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Charmi was laying in her room in the Pendants, resting after the insane past few days.
Their struggles here in the First far from over, they still had to find a way to go home, but finally they had a moment to breathe.
And that she did as she let out a sigh laying on her bed, giving her body some rest.
But while her body was resting, her mind could do anything but.
She kept thinking about her recently revealed old friend G'raha Tia.
After all that time, it was him all along, he is the Exarch.
She had thought him gone forever, no way they would be able to open the tower doors in her lifetime she thought for sure.
They had been really close friends, and losing him scarred her.
It had been the first time in her life to lose someone so close to her.
When she was being consumed by light, all she could see was the light but then there was his face as he was about to sacrifice himself yet again.
She didn't know what to feel at that time, the light was doing who knows what to her body anyway.
But then he got shot and he got taken, and she wanted nothing else but to go save him and bring him back to her in one piece.
Everything was happening so fast all the time ever since she got to the First, she hadn't had a moment to really think about it.
The Exarch is G'raha, and she was still trying to figure out her feelings and thoughts.
As she was laying there thinking, there was a knock on the door.
She laid there for a moment biting her lip, she was very tempted not to answer but with a sigh "Who is it?".
The voice that came from the other side she instantly recognised "It's the Exarch, i wanted to make sure you were alright. They told me you have been resting".
She laid there thinking about what to say, should she even let him in.
After a moment of silence, she spoke "Door is open, come in".
He opened the door and slowly walked in, looking around for her.
She sat up on her bed to greet him and he walked to her.
"I apologise if i interrupted your rest".
She shook her head showing that it was alright.
He continued "It was quite the battle so you deserve the rest, and rest assured knowing we will find a way to get everyone home"
She looked down, always the serious subject, not a word about what happened, his hiding himself.
He noticed her head turning "As for the means to, i promise i will do my utmost best to search for a solution" he swallowed hard before his next sentence "But if worst does come to worst i will be fully willing to make the sacrifice."
"Yeah you're good at that"
The words had left her mouth in a mutter before she could stop them, and oh boy she wished she had.
But he heard her loud and clear, he felt the sting in his heart as he too looked to the ground.
A tense silence filled the room, neither really knowing what to say next.
He knew fully well that what he had done in the past hurt her, he knew it then and looking at her now, it looked like the wounds were still there.
How recent has it been for her he wondered.
He rubbed his own arm and shuffled a little on his feet.
She bit her lip again, should she let everything out? Tell him everything that laid on her shoulders?
But she couldn't, just couldn't.
She was about to speak when he beat her to it "I-i should go, let you rest" he turned to the door without looking at her.
Sitting at the edge of the bed she watched him walk through the door, a very similar image found it's way back into her mind.
She wanted to say something to stop him but no words came out.
And she watched his back as the door closed behind him yet again.
She clenched her fists, knuckles turning white, as a single tear rolled down her cheek.
Why could she not do it, why couldn't she say something.
She laid back down in bed, hands in her hair in frustration.
It had been a few days since that evening and every meeting they had had she had found it difficult to meet his eyes.
And it seemed she was not the only one, as hard as he tried to keep up his Exarch act, he could not make eye contact with her.
Atleast they seemed to be making progress on getting them home.
Now she was once again laying in bed thinking about him.
What was wrong with her, why did this bother her so much. It felt like there was a boulder sitting on her chest.
They had to talk, that much she knew, but didn't have a clue where to start, what to even say to him because she herself didn't know how she felt about this situation they were in.
Fed up with herself and the whole situation she figured the first step was facing him, she would probably just say whatever came to mind, yeah that could work.
So she got up and made her way to the tower.
Standing in front on the giant door the guard greeted her in his usual fashion.
She was hesitant for a moment, but mentally kicking herself she made her way inside.
Once again she stood still at the door to the Ocular, her mind racing with things she could say.
But her time had run out when she heard footsteps from inside coming closer and the door opened.
