Chapter Text
The clicking of shoes against the wooden floors was driving me mad, although it had just begun. I looked up as the new worker approached me, flashing me a brief smile as he picked up the empty plate I had sat on the coffee table. As he walked away, I couldn’t help but be frustrated.
I hadn’t asked him to do that. Why did he do that? Was it to check up on me? Probably.
My nose twitched as I adjusted myself on the seat. I guess I hadn’t been as lively as I should be. Hadn’t eaten a lot the past few months.
Thoughts crept back into my mind, ones I had been desperately trying to suppress for the better part of an hour. My fist pressed against my cheek as I glared at the butler from my spot on the couch.
Thanks a lot, asshole.
Fingernails snuck their way between my teeth before I quickly retracted them with a shake. I needed to break that habit soon.
Glint on the picture frame to my right caught my eye. I hated looking at it. It brought me immediately back into my slump.
The family picture. Dad, mom, and me.
My chin filled my palm as I resigned myself to my fate.
Staring at the picture was oddly hypnotic. It brought me to a different time— a time less than a year ago. Dad sitting in nearly this exact spot with his cane, mom and her extravagant fashion sense, me sporting a pair of sunglasses I had surely broken by now.
A smirk crossed my face. How had I managed to break so many? It felt like they were destined to break after I wore them once.
My smile faded as I looked away. I wonder how many were left from…?
“Miss… Joestar—”
I nearly jumped off the couch, my temper rising with me. “What? What is it?”
The man, who I believe was named Caleb, had only been working here a couple months. He widened his eyes at my response. “I’m sorry, would you like me to call you something—”
“Shizuka!” I stammered out. I licked my lips as I regretted my outburst. “Please, call me Shizuka… Mrs. Joestar was my mom.”
“Oh… oh. My apologies.” His words hung in the air as I fidgeted with my hands. “I wanted to know if you wanted us to make your bed.”
I shook my head. “No… not… not this time.”
“Very well.”
I watched the man turn the corner and walk out of sight.
A lot of them had retired over the years. Even more so after…
I scowled.
The constant rotation of short term workers didn’t bother me. It was par for the course for people in a job like that. Even the ones I had gotten to know well— Rosas had practically raised me, to be honest— I hadn’t been too upset about.
Whenever I inevitably revealed my power— and it WAS inevitable— dad was always quick to explain it for me, or show his own. He would tell the stories he was somehow still holding onto to these entranced strangers… and they would look at me with intrigue. I was just a part of the Joestar experience, I suppose.
But now… I was a freakshow. No matter how I explained my abilities, no matter how hard I tried to share my father’s stories… I was always viewed as a one-of-a-kind. Something not to be provoked.
Something dangerous. To be feared.
I hated it. I hated it with a passion in my soul I had never quite experienced before.
Continuing to stare at the blank space, I pulled out my phone and typed in the passcode before finally prying my eyes away from their fixation.
Worry shot down my spine as I read my notifications.
There were multiple missed calls from Jotaro… along with a text.
“Call me as soon as you can.”
My breath got caught in my throat. Jotaro rarely instigated any form of communication, and any kind of calm conversation was not met with such fervor.
Something was going on. Something bad for sure.
I quickly hit the redial button as I shot up from my seat, my feet leaving the warm puffy rug and onto the icy hardwood floor as I approached the window.
Ring.
Ring.
One of the edges of my fingernails snapped between my teeth. While I mentally scolded myself, I’d let it go this time.
Ring.
The line buzzed on the other end, but distant laughter and chatter could be heard on the other end.
“Jotaro!” I nearly shouted into the phone, jerking my hand away from my face.
“...Shizuka?”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s me!” His tone was calm, but anxiety was coursing through me wildly. “What’s wrong? Why did you call me?”
He went quiet for a moment. “...I was wondering how you were doing.”
“Oh.”
He didn’t respond.
I swallowed, looking out at the shadowy and glowing cityscape. “I’m fine,” I responded, frowning at the nail I had bitten. “I’m getting up more, watching stuff… eating more. I’m getting there.”
“That’s good to hear. You’ve been on my mind. Are you sure you don’t want us—”
“I’m fine! Really.” My answer was tinged with a pleasant tone, although the constant insistence was annoying me. They had been asking me if I wanted someone to live with me for months now, but I wanted nothing more than to be alone.
Another round of laughter came from the background of wherever Jotaro was. “I expected that. You do have your butlers and other workers in case you need anything.”
“Yeah, I do.” My words felt uncertain, but I continued the conversation. “Thanks for worrying about me. I wish you’d call more often.”
“I try,” he responded. “But you know… work keeps me busy.”
