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You woke that morning with a darkness in your mind, one that wasn’t caused by anything specific but was there nonetheless, foreboding and heavy in its presence.
You had these spells from time to time, less often now that you had Farah in your life, but still on occasion you would fall into them, with nothing to be done about them but to fight through them until they passed.
Farah wasn’t there now — you couldn’t feel her in bed beside you, nor could you hear her moving about the small house getting ready for the day, meaning she must have already gone to her office to get a head start. You almost preferred it that way; as much as you loved Farah, it was hard to talk to anyone in this state, and with her gone you could plod through your routine without having to explain the dark circles under your eyes and the heaviness in your mind.
You went through your day feeling like a puppet, some unknown force pulling your strings and putting you through your daily tasks as you should, but without any feeling or real knowledge of your actions. More than that, you felt… empty. The darkness in your mind seemed to have swallowed everything, leaving a terrifying void of numbness and exhaustion in its place of, and as hard as you beat against the confines of the void, you couldn’t bring yourself out of the apathy.
That evening, after you’d finished the mechanics of your teaching duties, you sat at your desk a while, knowing you should do something, but unable to find the spark inside of yourself to do it. Finally, after time had slipped away from you and you were barely cognizant of yourself anymore, you simply stood and returned to the cottage you shared with Farah.
There, you stood in the doorway, staring almost unseeingly into the house, noting in the back of your mind that everything was as you left it — so Farah still hadn’t returned. That wasn’t unusual, and in the darkness of your mind you couldn’t bring yourself to feel anything about her absence, so instead you cast aside your belongings on the nearest surface you could find and trudged off to bed.
‘I should clean,’ you thought as you shed your clothing until you were left in your shirt. ‘Or at least eat,’ you thought as you crawled into bed, not remembering the last time you did.
And yet, despite all your thoughts of shoulds and woulds, you curled up on your side and pulled the covers up tight, staring blankly at the wall across from you as the last light of dusk faded from the horizon.
You couldn’t remember how long you’d been there when Farah came home, only that you vaguely remember the door opening. You thought to call out to her, let her know where you were, but you couldn’t find the energy to do so, instead listening as she set her stuff down and moved about the house.
You heard when she came into the bedroom, seeing you there, and you tried again to find it in your power to speak, but your tongue was heavy and your mind still empty and numb, and you couldn’t find the words to tell her about the darkness and the weight and the terrifying void in your mind.
But ever a mind fairy, you felt her magic reach out to you, gently touching your thoughts before retreating. And instead of saying a word, Farah merely came to the foot of the bed and slowly crawled up, pressing a gentle kiss first to your hip, then to your shoulder, then finally to your cheek before she lay down behind you, slipping under the covers and pressing close. Even now, you couldn’t find the strength to smile, but you felt yourself relax like you hadn’t all day, sinking deep into her chest as she wrapped her arms around you and held you tight.
You lay like that for some time, you weren’t sure of how long, but at some point you felt the gentle brush of her mind against yours, a sweet caress asking permission. She’d done this a few times before, and without hesitance you gave an answering caress, allowing her in.
She came into your mind, wrapping around your consciousness like a blanket, bringing light and warmth and love. You closed your eyes, tears slipping over the bridge of your nose at the sheer relief of the absence of the darkness, and you curled your mind up against hers like a cat in the sunlight, trying to chase out the lingering memory of the numb emptiness you’d carried all day.
‘My brave thing,’ she murmured in your mind, her voice warm and soft, comforting you in a way you couldn’t begin to describe. ‘Bearing such a weight for so long.’
More tears slipped over your nose, her praise and tenderness overwhelming to your fragile emotions, slowly returning to your mind with Farah’s caresses.
You reached down and grabbed onto her forearm wrapped around your waist, needing to feel her as solid, warm, real underneath your hand, otherwise you worried she might somehow fade away. Sensing your thought, Farah held you tighter, grounding you, and pressed gentle kisses to your neck, her warm scent of tea and vanilla and home washing over you.
‘I’m not going anywhere,’ she reassured, and being curled up against her chest, feeling it rise and fall along with her kisses and her warmth, you knew that she wouldn’t.
The world began to feel real again in Farah’s arms, and you continued to relax back against her, realizing just how tense you’d been all day.
“Sleep,” she said out loud, and you could feel the bit of magic lacing her words, making you drowsy as sleep pulled at your mind. It wasn’t much, not enough to force you to sleep, but just so that it was easy to close your eyes and dreams didn’t seem so daunting.
Her mind still curled up against yours, you did close your eyes then, and Farah pulled the blankets closer around the both of you. ‘I’ll be right here when you wake.’