiddles with the end of his parchment, worrying at the edges until the corner begins to tear. "Are... you okay? Not physically, I mean..." The words catch at the back of his throat. He whispers, "Weren't you scared?"

Sunoo doesn't answer right away, thinking deeply about Sunghoon's question, which makes him feel better. He's not sacrificing honesty to make Sunghoon feel better. "Maybe a little," he admits after a long pause. "But it all happened so fast. I didn't have time to think. And then you were there. I couldn't be scared if you were there."

“Sunoo,” Sunghoon breathes. It’s as if all the tension in his body, built up over the past day full of pain and fear and anxiety, leaves all at once. Sunoo really might make him cry. “You know I…”

You know I love you, right? It would be so easy to say. It’s not like they’ve never said I love you to each other, but Sunghoon is terrified that, if he said it, Sunoo would be able to tell that there’s more behind it now.

“I know,” Sunoo says. He smiles reassuringly and Sunghoon takes a deep breath.

Crisis averted—for now.

Sunoo insists that Sunghoon shouldn't spend his entire weekend in the hospital wing, and, after a few hours in the dark, inhaling the fumes of herbal concoctions, Sunghoon finds himself drawn to agreeing. He feels bad for Sunoo, who must be even more bored without him, but he tells Sunghoon that Jungwon and Jay promised to eat dinner with him, so he won't be alone for long.

He eats dinner with Heeseung and Ni-ki and Jake, Ni-ki talking animatedly about the advanced flying techniques Heeseung practiced with him today. “I would've joined you!” Sunghoon says. He pokes dejectedly at his sausages.

Heeseung pats his shoulder. “No, you wouldn't,” he says, at the same time Ni-ki suggests, “Maybe tomorrow?”

Sunghoon reaches over and ruffles his hair. “Maybe tomorrow.” Heeseung's right; he wasn't up for Quidditch practice today, but it's cute to see Heeseung and Ni-ki getting along so well. Heeseung seems to have taken it upon himself to mentor him, and Ni-ki is already terrifyingly good at Quidditch for his age.

Jake turns to Sunghoon. “I didn't get a chance to ask you yet, but Jay and I are going to hang out at the Astronomy Tower tonight. I have a star chart to finish. You in?”

“There's a reason I quit Astronomy,” Sunghoon grumbles.

Jake grins, knowing he isn't serious. “You know it's just an excuse to stay up late and talk outside of our dorms,” he says. “Heeseung's got Head Boy duties in the morning and convinced the kids out of coming so it's just us.”

“I'm not a kid,” Ni-ki says, scowling.

“That's a good thing for Ni-ki and Jungwon,” Heeseung sniffs. “I don't know how you two are prefects.”

“Well, I'm in,” Sunghoon says, just to rebel. And it's like what Sunoo said earlier, that he can't spend his whole weekend in the hospital wing even though he wants to. “Ten like usual?”

Jake nods. He leaves dinner early, mumbling awkwardly about checking a potion he left to simmer, although no one buys his excuse.

Sunghoon has a few hours to himself after that, wandering listlessly around the castle before eventually going to lounge in the Gryffindor Common Room. He's the type of person who likes to stay occupied, but without homework to get ahead on and his friends scattered and busy with their own projects, he's weary and a little lonely, although he resolves not to let himself linger on anxious thoughts.

He heads for the Astronomy tower a few minutes early. It's colder at night, the brisk November air making his nose and ears redden. The long climb up the steps of the tower leaves him winded. He crosses his arms and grits his teeth to keep them from chattering.

The top of the Astronomy Tower is bright with moonlight, but Sunghoon still has to squint into the darkness to find his friends. He'd expected Jake to be at one of the telescopes scattered around the perimeter of the tower, but he isn't within sight.

Instead, Sunghoon spots a dark blob in a shadowy corner of the tower. He steps closer, cautious—and flinches when he hears a yelp and Jay's face appears, no longer concealed by the blanket wrapped around him. Jake crawls out from under it, seemingly flustered as he tugs away the fabric caught around his legs.

