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A burning smell, clouds of smoke. The flames were leaving scars on his arms and eating away his lungs, but he couldn't care less. His brother's dead body. It was right here, right before his eyes. Why did it happen?
—It was my fault, everything was my fault
Sesa woke up shaking.
The sweat was pouring off him. His tail was thrashing about back and forth. He felt a heavy lump inside his throat.
Sesa wanted to cry, but he couldn't do it. He was too used to his stupid smile to protect himself.
Of course, it wasn't Columbia. It clearly was Rhodes, and he was in the safe room he shared with Passenger.
'Are you okay?' a calm familiar voice broke the silence. He heard a knocking sound, and soon saw Passenger's pale face in the light of the table lamp placed on the nightstand.
Sky-blue eyes were looking at him with a light concern.
'Shit. Sorry, did I wake you up?'
Passenger shaked his head in disagreement.
'My quality of sleep is quite bad, you know.'
Sesa really knew this. Because of his partner's severe Oripathy(and many not-so-good memories), he had troubles with sleeping very often despite medical treatment. It was no wonder that he had found a friend in the person of Silence. They got along quite well.
Passenger slowly gripped Sesa's hands, which were still trembling. His own hands were more delicate and thin, but not so different from Sesa's ones. Not counting the appearance, of course.
The clawed hands decorated with a starry sky and spatter of small white stars. But the rest of his arms, going down to the elbows were burned and dissected by scars. Sesa had mixed feelings every time he had been looking at his own arms.
'Do they look strange?'
'No, they don't. But I want you to be more careful.'
Passenger touched his scars delicately. Then he started stroking the palms.
'Hey, it tickles.'
'Ah, so?' Passenger didn't stop, on the contrary, he continued to move even faster.
'Passenger, stop, my hands are sensitive!'
'Maybe, if somebody promises that he won't get hurt so carelessly, I'll think about it,' the older man said this with a teasing look.
'Okay, okay, I'll try. You just wanted an excuse to touch my hands, didn’t you?'
'Who knows? Anyway, you don't look like you want to cry anymore.'
Sesa didn't really know what he had exactly felt.
'...Do your wounds ever throb?'
'If you mean ones on my back, then almost no. If you mean the invisible ones, then the right answer will be yes, constantly,' Passenger sighed. 'But I guess this means I am alive after all.'
Sesa moved closer to him and lightly kissed the Originium crystal on Passenger's forehead.
'And what are you doing?'
'Returning the favor. If you like my hands so much, can I touch your neck? I will be cautious, of course,' Sesa saw Passenger nodding.
He carefully scratched the throat of the older man with his claw, and immediately heard strange sounds, which really resembled noises of a pigeon.
Sesa understood that it was Passenger's laughter. He froze for a bit and stopped his hand.
'Sesa?' Passenger's winged ears rose slightly. His face looked somewhat dissatisfied. Maybe, he expected more.
'...Ah, my bad. I've just never heard you laugh... Like this.'
'Maybe, it's still a difficult thing for me. I guess I forgot how to do it properly after so many years,' Passenger was smiling, but his eyes were very sad and tired. Of course, it was difficult. His life was mostly painful and miserable, so he had to relearn many things from scratch.
'Mind me do it again? Your voice sounds cute when you're laughing,' Sesa hugged the slender, slightly cold body of his beloved. He placed hands on the scars on Passenger's back.
'No, I don't mind. But, ' Passenger looked at the clock which was showing 3 AM,' we had better sleep soon. Despite that we have a day-off, I can't guarantee that I will feel good tomorrow.'
'Okay, understood. I'll do it quickly,' Sesa started scratching Passenger's neck again, this time with two claws, and soon he heard quiet joyful noises. After a few minutes Passenger closed his eyes.
'Good night,' Sesa embraced the sleeping man and flicked the switch of the lamp with his tail.