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Kokichi was used to the stark white walls and antiseptic scent of the hospital. As someone with a chronic disease, the hospital was basically his second home.
He knew the in and outs of the premises, he knew the rotation of nurses and memorized the schedules of everything that ever happens. But his familiarity with the hospital went beyond just the building itself. He was also friends with a lot of his fellow patients, getting to know them while they waited for their treatments or just to be able to spend some time with real people.
Kokichi knew everyone here but this particular girl was new.
He was just returning to his room after a walk around the hospital, something he liked to fit into his daily endeavors, and there he saw her. The girl had pretty bubblegum blue hair paired with the biggest navy blue eyes he’s ever seen. “ Beautiful. ” That was the first thing that came to mind upon laying eyes on her.
When the strange girl turned to face him, he felt the air get knocked out of his lungs. She smiled at him, eyes turning into small crescents. “Hi there!” She said brightly. “My mom works here and she told me we’re the same age. I’m Miwa by the way.”
Kokichi felt his throat dry. “I’m Kokichi. Is your mom Nurse Kasumi?”
Miwa nodded happily. “That’s right! You know, she often tells me that you’re one of the nicest people here.”
His cheeks flushed at the compliment. He didn’t think he was nice but hearing it made his heart pick up its pace. “Not really…” He denied, rubbing the nape of his neck. “Are you volunteering here?”
Miwa hummed. “Yup. I was told that you also know everyone here.”
“I guess you can say that…” He said slowly.
Miwa giggled. “Give yourself more credit, Kokichi. I’m looking forward to getting to know you and the rest of the patients better. But first, how are you feeling?” Miwa inquired, raising the clipboard in her hand.
At that very moment, Kokichi felt a shift in his world and it was as if he could see a stream of light enter the dark room he called his life.
As a person with a ticking time bomb on his life, Kokichi wasn’t attached to material things. Even before his sickness took a turn for the worse, he never tied himself to materialistic desires or invested in friendships. Sure, he enjoyed things like reading but not so much that he would miss it. As for friendships, he didn’t want to put anyone in the position of having to maximize every moment with him in fear that he might die the next day.
He had little to no experience with social interactions and that’s why this feeling was so new to him.
At first, he wasn’t expecting to get so attached to Kasumi Miwa but he did. It was a new feeling and he didn’t know if he liked it yet. Maybe he did because he knew he liked Miwa and that was enough.
But as time passed and they got closer to each other, Kokichi could feel his sickness worsen. Day by day, he could feel his body shutting down, feel the burning sensation of pins and needles spread through his entire being. He could basically feel his own life force slip out of his grip and he couldn’t do anything about it.
But he pushed through the pain for Miwa.
He couldn’t let her see that he was hurting. No, that wasn’t an option he was willing to explore. He couldn’t do that to her, never to her.
So as he died in silence, they continued to get to know each other more.
But time in the hourglass eventually runs out and Kokichi was on his final drops of sand.
He knew that when he fainted in the middle of his conversation with Miwa. He woke up a few hours later with Miwa sitting beside him, a terrified look on her face.
“Kokichi, be honest with me okay?” Miwa says softly, hand caressing his cheek. “Are you dying?”
Kokichi just smiled. “I’ve been dying for years, Miwa. You know this.”
The smile on Miwa’s face fell and Kokichi felt his heart drop to his stomach. “But it’s getting worse.” The girl said.
When silence met her statement, Miwa frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me I was making you feel worse? I could have stopped visiting so you could -”
Kokichi shook his head, taking her hands in his. “No, Miwa. You weren’t making things worse.” He could hear his own voice, so frail, and hear his own bones creak as though he were an old man. “In fact, you were the only thing that kept me grounded. In the short time we knew each other, you managed to show and make me feel things I’ve never felt before.”
Kokichi smiled and pressed a kiss to Miwa’s forehead. “You’re my home, Miwa.”
Miwa’s lips trembled. “Then why does it feel like it’s my fault?” She cried.
The older teen turned to face her properly and despite all the protests of his body, he wrapped his arms around the blue haired girl and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, laying her head on his chest.
Miwa fiercely returned the hug, tears running down her cheeks and onto Kokichi’s powder blue hospital gown. Kokichi still smelled like antiseptic and disinfectant but Miwa smelled like peppermint and marshmallows. Kokichi took a deep breath and tried to ingrain the scent into his brain.
“You made me feel so loved, Miwa. You couldn’t have loved me better.” Kokichi whispered, a lone tear sliding down his cheek. He could feel the tiredness seep into his bones, limbs growing heavy and sight growing dim. A sigh escaped his lips as he tried to pull Miwa closer to him, the space between them finally nonexistent. “But I want you to move on cause… I’m already… Gone.”
A few seconds passed and he slumped into Miwa’s arms. Miwa felt her eyes widen and her heart’s rate picked up. “Koki?” She whispered. She could no longer feel the rise and fall of his chest, his voice no longer there for her to listen to.
Realization hit Miwa like a wrecking ball and a sob left her lips as she pulled Kokichi closer to her. A wail left her lips as she felt his body slowly grow colder, limbs locking.
But as sobs left her lips and as the pain spread through her chest, she finally realized that warm embraces could also feel so cold.
One second he was there and the next he was gone.