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Lily Evans didn’t know what had happened. All she knew was that it had to do with the oh-so famous ‘Marauders’ as well as Severus Snape. She and Severus weren’t exactly friends anymore—blood supremacist ideals could be thanked for that—so she wasn’t going to ask him. And every time she tried to approach Remus Lupin about it, his gaze became cold, closed off, and sadness consumed his features.
Despite her disliking for the group of troublemakers, minus Remus, of course, the whole situation was very unfortunate. Sirius Black was practically exiled from the other three, left to either sulk alone or bring down the mood of Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadowes, and Mary MacDonald.
Even though the other three Gryffindor boys acted as if they despised him, Lily could clearly see they were miserable. They would take turns in trying to comfort each other. Some days Remus would take it the worst and the next it would be James Potter. She’d never seen such the arrogant and prideful prick so distraught, it was like a light inside him had been completely doused.
Tonight, it was Remus’ turn.
Both Lily and Remus were on prefect duty. It had been weeks since Remus had felt up to searching the halls, and in spite of Lily offering to go alone, he insisted on joining.
They both walked side by side down the dim corridor of the seventh floor. Remus stood almost a whole foot taller than her. His hair was unkept and matted in certain places, eyes tired with deep, dark circles underneath them. The tip of his nose was slightly red as he kept trying to hide the occasional sniff. Lily felt absolutely terrible for him.
“Y’know, Remus—” Lily broke the silence, fiddling with the wand in her hand.
“I think we should split up.” Remus interjected, avoiding eye contact. Over the past few moments, his eyes had begun to grow more bloodshot.
“What?” She slowed her pace.
“To cover more ground.” His words were careful, Lily frowned. “I’ll go right, you go left, we’ll be finished in no time.” He gestured to each direction with his wand that was currently lit.
“Well,” Lily started, “Remus, I don’t think—” She could tell by the way he kept moving back that he wanted to be alone, but she was afraid being alone too much would get to him. She wanted to be there for him.
“Meet you at the staircases,” he said almost hurriedly, already yards down the corridor and turning a corner.
Lily was left alone in the dark, debating whether or not to go after him. She wanted to help—truly, but she didn’t know how. No one would tell her what happened and she feared she’d say the wrong thing, possibly making it worse. Approaching him directly wouldn’t work, even the mention of Sirius made Remus close in on himself.
She decided to leave him be, perhaps tomorrow she could try again.
“Lumos,” Lily casted under her breath. The tip of her wand immediately illuminated into a helpful glow. The walls were visible once more, showing that she was alone amongst the high pillars that towered over her.
Turning on her heels, Lily felt it was quite redundant to be heading back the way she came, but she went anyway. Even though she didn’t have to rush, she still went at a bit of a quicker pace than before. Without having to look around the spots she’d already checked, the patrol went along much faster.
Once she came up the entrance of the Gryffindor common room, she turned again to head the way they hadn’t already looked, intending to catch up to Remus by the stairwells.
Lily hadn’t expected to run into anyone, considering that no one would be stupid enough to hide right next to a common room entrance. Of course, unless they didn’t know where the Gryffindor common room was, but still.
So, to say the least, she was a little surprised when she heard sniffles coming from down the hall. She didn’t remember any paintings down that corridor, let alone sniffly or possibly crying ones.
Lily tightened her grip around her wand before venturing forward, getting closer and closer towards the source of the noise. Whatever—or whoever—it was hadn’t seemed to notice her or the light coming from the spell.
After a good few steps forward and no sightings of where the sniffling was coming from, she was starting to get a bit confused. Maybe it was because it was so quiet that the sound travelled farther. Still, she swore she should be close enough to see where it was coming from.
Turning to have a better look at the nooks and crannies of the walls, the root of the sound appeared right in front of her—almost out of nowhere. Normally, she would’ve questioned the suddenness of seeing a person crying directly in front of her, but she was too taken aback by who it was.
James Potter was sat in a ball on the floor, hidden beneath a veil of shadows casted through the grooves of the wall. His glasses were fallen just at the tip of his nose, his hands pressed tightly to his eyes as if to keep the tears that flowed down his cheeks at bay. He was breathing jaggedly, sniffing before letting out a wavering sigh.
Never had Lily Evans seen Potter cry. She didn’t even know that he could! With his nonchalant attitude and lack of caring for anything, she never guessed that he would have anything to cry about.
But the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. He was most likely upset about Sirius, the same way Remus was. Lily knew James and Sirius were practically brothers, no wonder it would be taking a rough toll on him.
Still, the rare sight made her unsure of how to feel. No—she felt bad for him. She couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to lose a sibling. Even her and Petunia still kept in touch.
Lily realized she should probably say something before her staring became too invasive. “James?” She called out quietly, as to not scare him.