I nodded to myself. Not only did he work primarily as a marine biologist, he occasionally had to deal with Stand user-related issues. “Yeah, I know.”
Jotaro was one of the only other Stand users in my life. I never saw his Stand, nor Jotaro himself much, but it was comforting to think that I wasn’t the only odd one left in the world. Although it didn’t solve my problem, since nobody around here would know. Heck, almost no non-Stand users did.
He kept his ability under wraps from almost everyone; I guess that was an advantage to having a Stand like his. An ability that only came out when he needed or wanted it. Sounded almost too good to be true from my perspective.
There was a shout in the background.
Jotaro let out a grunt of confusion. “...what?”
A response.
“Oh… Shizuka…” Jotaro answered from a distance.
“—ven gonna tell me?! You’re the worst.” There was a lot of shuffling on the other end, before the interjecting voice came through in full force. “Shizuka! God, is it really you?”
I smiled at the ground. “Irene?”
“Hell yeah!” she responded with a laugh. “It's been way too long. How are things? How are you doing?”
“I’m okay,” I shied away from giving her the details I had given Jotaro. “How are you guys?”
She sighed. “We’re making it, I guess. Annakiss accidentally taught Josie how to say ‘fuck’ the other day.”
I sputtered a laugh into the phone. “Really? No way.”
Irene audibly moved the phone in excitement. “He really did! It was funny at first… but then I started wondering if she was going to say it in front of other people…”
While I was giggling, I heard Jotaro in the background.
Irene halfway covered the receiver. “—ou said it in front of me too! Give us a break.” she returned to the call, despite another interjection by Jotaro. “Anyway, has anyone come up to visit you? Dad said you kept blowing people off, it's not like you.”
Frustration came out in an exhale. “I’m fine, I just want to be alone right now.”
“Bullshit!” she called out fiercely, before laughing it off. “Apparently being alone hasn’t helped. It's been basically half a year, and you’re not feeling better. It's time to try something different. Maybe I should—”
My eyebrows furrowed as I glared at the ground. “What did you say?” I snapped in near disbelief.
“Wait, I didn’t mean it lik—”
“I lost both of them… you think that’s something someone can get over? In less than a year?”
“Shizuka—”
“You have no clue what this is like. There’s nobody here for me. I’m all alone.”
“That’s what I’m trying to say, damn it!” Irene laughed into the phone, despite her aggravation being evident. “I’m trying to be there for you. A lot of us are. But you keep pushing us away, even after we gave you time to try your dumbass method.”
Jotaro was trying to step in on the other end, but Irene was evidently evading his efforts.
“We’ve been trying to give you your space— I know how you are,” Irene said, her voice calming down. “But we’re worried. You haven’t been picking up our calls… I’m surprised we actually got a hold of you this time. You didn’t want us to come over for the holidays, which I completely understand… but when was the last time you went outside? When was the last time you talked to someone other than the people working for you?”
I knew the answers. Talking was difficult, it just reminded me how lonely I was. The idea of celebrating the holidays without mom and dad was infinitely worse than not having any at all. And if there wasn’t a point in going out, why would I?
It was all stupid reasons, but ones I couldn’t move past.
“Just leave me alone.” I choked out.
I hit the end call button before she could continue. As I did, the phone unexpectedly vanished from sight. I heard it knock against the floor, but I had no clue where. Great.
A couple of workers were staring at me from a nearby room. It wasn’t the first time I had accidentally used my powers in front of them, but the way they were looking at me... wide, shocked eyes, the pitied tilt of their brows…
...it was nearly unbearable.
I felt my eyes welling up.
My hand shot up to the pair of sunglasses I kept on me at all times and I pulled them over my eyes. “S-stop looking at me.” I choked out as I turned my face away and rushed to my room.
By the time the door was shut behind me, my physical body was completely invisible. All that could be seen of me was my clothing. I curled up under my covers in case anyone tried to come in and check on me.
Mentally, I was a wreck. Dad said I disappeared all the time when I was a baby, in fact I spent most of my infant years invisible. But as I aged, I managed to control my power… and I had kept from turning myself invisible with ease.
It was only in these high stress situations that it became difficult. Even then, I had been able to control it. I had only slipped up a handful of times before they died.
This was different.
Ever since mom’s funeral, I felt myself vanishing a lot more than usual. And I figured I would… my Stand was intrinsically tied to my emotional state, and in a time with such volatile emotions…
...and when dad died, well, it was too much.
Raising my hand up, I looked through where it should be. It was impossible to tell where it was, aside from that natural, self locating part of myself. Anyone else would have no clue, unless they happened to bump into me. Hiding myself… vanishing from everyone was easily possible.
I let my hand fall back onto my bed in front of my face.
Maybe it was better that way.