Work Text:
I will not ask you where you came from
I will not ask you and neither would you
Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips
We should just kiss like real people do
- Hozier, Like Real People Do
The crunching of the gravel beneath Regina Tiedemann's heels takes her back into reality.
She becomes aware, what kind of expression on her husband's face she just has witnessed.
She already knew his nod was not sincere, the second he moved his head – but she didn't want to pressure him.
She curses herself that it took her so long to actually decide what to do about it.
She turns around and pushes the door open again.
“Who do you think you're fooling?” the door closes soundly behind her and she walks back to Aleksander.
He is still standing at the counter, where she left him.
Unmoving, he just stares at her with his wide stressed out eyes.
She puts her folder and phone above the newspaper, her handbag meets the floor.
“Aleksander,” she asks softly, “Is it okay, if I...”
She raises her arms in question, it takes a moment for him to understand.
The sight of his greyish pale skin is painfully unbearable to her.
He swallows hard and then he nods – this time he means it.
Regina sighs in relief.
“Come here,” she says and wraps her arms around his shoulders and hugs him tight.
Aleksander can't tell how much time passes.
The moment he had read the headline, he disconnected from all his feelings.
He wasn't able to react to his wife's questions and affection the way he would usually do.
If he hadn't read that article, he probably would've been distracted by another one.
Regina would've asked him the same question twice.
He would've smiled at her, “Of course, I'm meeting you there for lunch.”
He would've added an “I look forward to it,” or he would've wished her to enjoy her day.
Perhaps they would've shared a kiss...
He longs to kiss her.
It scares him, that he couldn't get himself to show her the affection he feels for her and the love she deserved,
while being paralysed with fear.
But now, the moment her bare arms encircled him, the emotions are crawling back into his senses.
He feels the warmth of her body on his.
Her ever so coldly fingertips caress over the skin of his neck, wandering through his hair.
Her chest is pressed against his.
Is she able to feel how his heartbeats slow down and how his breathing becomes steady again?
With every short gasp of air he takes, he inhales the scent her hair radiates.
Her waves are tamed into her signature tight bun, but the presence of their softness always calms him.
She always does that to him.
It takes all these moments and impressions for him to get his tense muscles to react to her touch.
He puts his hands on her back, his palms touch the smooth fabric of her silk blouse.
Aleksander closes his eyes.
His lids fall shut exhaustedly as he rests his forehead against her collarbone.
Regina nestles her head against his. She adjusts her arms and pulls him even closer to herself.
One of her hands draws firm circles all over his shoulder blades, while the other is still touching his hair.
He wants to weep.
Crawl into her embrace.
Let himself be consumed by Regina's everlasting pure love – which he never deserved in the first place.
He can't look into the sorrowful depths of her eyes.
How does he dare to continue living the life he pretends to own for any longer?
The silence is as heavy as the pressure he feels – his mind is blank.
What can he tell her now?
What could be an available excuse?
What kind of lie fits best in this scenario?
He decides to stay quiet.
He tries to linger in the moment.
Perhaps it's the last time, she'll hug him in this so unconditionally loving manner.
Maybe today, it is finally time to tell her the truth.
Will this be the end of their love?
Was it his heart or was it his mind?
Which one is ruining it?
Which one is about to give up the fight?
He's not able to answer his own questions, which are clouding up his thoughts.
He tries to focus on Regina.
She still holds him upright with her arms around him.
Her steady breath and the peace she radiates. She keeps him sane.
He feels how she turns her face to him and her lips touch his temple.
She lightly freckles the skin she can reach with kisses.
“Aleksander,” she whispers, “everything is okay.”
It sounds so unusual coming from her.
There are not many moments in their shared life, in which it isn't him, who is saying these words.
She gives him a moment, before she continues to calmly speak into his ear, “I don't need to know what bothers you.”
He tightens his hold around her, leans in heavier.
“I don't want you to suffer alone,” with the patterns she draws over the fabric of his shirt, she slowly traces the tension away.
“Let me be here for you. You always do so much for me – let me give it back to you.”
He isn't sure, if he is able to face her now, but he wants to reply something.
He wants to tell her that she owns him nothing in return for his support.
He wants to thank her, he wants to apologise – but his voice breaks as soon as he tries to form words, “I'm –”
“...not able to go to work today,” he hears the amusement in her voice, as she completes his sentence for him.
“A wise decision, Herr Tiedemann – don't worry,” she patters on his back.
“I'll call you secretary,” she tells him in a reassuring voice.
Her arms thighten the hold around his shoulders again. She places a firm kiss against the side of his head.
He wants to protest, all the obligations and responsibilities are tugging at his nerves.
“Aleksander,” Regina loosens her grip, she leans back.
Her eyes find his, he briefly holds her gaze, then he looks down on the counter top again.
The newspaper is still there, but now it is buried underneath the items Regina intentionally placed there to shield the headline away from him.
“The AKW won't fall apart without you today – let us take a break.”
“The hotel?” he croaks, his throat is rough, his mouth is dry.
A broad smile spreads across her face and spills into her eyes, “Do I need to remind you that it's me, who owns the hotel?”
He can't stop her glow from finding it's way onto his face, as well.
He shakes his head, he doesn't need a reminder for that. He is infinitely proud of her – he will always be.
“It is up to me, if I show up there or not – please do not burden your mind with that.”
Regina hates to make and take calls, but now she does that – for him.
She takes his phone off the counter, swiftly bends down to search in her bag for her reading glasses,
then she scrolls through his contacts for the name of Aleksander's secretary.
Thomas Huber.
Regina knows and likes him, they often have talked before – it's nothing new to her.
Nevertheless the effort it takes her to dial the number is visible on her face.
Aleksander softly places a hand on her back, caressing over the bare skin of her spine, which is visible through the slit in her blouse.
“I should carry you,” he murmurs, guilt staining his voice.
“You do that all the time,” Regina can't help herself from rolling her eyes impatiently,
“let me be here for you – at least for a while. Now hush!”
She lightly batters his hand away to be able to concentrate on the call.
While Regina talks, Aleksander leans back against the counter, crosses his arms, closes his eyes.
Memories are flooding his mind.
So many situations – mostly work related – in which her arms had to hold him steady to not fall apart.
“Hold on” he hears her whispered words, an echo from the past,
“You have done nothing wrong. All of them rely on you. That is a lot of pressure, but it is also a blessing.
You have done nothing wrong, it is not your fault, they will understand.”
You have done nothing wrong.
A truth Regina really believes. A truth she relies on.
Is she wrong?
Is she doing wrong in believing he hasn't done anything wrong?
His wife ends the call. With a sigh of relief, she puts her glasses and the phone down.
“I know that look, Aleksander,” Regina tells him, her voice casually as if she is continuing a conversation they had before.
She moves closer to him and caresses over his cheek.
The warmth her tender gesture causes makes him mirror her reassuring smile.
Their eyes never leaving the other. Regina leans towards him, closing the gap between them.
“May I kiss you?” Aleksander asks and the question lights up her whole face.
Regina nods and before she rests her lips on his, she repeats, “Everything is okay.”
This time, even though it's only for a moment, it doesn't sound unusual to him.