Work Text:
You know what sucks? Retail work. Retail work sucks. It's basically lying, and lying can be fun, but oh retail work so rarely is. There are parts, y'know. I do like seeing a satisfied customer, despite everything. I like it when people underestimate how smart I am and find out, to their peril, at the exact last minute. And for that matter, I take a special pleasure out of deals that take the souls of assholes.
That's just one of the perks of working in Hell, after all.
It can be fun, too, when you get somebody new. Inexperienced. In fact, I'm pretty sure I don't recognize today's special customer! How exciting!
She's got red hair, one of those funny wizard hats, and big, wide eyes. "Woah," she says, staring up at me (she's kneeling), "who are you? "
Oooh, buddy, time to test her. Wonder how much demonology this one studied before calling me outta the pits.
"My name is Ouma Kokichi, but please, call me Kokichi," I say, grinning widely, "imp by breed, confidante extraordinaire by trade." My eyes are flitting to the circle at my feet. Nice design, circle's consistent, can't just break out of this one.
So, the test. I stick my hand out for her to shake, careful to keep it inside of the circle. "Nice to meetcha!" I beam, all too casually.
She looks up to my hand and frowns a moment. "Yumeno Himiko. Call me Yumeno. I'm a mage."
Figured that one out all by myself, but thanks.
Guess she's not shaking. Yeah, okay, that would've been too easy. "I'll keep it in mind," I say, bringing my hand up and twirling it around my hair. "So what brings me to your part of town?" I wink. Demon humor.
She frowns at me, like she's not sure how to respond. Shy, maybe? "I… wanna do magic," she says, in a hesitant voice.
Huh. "Well, okay, we can manage that," I say, levitating in the air, crossing my legs and resting my cheek on my hand. "Tell me what kind of magic you want to do. There's a lot that's within my power, y'know!"
She frowns again, deeper this time. What does she want with me? "I can't help you if you don't explain what you need, " I add. "Promise you, I'm not gonna make fun. I've heard worse." I really, really have. Retail work, huh.
She doesn't speak right away, and I'm getting impatient, but I try not to let it show. "You're supposed to be my ticket for magic," she says, and I'm starting to think maybe her voice is just halting like that generally, and it's not that she's hesitating. "That's what it says."
It?
I glance around, and sure enough, there's a spellbook at her feet, turned to somewhere in the middle. I feel like I recognize that handwriting from somewhere…
…Hmm. It's gonna bug me now.
"Your book?" I guess, staring down at it. Fancy. "That where you learned how to summon me?"
She nods. "I can't figure out any of the other spells here," she explains, "but I wanna do magic. Like my master does."
"Oh, a translation job?" I say, dropping to the ground and crouching to her height. "Sure thing, nishishi. I can show you anything you wanna know. Let me see the book, Yumeno-chan."
My client wordlessly picks the book up and presents the pages to me. …Yep, that's most definitely a ritual to summon me.
"One of the other pages," I say, waving a hand and accidentally hitting the salt wall. Ow. Annoying.
"Nyeh," she groans, or maybe just enunciates to enunciate, before changing the page over to a chant designed to…
…to…
…
"What is this?" I frown, squinting at the words. These don't match any language I know.
The girl huffs at me. "My master's spells," she says. "My master's a super strong mage. He's taught me lots of stuff, but I wanna do stuff like shoot fireballs and he won't teach me."
I gesture for her to turn the page again as I speak. "And what kind of magic do you know now?" I ask. She turns the page, and I squint at the text again.
"I can pick your card from a deck," she explains, "I can take a coin from your ear. I can even saw somebody in half."
"…Like, magic tricks?" I frown. This is all gobbledygook.
"Not tricks, " she emphasizes, looking almost upset with me, " real magic. But my master's way better than me. He can do all sorts of stuff I can't. The secrets are supposed to be in this book."
These phonemes are all inconsistent. As a language, this doesn't make sense. Not as a cipher, either. I don't get it. Why would you make your spellbook this… incomprehensible?
Wait.
"Your master's famous as a mage, then? And he casts special spells sometimes, ones you can't do and that he won't teach you?" I tilt my head at her.
She nods again. "That's right. I'm the star pupil of the world's best mage. He told me I would learn in time, and I trust him, but… I wanna know." Hmm. Something about this all sounds… familiar.
More than familiar, that's where I recognize the writing from. Her master made a deal with me before. He's a con artist and hack magician who goes around using my power to perform minor miracles for money.
"The reason your master didn't tell you…" I grin, stretching up to full height and gesturing to myself, "is because he got his powers from making a deal with me. " I fan my wings out, just for good measure. Nice to look imposing. "He doesn't know any real magic on his own, not without my power."
She doesn't even pause a second before responding. "No, he didn't," she insists, "you can just say you don't know how to read his spellbook, it's fine."
…Huh???
"No, that spellbook is worthless," I insist, waving my hand dismissively. "The only thing worth anything in it is the spell to summon me. "
" Shut up, " she snaps, louder than I expect. "You don't know anything about my master. When my magic awakened, he took me in and taught me everything I know. He always takes time for me. You can't talk about him like you know him!"
Oh.
