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Katsuki took a deep breath.
He could do this. Obviously, he could. He was motherfuckin’ Katsuki Bakugou, he could do anything. Besides, Deku was… Deku. Their lives had been entwined for as long as he could remember. And finally, finally, it seemed like they were at a point where they could stand side by side. This was the perfect time for it. It felt a little like destiny.
So yeah, he could definitely do this. Now if only Deku would actually show up…
Katsuki ran his hand through his hair and waited, leaning against the building. Tch. What was taking that asshole so long anyway? He tapped his foot and sighed, glaring at the night sky. The shitnerd wouldn't have stood him up, would he?
“K- Kacchan?”
“Fuckin’ finally. We were supposed to meet up half an hour ago, nerd,” Katsuki snarled, despite the relief unfurling in his chest. It was just Deku being Deku, never on time ever. The idiot would be late to his own funeral, probably.
Katsuki watched as Deku stepped forward hesitantly, the light of the street lamp bathing over him in a soft glow. Under all that muscle, all that power that Deku had accumulated, it was clear he was still that crybaby kid with skinned knees and a soft heart. He couldn't help but be a little bit pleased at that.
“S-sorry,” Deku mumbled, looking down. “But Kacchan, this is Ground Beta. You’re not gonna… I mean, we're not gonna, y'know, not again, right? I don’t think they’ll overlook it a second time.”
“Relax,” Katsuki dismissed, waving his hand. “We’re not gonna fight. Besides, it’s the weekend, so Aizawa won’t really care if we’re out of bed.”
Deku peered up at him with big eyes, nervously stepping closer. He really was like a scared little animal, huh.
“How do… How do you know that, Kacchan?”
And yet always so curious. Katsuki snorted.
“Mina and Kaminari are always pulling some bullshit or the other on the weekends." He reached down to snap open the pocket of his cargo pants. "Here, catch.”
He tossed him the drink he had gotten earlier. Some limited edition All Might beer. All Might memorabilia really had taken off after the events of… Well, anyway, his mom had sent him a bottle and a warning to ‘not be an idiot’.
Immediately, Deku’s face broke out into a bright smile. He began mumbling as he peered over the label, wiping the condensation away and holding it this way and that.
“Kacchan! All Might refused to get me one of these! I mean, it’s understandable considering we’re technically underage but I might not even drink it, actually, just keep it as a keepsake. Is that weird? Beer expires, doesn’t it, so that would definitely be gross. Ah, I suppose I could drink it, I don’t know if I’d like the taste, but it really would be a waste otherwise, and it would be interesting to see what flavour profile they’ve chosen to represent All Might, though I don’t really know much about fl-”
“Jesus, Deku, it’s just a drink. Calm down and stop with the muttering already!”
Deku abruptly stopped, ducking his head and rubbing the back of his neck, eyes still sparkling. “Sorry Kacchan,” he apologized, before hugging the drink to his chest. “And thank you! It’s been so long since you’ve given me anything… ah, I’ll definitely cherish this gift.”
“Shut up,” Katsuki ordered, but he felt his cheeks heat up despite his annoyance.
They stood in silence for a bit, and Katsuki took the time to just watch Deku. Yeah… he’d changed, and yet in a lot of ways, he was definitely still the same. In the best of ways. Katsuki had grown enough to realize that the nerd’s earnestness was not a weakness. Sure, it wasn’t a trait that he was particularly envious of, and it was far from necessary, but it suited Deku.
Deku fidgeted.
“Um… Did we just come here so you could give me this…?”
“Ground Beta,” Katsuki murmured in lieu of a response. “In a lot of ways our journey started here, right? Getting into U.A. We were finally on the same stage. Meeting eye to eye.” Katsuki stepped forward, and stepped forward again, until their noses were almost touching. He watched Deku’s face burst into flames, and he had to bite his own lip to prevent himself from snickering at the sight. But he couldn’t mess this up.
This was it, this was his chance. He gazed at Deku’s eyes, at the nervous way he glanced up at him and bit at his lip, and he felt his heart clench.
“Um… K-Kacchan…”
“Deku,” Katsuki said roughly in response, cupping Deku’s face in his palm. “Let’s be more than that, too. Go out with me, nerd.” He closed his eyes and leaned forward, kissing him softly, tenderly.
Only to be almost immediately shoved away, the sound of glass shattering as the beer bottle fell to the ground. Huh. Talk about a smash.
