Chapter Text
They had talked about it. Kids. They had talked about it but they had never taken it that far. It was weird being in a relationship when you couldn’t follow the steps. It was marriage before kids but they couldn’t get married so they didn’t have kids. They had done a check-up for IVF but Addison was almost infertile and Meredith had a hostile uterus so they hadn’t taken it any further.
They had been together for five years and Meredith was going into her fifth year of residency when Alex came to Addison and Arizona and proposed the Africa Programme to bring kids over here to perform amazing surgeries. Addison hadn’t been expecting Alex to go this far so soon, maybe she and Arizona had done a better job at training him up than she thought, she expected it to take him a bit longer to get to this point.
Karev was running it all, Addison had three different surgeries over the week on top of all of her usual patients. It was a surgical gold mine of unusual and unknown conditions at stages Addison could have never even dreamed of seeing in her lifetime.
“I am going solo on a general surgery tomorrow,” Meredith practically skipped into the kitchen, pressing a kiss to Addison’s cheek, “and today Derek is letting me take the lead on his spina bifida patient today.”
Addison smiled brightly and handed Meredith her coffee, “I have a patient with AIDS, TB and a frozen abdomen at only three months old.”
“How?” Meredith stopped running around and leant over the counter to listen to Addison.
“It started before she was even born,” Addison sighed, “The surgery is a difficult long shot but she will die without it.”
“You’ll do great,” Meredith smiled, “You’re awesome.” Addison walked around the counter to her girlfriend and pressed a kiss to her lips before she slipped her hand into Meredith’s. They needed to leave or they would be late for rounds.
After Addison’s surgery had thankfully been a success but when she came out there was a text from Meredith, just telling her to come to a random room on the paediatrics floor. Maybe Addison shouldn’t have instantly assumed that something was going wrong or that Meredith was freaking out because when she got there Meredith was just holding a very cute baby in her arms.
“Spina bifida patient?” Addison asked, leaning against the door to the room.
“This is Zola. She hadn’t stopped crying since she was born and instantly taken to the orphanage,” Meredith smiled, walking up and down to keep the baby calm, “The woman that had worked with her in the orphanage since her birth said she had never stopped crying.”
“She’s not crying,” Addison smiled, taking a step into the room and going up to Meredith. Meredith stopped walking up and down in front of Addison.
“She stopped crying when I picked her up,” Meredith smiled brightly, Zola was trying to eat the band around her wrist. Addison reached up and pulled it out of her mouth before she hurt her gums on the plastic on the band. Her fist wrapped around Addison’s fingers. She was very cute.
“That’s why you had me come here?” Addison asked, looking from Zola to Meredith.
“Kids,” Meredith took a deep breath, she looked nervous and Addison knew what she was suggesting.
“We haven’t spoken about this since we had that check,” Addison refocused her attention on Zola and the finger that she had stolen, she had a tight grip and an amazing little smile. Addison’s other hand had found its way into Meredith’s tight grip, a thumb rubbing over the back of her hand.
“I know,” Meredith smiled, “but I also know you.” Addison knew what Meredith was referring to. She knew Addison wanted kids. Addison wanted kids so much.
Addison squeezed her girlfriend’s hand gently and looked at the baby in Meredith’s arm, she could be their baby. She looked back up at Meredith and just gave her a small nod, “Let’s talk about this tonight,” she smiled.
“Tonight,” Meredith confirmed, smiling brightly back at her. Addison’s pager went off and her hand fell from Meredith’s so she could check it.
“Consult in the ER,” Addison sighed, pressing a kiss to Meredith’s cheek before she went to leave but something was holding her back, someone still gripping her finger very tightly. Meredith laughed lightly as Zola babbled incoherently. Addison walked back to them and pried her finger from Zola’s fist, Meredith replaced Addison’s finger with hers.
“Go,” Meredith told her, her unrestrained and bright smile never left her face. It was one of Addison’s favourite things to see, her favourite smile of Meredith’s. It didn’t come around often.
“I love you,” Addison pressed a quick kiss to her lips before she ran off.
“I love you too,” Meredith called after her.