James’ head shot up at the sound of her voice, his eyes bloodshot and watering. At first, he was frozen in shock, staring at her dumbfounded. It only took him a moment to snap out of it. He cleared his throat, composing himself as quickly as possible while fumbling to stand up.
“E-Evans!” He croaked, then pounded his chest to try and get the frog out of his throat. His glasses laid askew on the bridge of his nose, it took everything within Lily to not fix them for him. “J-just the person I was looking for!” He spoke more clearly.
Lily could clearly tell he was lying. A frown spread over her lips, “James . . . are you—”
“Glad that I found you? Of course!” He cut her off, sniffing before attempting to cover it with a forced cough. She could tell he was frantically trying to cover up any emotions, the longer he put on the act the more concerned she got. “How’s uh—how’s duty going?”
She quirked a brow, “You stayed out past curfew, in the opposite direction of our patrol, to ask how I was doing?” She questioned, looking him up and down as he took a gulp. He was only wearing his oxford button up, which was completely wrinkled, along with his equally unkept trousers.
“Well—I was—” James struggled to collect his thoughts, positive that this was one of the only times he wasn’t thrilled to see Lily Evans. “I meant you as in both of you, you know, like the royal we but instead of we it’s you—it’s the royal you. . .”
Lily let him ramble, taking her time to figure out how to get him to tell the truth. She fiddled lightly with the wand in her hand, causing the light it casted to waver.
When James was finished, they were both shrouded in silence. It wasn’t until they were left to awkwardly stare at each other that James realized it really was just the two of them. “Um, where’s Moony?” He scratched the back of his neck, looking around as if to find him hiding somewhere.
Despite not knowing the origins for the nickname, Lily knew James was talking about Remus. “He went the other way,” she pointed behind herself with her thumb, “I think he just needed some alone time.” As do you, Lily didn’t say.
James nodded, placing his hands at his hips as his gaze became fixated on the floor, scuffing his heel against the stone. He knew that Remus had needed a lot of alone time recently, with what Sirius had done, he didn’t want to be around anyone. It was hard enough losing one friend, and with Remus distancing himself so much, James felt he was losing two. Yes, he still had Peter, but there was no doubt a gaping hole missing in his life.
“James?” Lily spoke softly, seeing that his happy facade was slowly slipping, “Are you okay?” Although she clearly knew the answer, she still wanted to ask, hoping that maybe she could help.
“Yeah,” James reassured, “great!” Though, he didn’t take his eyes off the floor, keeping head down and face out of Lily’s view. He was lying through his teeth and they both knew it. But the last thing he wanted to do was break down in front of her. There was nothing wrong with showing his emotions—he knew that—but he didn’t want to rope her in with what happened with Sirius, not when even Remus wouldn’t talk about it to him.
But he couldn’t help the tears that pricked his eyes, the feeling of his nose already starting to congest again. With a quick sniffle, he brought his hands back up to cover his face, almost knocking off his glasses. He could feel his palms start to dampen with tears, a part of him wanted to be alone again while the other desperately hoped Lily would stay.
“Sorry,” James croaked, again attempting to compose himself, but with each tear he wiped away, even more would flow down his cheeks. His glasses were uselessly foggy, which was both a blessing and a curse since he had no idea how Lily was reacting. At least if she was repulsed, he wouldn’t have to see it.
What he hadn’t expected, were the arms that wrapped around his middle, pulling him into a tight yet nonrestrictive hug. James couldn’t help but sink into Lily’s embrace. He slung his arms around her shoulders to pull her in closer, burying his face against her neck.
Lily ignored the glasses poking into her chin, hesitantly rubbing James’ back to bring him more comfort. She hadn’t known what to do when he started crying, so she resorted to the only form of assurance she could think of. Even if Potter was usually an annoying git, he was still a person, a person who’d lost a friend and needed comfort.
“I miss him so much . . .” James knew he didn’t have to say anything, that he could’ve probably just cried without a word and that would’ve been perfectly fine, but he felt Lily wouldn’t mind.
“I know,” she whispered, speaking almost directly in his ear. She continued to rub his back, hand tracing the wrinkles in his shirt as he continued to cry into her shoulder, occasionally repeating how much he missed his best mate. Or—former best mate.
They stood in the corridor for what felt like hours, but was most likely not that long, holding onto each other until their arms got too tired. James had eventually calmed down, having thoroughly soaked the shoulder of Lily’s robes. After multiple apologies and ’it’s fine’s, they both decided it was best for James to get back to the common room and for Lily to continue her patrol. She wondered if Remus was still waiting at the staircases or had already moved on.
They both went their separate ways, James feeling quite better than he had before and Lily having a new impression of the boy she once thought to be a slimy, arrogant, stinking, wretched toerag.