“Hey,” Sunghoon says nonchalantly. He sits down on the cold floor, forming a circle between the three of them. Jay offers him a corner of his blanket. “What's up?”

Even in the relative darkness the blush on Jake's cheeks is visible. “We were just waiting for you,” he says. His voice squeaks on the last word. “Jay was helping me with my star chart.”

“Jay failed his Astronomy O.W.L.,” Sunghoon says. “And he copied all of our assignments in fifth year.”

Jay flushes now, too. “I almost passed!” he exclaims indignantly. “I was just busy! Focusing on other things!”

If Sunghoon had to guess, he would also say that he and Jake have been focusing on other things tonight as well. “Anyway,” Jake says, “it’s been too long since we had a chance to talk like this, just the three of us.”

Jay is a year above them in school, but he was born in the same year as them. Even though he’s closer in age to Heeseung, they share a special bond as a trio too. They used to spend long nights staying up late and talking about anything and everything, but at some point their lives had become so entwined with each other’s, even over summer breaks, that allocating time to catch up on each other’s lives was no longer necessary.

But Sunghoon misses talking like this sometimes. It’s not like they never do, but they usually talk among themselves in pairs instead. It scares Sunghoon sometimes to think that one day they won’t be able to see each other so readily, especially after Heeseung and Jay graduate and each of their friends take separate paths in their careers.

If he has any say in it, though, he won’t let that happen. He loves each of them too much, and can’t imagine a future in which they don’t play a significant role in his life.

“Yeah,” Jay says with a sigh. “There’s something I think we all have on our minds tonight.”

“Sunoo,” Sunghoon says. Maybe it’s easier to say in the dark, maybe it’s the welcoming atmosphere Sunghoon always feels around Jay and Jake, but he doesn’t hesitate at all before saying, “I don’t know why I can’t let it go, but I can’t stop thinking that I’m responsible for the pain he’s in. Or feeling like something bad is going to happen and he won’t heal the way he’s supposed to.”

Jake nods understandingly. “Watching from the stands… we didn’t have time to process what happened. But you were right there. It makes sense that you’re more shaken by it.”

“You shouldn't worry too much about him,” Jay reassures him. “He's healing well, isn't he? Or are you worried that he hasn't forgiven you? Because I'm pretty sure he's done that too.”

“He'll be good to go in a week or so and it'll be like nothing happened,” Jake says. He shivers and moves closer to Jay. “No time lost. Or is it something else?”

Sunghoon knows all of ths, but there’s still a nagging feeling at the back of his mind that everything that has happened is something more important. He's had a lot of time over the past two days to think about why he's so upset about Sunoo's accident, so specifically upset about it being him who had gotten hurt, and he doesn't really have an answer. It's not like life has come to a complete halt while Sunoo recovers, or like Sunghoon isn't expected to go on with his daily life like nothing happened.

In the grand scheme of things, it could have been a lot worse. He’s witnessed much worse, and he’d learned from each of those experiences—especially that accidents such as this and injuries that might scare away a casual Quidditch fan haven’t deterred him from his goal. Are they intimidating? Of course. But what he feels about Sunoo’s accident doesn’t have anything to do with his conviction to pursue Quidditch professionally. It’s something different.

“I don’t like seeing him hurt, but it’s more than that,” Sunghoon says. Despite the way Jake and Jay are looking at him encouragingly, it still feels like his stomach has twisted into knots. “I didn’t expect something like that to happen to any of us. It was like being shocked back to reality after being so dazed by the happiness and comfort I feel being here with all of you. Even during the game, no matter how much I wanted to win, I felt at peace because I knew everything would work out. So seeing him like this… it’s made me think about how we won’t always have that security.”

Both of his friends remain silent, waiting for him to continue, considering his words. Wind whistles across the tower and rustles Jake’s star chart. Sunghoon’s hands have started to shake. He stuffs them under the blanket to warm himself up.