Addison was home long before Meredith, she had to trade off with her intern at the end of her shift and Addison had the time to head home early. It meant she had time to cook before she was distracted by Meredith and ended up burning it or wrecking it and they had to order takeout again. She was good at cooking as long as Meredith didn’t come near the food. Meredith really should never be allowed near food that was being cooked.
“You cooked?” when Addison looked up Meredith was leaning against the doorframe in the kitchen.
“I can do it when you don’t distract me,” Addison smiled, picking up the plates on the island and taking them over to the dining table. Meredith came and joined her at the table as they heard Lexie came in. “There’s a plate in the microwave,” she called out loudly into the hallway.
“I saw a five-year-old with a heart outside her body,” Lexie smiled as she came into the kitchen, going straight over to the microwave.
They didn’t have a chance to talk until later that night when Addison got out of the shower as Meredith read up on her surgery the next day. Addison brought it up as she went over to the chest of drawers. "So you mentioned something earlier today," she started, she didn't look at Meredith, mainly at the drawer she had open.
"Is this your way of bringing up the whole kids thing?" Addison heard Meredith close the textbook and she turned to face her.
"Did you mean it?" Addison asked as she dropped her towel so she could put her underwear on. Meredith went completely silent. "Did you?" she asked again, hoping and praying that Meredith did.
"I literally cannot focus on a word you are saying Addie," Meredith laughed, throwing a sleep shirt in her direction. Addison couldn't help but laugh too as she pulled it on with some shorts and went over to the bed.
"I asked if you meant it," Addison repeated, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her girlfriend's lips.
"I meant it," Meredith smiled as Addison pulled away, “I want to have a baby with you, Addie.”
Addison tucked a hair behind Meredith’s ear and kissed her lightly again, “I want to have a baby with you too, Mer,” she whispered.
Meredith took a moment just looking into Addison’s eyes but Addison could see she was building up to saying something. She just waited patiently for Meredith to say whatever it was. “I have to warn you, though,” Meredith started, “I will probably be a terrible mother, I’ve never had anyone decent to model it off and-”
Addison just kissed her to shut her up. She didn’t believe a single word that Meredith was saying and anything she was going to say. “It just means you know what not to do,” Addison assured her, “and most of the time that is more important.”
“Do you know anything about international adoption?” Meredith asked with a laugh.
“I have absolutely no clue,” Addison smiled, sitting back against the headboard next to Meredith.
It was in the morning that Addison called her lawyer to ask about a family lawyer to help with international adoptions and then she instantly placed a call into the lawyer she recommended. By the time that Meredith had gotten out of her five-hour early morning surgery, she had a checklist of requirements they needed to meet from the lawyer in her email inbox.
“You know it’s my lunchtime, right?” Meredith smiled as she came into Addison’s office, paging Meredith probably wasn’t the best thing but Addison had her phone on her desk so she had really no other choice.
“You forgot your phone this morning,” Addison smiled, handing her the device as she stole a kiss from her lips, “and I called my lawyer who recommended another lawyer who sent me a list of requirements for international adoption.”
“That fast?” Meredith asked in disbelief as she took the seat at Addison’s desk and went into her drawers where they both knew Addison kept extra food. Addison picked up the pages that had been sitting in the printer and passed them to her girlfriend.
“This is a lot,” Meredith flipped through them.
“The last bits are all forms for an application, the first page is just the requirements,” Addison explained, leaning over Meredith’s shoulder to look at the pages.
“Well, we are both US Citizens over 25 and we definitely earn within the income guidelines,” Meredith read through the document and stopped at the next bullet point. Marriage or domestic partnership.
“One of those we can’t do and the other is just a case of filing a few papers,” Addison smiled, stealing a crisp from the packet that Meredith had opened.
“Addison,” Meredith smiled, turning her head to look up at her, “Do you want to be my domestic partner?”
“Yes,” Addison smiled as they met each other’s lips in a chaste kiss because of how much they were both smiling. Addison pulled away and tucked a loose hair behind Meredith’s ear before she cupped her face, her hand resting under her chin and rubbing her thumb on her cheek. Addison couldn’t believe she had gotten so lucky.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Meredith leant her face against Addison’s hand and smiled softly.
“Me neither,” Addison leant forward and pressed another light kiss to her lips.
