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Losing Castiel felt like losing something Dean never even knew he could lose. He’s lost Cas before, but never had it felt so permanent. The only ever time it felt this true and serious had been the day Jack was born. Even then, through the depression and the grief, Dean felt in his gut that it wasn’t the end.
Death has never stuck for Cas before and after a while he started to expect him to always make his way back.
When Cas had said, “I love you,” it felt like when someone holds a loaded gun to your forehead and all you can do is stare down the barrel with blurred vision. It felt like the end.
He knew they had something, always did, but it was always left unsaid all these years between everything going on. Cas finally making it unsaid was indicative of just how final he must’ve felt that moment was.
“Don’t do this.” Don’t say the words he’s always wanted to hear if this means this is the end. Don’t say those words if saying them means he’ll never get to see Cas again. He would rather live in silence than hear those words and lose Cas.
The damage was already done, Castiel was taken by the empty and Dean was left shattered in his absence.
That was months ago. They fought Chuck and won, their next venture into free will came in the form of finding a way to rescue Castiel.
Jack, despite his best efforts to stay hands off, finally decided to chip in when the grief of missing his father became too much for even the new God to handle.
It became a larger project than what Dean initially anticipated. Sam was a given, Jack an expected latecomer. Eileen makes her way to the bunker as soon as Sam mentions the plan to her. After that it doesn’t take long for Jody and the girls to catch wind of the rescue, rushing to the bunker almost as soon as word got back to them. Of course, Jody tells Donna and she comes in a few hours after the girls.
In the end there’s ten people working their asses off, digging through lore and contacting whoever could even have a smidgin of information. In the end they have to play a classic power card- Jack.
Jack journeys into the empty to offer silence in exchange for Cas. They all sit with baited breaths, expecting to be waiting some time.
In a surprising twist of fate, it only takes twenty minutes for Jack to fall back out of the black sludge on the wall. There’s a tense moment and then Cas falls out behind him.
Jack wheels around and grabs his dad so quickly the man barely has time to process the hug. Just as he’s reacting to Jack’s affection, Claire surprises everyone in the room- and maybe even herself- by throwing herself at Cas as well.
The room erupts into noise, yells of triumph and even a few happy sniffles. Dean pretends not to see Sam wiping his teary eyes against the back of his hand, but only because if anyone took even one look at him they’d see the few tears slipping from his eyes.
‘Hey Cas,’ He prays and the angel’s eyes snap up from where he had been affectionately staring down at the kids. Their eyes meet across the room and it feels like a lightning bolt strikes Dean in the chest.
‘I love you too, jackass.’ He prays and the most beautiful thing happens.
A smile breaks out on Cas’s face, so soft it hurts, and Dean can’t help the matching smile that graces his lips in response.