Ohhhhhh.
I understand now.
It's impossible for a villain like me to take what someone else has already stolen.
...Not without some hard work and elbow grease, anyhow.
"Oh, I see!" I grin, standing back up and leaning back, putting my arms behind my head. "That's my bad! Yumeno-chan, your master must be pretty good."
She - Yumeno - nods again, her expression settling. "Uh huh… he's really good. My mommy says he's worth every cent."
...She pays for this, huh? I already didn't like this guy, but I'm starting to hate him more and more by the second.
"
Well,
" I say, splaying my arms out wide, "I can't exactly
replicate
what he can do," I can, I can do
exactly
that, "but I can give you some abilities that'll make even
him
impressed!"
…
Actually. "We could even go a step further! Normally I just give out temporary abilities, but I think for someone like you, I could manage lifetime magical capabilities." Humans don't live that long, and I was getting pretty bored down in hell, anyhow. The opportunities, they're so exciting!
"...Really?" Yumeno looks a little skeptical.
"Sure can!" I grin. "I can even give you a test run, if you want." I hold my hand out. "For five minutes, you'll have everything I can give you, and I ask nothing in return. Just shake my hand."
Yumeno looks at my hand skeptically.
"It's fine, " I say, frowning, "it's not like I'm gonna hurt you or anything. We're making a deal. You've gotta agree to it somehow."
She doesn't say anything for another few moments, just staring at my hand. "It looks rough."
Eh? I tilt my head at her.
"Your hand looks rough," she says, pointing at it. "Claws and scales. I don't wanna touch it."
I huff. "It's not that bad! But fine." I snap my fingers, and almost at once my wings and horns vanish, claws and scales fade, my tail is gone, and I'm a perfectly normal-looking human. In appearance, at least. "You prefer this?"
She keeps frowning at my hand for another few moments, like it's gonna bite her, before she reaches out and shakes it. I grin, giving it a nod and a brisk shake before passing the power over.
Weird feeling. I don't do this too often, leaves me pretty unguarded. But, well… that's not so boring, either, is it?
Yumeno looks down at her hand, then back up at me. "Tingly…" she comments, her eyes a little wide. "What do I do now?"
"Whatever you want!" Ouma grins. "I can show you a few fun-looking basics, if you want, but it's not exactly enough time to get in-depth. Hold your hand out, cup it, and think about a fire appearing in it."
"Woah." Yumeno does as instructed, and to no one's surprise, a fire appears in her hand.
Strike that. To Yumeno's surprise, a fire appears in her hand. She lets out a surprised " nyeeehhh?? " and drops it, at which point it sets her master's spellbook on fire.
Already off to a strong start.
"You can put it out," I say, trying to keep my voice from sounding irritated, "just… stay calm, and imagine a breeze blowing through. That'll put out any fire you've summoned.
"Y- you do it!" Yumeno protests, pulling out her hat like she's gonna stamp out the fire with it. Not the best plan.
I huff, crossing my arms. "I can't do anything with the salt circle up, and even if I could, I gave you my power. Put it out."
She gives me a look, then reaches out with her foot and breaks the salt circle. ...Okay. Stupid, but okay. I can work with stupid.
I step outside of the circle and reach out to take her hand. "Take a deep breath," I say, my voice stern but not unkind. She does as I ask, closing her eyes. "Now… breathe out and imagine your breath is putting out the fire."
When Yumeno lets out her breath (a little fast for putting out fire, but it's magic, I'm not gonna judge), the fire winks out immediately. She carefully cracks open an eye, frowning at the ground. She lets out a distraught "nyehhh…" as she stares down at the book, one hand fisting into her hat and the other squeezing mine.
Can't really blame her. That book is, uh, pretty much ruined, to tell the truth. I probably need to save this, even if it was literally not my fault in any way.
"I can fix that when I get my powers back." Well enough he probably won't notice, at least.
Yumeno nods, placing her hat back on her head. "Can you show me… some other powers, maybe?"
I nod, reaching out and gently clasping her hands together. I've been planning my moves ahead, after all. "Imagine a butterfly for me. The prettiest butterfly you can think of." I don't care that much for butterflies, but I'm given to understand they are a hit with the kids, so to speak.
Yumeno nods. She's got her eyes closed.
"Okay," I grin widely, "now, next… I want you to pull your hands open and imagine you're letting it go."
Yumeno does as asked, opening her eyes in time to see the butterfly emerging from them, with long red wings. Not bad for a first try. She gasps a little, seeing it. Thankfully this one is a bit more, uh, let's say safe, and nothing terrible happens.
"You can do all sorts of other stuff when you master this kind of magic," I offer. "It takes patience, practice, and control, but then, I'm sure you can do all of those."
She nods, her eyes not straying from the butterfly. I think she's still pretty impressed by what she's done.
...The thing is, time's limited, I need to show her more of this potential. "Reach your hand up now and snap your fingers," I say.
Yumeno's gaze finally turns to me, and she only hesitates a moment before complying. The butterfly vanishes in a shower of harmless sparks, and her eyes widen even bigger. "Woah…" she mutters, under her breath, "this is the power of my magic?"