“What the fuck, Deku?” Katsuki asked, bemused. In all honesty, he should have expected this. Deku could be incredibly nervous at the best of times, so he wasn’t surprised that the nerd would react instinctively. Damn, he should have handed the beer over after, huh. Now they wouldn’t be able to share it.
“K- Kacchan- What was- What was that?” Deku demanded from behind his arms, which he’d wrapped all over his head. Was this guy half octopus or something? He swore Shoji could learn a thing or two from Deku.
“A kiss. What, you’ve never been kissed before?”
“No! Th- that was my first one!”
Oh. Well… That was nice. He got the nerd’s first kiss, huh… Yeah, Katsuki definitely wouldn’t complain about that. He smirked.
“Is- Is this a prank or something?” Deku demanded, voice significantly higher than usual.
“Haa? Do I really look like the type to do shit I don’t mean because of a prank?”
“Well-! I just- So, you’re… You’re really being serious?”
Okay, this was very quickly crossing the line from endearing to annoying. Katsuki rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, I’m being fuckin’ serious. Say yes and be my boyfriend already, Deku.”
Katsuki felt the wind ruffle his hair, watched it tousle Deku’s hair as the nerd peered up at him from between his fingers. Watched as the nerd slowly attempted to calm himself down, smoothing the front of his shirt and brushing off invisible dust from his shorts.
The longer it took, the more Katsuki felt that surety slipping away from him. He’d thought Deku had pushed him away instinctively, just panicked about his first kiss, but… The nerd didn’t look happy under that shyness. He looked conflicted, and nervous, but not happy.
When Deku schooled his expression to a more closed off one - meant to be professional, but really just felt cruel - Katsuki knew the answer.
“No. Sorry, Kacchan, I can’t go out with you,” Deku murmured, bowing at a perfect 90 degrees.
Katsuki gritted his teeth. A formal response. What the fuck. Earlier, he’d thought… surely, surely, Deku had to feel the same way. He had just been taken off guard.
“Seriously? Aren’t you supposed to think stuff like this over?” Katsuki demanded. If Deku thought about it, then he’d realize it was a good idea. He'd realize that he was being an idiot, that he was saying know to the future Number One; he'd realize that Katsuki could be so, so good to him.
Deku stood up again, face still stupidly neutral. It made him want to punch something.
“Sorry. I just… I’m sure of my answer, so I thought it would be cruel to make you wait.”
“The fuck do you mean, ‘sure of your answer’? Don’t tell me you're straight or some shit, I’ve seen you look at me in the locker rooms.” Katsuki wasn’t blind, and he wasn’t egotistical enough to manufacture someone being attracted to him. Deku found him hot as shit, and that was a fact.
Deku blushed at that. “Ah, no, I like both guys and girls… And Kacchan, I do find you attractive, but…”
“Then what’s the problem? Give it a try. I’ll make you fall so fucking hard for me.”
New plan. Katsuki could be adaptive. He made his own future. Sure, he had expected Deku to like him back. But that’s fine. He could definitely win the nerd over. This was just a minor setback.
Infuriatingly, the nerd shook his head again.
“I’m… I’m really sorry, Kacchan,” Deku said, glancing at him apologetically. “It’s just that, between us… Things have always been…”
Oh. So that was the issue.
“Are you seriously still hung up on the shit before U.A.? We’ve grown a lot since then, why the fuck wo-”
“You don’t get to say that.”
Deku’s voice was cold steel as he spoke. Katsuki stared, shocked at being cut off so firmly. Deku took a deep breath, like he was preparing himself, raising his head and holding his gaze.
“It’s true. We have grown since then. And I do trust you now, Kacchan. But that doesn’t change the fact that every time you reach out to me, for a second, my heart freezes. And when I hear your explosions, I wonder if I’m the one it’s going to aimed at. I can’t be in a relationship like that.”
Deku stepped forward and gripped his arm. His eyes were firm, but also apologetic. It felt like the bastard was pitying him.
“You make me want to be more powerful, Kacchan, and I’ve always thought that. But that’s because…” Deku hesitated, before steeling himself. “You make me want to be powerful because you make me feel powerless. So I’m sorry, Kacchan but I can’t go out with you.”
Deku bowed again.
"I'm sorry. I really am. And I'm sorry for breaking your gift. I'm- I'm going to go."
Katsuki could only watch in desperation as Deku turned away from him, jogging away without so much as a glance backwards. From the idea of them. He wanted to chase him, to beg, or plead, or blow, up, but...
He'd thought things were okay between them. He'd thought... He made Deku feel powerless? He had no idea what to do. He felt lost, truly lost. For once, he had... He didn't know...
He didn't know what to do.