“What else do we need to do?” Meredith looked back at the page, it was just a home study and a lot of paperwork. Meredith had a consult in the ER but Addison had a slow day so she found herself visiting the Pediatrics Floor where she found Zola awake and crying. The nurses were distracted with so many other patients they hadn’t noticed so Addison just lifted her up and she instantly started to calm down.
“Hey, Zola,” Addison smiled, checking her neuro reflexes as she moved around a little to help calm her down. She was grabbing for her finger as soon as Addison tried to move it in front of her eyes, it was clear her reflexes were good. “You’re doing so well,” Addison laughed, letting her take hold of her finger.
Addison didn’t know how long she stayed but she was forced to leave when she got a page. Zola had fallen asleep on her shoulder, her fist gripping the edge of Addison scrub top and her head resting on Addison’s shoulder. It was by some miracle she didn’t wake up as Addison laid her in the crib and then it was a run to OR 3.
She found Meredith later that afternoon in Zola’s room, doing the same as Addison had done earlier on that day. “You know if we want to file the papers today, we need to leave,” she smiled, leaning against the entrance to the room.
“I know,” Meredith smiled, taking a deep breath as she held Zola close to her chest, patting her back gently as she rocked her.
“Meredith,” Addison walked into the room and went over to her girlfriend, pressing a kiss to her temple as she wrapped an arm around her waist, “You need to be back this evening anyway, you’re on-call for the trauma patient and I can come in with you and we can be here.”
“You don’t have to be right all the time,” Meredith muttered with a deep sigh.
Getting a domestic partnership was surprisingly easy and formal. It only took them an hour and then they picked up something to eat before they had to make their way back to the hospital. Zola was asleep when they got there so they ate in an on-call room before they tried to get some sleep of their own.
They spent more time with Zola as they started to file the paperwork, it moved quite quickly because it was a direct adoption of an orphan already in the USA, which cut out a lot of the normal steps. Within a few days that they had a social worker assigned to their case and a date for interviews and a home study set, all within the fortnight of which they filed the paperwork. Addison was thinking of Zola as her daughter, just in her head, before they even had their interviews with the social worker.
The interviews came before the home study. Meredith had been more panicked than anyone else. Addison panicked but she hid it better than Meredith who basically carried the baby book all the time since she had gotten hold of it.
“I have the worst role model,” Meredith paced the small length of Zola’s room, clutching the book to her chest, “My mother was as nurturing as a steak knife.”
“I know,” Addison smiled sympathetically, “and if your theory that bad mothers raise bad mothers is correct then I don’t know why I’m here.”
Meredith stopped pacing and spun to face Addison, “I forgot about Bizzy.”
“That’s the best way,” Addison laughed, trying to calm a fussy Zola. She hadn’t eaten in a while with another surgery later that day. Derek had put his foot down and wasn’t letting Meredith in this time which didn’t help much with Meredith’s stress levels.
“I wish I could do that with my mother,” Meredith smiled as Addison’s pager went off. Meredith lifted Zola out of Addison’s arms and she checked the pager. She was needed in the NICU.
“I love you,” Meredith smiled, pressing a kiss to Addison’s cheek as she went to leave.
“I love you too,” Addison smiled, she could hear Zola get fussier but she just had to keep on walking, other babies needed her, unfortunately.
Addison sprinted out of her surgery and into the gallery of OR 3. The gallery was empty except for Meredith, Alex had replaced her as the resident on the case and Cristina had an emergency surgery so she was sitting alone.
"They just started," Meredith told her as she took a seat next to her. Addison took a hold of her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, Meredith’s head dropped to her shoulder and they both just watched in complete silence.
“Hey,” Mark came into the gallery as Arizona had started to drain the hydrocephalus fluid from her stomach. Derek was in the OR, observing, in case there was an issue with the stunt. Callie and then Cristina and Teddy joined them as time went on. Even with all the support, Addison didn’t feel like she could breathe until the surgery was over. She couldn’t even move straight away. Everyone else had work to do so they left as soon as Zola was okay but Meredith didn’t make any effort to go anywhere either.
“You have your interview,” Meredith spoke first, “I can go see her in post-op.”
“I know,” Addison sighed, standing up slowly, her hand never leaving Meredith’s. She walked as far as she could with Meredith before they had to go their separate ways and Meredith made her way to post-op.
