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He walked into the room with her unconscious in his arms.
She was bloodied and worse for wear. He was clean and well-kept.
She had tears in her eyes. He wore a stoic expression.
She would be seen as the failure. And he, the hero, the walking god on earth, the honored one.
When Shoko walks over to check on Utahime's vitals, Gojo reassures her that she's fine, that she just needs to rest. And he lays her on one of the few remaining empty beds in the infirmary.
Slowly but surely, Shoko's makeshift hospital near the warzone was filling up with injured sorcerers.
"Gojo," Utahime weakly calls out. She had no earthly clue where she was. And she couldn't think straight, couldn't see through the blinding lights. But she calls out to him. And with a deep pain, with a deep loathing, she tells him as her tears spill out from her eyes; "I will never forgive you."
Gojo doesn't bat an eye. And he just disappears, returns to the battlefield, leaving Utahime faint, as she finally broke down and buried her painful sobs into the dirtied sheets of her bed; her heart breaking, her body shaking from an immeasurable ache.
"Nishimiya, Miwa," She held her hands up and stopped them. "It's okay." She makes them stop. "Help is on the way."
"Sensei!" Miwa cried as Momo held her back. "Don't." She fell to her knees. "Don't do it, please!"
Utahime smiles at them, a peaceful calm fills her. This day was a long time coming.
"It's okay." She tells them again. "Gojo will save you. So, it's okay. It'll be okay."
Miwa bit her lip and shook and sobbed. And Momo could only hold her in her embrace, and she tried to be strong for her kouhai. But she also couldn't help the tears from streaming down her face.
And the three of them start falling, the remnants of the domain around them shattering and engulfing them into oblivion.
As she starts to fall, she sees her students in the distance. And she closes her eyes and begins to welcome the only rest a jujutsu sorcerer will ever know.
"Sensei!" Her heart breaks at Miwa's desperate cry.
And she falls. She falls into a nothingness.
The only comfort that met her was knowing that within seconds, Gojo would come and save their students.
So, she lets herself fall.
She lets herself fall when she suddenly feels a weight around her waist. She feels a force hold her in place. And she looks behind her in a growing horror, a dread building in her gut.
And she sees his stoic, indifferent sapphire eyes gazing down at her.
"Why," She nearly passes out from a rage. "Why are you here?!"
And her head snaps and looks into the distance as she was pulled away. And she sees Miwa and Momo look up at her, their eyes lost for a second, before the building falls and consumes them.
"WHY?!" Her screech echoed in an unbearable pain as she could do no more than watch the horrific waking nightmare unfold before her.
She had lost consciousness when Gojo lands on the plain a few kilometers away, on the soft grass covered by the mildew of the early morning.
And as he holds her in his arms, as he carefully lies her head to his chest, he looks back and takes note of the two sources of cursed energy that faded and disappeared into nothing.
His gaze drifts down to Utahime's tears. And he gently wipes them away with his thumb and for a while, he just stays there and holds her close.
As Utahime cried herself to sleep, she kept blaming herself. She kept hating herself. And she kept thinking how she would never forgive Gojo for what he's done.
Worse, she would never know why he chose to save her.
She'd wonder if it was because she had a better chance of survival.
If it was because she was a semi-first grade sorcerer while her students were just third and semi-two levels.
If it was because she would be needed more in battle.
If he merely decided to save her on a whim.
Or if he wanted her to suffer through the living nightmare of failing to protect those who matter to you most.
When she asks him with a pained voice, when they were resting. For those few minutes they allowed themselves rest, she corners him and asks him why. Why her. Why?!
"Utahime." He simply tells her. "You'll always come first."
Her brows knot in confusion. And she looks up at him with a lost, frustrated expression. "What?"
And an anger flashes in her eyes.
"Why?!" She demanded for the millionth time since then.
His sapphire eyes were cold as her looked into her heated gaze.
"Because you're weak."
And she slaps him. And she hits him. And she shakes and sinks to her knees in defeat. Because she couldn't even touch him.
"Please." She begged him. "Please turn off your infinity." She cried.
And he crouches down to her level. And he looks at the pain in her eyes.
And she slaps him across his cheek. His face reddens instantly. His face numbed and throbbed.
"Are you done?"
She slaps him again.
And he sighs and closes his eyes.
"I don't ever want you to think of me. I don't ever want you to even utter my name. Don't speak to me. Don't think of me. And don't you dare save me again."
And she leaves him. And she returns to the battlefield.
And Gojo tries to sleep. He tries to rest.
He was so tired, he thought as he leaned back on the couch and looked at the rotting ceiling above him.
He was so tired.
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