...She's a little confused, but she's got the spirit, so sure. I nod. "If you agree to my deal, then yep! This is the least you're gonna be able to do. Little kid stuff. You could probably take over the world, if you really wanted."
She gives me a confused look. "Why would I wanna do that? It sounds like a pain."
I keep pitching ideas underhand at this girl, and she just steadfastly refuses to take a swing. It's passed comical into mildly frustrating at this point.
"Then no taking over the world! Okay, one more thing." I grin. "Think about… a sound, like a popping sound, and a bright flash."
Yumeno squints at me. "Like popcorn in the microwave?"
"Sure!" I don't know what that is. "Just imagine that, close your hands and eyes, bring your hands out, then open them all at the same time." This won't be necessary once she has more focus, but until then it should help.
Yumeno slowly closes her hands and brings them up, like she's doing something super serious. When she opens them, there's a sudden flash, and a… kinda weak popping sound, a little chunky, but okay, guess that's popcorn or whatever.
"Do it again, but think about colors!" I say, raising a finger. "You'll get some pretty fun results!"
Yumeno nods quickly, repeating the effect. She seems pretty excited. The pop is louder this time, more like what I was expecting, and they're bright and multi-colored sparks, more like proper fireworks. They fade a little abruptly, and I feel my power returning to me. That'll be the cutoff, then.
"Huh!?" Yumeno seems stricken.
I shake my head, grinning. "Not to worry, not to worry!" I raise a finger, producing a little firework crackle of my own, letting it cycle through colors. "They just came back to me, that's all. Everything's all good." I fade it out as I drop to my knees and inspect this book. Geez, she sure did a number on this. What am I supposed to do…
"So how do I get them back…?" Yumeno asks, just a hint of emotion - desperation, maybe? - in her voice. And oh, I do love that sound.
I flip the pages, winding my finger up and down to try and make them look normal. It won't fool a detailed inspection, but I sorta doubt this guy is gonna be inspecting this book super hard, anyhow.
...Or anything, when I get done with him, but it's all good. Doesn't matter.
"You just need to make a deal with me," I beam. "All I need is for you to agree to three things, and you'll get my powers for the rest of your natural life."
"Three things? What kinds of things…?" Yumeno frowns, pulling on her hat.
"Well, that's easy," I grin. "A soul-"
"A soul!? " Yumeno gasps. "You can't have my soul!"
"I don't want your soul!" I wave my hand dismissively. "Just do what I say and you won't have to worry about that part. I also want the souls of anybody you kill with your magic."
"Killing people sounds like… a pain." She frowns deeper at me. "I'm not doing that."
I giggle, shaking my head as I comb over the pages further. "Never said you had to," I fix a few more as I go. "It's more of a what-if kind of scenario."
I'm not looking, but I can feel Yumeno relaxing at that. "And the third thing?"
"Well!" I look back at Yumeno, beaming. "I wanna stay with Yumeno-chan for the rest of her natural life!"
" Huuuh!? " Yumeno pulls her hat down even further, her face totally hidden. "You mean... like…?"
Huh?
I just wanna see how Yumeno uses my magic, really, no idea what she's thinking. I shouldn't phrase it like that, though. Kinda doubt that's gonna work out.
"I need Himi-Himi-Himiko-chan's super strong magic to keep me safe, don'tcha know?" I beam at her. "So there's just no other choice."
It's not even that much of a lie. I'll be more defenseless than usual giving up this much of my power.
"Oh, so that's what it is." Yumeno nods, pulling her hat back up. "Okay."
"You sure?" I tilt my head. "You don't want more time to think it over?"
"What's the point of that?" Yumeno asks. I do love people who don't read the fine print. This is gonna be fun.
"Okay!" I chirp, standing up. "Now we gotta seal the deal with a kiss."
"H-h- huh!? " Yumeno's face flares red, and I laugh. Maybe I knew what she was thinking after all.
"That was a lie," I wave my hand, "your face is safe. A handshake will do you just fine."
I offer her my hand, and it doesn't take her long at all to shake it. I like her confidence. Or maybe it's just stupidity. Either or!
"Try making a butterfly again," I suggest, with a grin, as I pull my hand away from hers and pull my attention away. She makes a hum of agreement, bringing her hands up again
…While Yumeno's distracted riding the high of her newfound power, I quickly bite my thumb and use it to scrawl a symbol on the inside of Himiko's master's book in blood. Aaand… perfect. I seal it shut with a satisfyingly loud sound. It's enough to spook Yumeno and obliterate her poor little fake butterflies.
"…What do we do now…?" Yumeno asks, tilting her head.
"It's easy as pie!" I grin. "All you've gotta do is take this book and deliver it back to your master somehow."
Yumeno nods, blissfully unaware of the fate she's sealing. It's fine, really. She doesn't have to know. It's just that… liars like that, people who take advantage of the weak and gullible to stand on top of them, I can't stand them, more than anything.
And if that makes me a hypocrite, then so be it.
I have to wonder if she'll realize his disappearance is related or not, how she'll feel then. What happens then? Will she try to break the contract, or will she just keep going like this?
I guess I'll find out! But no matter what happens…
At least it won't be boring.