Their social worker was waiting in one of the conference rooms when Addison walked in. She didn’t look too annoyed that Addison was a couple of minutes, but Addison apologised, explaining that Zola had just gotten out of surgery. “It’s fine,” Janet smiled, “Is Meredith with her?”
“Yeah,” Addison smiled, taking a seat in the chair opposite her. This was the easy part, she told herself. She knew what kind of questions she’d be asked. She could do this.
“Have you had a busy day?” Janet asked, obviously trying to relax her a little.
“Not really,” Addison shrugged, she had had a lot busier than her one today, “It’s the perk of being the Head of Neonatal, I can delegate a lot of my tasks.”
“That’s good,” Janet smiled, “So, why do you want to adopt?”
Addison took a deep breath and started to explain, neither she nor Meredith could have their own children but they wanted them and then the other questions. She was asked about parenting style and then about her understanding of the process and then about challenges Zola may have, where she may have talked about some of the medicine a little too much in her panic (it probably wasn’t best to almost list the symptoms of a shunt revision) and then on her hopes for Zola. She probably spoke for a little too long because when she left Meredith was already waiting outside.
“She woke up and everything is normal,” Meredith updated her quickly as they passed each other.
“I think I might have talked too much,” Addison confessed, stopping Meredith from going in.
“I’m certain you were perfect,” Meredith smiled.
“Why?”
“You’re Addison,” Meredith shrugged, pressing a kiss to her cheek, “It’s an inevitability.” Addison stole a quick kiss from her girlfriend’s lips before they went their separate ways. Meredith to her interview and Addison to see Zola.
When she got there she was crying a lot and refusing to feed. The nurse looked completely panicked, she was a new one, Addison registered her as signing on only recently. “Dr Montgomery,” she smiled in relief when she saw Addison, “Can you try? I don’t think she likes me.”
Addison could instantly see what was wrong, it was all in the hold. Zola still had healing scars, she needed to be held in a specific way so it didn’t hurt her. “Okay,” Addison smiled, she had fed Zola yet in all the time she had spent with her. She took the blanket off the nurse and laid it on her shoulder before she took Zola from her arms and adjusted how she was held and she instantly began to calm down, looking up at Addison. “Hey Zola,” Addison whispered gently, taking the bottle from the nurse and sitting down with her. She gripped her own bottle but she would still be weak after surgery so Addison helped her just a little and she started to feed rather happily.
“Magic touch,” Addison shrugged, she didn’t need to explain everything to a random nurse, although she was pretty sure the whole hospital knew what they were trying to do already. She leant back in the chair and relaxed with Zola in her arms.
Meredith came back when Addison had finished burping her. “Hey,” she smiled, going over to Addison.
“How was it?” Addison asked, letting Meredith lift Zola out of her lap. She just held her close, pressing a kiss to her hair and letting her eyes slip shut.
“It went well,” Meredith nodded, “at least I think it did.”
Addison stood up and looked at the clock over Meredith’s head. They had missed dinner and they were both still in scrubs when they should be at home. “How late is it?” Meredith noticed what she was doing.
“Eight-thirty,” Addison sighed. Meredith’s eyes slipped shut for a second again as she shook her head, she knew they needed to go home at some point. They both knew it but neither of them wanted to leave. They had the home study in a couple of days and they needed to clean the house tomorrow morning before their surgeries. They wouldn’t have another chance to do it before the home study because of how their shifts had worked out.
“Okay,” Meredith pressed another kiss to Zola’s temple before she went over to the crib; she didn’t make any move to put Zola into the crib though.
“It’s not just some resident on-call for her case tonight,” Addison reassured her and herself a little, going over to Meredith, “Derek is here tonight and Arizona is right across the road and we both know Karev is living here with the Africa project too.”
“I know,” Meredith reached for Addison’s hand and gave it a light squeeze before she reached for the heart rate and bp monitor wires and attached them to Zola again. Addison adjusted her IV, moving the bag from its mobile pole to the attachment over the bed. Meredith then lay a very sleepy Zola down into the crib.
They told the nurse that they left the room, both too tired to have a real conversation. Luckily, Meredith had a spare set of clothes in Addison’s office so they just walked down the hall to change before they made their way home to finally get some rest.