"I won't be able to play against him or you two forever. I know, we can fool around on our own, but it won't be the same," he continues, more quietly now. It's the first time he's admitted that he has these thoughts out loud, and it already feels as though a great weight has been lifted from his shoulders, even though he stumbles over the words and he hates that by saying his worries out loud it feels like he’s making them even more real. "We aren't going to be at Hogwarts forever. It just feels like time is running out. I want to make the most of it."

Jay bites his lip and combs back his hair with his fingers. "I feel the same way," he says roughly. "It's already my seventh year. I had the same worries in my sixth year, but I ignored it. And a lot has happened since then. I've only grown more attached to you, and to Hogwarts, since then."

Jake averts his eyes and looks down at his hands. Sunghoon instinctively reaches out and squeezes one of them.

Jay takes a deep breath. "But I can tell you that if you spend all your time worrying about missing something when it's gone, you won't be able to enjoy the time you have with it," he says. "And yeah... there are better things coming for all of us, but that doesn't mean we won't miss the times we had together here. So we should enjoy them while we can so we'll have these memories to treasure later on."

Sunghoon doesn’t cry in front of his friends as a rule. He’d much rather be the one comforting them, even though they always chide him for this. But at Jay’s words, tears well up in his eyes.

“Hey there, don’t cry,” Jay says, likely intending to sound teasing, but it comes off as much softer instead. When Sunghoon looks up, he sees that Jake is also on the verge of crying. Jay tugs him close and encourages him to lay back so Jake rests his head against Jay’s shoulder.

“We’re going to miss you,” Jake says. He sniffles, wipes his eyes, and attempts to look brave. “Let’s only make good memories from now on.”

“Seconding this,” Sunghoon says, the only thing he can manage with the storm of emotions brewing inside him.

“It’s not like I’m dying. I’m not going anywhere; not really.” Jay laughs, diffusing some of the tension around them. “I feel bad, I didn’t mean to make this so depressing,” he says. His eyes sparkle. “Ya know, Sunghoon… Is that all you wanted to tell us about Sunoo?”

“We aren’t going there right now,” Sunghoon growls.

Jake perks up, lifting his head from Jay’s shoulder. “Oh, so there is a thing?”

“Not a thing!” Sunghoon insists. He narrows his eyes. “Unless you have a thing.”

Jake splutters incoherently just as he had earlier, yanking away the blanket and climbing to his feet as fast as possible to evade Sunghoon’s questions. Despite the serious conversation, Sunghoon feels himself smile involuntarily, chest swelling with love and pride and warmth far stronger than the early winter chill.

To make it clear: Sunghoon doesn’t have a sweet tooth. Sure, he’ll indulge when he’s in the mood, or on a special occasion, but it’s more out of principle than that he really craves the confections his friends enjoy.

That’s probably why Heeseung seems so surprised when he arrives at the Three Broomsticks with an armful of purchases from Honeydukes. “What, did you turn into Jay?” he jokes, pulling a honey-flavored lollipop off the top of the stack and examining it. “Are you in need of comfort? Do you need a hug?”

Sunghoon rolls his eyes, ignoring Heeseung and addressing the bartender instead. “Two butterbeers to go, please.”

“Really, I’m worried,” Heeseung says. “Are you okay?”

“They aren’t for me,” Sunghoon explains. He sets his bag down on the counter. “I mean, maybe a little, but no way. You can have some if you want.”

“Ohh. For Sunoo, then.” Heeseung snaps open the top of the honey stick and sucks on it. “Wow, I don’t know how Jay does it.”

Sunghoon laughs. The bartender sets the two drinks—the travel mugs charmed to keep them warm—down in front of him. Sunghoon murmurs his thanks and sets the correct number of coins down on the counter. “What’re you doing here all alone?” he asks Heeseung. “Didn’t Jay and Jake come to Hogsmeade this weekend too?”

