Work Text:
“Nothing” by Bruno Major played on our recorder we recorded from the day you were a guest on the radio station we always listened to.
As the host said it was the last song, we both looked at each other, stood up, held each other's hands and started dancing under the sparkling moon with all the stars watching and shining for us.
Our bare feet touched the sand as we swayed along with the wind.
When we got halfway through the song,
you pulled my body closer to yours, the closer we got, the tighter we held one another, as if we were all we had.
We kept dancing with what felt like hours, the wind slowly brushing against our skin.
Our eyes met and saw the whole universe in it.
As we danced under all the stars, you smiled at me with the most comforting look in your eyes and all I could do was smile back and looked deep into your eyes as if you were gonna go away if I didn't.
"I wish this song wouldn't have to end so I don't have to stay apart from you."
I kept thinking to myself, knowing very well that the song was about to end.
As the song faded, I quickly tightened my hug and I closed my eyes holding back my tears from falling.
"That was our last song for today, I had so much fun, have a good night's rest and stay safe everyone, this is Mark Lee, it was a pleasure being able to be a guest on here for all the listeners, see you soon everyone. Peace out."
The recorder went silent, and the sounds of the ocean waves and the soft cold wind was all I could hear.
I open my eyes and I was alone, alone again standing in our go-to spot where we always dance to the same song in the same spot, on the same recorder, and every Friday of the week
"everything was the same, so why couldn't you do that?"
I thought to myself again as I fell on the blanket.
I looked up at the stars as a whimper escaped from my mouth.
"I know you're watching over me from there, and i know you can never give me an answer but”
“Mark Lee, my star, did I get better at dancing?” I slightly giggled
“you always used to tease me about how bad I was.”
“Are you doing okay there? I know you probably have no one to talk to, but it's okay, you're one with the stars now.”
“I love you forever my star."
I said as I quietly cried under the night sky.
The stars that we used to dance under and look up at with our hands intertwined, are now the stars I look up at alone with no hand to hold, tears streaming down from my face.
The night was cold and quiet, all that could be heard was my quiet whimpers.
There was a long pause on the recorder, then it suddenly started playing
"Is this working? Am I recording na? Oh okay its working."
The voice of a familiar man on the recorder cleared his voice.
"Hey my sun, if you're listening to this, it probably means you forgot to turn it off because you fell asleep, but if you're hearing this now, worse probably became worst, and I'm probably gone by then."
There was a short pause.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I was scared it would make your smile go away."
"My sun, you are the strongest person I've ever met, and I don’t want you to think otherwise.”
“I feel awful having to leave you and your torn heart behind, so you desereve atleast this from me after breaking your heart.”
“I want to tell you all the things I was never able to say to you."
"I want to thank you, for believing in me.”
“I never really could've made it without you. From the very first day we met, oo noong high school pa, I knew it was you, it had to be you.”
“Noong high school pa nga tayo, I’d always shut you out, and purposely ignore you, wala eh, cute mo kapag galit ka."
”No matter how cold I am, you’d still manage to make your way through my walls.”
"Thank you for loving me, tolerating me and my attitude, and accepting me as a whole. Thank you for always pushing me and telling me to do my best all the time.”
“Thank you for all the memories and taking care of me. There's alot I'm thankful for, from the very first time we met up until now as I'm recording this."
“You really are amazing. You loved the very flawed Mark Lee, the igop Mark Lee, the laging cold Mark Lee, you loved me, Mark Lee.”
”I really don’t know what I did in my past life to deserve someone like you. Medyo halata na favorite ako ni Lord ah.”
He laughed at his own joke. Cutie talaga.
"I'm sorry for not being there with you anymore. I'm sorry I couldn't fulfill my promise to live with you, wake up with you, and spending everyday with you, there are just some things that we cannot control."
"Even if these were the prices we had to pay for us to meet, I regret nothing, heck, I'd do it over again if I could.”
“Relive every moment I've spent with you, in your arms, our movie dates, coffee dates, I already miss it all.”
“I will forever love you, even after my last breath."
"Never give up my flower, wag kang mag mamadali, go live your life, maghihintay ako.”
“Magkita tayo sa kabilang buhay, araw ko."
Mark paused for awhile, and I could hear his small sniffle that would break me all the time.
"I'll always be waiting for you in this life, the other, and the rest. forever, its you Lee Haechan."
The recorder finally stopped playing and all I could feel was pain.
I was numb, the tears wouldn't stop coming down from the sockets of my eyes.
My heart ached even more from remebering all the memories we had spent with each other.
Remembering all the promises we made that are now nothing more than broken ones that'll never come true.
But that didnt matter to him at this point, he was sort of relieved after hearing his voice.
"I've lost you and the only thing I can do now is live on for you and myself."
He thought to himself.
"Thank you Mark, for this, I really needed it. I don't blame you for not telling me, choice mo naman 'yun eh.”
“I don't and will never hold it against you. I promise to live my life on behalf of you, my star."
"You will forever be a part of me, maghintay ka lang, I'll be there with you soon Mark Lee, I love you forever and always."
I looked up at the stars once again, the moon was pale and the stars were bright. The tears on my cheek reflected the moonlight.
The stars looked quite different tonight, there was a particular star that shined brighter than the rest. I knew you were looking down on me from up there.
I knew it was you, my star.