The home study was in the evening after their shifts. It hadn’t been an easy day at the hospital but they were home and they had just five minutes to make sure everything was tidy before Janet showed up. Addison was checking downstairs while Meredith had sprinted up the stairs to check everything there.
It was tidy on her end and she could tell by the way Meredith walked down the stairs that everything was in order there as well. "This is a good place to raise kids," Meredith said to no one.in particular, as she sat on the bottom step, "I was raised here. I turned out fine."
"Exactly," Addison smiled, taking a seat next to her.
They both jumped up as the doorbell rang. Then they both stopped, they couldn't really run to the door without looking like idiots. "We can do this,” Addison didn't know who she was trying to reassure as she spoke.
Meredith reached out and took her hand, giving it a light squeeze, “I love you,” she smiled, the words had an almost magical calming effect.
“I love you too,” Addison responded automatically but that didn’t mean it wasn’t sincere, it was always sincere Meredith was the love of her life, it was also automatic because Meredith was the love of her life.
Meredith went to the door first and Addison followed behind her. Then came the polite introductions that fell before the tour. The living first room Ellis' old study had been transformed into a playroom with lots of storage space then the kitchen and dining room, which they barely used anyway. Then up the stairs and around all the bedrooms, explaining that Meredith's sister lived with them as they did.
Their bedroom was last. The cot that Addison and Meredith had put together a couple of nights ago standing by their bed, it was largely empty, the toys that Addison had bought on a whim hiding in the playroom. She seemed happy with it all as they showed her around. It turned out it clearly was because as they showed her to the door she said words that Addison wouldn’t forget her whole life.
“As you know,” she smiled, “Zola is being discharged tomorrow but we don’t want her to spend a night in the care system so we are going to grant you temporary custody of Zola.” Addison didn’t process it right away and Meredith's hand grasped hers and it tied her back to the Earth and she could process it. The words run through her mind. Zola was going to be theirs.
Janet was still talking, telling them about the paperwork they would have to sign at the hospital before they took her home but Addison barely heard. She was going to have a daughter. She and Meredith both managed to maintain a vague facade of dignity and not too emotion until they shut the door behind her and then Addison instantly pulled Meredith into a hug, lifting her off the floor a little.
“Addie,” she squealed, letting out a laugh as she looked into her eyes.
“We’re going to have a daughter,” Addison laughed, letting Meredith’s feet find the ground again. One of Meredith’s hands threaded into the back of her hair and Addison pulled her closer.
“I know,” Meredith whispered with a wide smile before she pulled Addison into a passionate kiss that took all of Addison’s breath away. Addison slipped her hands further down so they rested just below her hips and pulled her girlfriend even closer.
“You know,” Addison whispered as she pulled away, resting her forehead against Meredith’s, “There’s one thing most of my new parent patients tell me consistently,” she smirked.
Meredith shook her head, “What is it?” she smiled, clearly having already figured out where Addison was going with it.
“They have no time for sex,” Addison smiled.
Meredith laughed lightly and pressed a quick kiss to Addison’s lips, “Let’s make the most of tonight then,” she whispered.
The next day, Addison could barely focus on any of her work. She had two labouring mothers, both with babies that had been very sick before she had performed surgery and now both had to be monitored very closely and she didn’t have Karev to do it for her because he was saving a lot of sick children. The interns seemed to not have even completed the basic training to monitor a fetal and maternal heart rate, it was just reading a couple of numbers but apparently, two was two too many.
Addison ended up pulling Lexie off Derek’s post-ops in the end. She was in dire need of someone with half a brain with two mothers in risky labour. Luckily, by the time that six o’clock and Zola’s discharge came around, both babies were born and healthy. Lexie volunteered to observe them overnight and wouldn’t accept anything about an intern’s ability to do it for an answer. She knew Addison didn’t have the time to fight her so Addison just let her sister-in-law win and made her way to her office so she could change.
It was only when she stepped onto the elevator next to her girlfriend that she realised she hadn’t seen her all day. To their luck, there was no one else in the elevator. Meredith’s hand instantly reached for hers, their fingers threading together. “How was your day?” Meredith mumbled, her head falling to Addison’s shoulder.