Heeseung sighs. “Yeah, but they’re on a date. Or whatever they call it so we think they aren’t totally smitten with each other.”

“And you?” Sunghoon’s eyes widen as he makes the realization. “You’re on a date.”

Heeseung’s honey stick falls from his lips. “Where’d you get that from?”

His carefully-styled hair, the gloss on his lips that isn’t from the honey. “You haven’t ordered yet and you’ve obviously been here for a while,” Sunghoon says instead. Heeseung sighs in defeat. “When’s he going to get here? I should probably leave, huh?”

“You don’t have to,” Heeseung says sheepishly. “You can say hi if you want.”

“Next time tell me before I order,” Sunghoon says. He loops the handle of his Honeydukes bag around his arm and scoops up his tray of drinks. “I should get this to Sunoo.”

Heeseung smiles affectionately as he waves him away, and Sunghoon returns to Hogwarts with an extra bounce in his step. Yesterday Sunoo had expressed sadness that he would miss this Hogsmeade weekend, seeing as they had plans together, so Sunghoon decided to make a short trip to bring Hogsmeade to him.

It’s Sunoo’s last day in the hospital wing, but Sunghoon is still ordered not to be too boisterous around him while he’s recovering from his head injury. Sunghoon can’t help the way he smiles involuntarily as he makes his way to Sunoo’s bed. There’s always that fluttery feeling in his chest when he gets to spend time with him, and excitement thrums through him at the thought that he’s done something special for him, something good.

He likes Sunoo so much. Maybe more than he should. But he can’t help it, Sunoo makes him happy like nobody else can, like he’s floating on clouds, like everything will be okay.

Sunoo breaks into a huge grin when he sees Sunghoon. He’s sitting with his legs crossed on his bed, flipping through Herbology notes. Sunghoon hands him his butterbeer. “You shouldn’t have,” he squeaks.

“You shouldn’t be studying,” Sunghoon scolds. “And I wanted to. You should look at what I brought instead.”

Sunghoon would pretty much do anything to see Sunoo as happy as he is now. But he won’t say that. He’s liked Sunoo for so long it practically feels like a part of who he is. Sunoo and Sunghoon. They’re a pair, and Sunghoon doesn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.

But even as he thinks it, he remembers Jay’s words from last night. He’s spent nearly five years pining after Sunoo. They’ll be friends after Hogwarts, of course… but Jay would encourage him to make the most of his last two years here. And to make sure that they won’t grow apart after graduation.

“You’re amazing, Sunghoon,” Sunoo marvels as he goes through the bag, snapping Sunghoon out of his thoughts. Fizzing Whizzbees, Peppermint Toads, Sugar Quills—Sunghoon had bought a few of Sunoo’s favorites and then a bit of everything, unsure of what Sunoo might be craving.

It’s true—Sunghoon doesn’t have a sweet tooth. But he does admire the fact that Sunoo is so knowledgeable about food. He always had a passion for it, sure, but this passion had evolved after he’d aced his Herbology and Potions O.W.L.s, into something more like potential for a career.

“It’s nothing,” Sunghoon says modestly. I just wanted to make you happy. It wasn’t a lot for me to want that.

Sunoo beams. “You love me.”

“Mhm.” Sunghoon hides his smile behind his butterbeer. He’s told his friends he loves them before, but it still makes him giddy whenever he and Sunoo say it. “Is there anything else you need? Real food? Water? More pillows?”

“You don’t have to worry so much about me,” Sunoo says, but he’s still smiling. “I’m being discharged tomorrow morning.”

“And then Ni-ki will be taking care of you,” Sunghoon says, raising his eyebrows. Not for the first time, he wishes that they were in the same house—although Ni-ki is highly capable for a thirteen-year-old, and fiercely protective of his friends.

“You’ll always take care of me,” Sunoo teases. He sips at his butterbeer and pats the empty space on the bed next to him, inviting Sunghoon to sit with him. “But really, you’ve done more than I could have asked for. Thank you.”