"Oh! Charmi!" The surprise was clear on his face "I was just about to... uhm.. come in" and he stepped aside to let het pass.
She walked in and he moved to his spot to face her, eagerly waiting for her to speak.
But she didn't, she just looked to the floor, his head tilted trying to study her face.
"What do you need?" He tried to get something out of her.
She closed her eyes, frustrated with herself for not being able to say anything.
Hands forming into fists again "I-i can't.. Never mind!" She almost yelled and she turned to the door to walk out.
Just as she was about to reach the door "Wait!" She heard footsteps from behind her and she felt a hand on her wrist.
"Please let me go G'ra..." she did not finish that sentence.
"No, please talk to me" It almost sounded like a beg as his hold on her wrist tightened, his own frustration coming through.
"Let me go Exarch" she said this time with a stern voice and she ripped her hand out of his hold, starting to walk again.
Before she could get hold of the door handle, she once again felt his hand on hers.
But he didn't stop there this time, he spinned her around grabbing her other hand and pinned her to the door.
Her eyes widened as she finally looked him in the eyes again.
He looked like his own actions surprised him for a moment but his face quickly turned back to resolve "You came here. Why? Why did you come here?"
She stared at him, eyes shooting between his two red piercing eyes.
She felt her heart beating strong and fast, from her chest all the way up to her ears.
His eyes fixed on hers "I'm sorry alright! About everything! I told you my apology! You especially i said!"
"You owe me more than an apology!"
As she yelled out she started to feel lightheaded.
She couldn't take it anymore.
Her head fell and she laid her forehead on his shoulder.
"C-Charmi?" His voice softened, almost liķe a whisper.
She knew why now, she understood what this feeling was, she knew exactly what he had taken with him into that tower.
His hold on her hands loosened and he dropped them to their sides but he didn't let go, nor did she try to take her hands out of his.
She closed her eyes as she finally spoke "It hurt when you left, you were my dear friend and i lost you".
He held her hands and just listened as she continued "I was so hurt and tried to move on, make more friends but i just lost more people. Seeing the tower again, i stupidly had hope. And then you lied, i asked about you and you lied to me" her hold on his hands tightened.
He felt he needed to respond this time "I know, and i am sorry i lied. But you know why i did right?"
She nodded on his shoulder "I understand yes, i would have stopped you if i knew, but that doesn't mean it did not hurt when i saw your face".
He lowered his head at her words, gently leaning his head on hers.
"I don't want to lose you again". She muttered in a whisper.
His ears shot up, his eyes widened and he felt his face heat up, it took a moment until he found his tongue again "A-as much as i wish i could, i can not promise anything" he felt her sigh so he continued "But i do wish to find some way to return with you, if possible".
She shot up at this looking him in the eyes again, seeing the blush on his cheeks and he could see her own "W-what?".
He smiled at her "It would be an added bonus. But i will look for a way that keeps everyone safe, a way that spares my life. Does that ease your mind?".
"Yes.." she placed her forehead on his shoulder again, trying to hide her face that she knew had turned red.
His smile still on his face he moved one hand and placed it on her head, and her now free hand found his robe to hold.
They stood like that for a bit until her head started to lay heavier on his shoulder, as she was starting to feel tired after finally getting her thoughts off of her chest.
"You should head back to bed my friend, you still need your rest." He removed his hands from her, trying to get her to move aswell.
"Yeah you're right" she sighed as she looked up to him with a smile "Don't you stay awake too long either".
"I won't, i promise" he returned her smile "Have a good night Charmi".
"Good night, G'raha" she said with a cheeky smile.
He looked a little surpised to hear his name but gave her a fond smile, remembering her cheekiness from when they were younger.
With a slight wave, she turned to the door and walked out.
Now alone in the Ocular, he placed his hand on his chest "Oh how i wish, i wish it will work".
Outside the tower Charmi finds it started to rain while she was inside.
She stood there for a moment, letting the rain fall on her.
She placed her hand on her chest, as much as her new realised feelings confused her, could she dare to feel hopeful for the future?