“The mother of the baby with the amniotic bands from three months ago and the mother of the baby with the heart defect who has been on bed rest went into labour. I had to pull Lexie onto my service,” Addison recounted her day.
“I was on a trauma case, motorbike versus tree and the tree destroyed the man’s abdominal organs,” Meredith explained in return, “Six-hour surgery but he’s stable in the ICU, I transferred the case to Hunt so I won’t get called in tomorrow.” They had both taken a couple of days off just to adjust, they both still had the holiday to do it. Addison planned to take a couple more days after Meredith but she wasn’t going to let her girlfriend miss so much work in her fourth year, no matter how much Meredith said she could afford to take the time off.
The elevator opened and Addison took a deep breath before they both stepped into the hallway, “Let’s go get our daughter,” Meredith whispered, turning to face Addison as they walked.
“Our daughter,” Addison echoed, pressing a light kiss to Meredith’s lips before they started to actually focus on walking to Zola’s room. The social worker, Janet, was already there and talking to Arizona.
They joined the conversation, listening to Arizona just remind them what symptoms to look out for. Addison’s eyes constantly drifted to where Zola lay happily in her crib. Then it was paperwork which they had to sign, it took a long time but then finally they could finally take her home.
Addison lifted their daughter out of the crib and instantly held her close to her chest, a hand supporting her tiny little head as she pressed a kiss to her temple. “Hi Zola,” she whispered as Meredith came up next to them and echoed her words, a hand rubbing over Zola’s back.
-
Addison got home to Meredith lying on the floor of the living room next to Zola. Their adoption had gone through a couple of days ago and she was officially their daughter. The news still hadn’t quite sunk in properly really. Their daughter. She was her mommy and Meredith was her momma and Zola was their daughter.
“What are you doing?” Addison asked, dropping her bag and coat on the couch.
Meredith sat up properly so she looked over at Addison, “I was tired and it looked comfy.”
“I heard about that huge tumour,” Addison smiled, it did look comfy and she took a seat on the floor before she laid down next to Zola, looking up at the ceiling. She could see Meredith do the same out of the corner of her eye.
“Hunt told me I had to declare a speciality,” Meredith told her as Zola laughed at the mobile above her head happily between them. Addison reached out as tickled her stomach gently and she laughed, even more, rolling over so she faced Addison.
Addison lifted her into a hug and looked over at Meredith, “Which do you think Momma declared?” she asked Zola, holding her above her head, she had some sought of a clue what Meredith might declare but she wasn’t 100% sure.
“General,” Meredith rolled onto her side so she could look over at them, “I think I’ve learnt recently that even if I do what my mother did, I’m not like her.”
Addison laid Zola down on her chest and reached out her hand for Meredith’s, her other arm holding Zola close, “You would be amazing in General,” she smiled, “and definitely not because of your genes.”
Meredith smiled softly and picked up the playmat that separated them and moved closer to Addison and Zola. Zola tried to wiggle out of Addison’s arms, crawling to find her favourite giraffe toy that she had spotted on the other side of the room. They both sat up to watch her, Meredith’s head falling to Addison’s shoulder as they did. She stood up as she reached the couch the giraffe was on. That wasn’t something new but still, it made Addison proud, they were waiting for her to walk now. Spina bifida could cause mobility issues but she was standing up on strong legs. She reached out for her giraffe and managed to get a good hold on it.
Then she stopped leaning on the couch and turned around and was standing on her own. That was a little newer but still, she had been doing it for a couple of weeks. But then, instead of falling to her knees to crawl, she took a step and then another.
Addison sat up quickly and so did Meredith. “Addie,” Meredith whispered in complete shock, “Is she walking?”
“She is,” Addison laughed as she got closer to them, a little shaky on her legs.
“Well done Zozo!” Meredith cheered and Addison could only echo her words, she couldn’t believe her eyes. Their little girl was walking.
Zola held out her giraffe toy to Addison. “Thank you, Zola,” she smiled, taking it as Zola took a seat in between them.
Meredith picked her up before she could, lifting her in the air, “You walked!” she exclaimed, letting her feet touch the floor, in between her legs and helping to hold her up and pressing kisses all over her face
“We’re so proud of you, Zo,” Addison leaned over Meredith’s shoulder with a smile.
“And we love you so much,” Meredith added.