Sunghoon flushes and hops up on Sunoo’s bed. “You don’t have to thank me.”

“Just let me.” Sunoo sets his butterbeer aside and opens a box of Peppermint Toads. He offers one to Sunghoon. “How was Hogsmeade? Did you go alone?”

“Hah, funny story actually,” Sunghoon says. “I found Heeseung all alone at the Three Broomsticks. He said that Jay and Jake were out on a date.”

“Ooh!!” Sunoo squeals. He bites off the head of his Peppermint Toad.  “They finally realized their feelings for each other, huh?”

Sunghoon smirks. “You should have seen them cuddled up at the Astronomy Tower last night.”

Sunoo laughs. “Wait, but why was Heeseung alone?”

Sunghoon leans forward into Sunoo’s space as if he’s about to tell him a secret. His Peppermint Toad squirms in his grasp. “He was also on a date. Waiting for his date, to be exact.”

“Noooooo,” Sunoo moans, throwing his head back. “They were all on dates while I was stuck here? Nooo.”

“Five and a half years at Hogwarts and no one’s ever taken me to Madam Puddifoot’s,” Sunghoon gripes.

Sunoo blinks. “I didn’t know you were interested in that sort of thing.”

Sunghoon shrugs away his embarrassment. Tea shops aren’t exactly the picture of masculinity, not that he or Sunoo really care about that sort of thing. “Nobody would want to take me there.”

“Are you kidding?” Sunoo sits straight up, speaking passionately. “You could have anyone you wanted, Sunghoon. Anyone I know would be willing to take you on a date.”

But there’s only one person I like, Sunghoon thinks helplessly. It’s you.

Sunoo must see the doubt in Sunghoon’s expression, because he continues on energetically, saying, “Seriously. You're kind and take care of people and it’s important even though you don’t make a big deal out of it. You’re funny and easy to talk to. You’re the most handsome person I know, too, not that that’s a requirement, but you shine inside and out.”

Oh. That’s… new. Sunoo is always liberal with comments but he’s never been like this, so blatantly borderline-flirty, and Sunghoon takes a moment to wonder if it’s even real. It’s not at all unwelcome—quite the opposite, it’s exactly what he wishes he could do but doesn’t have the courage for, and now Sunoo’s taken the lead and given him a clear path to what he’s wanted for so long.

He must be dreaming. “You’re the most beautiful person I know,” Sunghoon says quietly, before he loses his nerve, before it sinks in that they’re doing this, that he desperately wants to lay his feelings bare for Sunoo. “You’re all of those things and more. Anyone would be lucky to…” Love you? That’s true, but too much. Date you? “To be with you. I admire you so much.”

Now they’re both blushing, unable to make eye contact with each other. “Well,” Sunghoon says in an attempt to lighten the mood, “if Heeseung could figure things out with Yeonjun, maybe I should have more faith in myself.”

“Precisely,” Sunoo says. Satisfied, he pulls Sunghoon close for a hug, and they collapse in a fit of laughter when the last of the Peppermint Toads makes an escape from the box and hops across Sunoo’s bed.

Sunghoon spends the rest of the afternoon dozing off with his head in Sunoo’s lap and Sunoo’s fingers combing through his hair, each moment passing in utter bliss and contentment that he knows his heart will never quite be able to give up.

Bright and early on Monday morning, Sunghoon arrives to Potions class to see Sunoo setting up his ingredients for the day’s assignments at their shared desk. He stalks over to him and says, “Sunoo, you aren’t supposed to be in class with your concussion.”

“It’s just Potions!” Sunoo protests. He shields his cauldron with his arm before Sunghoon can start packing his things back up. “I can be in class if I feel okay, I just have to know my limits! And I promise I won’t do too much reading and I won’t take notes—actually, Sunghoon—”

He sighs. He isn’t actually annoyed. “I’ll take notes for you.”

Sunoo sticks true to his word and doesn’t strain himself in his classes. Sunghoon reminds him a few times, unable to keep himself from worrying about him, and every time he only smiles and tells Sunghoon that he’ll let him know if he needs anything, and says that he’d be bored in the Slytherin Common Room all day anyway.

The first school day since Sunoo’s accident passes without incident, the only thing indicating that anything is out of the ordinary is that he retires to his room early before dinner. It continues like that for a few days, Sunoo skipping a few of his classes when they become too difficult and Sunghoon delivering his notes to him.

Sunghoon rejoins Quidditch practice on Tuesday. Heeseung greets him with a big hu  and Sunoo cheers him on from the sidelines until Sunghoon banishes him away in the most lighthearted way possible, lovingly telling him that no injury makes him privy to Gryffindor’s Quidditch secrets.

At first Sunghoon is more cautious in the air than ever before, but Sunoo’s encouragement makes him feel at ease, and seeing him nearly back to normal at his regular life, just like Jay and Jake said he would be, proves to him that everything will be okay.

On Friday, one week since the accident, Sunoo seems completely cured, although he still has orders to take it easy and isn't allowed to play Quidditch for another week. "You know, this weekend is a Hogsmeade weekend too," he says to Sunghoon at breakfast. "I want to go. Will you come with me?"

He says it with such conviction Sunghoon knows he won't be able to talk him out of it. It's not like Sunghoon can keep him surrounded by a Protection Charm for the rest of his life. "Sure," Sunghoon says. He swallows a bite of bacon. Sunoo's eyes widen in surprise; he clearly hadn't expected Sunghoon to agree so quickly. "Where to? I don't think we need to make another Honeydukes run for a while."

"Oh, well," Sunoo splutters. For some reason the tips of his ears are red, although Sunghoon can't imagine why he'd react this way to a question he's asked him nearly every other time they've gone to Hogsmeade together. "I was thinking of picking up a new cauldron at Ceridwen's. And, uh, I have to pick something up at the Post Office."

Sunghoon is still a little suspicious, but he doesn't say anything, as Sunoo changes the topic to a question he has about the nonverbal spells they've been working on in Charms. He doesn't think about it again until Saturday.

That morning, the sky is clear and the sun shines brightly overhead, melting what little snow had fallen the night before. But it isn't too cold for Hogsmeade, and Sunghoon warms up as he chases after Sunoo, who skips the whole way into town. "Come on! We have so much to do!" he says to Sunghoon as he prances along High Street.

Sunghoon is pretty sure that the only time he's ever seen Sunoo so excited to be in Hogsmeade was during third first trip as third years, when the only other exclusively-wizarding settlement he'd been to was Diagon Alley. Obediently, Sunghoon follows him. Sunoo grabs his hands and leads him down the street, and when he turns a corner and walks down one of the alleys branching off from it, he still doesn't question him.

Until they're standing in front of Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop, Sunoo looking at him expectantly, waiting for his reaction, and Sunghoon feels like the Sugared Butterfly Wings he and Sunoo had shared last weekend are fluttering around in his stomach.

"Uh," Sunghoon says, gaping. "Here?"

Sunoo nods vigorously. "You said that no one had ever taken you."

"Yeah, like on a..." A date. Is that what this is? Sunghoon can't bring himself to ask. "Are you sure? People will think that we..."

"Let them," Sunoo says. Sunghoon doesn't have time to process the fact that Sunoo is apparently okay with people thinking that he and Sunghoon are a couple before Sunoo drags him inside.

Honestly, if Sunghoon had to describe the interior of Madam Puddifoot's, he would say that it isn't something he would enjoy in his daily life. It's a little sickening, actually, the abundance of lace and frills bows that adorn nearly every available space just a bit too much. But rather than something Sunghoon is actually put off by—it's more like a guilty pleasure.

Sunghoon knows the impression he gives off. Professional Quidditch player-to-be, conventionally attractive. Probably straight. Not the type of guy who wants to be taken care of and spoiled sometimes. Not the type of guy that swoons when his best friend, literal ball of sunshine, whom he's been in love with for so many years, takes him to quite possibly the most frilly, feminine tea shop in the wizarding world

Sunoo, cutely telling Sunghoon that he’ll get him something he likes, orders their drinks—a vanilla latte for Sunghoon and an herbal tea for himself. They sit together in a small booth by the front window, Sunghoon readily going wherever Sunoo pleases, feeling more comfortable as time passes. He’s not usually so self-conscious, but he feels more relaxed seeing that the majority of couples in the shop seem far too engrossed in each other to pay them any mind.

“I think you’ll like this,” Sunoo says after trying his drink. He moves it across the table for Sunghoon to reach. “It’s fruity.”

They share food all the time, but somehow it feels more intimate to share a drink here. The romantic atmosphere, the table between them so small their knees knock together underneath, the way Sunoo takes Sunghoon’s free hand in his own when he lifts his tea cup to his lips.

Sunghoon nearly chokes on the tea, but he forces himself to take a sip anyway. Cranberry, raspberry… and something else he can’t place. He likes it, of course, just like Sunoo knew he would. He knows food, and he knows Sunghoon.

Sunghoon sets the tea down. Sunoo is watching his expression carefully, but is it really the tea he’s thinking about? “I like it,” he says. Not just the tea. Feeling extra brave, he adds, “I like this.”

They’re holding hands. At a romantic café, that Sunoo had taken Sunghoon to after he’d expressed disappointment that no one had ever taken him on a proper date. It’s like he wants them to look like a couple—and to feel like one, too.

“Yeah?” Sunoo looks pleased. He squeezes Sunghoon’s hand, but it must be a nervous habit, because he doesn’t seem to realize that he’s done it. It’s so cute it makes Sunghoon’s breath stutter in his chest. “I know this might not have been what you pictured, but… I wanted you to have this.”

Screw waiting around for the perfect moment to come, for there to be no risk involved. If Sunghoon wants to be with Sunoo like this it could be risky, but his heart already belongs to him, and there’s no way to change that. Screw risk, screw the fact that time feels like it’s running out—it’s not really, not if Sunghoon takes the chance to be with him and this becomes a beginning to something much greater.

Sunoo has given him all the courage he needs. He can do this.

“No,” he says. Sunoo’s brows furrow, he starts to withdraw his hand, but Sunghoon holds him tighter. “This is exactly what I pictured.”

Several emotions flash across Sunoo’s face at the same time. Confusion, recognition, elation. The tiniest bit of fear, which even the thought of makes Sunghoon upset. But most prevalently: relief. “You mean—you imagined coming here with me?”

“Yes,” Sunghoon whispers.

Sunoo says, voice small, “On a date?”

It’s as though Sunghoon’s mouth has been clamped shut with nerves, but he still nods. Hopes that Sunoo can see his sincerity on his face. Holds his hand and hopes more than anything that he never has to let go again.

Sunoo shivers. “Really?”

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Sunghoon says. His hand is sweaty and his face is red, but Sunoo is still looking at him with so much love he feels dizzy. “I wanted it so badly but I was terrified that if you didn’t feel the same way things would be awkward between us.”

“I thought you were supposed to be a Gryffindor,” Sunoo quips, nudging Sunghoon’s knee under the table. But after they both laugh he becomes more serious. “I did, too. I’m serious about this. If you want this too, I think we could be really good together.”

“I know we would,” Sunghoon declares. It sounds too sappy even to himself, and he grins bashfully. Suddenly things don’t seem so scary anymore—graduating from Hogwarts, traveling on separate paths, growing and changing and building new relationships. It’ll all work out as it should, just like this has.

Sunoo only smiles, looking at him with what he now recognizes as adoration. Behind the joy and adrenaline rushing through Sunghoon, there’s relief, too. He doesn’t have to worry anymore.

After all, Sunoo is the one who makes his life so much brighter, and he isn’t going anywhere.